Between the Living and the Dead
by totally-a-nerd
Summary: Ava Sallow has lost her family: her sister, her brother and her niece left behind when soldiers kidnapped her in the early weeks of the outbreak. Now alone, she is heading to Atlanta when she meets Rick Grimes and is convinced to join him on the road. As things go from bad to worse, Ava fears she will never find her family, but will she gain a new one? Cont. in In the Dying Light.
1. Days gone by: Part 1

Days gone by: Part 1

The sun beat down, unbearably hot to someone used to rain and mild summers. Sometimes I wish I had stayed in England, but then I would be complaining about the constant rain instead. And there'd be no way to find Hailey and Riley. Neither Luke nor I could fly a plane or sail a boat. We'd be trapped on a tiny land-mass.

Ideally, if I could go back, I'd tell Hailey and Riley to come to England. That way we'd all be together when the world ended and still have a moderately small amount of land to search if we got separated.

As it was, I was stranded on the second largest land mass on the planet, a hundred times bigger than Britain, and I had lost my family.

I kicked a rock, scowling as it skidded down the abandoned highway. Cars littered the tarmac, some half-on half-off the road as their drivers had careened into the verge. Maybe they had seen a corpse and swerved to avoid it. Maybe they had died and turned at the wheel. Some still had passengers strapped in, their corpses withered and decayed into leather-skinned husks. Not all the corpses lay dead.

The unnatural silence of the highway was punctuated by the occasional groan. There was a wide stretch of grass between the trees and the road, giving me plenty of time to see the lumbering killers before they got too close. It was why I was suffering the glare of the sun. As long as I stayed hydrated, it wouldn't creep up and kill me.

Thinking of water I stopped again and dug through my supplies. I only had one bottle of water left and took one mouthful from it. I'd have to find a river or a lake soon, which would mean heading into the forest. Or I could keep going and hope to find a house, though it might be wishful thinking to assume the taps still work. I hadn't had to deal with water before. The soldiers always left me with the truck when they scavenged for supplies.

My neutral mood soured at the thought of them. I could still feel their blood on my hands and touched the handle of my knife, technically theirs but no longer. It had spilled their blood and taken their lives. It had always been a nasty looking weapon, but seeing the devastation of the wound the tri-bladed knife had given still made me feel sick.

But it was my only weapon. The others had left only two to guard me and were coming back as I'd ended them. I barely had time to swipe the keys to their truck before they burst into the clearing, guns blazing. It seems in that moment that they didn't remember my usefulness and shot to kill.

I gunned that truck until the fuel ran out and abandoned it where it died.

For hours I wandered, avoiding the reaching arms of the dead trapped in their cars. I didn't bother dispatching them. They were harmless as they were and there was no one around. For all I knew, I was the last human being alive.

I shook my head. I couldn't think like that, not when there was a chance that my family was alive. I stopped to read the road sign and saw Atlanta signposted. I groaned at how many miles sat between me and the City, dropping to the ground and crossing my legs. My muscles ached in a deliciously relieved way and I rubbed my head, trying not to cry.

Before the soldiers took me, we were heading to Atlanta. I had to hope Hailey and Luke continued on, that I would find them there, but each day that hope felt more like a fools wish. Each day I'd wake, certain they were dead. By the time I had started on my way again I'd have managed to kid myself into thinking they were already in Atlanta, waiting for me. There was a survivors camp there, safe from the corpses and I would find them safe and happy and we'd rebuild and take back the world from the dead.

I looked up from my boots and saw the deserted highway. A corpse lumbered from the tree-line, a young woman in a yellow sundress stained with blood.

Who was I kidding? This wasn't going to end any time soon.

I stood, unsheathing the dagger and met the corpse halfway. Her bloodied jaw gaped at me. I shoved the blade through her eye socket and watched as any supposed life drained from her body. The corpse fell and I staggered back. My eyes stung as they caught on the delicate gold engagement ring on her finger. Was her fiancé still alive? Or did they turn and kill her?

I went to close her remaining eye when a sound caught my attention. It used to be such an ordinary sound but now it was as out of place as the walking dead used to be.

A car was moving down the highway, dusty as hell but still clearly a cop car. Through the windshield I could see a man in uniform driving along as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

The image of a cop car driven by a cop was so bizarre to me that I didn't think to hide as he came closer. Only when he slowed beside me did I curse myself for not being cautious. It was as if I'd forgotten what happened the last time we'd encountered survivors. The soldiers had broken down and, as a mechanic, I'd offered to help – an action which resulted in them kidnapping me to make sure they wouldn't break down again.

The engine cut off, plunging me back into silence. My palms grew sweaty and I palmed the dagger, prepared to fight if I had to. The man who exited the car was dressed in a near-immaculate uniform complete with a brown sheriffs' hat. He removed said hat, dropping it onto his seat, and moved around the front of the car.

"Hey there." He said with a heavy southern drawl. He had short brown hair and a clean face, piercing blue eyes meeting mine as he loitered at the edge of the car. His gaze slide to the dagger.

"Hi." I said, still gripping the blade.

The sheriff seemed unsure of what to say next and placed his hands on his hips, regarding me carefully.

"Can you put the knife down?"

"No." I said immediately, though I relaxed my stance. "I don't know you. I'm not risking it."

"You think I'd hurt you?" He frowned.

"I wouldn't put it past anyone these days."

The man swallowed, wiping his brow and slowly drawing his gun. His eyes never left mine as he placed it on the hood of his car and raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm going to trust you not to kill me. Can you do the same?"

Truthfully I couldn't trust him, not yet, but he'd put himself at my mercy and I had to appreciate the gesture. Just looking into his eyes I could see he meant me no harm. They were kind and hopeful, something I hadn't seen in a while. I decided to take the chance.

The sheriff offered a smile as I sheathed the blade and looked at me questioningly as he reached for his gun. I bit my lip but nodded and he holstered it swiftly.

"I'm Rick Grimes." He said, holding his hand out.

I closed the distance between us with hesitant steps and accepted the gesture, shaking his hand.

"Ava Sallow."

"You're a long way from home." He said, grinning crookedly. I smiled genuinely for the first time in weeks.

"What gave me away?" I said, emphasising my heavy British accent. He chuckled.

"You heading anywhere?" He asked. "Are there others with you or are you…?"

"I'm alone. I got separated from my family a few weeks ago. They were heading to a survivors group." I said, reaching back to tighten my ponytail. With my hair as greasy as it was it was almost black as opposed to the golden brown I used to treasure.

"My family did the same. I'm a sheriff – or was a sheriff. I got shot before any of this happened and woke up a few days ago in a hospital. They were heading to Atlanta."

My eyes widened at the thought of waking up to find the world in this state, to find my family gone, and I immediately understood how he could be so trusting of me. He was like everyone in the early days of the outbreak: hopeful and certain it would be over soon.

"My family and I were heading to Atlanta when we were separated. I'm hoping they kept going." I said.

"So you're heading to Atlanta? I can give you a ride if you want?"

"I…" I trailed off, uncertain as to whether I could trust him. My gaze fell to the gun at his thigh. He could so easily draw and kill me if he desired, especially in the car. Prompted, Rick moved to the passenger door and pulled out a back bag. I gaped at the assortment of guns and stared at him as he pulled a handgun from the mix, holding it flat on his palm and out to me.

"You're giving me a gun?"

Rick shrugged.

"You might need it. Beside, I've got plenty."

"Guns aren't something you just give away, not these days."

"The way I see it," Rick said, flipping the gun over in his hands. "Friends are worth a lot more. The world has gone to shit. No one can go it alone, not with the dead walking. I'd appreciate having someone to watch my back and I'll do the same for you."

It was a refreshingly positive outlook. I'd spent too long trying to believe things could get better and failing. Rick was right. Going it alone wasn't a sustainable option most notably in terms of my sanity.

I held out my hand and Rick gave me the gun, the two of us sharing a look. There was an understanding in place now. Rick moved the bag of guns onto the back seat and I joined him in the car without even a hint of fear. I was beginning to trust him and as he turned the radio on, playing a CD of folk-music and nodding along as he drove, I began to like him too.


	2. Days gone by: Part 2

S1E1P2

"So what brings you to America? Or do you live here?" Rick asked, continuing the amiable conversation that had filled the silence when repeating the CD grew boring.

"My sister Hailey lives here with her daughter, Riley. She suggested me and Luke – our brother – come out to see them. It was supposed to be an escape of sorts."

"Escaping what?"

"My ex." I sighed. "We'd been dating for years. He broke up with me a few months ago, confessing at the time that he'd been cheating for almost a year. God I was stupid. I should have seen it sooner."

"Sounds like a piece of work." He said, his tone disapproving. I went to ask about his family when the car spluttered and died.

"Something wrong with the engine? I could take a look?"

"Nah," He said, tapping the fuel gage. "It was only a matter of time before we ran out. I've got a canister to get more. We'll just have to look for it."

Sighing, he got out of the car and went to the boot. I stared through the windscreen a while longer. It had been so long since I'd been in a moving vehicle. Sure, I'd driven the truck for a day or so but my mind had drifted between the murders I'd committed and the family I had lost. I didn't get much time to enjoy the ride.

With Rick I had enjoyed a car journey, but now it was back to walking. My feet ached at the thought but I ignored them and threw open the door, climbing out and stretching my back which cracked pleasantly.

"How far do you think we are from Atlanta?"I asked.

"Don't know. I'd say if we get fuel or find another car we'll be there in the day. If we have to walk though…" He left the end unsaid. I knew damn well it would take forever on foot. At least between us we had a good supply of food, though water could be an issue soon.

I swung my bag onto my back as Rick grabbed the guns and we left the car in the middle of the road. It felt weird to leave it there, habits of a more civilised time still plaguing me.

"What about your family?" I asked as the car became a speck behind us. Rick swung the fuel canister at his side.

"My wife and son, Lori and Carl. They left a note telling me where they'd gone."

"Which was Atlanta?"

"Yeah."

I looked at my feet as we continued, noticing dried blood on the toe of my boot and making a mental note to clean them next time we stopped. The silence became heavy as I wrestled with asking him the question I was too afraid to ask myself. After what felt like hours, I spat it out.

"What happens if they're not there?"

"They will be." Rick said, his unwavering certainty something I wished for. To be so sure that my family were close, that I would find them. I sighed.

"I'm not trying to say they're dead. It's just…I can't stop thinking that about my family. That they're gone and I'll never see them again."

Rick looked at me, his brow furrowed.

"I suppose you just have to focus on the fact that for all you know, they're alive and well whether that's in Atlanta or not. Unless I see my family dead, I won't believe they are."

"That's how you get through it?" I asked.

He nodded, and I realised he was right. It was like Schrödinger's cat, in a way. At this moment, my family was both dead and alive. I kept focusing on them being dead, but they could just as easily be alive. They were the cat, the walking dead the poison. Whether the poison killed them or not would remain unknown until I found them.

"Thanks Rick." I said, smiling at him. He smiled back before his attention was drawn to a house by the road. It was a pretty thing with white wood panelling and purple flowers by the porch. Rick put down the bag and the canister.

"Hello?" He said, approaching the house. "Police Officer out here. Can I borrow some gas?"

It was almost funny to see him acting as if things were so normal, but it was also deeply sad. I took off my bag and rested it by his stuff, rummaging through for something to eat. I gave him a nod as he looked back to me and spat on a rag, rubbing the spot of blood on my boot. Had it come from the soldiers or the walkers, I wondered.

Rick continued to call out to the people in that house, approaching the front door and moving around the porch. I doubted he'd find anyone. The place felt abandoned.

Beneath some clothes, supplies and sentimental pieces I found a squashed cereal bar and pulled it out, crossing my legs beneath me as I sat and munched through it. I considered saving half for Rick, but when he came back down from the porch he looked ready to throw up.

"What is it?" I asked, as he sat on a wall and struggled not to vomit.

"The people who lived here…They killed themselves. Shot in the head."

Glad I'd finished the cereal bar before asking, I washed it down with a mouthful of water and put everything away. Rick jumped to his feet and moved to the car presumably belonging to the now-deceased. He searched the interior for keys but with no luck. I was about to suggest we keep looking when a whinny caught our attention.

Behind the house was a huge green field in which a horse grazed. He had a beautiful chestnut coat and I grinned as we approached him, Rick resting his hat on a post by the gate.

"You know how to ride a horse?" I asked.

"Haven't done it in a while, but we're out of options." He said, giving me a nervous smile. I folded my arms and leaned against the post, watching as he slowly approached the horse.

"Easy now, easy." He said, fiddling with the harness he had grabbed from the fence. "I'm not going to hurt you, nothing like that. More like a proposal."

I hid a smile as I watched him talk to a horse who looked like he couldn't give a damn what Rick was saying.

"Atlanta's just down the road a way. It's safe there. Food, shelter, people, other horses too, I bet. How's that sound?"

Rick wrapped the harness around the horses neck and pulled him from the field, muttering reassurances as he went.

"You're good with horses." I said as Rick saddled him up. I held the harness while he did and though Rick fumbled occasionally, he seemed to know what he was doing. The horse I'd nicknamed chestnut stood calmly throughout.

"Beginners luck, more like." He said, grabbing the bag of guns.

"It'd be better if I carried that since I have to go behind you." I said, imagining the barrels of those guns bouncing near my face. He agreed with a smile and helped me put it on before mounting the horse.

Soon we were galloping towards Atlanta at a reasonable speed, a pleasant journey aside from the bruising to my thighs and back. Those guns were heavy. As we reached the city we rode down the empty highway, staring at the other side – the one leaving Atlanta – which was filled with wrecked and abandoned cars.

I tried not to take this as a bad sign, but the silence was oppressive and ominous. My arms instinctively tightened around Ricks' waist, but neither of us said a word, perhaps hoping we weren't thinking the same thing.

The City was empty of everything but rubbish and the dead. We passed a few Walkers in a bus, but not enough to be concerned about. There were no people, no telltale sounds of the living. Only a dead tank with a corpse on top.

"Rick-" I started, but he cut me off with a harsh shush. I frowned until I heard what he did: a helicopter. Looking up, I craned my neck for the source.

"There!" Rick said and I turned in time to see a reflection in the glass of a tower block. Rick kicked the horse into motion and my stomach lurched as we raced towards the street. We turned a corner and immediately halted, the horse bucking and almost throwing me free.

With wide eyes I took in a truly unimaginable number of the undead. My heart stopped, then pounded against my sternum as Rick turned the horse back the way it had come. I could feel his heart hammering beneath my grip.

I moaned as another crowd of Walkers filled our way out, trapping us between two masses that quickly became one. In the panic I saw only dead eyes and gaping jaws, hands stretched out in desperate need of my flesh. Then I was falling.

The horse whinnied as the dead devoured it. Pain shot through my back from landing on the guns, winding me. Before I could catch my breath, Rick was at my side, sitting me up. The weight fell from my shoulders and I groaned in relief until I saw what was around us.

They were everywhere, stumbling towards us with only one goal. I could smell their dead flesh and the warmth of the horses'. The Walkers tore into it. At least it was already dead.

"Under the tank!" Rick yelled, pushing me under before following himself. The walkers continued to crawl after us and the opposite end of the tank was already blocked by more. Gunshots pounded against my eardrums and I looked back to see Rick firing on them. He turned and shot one near the front.

Our eyes met, sharing the fear and desperation as it became clear there was no way out.

But I wasn't giving up that easily.

I looked around and saw a hole in the tank close to Rick.

"Rick!" I yelled, pointing. He looked up and immediately pulled himself inside. I scrambled over to the hole, the sounds of groans and my own frantic breath filling my ears as I reached for the hole. Rick grabbed my hands and wrenched me up before slamming the hatch shut.

At first we just breathed, relishing the fact we still could, but as Rick reached for the gun on the dead soldier, he reanimated.

"Rick, don't-" But he fired the gun and everything went hazy. I grabbed my head. My ears burned from the sound. I covered them with my hands, hunched over, and took several deep breathes. With my eyes closed I could almost pretend we weren't trapped.

When I opened my eyes, Rick was pulling the upper hatch shut and dropped to the floor beside me, cradling his head in his hands. I wanted to give him something, say it wasn't the end or that we would find something, but both seemed inadequate, especially since they sounded like lies even to me. I began to wish I'd joined the army and trained as an army mechanic. Then I might have known how to start the tank.

After a few seconds, the radio crackled. We both looked up in hope and I held my breath as the static warbled.

"Hey, you." A voice said, a man from the sounds of it. I exchanged a look with Rick and couldn't help but smile.

"Dumbasses." The voice said again.

"Hey, you two in the tank? Cosy in there?"

I looked at Rick, still grinning.

"This city isn't so dead after all."


	3. Guts: Part 1

S1E2P1

"Hey? You still alive in there?"

Rick started, banging his head on the ceiling of the tank before grabbing the walkie. I winced for him and listened intently, pulling the straps of my backpack more securely on. Then my eyes widened.

"Hello? Hello?" Rick said. I grabbed his arm and he turned to me.

"The bag. I dropped it."

"There you are. You had me wondering." The man said as Rick nodded at me.

"I know. I saw it." He said before clicking the walkie back on. "Where are you? Outside? Can you see us right now?"

"Yeah, I can see you. You're surrounded by Walkers. That's the bad news."

"There's good news?"

"No."

I dropped my head into my hands and groaned, smoothing back stray hair that escaped my ponytail and trying to subdue the writhing anxiety in my stomach. We weren't dead yet. We'd think of something. Rick rubbed his head.

"Listen, whoever you are, I don't mind telling you we're a little concerned in here."

"Oh man. You should see it from out here. You'd be having a major freak-out."

I rolled my eyes, tempted to snatch the walkie and yell back that he was lucky not trapped in the middle of it, but I refrained.

"Got any advice for us?"

"Yeah, I'd say make a run for it."

Rick and I exchanged a look. I swallowed at the thought of going back onto the street. I was already certain to have nightmares about their reaching arms again. I didn't need more memories to fuel my terror.

"That's it? Make a run for it?" Rick said, his usually calm tone growing aggravated.

"My way's not as dumb as it sounds. You've got eyes on the outside here. There's one geek still up on the tank but the others have climbed down and joined the feeding frenzy where the horse went down. With me so far?"

"So far." Rick said, sounding far from enthused. I couldn't blame him. As mediocre as our odds sounded, it was still a risky plan.

"Okay," The man continued. "The street on the other side of the tank is less crowded. If you move now while they're distracted, you stand a chance. Got ammo?"

"In that duffel bag I dropped out there, and guns. Can I get to it?"

"Forget the bag, okay? It's not an option. What do you have on you?"

"Hang on." Rick said, grabbing the soldiers gun and examining the clip. I grabbed my gun and did the same, seeing it was actually the same make as the one he now had. Rick scrambled over to the body and searched him, but came up empty. His gaze snagged on the grenade at the same time as mine. I'd never seen a grenade before. It didn't look how I'd expected, not green and covered in little squares with a handle. It looked like a mini cannon ball with a ring attached to it.

Rick looked at me and I shrugged.

"Might as well."

He clipped it to his belt and returned to the walkie.

"Your ammo?"

"I haven't fired a round."

He nodded.

"We've got two Beretta's with one clip, 15 rounds each."

"Make them count. Jump off the right side of the tank, keep going in that direction. There's an alley up the street, maybe 50 yards. Be there."

I shifted onto my feet, ready to move and flicked the safety off. Being kidnapped by soldiers had some benefits, it seems. I knew quite a bit about guns.

"Hey, what's your name?" Rick asked.

"Have you been listening? You're running out of time."

I cocked a brow at Rick and he nodded, grabbing a spade from the wall of the tank. He took a breath and jumped for the hatch. I followed, ignoring the fear pooling in my stomach. The cry of a downed Walker echoed back to me before Rick moved aside.

The crack of gunfire echoed down the street as I jumped down from the tank. The man on the walkie had been right, the street was much less crowded than before though the dead still reached for us, quickly clumping together as they caught our scent.

"Come on!" Rick said, shooting his way down the street. I stayed close at his heels, breathing harshly as I dodged the Walkers. I fired only once as one jumped between me and Rick. I vaulted the body and raced to catch up as we reached the alleyway. Rick turned his gun down the alley, sticking the barrel straight into a man's face. He raised his hands.

"Whoa! Not dead! Come on, come on." He ran down the alleyway as the dead piled after us, crowding the narrow space. I tried not to think about how completely trapped we were now.

"Back here! Come on, come on." The man yelled, jumping up a ladder to the fire escape. Rick went to fire at the Walkers but found the gun empty, taking a moment to holster the Buretta.

"Rick, come on!" I yelled, grabbing at the ladder as soon as the man got high enough.

"Yeah, what are you doing? Come on!"

Rick clamoured after us, his feet barely escaping the fingers of the dead. I all but fell onto the fire escape and grabbed the railing as my legs shook uncontrollably.

"Nice moves there, Clint Eastwood. You the new sheriff come riding in to clean up the town?" The man panted.

"It wasn't my intention."

"We were looking for the refugee centre." I said, swallowing as my heart began to settle.

"Yeah, whatever. Yeehaw. You're still dumbasses"

"Rick. Thanks." Rick said.

"Glenn. You're welcome."

"I'm Ava." I said, holding my hand out to Glenn. He turned and shook it lightly. He had dark hair hidden under a baseball cap and a matching shirt open over a black top. His cleanliness put me to shame, making me wonder just what I looked like. I'd found a river about a week ago and washed my clothes as best I could, but I'd been wearing the same thing for weeks.

"Oh no." Glenn said, drawing my attention to the alley. A walker was starting to climb the ladder. Glenn turned and we all looked at our only escape: a ladder going straight up the side of the building. At least I wasn't afraid of heights. "The bright side: It'll be the fall that kills us. I'm a glass-half-full kind of guy."

We quickly traversed the building, ending up on the roof where I felt infinitely safer, perhaps naively. Looking down at the Walkers made them fell less threatening. I could get used to seeing them from such a distance.

"Are you the one who barricaded the alley?" Rick asked, nodding to the row of vehicles –including a bus – that lined the other side of the road.

"Somebody did…I guess when the city got overrun. Whoever did it was thinking not many geeks would get through." Glenn said.

"Back at the tank," Rick said, catching my eye a moment before turning to Glenn. "Why'd you stick your neck out for us?"

Glenn moved across the roof and lifted a hatch, revealing another ladder.

"Call it foolish, naïve hope that if I'm ever that for up shit creek, somebody might do the same for me. Guess I'm an even bigger dumbass than you."

Glenn disappeared down the ladder and Rick gestured for me to go first.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Better than I was five minutes ago." I said with a tremulous grin. He smiled back and followed, closing the hatch and plunging us into relative darkness.

We continued through the building and Glenn pulled out a walkie talkie, shouting into it as we ran.

"I'm back. Got some guests plus four geeks in the alley."

Rick and I followed Glenn down another staircase and out a door where two Walkers waited. I grabbed the handle of my dagger, prepared to take them down, but a door across the way banged open and two people in protective gear come out. They raised baseball bats and took them down as the three of us ran past.

"Morales, let's go!" One of the masked men shouted as they followed us into the building.

As soon as we go to safety, a blonde woman grabbed Rick and put a gun to his head.

"You son of a bitch. We ought to kill you." She said. I didn't hesitate to draw my gun and raise it on her.

"Whoa, chill out! Andrea, back off."One of the men said.

"Yeah, come on, ease up." Another woman said. Andrea glanced warily at the gun to her head.

"We're dead because of you assholes." She said.

I leaned forward, making sure she felt the cold of the gun on her temple. Somehow I managed to keep my hand from shaking as I fleetingly wondered whether I would actually be able to pull the trigger.

"Put it down." I said, and she did, seemingly defeated as she staggered away.

Rick nodded to me and I smiled.

"Got your back, remember?"

He nodded, straightening.

"We're dead." Andrea said, tears in her eyes. "All of us…because of you."

"I don't understand." Rick said, though I had a good idea. I would have warned Rick against the gun but in the heat of the moment there wasn't the time or the choice. I sure as hell wouldn't have been able to get through that street with just a knife.

"Look," The man – Morales – said. "We came into the city to scavenge supplies. You know what the key to scavenging is? Surviving." He clapped Rick on the back and began steering him through the building. I followed, holstering my gun as I did.

"You know the key to surviving? Sneaking in and out, tiptoeing. Not shooting up the streets like it's the O.K. Corral." Morales finished as we reached a room full of clothes and mannequins. Clearly this had been a clothes shop.

"Every geek for miles around heard you popping off rounds." The other man said, a black man in a white shirt that said 'Brooklyn'.

Rick stared at the doors to the store, made of glass and in two layers: interior and exterior doors. The exterior doors were completely blocked by a hoard of Walkers. The glass was cracking and smeared with gunk. One Walker was smashing a rock against it.

"You just rang the damn dinner bell." Andrea said.

"Get the picture now?"

I swallowed. Seemed we'd gone from one trapped place to another. At least we had slightly better odds here.

"Oh god." Andrea moaned. "What the hell were you doing out there anyway?"

"Trying to flag the helicopter." Rick said.

"Helicopter? Man, that's crap. Ain't no damn helicopter."

"You were chasing a hallucination, imagining things. It happens." The black woman with strikingly defined cheekbones said.

"If he was hallucinating, how come I saw it too? It was there." I said firmly.

"Hey, T-Dog, try that C.B. Can you contact the others?" Morales said, addressing the black man. T-Dog nodded.

"Others? The refugee centre?" Rick asked, reminding me of the whole reason we'd come here in the first place.

"Yeah, the refugee centre. They've got biscuits waiting in the oven for us."

I frowned at the black woman but Rick ignored her, watching as T-Dog fiddled with the settings.

"Got no signal. Maybe the roof?" He said.

As if on cue, gunfire echoed from above and the group looked up. Andrea groaned.

"Oh no, is that Dixon?"

"What is the maniac doing?" Morales said.

"Come on, let's go." Glenn gestured for us to follow as they all ran to the roof of the store.

On the roof the sun blazed and I shielded my eyes as I turned to the man standing precariously on the edge of the roof with a sniper rifle.

"Hey, Dixon, are you crazy?" T-Dog yelled as we piled out onto the roof. Dixon laughed and aimed again, firing.

"Oh jeez." Andrea sighed.

"Hey!" Dixon said, turning to them. "Y'all be more polite to a man with a gun! Huh? Only common sense."

I instinctively disliked the man. He gave an air of cocky self-importance that never settled well with me. I couldn't stand people who thought themselves above others.

"Man, you wasting bullets we ain't even got!" T-Dog said, but Dixon just laughed and jumped down from the roof. "And you're bringing even more of them down on our asses. Man, just chill."

"Hey! Bad enough I've got this taco-vender on my ass all day." Dixon said, gesturing to Morales. "Now I'm gonna take orders from you? I don't think so bro. That'll be the day."

Great. So not only was this man an asshole, but he was a racist asshole. My dislike for him was growing.

"That'll be the day? You got something you want to tell me?" T-Dog said, glaring at Dixon.

"Hey, T-Dog man, just leave it. All right? It ain't worth it. Now Merle, just relax, okay? We've got enough trouble." Morales tried.

Rick turned to Glenn but he quickly gestured for him to stay out of it. I grit my teeth. Both men ignored Morales and glared at one another, getting up in each others' faces.

"You want to know the day?" Merle said.

"Yeah."

"I'll tell you the day, Mr. Yo. It's the day I take orders from a nigger."

"Mother-" T-Dog lunged but Merle wasted no time in hitting him with the butt of the rifle. Merle didn't stop there though. I covered my mouth as he continued to beat on T-Dog. Rick jumped over some pipes to try and stop them but Merle planted a right hook in his face, sending him flying back.

I gasped and went to his side as Glenn followed the fight. Merle continued to hit T-Dog without mercy while the others cried for him to stop. Rick got to his hands and knees groggily but he seemed unharmed. I looked up and went for my gun, but Rick stopped me, shaking his head. Merle pulled his own gun and everyone fell quiet.

"Yeah!" Merle said. "All right! We're gonna have ourselves a little powwow, huh? Talk about who's in charge. I vote me. Anybody else? Huh? Democracy time, y'all. Show of hands? All in favour? Come on. Let's see 'em. All in favour?"

Some of the group raised their hands, the black lady I needed to learn the name of raising her middle finger as she did. I helped Rick to his feet.

"Yeah. That's good. Now that means I'm the boss, right? Yeah. Anybody else? Hmm? Anybody?"

"Yeah." Rick said, whacking a pipe over the back of Merles' head. With him on the ground, Rick grabbed his wrist and handcuffed him to a pipe, dragging him up.

"Who the hell are you, man?"

"Officer friendly."

I smirked, moving to Glenns' side.

"Look here, Merle. Things are different now. There are no niggers anymore. No dumb-as-shit, inbred white-trash fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. There's us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart."

"Screw you, man." Merle said, being the self-righteous dumbass I was pretty sure he would always be. Maybe that was a tad judgemental, but he was pissing me off.

"I can see you make a habit of missing the point." Rick said.

"Yeah? Well, screw you twice."

Rick shifted, drawing his revolver and pressing the barrel to Merles head.

"Ought to be polite to a man with a gun." He said, cocking the hammer. "Only common sense."

"You wouldn't. You're a cop."

"All I am anymore is a man looking for his wife and son. Anybody that gets in the way of that is going to lose. I'll give you a moment to think about that."

Rick searched him as everyone watched in silence, finding a vial of something in one of his pockets. He chuckled.

"Got some on your nose there." Rick said, flicking Merles nose.

"What're you going to do? Arrest me?" Merle laughed. He stopped when Rick threw the vial off the roof, shouting obscenities instead as Rick headed to the other end of the roof. Morales and I went after him.

"Are you alright?" I asked, eyeing his shaking hand which was gripped tightly by the other.

"I'm fine." He said, forcing a smile that wasn't entirely reassuring. I hadn't thought much about his injury beyond when he'd mentioned being shot. He said he'd woken up a few days ago, meaning he had been in a coma. I wasn't an expert, but I doubted people came out of month-long coma's at full-strength.

"You're not Atlanta P.D. Where you from?" Morales asked.

"Up the road a ways." He said.

Morales looked to me.

"What about you?"

"From across the pond, but before the outbreak. Name's Ava Sallow, by the way."

He nodded.

"Well, Officer Friendly from up the road, Ava Sallow from across the pond, welcome to the big city."


	4. Guts: Part 2

S1E2P2

My introduction to Atlanta hadn't been as great as I'd hoped, but it had certainly been interesting. After a look at the dead city, we set our sights on the road below. I hoped for a gap in the herd, but there was nothing. It seemed the Walkers already there were drawing others and the more that arrived, the more they attracted. We'd need a miracle to get past them at this point.

"My God, it's like Times Square down there." Andrea said, breaking a solemn silence. Morales turned to T-Dog.

"How's that signal?"

"Like Dixon's brain…weak."

Merle gave T-Dog the finger and I smirked.

"Keep trying."

"Why? There's nothing they can do. Not a damn thing." Andrea said, stepping away from the edge of the building. I leant my elbows on the side and looked down at the sea of the dead, trying to find any place for us to get through but knowing I wouldn't find one.

"Got some people on the outside is all." Morales said, drawing my attention. "There's no refugee centre. That's a pipe dream."

My heart clenched, but the overwhelming hopelessness I'd expected to feel didn't come. Maybe I'd always known it would come to this, that my family wouldn't be here, or maybe I was too worried about surviving the day to properly feel the despair. Rick reacted similarly, looking down for a moment but focusing on the task at hand.

"Then she's right." He said. "We're on our own. It's up to us to find a way out."

"Good luck with that." Merle said, his gaze falling on me for the first time. It lingered in places that made me want to punch him. "These streets ain't safe in this part of town from what I hear. Ain't that right, sugar tits?" He turned to Andrea, who was rummaging through a bag near him. "Hey, Honeybunch, what say you get me out of these cuffs, we go off somewhere and bump some uglies? Gonna die anyway."

"I'd rather."

Merle scowled.

"Rub muncher. I figured as much."

I frowned, wondering if he was accusing her of what I thought he was, then noticed his gaze had turned to me.

"What about you, Posh?"

"Posh?" I cocked a brow, leaning against the wall and folding my arms.

"On account of that plummy accent of yours." He grinned. "What d'you say?"

I scoffed.

"I'd rather bump uglies with the dead."

Merle rolled his eyes but said nothing. Rick turned away from the wall.

"Okay so the streets ain't safe. What about under the streets? The sewers?"

"Oh man." Morales said, eyes growing hopeful. "Hey, Glenn, check the alley. You see any manhole covers?"

Glenn ran over and leaned across the wall, peering down for a few seconds.

"No," He said, coming back. "Must be all out on the street where the geeks are."

I sighed, trying to figure out if we could distract them away from the sewers when the other lady I still didn't know the name of spoke up.

"Maybe not. Old building like this built in the '20s…Big structures often had drainage tunnels into the sewers in case of flooding down in the subbasements."

"How do you know that?" Glenn asked.

"It's my job…was. I worked in the city zoning office."

It was as good a plan as any, so we went to see if she was right, leaving T-Dog on the roof to try and get a hold of the others.

Glenn led us to a square hole surrounded by railings that had a ladder down one side. Rick shone a torch into the darkness, illuminating a rounded, brick tunnel very reminiscent of old sewers.

"This is it? Are you sure?" Morales asked.

"I scoped this place out the other times I was here. It's the only thing in the building that goes down. But I've never gone down it. Who'd want to, right?"

"Reminds me of the tunnels in Bodmin." I said, leaning over to get a better look.

"Tunnels in what?"

"Bodmin." I said, looking up and catching mainly blank looks. "It's um, a town in Cornwall but I was thinking more of Bodmin Jail. It's supposedly haunted but… this isn't really the time for a history lesson." I turned away, cheeks flushing. "Anyway, who's going down there?"

Everyone turned to look at Glenn.

"Oh. Great."

"We'll be right behind you." Andrea said.

"No, you won't. Not you."

"Why not me? Think I can't?"

"I wasn't…" Glenn trailed off, rubbing his face. Rick stepped forward.

"Speak your mind."

Glenn looked again into the tunnel and sighed.

"Look, until now I always came here by myself. In and out, grab and few things, no problem. The first time I bring a group…Everything goes to hell. No offense. If you want me to go down this gnarly hole, fine, but only if we do it my way."

Rick nodded.

"It's tight down there." Glenn continued. "If I run into something and have to move quick, I don't want you all jammed up behind me getting me killed. I'll take one person – not you either." He said to Rick. "You've got Merle's gun and I've seen you shoot. I'd feel better if you were out in that store watching those doors, covering our ass." He turned to Andrea and me. "You two have the only other guns, so you should go with him." To Morales. "You be my wingman. Jacqui stays here. Something happens, yell down to us, get us back up here in a hurry."

"Okay." The woman I now knew as Jacqui said.

"Okay, everybody knows their jobs." Rick said and we watched as Glenn and Morales descended into the darkness.

"What was all that about Bodmin?" Rick said with a smile. I rolled my eyes.

"Strange the things your mind can come up with in times of panic."

We returned to the main clothes area, largely ignoring the hoard battering at the doors. I thumbed through the array of clothing as Rick approached Andrea.

"Sorry for the gun in your face." She said, smiling lightly.

"People do things when they're afraid." He said, looking to me as if he were remembering how ready to kill him I had been when we'd first met. I smirked.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too." I said, drawing Andrea's attention. She smiled and nodded before turning back to Rick.

"Not that it was entirely unjustified. You did get us into this."

I rolled my eyes, grabbing a white vest and a blue button down, shoving them into my bag.

"If I get us out, would that make up for it?"

"No, but it'd be a start."

"Wow, you really hold a grudge, don't you?" I said, smiling to show I was teasing. She shook her head.

"Next time though, take the safety off." Rick said. "It won't shoot otherwise."

"Oh."

I almost outwardly laughed but managed to subdue it as I turned away. I found a pair of jeans and some new underwear and added that to my pack before rejoining them at the front of the store. Andrea was looking at a mermaid necklace and Rick had moved closer to the doors, watching the Walkers.

"That's pretty." I said. Andrea smiled.

"It's not my sort of thing, but I know someone who would love it."

"Who?" Rick said, leaning over my shoulder to get a look at it.

"My sister. She's still such a kid in some ways. Unicorns, dragons… She's into all that stuff. But mermaids…They rule. She loves them."

"My sister loved fairies when she was little." I said, smiling fondly. "She'd get so angry when I accidentally tore the wings she'd made for her Barbie's. I was the younger sibling, you see. Her daughter, my niece Riley, she loves Dragons more than anything."

My eyes stung at the thought of them and I sniffed, fighting back the cold despair in my heart. I turned to see Rick and Andrea staring at me with looks of clear pity. I shifted under the attention and folded my arms.

"Why don't you take it for her?" I asked.

"There's a cop right next to me." She joked and Rick chuckled. "Would it be considered looting?"

"I don't think those rules apply anymore." Rick said.

"Well that's good to know considering I've already stuffed an entire outfit into my bag."

They both laughed at my confession and there was a moment of levity that was typically ruined by the undead, as most things were these days.

The first layer of glass shattered and the walkers stumbled through. Rick drew his gun as Morales and Glenn raced back in. The Walkers piled against the second set of doors and they held – for now.

"What did you find down there?" I asked, resisting the urge to draw my gun. It would do no good while the doors held.

"Not a way out." Morales sighed.

"We need to find a way…and soon." Andrea said. Rick holstered his gun and started for the roof. Once back in the sun, Rick grabbed a pair of binoculars and peered through them, looking further up the road, beyond the hoard.

"See anything?" I asked, squinting in the same direction.

"That construction site, those trucks…" He said, pointing to a fenced off area further down. "They always keep keys on hand."

"You'll never make it past the walkers." Morales said.

"You got us out of the tank."

"Yeah, but they were feeding. They were distracted." Glenn said.

"Can we distract them again?"

"With what?" I asked.

"Listen to him." Merle yelled, adding his much required input. I briefly considered the benefit of gagging him. "He's onto something. A diversion, like on 'Hogan's Heroes'."

"God, give it a rest." Jacqui tutted.

"'Hogan's Heroes'?" I said, frowning but shaking my head. It was just another thing I didn't understand, but given Jacqui's reaction it was something rude.

"They're drawn by sound, right?" Rick said, ignoring Merle.

"Right." Glenn confirmed. "Like dogs. They hear a sound, they come."

"What else?"

"When I was with the soldiers we figured out they're attracted to light, like moths to a flame." I said.

"Fat lot of good that is in the middle of the damn day."Merle drawled, earning a glare from most of the group.

"It won't be day forever, asshole." I growled. "But I guess it would be a lottery, considering we're down to the final set of doors."

"Anything else?" Rick said.

"Aside from they hear you? They see you, smell you and if they catch you, they eat you." Morales said.

"They can tell us by smell?" Rick turned to me. I shrugged.

"Can't you?" Glenn said. Andrea nodded.

"They smell dead, we don't. It's pretty distinct."

"So we need to smell dead." I said, sharing a look with Rick as a plan began to form.


	5. Guts: Part 3

S1E2P3

 _Author's note: Thanks to everyone who is reading and enjoying my story! I'm really excited to lead Ava through the run of the show. Any reviews would be greatly appreciated! Let me know where you want the story to go :)_

* * *

"If bad ideas were an Olympic event, this would take the gold." Glenn said, staring forlornly at the freshly dispatched walker Rick and dragged in. Already the smell was hitting the back of my throat and I grimaced. We were all dressed in raincoats and Rick held an axe, ready to hack into the corpse at our feet.

"It's a good idea." I defended, frowning as I adjusted my gloves. "If they smell something alive, they swarm. Smell something dead and they just amble on."

"No, Glenn's right. Just stop, okay? Take some time to think this through." Morales said, looking as ill as everyone else.

"How much time? They already got through one set of doors, that glass won't hold forever." Rick pointed out.

He raised the axe, preparing to strike, but hesitated before dropping the axe and kneeling beside the body. He rifles through his pockets before finding a wallet.

"Wayne Dunlap." He said, pulling out the drivers licence. "Georgia license. Born in 1979. He had $28 in his pocket when he died…" He passed the licence to Glenn then pulled out a photo. "And a picture of a pretty girl. 'With love, from Rachel.' He used to be like us…Worrying about bills or the rent or the Super Bowl. If I ever find my family, I'm gonna tell them about Wayne."

I swallowed, trying not to look at the decomposed face and think of it in terms of being a person. At first that had been difficult, but after a week or so of being hounded by the dead, I'd started to see them as monsters, not people.

"One more thing." Glenn said, drawing our attention. "He was an organ donor."

Oh, the irony.

Rick brought the axe down and began hacking the corpse to pieces, exposing the rotting guts and an unbelievable stench that made my stomach buck and roil.

"Jesus Christ." I said, holding a hand to my face as my curse joined everyone else's. Rick handed the axe to Morales.

"Keep chopping."

"I'm so gonna hurl." Glenn said, groaning.

"Later." Was all Rick could say. "Everybody got gloves?" I lifted my hands for him to see. "Don't get any on your skin or in your eyes."

Everyone knelt hesitantly, grimacing at the muck. I dug my hands into the stomach cavity and groaned.

"Christ, it's so cold." I said, pulling a face as I lifted a handful and smeared it down Ricks' front. He looked slightly green as I went for another handful, pouring it over his shoulder. "Sorry." Was all I could say. He nodded.

"Oh God! Oh jeez. Oh, this is bad. This is really bad." Glenn said, squeezing his eyes shut as people rubbed guts over him. Andrea put a string of intestines around his neck and I almost hurled just at the thought.

"Think about something else." Rick suggested. "Puppies and kittens."

"Dead puppies and kittens." T-Dog muttered, loud enough for them to hear. Glenn immediately vomited.

"Really?" I groaned, looking at T-Dog.

"That was just evil. What is wrong with you?" Andrea said.

"Next time let the cracker beat his ass." Jacqui suggested.

"I'm sorry, yo."

"You suck." Glenn said, recovering.

"Do we smell like them?" Rick asked, jaw tense.

"Oh yeah. Glenn? Just in case." Andrea reached out and pulled aside a flap of the raincoat, tucking her gun into his trousers with her one ungloved hand.

"If we make it back be ready." Rick said.

"You better make it back. You've got a family to find." I said, patting his arm and grimacing at the piece of intestine that stuck to my hand. I quickly peeled it off and hooked it over his shoulder. Rick chuckled shortly, clenching his jaw against the stench.

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

"What about Merle Dixon?" T-Dog asked. As much as I disliked the idea of unchaining him, I knew it was necessary. We couldn't just leave him there. Rick pulled a glove off and reached into his trouser pocket, pulling out the key and throwing it to T-Dog. He then turned to Morales.

"Give me the axe." He said. "We need more guts."

Once sufficiently draped in body parts, Morales and I showed them out into the alley, which was sparsely populated by Walkers.

"Good luck." I said before Morales shut the door and we both legged it to the roof where the others were already waiting.

"Hey, what's happening, man?" Merle yelled, but I paid him no heed, grabbing the binoculars and searching the heard for Rick and Glenn.

"Hey, T-Dog, try that C.B." Morales said.

"Hey, come on. Talk to me, y'all."

"Base camp, this is T-Dog. Anybody hear me? Can anybody out there hear me?"

I ignored those on the roof, my pulse growing more and more frantic until I spotted them shuffling through the crowd without even a flinch from the Walkers.

"There!" I said, a grin pulling at my cheeks as I pointed them out to Morales. A growl of thunder rumbled above us and I looked to see a dark cloud spreading across the sky. "What the hell? Where did that come from?"

"That asshole is out on the street with the handcuff keys?" Merle said, sounding ready to spill blood. T-Dog reached into his pocket and showed Dixon the key, but I was more focused on the street.

"Hello, base camp! Can anybody out there hear me? Base camp, this is T-Dog. Anybody hear me?"

"Hello?" The walkie crackled and I spun around. "Hello? Receptions bad on this end. Repeat. Repeat." A man said.

"Shane, is that you? We're in some deep shit. We're trapped in the department store. There are geeks all over the place. Hundreds of them. We're surrounded."

I turned back to the street. Rick and Glenn were about halfway to the construction site now and I found it difficult to remember to breathe. Another clap of thunder made me jump and rain began to fall. I'd never seen the weather change like this.

"How the hell is it a thunderstorm? It was bright and sunny a few minutes ago." I said, cursing the weather for turning at the most inopportune moment.

"It's a cloudburst." Morales said. "We get them all the time. It'll pass real quick. You don't get them in England."

"Not like this. The weather is unpredictable but there tend to be signs. Or it just rains for days on end."

I continued to follow our friends down the street, mumbling prayers under my breath as the rain soaked through my clothes and theirs. I shivered.

They were only in the rain a few minutes before a Walker went for Rick. He dispatched it with an axe and I gasped as the Walkers riled at the action. Their cover was blown. I could do nothing but watch as they ran for their lives to the fence which was thankfully not too far away. Reaching it, they threw their weapons over and scrambled to climb, getting over just as the Walkers slammed against it.

I barely noticed how hard I was gripped the binoculars but my knuckles were white against the plastic. My heart hammered as I watched them throw off the raincoats and race to the truck.

Glenn ran to a building and grabbed something, presumably the keys, and threw them to Rick. I held my breath as a Walker climbed over the fence and began chasing them, slamming against the truck door just as Glenn closed it. I couldn't see them anymore, but the truck sprang to life and zoomed off in the opposite direction, disappearing from sight. I lowered the binoculars.

"They're leaving us." Andrea moaned.

"Where they going? Where they going?" Morales said, leaning over the wall to try and see them, but they were gone.

"No, no, come back."

"Relax." I said before they could fully break down. "They won't leave us. Rick will think of something."

"How well do you know this guy?" Andrea said, frowning at me.

"Okay I admit, I only met him today. But I'm a good judge of character and I trust him. He won't leave us and I'm pretty sure neither will Glenn." I turned back to the street, drumming my fingers on the wall as I waited for them to return. I'd put my trust in Rick. Now I would find out if that trust was well placed.

A few minutes later the walkie crackled to life and Glenn's voice came through.

"Those roll-up doors at the front of the store facing the street. Meet us there and be ready."

As soon as the words were processed, the group sprung into action, grabbing bags and flying down the stairs. I grabbed a bag from Andrea and helped them as we ran, making sure to keep up with the people who knew where the roll-up shutters were. My heart was racing as we all piled into the shop floor, pausing long enough to see the interior shop doors crack and give way. Walkers spilled into the shop and my stomach dropped. Gone was any conscious thought. I just ran with the others, desperate to get to safety.

Andrea and Morales grabbed the chain as I piled the bags by the shutters.

"Okay, I got it." Andrea said but was shushed by Morales. We listened, frowning, as what sounded like a car alarm grew louder and louder.

Before I could offer to help with the chain, T-Dog joined us, panting heavily.

Two loud bangs echoed through the shutters and Andrea and Morales pulled them open, revealing Rick in the back of the truck. I grabbed two of the bags and threw them in, Rick catching them as I did. As soon as everything was inside we scrambled in after, the sounds of the dead following us. I scooted closer to the front to give the others room and Morales jumped in last.

"I'm in." He yelled, dragging the back down as the Walkers reached out to him.

I sighed, raising a shaky hand to my face as the truck thundered away.

"I dropped the damn key." T-Dog said, looking down. No one had anything to say to that but I couldn't help feeling guilty for not even thinking of the handcuffed man. Once Glenn had told us where to be it was all that mattered. I swallowed, using the back of a chair to pull myself up and all but fell into the seat in front. Rick glanced at me.

"You alright?"

"Once my heart stops doing somersaults I'll let you know."

He smiled and nodding, focusing his attention on the road.

"Where's Glenn?" Andrea asked. Not long after the piercing alarm echoed closer and closer, eventually joined by music and Glenns' joyous whoops. I watched him wave his arm out of the car as he overtook and smirked.

"At least someone's having a good day."


	6. Tell it to the frogs: Part 1

S1E3P1

"Best not dwell on it." Morales said, leaning between the two of us. Rick's jaw tensed and I looked away. I felt a coward for not even thinking of Merle Dixon when we fled. I should have stopped to help. "Merle got left behind. Nobody's gonna be sad he didn't come back…Except maybe Daryl."

"Daryl?"

"His brother."

I closed my eyes, rubbing my head as Morales ducked away into the back. I knew what it was like to be torn away from siblings and couldn't fight the overwhelming guilt I felt for making someone else feel the same way.

"You shouldn't blame yourself. I'm the one who cuffed him."

"You had good reason to cuff him, Rick. There was no good reason for me to completely forget about him."

"Apart from the hoard of Walkers that came too damn close to eating you?"

I shook my head but returned the reassuring smile he gave me.

"Thanks for saving us." I said, hoping to distract myself from Merle.

"You're welcome." Rick smiled. "What's your plan now?"

I shrugged.

"Guess I'll see what the camp's like. It'll be the first time I've seen a big group of people in this world. It'll be interesting to see what it's like. Whether I stay or not is another issue. I probably won't, just because I have to find Luke and Hailey."

"I get that. I'll stay long enough to make things right but I won't stop till I find my family."

I nodded, fiddling with the laces on my boots and retying the knot that had grown loose.

"I'll probably leave with you." I said. "Can't be alone in this world, like you said. And it'll be safer to travel in a pair."

"Well, I'd appreciate the company." He said with a smile.

As we continued back to the camp, Rick's mood, though improved after our short conversation, steadily worsened. I knew he was blaming himself for Merle as much as I was. He was the type of guy to take responsibility for everything, to be the one to step up and take action. I'd seen as much in Atlanta. Whether I found my family or not, I hoped to stay with him. A man like Rick was a good one to have around.

By the time we arrived, Glenn was already there and the alarm was dead. Rick killed the engine as Morales leaned forward and clapped him on the arm.

"Come meet everybody."

Rick sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. You go ahead."

Sensing he needed a minute, I obliged and ambled around the truck. Andrea was tightly hugging another blonde girl, the two of them crying. I smiled, assuming this was her sister, and came to Glenns' side. Morales walked off with a woman and two children clasped to him. Any sad thoughts disappeared at the display of joy, though I felt a twinge of sorrow as I imagined reuniting with my family as they did theirs.

"Who's this?" A man with dark curly hair said, eying me suspiciously.

"This is Ava. She helped us get out." Glenn said.

I offered the people looking at me a smile and saw a few gazes soften.

"She's how you got out of there?" The curly-haired man said.

"Her and the new guy."

"New guy?"

"Yeah, crazy Vato just got into town." Morales said, still hugging his family. "Hey, helicopter boy! Come say hello. He's a cop like you."

The curly mans' face turned to one of disbelief as he saw Rick come out from behind the sports car. I turned to Rick and saw his expression shift into shock. His eyes teared up.

"Oh my god." He said, eyes fixed on something behind me. I turned as a little boy raced away from his mother, crying out to Rick and calling him dad.

My face pulled into a grin as Rick caught Carl and fell to the ground with him, sobbing as he picked him up. He pressed a kiss to his cheek before moving towards Lori, who stared at him as if she thought he would disappear at any second. They embraced, the three of them: a family reunited. It seemed the only one without such joy was me.

My grin fell a little as my heart clenched. I tried not to feel disappointed. It was incredible that Rick had found his family, but I couldn't help but note this probably meant I'd have to go it alone when I continued after my family. The thought of being alone again made me want to cry.

Rick shared a look with the curly-haired cop, someone I presumed he knew from before, and the family came apart. He caught my eye and I grinned, tears in my eyes. He smiled back.

They went off for some time alone at first and I got introduced to the group, learning the other cop was called Shane, Andrea's sister was called Amy and the older man was called Dale. There was another man called Jim and Dale pointed out a family who kept to themselves: Ed, Carol and Sophia.

I was surprised at how many people lived in one place and slightly unnerved by all the open places the dead could come in, but Dale assured me it wasn't a problem.

"The Walkers don't come this far up the mountain. So long as we keep things quiet and the fires low, we have no problems."

I nodded, uneasy. I'd certainly be keeping my dagger close.

"I don't suppose you have somewhere I can wash up? I've been on the road for weeks."

"No offense, but we can tell." Andrea said, grinning. She was much more easy-going now she was back with her sister. I laughed.

"Cheers."

"I'll show you the quarry if you want?"

I nodded and Andrea first took me into the RV to grab one of her towels and even some shampoo. I cradled the bottle like it was made of gold. As we passed the front of the RV I paused, seeing Dale and Jim poking around at the engine.

"Problems?" I asked. Dale nodded.

"So many."

"I could have a look later if you wanted? I was a mechanic before the world went to shit."

Dale and Jim exchanged a look and Dale started to laugh.

"You're a God-send, girl."

"Sounds like you're going to be popular." Andrea said.

She led me down to the quarry and warned me not to be too long as the sun was setting. I thanked her and wasted no time in undressing, setting out the clothes from the department store ready for when I came out.

The water was slightly warm from the hot day and I groaned as I grabbed a rag from my bag and rubbed a pea-sized amount of shampoo over my body. I even took the time to shave, untied my hair and worked my fingers through it. It took a while to get it knot-free and the sky was already dimming, but I quickly massaged shampoo through my locks and washed out the suds.

Clean for the first time in weeks, I emerged and dried, dressing in new clothes with a grin on my face: new underwear, new socks, the only thing I had to keep wearing were the boots.

I packed my dirty clothes into my bag and set off back to camp, rubbing my hair with the towel as I emerged from the tree-line. Everyone had gathered around the fire to eat, the glow the only light now the sun was gone.

"We were beginning to wonder if you'd drowned." Glenn joked. I shook my head, grinning, and whipped the end of the towel at him. Andrea laughed and took the towel from me when I asked where I should put it.

I joined Andrea and Amy by the fire and smiled at Rick who had his arms wrapped around his family. Glenn served me some food and I thanked him, scarfing it down. Rick continued the conversation I'd interrupted.

"Disorientated." He said. "I guess that comes closest. Disorientated. Fear, confusion…all those things but…Disorientated comes closest."

"Words can be meagre things." Dale said, smiling around the circle. "Sometimes they fall short."

I couldn't agree more. The grief and pain I felt at the loss of my family was indescribable.

"I felt like I had been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else. For a while I thought I was trapped in some coma dream, something I might not wake up from ever."

"Mum said you died."

Rick exchanged a look with Lori.

"She had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt it."

"When things started to get really bad, they told me at the hospital that they were going to medevac you and the other patients to Atlanta, and it never happened." Lori said.

"Well, I'm not surprised after Atlanta fell."

"Yeah."

"And from the look of that hospital, it got overrun."

"Yeah, looks don't deceive." Shane said, digging a stick in the fire. "I barely got them out, you know?"

Rick tightened his grip on his family.

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane. I can't begin to express it."

Dale chuckled.

"There go those words falling short again. Paltry things."

We all nodded in agreement and I scraped the last of the food from my bowl, licking the spoon clean before putting it down. I flushed when I noticed them all staring at me.

"When was the last time you ate?" Glenn asked. I shrugged.

"Had a cereal bar earlier today. I found a load of them in the boot of someone's car a few days ago so I've been living on those."

"I wish I could live on cereal bars."Carl said, snuggling closer to his dad. I smiled.

"I didn't think…" Rick said. "I didn't think to ask you about any of that: how you've been living, how you escaped those men."

Their bodies flashed through my head and I cleared my throat.

"Well, I don't really want to talk about them. And it's fine. I can take care of myself."

He nodded, but still looked troubled. I raked my fingers through my damp hair, bringing it forward so it had more exposure to the heat of the fire. Up closer to the RV, Ed put a log on the fire.

"Hey Ed," Shane called. "You want to rethink that log?"

"It's cold, man."

"The cold don't change the rules, does it? Keep out fires low, just embers so we can't be seen from a distance, right?"

Sensible. Mention of the cold made me notice it more and I shivered, taking off my bag and unhooking the trench coat. I wrapped it around myself and sighed.

"I said it's cold." Ed continued. "You should mind your own business for once."

This wasn't going to end well. Shane stood and walked over to the other fire.

"Hey, Ed… Are you sure you want to have this conversation, man?"

Ed looked at Shane and sighed.

"Go on." He said, looking at Carol. "Pull the damn thing out. Go on!"

Carol stood obligingly and pulled the burning log from the flames. Shane stamped on it until it smouldered out. I scowled at Ed, beginning to understand why he was at a different fire from the rest of us.

"Hey, Carol, Sophia. How are y'all this evening?" Shane asked.

"Fine. We're just fine. I'm sorry about the fire."

"No, no. No apology needed. Y'all have a good night, okay?"

"Thank you."

Shane returned, looking as pissed as I was about the whole situation. He sat down and an awkward silence fell.

"Have you given much thought to Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind." Dale said.

I almost preferred the awkward silence. A wave of guilt made my newly full belly fell uncomfortable.

"I'll tell him." T-Dog said. "I dropped the key. It's on me."

"I cuffed him. That makes it mine." Rick argued.

"Guys." Glenn said. "It's not a competition. I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy."

Great. Daryl Dixon was as bad as his brother, not that I suspected anything else.

"I did what I did. Hell if I'm gonna hide from him."

"We could lie." Amy suggested.

"Or tell the truth." Andrea said. "Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he'd have gotten us killed. Your husband did what was necessary. And if Merle got left behind, it is nobody's fault but Merle's."

"And that's what we tell Daryl?" Dale said. "I don't see a rational discussion to be had from that, do you? Word to the wise…We're gonna have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt."

"I was scared and I ran. I'm not ashamed of it." T-Dog said. Andrea frowned.

"We were all scared. We all ran. What's your point?"

"I stopped long enough to chain that door. Staircase is narrow. Maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it at any one time. It's not enough to break through that…Not that chain, not that padlock. My point…Dixon's alive and he's still up there, handcuffed on that roof. That's on us."

Everyone took this in with an air of guilt, especially those of us who had been there. I looked at the fire, glancing up in time to catch Rick's eyes on me and I knew, I just knew that we were thinking the same thing.

"God dammit." I muttered under my breath.


	7. Tell it to the frogs: Part 2

_Author note: So Rick's found his family! What will Ava do now? Will she stay with the group or move on?_

* * *

S1E3P2

I slept like the dead – a phrase I realised didn't really apply anymore. I woke feeling refreshed and calm for the first time since the outbreak.

I had a small breakfast since I was used to having none and thanked Carol when I noticed she had cleaned my old clothes. I saw Lori as I went to see if Dale needed help with the car and smiled at her. She smiled back.

"Need a hand, Dale?" I said, watching as they began to strip the car. He nodded and asked if I could disassemble the engine for spare parts.

I was half-way through when I noticed Glenn and Rick watching.

"Look at them. Vultures." Glenn muttered. "Yeah, go on, strip it clean."

I wiped my hands on a rag and turned to lean against the car.

"Generators need every drop of fuel they can get. Got no power without it. Sorry, Glenn." Dale said, shrugging as he walked off with a fuel canister.

"Thought I'd get to drive it at least a few more days."

"Maybe we'll get to steal another one someday." Rick said, patting him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, think about it Glenn." I said, trying to get the grease from under my nails. "No one's paying attention to their fancy sports cars anymore. There're probably more of them than people. We could get you the most expensive Lamborghini ever."

Glenn grinned.

"Hey Ava, where'd you sleep? Not outside again?" Rick asked. I was beginning to suspect he was worrying about me, which I found odd since I'd only known him a day, but I appreciated the gesture.

"I slept in the RV with Dale, Andrea and Amy."

"Where?" Glenn frowned, clearly aware of the limited space.

"The floor. Dale tried to give me his bed but I wouldn't have it. The floor was a huge improvement to what I was used to, anyway." I smiled. Rick nodded and patted Glenn on the shoulder again before moving off towards his wife.

Shortly after, as I finished with the engine, Shane hurtled into camp in a Jeep.

"Water's here, y'all. Just a reminder to boil before use." He said, jumping out.

Glenn went to grab a bottle and I followed, grabbing another and setting it by the RV. I was about to ask where they boiled it when a scream echoed from the forest. Everyone jumped into action, racing for the forest. Rick and Lori called for Carl while Carol screamed for Sophia: the children. Why did it have to be the children?

I tore through the trees without a thought to the others. The kids ran straight to their parents while the men continued on to the threat. I got there slightly before the others, halting as I took in the walker that was tearing a deer apart.

It ripped at its throat, chowing down on the meat. So much for Walkers not coming up the mountain.

Rick, Shane, Morales, Glenn and Dale came into the clearing, Andrea and Amy not far behind. Andrea covered her mouth and turned away, taking Amy with her. Rick and the others prepared themselves to fight as the Walker stood, but before they could pounce on it I pushed past Glenn and stepped between the Walkers reaching arms, forcing my dagger through its jaw. The tip of the blade exploded out of the its skull.

I pulled back and the body dropped.

"Never seen a knife like that." Glenn said.

"Military."

"You're military."

"No." Unwilling to elaborate, I grabbed my grease rag and cleaned off the blade before sheathing it.

"It's the first one we've had up here. They never come this far up the mountain." Dale said, staring at the body in shock.

"Well, they're running out of food in the city, that's what." Jim said.

A branch snapped in the distance and Shane turned his gun on it, the group preparing to deal with another Walker but it was a man, not a corpse that emerged.

"Oh, Jesus." Dale said and I quickly assumed that this was the other Dixon.

"Son of a bitch." Daryl said, stepping into the clearing. "That's my dear! Look at it. All gnawed on by this…" He started kicking the corpse. "Filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastard."

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Calm down, son. That's not helping." Dale said.

"What do you know about it, old man? Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to 'on the golden pond'?" Yet another reference I didn't get. "I've been tracking this deer for miles. Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison. What do you think? Do you think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?"

He gestured to the neck with his knife, but Shane shook his head.

"I would not risk that."

"That's a damn shame." He sighed, standing. "I got some squirrel…about a dozen or so. That'll have to do."

He stormed off past the group, giving me a good look at the string of squirrels tied and hooked over his shoulder. Over his other shoulder was a wicked looking crossbow. Rick and I exchanged a look, knowing what was coming as we headed back to camp.

"Merle! Merle, get your ugly ass out here. I got us some squirrel."

"Daryl, just slow up a bit. I need to talk to you." Shane said as we reached the RV. Daryl turned back, beginning to twig something was up.

"About what?"

"About Merle. There was a problem in Atlanta."

There was a beat of silence.

"He dead?"

"We're not sure."

"He either is or he ain't!" He yelled, starting to pace. Rick stepped forward, drawing Daryls' attention.

"No easy way to say this, so I'll just say it."

"Who are you?"

"Rick Grimes."

"Rick Grimes, you got something you want to tell me?" Daryl said, getting up in his face. I tensed.

"Your brother was a danger to us all, so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there."

Daryl spluttered and began to pace again, his temper growing from a simmer to a boil. I wracked my brain for something to do should he flip, but hand to hand combat wasn't my forte.

"Hold on." He said. "Let me process this. You're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and you left him there?!"

"Yeah." Rick said.

Daryl took only a moment before throwing the string of squirrels at Rick as he lunged. Rick ducked and managed to avoid the attack. He pulled a knife.

"Hey, watch the knife!" T-Dog called.

Shane jumped in and put Daryl into a headlock.

"You best let me go!"

"Nah, I think it's better if I don't."

"Choke hold's illegal." Daryl pointed out.

"You can file a complaint. Come on, man. We'll keep this up all day."

Rick knelt down before Daryl and looked him in the eye.

"I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic. Do you think we can manage that?"

"Mmhm." Daryl said and Shane released his hold.

"What I did was not on a whim. Your brother does not work and play well with others."

"It's not Ricks' fault. I had the key. I dropped it." T-Dog said.

"You couldn't pick it up?"

"Well, I dropped it in a drain."

Daryl looked down, suppressing a sob as he stood.

"If it's supposed to make me feel better, it don't." He growled, sniffing and rubbing his eyes as he turned away from us.

"Well, maybe this will." Daryl turned back to T-Dog. "Look, I chained the door to the roof so the geeks couldn't get to him. With a padlock."

"It's gotta count for something." Rick said.

Daryl was quiet for a moment. I knew the pain he was wrestling with and was glad at least that this Dixon was not as bad as the other.

"To hell with all of y'all! Just tell me where he is so that I can go get him."

"He'll show you." Lori said, surprising everyone. "Isn't that right?"

Rick looked down a moment before nodding.

"I'm going back."

Lori went into the RV as if she were upset he said it. I could understand her reluctance considering he'd only just come back, but then why suggest he go? She practically gave him permission.

It seemed obvious that they would take the truck we'd stolen from Atlanta, so I went to Ricks' tent and called out to him. When he came out it became obvious that he had been changing. He was back in his uniform trousers and wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Sorry." I said, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I was just going to take a look at the truck, make sure it won't break down on us."

"Us?" Rick cocked a brow.

"Yeah, I'm coming too."

Rick nodded.

"I was going ask for your assistance." He admitted. "You're a good one to have in a fix."

I smiled at the compliment and asked for the keys. He ducked back into the tent for a moment before chucking them out to me.

"See you in a bit."

"Yeah, see you." I said, turning back to the truck.

I unlocked it and popped the hood, peering at the components with a critical eye. Before giving it a thorough examination, I reached back and plaited my hair. It was reaching the bottom of my shoulder blades now and I made a mental note to try and cut it at some point.

"The hell you doing?"

I jumped, turning to see Daryl Dixon staring at me suspiciously.

"I'm checking the engine. I was a mechanic before the outbreak so I know what I'm doing."

He nodded, still frowning at me.

"Who are you?"

"My name's Ava. I was with Rick when he got to Atlanta."

"So your one of those who left my brother behind?" he growled.

I looked back at the engine, sighing.

"I'm not proud of it, but yes. As much as your brother is an ass – no offense – no one deserves to be left there to die."

He grunted in reply and climbed into the truck, moving to the back. I heard the door slide open and returned to the engine. After finding it in good shape, I shut the bonnet and turned back to camp.


	8. Tell it to the frogs: Part 3

S1E3P3

As we prepared to go, Rick approached in his sheriffs' uniform and Shane followed close behind. They were having a heated conversation which carried as they reached the front of the RV.

"…could you just…could you just throw me a bone here, man?" Shane was saying. I didn't need to hear the beginning to this conversation to know he was not impressed with Rick's decision. "Could you just tell me why? Why would you risk your life for a douche bag like Merle Dixon?"

"Hey, choose your words more carefully." Daryl warned.

"No, I did. Douche bag's what I meant. Merle Dixon… The guy wouldn't give you a glass of water if you were dying of thirst."

"What he would or wouldn't do doesn't interest me. I can't let a man die of thirst. Me. Thirst and exposure. We left him like an animal caught in a trap. That's no way for anything to die, let alone a human being." Rick said.

"So you and Daryl." Lori said, sounding annoyed. "That's your big plan?"

"I'm going as well." I said.

"Oh great, you're taking our mechanic." Shane threw his arms up in frustration and I scowled it his assumption that I was theirs. I still wasn't sure if I was staying. "Anyone else you want to risk?"

Rick sighed, looking across at Glenn.

"Oh, come on." He groaned.

"You know the way. You've been there before. In and out, no problem. You said so yourself. It's not fair to ask, I know that, but I'd feel a lot better with you along. I know she would too." Rick said, gesturing to Lori.

"That's just great. Now you're gonna risk four people, huh?"

"Five." T-Dog said, stepping forward with a bag. Daryl huffed.

"My day just gets better and better, don't it?"

"You see anybody else here stepping up to save your brother's cracker ass?" T-Dog retorted.

"Why you?"

"You wouldn't even begin to understand. You don't speak my language."

"That's five." Dale said.

"It's not just five." Shane said, rubbing his head, clearly frustrated by Ricks' determination. "You're putting every single one of us at risk. Just know that, Rick. Come one, you saw the Walker. It was here. It was in camp. They're moving out of the cities. They come back, we need every able body we've got. We need them here. We need them to protect camp."

He had a point, but there wasn't a chance in hell that I was going to leave Merle on that roof. Besides, it seemed to me that the camp had to start thinking of moving on, but I didn't mention it. I could bring it up when we got back from Atlanta.

"It seems to me," Rick said, unfazed by Shane's words. "That what you really need most here are more guns."

"Of course!" I exclaimed. "I'd completely forgotten about that bag."

"Wait. What guns?" Shane said, looking between us.

"Six shotguns, two high-powered rifles, over a dozen handguns. I cleaned out the cage back at the station before I left. We dropped the bag in Atlanta when we got swarmed. It's just sitting there on the street, waiting to be picked up."

"Ammo?" Shane said, intrigued.

"700 rounds, assorted."

Shane rubbed his head, clearly torn between wanting Rick to stay and wanting those guns.

"You went through hell to find us." Lori said from the campfire. Carl was sat beside her, looking worried. "You just got here and you're going to turn around and leave?"

"Dad, I don't want you to go."

Rick looked down and I began to resent Lori for making this so hard for him. I could understand the fear of losing him again, but why prompt him to leave if she was going to argue this strongly for him to stay?

"To hell with the guns. Shane is right. Merle Dixon? He's not worth one of your lives, even with the guns thrown in."

Rick moved towards her as her eyes filled with tears.

"Tell me. Make me understand."

"I owe a debt to a man I met and his little boy." Rick said. "Lori, if they hadn't taken me in, I'd have died. It's because of them that I made it back to you at all. They said they'd follow me to Atlanta. They'll walk into the same trap I did if I don't warn him."

"What's stopping you?"

"The walkie-talkie, the one in the bag we dropped. He's got the other one. Our plan was to connect when they got closer."

"These our walkies?" Shane asked.

"Yeah."

He rubbed his jaw.

"So use the CB." Andrea said. "What's wrong with that?"

"The CB's fine." Shane sighed. "It's the walkies that suck to crap. Date back to the '70s, don't match any other bandwidth…not even the scanners in our cars."

"I need that bag, okay?"

"Alright." Lori said, though she sounded far from happy about it. I folded my arms and leant against the body of Glenn's car. Rick knelt down before his son.

"Okay?"

Carl nodded, putting on a brave face and Rick patted him on the head. After that everything was a go. Rick pointed out that we needed bolt-cutters and I managed to convince Dale to let me borrow his in return for the trucks' radiator hose when we got back.

"Come on, let's go!" Daryl yelled, pressing on the horn. I rolled my eyes at him and turned to Rick, who gave me a nod before Shane stopped him.

"Hey, Rick, got any rounds in the python?"

"No."

"Last time we were in the gun range, I'm sure I would up with a few loose rounds of yours." He said, placing his bag in the back of the truck. I sat on the other side, checking my bag for supplies. I still had three cereal bars to keep me going and I'd re-filled my water bottle. I checked the Buretta Rick had given me. Still 14 rounds left and I had my dagger. I was set.

"You and that bag…" Rick chuckled as Shane rooted around inside it. "Like the bottom of an old Lady's purse."

Shane sighed.

"I hate that you're doing this, man. I think it's foolish and reckless. But if you're going to go, you're taking bullets."

"I'm not sure I'd want to fire a shot in the city, not after what happened last time." Rick said.

"That's up to you." He said, opening his palm to reveal five rounds. "Well… five men, five rounds. What are the odds, huh?" There was an awkward pause in which I zipped up my bag and chucked it back into the truck. "Well, let's just hope that five is your lucky number, okay?"

"Thank you."

"Alright."

Shane walked in and Rick climbed into the truck. I took a moment to look back on the camp, marvelling at how these people had banded together despite obvious tensions and were surviving despite everything.

"Hey."

I blinked, looking up. Rick held his hand out to me and pulled me up when I took it.

"Sorry. I was daydreaming."

"No worries."

Rick, T-Dog and I sat in the back while Glenn drove. Conversation was sparse, but as the truck rumbled away from the quarry Rick asked me something that had been playing on my mind for a while.

"Are you still planning on leaving?"

"What? Why would you leave?" T-Dog frowned.

"Rick wasn't the only one looking for his family in Atlanta. My brother and sister and niece were going there. I still have to find them."

"So you're leaving?" Glenn said, looking over his shoulder. I was touched by how disappointed he sounded. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I want to find them but I have no idea where to look next. My brother doesn't know anything about America and Hailey had nowhere but her flat, which was overrun."

"I was going to say." Rick said, looking reluctant to speak his mind. "That the chances of you just stumbling upon them are low."

"You mean like you did?" I pointed out and he chuckled.

"Fair enough, but you get what I mean." I nodded. "It'd be dangerous for you to go off alone."

"I'll think about it when we get back." I sighed.

When we got to Atlanta, Glenn stopped the truck on some railway tracks and we all piled out the back.

"He'd better be okay." Daryl warned.

"It's my only word on the matter. I told you the geeks can't get at him. The only thing that's going to get through that door is us." T-Dog said.

We walked up the tracks for a while, then cut through a fence and passed into Atlanta.

"Merle first or guns?" Rick asked.

"Merle! We ain't even having this conversation." Daryl growled, storming ahead.

"We are." Rick said, turning to Glenn. "You know the geography. It's your call."

"Merle's closest. The guns would mean doubling back. Merle first."

With the decision made we crept through the city, avoiding the dead and having an incredibly easy journey compared to the chaos of the day before. Had it really only been a day?

We got back to the department store and went onto the shop floor which was ransacked after the walkers had pushed through. There was only one walker, a female one shuffling amongst the racks.

"Damn. You are one ugly skank." Daryl said, shooting it with his crossbow. He pulled the arrow back out before we continued up to the roof.

All the walkers had cleared out and we met no trouble as we came to the still chained door. T-Dog cut the chains with the bolt cutters and Daryl pushed past and out onto the roof. He called out for his brother, but got no replay. It was too quiet. At first I thought he was dead, especially when Daryl began to sob his brothers' name, but then I saw what he had.

We stared in mute shock at the severed hand lying beneath the bloodied handcuffs.


	9. Vatos: Part 1

S1E4P1

We all stared at the severed hand, stumped as to what to do next until Daryl turned on T-Dog, crossbow raised. Rick pulled out his Python and held it to Daryl's head.

"I won't hesitate." He said. "I don't care if every walker in the city hears it."

Daryl hesitated a second longer, but lowered the crossbow, blinking back tears. I released a breath I hadn't noticed I was holding.

"You got a do-rag or something?" He asked, and T-Dog handed him a blue headscarf. Daryl went over to the already-decaying hand and we watched in silence as he appraised the situation.

"I guess the saw blade was too dull for the handcuffs. Ain't that a bitch." He muttered, picking up the hand and wrapping it in the scarf. He took it to Glenn and grabbed his bag, putting it inside much to Glenn's disgust.

"He must have used a tourniquet…" Daryl continued. "Maybe his belt. Be much more blood if he didn't."

He started moving down the roof, following a trickle of blood leading from the handcuffs. We all exchanged a look before following, T-Dog taking a moment to retrieve Dale's tools left behind with Merle.

Daryl led us to another staircase and as we went into it he leaned over the railing, looking down to the bottom.

"Merle? You in here?" He yelled, and I flinched, resisting the urge to tell him to be quiet. It would only cause more issues. I planted my hand firmly around the dagger at my waist as we continued.

Eventually we went out onto what looked like an office floor, abandoned but for the two recently dispatched walkers on the floor.

"Had enough in him to take out these two sonovabitches. One handed." Daryl stopped to pull the string of his crossbow back up. "Toughest asshole I ever met, my brother. Feed him a hammer, he'd crap out nails."

"Thanks for that wonderful image." I wrinkled my nose.

"Any man can pass out from blood loss, no matter how tough he is." Rick said, raising his Python as he moved further into the office. At this point I drew my dagger, just to be prepared. I held it up in front of me in case anything jumped out as we kept moving through the floor.

"Merle!" Daryl yelled again. I bit my lip but Rick wasn't so willing to let him do whatever he wanted.

"We're not alone here. Remember?" He said.

"Screw that. He could be bleeding out, you said it yourself."

I sighed but no one said anything else. We kept following the blood trail until we came across a kitchen area with a stove lit and burning. A bloodied belt was coiled beside the flames. Rick picked up a piece of metal covered in blood and burnt flesh.

"Christ." I said, rubbing my chin.

"What's all that burnt stuff?" Glenn asked.

"Skin." Rick said. "He cauterised the stump."

Glenn looked slightly sick.

"Told you he was tough. Nobody can kill Merle but Merle."

"Don't take that on faith. He's lost a lot of blood."

"Yeah?" Daryl said, moving to the back of the kitchen, to the windows. "Didn't stop him from busting out of this death trap."

"He left the building? Why the hell would he do that?" Glenn exclaimed. We all headed to the window, which was completely shattered in one pane.

"Why wouldn't he? He's out there alone as far as he knows, doing what he's got to do. Surviving."

Rick and I leaned forward and peered out of the window. A bloodied rag sat on the window sill and a fire escape was not that far below. He was gone.

"You call that surviving?" T-Dog said. "Just wandering out in the streets, maybe passing out? What are his odds out there?"

"No worse than being handcuffed and left to rot by you sorry pricks." Daryl spat, scowling at them. I rolled my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"You couldn't kill him." He said to Rick. "Ain't so worried about some dumb dead bastard."

"What about 1000 dead dumb bastards? Different story?"

"Why don't you take a tally? Do what you want. I'm gonna go get him." Daryl moved to duck through the window but Rick pushed him back.

"Get your hands off me! You can't stop me."

"I don't blame you. He's family, I get that. Ava get's that. I went through hell to find mine and she's still looking." He said, pointing to me. Daryl gave me what I could have sworn was a sympathetic look, but I could have been imagining things. "We know exactly how you feel. He can't get far with that injury. We could help you check a few blocks around but only if we keep a level head."

Daryl nodded at Rick.

"I could do that."

With a fight averted, I forced myself to relax and sheathed my knife. Rick turned to us questioningly. T-Dog sighed.

"Only if we get those guns first. I'm not strolling the streets of Atlanta with just my good intentions, okay?"

Rick agreed and we began to make a plan to retrieve the guns.

"You're not doing this alone." Rick said.

"Even I think it's a bad idea and I don't even like you that much."

Glenn scowled at Daryl.

"It's a good idea, okay, if you just hear me out. If we go out there in a group, we're slow, drawing attention. If I'm alone, I can move fast." He turned to the map on the floor, drawn out with a black marker pen.

"Look. That's the tank, five blocks from where we are now." He put a clip on the map. "That's the bag of guns." He added a balled-up post-it note. "Here's the alley I dragged you into when we first met. That's where Daryl and I will go."

"Why me?"

"Your crossbow is quieter than his gun. In fact, Ava should probably be there too. She's good with the knife. Now, while they wait in the alley, I run up the street, grab the bag."

"You got us elsewhere?" Rick said, unwilling to sit back and wait. Glenn pointed further down the street.

"You and T-Dog, right. You'll be in this alley here."

"Two blocks away? Why?"

"I may not be able to come back the same way. Walkers might cut me off. If that happens, I won't go back to Daryl and Ava. I'll go forward instead, all the way around to that alley where you guys are. Whichever direction I go, I've got two of you in both places to cover me. Afterwards, we'll all meet back here."

It was a good plan, if unnerving because of the fact that we were all splitting up.

"Hey, kid, what'd you do before all this?" Daryl asked.

"Delivered pizzas. Why?"

I smirked.

"Who would've thought pizza delivery would be an important skill at the end of the world – no offense."

"None taken." Glenn said.

We left the building, taking to the alleys running behind the blocks before separating into our two groups.

"Be careful." Rick told us.

"You too."

Once we got to our alleyway, Daryl loaded his crossbow and I drew my dagger, prepared. Glenn was clearly agitated but handled it well, pulling off his baseball shirt so he was just in a black T-shirt.

"You got some balls for a Chinaman."

"I'm Korean." Glenn retorted.

"Whatever."

I rolled my eyes and Glenn ran out of the alleyway, Daryl and I ducking behind a dumpster for cover.

"You know, Daryl. I think that was almost a compliment."

"Shut up."

I chuckled, but jerked around as Daryl darted out from cover, pointing the crossbow down the alley. I stood and saw a young man in a tank top.

"Whoa, don't shoot me! What do you want?"

"Relax-" I started, but Daryl cut across.

"I'm looking for my brother. He's hurt real bad. You seen him?"

The kid yelled something down the alley and I tensed.

"Shut up!" I hissed, looking at the alley entrance for any Walkers.

"You're gonna bring the geeks down on us." Daryl said. "Answer me."

As the kid continued to yell, Daryl knocked him over and clamped a hand over his mouth. I moved away from the alley entrance and knelt by his side.

"Kid, shut up! We're not going to hurt you just be quiet!"

But he wasn't listening. He twisted beneath Daryl until two men came out of nowhere and kicked him aside. Hands grabbed me and I hit out as I was slammed against a wall. I heard the man cry out in pain and saw the dagger had dragged a line across his chest. It wasn't deep, but it was bleeding heavily.

"That's the bag, Vato. Take it, take it!" The guy holding me threw me hard into the wall. My head bounced against brick and everything went fuzzy, pain throbbing through my skull.

"Get off me! Get off me!"

It was Glenn. I tried to turn to him but sunk to the ground instead, touching the tender spot on the back of my head. I heard the engine of a car.

"Come back here, you sonovabitches!" Daryl yelled. I looked up to see him pull the gate shut as walkers piled against it. I groaned. Rick and T-Dog pounded up the alley as Daryl turned on the young man. Rick got between them.

"Whoa, whoa, stop it." He said.

"I'm gonna kick your nuts up in your throat!"

"Let me go." The kid said, but T-Dog held him against the wall, telling him to chill out.

With Daryl no longer trying to kill the kid, Rick knelt beside me.

"You okay?"

"I hit my head. It hurts like a bitch but I think I'm okay." I said, accepting his hand as he helped me up. I swayed as the pain intensified, but Rick grabbed my arms and steadied me.

"Alright?"

"Yeah, I'm steady. What happened? Where's Glenn?" I said, looking around. The bag of guns was by the dumpster.

"They took Glenn. That little bastard and his little bastard homie friends. I'm gonna stomp your ass!"

"Guys!" T-Dog yelled, pointing to the steadily building clump of the dead. "We're cut off."

"Get to the office block, go!" Rick said.

T-Dog nodded and grabbed the kids arm, dragging him back down the alley. Rick grabbed the bag of guns, hooking it over his shoulder before hesitating as he spotted his hat on the ground as well. Glenn must have picked it up for him. He grabbed it and put it on, his hand hovering at my back as we ran, as if he thought I would fall.

We had the guns, but we'd lost Glenn. I already knew there was no way in hell we were leaving Atlanta until we found him.


	10. Vatos: Part 2

S1E4P2

Once we returned to the office building Rick turned his attention on the boy.

"Those men you were with, we need to know where they went." Rick said.

"I ain't telling you nothing."

"Jesus, man. What the hell happened back there?" T-Dog said, rubbing his head.

"I told you, this little turd and his douche bag friends came out of nowhere and jumped me, jumped us." Daryl said, looking at me. My head still ached occasionally but it certainly wasn't serious. It had pissed me off though.

"You're the one who jumped me, puto, screaming about trying to find his brother like it's my damn fault."

"They took Glenn." Daryl pointed out. "Could have taken Merle too."

"Merle?" The kid chuckled. "What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle."

Clearly this kid either didn't care if Daryl killed him or was plain stupid. Rick had to grab Daryl, who still nearly got a kick at the kid, before he killed him.

"Damnit Daryl, back off." Rick said. I sighed.

"Look, the way I see it this was all a misunderstanding. The kid overreacted, screaming in the middle of a city filled with walkers. We tried to get him to shut up, which made his friend think we were attacking him. They attacked us, they took Glenn and here we are."

"It ain't my fault you started screaming at me." The kid scowled.

"We were whispering at you to shut the hell up." I retorted, rubbing the back of my head.

"Want to see what happened to the last guy that pissed me off?" Daryl said, turning around and dropping Merle's hand into his lap. The kid freaked and jumped aside as Daryl jumped on him.

"Start with the feet this time."

I rolled my eyes. Rick jumped on Daryl and pulled him away, kneeling down beside the kid.

"The men you were with took our friend. All we want to do is talk to them, see if we can work something out."

The kid looked unsure, but clearly didn't want to stay with us. He was out of options, so he told us where to go. After a while we came across a building that had seen better days and Rick sent T-Dog to the roof with a sniper rifle.

"One wrong move, you get an arrow in the ass. Just so you know." Daryl told the kid as I loaded a shotgun.

"G's going to take that arrow out of my ass and shove it up yours. Just so you know." He retorted. Thankfully Daryl didn't try to kill him again.

"G?" Rick said.

"Guillermo. He's the man here."

"Okay then. Let's go see Guillermo."

We headed into the area, ducking under some cut chain-link fence and carefully approached the building where the kids' people lived. The doors were painted red and slid open as we got closer. A group of people emerged.

"You okay, little man?" The man I assumed was Guillermo said.

"They were going to cut off my feet."

Guillermo looked at Rick.

"Cops do that?"

"Not him. This redneck puto. He cut off some dude's hand, man. He showed it to me."

"Shut up." Daryl said, shifting his aim to the people who jumped us in the alley.

"Hey, that's the Vato's right there, homes. He shot me in the ass with an arrow, and she gouged a line into Jorge's chest."

"That was your own damn fault for grabbing a woman holding a military-grade weapon." I said, turning the shotgun on them as he waved a pistol in our direction.

"Chill," Guillermo said, making him lower his gun. "This true? He wants Miguel's feet? That's pretty sick, man."

"We were hoping more for a calm discussion." Rick said.

"A hillbilly and a brit jump Filipe's little cousin, beats on him, threatens to cut off his feet, Felipe gets an arrow in the ass, Jorge gets sliced and you want a calm discussion? You fascinate me."

"Heat of the moment." Rick said, adjusting his grip on his own shotgun. "Mistakes were made on both sides."

"Who're they to you anyway? You don't look related." Guillermo said, looking between me and Daryl.

"He's one of our group, more or less. I'm sure you have a few like him. And Ava's a friend."

I glanced at him, surprised but pleased to be called his friend. Daryl stepped forward.

"You got my brother in there?"

"Sorry, we're fresh out of white boys. But I've got Asian. You interested?"

I tensed, hoping Glenn was okay.

"I have one of yours, you have one of mine. Sounds like an even trade." Rick said.

"Don't sound even to me."

Miguel groaned.

"G. Come on, man."

"My people got attacked. Where's the compensation for their pain and suffering?"

"Where's my compensation for the raging headache you gave me?" I said, but other than a scowl from Jorge, they ignored me.

"More to the point, where's my bag of guns?"

Shit.

"Guns?"

"The bag Miguel saw in the street. The bag Felipe and Jorge were going back to get. That bag of guns."

It had been too much to hope that no one would notice what was practically gold lying in the middle of the street. It was like dropping a Rolex in London and expecting it to still be there the next day.

"You're mistaken." Rick said.

"I don't think so."

"About it being yours. It's my bag of guns."

"The bag was in the street. Anybody could come around and say it was theirs. I'm supposed to take your word? What's to stop my people from unloading on you right here and now and I take what's mine?"

"You could do that. Or not." Rick said, looking up at T-Dog, who had Guillermo in his sights. Guillermo called out behind him and two men pushed a blindfolded man to the edge of the roof. I sucked in a breath as they revealed Glenn, his breath coming fast.

"I see two options." Guillermo said. "You come back with Miguel and my bag of guns, everybody walks. Or you come back locked and loaded, we'll see which side spills more blood."

With that, the group retreated back into their hideout and left us with Miguel and very few options. We returned to the office area to discuss our options. Rick grabbed the bag of guns and started sorting through them.

"Them guns are worth more than gold. Gold won't protect your family or put food on the table. You're gonna give that up for that kid?" Daryl said.

"If I knew we'd get Glenn back, I might agree." T-Dog sighed, rubbing his head. "But you think that Vato across the way is just going to hand him over?"

"You calling G a liar?" Miguel said.

"Are you a part of this?" Daryl said, slapping the kid across the face. "You want to hold onto your teeth?"

"Question is, do you trust that man's word?" T-Dog said.

"No, question is what are you willing to bet on it? Could be more than them guns. Could be your life. Glenn worth that to you?"

"Yes." I said.

"What life we have we owe to him." Rick said. "I was nobody to Glenn, just some idiot stuck in a tank. He could have walked away but he didn't. Neither will I."

"Nor me." I nodded firmly.

"So you're just going to hand the guns over?"

"I didn't say that."

Daryl looked at Rick for a moment before reaching for a gun and helping him load the shotguns.

"There's nothing keeping you two here. You should get out, head back to camp."

"And tell your family what?" T-Dog sighed. He had a point. Instead we all turned to the guns, ready to fight for Glenn with our lives.

It hit me as we returned to the hideout that if I died here, I'd never see my family again, but I realised that I'd rather risk never seeing them than see them and have sacrificed Glenn. His life was worth more than finding them.

Miguel was pushed before his, hands tied and gagged. The door opened and Rick pushed him inside. We raised our guns on the Vatos.

"I see my guns but they're not all in the bag." Guillermo said, looking frustrated.

"That's because they're not yours. I thought I mentioned that." Rick said. Felipe pushed forwards, glaring at me and Daryl.

"Let's just shoot these fools right now. Alright? Unload on their asses."

"I don't think you full appreciate the gravity of the situation." Guillermo said.

"No, I'm pretty clear." Rick said, cutting Miguel free and pushing him towards the others. "You have your man. I want mine."

Guillermo stepped forward, fixing Rick with a murderous glare. I shifted, keeping my shotgun on the others but watched G closely.

"I'm gonna chop up your boy. I'm going to feed him to my dogs. They're the evilest, nastiest man-eating bitches you ever saw. I picked them up them Satan at a yard sale. I told you how it has to be. Are you woefully deaf?"

"No, my hearing's fine. You said come locked and loaded."

He cocked his gun and we all followed suit. I fixed a glare on the man before us, mentally preparing myself for a bloodbath.

"Okay then, we're here."


	11. Vatos: Part 3

S1E4P3

The stand-off was intense, making it all the more jarring when a little old lady ambled into the fray calling for Felipe.

"Abuela." Felipe said, looking warily between her and us. "Go back with the others now."

"Get that old lady out of the line of fire!"Daryl yelled.

"Abuela, listen to your mijo, okay? This is not the place for you right now." Guillermo said.

I was already lowering my gun, frowning at the whole situation.

"Mr. Gilbert is having trouble breathing. He needs his asthma stuff. Carlitos didn't find it. He needs his medicine." The old lady said, unaware of the tense situation she had walked into.

"Felipe, go take care of it, okay? And take your grandmother with you."

Felipe spoke to his grandmother, trying to get her to leave, but she noticed us and frowned.

"Who are these people?" She asked.

Felipe tried to get her to leave but she pushed forward, walking right up to Rick who lowered his gun.

"Don't take him." She begged.

Rick exchanged a confused look with me.

"Ma'am?"

"Felipe's a good boy. He has his trouble but he pulls himself together. We need him here."

Rick blinked.

"Ma'am, I'm not here to arrest your grandson."

"Then what do you want him for?"

"He's…helping us find a missing person. Fella named Glenn."

"The Asian boy?" Abuela smiled. "He's with Mr. Gilbert. Come, I'll show you."

She took Ricks hand and took him into the group of Vatos. I lowered my gun and followed, T-Dog and Daryl close behind.

"Let them pass." Guillermo sighed.

Abuela led us into a different building filled with elderly people and medical equipment. Eventually we came to a gymnasium where several people were crowded around a man struggling to breathe, including Glenn. Felipe moved forward and helped the old man with an inhaler.

"Nice and easy." He said. "Just breathe. Just relax."

Rick turned to Glenn.

"What the hell is this?" He said.

"Asthma attack. Couldn't get his breath all of a sudden." Glenn said, as if that was what we were referring to. I walked over to him and smacked him on the arm.

"Ow!" He said, frowning at me.

"We thought they were killing you." I said.

"Yeah, we thought you were being eaten by dogs man!" T-Dog yelled. Glenn looked behind him, where three Chihuahuas sat in a dog bed.

"Jesus Christ." I said, rubbing my head.

"Sorry." Glenn mumbled.

"Could I have a word with you?" Rick said, guiding Guillermo aside. After patting Glenn on the shoulder I followed. "You are the dumbest son of a bitch I ever met. We walked in there ready to kill every last one of you."

"Well, I'm glad it didn't go down that way." Guillermo admitted.

"If it had, that blood would have been on my hands." Rick growled.

"Mine too. We'd have fought back. Wouldn't be the first time we've had to. Protect the food, the medicine…what's left of it. These people, the old ones…the staff took off, just left them here to die. Me and Felipe were the only ones who stayed."

"What are you, doctors?"

"Felipe's a nurse…a special care provider. Me, I'm the custodian."

Guillermo took us away from the others so we could talk. It looked like the lunch room of what the building used to be.

"What about the rest of your crew?" Rick asked.

"The Vatos trickle in to check on their parents, their grandparents. They see how things are and most decide to stay. It's a good thing too. We need the muscle. The people we've encountered since things fell apart, the worst kind…plunderers, the kind that take by force."

"That's not who we are." Rick said.

"How was I to know? My people got attacked and you show up with Miguel hostage…appearances."

"Guess the world changed." T-Dog sighed. I leaned against the wall beside him and pinched the bridge of my nose. The last two days had been insane. I almost longed for the boring monotony of walking the roads alone. Almost.

"No." Guillermo said, leaning around Rick to look at T-Dog. "It's the same as it ever was. The weak get taken. So we do what we can here. The Vatos work on those cars, talk about getting the old people out of the city. But most can't even get to the bathroom by themselves so that's a dream. Still, it keeps the crew busy, and that's worth something."

Guillermo gestured to the windows which had planks of wood nailed over them.

"So we barred all the windows, welded all the doors shut except one entrance. The Vatos, they go out, scavenge what they can to keep us going. We watch the perimeter night and day and we wait."

Glenn nudged my shoulder and I smiled at him. Perhaps I looked as tired as I felt.

"The people here, they all look to me now. I don't even know why."

"Because they can." Rick said, handing him his shotgun. He then unzipped the bag and began taking out some of the weapons for him. I said nothing, none of us did. It seemed even Daryl was okay with the decision.

We left them like that and returned to the train tracks, ready to leave Atlanta at last. I wouldn't be disappointed if I never saw the city again.

"Admit it," Glenn said. "You only came back to Atlanta for the hat."

"Don't tell anybody."

I chuckled.

"You've given away half our guns and ammo." Daryl said.

"Not nearly half." Rick protested.

"For what? Bunch of old farts who are going to die off momentarily anyhow? Seriously, how long you think they got?"

Okay, so Daryl wasn't okay with the decision, but he'd waited till now to complain about it. I reckoned he was only annoyed at losing the guns, not about who they went to.

"How long do any of us." Rick said, giving us a morbidly relevant truth. We were distracted from it when we realised something was missing.

"Oh my god." Glenn said.

"Where the hell's our van?" Daryl yelled, storming into the place where it had been.

"We left it right there. Who would take it?" Glenn said.

"Merle." Rick and I said at the same time.

Daryl looked back at us.

"He's going to be taking some vengeance back to camp."

Rick's expression shifted to one of concern and he started running the way we had come by truck. Adjusting my straps, thankful I no longer had a shotgun, we started running back to the camp.

By the time we got near, the sun had set and my legs were burning. I was going to feel this the next day. As we got closer, we heard a gunshot and stumbled before pelting full-speed through the forest.

Gunshots and screams echoed up to us and fear sliced through me. The camp was being attacked and God knows who was already hurt. I drew my Buretta in one hand, the dagger in the other as we jumped into the clearing.

Walkers were everywhere and I paid no heed to noise as I fired my gun. My aim was good, and two out of three shots were kill shots. Unfortunately my gun was out of ammo before the undead were back to being dead.

"Carl!" Rick cried. I turned to see the boy race away from his mother and towards his dad. A walker lunged at him and I grabbed Carls' arm swinging him out of the way and plunging the dagger into the walker. Unfortunately, I missed the head and it continued to snap at me.

I didn't get to see if Carl was okay as the walker took me down, its weight crushing me as I pushed against its chest which was slippery with blood. My heart was pounding and I shrieked as it clawed at my arms, luckily clad in too much material for it to pierce skin.

The walkers head exploded to my right and it fell limp, someone kicking it off of me and reaching to pull me up. It was Rick, his face white. Carl clung to his side with tears streaming down his face.

The gunshots slowed, then stopped and the clearing fell silent aside from the sobs of children. Shaking, I bent down to pull my dagger from the walkers chest. The blade quivered in my grip. I swallowed and took deep breaths to calm my nerves but it didn't work. Other cries caught my ears and I looked up to find Andrea shaking a bloodied Amy. It felt like my chest had caved in to see such sadness and before I knew it tears were streaming down my face.

"I remember my dream now," Jim said. "Why I dug the holes."

I didn't know what he was talking about, but it didn't take a genius to understand what he meant.


	12. Wildfire: Part 1

S1E5P1

No one slept well that night. I certainly didn't. I sat against a tree at the edge of camp and stared at Andrea and Amy. Neither moved all night. I dozed on and off until morning when Rick woke me.

"Have you been here all night?"

I blinked, rubbing dew from my face and realising I was covered in walker blood from the one that fell on me. So much for my new clothes. I sighed.

"Yeah. I didn't want to leave Andrea and she didn't move, so…"

Rick helped me up and I leaned back, stretching and groaning. In the light of day the massacre was so much worse. Bodies littered the camp, both survivors and walkers alike. People were beginning to deal with it and still Andrea didn't move.

"I can't bear to think about how she feels. It's too close to home, you know?" I said, looking at Rick. He nodded solemnly. "It could have been me holding Hailey or Luke. It still could be, if I ever see them again."

"I know what you mean. Too well."

Rick gripped my shoulder, drawing my attention away from Andrea.

"You saved my son last night." He said, looking into my eyes with an intensity I hadn't seen before. "The walker would've taken a bite out of him if you hadn't pulled him aside and you nearly died in the process."

"Well, of course I did. He's a child. Children are more important than anything else these days."

Rick nodded, looking down for a moment. When he looked back up his eyes were red with unshed tears.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost my boy. You saved him last night and I can't ever begin to thank you for it."

I smiled lightly, realising just how terrifying last night must have been for him.

"The thank you and the fact that Carl is alive is enough, Rick." I said, patting the arm still clasped to my shoulder. He nodded, clearing his throat and straightening.

"Then thank you again." He said.

We went back to the camp as Lori stepped away from Andrea. Daryl was dispatching walkers with a pick axe while Glenn helped take them away to burn them.

"She still won't move?" Rick said.

"She won't even talk to us. She's been there all night. What do we do?"

"Can't just leave Amy like that." Shane said. "We need to deal with it same as the others."

"I'm not sure…" I said, biting my lip.

"You want to leave her there ready to tear into us?" Shane said, looking at me as if I were crazy. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course not, but Andrea isn't stupid. She knows what she will have to do and even if she doesn't, if it looks like Amy's going to kill her, I'll step in end it. It's not like she's going to be able to creep up on us. We'll know when she turns."

"I ain't risking it. Not with the kids here. Anything could happen."

I sighed but didn't argue.

"I'll tell her how it is." Rick said, heading over to Andrea. Before he reached them Andrea drew a gun on him.

"Andrea." I said.

"I know how the safety works." She said, staring at Rick. He held his hands out to her.

"Alright. Okay. I'm sorry." He said, backing away.

"Y'all can't be serious. Let that girl hamstring us? The dead girl's a time bomb." Daryl said.

"One we have an eye on." I pointed out.

"What do you suggest?" Rick asked.

Daryl looked over to Andrea and Amy.

"Take the shot. Clean, in the brain from here. Hell, I can hit a turkey between the eyes from this distance."

"No." Lori said. "For God's sake, let her be."

Daryl shook his head and stormed off, patting Jim on the shoulder.

"Wake up, Jimbo. We've got some work to do."

Daryl helped Morales with a corpse, dragging it towards the bonfire of walkers Glenn was beside.

"What are you guys doing?" He said. "This is for geeks. Our people go over there."

"What's the difference? They're all infected." Daryl said.

"Our people go in the row over there." Glenn said again, seething as his eyes grew glassy. "We don't burn them! We bury them. Understand? Our people go in that row over there."

Eventually they obliged, but Daryl had to open his mouth as they dumped the corpse.

"You reap what you sow."

"You know what?" Morales said. "Shut up, man."

"Y'all left my brother for dead. You had this coming."

I sighed, rubbing my head and really feeling the craziness of the last few days. More than anything I was feeling the bad night's sleep I'd had. I needed coffee.

"A walker got him! A walker bit Jim."

I jumped as Jacqui cried out, drawing everyone's attention to Jim.

"I'm okay." He protested, but no one was taking that at face value. People started freaking out and in turn, Jim began to panic, grabbing a spade to defend himself.

"Jim, put it down." Shane said as they circled him.

Eventually T-Dog grabbed him from behind and Daryl jumped forward to pull his shirt up. A very obvious bite mark was carved into his flesh. He never stopped proclaiming that he was fine.

Later, we gathered to try and figure out what to do.

"I say we put a pickaxe in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it." Daryl said.

"He's not dead yet." I said.

"He might as well be."

"Is that what you'd want if it were you?" Shane said, turning on Daryl.

"Yeah, and I'd thank you while you do it."

"I hate to say it – I never thought I would – but maybe Daryl's right." Dale said. I stared at him in shock.

"Jim's not a monster, Dale, or some rabid dog." Rick said.

"I'm not suggesting-"

"He's sick." Rick said, cutting Dale off. "A sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?"

"The line's pretty clear. Zero tolerance for walkers, or them to be." Daryl said.

"What if we could get him help? I heard the C.D.C was working on a cure." Rick said.

"I heard that too." Shane nodded. "Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell."

"What if the C.D.C is still up and running?"

I had to admit, the idea of the C.D.C being up and running was tantalising. It gave me hope to imagine someone actually working to end this hell.

"Man, that's a stretch right there." Shane said, voicing what my rational side was thinking.

"Why? If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the C.D.C at all costs, wouldn't they? I think it's our best shot. Shelter, protection…"

"Okay, Rick, you want those things, alright? I do too, okay? Now if they exist, they're at the army base. Fort Benning."

"That's 100 miles in the opposite direction." Lori said.

"That is right. But it's away from the hot zone. Now listen to me. If that place is operational, it'll be heavily armed. We'd be safe."

"Not necessarily." I mumbled, shivering at the thought of the soldiers.

"The military were on the front lines of this thing. They got overrun. We've all seen that. The C.D.C is our best choice and Jim's only chance." Rick argued.

"You go looking for aspirin, do what you need to do." Daryl said, turning to Jim with the pickaxe. "Someone needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem!"

Rick was quick to draw his Python and hold it to Daryl's head. Shane moved between him and Jim.

"We don't kill the living."

Daryl lowered the pickaxe and turned to Rick.

"That's funny coming from a man who just put a gun to my head."

"We may disagree on some things, not on this. You put it down. Go on." Shane said.

Daryl dropped the pickaxe and stormed off. Rick grabbed Jims' arm.

"Come with me."

"Where are you taking me?"

"Somewhere safe."

Ricks' idea of somewhere safe was the RV. I stayed with him long enough to clean and patch Jims' wound – not that it would make much difference. When I came out, Rick and Shane were heading toward me with their hands on their guns. I frowned, then jumped, almost falling out of the RV as Andrea shot Amy.

I looked down as Andrea began to cry.

Later everyone left in the camp traipsed up to where Shane and Rick had dug graves.

"I still think it's a mistake not burning these bodies. It's what we said we'd do, right? Burn them all, wasn't that the idea?" Daryl said.

"At first." Shane muttered.

"The Chinaman gets all emotional, says it's not the thing to do, we just follow him along? These people need to know who the hell's in charge here, what the rules are."

He had a point. I still had no idea who the leader was, though I reckoned it was Shane. Or had been. Since we'd arrived, Rick seemed to be finding himself more in positions of decision making.

"There are no more rules." Rick said.

"Well, that's the problem." Lori said. "We haven't had one minute to hold onto anything of our old selves. We need time to mourn and we need to bury our dead. It's what people do."

We stood in silence when Andrea and Dale brought Amy's body to the hole. My eyes stung with tears and I went to help her, but she was already yelling at Dale, saying she could do it herself. I waited a moment longer than anyone else, giving a silent prayer and wishing I could have known Amy better. Then I trailed away from the graves.

"Are we safe now, dad? Now that we're together?" Carl asked Rick.

"I won't leave again. I promise you that. Not for anything."

Carl nodded, holding back tears.

"Now give me a chance to discuss some things with your mum, okay?"

"Yeah."

"Alright." Rick looked up, seeing me coming, and smiled. "Ava, could you take Carl back to camp."

"Sure. I'll teach him to play poker." I teased.

Rick chuckled, but Lori looked unsure.

"That was a joke." I told her and she shook her head.

"Sorry." She said. "And thank you. For saving Carl last night."

I nodded.

"You're welcome." I said, moving past the couple. I patted Carl on the back as we headed back to camp. "Come on, kid. What do you say to learning something else?"


	13. Wildfire: Part 2

_Author note: Thank you so much for the fantastic support! I really appreciate it :). This chapters a bit like filler but I hope you like it!_

* * *

S1E5P2

"So, now you take a card from the middle pile." I said, pointing to the pile in the middle of the circle of cards.

"It's a two." He said, looking to me to see what comes next.

"Great start! Which two is it?"

"Er…It's the leafy looking ones. The one that looks like a four leaf clover, but with three leaves."

I chuckled.

"That's the clubs."

"Is it important to know the difference?"

"In this game? No. If we were playing poker, then yes."

"Can you teach me poker?"

I laughed again.

"I don't know what your mum would think of that. Maybe one day when you're older. Now, because you picked a two, you need to put it next to the two position." I said, gesturing to the circle of cards. I'd set them out saying the number as I went round, setting out a clock face. Carl put the two face up on beside the two pile.

"Great! Now you pick up a card from the two pile…"

As Carl took the card, the tent was unzipped and Rick ducked in.

"Dad! Ava's teaching me to play clock patience."

"Clock patience?" Rick said, frowning.

"My granddad taught me to play when I was younger." I said. "What did you get this time?"

"A five – and I know this symbol. It's hearts."

"Cool, but in terms of playing card, they're called suits."

Carl nodded, intrigued, and put the five card next to the five position on the clock.

"Looks like you've got it." I grinned.

"It's pretty simple."

"Ah, just remember. When you get a King it goes next to the centre and when you get all four kings, the game is over."

"I remember." Carl said, and he continued to play the game, brow furrowed in concentration.

Rick gave me a look and ducked back out of the tent.

"I'm going to go talk to your dad, kid." I said, holding out a hand. He eyed it like he thought I was super lame. It reminded me of Riley. "Come on, don't leave me hanging."

Carl grinned and high-fived me. I grinned and left him to it.

Rick was stood not far from the tent, but towards the woods not the camp, his hands on his hips.

"What's up?" I said, approaching him.

"Do you think I'm to blame for all this?" He turned back to me. "That if we'd stayed not so many people would've died?"

I blinked.

"What makes you say that?"

"Shane thinks it. Lori thinks it. I still can't decide if they're right or not." He sighed, raking a hand through his hair and squeezing his eyes shut. I clenched my jaw. Shane and Lori were supposed to be the closest people to Rick and they were blaming him?

"You can't think like that Rick and neither should they. What's the point in blaming each other after the fact? Especially when no one is to blame."

"Shane thinks we would have had fewer deaths if we'd been here to fight. I think we would have had more if we hadn't got the guns. I don't know who's right."

"Both of you. And neither of you. Who knows? Maybe we would have had fewer deaths if we'd stayed or maybe they all would have died without the guns? Maybe we should have brought all the guns back instead of giving half to the Vatos or maybe the camp should have taken note of Walkers coming up the mountain and been more cautious of them creeping into camp, instead of sitting around the fire singing kumbaya." I took a deep breath, cooling my anger. "If you want to blame anyone, blame the damn walkers for swanning into camp at that really inopportune moment."

Rick looked down and nodded. I grabbed his shoulders and he looked up at me.

"It's real easy to find guilt when you look back on a situation and start thinking about what you could have done to get a better result. Anyone can manoeuvre events to get the perfect outcome with the benefit of hindsight. But no one gets that. Human beings can't make the perfect choice. Stop blaming yourself for everything, Rick. It won't make things any easier and it won't make things right."

He smiled lightly, taking my hands from his shoulders and squeezing them lightly.

"Thank you."

I nodded and we both moved back towards camp. Rick bent down to look in on Carl and I noticed Lori standing by the RV. She was having a heated conversation with Shane but kept glancing over at us. In that moment, it hit me that Lori and Shane had been together.

My jaw dropped. I don't know what made me think it, but just looking at them, at the way they stood and the tension around them, I knew. My heart clenched as I thought of Rick, who had fought so hard to get back to them.

I swallowed. Lori had thought he was dead and she didn't seem to be continuing the affair – much to Shane's frustration.

"Ava!"

I blinked, turning to the tent. Carl was grinning out at me and I moved closer to look inside with Rick. He'd made good progress on the clock.

"I nearly did it! I only had three cards left when I got the last king."

"That's great Carl. Now you've just got to try and beat your personal best."

"What's your personal best?" Rick asked.

"Oh I did it once. I got all the way to the end. It's just a matter of chance."

"I'm going to do it again." Carl said, collecting the cards and shuffling them together.

"Have at it."

I went to head back to camp but Rick caught my arm.

"I forgot to ask. The C.D.C. What do you think?"

"Well," I sighed. "I think both options are risky and equally unlikely, but I also don't want to go anywhere near the military. And you're right. The C.D.C. is Jim's only hope."

He nodded. We headed towards the RV where Shane and Lori were still talking.

"I guess I'll just add it to the list of habits that I'm breaking whether I like it or not." Shane growled.

"What habits?" Rick said.

I knew what habits, but I wasn't about to say anything.

"Just talking about my need for a plan, man. So what is it? Are we leaving or not? Maybe y'all just want to stay here. We could hang some more tin cans." Shane's sarcasm made me roll my eyes, especially since they should have thought of doing that as soon as the first walker was found.

"We can't stay here." Rick said. "We both know that."

"I was just telling Shane I think we should trust your gut." Lori said.

"What about you?" Shane said, turning to me. "What's you stance on all of this?"

"Either choice is risky, but I want nothing to do with soldiers."

"Why not?"

"Because the last soldiers I ran into kidnapped me and left my family to fend for themselves. They became…different. Scared and trigger happy until…" I trailed off, thinking of the final week I spent with them. I shivered. "Let's just say I won't complain if I never see a soldier again."

Shane chuckled, shaking his head as if he thought I was crazy. He might be more understanding if he knew the whole situation.

"Let's go do our sweep." He said, turning to Rick.

The two walked off and I looked around, seeing Andrea asleep on one of the chairs by the fire. My heart clenched and it took a moment for me to notice Lori staring at me.

"Alright?" I asked. Lori blinked.

"Sorry. Lost in thought."

I nodded.

"Where's Carl?"

"In the tent. I taught him to play clock patience. Don't worry, it's not gambling."

She chuckled shortly. I wanted to move away, but I sensed she wanted to say more.

"Seriously Lori, what's up?"

"It's nothing. I…I guess I'm just paranoid. I mean, Rick and I weren't in the best place before he got shot and now…"

I didn't get what she was implying and frowned at her. She sighed.

"I guess I'm just jealous that you and him have a connection I can't begin to understand. One built on survival."

I opened my mouth, unsure of what to say to that. She was afraid that I would steal her husband? I hadn't even thought of that but now she mentioned it, I realised that I really did like Rick. I could even see it growing to more. I mean, we'd known each other days but it felt like so much longer. I swallowed.

"You're right, Lori. It is a connection built on survival, nothing else. We trust each other and have each others' backs but he loves you. I'd never do anything to get between you two. I'm just a friend."

She nodded, looking relieved.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just afraid to lose him again."

I bit my lip, contemplating what I would say next and sighing when I decided to come out with it.

"Look, Lori, please don't take this the wrong way but I can tell there was…something between you and Shane. Now, I'm not going to go blurting it to everyone. It's your business. You thought Rick was dead. I get it. I'm just…Rick's my friend and I don't want to see him hurt."

"You think I do?" She hissed.

"That's not what I mean. I mean Shane…I'm good at reading people. It's how I could tell you'd been together. Shane isn't the type of guy to give up what he perceives as his. Surely you haven't missed the way Shane looks at Rick."

"Shane would never do anything to hurt him. He's his best friend."

"He's also the husband of the woman he loves." I pointed out. Lori clenched her jaw, nodded and walked away. I sighed, unsure as to whether I'd made things worse or better with that conversation.

When Rick, Shane and Dale returned we were all sat around the fire. Carl had eventually grown bored and tried to give the cards back, but I told him to keep them and play whenever he wanted. I got a hug for that and my heart warmed.

"I've been, uh, I've been thinking about Rick's plan." Shane said. "Now look, there are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first to admit that. I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts."

I felt Lori's gaze on me and only briefly met her gaze. I got it. She cared about both men and the thought of them turning on each other would mean she'd have to choose. Not a nice place to be. Unfortunately, I could see things only getting worse the more Shane was denied her.

"I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning."

We need to stay together. It was almost laughable. I could only hope no one would get hurt when the situation came to a head.


	14. Wildfire: Part 3

S1E5P3

Having all my stuff packed already meant I had little to do as the camp cleared. I offered help to others and spent an hour or two helping Glenn and Andrea. Eventually I ended up sitting near the fire with Carl and Sophia, teaching them how to play Rummy. It took a while for them to get the hang of it but we stuck to trying to get four of a kind and three of a kind, just to simplify.

The next day we gathered at the cars as Shane spoke.

"Everybody listen up. Those of you with CBs, we're going to be on channel 40. Let's keep the chatter down, okay? Now you got a problem, don't have a CB, can't get a signal or anything at all, you're going to hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?"

Morales stepped forward.

"We're, uh…we're not going."

We stared at them in shock, especially those who knew them well.

"We have family in Birmingham. We want to be with our people." His wife said and I was pained to realise I'd never learned her name. I only knew her little girl was called Eliza because I'd heard Sophia call her that.

"You go on your own, you won't have anyone to watch your back." Shane said.

"We'll take that chance. I got to do what's best for my family."

"You sure?" Rick asked.

"We talked about it. We're sure."

Rick nodded.

"Alright. Shane?"

Shane agreed and Rick knelt down, pulling out a gun and handing it to Morales. Shane handed him some ammo.

"The box is half full."

"Thank you all." Morales said. "For everything."

Lori slid off the bonnet of a truck and hugged his wife, moving to say goodbye to the children as well. Sophia was sobbing as she and Eliza hugged and said goodbye to one another. Eliza gave Sophia her doll and she turned into Carol, who held her tight.

"Channel 40," Rick said. "If you change your minds. Alright?"

"Yeah." Morales said.

They moved away from the group and to their car.

"What makes you think our odds are any better?" Shane said, giving Rick a look. I clenched my jaw. "Come on. Let's go. Let's move out."

I grabbed my bag as Glenn approached me.

"You can ride with us in the RV if you want?"

"Sure." I said, heading towards it. I paused when Rick came up to me.

"You're not going your own way then?" He said. I shook my head.

"You were right. About the odds of finding my family being low. And either way we're heading on the road somewhere. For all I know Luke and Hailey had the same idea you did. I trust you and I trust most of the people here. That's good enough for me."

"Most of the people?"

"I'm not going to elaborate on that." I said, smiling.

"Alright." Rick chuckled.

In the RV, Jim got worse as we went along and Jacqui looked after him. She was happy to, so I left her to it. After about half an hour I came to the front and leaned on the headrests between Dale and Glenn, managing to convince them after some serious goading to play I-spy.

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with…A."

"Asphalt?" Glenn tried.

"Nope."

"I don't see anything else that begins with an A."

"So you give up?"

Dale chuckled.

"You should have ridden with Rick. Carl and Sophia wouldn't be bored."

I smirked.

"Alright. I give up." Glenn sighed.

"It was that abandoned car back there. The one with all the doors open."

Glenn frowned.

"How does 'car' start with an A?"

"Because it's not just a car, it's an abandoned car. I would have said it started A and C, but I thought that would be confusing."

"Because saying A wasn't?"

Before I could say anything the RV juddered, the engine making a squealing sound that forbade nothing good. The shift in momentum put me off balance and I fell backwards, winding myself on the RV floor.

"Shit!" Dale exclaimed, turning the engine off.

"Ava! You alright?" Glenn asked, looking back at me.

"Aside from yet another bruise, I'm fine."

With the RV stopped, Glenn stood and helped me up as we piled out of the vehicle. Dale didn't bother with the CB. Everyone was behind us anyway.

We moved straight to the engine and when he opened it steam came pooling out. The other cars stopped behind us and the others came to see what was wrong. My eyes widened as I looked at the engine.

"Jesus Christ, Dale. What happened to the hose?"

"I told you we'd never get far on it. I said I needed the one from the cube van."

"Can you jury-rig it?" Rick asked. I scoffed.

"Not a chance in hell. It's completely caput."

"Yeah, it's only ever been jury-rigged. It's more duct tape than hose. And I'm out of duct tape."

"I see something up ahead." Shane said, squinting down the road. "A gas station if we're lucky."

Before anyone could answer Jacqui came out of the van.

"Y'all, Jim…It's bad. I don't think he can take anymore."

She returned to the van and I swallowed. He'd cried out in pain a few times in the journey and when he wasn't making noise, he was unconscious.

"Hey Rick," Shane said. "You want to hold down the fort? I'll drive ahead, see what I can bring back."

"Yeah, I'll come along too and back you up." T-Dog said.

"I'm coming as well." I said, wiping my hands on my trousers. "I know what we need and I can grab anything else that might be useful."

"Y'all keep your eyes open now. We'll be right back." Shane said, getting into his Jeep.

We went up the road and did indeed find a petrol station with a few abandoned buildings dotted around. I told Shane and T-Dog to drain them of fuel and set about removing the hose from a truck. I also grabbed a few chocolate bars someone had stashed in the glove box.

When we got back I set to work on the RV with Dale's help. Once fixed, Rick emerged from the RV.

"It's what he says he wants." Rick said.

"And he's lucid?" Carol asked.

"He seems to be. I would say yes."

I folded my arms and leaned against the RV.

"Back in the camp when I said Daryl might be right and you shut me down, you misunderstood. I would never go along with callously killing a man. I was just going to suggest that we ask Jim what he wants. And I think we have an answer." Dale said.

"We just leave him here?" Shane said, shaking his head. "We take off? Man, I'm not sure I could live with that."

"It's not your call, either one of you." Lori said.

"Lori's right." I sighed. "If it were me, I'd want to have the choice and I'd want my friends to accept it."

Rick blinked and looked away, jaw tense. He and Shane helped carry Jim out of the RV and laid him against a tree in the verge. He didn't look well. His face was sickly white and covered in a sheen of sweat. We all gathered around to say our goodbyes and I looked on the man solemnly.

"Hey," Jim chuckled. "Another damn tree."

"Hey Jim…I mean, you know it doesn't need to be this." Shane said.

"No. It's good. The breeze feels nice." Jim smiled.

Jacqui knelt down beside him.

"Just close your eyes, sweetie." She said, kissing his cheek. "Don't fight it."

Rick pulled out a gun and offered it to Jim.

"Jim, do you want this?"

He shook his head.

"No. You'll need it. I'm okay."

Dale stepped forward.

"Thanks for fighting for us."

Jim nodded smiling. The group made their goodbyes. I hesitated as people moved away and approached him.

"Do you like chocolate Jim?"

He chuckled.

"Yeah. Why?"

I pulled out a Hersheys' bar and his eyes widened.

"I don't want to waste it." He said.

"I've got plenty for the group." I unwrapped the bar and broke a square off, putting it in his mouth. His eyes rolled back as he slowly chewed.

"Oh man, it's been so long."

I went to give him more but he shook his head.

"I'll savour the taste, but give the rest to the kids."

I sighed and nodded, standing and tapping him a salute before heading down to join the others. Carl and Sophia stared at the chocolate bar and I gave them a fresh one each before returning to the RV.

We reached the C.D.C. not long before dark and were forced to stop.

"Oh my God." I said, staring at the hundreds of corpses that littered the ground. We left the vehicles with weapons out. I drew my dagger and retched, pressing my other hand over my face as we made our way between corpses so decomposed that flies buzzed relentlessly. I almost threw up when I saw maggots crawling inside someone's eye socket.

We reached the building and tried to lift the shutters, but they wouldn't budge. Shane knocked on them and I cringed at the echoing sound.

"There's nobody here." T-Dog said.

"Then why are the shutters down?" Rick countered.

"Walkers!"

The children began to cry and freak out as everyone started to panic.

"You led us to a graveyard!" Daryl yelled.

"Daryl, that's not helping." I snapped.

Shane tried to convince Rick to leave.

"Fort Benning, Rick. Still an option."

"On what?" Andrea said. "No food, no fuel. That's 100 miles."

"125. I checked the map." Glenn told us.

Lori grabbed Rick.

"Forget Fort Benning. We need answers tonight, now."

"We'll think of something." He promised.

Shane grabbed his arm, begging for us to go. I turned back to the C.D.C and froze as the camera moved.

"The camera…it moved."

"What?" Rick said, pulling away from Shane.

"The camera moved. It turned to look at us."

"You imagined it." Shane said, but Rick ran back, looking into the camera.

"It moved. It moved." He muttered.

"Now look what you've done." Shane snapped. I glared at him.

"I saw it move."

Shane ignored me and grabbed Ricks' arm again.

"Look around this place. It's dead, okay? It's dead."

Rick slammed on the shutters.

"I know you're in there. I know you can hear me."

Lori and Shane continued to try and drag Rick away but he ignored them. I checked behind me for walkers, dagger raised as I took deep breaths to ease my nerves. In and out, in and out.

"Please." Rick yelled at the camera. "We're desperate. Please help us. We have women, children, no food, hardly any gas left-"

"Rick there's no one here." Lori said.

"We have nowhere else to go. If you don't let us in, you're killing us! Please!"

"Come on, buddy, let's go. Let's go."

Shane dragged Rick away from the building.

"Please help us. You're killing us! You're killing us!"

And the shutters opened, streaming a bright white light out at us. I'd been right. There was someone still alive in there.


	15. TS-19: Part 1

S1E6P1

We pushed into the building, ready for anything.

"Hello?" Rick called. We all turned to the sound of a gun cocking. A man stood in a doorway, shotgun in hand and eyed us carefully.

"Anybody infected?" He said.

"One of our group was. He didn't make it."

The man nodded.

"Why are you here? What do you want?"

"A chance."

"That's asking a lot these days."

"I know." Rick said, nodding. There was a tense moment as we waited for the man's judgement, but eventually he nodded.

"You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission."

"We can do that."

Great. I grimaced at the thought. I wouldn't say I had a phobia of needles, but I certainly didn't like them.

"You got stuff to bring in, you do it now. Once this door closes it stays closed."

Rick and some of the others raced out, grabbing bags and running back. The man scanned a card at the door.

"Vi, seal the main entrance. Kill the power up here." He said and the shutters went back down. Rick went up to him.

"Rick Grimes."

"Dr. Edwin Jenner." He said, eying Rick. He led us to an elevator and we all crammed in. Carol clung to Sophia in the tight space.

"Doctors always go around packing heat like that?" Daryl asked from the back of the elevator.

"There were plenty left lying around. I familiarised myself." He glanced back at us. "But you look harmless enough – except you." He smirked at Carl. "I'll have to keep my eye on you."

Carl grinned and I chuckled.

When we spilled out of the elevator we were in a white corridor with no windows and doors to all over the place.

"Are we underground?" Carol asked.

"Are you claustrophobic?"

"A little."

"Try not to think about it."

He led us to a large dark room filled with rows of white work stations.

"Vi, bring up the lights in the big room." The room illuminated, proving to be much bigger than it had seemed before but eerily vacant. "Welcome to zone 5."

"Where is everybody?" Rick asked. "The other doctors, the staff?"

"I'm it."

I closed my eyes, sighing, resigned.

"What about the person you were speaking with? Vi?" Lori said.

"Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them…welcome."

"Hello, guests." A clearly electronic voice said. "Welcome."

Jenner shrugged.

"I'm all that's left."

There was silence as everyone took this in. Jenner then proceeded to take blood from us one by one. When it was my turn, I looked away and groaned. Carl, who had gone before me, took my hand. Jenner removed the needle and I sighed.

"Thanks, kid." I said, ruffling his hair.

Andrea was the last to have blood taken and nearly fainted when she stood.

"Are you okay?" Jenner asked her, but Dale replied, telling him none of us had eaten much in days.

Upon learning this, he took us to the kitchen area and we all prepared quite the feast. If that wasn't enough, Jenner revealed a rather large stash of alcohol. As soon as the first wine was poured, the mood picked up and I found I could laugh wholeheartedly for the first time since the outbreak.

We sat at the table downing wine and scoffing piles of food until we were all in joyous spirits. I sat opposite Rick and Carl and found I couldn't stop giggling.

"You know," Dale said, refilling Lori's glass. "In Italy, children have a little bit of wine with dinner."

"And in France." I said, downing what was left in my glass and gesturing for Dale to top it up.

"Well, when Carl's in Italy or France, he can have some then." Lori said.

"What's it going to hurt?" Rick said. "Come on."

"Come on!" I echoed with some of the others, laughing.

Lori sighed but moved her hand from Carls cup and Dale put some in it. Carl, grinning, picked it up and took a sip, immediately pulling a face.

"Eww."

We all laughed and Lori took the cup from him, adding it to her cup.

"That's my boy." She said.

"Yuck, that tastes nasty."

I snorted into my wine.

"Well, just stick to your sour pop there, bud." Shane said. I looked at him working on his wine and didn't feel like giggling any more. He looked like he was nursing a bad temper.

"Not you, Glenn." Daryl said, drawing my attention away from Shane. I drank some more.

Glenn looked up, smiling drunkenly.

"What?"

"Keep drinking, little man. I want to see how red your face can get."

With that we all burst out laughing. I found drunk Daryl was a lot more agreeable than sober Daryl and wished we could ply him with alcohol more often. I snorted at the thought.

"It seems to me we haven't thanked our host properly." Rick said, raising his glass to Jenner, who was sat at the end of the table looking a little unsure.

"He is more than just our host." Dale laughed.

"Hear, hear!" Glenn cheered.

"Here's to you, doc." Daryl said. "Booyah!"

I laughed and lifted my glass, echoing Daryls' cheer. Jenner nodded with a small smile. We clinked our glasses together, grinning, and I finished my glass.

"So," Shane said. "When are you going to tell us what happened here, doc?"

The laughter immediately quietened and Ricks' grin faded.

"We're celebrating, Shane. Don't need to do this now."

"Whoa, wait a minute. This is why we're here, right?"

"What's the rush?" I groaned. "We're together. We have wine and food and the walkers can't get to us. Why can't we just enjoy tonight?"

Unsurprisingly, Shane ignored me.

"This was your move." He said to Rick. "Supposed to find all the answers. Instead we found him. We found one man. Why?"

"Well," Jenner said, shifting in his seat. "When things got bad, a lot of people just left. Went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted."

"Every last one?"

"No. Many couldn't face walking out the door. They…opted out."

I sighed and grabbed the wine bottle, refilling my glass.

"There was a rash of suicides. That was a bad time."

"You didn't leave?" Rick said. "Why?"

"I just kept working. Hoping to do some good."

Glenn sighed, looking at Shane.

"Dude, you're such a buzzkill, man."

With the mood soured, we left the dinner and Jenner showed us where we could sleep. There were sofa's and a rec room for the kids, but the thing that caught my attention was the mention of hot water.

The warning of going easy on it went right out of my head the moment I stepped under the spray. I groaned loudly, just standing there as water cascaded through my hair and down my back. I didn't think a shower could feel so nice.

By the time I left my fingers were pruny. I dried off and tied a robe around myself, towel-drying my hair so it hung in slick curls.

I started searching for a room and stumbled, giggling at how drunk I was.

"You alright there?"

I spun around and saw Rick, who started laughing the minute I turned.

"What's so funny?"

"You. You're walking like a newborn foal."

"Rude." I said, snatching the wine from his hand and sticking my tongue out when he protested. He laughed, shaking his head and leaning against the wall. I tipped the bottle back and rested on the wall beside him.

I don't know how long we stood there, but we handed the bottle back and forth until it was all gone. I sighed.

"I want more wine, but at the same time, I'm already fairly certain I'm going to throw up tomorrow."

Rick didn't say anything. I looked up at him and he was frowning at the wall across from him. I nudged him.

"What are you looking at?"

"I'm not, I'm thinking."

"About?"

He turned to look at me and I noticed just how pretty his eyes were.

"You. I keep wanting to ask about those soldiers and what happened…I just don't know when's a good time."

I blinked.

"Well you just asked, so I'll tell you if you want?"

He nodded, staring down at me. I took a deep breath and folded my arms.

"At first they kept me tied up. I had to do everything with my hands tied. It was ridiculous. Sometimes they'd take the piss and offer to wipe my arse for me. Pricks." I muttered, swallowing. "After a week or so they started acting differently. I'd gotten used to the innuendos and rude comments, but eventually they started…touching me. They'd pretend it was nothing, just brushing by but…I know people. I could see it in their eyes. They thought they owned me, which meant they could do whatever they wanted with me."

I clenched my jaw, tipping the wine bottle up and getting a few last drips.

"One day they split up. Half of them went hunting and the two that were left had that look about them. I don't know if they would've gone through with it, though I think it's very likely. I managed to cut the ropes on a sharp part of their truck and grabbed one of their knives. And I didn't hesitate. I killed them both and fled."

I looked down, blinking back tears and waited for Ricks' reaction. I honestly didn't know what he would think of me now. He'd said days ago that we don't kill the living, but I had. I was a murderer.

I felt him staring at me and eventually looked up, holding his gaze. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, which was an odd position for me to be in. Usually I could get a hint from his expression but he was blank.

"Sounds like they deserved it." He said eventually.

I closed my eyes, tears falling down my cheeks as my fear dissipated. I dropped my forehead to his shoulder and he shifted, wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on mine.

"Thank you." I said, breathing deeply. I hadn't noticed just how much those deaths weighed on my mind, but finding forgiveness and acceptance – from Rick especially – was wonderful.

I couldn't stop grinning and I pulled back. Again I was struck with how blue his eyes were and wondered how I'd never noticed it before. I'd known they were blue, but it was almost electric. Then I noticed it was because I'd never been this close to him.

And then I realised that I wanted to kiss him.

My eyes widened and I stepped back out of his embrace. I swallowed.

"I should…I should go to sleep before I sober up enough to feel the headache." I laughed awkwardly, sidling past him.

"Ava." He said, catching my elbow in his grasp. I tried not to stare at him but now I was looking at his hair, his lips.

"What?" I managed to say.

Rick licked his lips and squeezed my arm before releasing it.

"I'm glad you decided to stay." He said, sounding slightly breathless. I swallowed again and smiled.

"So am I."

When I walked away I willed my heart to slow and my cheeks to cool. I blamed that whole episode on the booze and prayed this attraction would be gone tomorrow. As if we didn't have enough things to worry about, now I was attracted to a married man.

"Shit." I muttered.


	16. TS-19: Part 2

_Authors note: So. Ava fancies Rick ;) I wonder how this will change things..._

S1E6P2

As expected, I felt like shit the next day. I vomited first thing and felt instantly better, shuffling back to the kitchen where the rest of the group were already digging in. Carl grinned at me.

"You're hung over, aren't you?"

"The pounding in my head says yes." I said, smiling wearily and grabbing coffee from the machine. I took a mouthful and groaned loudly, eyes closed.

"Morning."

I opened my eyes and saw Rick come in, looking a little worse for wear.

"Are you hung over?" Carl asked him. "Mum said you would be."

"Mum is right." Rick said, sliding into the seat next to them.

I buried my face in my coffee. I may have been smashed the night before but I couldn't forget what had happened. Rick caught my eye and I quickly looked away, grabbing a plate as T-Dog moved over.

"Eggs. Powdered, but I do them good." He said, pushing some onto my plate. I smiled and sat beside Glenn who was groaning.

"I bet you can't tell." T-Dog said, putting some on his plate. "Protein helps the hangover."

"Don't ever let me drink again." Glenn groaned and I rubbed his shoulder as we all chuckled. I caught Ricks' eye again and he smiled at me. I smiled back and tucked in to my eggs. I told myself not to be so immature. We were adults and these things happened. Nothing had changed, not really.

With that, I pushed any thoughts of the night before from my head.

Shane joined us at the table as Jenner came in, looking happier than he had in a long time. I watched him over my cup as I sipped, noting how he looked at Lori with a smile. I looked to her and watched her avoid his gaze, then returned to him and watched his face fall.

It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened last night.

"Doctor," Dale said. "I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing…"

"But you will anyway."

"We didn't come here for the eggs." Andrea said.

Jenner sighed, pouring himself a coffee, and told us to follow him. He led us back to the room full of computer stations.

"Vi, give me playback of TS-19." Jenner said. Vi repeated the command and obeyed.

A large screen on the wall lit up with a picture of what looked a bit like an X-Ray. It showed the outline of a head, focusing on the brain. A sign at the bottom said MRI virtual camera.

"Few people ever got a chance to see this." Jenner said. "Very few."

"Is that a brain?"Carl asked.

"An extraordinary one. Not that it matters in the end. Vi, E.I.V."

"Enhanced internal view." Vi said and the image shifted, showing the profile of the head and zooming in on the brain. Neurones filled the screen, lights dancing between the spidery legs that connected in an impossibly complex web.

"What are those lights?" Shane asked.

"It's a person's life. Experiences, memories. It's everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you. The thing that makes you unique and human."

"You don't make sense ever?" Daryl said.

"They're neurones." I said. "The lights are electrical impulses that control everything we do or think."

Jenner nodded.

"Electric impulses in the brain that carry all messages. They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death."

"Death?" Rick said, approaching him. "That's what this is? A vigil."

"Yes. Or rather the playback of a vigil."

"This person died? Who?" Andrea said.

"Test subject 19. Someone bitten and infected…and volunteered to have us record the process. Vi, scan forward to the first event."

The screen changed, zooming out again and showing the whole head in profile. Vines of black were growing from the base of the brain, the brain stem.

"What is that?" Glenn said.

"It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands haemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs." The image of the brain grew steadily darker as the veins grew out and the person convulsed until the brain went completely black.

"Then death." Jenner said. I rubbed my neck, swallowing. "Everything you ever were or ever will be…gone."

Andrea looked down and I moved over to her, clasping a hand on her shoulder.

"Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia asked her mother.

"Yes."

"Vi, scan ahead to the second event." Jenner said. The computer obeyed. "The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient…it was two hours, one minute and seven seconds…"

We watched as the brain began to light up again, this time red. The lights were a lot dimmer than before and focused at the brain stem.

"It restarts the brain?" Lori said, shocked.

"No, just the brain stem." Jenner said. "Basically, it gets them up and moving."

"But they're not alive?" Rick said.

"You tell me." He gestured to the screen.

"It's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark."

"Dark means no electrical impulses, which means no…you." I said.

"Yes. Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part…that doesn't come back. The you part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct."

As the walker on the screen began to grow more active. A gun muzzle came into view and a bullet carved a line through the brain.

"God. What was that?" Carol asked.

"He shot his patient in the head." Andrea said. "Didn't you?"

Jenner didn't answer.

"Vi, power down the main screen and the workstations."

The screen turned off and the lights around the computers disappeared.

"You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea said, almost accusingly.

"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal."

"Or the wrath of God?" Jacqui said.

"There is that."

"Somebody must know something. Somebody somewhere." Andrea said.

"There are others, right?" Carol said. "Other facilities?"

"There may be some. People like me."

"But you don't know? How can you not know?" Rick said.

"Everything went down." Jenner explained. "Communications, directives…all of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month."

"So it's not just here." Andrea said. "There's nothing left anywhere? Nothing? That's what you're really saying, right?"

Jenner said nothing, a long silence the only answer we needed. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. Sure, I hadn't been expecting there to even be one person, but finding out everything was gone was still jarring.

"Jesus." Andrea said.

"Man, I'm gonna get shit-faced drunk again." Daryl said.

"I might join you." I said, sighing.

"Dr. Jenner." Dale said, moving towards an electronic clock on the wall. "I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but…that clock…It's counting down. What happens at zero?"

Jenner rubbed his face.

"The basement generators…they run out of fuel."

"And then?" Rick asked, but Jenner ignored him, leaving the room. I began to feel uneasy. "Vi, what happens when the power runs out?"

"When the power runs out," Vi said. "Facility-wide decontamination will occur."

Rick, Glenn and I and some others raced straight to the generators. My heart wouldn't stop pounding against my sternum and I was covered in a cold sweat. I had a really bad feeling about this.

"Decontamination?"Glenn said. "What does that mean?"

"I don't mean to freak anyone out, but decontamination frequently involves fire." I said. Glenn gave me a horrified look.

"I don't like the way Jenner clammed up." Shane added. "The way he just wandered off like that."

"What's wrong with him?" T-Dog said. "Seriously, man, is he nuts, medicated, what?"

We moved into the generator room, filled with machinery and fuel tanks. Rick moved to the one attached to the machines and shook it.

"It's empty."

We checked the other tanks, but they were all useless. Then the lights went out.

"What the hell?" I said.

"Hey, you guys kill the lights?" Glenn said.

"Nah, it just went out." Shane told him.

"Anything?" Rick said.

"Yeah," T-Dog said. "A lot of dead generators and more empty fuel drums than I can count."

"It can't be down to just that one." Shane said.

We left the generator room and headed back up to the computer room, coming out and seeing Jenner and the others heading in.

"Rick?" Lori said.

"Jenner, what's happening?" Rick said as Jenner reached him.

"The system is dropping all nonessential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. That started as we approached the half-hour mark." He looked up, pointing to the clock which now read 31 minutes. "Right on schedule."

He took a drink of the whiskey and stopped, halting everyone else.

"It was the French."

"What?" Andrea said.

"They were the last to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs till the end. They thought they were close to a solution."

"What happened?" I said as we moved between the computer stations.

"The same thing that's happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?"

"Let me tell you something-" Shane said, seething as he headed after Jenner. Rick grabbed him.

"To hell with it, Shane." He said. "I don't even care. Lori, grab our things. Everybody, get your stuff. We're getting out of here now!"

"Oh, okay." Jacqui said. I turned, heading to the doors with everyone else when alarms began blaring, accompanied by flashing red lights. I blanched.

"What's that?"

"30 minutes to decontamination." Vi said.

"Doc, what's going on here?" Daryl said.

"Everybody," Shane yelled. "Y'all heard Rick. Get your stuff and let's go! Go now! Go!"

We bolted again, but gears whirred and churned. Shutters fell down over the doors, shutting us in.

"Did you just lock us in?" Glenn said, staring in shock. Jenner moved to a computer and turned it on.

"We've hit the 30-minute window. I am recording." He said to the screen.

"You son of a bitch!" Daryl yelled, running at him.

"Shane!" Rick pointed at Daryl calling for his friend to stop him. We all raced to converge as Shane and T-Dog held Daryl back. Jenner straightened his lab coat.

"Jenner." Rick said, jaw clenched. "Open that door now."

He stood.

"There's no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed."

"Well, open the damn things."

"That's not something I control. The computers do. I told you once that front door closed, it wouldn't open again. You heard me say that."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, remembering that he had indeed said that.

"It's better this way."

"What is?" Rick said, seething. "What happens in 28 minutes?"

Jenner ignored him and turned back to the computer, typing away at the keyboard.

Shane grabbed him and pulled him away.

"What happens in 28 minutes?!" Rick yelled.

"You know what this place is?" Jenner shouted, staring down at Rick. I closed my eyes, dreading what was coming. "We protected the public for very nasty stuff! Weaponised smallpox. Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country. Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!"

He sighed.

"In the event of a catastrophic power failure…in a terrorist attack, for example…H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."

I swallowed, hugging myself so tightly that my fingernails left crescents in my arms.

"H.I.T.s?" Rick said.

"Vi, define."

"H.I.T.s. High-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consists of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear." I closed my eyes, pushing tears down my cheeks. Sophia and Carol sobbed uncontrollably. "The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between 5000 and 6000 degrees and is used when the greatest loss of life and damage to structure is desired."

I rubbed away the tears and held a shaking hand to my face, looking past Jenner and sharing a look with Rick.

"It sets the air on fire." Jenner said. "No pain. An end to sorrow, grief, regret."

He looked at Rick.

"Everything."


	17. Ts-19: Part 3

S1E6P3

Daryl threw his whiskey at the closed doors and it smashed, sending glass and alcohol everywhere.

"Open the damn door!" He screamed, but Jenner was resolute. He was a man ready to die so no threat would sway him. Shane ran to join him at the doors with an axe and began swinging.

"You should have left well enough alone." Jenner said. "It would've been so much easier."

"Easier for who?" Lori said, angrily. She and Carol sat against the computer banks with their children in their arms.

"All of you." He said. "You know what's out there…A short, brutal life and an agonising death. You know what this does. You've seen it. Is that really what you want for your wife and son?"

Rick leaned towards him.

"I don't want this." He spat, rubbing his face.

"Can't make a dent." Shane said from the doors.

"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher."

"Well, your head ain't!" Daryl yelled, running at him with the axe. Everyone jumped on him, including me. I grabbed just below the head of the axe and was almost lifted off of my feet as we dragged Daryl back. Eventually he stopped and I let go, struggling to breathe. The clock was still counting down to our death.

I'd never see Hailey, or Luke, or Riley again. I was going to die here, trapped in the CDC and reduced to nothing but ash. They'd never know what had happened to me. Maybe they'd do what I did and choose to believe I was alive until they saw proof otherwise.

But there would be no proof. They'd find no body, no evidence. They could walk past the ruins of the building with no idea I had died inside.

I felt sick and leaned against the workstation, my knees quivering.

"You do want this." Jenner said, looking at Rick. I looked between them. "Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead."

Rick looked to Lori, who stared at him wide eyed, before fleetingly looking at me.

"What?" Shane said. "You really said that? After all your big talk?"

"I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?"

I swallowed, raking a hand through my hair.

"There is no hope. There never was." Jenner argued.

"There is always hope." Rick said. "Maybe it won't be you, maybe not here, but somebody somewhere-"

"What part of 'everything's gone' do you not understand?" Andrea said.

"Listen to your friend. She gets it." Jenner said. "This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event."

"Only if we let it be." I spat, tears falling down my cheeks. I angrily wiped them away. "You've given up, that much is clear. I haven't and looking around this room I see a hell of a lot of people who want to live. My brother and my sister and her child are out there and I intend to find them. One day I will. But until then I will survive and I will fight for the life I am lucky to have."

Jenner looked away.

"This isn't an extinction. If it were we'd be dead already. But we're not, so we survive. It's how we honour those who didn't."

When I finished nobody had anything to say. Andrea avoided my gaze and Carols' sobs filled the space.

"This isn't right." She sobbed. "You can't just keep us here."

Jenner leaned forward, looking at her.

"One tiny moment…a millisecond. No pain." He said, speaking soothingly.

"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this."

"Wouldn't it be kinder?" He argued, frowning. "More compassionate to just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?"

I heard a gun cocking and turned to see Shane striding towards Jenner with a shotgun in his hands.

"Shane, no!" Rick yelled, trying to get between them.

"Out of the way, Rick." Shane put the shotgun barrel at Jenners face. "Stay out of my way! Open that door or I'm going to blow your head off. Do you hear me?"

"Brother," Rick said. "Brother, this is not the way you do this. We will never get out of here."

"Shane, listen to him." I said.

"It's too late." Shane growled.

"He dies, we all…"

Rick struggled with Shane, trying to divert the guns' aim.

"…we all die! Shane!"

The gun unloaded, blowing a computer screen to pieces. I pressed my hands over my ears as he continued to shoot at nothing until Rick slammed the butt of the gun into his head. He stood over his best friend, ready to strike again.

"Are you done now? Are you done?"

"Yeah," Shane spat. "I guess we all are."

Rick moved aside and let Shane stand. He looked around at us, taking in the scared and desperate faces. I held his gaze when he looked at me. He nodded and turned back to Jenner.

"I think you're lying."

"What?" Jenner frowned.

"You're lying. About no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter." Rick said. "It always matters. You stayed when the others ran. Why?"

"Not because I wanted to." Jenner said, standing. "I made a promise. To her."

He pointed at the blank screen.

"My wife."

My jaw dropped.

"Test subject 19 was your wife?" Lori said. He nodded.

"I'm so sorry." I said, rubbing my chest.

"She begged me to keep going as long as I could." He shrugged, eyes watering. "How could I say no?"

A clatter echoed from the doors and I turned to see Daryl was banging the axe against the doors again.

"She was dying." Jenner continued. "It should've been me on that table. I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here. In our field, she was an Einstein. Me? I'm just…Edwin Jenner. She could have done something about this. Not me."

"Your wife didn't have a choice." Rick said. "You do. That's all we want. A choice, a chance. Let us keep trying as long as we can."

Jenner held his gaze, then looked down and sighed.

"I told you topside's locked down. I can't open those."

He moved to a desk and tapped his card to a scanner, typing in a code. Daryl halted his swinging as the shutters rose.

"Come on, let's go!" He yelled, heading through the door.

Everyone started racing for the door but I hesitated seeing Rick look back at Jenner.

"Rick, come on." I said.

"There's your chance." Jenner said. "Take it."

"I'm grateful." Rick said.

"The day will come when you won't be."

Jenner took Ricks' hand and pulled him close, whispering something into his ear.

"Come on!" Glenn yelled. "Hey, we've got four minutes left! Come on!"

I raced up the ramp then, stopping next to Glenn when I noticed Jacqui pulling away.

"I'm staying, sweetie." She said to T-Dog.

"But that's insane!"

"No." She shook her head. "It's completely sane. For the first time in a long time. I'm not ending up like Jim and Amy."

I closed my eyes and looked away, angry at the thought of her giving up but respectful of her decision. The world was scary and she'd seen firsthand the progression of infection in Jim. I couldn't blame her, even if I'd never choose that.

"There's no time to argue," She said. "And no point, not if you want to get out. Just get out."

"Dog, come on, man." Shane said, taking T-Dogs' arm and pulling him out of the room.

"I'm staying too." Andrea said.

This was less of a surprise to me, freshly bereaved and having expressed a pessimistic view, Andrea had already given up in my opinion. I'd hoped to have the chance to make her see things differently, but with less than four minutes to go, we didn't have the time.

"Andrea, no." Dale said. "Just go. Go!" He yelled at us and we didn't hesitate. We ran through the building and up into the lobby in which we had met Jenner for the first time.

T-Dog tried to get the shuttered doors open but they didn't respond as Jenner had said. Daryl and Shane turned to the windows and tried to smash them, but it barely left a dent.

"Dog, get down." Shane said, cocking the shotgun. He fired at the window, leaving a circle of scratches but nothing more. "Jesus."

"The glass won't break?" Sophia said, looking at her mum in fear.

"Rick, I might have something." Carol said, moving away from Sophia and digging through her bag. I put an arm around her daughter, who was shaking.

"Carol, I don't think a nail file's going to do it." Shane said.

"Your first morning at camp," She said, ignoring Shane. "When I washed your uniform, I found this in your pocket."

She pulled out the strange mini canon-ball grenade I'd completely forgotten about and held it out to Rick. He gestured for everyone to move back and took it to the glass, pulling the ring and letting it go.

"Oh…" He swallowed, racing away from the window. "Get down! Get down!"

Rick raced across the room and was thrown when the grenade blew, shattering the window pane. No one wasted any time in racing from the building and past the bodies – living and dead – and back to the cars. I drew my dagger and thrust it into the head of a Walker that got too close, then piled into the RV with Glenn, Rick and his family. After a moment we saw Andrea and Dale climb out of the building and began yelling for them to hurry. Rick glanced at his watch and I grabbed his wrist to see, oblivious to the look Lori gave me. We had seconds.

"Get down!" I yelled.

"Dale, get down. Down!" Rick added. Everyone was yelling to find cover and as those up front ducked down in their seats, I dropped to the ground, leaning against the RV wall and wrapping my arms around my head.

When the building blew, the RV shook and a sound like thunder but a hundred times louder hammered through my head. It echoed in my brain long after the sound had gone and we slowly rose.

The CDC was nothing but a pile of flaming rubble. Dale and Andrea stood from behind a pile of sandbags and quickly jumped into the very crowded RV. We all exchanged looks, expressions of shock and relief, looks almost indescribable because it was the face of people who had escaped near-death.

After a few moments, Rick started the RV and we turned away from the CDC, heading into the unknown. If the CDC had taught me anything, it was that we couldn't give up. We may not find help anywhere else. Andrea could be right to believe everything is gone. But we weren't gone. We would rebuild, for the children, for the next generation.

It's how we survive.

* * *

 _Authors note: So! Season 1 is finished :). I'm excited to get on to season 2 as things are going to change a bit more..._


	18. A bump in the road: Part 1

_Authors note: So I'm diverting a bit from the show here. I know very little time passes between season 1 and 2 but for the sake of my story I'm putting a month between. This happens in that period of time :)_

* * *

A bump in the road: Part 1

I stared at the photo of my family, trying to marry what they really looked like with my memories. It had been nearly two months since I'd seen them, which didn't sound like a crazy amount of time, but it felt like years.

A month ago we'd left the CDC. We'd spent most of that time trying to scavenge enough food and water for all of us, as well as fuel. It made progress slow going, though what that progress was I still wasn't certain. Shane continued to bang on about Fort Benning and Rick was looking inclined to agree, though I didn't miss the looks he gave me whenever they mentioned it.

I wasn't stupid. I knew this assumption about soldiers was based purely on my experience with the men who kidnapped me and that it wasn't true to all of them, but anytime I thought of setting foot in an army camp, I broke out in a cold sweat. The closer we got, the worse my nightmares became until I was jerking awake every night, seeing their jeering faces, hearing their taunts, feeling their wandering hands…

I folded the photo and stuffed it in my bag, fed up with dwelling on such morbid thoughts. I was in the RV with Dale, Andrea and Glenn and settled into reading one of the books I'd taken from the CDC. Even I could grow bored of I-spy, it seemed.

I was engrossed in Agatha Christie when the RV juddered to a halt.

"Oh, what now?" I groaned, folding a corner down and making my way to the front.

"Not sure." Dale said, turning off the engine. "I'll CB those ahead if you want to have a look?"

I nodded and exited the RV. We were on a fairly small stretch of road surrounded by trees and I eyed them suspiciously, hand on the hilt of my dagger. I saw no movement and there were no walkers wandering around. The area seemed deserted.

I opened the engine hatch and wafted away some of the steam, peering in for an initial assessment.

"Oh, bloody hell." I moaned. I wouldn't need to dig any deeper. It was the hose again. We'd replaced the old one and this one was already knackered. Typical.

"What is it?" Dale said, coming out with the tools. I waved him away.

"Hose is buggered again. Those won't do any good."

Dale looked to the sky as if God would bless us with a working hose. The others stopped behind us and Ricks' truck came back. He got out of the car along with Lori, Carol and the kids, bracing his hands on his hips as he headed towards us.

"Ava, what's the verdict?"

"We need a new hose."

He frowned.

"Didn't we just get a new hose?"

"Yep. Now we need another one."

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." Shane said, rubbing his head and storming off towards the tree line. Rick looked down both stretches of the road but there was nothing but our own vehicles.

"We could go on ahead, see if we can find anything." He said.

"What're the odds of you finding what we need?" Shane said.

"Better than if we just sit here." I argued. "I'll go with you. Even if the hose doesn't fit the RV, I might be able to jury-rig it."

Rick nodded.

"Alright. We have a plan. We'll go until we find something but won't be back any later than tomorrow morning. Sun's already setting, so getting back before dark ain't an option."

"We should walk." I said. "We don't have enough fuel as it is and I know how to move in the dark without getting caught. Besides, this road is pretty deserted."

"I'm not sure I'm happy with that." Lori said. "You never know what might sneak up on you."

"Nah, Ava's right. We don't have the fuel to spare." Shane said. Rick nodded.

"I'll be fine."

Lori nodded, looking down and moving to hug Carl. Rick loitered as if he wanted to say something, then went to the truck and packed a bag. I grabbed my own and left the RV as Rick hooked a machete to his belt.

"We'll be back tomorrow." He said as we started heading down the track. Soon the group was far behind us and I could hear nothing but the rustling of trees and the echoing of our own feet. I found myself attuning to being alone again, even if Rick was there. I heard every twig snap and looked over my shoulder more often.

"I guess we'll walk until the sun gets pretty low, then light a fire and set up camp. We'll have to take watches by night so someone's always awake." I said.

"How did that work when you were alone?" He asked. I shrugged.

"You had to just hope anything that crept up on you would wake you up. You learn to sleep with one eye open."

He nodded and we continued in silence. I searched for something to say, but my mind was completely blank. This was the first time we'd been alone since that night at the C.D.C. I still blushed like a teenage girl whenever I thought of it.

"That ex of yours," Rick said, startling me from my thoughts. "What was his name?"

I blinked, surprised by his choice of small talk but grateful for something to say.

"Bradley. Why?"

He shrugged.

"Just wondering."

We fell silent again, but only for a few seconds. I chuckled.

"When I found out about him, I went straight to Luke, burst in on him as he got out the shower. I told him that Bradley had cheated on me and he went into a rage promising to smash his teeth out and beat him to a pulp…It might have felt more threatening if he hadn't been wearing a little mermaid towel around his waist."

Rick chuckled.

"Why did he have a Disney towel?"

"It was Riley's. When Hailey was still living in England, Luke used to babysit her all the time. I didn't get the chance that often. Bradley didn't want to look after a child. It was one of the things we argued about most – go figure."

"What's Riley like?"

I smiled, thinking of my niece and pulled the photo of them out of my bag. I handed it to Rick.

"Wow. You and Luke look practically identical – apart from the difference in genders, of course."

I grinned. Luke had my blue eyes and brown hair, but Hailey looked significantly different. She had darker skin and crazy curly black hair. Riley was the same, but slightly paler, her skin more like milky coffee.

"Yeah. Hailey's our half-sister but her dad died when she was an infant. My dad was the only father she knew, so we never considered the halves." I pointed to Riley. "She was six in that picture. She's twelve now. Hailey was only 19 when she was born. Some asshole seduced her when she was on holiday in America – hence her moving here."

"How come she didn't move straight away?"

"Like I said, the dad was an asshole. He ignored her for years then suddenly contacted her wanting to pick up where they'd left off. At first Hailey was dead against it, but he swayed her. He stayed with them for two years then disappeared again but Hailey never came back."

"Wow. You Sallow's don't have any luck with men do you?" Rick chuckled, giving the photo back to me. I snorted.

"Luke does. He's the one always dumping people – not cruelly. He just struggles to find the right one. I remember him complaining once and Hailey had come back to visit after her man left again. She blew up at him and said: 'YOU'RE complaining?! At least you have nice guys begging for a date! All we get are pricks!'"

We both laughed at that. I remembered that night vividly because it was the last time the three of us had spent together until the weeks before the outbreak. Years had passed between.

"Anyway," I said, feeling a pinch of sadness in my heart. "What about your family? What was Carl like when he was younger?"

Rick immediately smiled in that way that only a parent could. I'd seen it plenty of times on Haileys' face and I'd always been jealous.

"He was a handful." He said. "He always had to have his way and it was usually doing the most dangerous thing possible."

I smirked.

"Like what?"

"Like… when he was six he was dead set on going sky-diving for his seventh birthday. When he didn't get that he took a piece of tarp and climbed his climbing frame and jumped from there."

I laughed, trying to imagine Carl doing that now. I could only imagine the scolding he got for that. I shook my head and looked up at Rick.

"Sounds like you had a real time of it."

Rick nodded, suppressing a smirk.

"Yeah, it was…a lot."

I turned back to the road, doing a quick scan for the dead, but I still saw nothing. Well, no Walkers. Up a head I noticed something else.

"Is that a house?" I said.

Rick squinted ahead and started to jog up the rest of the road. I followed and we stopped before a gap in the trees that led to a wooden cabin complete with a porch and hanging baskets – sadly dead. There was a red truck out front that was covered in rust. I had low hopes that the hose in there would be a match.

"That truck-" Rick started.

"Not sure. The state of it isn't a good sign but the engine could be alright. I'll have a look."

We headed over to the truck and I tested the door.

"Too much to hope it was open." I sighed.

"Well, there's a chance the keys are inside." Rick said, drawing the machete and heading up the porch. I grabbed my dagger as I followed him. He nudged the front door open and we edged inside, glancing both ways. To the right was a cute kitchen with a gingham table cloth over the kitchen table. To the left was a living room full of threadbare armchairs and crocheted blankets. It looked untouched.

We crept through the cabin and found a bathroom and a bedroom but nothing else. The final door opened onto a staircase that led down into a basement. Rick looked at me.

"I doubt the keys are down there." He said. I shrugged.

"Worth a look anyway, though."

The wooden stairs creaked with every step and reaching the bottom, I pulled the light switch on instinct and was surprised when it actually turned on. Rick looked back at me and we shared a surprised look.

Looking further around the basement, it seemed whoever had lived here had had a beginners survival kit.

There were a few boxes of dried food and some cans of soup as well as a large box of medical supplies, blankets, batteries, torches – all sorts of things we'd find useful. Rick grinned.

"I suggest we take the truck back and then take its hose."

"I agree. Though I still need to make sure the hose is a match."

"Either way, we'll be taking this back with us."

I nodded, heading to the green first-aid box. I unclipped it and dug around inside, slowly grinning.

"Bandages, antiseptic wipes, anti-biotics, paracetamol, disposable gloves, antiseptic cream – even scissors and a thermometer. We hit the jackpot here." I said.

"Great. We'd better find those keys though."

I nodded and we headed back upstairs, turning the place apart until I found a spare key in the Welsh Dresser in the kitchen.

"Found them!" I called and Rick ambled in from the living room flicking through a magazine. "What's that?"

Rick raised a brow at me and showed me the cover. I scoffed. It was a vintage play boy.

"I reckon an elderly couple lived here and the husband was keeping these a secret. Found them under the couch cushion."

I shook my head and peeked over his arm at it. My eyes widened.

"Blimey."

Rick chuckled at me and I couldn't help grinning as I pushed open the front door. That grin fell almost instantly.


	19. A bump in the road: Part 2

A bump in the road: Part 2

I froze in the doorway, staring at the tree line across the road. Walkers were pouring from between the trees, already thick across the road and heading straight for the cabin.

"Oh my God." Rick said, grabbing my arm and pulling me back inside. He didn't stop until we were racing down the basement stairs, the door shut firmly behind us.

While Rick braced with door with a plank of wood I ran to the small window near the ceiling. I had to stand on the first-aid kit to see out and felt my heart start to race as hundreds of walkers shuffled past. I unhooked the curtain over it and pulled it shut.

Rick and I stood side by side in the basement, looking at the ceiling as groans and crashes and creaks and smashes echoed back down to us. Did the walkers know we were here or were they simply walking into the cabin, trying to get through? They weren't exactly clever.

"What do we do now?" I whispered, still staring at the ceiling. Rick didn't answer straight away, moving to one of the shelves and testing a lantern sat there. It turned on.

"Turn the light off." He said and I obliged, plunging us into darkness. The lantern provided a glow that meant we could see, but it was dim enough to be unnoticed by the dead. I crept to the bottom of the stairs, not risking standing on it considering how creaky they were. The dead continued to moan.

"I guess we have to wait them out." Rick said, keeping his voice low.

We moved around in silence, pulling blankets out and setting up a bed of sorts. I found another lantern and added it to the first in the centre of the room before opening two cans of soup.

"Ava." Rick said, drawing my attention back to the shelves. Rick had moved aside a box of blankets and cocked a brow at me as he held up a large bottle of Jack Daniels. I grinned.

"I haven't had whiskey in so long." I said,

We sat on the blankets, legs stretched before us, backs against the wall, and shared the soup and whiskey. It was an odd combination, drinking cold tomato soup from a can and then hard liquor. It wasn't long before I was feeling it.

"What was it like?" Rick said, frowning at the lanterns. He looked as tipsy as I felt.

"What was what like?"

"When all this first happened. When the world went to shit."

I sighed, puffing my cheeks out as I did.

"It was…crazy. I guess…the only word I can give to sum it up is terrifying."

Rick nodded, taking a swig before handing me the bottle. I took a mouthful.

"When I woke up everywhere was deserted. Bodies littered the streets. It was like I'd walked into a nightmare." He said.

"We didn't know what was happening at first." I said, handing the bottle back to Rick. "Something was wrong – we knew that much. It wasn't until people started shooting up the streets that we knew it was serious." I sighed, shifting so I was more upright, my shoulder brushing his. "And it wasn't until we saw the cities burning that we knew it was the end."

We fell into silence again, the only sound the sloshing of whiskey as Rick took a drink. I glanced at the bottle and saw we'd drunk at least a third of the 1litre bottle. The sounds of the dead had lessened, but we still heard the occasional groan. Either way, it was late now. We'd spend the night and then go back. Hopefully the walkers would be gone or at least in manageable numbers.

"Can I ask you something?" Rick asked.

"Sure." I shrugged.

"Lori and Shane…"

I froze, glancing at him but quickly looking away.

"I'll take that as a yes." He sighed.

"How did you know?"

"Same way you did. I could tell just by looking. I think I just didn't want to accept it at first."

"At first?"

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed before turning to me.

"We're not the same, not since the outbreak. I thought we'd get better but all the problems we'd had before just seem to get worse. And…I don't think I love her anymore."

"I'm so sorry, Rick." I said, though he looked at me and he didn't look upset. He looked weary but content. I swallowed, thinking of that night at the CDC again and cursing my wandering mind. I reached across him to grab the whiskey but was distracted when his hand cupped my cheek.

I gasped, surprised, and looked up at him. Then he was kissing me.

I shouldn't have let him – he was still with Lori, after all. Later I'd blame the alcohol, but the truth was that I really wanted it. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, his hands on my face. So for that one minute I let myself have what I wanted because I knew tomorrow I'd have to give it up.

When we broke the kiss I pulled back, biting my lip. We stared at each other, uncertainty in our eyes and heat in our cheeks.

"We shouldn't have done that." I said after a while. Rick swallowed.

"No, we shouldn't have."

We sat in silence for a while longer, but it wasn't awkward. It was filled with our own tortured thoughts. I for one was arguing with myself, trying to fight the desire to kiss him again. I groaned.

"Pass the bottle."


	20. A bump in the road: Part 3

_Authors note: Sorry it's another short one but after this we're getting into Season 2 :)_

* * *

A bump in the road: Part 3

I opened my eyes the next day and immediately ran to the corner of the room where there was a very handy bucket. Rick jerked upright at the sound of me throwing up, looking around in bleary-eyed confusion until he spotted me in the corner. He quickly averted his gaze.

"Oh…my…God…" I groaned, falling away from the bucket and cradling my head in my hands. My brain felt like it had been massaged with a mallet. Rick blinked slowly, rubbing his own head as he swayed. The whiskey bottle was beside the blankets more than half empty. We'd collectively drunken over half a litre of whiskey.

"Christ." I said, holding it up. "How are we not dead?"

"You sure we're not." Rick said, grinding the heel of his palms against his eyes. I went to chuckle, but it hurt too much. Plus I'd grown distracted by the fact Rick wasn't wearing a shirt. In fact, he wasn't wearing anything…

"Oh, fuck." I said, falling back onto my arse as foggy memories returned to me. My last clear memory was the kiss, but then we kept drinking and things got fuzzy.

But we'd done it. I knew we had because I wasn't wearing anything either.

Rick seemed to realise what had happened not long after I had and we both sat for a moment in shock.

"Well," He said, clearing his throat. "We should…probably get dressed."

And we did. We dressed and tidied after downing a paracetamol from the first-aid kit – which only mellowed the pain – and prepared to emerge from the basement. Rick looked at me.

"I don't…I mean…"

"Rick, we don't have to talk about it. Not now. Let's just get out of the basement." I said, flushing.

He nodded, grabbing his machete as we started up the creaky stairs. I took the plank from him when he unwedged the door and waited in silence as he nudged it open. Light flooded over us and I winced, grabbing my dagger with one hand and my head with the other. He edged out and I followed.

"Blimey." I said, looking around the cabin. The dead had barged through it, the doors ripped from their hinges, blood smeared on the walls. Luckily there didn't seem to be any left.

"You got the keys."

I pulled them from my pocket and nodded. We walked through what was left of the doorway and saw the truck was thankfully still in one piece. I headed straight for it, unlocking it and popping the hood. Rick kept watch for the dead as I surveyed the engine. I bit my lip.

"It should be alright with some duct tape as well, but it won't last forever. We'll have to keep an eye out for an abandoned truck on the road or something.

"Alright." Rick nodded. "Let's load up quick and get the hell out of here."

We filled the back of the truck with the cans of food and the first aid kit, then got in the car and drove off. I guided the car onto the road and started it steadily back towards the others. At first we travelled in silence, but we'd have to talk eventually and it had to be before we got back.

"So." I said, unsure really of what to say. "Last night."

"Yeah…" Was all Rick said. I couldn't blame him. I couldn't think of a single thing to say myself. After opening and closing my mouth like a fish for a few minutes I huffed and stopped the car. "What're you doing?"

"I can't think of what to say, but we need to talk before we get back because…"

He knew why and nodded. I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Look." Rick said. "We're adults. We just have to be adults about this. It happened in the heat of the moment…I don't…"

"You're right." I said, nodding. "It was the heat of the moment. We were drunk and we were talking about Shane and Lori. It…It isn't anything to be ashamed of but I get it if you just want to forget about it and move on."

"Do you want to forget about it?"

"Truth be told, I hardly remember it as is." I sighed. Rick chuckled.

"I guess…I do want to try with Lori – for Carls' sake. We haven't exactly talked about it since I came back. We've been too busy trying to survive."

I nodded.

"I get that." I said, starting the engine and ignoring the twinge of pain in my heart. "You've got to do what's best for your son but Rick, you should really talk to Lori – especially about Shane. I don't think what they had ended when you came back."

He frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Back at the CDC. The way they were acting that morning. It felt to me like they'd slept together that night."

Rick was silent as the truck started back down the road.

"If it's any consolation, they were both drunk and it seemed to me like Lori regretted it."

Rick nodded.

"Thank you."

I nodded back, wondering how things would be now. I'd slept with Rick and the more time that passed, the more I remembered of it, the more I wanted to recall. I'd been right when we'd kissed that night. I'd had last night with Rick, but today I had to give him up.


	21. What lies ahead: Part 1

S2E1P1

"Move over." I said, nudging Glenn with my elbow. He squished closer to the door so that I could join him at the front of the RV. T-Dog, Andrea and Shane were in the back, Daryl on his bike and Rick and Carol and their families were in the truck. We'd left the other vehicles to conserve fuel and the six of us had been crammed in the RV for hours.

"I swear to God Ava, if you make us play I-Spy again I'm going to scream." He said, banging his head against the head rest.

"Well, I'm struggling not to feel offended, Glenn. Here I was thinking our games of I-Spy where the highlight of the journey."

Glenn fought a smile and Dale chuckled. I elbowed him again. He reminded me a lot of my brother. Luke was always groaning about my games as well.

"How about we play never have I ever?"

"Isn't that a drinking game?"

"Only if you have alcohol. It'll just be fun for now."

"Yeah. Hell if I'm having alcohol again." He said, recalling the morning after at the CDC. I smirked.

"So. Never have I ever…stolen something – before the outbreak, of course."

Glenn just looked at me and shook his head. Dale raised his hand. I gaped at him.

"Dale." I said scoldingly. He chuckled.

"What'd you steal?" Glenn asked, leaning forward, but Dale's face instantly fell.

"Oh jeez." He said and we all turned forward. My face fell. The highway was blocked by hundreds of abandoned cars on both stretches of road, some upturned as if they'd gotten into a crash. "Aw no."

We stopped and Daryl sidled up beside us.

"See a way through?" Dale asked. Daryl looked forward then nodded for us to follow. We weaved between the abandoned vehicles at a snails pace and it was starting to look promising until the engine spluttered and squealed. Steam poured from the front and I groaned.

"I said it." Dale said, looking at me. "Didn't I say it?"

He had repeatedly said my hose wouldn't last and I hadn't argued, though I may have snapped at him. In my defence, I had been severely hung-over. Dale stopped the RV and we climbed out. I sighed at the engine.

"A thousand times. Dead in the water?" Dale said.

"Problem Dale?" Shane said as everyone left their vehicles and came to see what was wrong. I popped the front opened and wafted away the steam.

"Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of-" Dale looked around. "Okay that was dumb."

"If I can find a radiator hose on an empty stretch of road we can definitely find one here."

"There's a whole bunch of stuff we can find here." Daryl said.

"I can siphon more fuel from those cars for a start." T-Dog said.

"Maybe some water." Added Carol.

"Or food." Said Shane.

"This is a graveyard." Lori said, looking at everyone as if they were animals. "I don't know how I feel about this."

Everyone looked uneasy for a moment.

"I don't think these people would be selfish enough to begrudge us trying to survive after they died. I certainly wouldn't care if a survivor took stuff from my corpse. At least I'd be helping people after I was gone." I said, shrugging. Lori still didn't look sure but everyone else headed out to search the cars. Rick caught my eye briefly but I turned away, heading deeper into the sea of cars.

I peered through the windows, looking for anything useful. Dale told me he'd take care of the hose this time and I was grateful. When I looked into one car I frowned.

"What the-?"

I tried the door and it opened so I reached in and unlodged what I had found.

"The hell is that?" Daryl asked, sneaking up on me.

"I think it's a spear, though why the hell someone would have a spear I don't know."

"You'd be surprised." He grunted before moving on. I scoffed and tested the weight of the spear. It was light-weight and made of black plastic with a diamond shaped blade secured to the top. It was simple, it was sharp, and it was perfect.

I grinned, strumming my thumb against the blade. I almost sliced my finger open when Rick grabbed me.

"Get down!" He hissed, pushing me down. I had no idea what was happening but I trusted Rick had good reason. I dragged myself under the car next to Ricks, taking the spear with me. Seeing he was looking past me, I turned and saw Carl and Sophia under the cars on the other side. It wasn't long before I saw what Rick was freaking out about.

Walkers shuffled between the cars thickly. I shared a look with Rick before turning to Carl and Sophia, mouthing for them to stay calm and quiet. The dead shuffled and groaned and even though I knew we were relatively safe, it didn't stop my heart from starting to beat faster.

Eventually they moved on, leaving us in tense silence as we waited for a safe moment to leave the underside. I turned back to Rick, who gestured for me to stay. I jumped when I heard a shriek and turned to see Sophia scrambling away from a walker who reached under the car for her.

I didn't hesitate. I scrambled from beneath the car and headed towards the verge down which Sophia had disappeared. Two walkers ambled after her as she ran into the forest. I used the spear to balance myself as I ran down the verge but stopped when I heard a groan, preparing to take out a walker behind me. I stopped when I saw it was Rick who had fallen after me.

I reached out and helped him up before we both turned to the forest, heading after Sophia. We darted through the woods, following the sounds of Sophias' ragged breaths and the walkers groans. When we grew closer I tripped, sending the spear flying into the ground where it stuck at an angle. Rick grabbed me up and pulled me on before I could go back for it. I made a mental note to try and retrieve it later.

When we found Sophia she almost screamed, having run straight into Rick. She reached for his gun.

"Shoot them!"

"No, no!" Rick said, holding her. "Those walkers on the road would hear it. Then it wouldn't be two, it'd be hundreds."

Rick picked her up and we kept running. I reached for my dagger to defend us and found an empty belt.

"Shit."

"What?" Rick said as we jumped down into a river.

"I didn't put my belt on. I don't have a weapon."

I suddenly felt exposed and vulnerable, cursing myself for having left it behind. How could I be so stupid?

"Sophia, you have to do exactly what I say. Hide in there." Rick said, pointing to an overhang of foliage. "Squeeze in tight. I'll draw them away."

"No, don't leave me."

"It's alright. Ava will stay with you."

I looked at Rick.

"You can't take them alone. Not without a weapon."

"Yes I can and I have my gun if it comes down to it, but you're unarmed. You two stay here and if I don't come back, head on back to the road, you hear me?"

I was reluctant to let him go alone and he knew it. He held my gaze, pleading for me to listen. I nodded tersely and helped Sophia get under the ledge. He taunted the walkers, drawing their attention. One fell into the water before us and immediately started after Rick. Soon enough there was nothing but the sound of trickling water.


	22. What lies ahead: Part 2

S2E1P2

 _Authors note: Thank you guys so much for the reviews! It's really great to hear that you're enjoying this story and it gives me the motivation I need to keep writing when I feel myself lagging :) I hope you enjoy the next chapter!_

* * *

Silence, that is, until a walker emerged from the stream.

Sophia screamed and it turned to us, its face falling off. It must have been in the water for months. I swallowed a gag, quickly testing the branches and roots dangling before us but finding none sturdy enough to kill.

"Sophia, stay quiet and don't move." I said, ducking from beneath the ledge and shoving the walker. Some of its skin came off in my hands and I grimaced, shaking the slime from my fingers.

My gaze darted around the area, searching for something I could use as a weapon but all the branches looked either too fragile or too large to rip away. The walker lunged for me and I jumped aside, losing my balance and falling under.

The cold was such a shock that it forced me to gasp, my lungs taking in a gush of water that burned my oesophagus. I fumbled forward as I stood, my survival instinct prompting me to keep moving as the walker snapped and growled. Wiping water from my eyes I saw it lunge and dodged to the side, falling to one knee and crying out as a rock sliced it open. It gave me and idea.

I took a deep breath and went under, scrabbling for the largest, sharpest rock I could find. Eventually I grabbed one and resurfaced only to have the walker land right on top of me. I managed to get a fresh breath before I went under, the walkers disgusting face inches from mine. I tried bashing its brains in like that, but the weight of the water made it impossible to get the momentum I needed to inflict damage.

My grip around its neck was shifting as the layers of its skin separated. Soon it would be on top of me, or I'd run out of oxygen and drown. Gritting my teeth, I didn't give myself the chance to consider the risks as I jammed the rock into its mouth.

I was lucky. It nearly got my fingers but I was quick enough to avoid it. Now it couldn't bite me. I let go of its throat and it immediately slammed its head into my mine, snuffling around as it tried to take a bite of me. I'm not ashamed to say I screamed.

I managed to keep its hands off of me as I shifted from beneath it and stood, gasping for breath. The walker stood as well and I went to look for a way to end it when Sophia screamed.

I turned to her and my jaw dropped in horror. She had left the overhang, perhaps thinking me dead beneath the water, and had climbed back onto dry land. Another two walkers had appeared and were heading straight for her.

"Sophia." I cried as she darted off through the trees, followed by the dead. "Shit, shit, shit." I cursed, wading through the stream. I ignored the walker following me, now essentially harmless, and dragged myself out of the water. I didn't hesitate in heading into a sprint after her, wincing with every step that fell on my injured knee. My wet clothing slowed me down, but I still managed to catch up with them just as Sophia was cornered at the edge of a cliff.

I jumped on one, wrapping my arms around its torso and throwing it head first into a tree, putting my body weight behind it. Thankfully, it was enough to break the skull and the body turned limp. We both fell into the dirt and I thanked God when I saw a knife on the walkers belt. I drew it, twisted and threw myself at the second walker which Sophia was cowering away from.

The blade went through the back of its head and its body fell, but I'd put too much into my attack. I'd pushed us both too far. My momentum coupled with the weight of the dead body sent us falling off the edge of the cliff.

I screamed, arms flailing for any purchase until I hit the slope and pain exploded through my body. I was only aware of the first few hits I took before I lost consciousness.

"Are you sure this is the right spot?" Daryl asked, poking about in the overhang.

"I left them here. I drew the walkers off in that direction up the creek." Rick said, pointing downstream.

"Without a paddle." Daryl grumbled. "Seems where we've landed."

Shane and Glenn walked through the trees, guns in hand should any walkers turn up. Rick ran a hand through his hair.

"They were gone by the time I got back here. I figured Ava had taken her back to the group. She knew the way."

"Uh, guys. Guys!" Glenn said, pointing downstream. They all turned to see a walker heavily decayed by the water start to wade towards them. It was struggling to support the weight of its own head which was unsurprising considering the massive rock jammed in its mouth.

"Since when do walkers eat rocks?" Shane said.

"They don't, dumbass."

Shane scowled at Daryl, but the archer simply shot the walker in the head. He and Rick then went to it and dragged it out of the water for a closer look.

"Didn't you say Ava was unarmed?" Daryl said, looking back at him. Rick nodded. "Seems to me this walker came outta the water and she had to deal with it."

"Why'd she jam the rock in its mouth instead of bashing its brains in?" Shane asked.

"Maybe…" Daryl dropped the body back into the stream. "He's a heavy sonovabitch. Maybe he pinned her underwater. Can't use brute force then. Only thing she could do was jam the jaws."

"Hey, guys. This area's wet." Glenn said, having moved past Shane. He gestured to an area clear of foliage that was near the overhang. Daryl moved over.

"There's footsteps going up this. This wets probably from Ava. Seems she was struggling."

"Was she bit?" Shane asked as Glenn helped both Daryl and Rick out of the water.

"How should I know? There's no blood."

"What now? Do we all follow the trail?" Shane asked. Rick shook his head.

"No. You and Glenn go back up to the highway. People are going to start panicking. Let them know we're on their trail doing everything we can but most of all, keep everybody calm."

"Keep them busy scavenging cars, think up a few other chores. I'll keep them busy." Shane said.

He and Glenn headed back up to the highway and Rick and Daryl pushed on after Ava and Sophia. Rick was struggling not to panic. He felt responsible, having left them alone and unarmed. He should have known there was a chance a walker could show up and from the looks of the creek Ava had almost died. But she wasn't dead and neither was Sophia. Telling himself that was the only thing keeping him going.

Further down the trail they found another walker, one with fresh blood on its face. Ricks' stomach clenched. Daryl shot it down.

"It fed recently."

"There's flesh caught in its teeth." Rick said, kneeling down beside it.

"What kind of flesh?"

"Only one way to know for sure." Rick sighed, pulling out a knife but Daryl stopped him.

"Here, I'll do it. How many kills you skin and gut in your life? Anyway, mine's sharper."

Daryl sliced open the walker and Rick covered his face, suppressing a gag as the stench filled the air. He continued to hack, then reached his hand inside.

"Yeah, had a big meal not long ago." He said. "I can feel it in there."

He pulled the stomach out and slapped it onto the ground next to the body. Rick groaned.

"Here's the gut bag."

"I got this." Rick said, taking his knife and cutting open the stomach. He spread it wide and they both reached in, digging around the blackened contents. Rick tried to focus on what was in there so he didn't begin to fear he had found pieces of Ava or Sophia. Daryl pulled something free and wiped the gunk from it.

"This gross bastard had himself a woodchuck for lunch." He said, showing Rick the skull. "At least we know."

"At least we know." Rick echoed, standing and looking out at the forest. There was no movement, no sound, nothing but the empty woods. So where was Sophia? Where was Ava?

Rick didn't want to think it, but he knew Ava would never leave Sophia alone and he knew she would have taken her back to the highway by now. If they were okay.

Rick closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It's getting dark. Can't track in this light, I'll just miss the trail." Daryl said. Rick didn't answer. Ava would keep Sophia safe. That's what he'd tell the people waiting on the highway, that's what he'd do to give them hope. Rick couldn't say he believed it himself. He was too afraid at the prospect of never seeing them again.


	23. What lies ahead: Part 3

_Authors note: Sorry this chapter's very short but they should be picking up from here :)_

S2E1P3

Rick and the others spent the best part of the next day searching for Ava and Sophia. They trekked down the creek, checked a tent and a church, both of which were dead ends. The land was so vast and full of places to hide. They could either be hiding somewhere, lying dead somewhere or wandering around dead somewhere. Rick couldn't take it anymore. The not knowing. The blame in everyone else's eyes.

He didn't need anyone else blaming him. He already blamed himself.

"I don't know if you're looking at me with…what?" Rick said, looking up at the statue of Jesus in the church. "Sadness? Scorn? Pity? Love?"

He sighed.

"Maybe it's just indifference. I guess you already know I'm not much of a believer. I guess I just chose to put my faith elsewhere. My family, mostly. My friends. My job."

Rick rubbed his head, struggling to find the words.

"The thing is, we- I could use a little something to help keep us going. Some kind of acknowledgement. Some indication I'm doing the right thing. You don't know how hard it is to know… Well, maybe you do."

He took a second, breathing deep as he battled with his own emotions. He was about to leave when he doubled back.

"Hey look, I don't need all the answers. Just a sign. Any sign will do but especially…" He trailed off, wiping tears from his eyes. "Just let me know they're okay. Give me something to have hope that I'll find them alive because if they're dead…If she's dead…"

Rick dropped into one of the pews, resting his arms on the one in front and cradled his head. He stayed like that for a few seconds before wiping his eyes, fixing them back on the statue of Christ.

"Of all the survivors left in this world, you couldn't have picked two less deserving people to get rid of."

He couldn't bring himself to say 'kill', even if he was losing hope. With that, he turned away from the statue and headed outside, where Shane and Carl sat on the stairs. Rick stroked Carls head as he walked past.

"Get what you needed?" Shane asked.

"Guess I'll find out."

They continued on down the creek but found no sign of Sophia or Ava. It was beginning to look hopeless, but then something caught their attention. A branch snapped and Rick and Shane turned their guns on it, peering through the trees for a walker. Instead they saw a deer creeping through the foliage. It shifted through the trees, then stepped out into a clearing nearby.

The three of them tiptoed around so they could get a better look and Rick smiled. It felt like a sign, but he then thought he was looking into it too much. Either way, his good mood lessened when he realised Ava would have loved to see this. Sophia too.

Shane raised his gun to take out the buck, but Rick stopped him, nodding to Carl who crept closer with an awed grin on his face. He looked back at his father and smiled. Rick smiled back.

Then a gunshot rang out and Carl went flying backwards. It took Rick a second to understand what had happened.

"Oh no." He said, trying to deny what his eyes told him. He shook his head. Not Carl. Not after everything. "No." He ran to the boy. "No, no, no!"

Not too far away at the bottom of a cliff, I was shocked awake by a gunshot.

I coughed violently, shrieking as my ribs were set on fire by the action. They were badly bruised if not broken. I wasn't any near a doctor, so it was hard to tell.

Biting my lip, I pushed myself onto my front, dipping my face into cold water that instantly woke me up. Above was a steep incline dotted with trees and foliage, but the ledge I had fallen from was very far above.

"Sophia?" I called, trying to keep my voice down, but there was no reply. I dragged myself onto my hands and feet and cried out as pain shot through my left leg. I fell backwards, splashing in the shallow stream and pushed myself up with my legs straight in front of me.

Blood was pouring from a long gash on my thigh. I gingerly pulled some of the material aside and saw it was deep, at least a centimetre. I swallowed, looking around me. The walker I had killed lay in the water a little further downstream. I managed to drag myself over to it with only minor pain but found the knife was gone.

"Shit." I said, running a shaking hand through my matted hair. I shrugged my coat off and wrapped it around my thigh, tying it tight and biting back a scream at the pressure. I tried to get up again, but I could barely kneel on it, let alone stand or walk.

I crawled back to the slope I had fallen down and searched for a hand-hold, grabbing a length of vine and wrapping it around my hand as I pulled myself up. It didn't work. I only succeeded in slicing my palm with it before it pulled free from the slope. I fell backwards, exhausted, in pain and alone.

I have to stay awake, I thought. I have to find Sophia and Rick and the others.

Just before I fell asleep, I looked to the side and saw a doll lying in a similar position to me, staring right at me. It was Sophia's.


	24. Bloodletting: Part 1

S2E2P1

Carl was shot.

He was _shot._

Rick could barely comprehend it. He just ran, his sons' body limp in his arms. Blood soaked through his shirt and all her could think was _first Ava, now Carl, first Sophia, now Carl._

Had he brought this on himself? For thinking first of Ava and not Sophia? Was this his punishment?

"Hey," Shane yelled, behind Rick with the man who had shot his son. "You move, shithead! Come on, get us there!"

Rick turned.

"How far? How far?" He yelled.

"Another half mile, that way! Hershel, talk to Hershel- He'll help your boy." The man said. His overweight stature made it difficult for him to keep up and he stumbled and fell as Rick rushed off in the direction he was told. "I'm sorry." He said as Shane dragged him up.

"Let's go. Come on!"

Rick raced on, struggling to run with the weight of his son, stopping only when he had to to readjust his grip. His muscles burned and he could barely breathe, but he didn't stop. He ran and ran until he reached a white house. It reminded him of the one he and Ava had found the horse at all those weeks ago, only bigger.

A group of people stood on the porch as Rick slowed before them.

"Was he bit?" A white-haired man asked.

"Shot," Rick panted. "By your man."

"Otis?" A woman said as they descended the stairs.

"He said find Hershel. Is that you?" Rick said, struggling for breath. The man nodded. He had to adjust his grip again as he nearly dropped Carl. "Help me," He sobbed. "Help my boy."

"Get him inside. Inside!" Hershel said. Rick didn't hesitate. He carried Carl inside while the other occupants of the house rushed around. Hershel, calm but moving with urgency, rolled up his sleeves as they moved. "Patricia, I need my full kit. Maggie?"

"Yeah?" A brown-haired woman answered.

"Painkillers, coagulates. Grab everything. Clean towels, sheets, alcohol. In here." Hershel rolled aside a duvet on a double bed and Rick lay him down on the white linen.

"Pillowcase." Hershel said, but Rick just stared at Carls' face, so pale and lifeless.

"Is-is he alive?"

"Pillowcase, quick." Hershel said with more urgency. This time Rick obliged, though he couldn't think of anything but Carl.

"Is he alive?" He repeated, but again, no answer.

"Fold it." Hershel said. Maggie, Patricia and the others returned to the room, moving quickly to sort out what Hershel required. "Make a pad. Put pressure on the wound."

He then took a stethoscope from Patricia and pressed it to Carls' chest. Rick held his breath, pleading, begging the world not to take his son.

"I've got a heartbeat. It's faint." Hershel said, and Rick let out a breath of relief.

"I got it. Step back." Patricia said, taking Ricks' place with putting pressure on the wound. His hands were shaking when he moved away.

"Maggie, IV." Hershel said.

"We need some space." She said to Rick.

"Your name?"

Rick looked up, momentarily bemused by the question.

"R-Rick."

"Rick?"

"I'm-I'm Rick." He said, wondering why just saying that was so difficult.

"Rick, we're going do everything we can, okay?" Hershel promised. "You need to give us some room. Now."

Rick stepped back, still staring at his son when he heard Shane outside. He and the other man – Otis – were racing back to the house. Rick stumbled through the house and back onto the porch, taking shallow breaths as he tried to calm his pounding heart.

"He's alive? He's still alive?" Otis asked, looking up at Rick. Rick could barely look at him and wiped some sweat from his forehead. He wanted to rip the mans' throat out, but knew it would do no good. It was an accident, he kept telling himself. Stupid dumb luck, accept it wasn't lucky.

"Okay. It's okay." Shane said, removing a rag from his bag and rubbing it over Ricks' face. He tried to move away. "You got blood, man. Okay. Where is he?" Rick held back a sob, turning back to the house.

He, Shane and Otis returned to the room with Carl where things had quietened down. Hershel continued to put pressure on the wound while Maggie was sorting an IV.

"You know his blood type?" Hershel asked.

"A-positive. Same as mine." Rick stammered. Hershel looked at him.

"That's fortunate. Don't wander far. I'm gonna need you." Hershel turned to Otis. "What happened?"

"I was tracking a buck." The man said, still in shock. "Bullet went through it. Went clean through."

"The deer slowed the bullet down, which certainly saved his life, but it did not go through clean." Hershel said, lifting the pad a little. Otis moved through the room to Patricia. "It broke up into pieces. If I can get the bullet fragments out... And I'm countin' six."

"I never saw him." Otis told her, harrowed. "Not until he was on the ground."

Patricia pulled him close, offering him comfort Rick envied. He thought of Ava and what she would be like if she were here. She was a pillar of strength after everything she'd been through. She made him want to be stronger, to hold on. She'd certainly want him to now. He sniffed.

"Lori doesn't know." He said, shaking his head in distress. "My wife doesn't know. His mum doesn't know."

Shane put his arm around Rick and led him from the room, taking him to another part of the house where they sat in silence for the longest time. Only when the ticking of the clock grew boring did Rick speak.

"Why'd I let him come with us? I should've sent him with Lori."

"You know, you start that, you never get that monkey off your back." Shane said.

"Two people – one a child – go missing, you look for them. Simple." Rick said, rubbing his chin. "You said, 'call it – head back'."

"Doesn't matter what I said." Shane said. "

Carl got shot because I wouldn't cut bait. It should be me in there."

Shane rubbed his head and chuckled.

"You've been there, partner, right? And you pulled through. So will he."

Rick nodded to himself, though he didn't believe it.

"Is that why I got out of that hospital?" He wondered aloud. "Found my family for it to end here, like this? This kind of sick joke?" He spat.

"You stop it. Just stop." Shane said, sighing.

"A little girl goes missing... And Ava…You look for them." He said, fighting back tears. "It's plain and simple."

No one spoke for a moment and the door swung open, revealing Maggie.

"Rick." She said and the two men both headed out the door. "He needs blood." She said as they walked.

When they returned to the room Carl was in he was awake and crying out in pain. It was heartbreaking, but Rick was almost glad to hear it because it meant he was alive.

"You," Hershel said, nodding to Shane. "Hold him down."

"Dad!" Carl cried.

"I got him." Shane said. Rick just stared at the scene, growing more and more distressed by the second. He held his arm out as Patricia went to prep him.

Hershel continued to dig in Carls wound and the boy screamed.

"Almost there." Hershel murmured. Carl screamed and Rick couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop! You're killing him!" He yelled.

"Rick, do you want him to live?" Hershel said, stern but calm.

"He needs blood." Patricia said, trying to regain Ricks' attention but he couldn't look away from Carls' tormented face.

"Do it now!" Shane yelled, breaking Rick from his trance and he turned back to Patricia. She jabbed the needle into his arm and he groaned, never taking his eyes off of Carl. Eventually the boy fell silent and Shane looked, terrified, between Hershel and Carl.

"He just passed out." Hershel reassured. He moved the tongs away from Carl, revealing a shard of the bullet. "One down. Five to go."


	25. Bloodletting: Part 2

S2E2P2

Carl lay on the bed, peaceful if peaky-looking. Everyone was silent as Hershel checked his blood pressure. The cuff hissed and Hershel sighed.

"Pressure's stable."

"Lori needs to be here." Rick said, looking between the tube in his arm and his boy, her boy. "She doesn't even know what's going on. I gotta go find her, bring her back."

"You can't do that." Hershel said.

"She's his mother!" Rick said, struggling to control his anger. "She needs to know what's happened. Her son's lying here, shot."

"And he's going to need more blood." Hershel said, calm as ever before turning to Shane. "He can't go more than 50 feet from this bed."

Patricia removed the tube from Ricks' arm and he pressed a ball of cotton to the wound, folding his elbow as he shakily stood. Shane came forward, arms out, ready to catch him should he fall.

"Hey, hey." He said. "Come on."

"I'm all right. I'm all right." Rick assured him, pushing past to leave the room.

"I got him." Shane said to Hershel.

Rick slowly moved from the room and sank into a chair near the door, paying little attention to Maggie, who started expectantly when the door opened, and Otis, who stared down at his hands, mute.

Shane followed, shutting the door behind him and looked to Maggie's expectant face.

"He's stable, for now." He told her.

"Lori has to be here, Shane. She has to know." Rick said, looking up at him. It was bad enough that he had failed Ava and Carol, but he could not fail Lori as well.

"Okay, I get that." Shane said. "I'm gonna handle it... But you've got to handle your end."

"My end?" Rick frowned.

"Your end is being here, for your son. Even if he didn't need your blood to survive, there is no way I'd ever let you walk out that door. Man, I'd break your legs if you tried. I mean, you know that, right?" Shane said. Rick looked down and sighed.

"If something happened to him and you weren't here... If he slipped away while you were gone, you would never forgive yourself for that, and neither would Lori, man."

Rick pressed his fingers against his eye, wondering if he could erase the day if he pressed hard enough. He fought back tears.

"You're right." He said.

"When was I ever wrong?" Shane said with a forceful chuckle. "You know, when you were in that hospital, the one you were never supposed to leave, man... You should've seen Lori. The strength of that woman. You can't imagine it. See, that's what you've got to have now. I mean, Carl, he needs that from you. So, you wire yourself tight, my friend. You hear?" Shane cradled his head and Rick pressed his forehead to Shanes', thankful yet again to have such a good friend. "You've got the hard part. You just leave the rest to me, okay?"

"Alright, alright." Rick said, putting his trust in Shane. Shane moved away as the door opened and they all stood as Hershel came out, wiping blood from his hands.

"He's out of danger for the moment," He said to Rick. "But I need to remove those remaining fragments."

"How? You saw how he was." Rick said.

"I know, and that was the shallowest one. I need to go deeper to get the others."

Rick closed his eyes.

"There's more." Hershel said.

"Tell me." Rick said, keeping strong.

"His belly's distended, his pressure's dropping, which means there's internal bleeding. A fragment must have nicked one of the blood vessels."

He took a pause in which Rick nodded, fighting back more tears.

"I have to open him up, find the bleeder and stitch it. And he can't move while I'm in there. I mean, at all. If he reacts the same as before, I'll sever an artery and he'll be dead in minutes. To even try this, I have to put him under. But if I do, he won't be able to breathe on his own. Same bad results."

"What'll it take?" He asked, already determined to do whatever it takes to save his son.

"You need a respirator. What else?" Otis said, moving towards them.

"The tube that goes with it, extra surgical supplies, drapes, sutures." Hershel said.

"If you had all that, you could save him?" Rick interrupted.

"If I had all that, I could try." Hershel said.

"Nearest hospital went up in flames a month ago." Otis said, but Hershel gave him a look and his eyes widened. "The high school."

"That's what I was thinking. They set up a FEMA shelter there. They would have everything we need."

"Place was overrun last time I saw it. You couldn't get near it. Maybe it's better now." Otis said.

"I said, leave the rest to me." Shane said, swallowing. "Is it too late to take that back?"

"I hate you going alone." Rick said.

"Come on." Shane said. "Doc, why don't you do me a list, draw me a map."

"You won't need a map." Otis said. "I'll take you there. Ain't but five miles."

"Otis, no." Patricia said, leaning in the open doorway.

"Honey, we don't have time for guesswork and I'm responsible. I ain't gonna sit here while this fella takes this on alone. I'll be all right."

"Are you sure about this?" Shane asked him.

"Do you even know what any of the stuff he's talking about looks like?" Otis asked.

"Come to think, no."

"I've been a volunteer EMT. I do. Now, we can talk about this 'till next Sunday, or we could just go do it real quick."

"I'll take right quick." Shane said.

"I should thank you." Rick nodded to the man, surprised to find he felt truly grateful even after he'd shot his son.

"Wait 'till that boy of yours is up and around, then we'll talk." He said. "I'll gather some things."

Otis left the room to do as he said and Maggie stepped up to Rick.

"Where is she? Your wife?"

Rick told her what she needed to know, then sat down to rest some more. His head was pounding, a headache brought on by the blood loss no doubt. He massaged his temples and wondered for the first time since Carl was shot whether the group had found Sophia and Ava. Maybe Maggie would return with them both, or simply say they were fine. It would certainly be a weight off of his shoulders.

With supplies prepared for the trip to the high school, the group moved out of the house to see Shane and Otis off.

"Just get what you need and get out of there." Rick said to Shane, patting him on the shoulder. Otis and Patricia had a heartfelt goodbye and the woman sobbed while he tried to convince her he'd be fine. Rick handed Otis his python.

"That's a fine weapon Rick. I'll bring it back in one piece." He said.

They grabbed their supplies and climbed into the truck before pulling away from the farm. Patricia went back into the house while Rick and Hershel lingered a moment longer.

"Must check on your boy." Hershel said before walking away.

Later, Rick returned to the porch, looking out over the land for a hint of Maggie and Lori. Hershel followed, coming to stand at his side.

"This place is beautiful." Rick said.

"Been in my family 160 years." Hershel said.

"I can't believe how serene it is. How untouched... You're lucky."

"We weren't completely unscathed. We lost friends, neighbours. The epidemic took my wife, my stepson."

Rick looked down.

"I'm sorry."

"My daughters were spared." He said, looking out to the sunset. "I'm grateful to God for that. These people here, all we've got left is each other. Just hoping we can ride it out in peace till there's a cure."

Rick sighed.

"We were at the CDC... It's gone now. There is no cure."

"I don't believe it." Hershel said with a smile. "When aids came along, everyone panicked. One boy in town came down with it, and some parents pulled their children from school, so they didn't have to sit in the same room."

"This is a whole other thing." Rick said, trying to make him understand.

"That's what we always say. This one's different."

"Well, this one is." Rick said.

"Mankind's been fighting plagues from the start. We get our behinds kicked for a while, then, we bounce back. It's nature correcting herself, restoring some balance."

"I wish I could believe that." Rick said after a moment.

They were distracted from their conversation by the sounds of galloping hooves and they looked up to see Maggie returning. Rick moved down from the porch as Lori clamoured, wide-eyed, from the horse. She started crying as soon as she saw the blood on his front and clasped him into a tight hug. Rick held her, offering her comfort and sharing the pain only they as Carls' parents could know.

He led her inside and heard her choked intake of breath as she saw her son.

"I'm sorry." He murmured, pulling her close and kissing her head. She pulled away and went to his side, cradling his face.

"My baby boy. Baby boy. It's okay. Mama's here. Mama's here. You're gonna be okay. We're going to make you okay." She said, nodding to herself, lying down beside him and reaching back to take a firm grip of Ricks' hand. He gripped it back, looking down with a sigh.


	26. Bloodletting: Part 3

S2E2P3

They sat in silence as Rick gave more blood, Patricia dealing with the needles while Hershel checked Carls' blood pressure. Once the needle was removed Rick went to stand. A cloud of fog burned in his temples and he faltered, Loris' hands catching him and lowering him back into the chair.

"Slow." She said. "Slow. How many transfusions?"

"Two. Only two." Rick said, sighing. He felt more tired than he ever had in his life.

"You know he wanted to do the same for you when you were in the hospital." Lori said, looking at Carl with a smile. "I had to talk him out of it." She chuckled.

Rick looked at her, trying to imagine what Carl must have gone through when he was the one lying still and wounded in bed. He smiled, barely, and could think of nothing to say.

Lori helped Rick from the room, taking him through the silent house and to Hershel, who handed him a glass of orange juice.

"Thank you." Rick said, guzzling it down. He hadn't realised just how thirsty he was.

"Okay." Lori said, leaning on the back of the kitchen chair. "So I understand, when Shane gets back with this other man."

"Otis." Hershel informed her.

"Otis." She repeated. "The idiot who shot my son."

"Ma'am, it was an accident."

"I'll take that under advisement later. For now, he's the idiot who shot our son." Lori retorted. Rick reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently.

"Lori, they're doing everything they can to make it right." He said, but she waved him off.

"Okay, as soon as they get back you can perform this surgery?"

"I'll certainly do my best." Hershel promised.

"Okay... I mean, you've done this procedure before?"

"Well, yes, in a sense."

"In a sense?" Lori said, beginning to sound annoyed.

"Honey, we don't have the luxury of shopping for a surgeon." Rick pointed out, squeezing her hand again. She sniffed and patted his hand.

"No, I understand that. But, I mean, you're a doctor, right?"

"Yes, ma'am. Of course. A vet." Hershel said, calmly as ever.

"A veteran? A combat medic?" Lori said, her tone perking.

"A veterinarian."

Lori looked at him, mouth agape in disbelief. She stuttered.

"And you've done this surgery before on what? Cows? Pigs?" Lori said, her tone trying to stay reasonable.

Rick knew they were lucky to have a man who knew his stuff, but hearing that he'd only ever worked on animals was a blow. So much so that he swayed.

"I- I have- I have to sit." He mumbled, all but falling into the chair. Lori reached for him, supporting him and righting the cup he spilled.

"You're completely in over your head, aren't you?" Lori said to Hershel, struggling not to cry.

"Ma'am, aren't we all?"

The man had a point. Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and hoped, hoped with everything he had, that his boy would live.

Later, Hershel took his blood pressure again.

"Pressure's dropping again." Hershel sighed. "We can't wait much longer."

"Take some more. Whatever he needs. Then I'm gonna go." Rick said

"Go?" Lori stared at him in disbelief. "Go where?"

"He said five miles. They should be long back by now. Something's gone wrong."

And if he'd lost Shane because of this as well…

"Are you insane? You're not going after them." Lori said.

"Rick, listen to your wife."

"If they got into trouble-"

"You're in no condition to do anything about it. You've given too much blood. You're barely on your feet. You wouldn't make it across the yard." Hershel pointed out.

"If something happened, I have to go." Rick said.

"No, your place is here." Lori said sternly, scowling at him. "If Shane said he'll be back, he'll be back. He's like you that way."

"I can't just sit here." Rick tried.

"That's exactly what you do!" Lori yelled. "If you need to pray or cry or tell God he's cruel, you go right ahead, but you're not leaving, Rick. Carl needs you here. And I can't do this by myself. Not this one. I can't."

She continued to repeat her last words, muttering softly as Rick stared at her, tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said, knowing he could never say it enough, and he wrapped his arms around his wife. She gripped him tighter than she had in a long time and they stayed like that, grieving and desperate and lost. Rick wondered, briefly, if this would be the tragedy that would draw them back together, if some of their love would be rekindled.

Night had fallen, the second night Ava and Sophia had been missing.

And Rick did as Lori said and told God he was cruel.

When I woke again I had no idea how much time had passed. The sun was gone, leaving me in utter and complete darkness, a black that compressed and pushed on all sides. The only reason I knew I wasn't being crushed was because water trickled near and far. The occasional owl hooted. Twigs snapped high above.

I was instantly shivering, chilled to the bone by the constant flow of water around my body. The water-logged walker from the creek flashed in my mind and I jerked upright, retching violently to the side. I shook from the effort, from the cold and the thoughts in my head. I desperately scanned my arms and fingers, but could make out no details. My fingers felt pruny, but my skin wasn't coming off. I hadn't been unconscious that long then.

I wanted to feel relief but the ice in my bones wouldn't let me. My head was throbbing and I reached up, tenderly pressing the skin of my forehead. It was boiling hot and that was not normal – especially considering the water I'd been resting in. I immediately remembered the wound on my leg, likely caused by some branch or rock in the fall. It was hardly a sterile environment.

I could do nothing about it now though. I could only feel my knotted jacket around the wound, my fingers too numb to make much sense of what I felt. My leg was hot though and the make-shift bandage felt extremely tight. Swelling, I imagined. Not necessarily the result of an infection, but the white-hot feeling was. I gingerly pressed the wound and bit back a scream so hard I tasted blood.

I tried to move but I could barely get on my knees, let alone my feet. I crawled through the stream, feeling my way forward and eventually found a raised level of dirt. I used the slope to pull myself up, shaking uncontrollably. Upright, I felt close to fainting but bit my lip and fought the fog. I had to get out of this ravine and find the others, find Sophia. I didn't let myself wonder if I was at the right edge.

I dug my fingers into the mud of the slope and tried to get my weight onto it. Not only did the mud give way, but my leg quivered and refused to do anything as I tried to step up. I fell, splashing back into the riverbed and my head blurred. I swallowed thickly.

Drinking didn't satisfy my thirst and there was nothing to eat to quell my rumbling stomach. More to the point, I had nothing to clean my wound or fight off an infection. I was screwed. I scoffed.

"Up a creek…" I mumbled, staring into the darkness that kept me from Sophia, Rick, and the others. "…without a paddle."

I wanted to move, to climb that sonovabitch, but I was so tired, but I had to move, but I was so tired. I couldn't stay here forever. I'd die.

But I was so tired.


	27. Save the last one: Part 1

S2E3P1

The night wore on and still Shane and Otis were missing. First Ava and Sohpia, now Shane and Otis. Rick was beginning to think he shouldn't let anyone out of his sight, but then he remembered Carl had been right in front of him when he got shot, so even in sight wasn't safe.

Some hours later, sitting in silence by Carls' side as Hershel checked his blood pressure, Maggie walked in with Glenn and T-Dog.

"Hey." Glenn said, swallowing hard as he looked at Carl.

"Hey." Rick said dozily, surprised to see them.

"Um, we're here, okay?" Glenn said. Lori turned to them.

"Thank you."

"Whatever you need." T-Dog echoed Glenns' sentiment. Rick rubbed his face, listening to the floorboards creak as they moved away.

"Hey, Glenn?" He said, drawing him back into the room.

"Yeah?"

"Sophia and Ava… Any sign?"

Glenn looked down and shook his head before leaving again. Rick nodded, crushed but not entirely surprised. He took a deep breath. Hershel pulled back the covers over Carls' body, revealing the extent of his distended stomach. Lori took his hand.

"They don't get back soon, we're gonna have a decision to make." Hershel sighed.

"And that is?" Rick asked.

"Whether to operate on your boy without the respirator."

"You said that wouldn't work." Lori murmured.

"I know. It's extremely unlikely. But we can't wait much longer."

Lori immediately stood, leaving the room. Rick struggled to his feet and followed. She'd gone all the way to the porch, looking out into the darkness while wildlife chirped and tittered around them.

"Maybe this isn't a world for children anymore." Lori choked out.

"Yeah well, we have a child. Carl is here in this world now-" Rick said, but was interrupted.

"Maybe he shouldn't be. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be."

Rick took a breath, struggling to hold back the wave of anger he felt at her words. She could not be giving up, not on their son.

"You can't mean that." He said, staring at her, but she only stared back. He nodded, still angry. "Okay. Alright. I can understand that thought crossing your mind."

"It didn't cross my mind, Rick. I can't stop thinking it. Why do we want Carl to live in this world? To have this life? So he can see more people torn apart in front of him? So that he can be hungry and scared for however long he has before he... So he can run and run and run and run and then even if he survives he ends up... he ends up just another animal who doesn't know anything except survival? If he dies tonight, it ends for him. Tell me why it would be better another way."

Rick couldn't believe what he was hearing, after everything. It sickened him more that to him it made a kind of sense. He wished Ava was here. She would never let them give up on Carl. She could see hope when there was none. It's how he had kept it together for so long. But now…

"What changed?" He said, turning to Lori.

"What?"

"Jenner offered us a way out. You asked him to let us keep trying. You begged him. "For as long as we can," you said. What changed?" He growled.

"There was a moment the other day... it was just a second but I forgot Jacqui was dead. I turned around, I wanted to tell her something. I almost said her name. It was just a second and then I remembered. But then I realized she didn't have to see any of it. The highway, the herds, Sophia, Carl getting shot... she didn't... She doesn't have to be afraid anymore. Hungry. Angry. It hasn't stopped happening, Rick. It's like we live with a knife at our throats every second of every day. But Jacqui doesn't. Not anymore. And then... I thought, maybe Jenner was right."

"I don't accept that. I can't accept that. That man surrendered. He'd given up on the world and accepted that this was our end. But it isn't, this is not our extinction." He yelled.

Lori looked at him, blinking back tears.

"That's what Ava said to him. And where is she now?"

Rick couldn't speak. He hadn't expected such a punch of grief in his heart at the mention of her being gone, the implication that she was gone forever.

"We can't think that she's dead."

"How can we not? Rick, listen to yourself! They've been missing in those woods for days. Ava would have brought Sophia back by now if she were alive and you said she was unarmed. And Sophia? There's no way that little girl is alive."

"How can you think that?" He yelled, drawing closer and staring down at her with an anger he had never felt before, a scared anger rising up in the face of grief. "How can you even say that? Would you say this to Carol?"

"Of course not! She loves her…" Lori trailed off. Rick pinched the bridge of his nose with a shaking hand.

"And you think I don't? Ava and Sophia…" He broke off with a sob, one that he quickly stifled. "I can't think they're dead. I just can't."

He swallowed and Lori continued to stare at him, wide-eyed.

"Ava once asked me how I could be so sure of finding you and Carl again. I told her I wouldn't believe you were dead until I saw it with my own eyes, so until then I believed you were alive." He turned to her. "That's what I'm going to do now. For both of them."

Rick pushed away from the porch and shakily headed back inside, tears streaming down his face.

"Do you love her?"

Rick froze at the doorway, looking back at Lori who still hadn't moved. Rick didn't need to ask who she was referring to but he couldn't answer. He looked away and moved back inside, leaving Lori alone in the dark.


	28. Save the last one: Part 2

S2E3P2

Rick took his place beside Carl once more and stared at him, making silent promises that he would be okay. Lori followed not long after and sat beside him in silence. He couldn't look at her, not after what she had said. He imagined she didn't want to look at him either.

He was distracted from those thoughts as Carl began to cough. He leaned forward, Lori jumping to his side as well. Rick grinned, seeing Carl look up at them very much conscious. He was breathing hard, looking between his parents and Hershel, who sat on the other side of the bed.

"Where are we?" he said.

"Hey, little man." Rick said, leaning forward. "That's Hershel. We're in his house. You had an accident. Alright?"

"It hurts, a lot." Carl said, stuttering.

"Oh baby, I know. I know." Lori said thickly.

"You should have seen it." Carl said, smiling at his mother.

"What?"

"The deer. It was so pretty, mum. It was so close. I've never been..." He faded out, his eyes glazing, face going slack. Ricks' heart stopped. It looked like he was dead.

"Carl?" he said, leaning forward as all strength left him. Before he could say anything else Carl began to seize and shake.

"What is happening?" Lori said. She tried to hold him down as he jerked and writhed in the bed.

"Don't. It's a seizure." Hershel said, tipping Carl onto his side. "If you hold him down, you could hurt him."

"You can't stop it?" Lori said, looking at him wildly.

"He has to just go through it." Hershel said, moving away pillows and anything else that might get in his way. Lori clung to Rick, crying hysterically, and Rick could do nothing but watch his son in mute shock.

After a few seconds, Carl abruptly stopped, falling unconscious again. Hershel grabbed his arm to check his pulse and Lori immediately pulled away, sinking to his side.

"His brain isn't getting enough blood. His pressure is bottoming. He needs another transfusion."

"Okay, I'm ready." Rick said, already sitting on the bed.

"If I take any more out of you your body could shut down. You could go into a coma. Or cardiac arrest." Hershel said, but that didn't matter, not to Rick.

"You're wasting time." He said, holding out his arm. Hershel sighed but retrieved the machine and began preparing him for another transfusion. Rick fought back tears as he looked at his son and tried to remind himself of what Ava would do, what Ava would say. It would be something along the lines of 'everything's going to be fine' in her wonderful accent. Something that would make him believe it was true, anyway.

In another part of the house, T-Dog was struggling with the pain of sutures. Maggie pressed down on his arm, keeping it flat while Patricia sewed him up.

"You got here right in time." She said. "This couldn't go untreated much longer. 'Merle Dixon.' Is that your friend with the antibiotics?"

"No, ma'am." Glenn said from the doorway, a mug of tea in hand. "Merle's no longer with us. Daryl gave us those... his brother."

"Not sure I'd call him a friend." T-Dog chuckled through the pain.

"He is today." Patricia said. "This doxycycline might have just saved your life. You know what Merle was taking it for?"

"The clap." Glenn said, then noticed the look Maggie was giving him and stuttered. "Um, venereal disease. That's what Daryl said."

"I'd say Merle Dixon's clap was the best thing to ever happen to you." Patricia said.

"I'm really trying not to think about that." T-Dog moaned.

Glenn walked past them, heading out onto the porch. The aroma that kept wafting up from the cup reminded him of Ava. She was always going on about how much she loved tea, and Glenn was always making fun of her for being so typically British. He put the mug on the ground as he sat in a chair on the porch and rubbed his hands together, looking out into the darkness and wondering what she was doing right then. Surviving, he was sure.

"Are you praying?"

Glenn jumped, turning to see Maggie leaning against the porch. Glenn sighed.

"Why do you sneak up on people so much?"

"You're easy to sneak up on." She said, smirking as she sat on the railings.

"I was praying." He admitted. "I was trying to."

"You religious? You pray a lot?"

"Actually this was my first try."

"Ever?" She said, raising her brows. He nodded. "Wow. Sorry. I didn't mean to wreck your first time."

"God probably got the gist."

"Praying for what?"

Glenn looked down at his hands, moving slightly to touch the hilt of Ava's dagger. He'd decided to carry it with him until they found her, so he could give it back straight away. He couldn't imagine she felt safe without it.

"My friends. Looks like they could all use a little help right now." He said, looking up at Maggie.

"Can I ask you something?" She said. Glenn nodded.

"Rick. When you arrived he asked about two people: Ava and Sophia?"

He nodded again.

"Two of our people. It's why they were in the woods when Carl got shot. Sophia got spooked by some walkers and ran. Ava was left to defend her while Rick drew them away. They're both gone."

"I'm so sorry."

"They're not dead." Glenn said immediately. "They're just missing, but we won't stop until we find them. I mean… Ava is like a sister to me and Sophia…she's only a little girl. Her mum won't stop looking."

Maggie nodded and looked away.

"You think..." Glenn started, clearing his throat. "You think God exists?"

"I always took it on faith. Lately I've wondered. Everything that's happened, there must have been a lot of praying going on. It seems quite a few went unanswered."

"Thanks. This is really helping."

"Sorry. Go ahead. Really."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"You gonna watch?"

Maggie chuckled lightly, standing and moving over to him. She knelt down and retrieved his mug.

"I'll get you a refill instead." She said, moving back towards the house but hesitating before turning back.

"I know it's not my business, and feel free to believe in God, but the thing is you've got to make it okay somehow no matter what happens."

Then she left him alone on the porch. Glenn drew the tri-bladed dagger, remembering what Ava had told him about its origin, and struggled to contain his tears. For a brief moment he considered the possibility of never seeing her again, but then he sniffed and pushed it away, sliding the blade back into the holster where it belonged.


	29. Save the last one: Part 3

S2E3P3

"Before it happened we were standing there in the woods and this deer just crossed right in front of us. I swear it just planted itself there and looked Carl right in the eye." Rick said. He was slumped in a chair beside Carl, feeling more than a little worse for wear, and Lori sat on the floor beside Carl, holding his hand.

"And I looked at Carl looking at that deer, and that deer looking right back at Carl. And that moment just..." He sighed. "Slipped away. It slipped away. That's what he was talking about when he woke up, not about getting shot or what happened at the church. He talked about something beautiful, something living." In his head, he remembered that moment, so perfect and wonderful it was almost a fantasy. And the look on Carls' face…that joy was worth living for.

"There's still a life for us, a place maybe like this." He said. Lori shook her head slowly, crying as she leaned her head on the side of the bed. "It isn't all death out there. It can't be. We just have to be strong enough after everything we've seen to still believe that."

She sobbed gently.

"Why is it better for Carl to live, even in this world? He talked about the deer, Lori. He talked about the deer."

Rick leaned back, deciding his point made, and rested his eyes for a little. Later, Hershel returned to check his blood pressure and pulse again.

"He's still losing blood faster than we can replace it. And with the swelling in his abdomen we can't wait any longer or he's just going to slip away."

Rick stood, rubbing his head and trying vehemently to believe there was a chance to save him. Lori sobbed.

"Now I need to know right now if you want me to do this, because I think your boy is out of time. You have to make a choice."

"A choice?" Lori said.

"A choice. You have to tell me what it is. You have to tell me what it is." Rick said, hoping beyond hope that she would understand what he did, what Ava did: that we had to keep fighting not to survive, but to live.

"We do it." She said, choking slightly on her words. He hugged her, relieved.

Hershel wasted no time. He and Patricia manoeuvred a large metal table into the room.

"Okay, get the corner of that bed. Let's get the sheets down. Get the I.V. bag on the sheet." He ordered, gesturing to the bag above Carl that Rick unhooked and put beside him. He then lifted Carls' head and removed the pillow beneath it.

"Okay, on three." Hershel said as they grabbed both Carl and the bed sheet. "One, two, three."

Carl was lifted and rested on the table, a metal tray for medical equipment pushed beside his legs. Patricia brought over a large floor lamp and removed the shade, turning the bright bulbs on above the sleeping boy.

"Rick, Lori, you may want to step out." Hershel said as he brought a scalpel towards Carls' stomach. Rick and Lori exchanged a glance before moving towards the door, but before they got close they were all stopped by the sound of an engine gunning down the drive.

"Oh God." Rick said, racing through the door as fast as he could.

"You stay here with him." Hershel told Patricia as he and Lori followed Rick.

The truck juddered to a stop and they all piled out to see Shane stumbling towards them, breath coming fast, with the supplies over his shoulder.

"Carl?" He said.

"There's still a chance." Rick said as Hershel dragged the supplies from Shane's back.

"Otis?" he asked.

"No." Shane murmured. There was a moment of silence in which they all looked down, but Hershel couldn't afford to wait longer.

"We say nothing to Patricia. Not till after. I need her." He said, his voice distressed. He stormed back inside.

Rick moved to Shane, he continued to stare at him in mute shock, and pulled him in for a tight hug.

"They kept blocking us at every turn. We had nothing left. We were down to 10 rounds." Shane said, swallowing, clearly distressed. "Then he said... he said he'd cover me and that I should keep going. So that's what I did. I just... I kept going. But I... I looked back and he... I tried."

Rick patted Shane on the shoulder.

"He wanted to make it right."

Shane nodded, still looking spooked as he took in Maggie behind them, crying. She turned back into the house and Glenn went after her, sitting with her as she cried.

"I've known Otis since I was a kid." She said. "He's run this farm since before my mother died."

Glenn sighed, listening to her sniffs as he stood and moved towards the fridge, which was covered in pictures of the family.

"Who else?" He asked. "Who'd you lose?"

She looked up at him, sobbing harder.

"You told me I had to make it okay somehow. That's what you've been trying to do, right? Which ones?" He gestured to the fridge. Maggie stood and pointed first to a woman.

"Stepmother."

She moved her finger to another photo, this one of a boy.

"Stepbrother."

She took a deep steadying breath. Glenn watched her, giving her this moment to grieve.

Rick and Lori sat on the porch in silence, waiting anxiously for the fate of their son. They both twisted at the sound of the door opening and Hershel stepped out, quickly followed by Glenn and the others.

"He seems to have stabilized." Hershel said, and Rick laughed in shock, hunching over himself as the relief left him weak at the knees. When he could stand up straight again, Hershel was smiling at him. Rick didn't hesitate and moved up the porch to give the man a hug. When he pulled back, Lori looked up at him with teary-eyed joy.

"I don't have words." She said.

"I don't either. Wish I did." Hershel sighed. "How do I tell Patricia about Otis?"

Behind them, Shane looked down. Rick nodded.

"You go to Carl." He said to Lori, who nodded. "I'll go with Hershel."

They both turned back into the house, while Lori returned to her son. In the kitchen, Rick and Hershel told Patricia about Otis and the woman moaned and wept as she almost fell, the two men catching her and sitting her down in a chair. Shane watched for a moment and Rick saw the pain in his eyes, but before he could decide between staying with Hershel and going to his friend, Shane walked away.

It was the sound of walkers that woke me. It seemed even weak and suffering from an infection, my survival instincts remained.

I had the presence of mind to sit up slowly, the movement indiscernible from the lapping of the stream, and stared wide-eyed at the impenetrable darkness, listening for where it had come from.

A low groan sounded again, from my right and a few metres away. I was at a disadvantage. The walkers could smell the living, so it would likely find me despite the dark. I swallowed and reached into the water, searching for a rock or a stick to use as a weapon.

My fingers closed on a rather large, long, pointed piece of rock that I pulled from the water and gripped so tightly that it could have been cutting my fingers. I was too numb to know either way.

I shifted silently closer to the slope and pressed my back against the dirt. Then I waited. 


	30. Cherokee rose: Part 1

S2E4P1

Rick and Lori sat by Carls' side as Hershel put his hand to his head.

"Fever's gone down." He said, just as Carl began to squirm under the covers. Lori rushed to his side.

"Baby?"

Rick leaned forward, eyes wide with shock as Carl opened his eyes.

"Carl?" He said, smiling.

"Sophia? Ava? Are they okay?"

Rick stared at him for a moment, looking into his hopeful eyes and knowing he couldn't speak the truth. The pain of it was almost too much for Rick to bare, let alone Carl.

"Fine." He said, swallowing. "They're fine."

"Rest. We'll be right here, okay?" Lori said, taking Carls' hand.

"Okay." Carl murmured before falling asleep again. Rick sank back into his seat, basking in the joy and relief of Carl being okay. He knew it wouldn't last forever, that soon enough he'd have to confront the issue of Ava and Sophia again, but for now he was happy.

The door opened and T-Dog came in.

"They're here."

Rick, Lori and Hershel moved outside just as the RV, car and Daryl on his bike turned up. Maggie, Glenn and the others were already outside waiting.

"How is he?" Dale said, wide eyed.

"He'll pull through, thanks to Hershel and his people." Lori said, smiling.

"And Shane. We'd have lost Carl if not for him." Rick added. Dale looked over his shoulder at Shane for a moment, then moved forward and wrapped his arms around Rick.

"Thank God." Carol said, moving forward to hug Lori. "We were so worried."

"How'd it happen?" Dale asked.

"Hunting accident." Rick said, scoffing lightly. "That's all... Just a stupid accident."

He patted Dale on the arm, greeting the other members of the group before they prepared to move away for Otis' funeral. On the way Rick turned to Daryl.

"Any sign of Ava and Sophia?" He asked.

"Canvassed the area some. Didn't find nothing but the dead."

Rick nodded, his heart clenching even though he hadn't been expecting anything different.

At the end of the Greene property, the family had stacked stones to act as Otis' grave marker.

"Blessed be God, father of our lord Jesus Christ." Hershel started, reading from the bible as the family took it in turns to put a stone on the grave, to say their goodbyes. "Praise be to him for the gift of our brother Otis, for his span of years, for his abundance of character; Otis, who gave his life to save a child's, now more than ever, our most precious asset. We thank you, God, for the peace he enjoys in your embrace. He died as he lived, in Grace."

Hershel looked up solemnly at Shane.

"Shane, will you speak for Otis?"

He looked away, clearly uncomfortable.

"I'm not good at it. I'm sorry."

"You were the last one with him." Patricia said, her voice choking up in her grief. "You shared his final moments. Please. I need to hear. I need to know his death had meaning."

The poor woman smiled at Shane through her tears and he looked down and nodded.

"Okay. We were about done. Almost out of ammo. We were down to pistols by then. I was limping. It was bad. Ankle all swollen up. "We've got to save the boy." See, that's what he said. He gave me his backpack. He shoved me ahead. "Run," he said. "I'll take the rear. I'll cover you." And when I looked back…"

Shane fell silent, a small sob from Patricia the only sound save the crickets. Shane limped forward and picked up a stone.

"If not for Otis, I'd have never made it out alive. And that goes for Carl too. It was Otis. He saved us both. If any death ever had meaning, it was his." He said, placing the rock on the grave.

Patricia nodded at Shane, struggling with tears but clearly touched by his words.

With the funeral over and Carl out of the woods, Rick was indeed drawn quickly back into the search for Ava and Sophia. He gathered around the hood of the truck with Shane, Daryl and Andrea, Hershel at his side, and explained what had happened.

"How long have these girls' been lost?" He asked.

"This'll be day three." Rick said, swallowing at the words. He hadn't truly paid attention to how long it had been. Could Ava have survived out there that long? On her own, sure, she'd done it before, but with Sophia? The fact that they hadn't returned left little hope.

Maggie joined them at the car, a roll of maps in hand and spread them flat across the hood.

"County survey map. Shows terrain and elevations." She said, putting two rocks on either corner to keep it open.

"This is perfect." Rick said, scanning the map. "We can finally get this thing organized. We'll grid the whole area, start searching in teams."

"Not you. Not today." Hershel said. "You gave three units of blood. You wouldn't be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out."

Rick sighed.

"And your ankle..." Hershel turned to Shane. "Push it now, you'll be laid up a month, no good to anybody."

"Guess it's just me." Daryl said, pointing to a place on the map. "I'm gonna head back to the creek, work my way from there." He told Rick, who nodded. It was only then that he noticed the archer was also carrying a spear.

"You found Avas' spear?"

"Yeah. Figured I'd give it back to her when I found her. We all know how she feels about being unarmed."

Rick smirked, remembering the time when they'd camped by the road and she'd told everyone she felt more naked without a weapon than she did without clothes.

"I can still be useful." Shane said, interrupting. "I'll drive up to the interstate, see if Ava and Sophia wandered back."

"Alright, tomorrow then. We'll start doing this right." Rick said.

"That means we can't have our people out there with just knives." Shane pointed out. "They need the gun training we've been promising them."

"I'd prefer you not carrying guns on my property. We've managed so far without turning this into an armed camp." Hershel said.

"All due respect, you get a crowd of those things wandering in here-"

"Look, we're guests here. This is your property and we will respect that." Rick said sternly, pulling his Python free and putting it on the hood of the truck. Shane snorted, clearly not pleased with the decision, but put his gun on the hood with Ricks'.

"First things first: Set camp, find Sophia and Ava." Rick said.

"I hate to be the one to ask, but somebody's got to." Shane said. "What happens if we find them and they're bit, or one of them's bit? I think we should all be clear on how we handle that."

Rick nodded simply.

"You do what has to be done." He said, looking down.

"Could you?" Shane said, his tone biting. Rick looked at him and frowned. "Could you really put her down?"

Rick blanched, seeing the accusation in his eyes, but continued to frown. A wave of anger coursed through his body at the judgemental look Shane gave him. Whether he knew about that night or not, he could hardly judge Rick when he'd been sleeping with his wife.

"If I had to." He said with finality. Shane pursed his lips.

"It'd only be Sophia we'd have to worry about." Daryl interrupted, breaking the tension. "Ava'd either thank us or insist on doing it herself."

He was right, and it gave Rick a sick feeling in his gut at how glad he felt, knowing he wouldn't have to shoot her. Unless they found her dead already.

"And her mother? What do you tell her?" Maggie said, staring at Rick in shock.

"The truth." Andrea said as Shane retrieved his gun.

"I'll gather and secure all the weapons." He said. "Make sure no one's carrying till we're at a practice range off site. I do request one rifleman on lookout. Dale's got experience."

They all looked at Hershel, who stared at him in silence.

"Our people would feel safer, less inclined to carry a gun." Rick said, and after a while Hershel nodded. "Thank you."

"That stuff you brought, got more antibiotics, bandages, anything like that?" Maggie asked. Rick sighed.

"Just what you've seen." Andrea said before walking off.

"We're running short already. I should make a run into town." Maggie told her father.

"Not the place Shane went?" Rick said, incredulous at the thought of anyone going back there.

"No, there's a pharmacy just a mile down the road. I've done it before." She said.

Rick turned and looked over his shoulder, pointing to Glenn who was helping Lori put up a tent.

"See our man there in the baseball cap? That's Glenn, our go-to-town expert. I'd ask him along just to be cautious." Rick suggested. Hershel gave his approval and Maggie nodded before heading over to him.

"I hear you're fast on your feet and know how to get in and out." She said. Glenn looked at her, frowning in confusion. "Got a pharmacy run. You in?"

"Uh..." Glenn managed, but before he could come up with a proper answer, Dale interrupted.

"Miss, what's the water situation here?"

"Got five wells on our land. House draws directly from number one. Number two well is right over there. We use it for the cattle but it's just as pure. Take what you need. There's a cart and containers in the generator shed behind the house." She said, before turning back to Glenn. "I'll go saddle your horse then."

"Horse?" He said, still frowning as she walked away.

Rick sat on the porch steps, wringing his hands and feeling generally helpless. He knew Hershel was right and that he had to rest otherwise he was no help to anyone, but knowing that Ava and Sophia were out there alone made him itch to get out there, but he couldn't.

He looked up as Daryl passed by his periphery, jumping to his feet and heading over to the archer.

"Daryl." He said, stopping him. "You okay on your own?"

"I'm better on my own. I'll be back before dark." He said, already heading into the woods.

"Hey." Rick called again, stopping Daryl. "We got a base. We can get this search properly organized now."

"You got a point or are we just chatting?"

"My point is it lets you off the hook. You don't owe us anything now." Rick said, but Daryl simply turned and stomped off towards the forest.

"My other plans fell through." He said.

Rick nodded, donning his hat as Hershel came out of the house.

"We could give you more space. Set up over by the barn." Rick suggested.

"No, no need for that. Better you stay close to the house." Hershel said, looking over at the barn briefly. "I don't say this easily, Rick. We don't normally take in strangers. I can't have your people thinking this is permanent. Once you find these girls and your boy's fit for travel, I expect you'll move on. We need to be clear on that."

With that, he left Rick alone outside. Rick pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping beyond hope that Hershel would reconsider. He didn't know if they could make it on the road much longer. He turned back to the barn for a moment before heading back inside.


	31. Cherokee rose: Part 2

S2E4P2

Glenn peered through the binoculars, watching Maggie ride towards him with his own horse.

"Hello, farmer's daughter." He murmured, jumping when Lori stepped into his line of vision.

"Hi. Here's your list." She said, handing him a piece of paper. "And, um, there's one other item. I wrote it down separately. It's personal. If we could be real discreet about that, okay?"

"Sure." Glenn said, opening the separate piece of paper.

"Thank you." She said before moving away.

"Uh, what is it?"

Lori turned back.

"Kind of missing the point of the whole discreet thing, Glenn."

"Oh, right." And Lori moved off again, but Glenn started. "Um... I just need to know where to find it."

"Try the feminine hygiene section."

"Oh." Glenn said, blushing. "Enough said. Consider it done."

As they prepared to leave, they were called away by Dale and T-Dog, who led them to a well. Shane, Andrea and Lori came too. They all crowded around the broken-in well and looked down to see a large walker trapped in it. It looked just like the one Ava had encountered in the creek. Glenn swallowed.

"Looks like we've got us a swimmer." Dale said, shining a torch down on it.

"How long you think it has been down there?" Glenn said.

"Long enough to grow gills." Andrea muttered.

"We can't leave it in there." Lori said, sighing. "God knows what it's doing to the water."

"We got to get it out." Shane said. "Easy. Put a bullet in its head. I'll get a rope."

"Whoa, whoa, guys." Maggie said. "No."

"Why not?" Glenn said. "It's a good plan."

"It's a stupid plan. If that thing hasn't contaminated the water yet, blowing its brains out will finish the job." Andrea said.

"She's right." Shane said. "Can't risk it."

"So it has to come out alive?" T-Dog said, cocking a brow.

"So to speak." Shane smirked.

"How do we do that?" Glenn asked, leaning in to peer at the ugly thing.

Rick and Hershel were overlooking the maps Maggie had provided and he watched intently as Hershel pointed out the key features.

"The interstate where you broke down is here." He said. "There's your creek. My farm is here. We're looking out that way, south-southeast." He pushed himself up with his walking stick. They'd driven out a way for a better look at the area. Rick pointed to the map.

"We missed this branch of the creek entirely. If they went that direction, they'd be miles from where we looked." He said, a thrill of hope running through him.

"Rick, take a moment. Come look." Hershel said. Rick stood and followed him a little further away from the truck. They looked out across the hills in the distance, the creek running through a field.

"That's something, isn't it? It's good to pause for an occasional reminder." Hershel said.

"Of what?"

"Whatever comes to mind. For me it's often God." Rick looked down. "No thoughts on that?"

"Last time I asked God for a favour and stopped to admire a view my son got shot." Rick said. Hershel nodded. "I try not to mix it up with the almighty anymore. Best we stay out of each other's way."

"Lori told me your story. How you were shot, the coma. Yet you came out of it somehow. You did not feel God's hand in yours?"

Rick chuckled.

"At that moment? No, I did not."

"In all the chaos you found your wife and boy. Then he was shot and he survived. That tells you nothing?" Hershel said, confused by his lack of faith.

"It tells me God's got a strange sense of humour." He said before returning to the map.

Back at the well, the group attempted to lure the walker into the rope with a lump of ham.

"He's not going for it." Dale said.

"Maybe 'cause a canned ham don't kick and scream when you try to eat it." T-Dog muttered.

"He's right. There's a reason the dead didn't come back to life and start raiding our cupboards." Lori said.

"We need live bait." Andrea said, and immediately looked at Glenn. He looked up, seeing all eyes turn on him, and nodded, rolling his eyes.

After being tied up and braced across the well, Glenn was beginning to feel like he was as good as dead.

"Have I mentioned that I really like your new haircut?" He mumbled, jabbering on out of fear. "You have a nice shaped head."

"Don't worry about it, bud. We're gonna get you out of here in one piece." Shane promised.

"Living piece." Glenn specified. "The living part is important."

He took a deep breath, in and out, as the others gathered around the rope tied to him.

"Nice and slow, please." He said.

"We got you." Andrea promised. Maggie stood back, arms folded.

"Oh, you people are crazy."

"You want to get it out of your well or not?" Shane called back.

"Give us an eye there, Maggie." Dale said, and she moved over, sharing a look with Glenn as they lowered him.

"Doing okay?" Maggie called, leaning over the edge.

"Yup, doing great." He called back confidently, before looking down. "Living the dream."

He pulled the looped rope down and tried to hook it on the walker.

"Little lower." Maggie said, and Glenn descended closer to the corpse. "Little more."

It seemed to be going well, but then there was an enormous screech of ripping metal and Glenn dropped a metre. He shrieked, hearing the echoes of everyone yelling above, but then he dropped even further, right into the walkers grip.

"Get me out of here!" he screamed, kicking at the walker as it reached out to him. "Get it off. Get off. Get me out!"

The walker snarled and reached, luckily too short to get a proper hold of Glenn. He flailed his legs wildly.

"Oh my God. Guys, get me out!" He yelled.

Eventually the rope started to move and he was dragged free of the walkers grip. As soon as he was high enough he grabbed the bar across the well top and jumped free, falling onto his hand and knees, quivering.

"Are you okay?" Lori asked, putting a hand on his back. When he could look up without being sick, he did and nodded, struggling to his feet.

"Back to the drawing board." Dale sighed.

"Says you." Glenn grinned, chucking the rope at him and staggering away. After a few moments required to compose himself, Glenn rejoined the others and they began to pull the walker free.

"Come on, guys, pull." T-Dog said.

"Come on, y'all." Shane echoed.

"Almost there. Come on, pull."

"Watch out, dog." Shane called as the walker began to come out of the well.

"Nice and easy. Just a little more."

It was half out, arms writhing towards T-Dog who jumped back, hand over his face.

"Come on, almost there. You got to pull it, man."

"It's stuck!" Shane yelled.

"Come on. Come on, pull!" Was all T-Dog said.

So they did, they strained and pulled as hard as they could, but in the end it didn't matter. The walker ripped in half, guts and blood spewing everywhere, its legs and a large amount of its organs falling back into the well along with a gallon of infected blood.

Glenn groaned, having been thrown backwards by the sudden release of pressure, and the group stood around in silence.

"We should seal off this well." Dale said. Glenn put a hand to his mouth as the legless walker twisted and writhed on the ground.

"Yeah, might be a good idea." Shane said, rubbing his head.

"So what do we do about-" Andrea started, but T-Dog got in there first, beating the walkers head in with a crowbar. Maggie turned away, holding back sobs that Glenn noticed. He watched her walk off.

"Good thing we didn't do anything stupid like shoot it." T-Dog said.


	32. Cherokee rose: Part 3

S2E4P3

With the issue of the well walker out of the way, Maggie and Glenn continued on with their ride into town. It was silent at first, but eventually Glenn thought of something to say.

"You know, normally this is the kind of thing I'd do on my own. Solo." He chuckled. "It's sort of my thing, you know? I'm a loner."

He got nothing back from Maggie.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine." She said.

"I saw the look on your face back at the well. Never seen one killed up close before? Guess it's kind of a shock. You know, being out on the road, we've seen a lot. Guess we've gotten a little numb to it." He said, looking down, almost ashamed to admit that killing had become so easy.

"I guess so." Maggie said as they reached the pharmacy, stopping her horse.

They stopped outside the front of the building for a moment and Glenn stared at the sign written on the window: Take what you need and God Bless. Then Maggie went inside and Glenn followed. Most of it seemed cleared out, the shelves empty, supplies scattered all over the floor.

"I'll go see what antibiotics are left." Maggie said. "What else is on the list?"

"Uh..." Glenn pulled the list from his pocket and handed it to Maggie."Why don't you get started?"

"What about you?"

"I'm gonna look around, see what's worth grabbing. Just some general stuff."

Glenn did as Lori had asked with Maggie gone and found the feminine hygiene area. He scanned the shelves for what Lori had asked for, eventually finding it on the floor and gasping, eyes wide as he realised what it was: pregnancy tests. He swallowed at the implications of this and was startled when Maggie walked up behind him.

"What have you got?" She said and he whirled, stuffing the pregnancy tests into his bag and grabbing something random as he stood.

"Um... Nothing. Just, like I said, general stuff." He said, trying to act natural. Maggie raised a brow.

"Condoms?"

Glenn gasped, cursing himself and his bad luck. He guessed he'd used it all up in the incident with the well.

"You got a girlfriend I don't know about?"

"Me? No. No." he said.

"Then you're a pretty confident guy."

It took Glenn a moment to figure out what she was saying.

"No." He said, flushing again. "No, no, no. I-I-I wasn't... I would never..."

"Something wrong with me?"

"No. No, I..." Glenn stumbled, looking for some answer that would save him from such an awkward moment. He chuckled nervously. "I would never have sex... Uh, I'm... I'm lost." He said, eventually giving up. Maggie stared at him with a smile for a while.

"I'll have sex with you." She said eventually, which was certainly not what Glenn had expected.

"Really? Why?"

"You're asking questions?" She said.

"Okay, I can't help wondering."

"It's not like our options are vast these days." She said, dropping her bag and putting her hat on a shelf. She then reached forward to take his off as well. For a moment she just looked at him, but then she leaned forward and kissed him gently. "And you're not the only one that's lonely."

Glenn was speechless and continued to stare in shock as Maggie took her top off and undid her bra. His gaze fell down for a moment.

"Wow." He sighed, then removed his own shirt.

Back at the farm, Rick and Hershel returned. He looked out at the camp his group – his family – had set up, and knew he couldn't force them back on the road, not after everything.

"You need to reconsider." He said.

"I beg your pardon?" Hershel said.

"Asking us to leave. You need to reconsider." He said, turning back to Hershel. "If you saw how it is out there you wouldn't ask. You're a man of belief. If you believe anything, believe that."

"You're putting me on the spot."

"Well, I mean to. Those people look to me for answers. I wish they didn't, but they do. But I'm not asking for them or myself. I'm asking for my boy. After the price your friend Otis paid, the least you can do is give it some thought."

Hershel stared at him, his expression as ever hard to read.

"You're a plainspoken man."

"I'm a father." Rick said. "He's the one thing I don't want to fail. I feel like I do every day. I lied to him this morning. It wasn't a big lie, but it was enough."

Hershel chuckled.

"My father didn't bother with comforting lies. He used his fist. He was a loveless, violent drunk and no good to anybody. He drove me from home when I was 15. Didn't lay eyes on this place again for many years. I was not at his deathbed, Rick. I would not grant him that and to this day do not regret it. Some men do not earn the love of their sons." He said, sitting beside Rick on the porch steps. "I don't see you having that problem."

"Will you consider my request?"

Hershel sighed.

"There are aspects to this, things that I can't and won't discuss. But if you and your people respect my rules, no promises, but I will consider it. You have my word."

"You have mine." Rick said, standing and shaking his hand, relieved.

He then turned and headed back into the house, moving to the room where Carl was asleep. Lori was in there sitting with him.

"Hey." Rick said softly, moving to Carls' side. "I'll sit with him."

"He was awake earlier when you were gone. He asked for you." She said, kissing Carl on the head and leaving the room.


	33. Cherokee rose: Part 4

S2E4P4

When Glenn and Maggie returned, Lori was quick to swoop in on him.

"Did you find it?" She asked, and Glenn swung his bag around and reached in for it, wrapped in white paper. Lori quickly swiped it under her shirt. Glenn looked at her and remembered all the times she'd snuck off with Shane, thinking she was so subtle. He wondered if Rick even knew and what would happen if she actually was pregnant.

He didn't even look at her, simply walking away.

Later, with Rick half-asleep in the chair beside him, Carl woke up.

"Hey, dad." He said.

"Hey." Rick sighed, then leaned forward. "Carl, I told you something earlier today about Ava and Sophia-"

"I know." Carl interrupted. "Mom told me."

Rick chuckled softly.

"Here I was getting ready to confess. I didn't mean to lie. I just didn't want to worry you. It's a stupid excuse but it's all I got."

"It's okay. Do you think we'll find them?"

"I know we will." Rick said, looking down. "Well." He sighed. "I don't know. But I truly believe it."

"You look tired."

Rick chuckled.

"I am tired."

"Hey," Carl said, looking slightly more chipper. "I'm like you now. We've both been shot. Isn't that weird?"

"Yeah, I think your mother would rather hear we got the same eyes. So let's keep that between us."

Carl giggled but then looked down.

"Since you're in the club now, you get to wear the hat." Rick said in an effort to cheer him up, putting the hat on his head. "Didn't you know?

Carl laughed again as it fell over his eyes.

"We'll pad the rim tomorrow so it sits better."

"Won't you miss it?"

"Maybe you'll let me borrow it from time to time." Rick said, smiling.

"We can share it."

"Okay." Rick said, leaning forward to pull the sheets up. "Sleep now."

"Okay. Hey dad?"

"Yeah?"

Carl bit his lip, looking uncertain for a moment.

"What is it?"

"I don't know if I should tell." Carl admitted, looking down. "I don't want you and mum to fight."

Rick frowned.

"Why would we fight?"

"Well," Carl chewed his lip. "I felt weird earlier. Like I shouldn't mention Ava cause mum'll be mad."

Rick frowned, his heart jumping at the thought of him getting tied up in the mess that was his emotions.

"She won't get mad at you. She loves you."

"But dad," Carl said, pushing the brim up a bit more. "I don't…I don't think she likes Ava, and I don't think she wants her to come back."

Rick clenched his jaw but forced a smile onto his face.

"Don't worry about it, Carl. Your mum's just too worried about you to worry about Ava right now. Okay?"

Carl nodded, looking reassured.

"I love you, dad." He said.

"I love you." Rick echoed, watching as Carl laid back, the brim of the hat covering his eyes.

He moved from the room only briefly once Carl was asleep, removing his sheriffs badge and other tags before undoing his shirt. He folded it and put it in a drawer before carefully placing the badges on top. When he looked up he noticed Lori stood behind him. She moved over to him and he turned when she went to touch him.

"Are you putting them away?" She asked. In answer he leaned back and pushed the drawer closed. Lori swallowed.

"Tomorrow we go looking for Ava and Sophia." He said, noting Lori's jaw clench. She looked away.

"Wow." Rick said, scoffing. Lori frowned.

"What?"

"Do you know what Carl just said to me?" He said, fighting back his anger. "He said he thinks you don't like Ava, that you don't want her to be found."

Lori's jaw dropped.

"That's not true!"

"Isn't it? Why are you being like this?"

"Oh, can you blame me for not liking the woman you love!" She said, tears falling down her face. Rick swallowed.

"It's not her fault what I feel."

"She feels it, too! It's obvious. I've seen the way she looks at you. It makes me want to strangle-" Lori cut herself off with a sob, pressing her hands to her mouth.

Rick blinked in surprise, frowning at the thought of Ava feeling the same way. She'd brushed their night together off so quickly that he'd assumed there was nothing but the alcohol fuelling that night.

"That night…" Lori said as if reading his mind. "I didn't want you two to go alone because I knew something would happen. Something did, didn't it?" She turned to face him and for a moment he said nothing.

"I knew it." She sobbed, going to storm out but Rick grabbed her arm.

"You're going to throw that in my face? One night that we both agreed to forget, yet you and Shane-"

Lori turned to him, utterly shocked. Rick swallowed.

"Yes, I know about that. I also know it went on after I came back, even if it was that once in the CDC."

Lori looked away, blinking back tears.

"Do you love him?" He asked her. "Do you love Shane?"

There was no reply, but Rick couldn't tell if this was because she was or because she wasn't. It was pretty damning though. Rick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I told Ava I wanted to make our marriage work for Carls' sake, but now I'm not sure that it's possible."

Lori sobbed.

"Rick please. I do love you and what happened between me and Shane? At the CDC I was drunk and he came to me, before I thought you were dead, but I want this to work. I want to give us a chance. For Carl."

Rick looked at her tear-streaked face and rubbed his own. Lori put a hand on his chest.

"Please." She whispered.

Rick continued to look to the side but nodded, his jaw clenching. Lori continued to sob as she wrapped her arms around him and Rick held her, praying he hadn't made the wrong choice.

The third day had passed, though Ava was barely aware of this fact. She drifted in and out of consciousness, perched on that tree at the bottom of the slope, and gripped the sharp rock with feverishly shaking hands.


	34. Chupacabra: Part 1

S2E5P1

Rick spent the night beside Lori, but he couldn't sleep. His mind wouldn't let him, always finding something else to focus on. He worried about Ava and Sophia. He worried about Carl. He worried over his decision. As soon as the sun began to rose, he left that tent and readied himself for the day ahead.

After checking in on Carl, Rick returned to camp where pretty much everyone was up and about.

"Morning, guys." He said, strolling up past one of the tents. "Let's get going. We've got a lot of ground to cover."

Lori was hanging clothes with Carol and Rick caught her eye. She smiled at him. He didn't manage to smile back, instead walking off to the truck as the others followed to learn their place.

"Alight, everyone's getting new search grids today." Rick said, laying the map out again as Andrea, T-Dog, Daryl and Shane joined him. "If they made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, they might have gone further east than we've been so far."

"I'd like to help."

Rick looked up, seeing the kid from Hershels' family. He still wasn't entirely sure what his name was.

"I know the area pretty well and stuff."

"Hershel's okay with this?" Rick said, frowning.

"Yeah, yeah. He said I should ask you." The kid said.

"Alright then. Thanks."

"Nothing about what Daryl found screams Sophia and Ava to me." Shane said, sitting in the truck. "Anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse."

"Anybody includes them, right?" Andrea said.

"Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high." Daryl said, gesturing.

"So we might find Sophia, but there's still no Ava." Shane pointed out, driving another sliver of pain into Ricks' chest. He swallowed and ignored it.

"It's a good lead." Andrea said.

"Maybe we'll pick up their trail again." Rick said.

"No maybe about it." Daryl argued. "I'm gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here, take a bird's-eye view of the whole grid. If they're up there, I'll spot them."

"Good idea." T-Dog said, nodding. "Maybe you'll see your chupacabra up there too."

"Chupacabra?" Rick frowned.

"You never heard this?" Dale said incredulously, then looked down. "Oh. It was Ava I told – an attempt to save us from more i-spy." He chuckled at the thought, but quickly sobered. "Anyway, our first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra."

The kid scoffed.

"What are you braying at, jackass?" Daryl said, glaring at him.

"You believe in a blood-sucking dog?" he said.

"Do you believe in dead people walking around?" Daryl retorted.

The kid didn't answer, but reached across the hood for a gun.

"Hey, hey." Rick said, grabbing the rifle before he could. "Ever fire one before?"

"Well, if I'm going out, I want one."

"Yeah," Daryl chuckled. "And people in hell want slurpees."

He slung his crossbow over his back, grabbed Avas' spear and then walked away. Shane climbed out of the car and leaned over the passenger door.

"Why don't you come train tomorrow?" he suggested. "If you're serious, I'm a certified instructor."

"For now he can come with us." Andrea said.

"He's yours to babysit then."

Rick and Shane headed out, nailing pieces of material to trees so they could know where they had been. It was just the two of them alone for the first time in a long time, almost since before the outbreak, and with everything that had come out the night before, it was more than a little awkward. Rick didn't let on, though.

"You remember the name of that waitress at the dairy queen when we were in high school?" He said, drawing on a topic that was bound to get them smiling. "I know you, Shane, well enough to know that there is only one sure-fire way of engaging you in a conversation, and that is to start asking you about girls you did in high school. I don't want to, but I'm willing to do it if that's what it takes."

"Maryanne." Shane said. "I told you about her?"

"In excruciating detail."

"Excruciating, my ass. You used to live for those details back in the day."

"I was impressionable." Rick said and Shane chuckled. "And I may have been living vicariously through you."

"Why wouldn't you, with my impressive list of accomplishments?" Shane grinned. "I was an artist in his prime. A protégé."

"You mean prodigy."

Shane stopped.

"Maybe. Is prodigy what you call a young high school stud that bangs 30-year-olds on the regular?"

Rick laughed, pushing on through the trees.

"What 30-year-old were you banging in high school?"

"The P.E. Teacher."

"Mr. Daniels?" Rick said, frowning as he looked back at his friend.

"Mrs. Kelly."

Rick laughed properly then and so did Shane.

"The girls volleyball coach?" He said, incredulous. "Wasn't she married? C'mon. You know what I just remembered? Why I never ask you about this stuff."

"Why don't we talk about your high school love life then, huh?" Shane retorted.

"Well, that's a short conversation. It may even already be over."

"That right? There was Holly, right? Nope, that was me too."

Rick shook his head, grinning.

"Then there was Sheila. That's the one you lied to me about."

"I never lied about Sheila." Rick said, turning to Shane. "I just got mixed up about what the bases meant."

"Just so you know, a home run, that usually means a sexual act. That's intercourse."

"Yeah, I realize that now." Rick said.

"I think what you did was more like a ground rule double or something."

"I'm aware of the judge's ruling."

There was a moment of silence and Rick could already feel the good mood fading.

"Shouldn't be talking about this stuff." Shane said, sombre again. "That life, it's gone and everyone in it. Sheila. Maryanne. Mrs. Kelly. It's like we're old folk. All the people in our stories are all dead."

"We can't just forget them." Rick said.

"The hell we can't. It's hard enough accepting what's happened without digging up the past. I'll tell you what it is. It's nostalgia. It's like a drug. Keeps you from seeing things the way they are. That's a danger. You got people depending on you." Shane said, almost accusatory.

"You think I don't know that?"

"I don't know." Shane admitted. "What are we doing? You got every able body at your disposal out scourging these woods for a little girl and a woman we both know are likely dead."

Rick bristled.

"You think we should abandon the search?"

"It's not my call, is it?"

"I'm asking." Rick said, but Shane just started walking on. "I'm asking."

"Survival, Rick. It means making hard decisions. But you've got this knack. You spread us thinner and thinner. I'm trying to save lives here and you're out saving cats from trees."

"Is that what you think Sophia and Ava are?" Rick said, glaring at Shane in disbelief. "Cats in a tree?"

"Don't do that, man." Shane said, swallowing hard. "Don't twist my words. How many times we get called up to look for a missing child, man? You got 72 hours. 72 hours, and after that you're looking for a body. And that was before. I mean you honestly think we're just gonna find Sophia and Ava alive?"

"Are you that sure we won't?"

Shane sighed, shifting from one foot to the other.

"We being completely honest?"

"I'm counting on you to be." Rick said, planting his hands on his hips.

"It's math, man. Love or not, Sophia and Ava, they only matter to the degree in which they don't drag the rest of us down."

Rick shook his head, holding back the scorn and disappointment he felt. Shane chuckled darkly.

"I thought you wanted honest." He walked on a bit, panting hard before turning back in anger. "If we'd just moved on, man, we'd be halfway to fort Benning right now and Carl wouldn't have gotten shot. You said so yourself. But we're out here, we're risking lives. Your own son almost died. Otis, he paid that bill. What the hell are we still doing this for?"

Rick ran forward.

"I had her in my hand, Shane. She looked in my eyes and trusted me. Ava didn't like the plan, but she trusted me. I failed them. If I hadn't, they wouldn't be out here. I think they're still alive and I'm not gonna write them off."

Shane looked away, then snorted, gesturing to a piece of material on a tree nearby.

"It's blue." He said, stating the obvious. "It's Andrea and T-Dog. Looks like we wandered into their grid."

Shane headed off and Rick took a moment to calm down, rubbing his head and hoping beyond hope that everything would work out in the end.


	35. Chupacabra: Part 2

_Authors note: Just a note to let you know from now on I'm going to stick to third person in general now so with Ava returning, I can continue to include the other characters perspectives :)_

* * *

S2E5P2

In a creek not far away, Ava's light and fitful sleep was broken by an almighty crash followed by a familiar cry.

"Sonovabitch."

She looked up, barely able to lift her head, and saw Daryl thrashing further down the stream. At first Ava didn't know what she was seeing and simply let her head fall back again, unconsciousness taking her in seconds.

When she next woke up, it was because Daryl had found her and was shaking her hard.

"Ava? Ava, can you hear me? You in there?"

She looked up, blinking as she slowly brought Daryls' face into clarity.

"Daryl?" Ava said before coughing violently. She was so thirsty. He grabbed her arms.

"You alright? Can you stand?"He asked. Ava shook her head.

"My leg."

She said nothing more, falling back against the slope as Daryl leaned down to inspect her leg. He touched the make-shift bandage and she howled.

"Alright, alright." He said, letting go. Ava panted. "What happened? Where's Sophia?"

"You haven't found her?"

"We've been looking for you two for days."

"Days? Wha-" She shook her head. How long it had been didn't matter. "We were attacked by walkers. Sophia ran off and I went after. Managed to kill them both but fell off the cliff. Sophia was still up there, but I haven't seen her since."

Daryl looked down and nodded.

"We need to get out of here."

Ava nodded, detangling herself from her perch and, with Daryls' help, stood without making too much noise. Her leg felt like it was on fire.

"Daryl, you're hurt." Ava said, noticing the arrow sticking out his side for the first time.

"Ain't nothing." He said. "You can drop that poxy stone now. Got something better."

She looked down as he leaned her against a tree and waded off into the creek, noticing the rock still firmly clasped in her hand. Ava unfurled her fingers and the rock fell free. When she looked up again, taking a second for her vision to clear, she saw Daryl return with the spear. Ava grinned weakly.

"I didn't think I'd ever see this thing again."

"Yeah, well, now you're gonna need it if we're getting up there."

Ava looked up at the incline and swayed just from that.

"I'm not sure I can, Daryl. I couldn't the first time I woke up here and I've only got weaker."

"Yeah? Well now you've got me and the spear. Ain't nothing to it."

She hoped he was right. With Daryl back beside her, Ava found she had hope for the first time since falling down here. She'd been weak and stupid, lying around because the pain was too great. She knew she had to keep fighting if she wanted to survive. Fight to see Rick again, fight to see her group, her family.

Ava nodded to Daryl and jabbed the pointed end of the spear into the slope, pulling herself up the first bit while Daryl gave her a leg up. She cried out in pain, but got a footing and stood, shaking, a little further up the incline. Ava jabbed the spear more securely and reached back to Daryl, who grabbed a stick and did the same thing. He groaned in pain as he climbed up as well and, leaning on each other, aiding one another, they slowly began the ascent.

Rick and Shane returned to camp at odds, both silent and pissed with one another. Lori watched as Shane took Ricks gun and stormed off.

"Something wrong?" She said, looking at Rick. He just stared after Shane.

"I just had a long talk with Shane." He said, eventually pulling his gaze back to his estranged wife. "He wants to call off the search."

"What do you think?" Lori said.

"What if it was Carl? Would you want us to keep looking?"

"If it was Carl, yes I'd want to know one way or another."

Rick nodded. He'd want the same thing.

"Shane says my good intentions are making us weaker, that I can't make the hard decisions for the good of the group. What do you think?"

"They're all hard decisions."

"Do you think he's right?" Rick said, hoping for a straight answer for once.

"I think he's concerned."

Rick sighed, rubbing his head.

"Mr. Grimes?" A young blonde girl said – Beth? Rick couldn't be sure. "My dad wants to talk to you."

He nodded and followed without a second look to Lori. Rick found Hershel filling up a generator and went over to him.

"One of my horses is missing." He said. "Did one of your people take it?"

"I was given the impression you knew about that."

"I did not."

Rick nodded, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"I'll have a word with Daryl."

"And Jimmy?" Hershel said, screwing the cap back on. "You took him out today. Did he also give you the impression of my consent?"

"No, he said it outright." Rick said. "I took the boy at his word."

"Jimmy is 17. He's not my kin but I am responsible for him. These things need to be cleared with me."

"Sounds like we need to work on our communication. What do you suggest?"

"Keep it simple." Hershel said. "I'll control my people, you control yours."

Halfway up the slope, Daryls' stick broke and Ava's strength began to wane.

"Oh, come on." Daryl panted as she swayed, almost falling backwards. "You've done half. Stop being such a pussy." Ava couldn't tell if he was talking to her or not. Her fingers were numb, her head throbbing and anywhere that wasn't frozen was on fire. She couldn't tell half the time if her eyes were even open they clouded over so much.

"Come on." Ava mumbled, her mouth so dry that the words were nothing but breath. She kept moving, kept pushing with Daryl. He was the stronger of the two but even he was getting weaker.

They grabbed the tree roots and climbed, the higher they got, the more they spoke, oddly enough. Daryl kept muttering about a chupacabra and Ava couldn't stop verbalising her own thoughts, urging herself on and up. She was so weak, so tired, so agonised, but she continued.

When they reached the top, it was Daryl who clamoured up first while Ava clung to a small tree. She was shaking so badly even her vision wobbled and faded and blackened…

Ava jerked awake as a hand grabbed her hair and she screeched, looking to see Daryl leaning over the edge, fist tight around her matted locks. He dragged Ava back to the slope she'd almost fallen down again and up onto dry ground.

Ava couldn't believe it, that they'd made it despite all odd. She still felt like she was going to die, which was a little worrying, but at least they weren't trapped anymore. Ava laughed on and on, over and over, giggling hysterically as Daryl dragged her to her feet and slung an arm over her shoulders.

"Come on crazy bones." He muttered and Ava chortled again.

"Did you just call me crazy bones?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Cause you're crazy and light as bones."

Ava continued to snigger, forgetting to move her feet or that she was even capable of doing so. Daryl grunted as he had to practically drag her through the woods.

"I take it back." He said after a while. "You weigh a tonne."

Ava smirked, letting her eyes fall shut for a moment. Daryl cursed but it sounded very far away, and then she heard nothing at all.

Glenn sat in the RV, thinking over what Lori had said. Now he didn't know if he should tell someone or not. He had no idea what to do in this situation. Was it a good thing or bad? Was Lori happy or sad? He didn't know and he didn't want to upset her more.

He startled when Dale came in, who seemed just as surprised to see him.

"Sorry." Glenn said, running a hand over the book he was holding. "Just returning your book."

"Oh no, I'm sorry." Dale said, moving forward and picking it up. "If I had known the world was ending, I'd have brought better books."

Dale moved into the back of the RV and Glenn bit his lip before following.

"Dale," He said softly. "You think Andrea's on her period?"

Dale raised his hand and gave him a warning look.

"I'm only asking 'cause it's like all the women are acting really weird. And I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time."

"I'm gonna advise you to keep that theory to yourself." Dale said. Glenn snorted.

"Yeah."

"Who else is acting weird?"

Glenn sat back down again, rubbing his chin.

"Maggie."

"Ah, Maggie." Dale said.

"She started off being mean to me. Then she wanted to have sex with me. And now she's being mean to me again. And I don't even want to know what's going on with Lori."

"What's going on with Lori?" Dale said, chuckling at Glenn.

"Nothing. I don't know."

"Alright, let's take this back a step." Dale said, leaning opposite Glenn. "How do you know that Maggie wanted to have sex with you?"

Glenn cleared his throat and gave Dale a look. His amusement instantly faded.

"Oh, son, you didn't." Glenn couldn't help the massive grin on his face. "Did it ever occur to you how her father might feel about this?"

His grin instantly faded.

"She's 22."

"And he is our host."

Glenn looked down, nodding.

"He doesn't know."

"Well, see that it stays that way. Jesus, Glenn, what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I might be dead tomorrow." He said and instantly Dale's frustration ebbed away. Glenn wished Ava was here. She'd understand. She'd be happy for him.

"Thanks for the book." He said, standing and ignoring Dale's attempt to apologise. "You're right, it sucks."


	36. Chupacabra: Part 3

S2E5P3

"Walker. Walker!" Andrea yelled, drawing Ricks' attention. He ran out to the camp.

"Just the one?" He called to Andrea.

"I bet I can nail it from here." She said.

"No." Rick said. "No, Andrea. Put the gun down."

Shane and T-Dog moved out from the shade of the tree and headed towards the field.

"You'd best let us handle this." He said.

"Shane, hold up. Hershel wants to deal with walkers." Rick said, trying to stop him.

"What for, man?" Shane frowned, shrugging. "We got it covered."

Rick cursed and raced into the RV grabbing his gun before heading after the others. He, Shane, Glenn and T-Dog raced through the grass towards the walker. It was an odd one, limping and hunched over to one side. It looked huge from a distance, but as they got closer, it became apparent that it was carrying something over its shoulders.

"What the hell?" T-Dog said as they slowed near the walker.

Only it wasn't a walker, it was Daryl, limping, wounded, and carrying a body over his shoulders.

Rick immediately knew it was Ava. Her clothes were dirtied and torn, but he knew them. His knees almost gave way.

"Is she dead?" Glenn said, staring in horror.

"She wasn't when I put her on my back." Daryl slurred, struggling under the weight. He listed to one side just before a gunshot blew past them and sent Daryl flying backwards, Ava sprawling out behind him.

"No!" Rick yelled, racing forwards. Daryl groaned and shifted, grabbing Shane as he knelt beside him. Rick grabbed Ava and turned her to face him. She was so pale, just like Carl had been, and for a moment he thought she was dead. His stomach dropped.

"No, no, no." He muttered, pressing his fingers to her throat and staying deathly still, waiting.

He felt a pulse, her heartbeat weak but there. He let out a sigh.

"She's alive." He said, pulling her close to him and picking her up while Shane and T-Dog grabbed Daryl.

"Oh my God, is he dead?" Andrea said as she and Dale raced over. They both stopped and stared when they saw Rick carrying Ava.

"Unconscious." Shane said. "You just grazed him."

"Is that Ava?" Dale said, falling behind them as they headed back to the farm house.

"Guys," T-Dog said, drawing back their attention. "Isn't this Sophia's?"

He held up the small raggedy doll the little girl Eliza had given her all those weeks ago. Rick turned back to the house, spotting Hershel and the others waiting, confused. He tightened his grip and Ava and ran her back to the house.

Hershel guided them inside, putting both Daryl and Ava in the same bed as they were running out. He went to Ava and looked into her eyes.

"It was her leg." Daryl said. "That's what was hurting her."

Hershel immediately went to the knotted jacket and cut it away. Rick held her hand and watched, horrified, as Hershel pulled the material back to reveal a clearly infected wound. The flesh around it was angry and red, the wound itself deep and leaking yellow pus.

"Maggie," Hershel said. "Get me an IV and the antibiotics. This infection may just clean us out." Hershel warned Rick.

"Do it." Was all he said.

They rushed around him, setting Ava up with the IV and antibiotics without her even stirring.

"Rick." Hershel said, preparing an array of bandages, pads, and water. "I need you to hold her leg still for me."

He nodded and grabbed her upper thigh and her knee, holding it steady at Hershel grabbed a scalpel. He took a breath before very quickly cutting down the line of her wound.

Ava immediately shot upright, screaming in pain. Rick grunted as she punched and battered his back, trying to get him to let go, but he didn't. Despite the pain he felt at hearing her scream and the tears streaming down his face, he kept a hold of her leg while Hershel squeezed and swabbed and washed the wound clear of any infection. By the time he finished, Ava had fallen unconscious draped across Ricks back. Maggie laid her back when she returned with the needle and thread and Hershel went about sewing the wound together.

When he was done, Rick let go of Ava's leg and turned to look at her. Her face was white and covered in sweat.

"We may have to drain the wound again in a few hours but for now there's nothing we can do but pray the antibiotics are enough and pray she doesn't have septicaemia."

"Septicaemia?" Rick said, looking up, still dazed.

"Blood poisoning. Once it gets to that stage, it was difficult for even hospitals to cure."

Rick swallowed and nodded, perching on the edge of the bed as Hershel turned to Daryl. He assessed the wound, then pulled the arrow free.

"Where did you find her?" Rick asked as Hershel sewed him up.

"Down a cliff. She said she chased after Sophia and some walkers, managed to kill them before falling down into the creek. I only found her cause I fell into the same one. It's also where I found the doll."

"And Sophia?"

"Ava said she didn't fall."

Rick nodded. It was good news in a sense, but it also meant Sophia had been out there alone since the very beginning.

"How's he looking?" Rick asked Hershel.

"I had no idea we'd be going through the antibiotics so quickly." He said, almost accusingly. "Any idea what happened to my horse?"

"Yeah, the one who almost killed me? If it's smart, it left the country." Daryl said.

"We call that one Nelly, as in nervous Nelly. I could have told you she'd throw you if you'd bothered to ask." Hershel moved over to Rick. "It's a wonder you people have survived this long."

He quickly told the two of them to leave him be and though Rick was desperate to stay by Ava's side, he obliged. She looked so weak that he doubted she'd be awake for a while, but he kept his eyes on her as he moved to the door, taking one final look before stepping out. Lori was sat on the floor outside and stood when they emerged.

"They'll be all right." He told her, choosing not to think about what Hershel had said.

"I hate to say it," Shane said as Rick went to leave. "But I'm with Hershel on this one. Can't keep going out there, not after this."

"You'd quit now?" Rick said. "You thought yesterday that they were as good as dead but we found Ava alive."

"Barely. You heard what Hershel said. She'll live if she doesn't have blood poisoning but if she does she'll just clear out our antibiotics and die anyway."

"What're you saying? Are you suggesting we let her die?" Rick yelled, getting into Shanes' face. Lori stepped between them and pushed Rick back, giving him a look.

"Daryl just risked his life to bring back Ava." Rick said, managing to calm himself.

"That is one way to look at it." Shane admitted. "The way I see it, Daryl almost died today for a woman who looks dead already."

Rick had never felt pure loathing for his friend, but in that moment he did. He hated Shane. How had things changed so much that could think that?

"Yeah," Rick said, nodding. "I know how you see it."

He turned away from Shane and headed out of the house. Later he returned to sit by Ava's side. The moment he sat he had to check her pulse, just to be sure. Daryl dozed next to her and though he could think of no reason why he would sit by her side until she woke up, he didn't care. He would be there for her.

Eventually, when the sky had gone dark, she did.

At first he felt her fingers twitch, then she shifted and groaned.

"Ava?"

She blinked, frowning up at him before realising who it was she was looking at. Her jaw dropped.

"Rick?"

Rick couldn't help it. He started laughing and crying, pressing the back of her hand to his lips. She giggled too.

"Oh Christ, don't get her started." Daryl grumbled, turning over with a groan. Ava chuckled again.

"Oh yeah." She said, grinning sleepily. "In the woods. I couldn't stop laughing."

"Why?" Rick said, staring deep into those beautiful blue eyes when she looked up at him.

"I…I don't know." She chuckled. "I must've been delirious of something."

She shifted, trying to sit up but not getting very far.

"Easy." Rick said, "You need to rest."

"Where are we?" She said, frowning.

"Well, it's kinda a long story."

"I've got time…" Ava said, trailing off, her eyes already dropping. Rick smirked.

"Do you?" He said, but she was already gone, breathing deeply and strong. Rick kissed the back of her hand again.

"We'll have time." He promised, squeezing her hand one last time before leaving the room to join the others for dinner.


	37. Secrets: Part 1

S2E6P1

Ava groaned, rubbing her head and turning over to see Glenn at the door. He grinned when she rolled her eyes.

"If you're here with more food, I may just puke. I've had enough people force-feeding me stuff these last few days."

"I reckon you'll like this one." Glenn said, chucking a peach at her. Ava caught it, gasped, then bit her lip.

"Man, I can't wait to eat this – but I also feel like I've been stuffed full of grossness, so I'll save it for later." She said before shifting under the covers. Glenn was immediately at her side but she waved him off as she dragged herself upright, leaning her back against the headrest. Ava'd had the room to herself for a few days now, not that she'd been awake for much of it. Rick was there when the fever broke and told her everything she'd missed. It still killed her that Sophia hadn't been found and that Carl had been shot and she hadn't been there. At least he was okay.

"I'm really getting fed up with this, Glenn." Ava said, reaching up to re-plait her hair. She'd learned when she woke that Maggie had cleaned her while she slept, which was both touching and disturbing to imagine. Still, it was nice not to wake up covered in grossness.

"Well, tough. Hershel said to stay off it for a week. You're only four days in."

"But I'm fine." Ava moaned.

"You almost died down that cliff. You would've if it weren't for Daryl."

This she knew too, not that she remembered much of the hike to the farm. Her bunk-mate had moved outside before Ava'd even woke from the fever, so she hadn't had the chance to speak with him. Most of their group had visited her in there. Only Daryl, Shane, Lori and Carl hadn't. Daryl Ava understood, so she didn't expect touchy-feely, but Lori's absence was strange to her. She'd always seemed kind and caring about others and Shane was, well, Shane.

"I'm aware of that, but I didn't die. I survived and I don't intend to spend the rest of my life trapped in this bed. I need fresh air."

Glenn sighed.

"I'll get out of this bed eventually. You can't tie me down."

"Wanna bet?"

Ava cocked a brow.

"You really think you could tie me down? Come on, Glenn. Even injured you're no match for me." She grinned. Glenn rolled his eyes.

"Fine. If you're going to walk you'll at least have someone to lean on."

He came to the side of the bed and Ava perked, surprised she'd actually managed to get her way. He helped her shift to the edge of the bed, then crouched and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, standing with her. He watched Ava carefully as she tested the injured leg.

"Everything alright?"

"Think so. It aches but it doesn't hurt, not the way it would if it was bad."

They took a judging step and everything seemed to be going okay. Glenn took her back to the bed and helped her put shoes on. Maggie had dressed Ava in a pair of stone trousers and a white vest top which she now covered with a black and yellow plaid. Glenn helped her up again and they headed outside.

As they hobbled onto the porch, Ava grinned.

"Wow. I haven't seen anything this communal since the camp."

"Yeah." Glenn said, helping her down the steps. "It's been nice having a place to get used to, to live."

"Ava!"

She turned to see Carl running towards them, the people in the camp drawn by the commotion and smiling when they saw Ava. Carl wrapped his arms around her waist so tight she would have fallen if not for Glenn. She hugged him back with her free hand.

"Hey, buddy." Ava said, ruffling his hair.

"Carl, don't run like that. You could hurt yourself." Lori said, walking towards them.

"She's right bud." Ava said.

"Hypocrite." Glenn smirked. She elbowed him.

"I'm really glad you're okay." Carl said, letting go of her with a smile that warmed her heart. Ava squeezed his shoulder.

"I'm glad you're okay, too."

"Carl." Lori called, and Carl went back over to her. They went back towards camp and Ava frowned. Lori hadn't even looked at her.

"Ava." Andrea came over, arms wide and wrapped her in a big hug that required Ava letting go of Glenn. From there she was passed around the people of the group who were relieved to see her up and about. Over Dale's shoulder Ava saw Rick and Shane by the hood of a truck. Rick smiled when she caught his eye and quickly looked away.

Glenn returned to her side and she immediately steered them over, aware of what Rick was doing.

"Yeah," She heard Rick say as they approached. "What's up that way?"

"A housing development." Jimmy said. "It went in maybe 10 years ago."

Rick nodded, then turned to Shane.

"Take a run up there after gun practice. I'll hold down the fort here, but take backup. After what went down with Daryl, I don't want anyone going out alone. We stay in pairs."

"I'll take suggestions on a partner." Shane said.

"See how they do on the range, then take your pick." Rick suggested, turning as Glenn and Ava approached.

"Look who it is." Shane said. "Miracle in the flesh."

"If we're calling Daryl Dixon the deliverer of miracles, I think we need to have a serious word with God."

Rick chuckled, grabbing a peach from the basket Glenn was holding in his other hand. Shane grabbed one too and they bit into it, moaning. Ava's stomach roiled.

"You tried these?" Rick said, quirking a brow at her.

"Not yet. I still feel icky after, you know, everything. I'll have one later."

Rick frowned and she could practically see the concern building.

"If you're not feeling well, why're you up? Shouldn't you be resting?"

"If I rest any more, I might never wake up. Or meld with the bed."

"I already tried getting her to rest." Glenn said. "She said she'd come out on her own anyway."

Ava rolled her eyes.

"Yes, yes. I'm a naughty girl. Now what's this about Sophia? What's the plan?"

Rick chuckled, finishing his peach and throwing the stone into the field.

"You won't be doing anything, Ava. I think Carol can forgive you for not going out again. Not only can you barely walk, but you nearly died last time."

She bit her lip.

"I know. And as much as it pains me to say it, I know I can't go after her." Ava rested a hand on the handle of her dagger, lovingly returned by Glenn. "Though you can be certain this thing is never leaving my sight again."

Rick chuckled.

"Good."

"We'd like to join you for gun training today."

They turned to see two of the women who lived on the farm – Patricia and Beth.

"Hershel's been very clear. I can't involve any of you in what we do without his okay." Rick said.

"He doesn't like it, but he consented." Beth said.

"Otis was the only one who knew guns." Patrica told them. Ava didn't know Otis, but she'd heard about what happened to him. "Now that he's gone, we gotta learn to protect ourselves. Her father saw the sense in that."

"No offense, but I'll ask Hershel myself." Rick said.


	38. Secrets: Part 2

S2E6P2

Later Ava was resting in the camp when Shane brought Carl over and told him to sit on the bench. She looked between them, but nothing was said.

"You okay?"

"I think I'm in trouble." Carl said. Ava patted him on the shoulder.

Rick, Lori and Dale gathered around them and Shane gave Lori a gun. It seemed Carl had stolen it.

"How the hell did this happen?" Lori said, furious.

"Well, it's my fault." Dale said. Carl looked down at his feet. "I let him into the RV. He said he wanted a walkie, that you sent him for one." He pointed at Rick. Rick looked down and sighed.

"So on top of everything else, he lied." Lori said. "What's he thinking?"

"He wants to learn how to shoot. He asked me to teach him." Shane said, shaking his head. "Now it's none of my business, but I'm happy to do it. It's your call."

"I'm not comfortable with it." Lori said. Ava sighed and Carl looked at her. She shrugged, giving him a sympathetic look. If it were Ava's choice, she'd teach her child how to use one. Sure, she wouldn't let him run around with it, but he'd at least know how to use one properly. It seemed Rick and Shane agreed with her. They both sighed.

"Oh, don't make me out to be the unreasonable one here." Lori said. "Rick?"

"I know. I have my concerns too, but..."

"There's no but. He was just shot. He's just back on his feet and he wants a gun?"

"Better than him being afraid of 'em." Rick pointed out. "There are guns in camp for a reason. He should learn to handle them safely."

"I don't want my kid walking around with a gun."

"But how can you defend that? You can't let him go around without protection." Rick said. Ava agreed with him to a degree and considered speaking up with her opinion, but the cold shoulder Lori was giving her suggested any parenting advice from would not go down well.

"He's as safe as he'll ever be right here." Lori said. "Look, everything you're saying makes perfect sense. It feels wrong. I mean I didn't feel good about him following you out into the woods. And I wish I'd said something. I should've gone with my gut."

"He's growing up, thank God." Rick said. "We've got to start treating him more like an adult."

"Then he needs to act like one. He's not mature enough to handle a gun."

Carl, having had enough listening to the argument, stood and went over to them.

"I'm not gonna play with it, mum. It's not a toy. I'm sorry I disappointed you, but I want to look for Sophia and I want to defend our camp. I can't do that without a gun." He said.

"Shane's the best instructor I know." Rick implored. Lori wouldn't look at him. "I've seen him teach kids younger than Carl."

There was a moment of silence as they waited for Lori's decision. She still refused to look at Rick but eventually sighed and grabbed Carls' chin.

"You will take this seriously and you will behave responsibly. And if I hear from anyone in this camp that you're not living up to our expectations..." She threatened.

"He won't let you down." Rick said. Carl nodded.

With that decided, the group prepared to go off for practice and Rick led Carl to the car. Ava watched them, smiling at the bond between them. Her heart clenched as she tried to imagine what Rick had been through nearly loosing Carl. It would have killed Ava to lose Riley in a similar way and she wasn't even her child.

Ava sighed, sitting on that bench all alone. People had things to do and she was stuck. She twitched her good leg until her butt was too numb to bear and slowly stood, testing her full weight on her leg. It stung a bit more than with support, but she could limp slowly around. Ava only had one destination in mind and hobbled over to it, stopping outside the sealed tent.

"Daryl?"

The zip undid and he peered out at her.

"What're you doing? Shouldn't you be resting?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Everyone says that, but I'm fine. Although, I don't think I'll crouch down to get a better look at you."

Daryl cocked a brow, frowning.

"Why would you want a better look at me?"

Ava sighed.

"I meant to look you in the eye. I just wanted to say thank you for saving me. If you hadn't helped me out of that creek, I'd be dead by now."

Daryl shrugged.

"It was nothing."

"It was my life, Daryl. So thank you. Suck it up and accept the gratitude."

Daryl rolled his eyes.

"You're welcome." He said, leaning forward to re-zip the tent.

Ava chuckled to herself and shuffled off.

"Ava? What the hell are you doing?" Glenn ran over and immediately took her arm. Ava rolled her eyes again and groaned.

"If you don't leave me alone, I might have to threaten you." She said as he led her to the swing seat.

"You won't. I have something to do, but then I'll be right back to entertain you. Just don't move, alright?"

Ava sighed but obeyed, looking up and seeing Rick rifling through the gun bag. He was smiling softly at them and chuckled when she caught his gaze.

"I didn't know Glenn was your personal nurse." He said.

"Shut up."

He chuckled again.

Ava looked over her shoulder and watched Lori approach. She looked concerned but didn't notice Ava in the seat, something she was glad for. She didn't know what was up with her but it was getting on Ava's nerves.

"Hershel expects us to leave?" Lori murmured as she reached Rick. Ava's heart clenched. "Does anybody else know?"

"Not yet." Rick replied and Ava closed her eyes, sighing, already trying to detach herself from this place, mentally preparing for a life back on the road. She scratched her leg.

"Were you going tell me?" Lori said.

"Of course."

"When? How long have you known?"

"Not long. You don't need to worry about this."

"How can you expect me not to worry?" Lori said, glaring at him. "We have shelter here and food and water and medical care."

"I've been talking with Hershel." Rick said, trying to soothe her. "It's not carved in stone."

"He thinks it is. We have to fix this. People are settling in here. They'll be devastated."

"I know. I'm working on it."

"Maybe I can talk to him too and plead our case."

"No," Rick interrupted. "Things are uneasy. The best thing right now is to give Hershel some space."

There was silence for a moment and Ava saw the glare Lori sent Rick and bristled, biting her lip. It was none of her business – was it?

"Don't look at me like that." Rick sighed.

"Like what?"

"Like you're scared. Like you don't trust me."

"Can you blame me?" Lori said. Ava realised after a while that she was glaring at her feet and turned to look back at them. "I don't understand how you could keep something like this from me. Carl's barely on his feet. And Sophia's still missing. Some people are hurt. How can we leave?"

"It's not what I want either, but if we have to go, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you and Carl are okay. I promised that, remember?" There was a brief pause again. "We'll get by. We will."

Lori nodded, but the look on her face told a story of resentment and anger.

"Okay." She said.

She rubbed her nose, then caught Ava's eye.

"Can we help you?" She said, her tone surprisingly vicious. Ava frowned at her as she stormed off. Rick rubbed his head.

"What was that all about?" Ava asked. He looked at her and sighed before coming to sit beside her. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"She knows."

Ava's stomach clenched.

"Knows what?"

"Everything. We had it out while you were gone. She knows about that night and she knows I know about Shane."

"Oh, Rick." Ava said, biting her lip. She reached out and rubbed his back, but quickly pulled away. It wouldn't help matters if Lori saw that. Before her hand reached her lap Rick grabbed it and squeezed it between both of his. Ava's heart jumped to her throat.

"I don't know what's going on between us anymore." He said.

"By us, so you mean you and Lori or…"

Rick chuckled and looked at Ava warmly.

"Both. That's what makes it even more complicated."

She bit her lip again and groaned.

"When did life get so complicated?"

"It's always been complicated. It just got more so when the dead started walking."

Ava snorted.

"Ain't that the truth."

They sat in silence for a while, just holding hands. Someone could see them at any time, but she realised she didn't care. She'd almost died in that creek. She'd have never seen him again and that knowledge had only made Ava's affection grow stronger. She could feel it, like a lump in her heart. Love was a little like cancer, morbid analogy as it was. It grew and grew, multiplying even faster the more of it you had. Did she love Rick? Ava was almost certain she did. She was certain she hadn't felt this strongly even with Bradley and she'd dated him for years. He was convenient, Ava realised. He'd liked her. She'd liked him. They lived together and had sex and enjoyed coupley things, but they didn't love each other. Not like this.

"I was afraid, you know." Rick said after a while, his voice thick. "So afraid that you were dead. And I wondered if God hurt Carl because I feared more for you than Sophia."

Ava didn't know what to say to that, but tears fell down her face and she squeezed his hand.

"Hey."

They quickly pulled apart as Glenn ran over.

"You alright?" He said, frowning at the tears on her face. Ava nodded and wiped them away. Rick stood and walked off.

"Yeah I'm fine. What's up?"

"Maggie and I are doing another run into town, so I can't hang out with you. I can take you inside if you want?"

She groaned.

"I'll hang out with you."

They turned to see Carl grinning at them.

"I know just what we can do."


	39. Secrets: Part 3

_Authors note: I'm really sorry this is a silly short chapter but I couldn't really find a lot for Ava to do here, not with her leg hurt. Things are definitely about to pick up though ;)_

* * *

S2E6P3

Many hours and card games later, Ava found she was being thrashed by the boy in almost everything. He definitely had luck on his side. Ava guessed she'd used hers up in the creek.

"Can I play?" Rick said, joining them by the unlit fire.

"Sure dad." Carl said, but Rick was looking at Ava. She smiled and nodded.

He sat down so they formed an awkward triangle and Ava handed out the cards for rummy.

"You know this game?"

Rick nodded.

"I reckon I can get the hang of it."

After the first round it became obvious that he didn't know the game and Ava had to share his hand until he figured it out.

"I haven't played a lot of card games sober." Was his excuse. Shane always cheating was another.

After several games in which Carl rather gleefully laughed at his Dads' failure, a car pulled up and Andrea and Shane came out. Andrea waved at them as she headed towards the RV, a grin on her face that made Ava feel icky. She knew what they'd been doing. As Rick dealt the next hand, it became obvious that Lori did as well. She glanced around, not seeing Rick and Ava playing with Carl, then headed over to him. She swallowed.

"I'm not feeling great." Ava said, trying to stand. Rick was immediately at her side and lifted her up with ease, slinging an arm over his shoulder.

"You alright? Do I need to get Hershel?"

Ava scoffed, gently whacking his chest.

"Relax, Sheriff. I've just been sitting still for too long. And I'm thirsty."

"Right then," Rick said, steering her towards the house. "Drink thirst, then a short walk. And I mean short." He warned. Ava chuckled.

"As long as this isn't a ploy to get me in the house."

"Oh, I might just tie you down to be sure you don't go wandering off." Rick smirked.

"Oh, God help me." She said, trying not to laugh too hard. Carl grabbed her free hand and squeezed it.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure he won't tie you down."

Both Rick and Ava laughed as they clamoured up the porch like some strange six-legged beast.

"My hero." Ava said, knocking the hat over his eyes as Rick opened the door.

They sat at the kitchen table for a few minutes, warning Carl not to guzzle his water otherwise he'd get a stitch when walking. He listened, taking sips with the promise of walking with them enough incentive to obey. It was touching, but Ava knew this extreme attachment had something to do with the fact that she had almost been gone. It'll ease off eventually, but she'd enjoy it for now.

"You sure you don't want to go back up to bed?" Rick asked as he helped her stand.

"I'm fine and not even remotely sleepy. I've spent most of the last ten days either unconscious of lying down. I need to stretch and move. It'll be good for me."

Rick nodded and they hobbled back out of the house. Dale nodded to them from the top of the RV and Ava smiled, waving up at him. She spotted Andrea inside the RV and Glenn and Maggie off by the fence. Ava smiled at her family.

"Can we walk up by the trees?"

"Up where you and Daryl emerged and nearly got shot?" Rick said, quirking a brow. Ava frowned.

"We nearly got shot?"

Rick chuckled.

"You were unconscious at the time."

"Andrea thought Daryl was a walker." Carl said, skipping ahead of them. "She missed."

"Thank God for that." She said, shaking her head.

They headed up towards the trees, Rick and Ava taking it in turns to tell Carl to slow down and take it easy. It was nice. The evenings in America were generally more pleasant than in England. The breeze was warm, the sun mild and nature chirped all around them. It truly was a beautiful place.

As they reached the tree line and started following it around, Ava found her leg ached a little less than before and managed to convince Rick to let her walk a little alone. Ava felt his hand hovering at the small of her back, though.

"This is nice." She said, watching the sky darken ever so slowly.

"It is. With everything that's going on, we don't take time to appreciate what's around us." Rick said, looking down at her. Ava smiled.

"What's that?" Carl asked. He was ahead of them by a few metres, peering through the trees.

"Oh God." The voice came from the trees and Rick raced to Carl, Ava hobbling a little behind. Rick and Carl stared into the trees. When she reached them she gasped and immediately grabbed Carl, pulling his face into her stomach and averting her own eyes.

Rick continued to stare at Shane and Lori.


	40. Pretty much dead already: Part 1

S2E7P1

Ava sat with the others the next morning. Andrea and Dale seemed to know something was up, though they didn't mention it. Lori dutifully ignored her. Poor Carl simply seemed confused. Ava had tried to give an excuse the day before, but couldn't think of anything. She didn't want to lie to him, but how could she tell him the truth?

When Rick had excepted what he was looking at, he'd turned and pulled Carl to his side, telling him not to look, and guided them back to the house. Once they reached it, Ava tried to talk to him but he just walked off.

So now they sat, all of them silent, the only sound Andreas' knife scraping as she sharpened it. Ava glanced at Rick. He was staring into space. Even Glenn seemed antsy, sitting outside the group. He looked to the house, then up to Dale, who nodded. Ava frowned.

Glenn stood and came to the edge of the group.

"Um, guys." He said, his voice quivering with nerves. "So... The barn is full of walkers."

Ava's frown became an open-mouthed stare. Andrea's knife stopped scraping and everyone looked up at him. Ava glanced at Rick, his expression shifted from surprise to muted anger. They all went down to the barn to confirm this, Glenn close to her side. Her leg was feeling better than it had yesterday and though she hobbled everywhere, she could get around. By the time they reached the others, Shane was storming away from the doors.

"You cannot tell me you're all right with this." He growled.

"No I'm not, but we're guests here." Rick said. "This isn't our land."

"This is our lives!"

"Lower your voice." Glenn said, looking anxiously at the doors.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug." Andrea argued.

"It ain't right." Shane said. "Not remotely. Okay, we've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or we've just got to go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time."

Avas' blood went cold at the mention of the camp. She'd hoped everyone would put it from their minds now that they had the farm, whether Hershel was making them leave or not.

"We can't go." Rick growled.

"Why, Rick? Why?"

"Because my daughter is still out there." Carol said, glaring at Shane. Ava squeezed her shoulder and she reached up, squeezing back.

"Okay." Shane rubbed his face. "Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility."

Ava couldn't say she was surprised by his turn and shook her head at him.

"We're not leaving Sophia behind." Rick said firmly.

"I'm close to finding this girl." Daryl argued. "I just found Ava and her damn doll a few days ago."

"You found her doll, Daryl, and a woman who should be dead. That's what you did."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about." Daryl growled, pushing forward. Rick held his arm out to stop Daryl attacking, though he looked murderous with rage himself.

"I'm just saying what needs to be said." Shane yelled, ignoring Rick as he tried to calm him. "You get a good lead, it's in the first 48 hours."

"Shane, stop."

"Let me tell you something else, man." Shane turned to Daryl. "If she was alive out there and saw you coming all methed out with your buck knife, she would run in the other direction!"

Daryl charged at him, Shane ready for the fight. Rick tried to keep them apart and soon they all had to jump in, separating the two. Ava bit her lip as someone kneed her in the thigh, her leg quivering with the pain.

"Back off!" Rick said, pushing Shane away from the others.

"Keep your hands off me." Shane said with a tone she hadn't heard from him before, one dangerous and cruel. It sent a shiver down her spine. Glenn touched her arm.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine." Ava said, straightening. She nodded at Rick when she noticed he was watching them, a question of concern in his eyes. He turned back to Shane.

"Now just let me talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out."

Shane turned, screaming.

"What are you gonna figure out?!"

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land."

"Hershel sees those things in there as people." Dale said, stepping forward. "Sick people... His wife, his stepson."

"You knew?" Rick said.

"Yesterday I talked to Hershel."

"And you waited the night?" Shane snapped.

"I thought we could survive one more night. We did. I was waiting till this morning to say something. But Glenn wanted to be the one."

"The man is crazy, Rick, if Hershel thinks those things are alive or no." Shane ignored Rick as he tried to calm him again, but they all fell silent as the barn doors began to rattle, growls and snarls echoing out. The sudden movement wafted the scent of decay towards them and Ava's stomach flipped. She pressed a hand to her mouth.

"I'm gonna-"

Ava didn't get to finish the sentence before narrowly avoiding throwing up on Glenn. He grabbed her shoulders so she wouldn't fall and rubbed her back.

"Ava?"

She nodded at Glenn, wiping her mouth and turning to the rest of the group, who stared at her. Ava shrugged.

"Guess my stomachs still a little sensitive."

Rick sighed.

"Glenn, take her back to the house. Maybe Hershel will know what to do."

She scowled.

"I'm fine, Rick. I don't need to be nannied."

He frowned at her biting tone and she shook her head, sighing.

"Sorry. I think I need to go lie down for a bit."

Glenn took Ava's arm, having designated himself her primary crutch, and started leading her back up to camp. Her stomach continued to buck and roil. Ava swallowed thickly.


	41. Pretty much dead already: Part 2

S2E7P2

Ava rested for a while in camp, but eventually grew bored and hobbled back inside. She winked at Glenn from his post on top the RV and he rolled his eyes, clearly torn between guard duty and crutch duty. Ava made her way back into the house and sat in an armchair, sighing.

Hershel came in not long after and stopped when he saw her.

"I don't remember inviting you in."

"Oh, sorry. My back was really hurting. I needed the cushions."

He nodded.

"You bruised yourself pretty badly in the fall." He said, sitting down at the kitchen table and pulling out a book. He sat down to eat in silence and Ava left him to it, enjoying the quiet.

It didn't last long though. There came a knock at the door and Hershel called for them to enter. Ava looked up when the person came into view and shifted upright when she saw it was Rick.

"A little light reading for lunch?" Rick said. He hadn't noticed she was there and stood with his back to her.

"Been working so hard lately I get my studying where I can."

"You know we can help you out with your work." Rick suggested.

"It's my field to tend." Hershel said immediately, shutting him down. There was a pause.

"We found the barn."

"Leave it be." Hershel said, still not looking up from his book.

"Well, I'd like to talk about it, but either way... your barn, your farm, your say."

"I don't want to talk about the barn. I don't want to debate."

"Not a debate, a discussion." Rick said. Hershel took a mouthful, chewed it thoroughly and looked up at Rick.

"I need you and your group gone by the end of the week."

Rick looked down.

"I talked to Dale." He said. "You and I have our differences with the way we look at the walkers. Those people, they may be dead, they may be alive. But my people, us, we are alive right now, right here, right in front of you. You send us out there and that could change."

"I've given you safe harbour." Hershel said, his attention briefly flickering to Ava. "My conscience is clear."

Rick pulled out the chair he was leaning on and sat in it.

"This farm is special. You've been shielded from what's been going on out there. Dale said you saw everything happen on the news. Well, it's been a long time since the cameras stopped rolling."

Hershel picked up his lunch and stormed out of the room, quickly followed by Rick. Ava hesitated before standing and following.

"The first time I saw a walker it was just half a body snapping at me from the ground. My inclination wasn't to kill it. But what the world is out there isn't what you saw on TV. It is much, much worse and it changes you. Either into one of them or something a lot less than the person you were. Please do not... do not send us out there again."

"He's right, Hershel." Ava said, leaning in the doorway. Rick spun around, surprised to see her. "And it's not just the walkers we need to be afraid of anymore. First weeks of this thing I was with my family but some men – soldiers, people we used to trust with our lives – they kidnapped me."

Hershel sighed, looking out of the window. She turned to Rick and he nodded.

"If we were to stay we could help you with the work, with securing this place." He said. "We can survive together."

"Rick, I'm telling you we can't." Hershel said.

"You think about what you're doing."

"I've thought about it."

"Think about it."

"I've thought about it." Hershel yelled and Ava sucked in a breath, knowing this man did not lose his temper easily.

"Think about it again. We can't go out there."

Rick turned away from Hershel, taking her arm when she offered it and helping her back to the front door. He sighed as soon as they were outside and pinched the bridge of his nose, leaning on the railing. Ava patted him on the back.

"Hershels' a good man. He'll come around."

"But what if he doesn't?" Rick said, looking up at her. Ava pursed her lips and brushed some hair from her face.

"Then you'll think of something." She turned and smiled at him. "I trust you."

He smiled back, nodding. Ava bit her lip.

"Rick, I don't know if I should mention this but…last night…"

He shook his head and sighed again.

"I don't know, Ava. I really don't. I can safely say I want nothing to do with Lori now. She asked for a second chance, she blew it. Now I don't know what to do. We can't exactly get divorced. And what about Carl? It's just…" He dropped his head into his hands. "It's just such a mess."

They stood in silence for a while as she considered what he said. It was a tricky situation, one Ava felt stuck in the middle of.

"I can't imagine how hard this is for you Rick, and I can't pretend to know all the answers. But couples separated a lot before the world went to hell. Their kids did okay."

He nodded his thanks and stood straight, touching her arm as he moved past.

"I'd better go talk to Shane." He said, heading off towards the barn. Ava considered following, but thought it better to leave him be for a while. She bent her leg, stretching the muscle gently and deciding after all that sitting that she needed to move. There was no one around, so she descended the porch steps stiltedly and decided to circle the house so she wasn't pushing things too far.

Ava got round the back and stopped, looking out over the view of the fields and trees. From behind there was nothing man-made to spoil the view and she leaned against the back of the house, folding her arms and enjoying the view. After a few minutes she lifted her injured leg, resting her heel on a piece of the foundations so it wouldn't have too much weight on it, and frowned when she felt something move.

Ava turned, peering at the foundation block and spotting a white paper bag wedged underneath the house. It was too clean to have been there for a long time and, curious, she awkwardly reached in and pulled it out.

When she opened the bag and pulled out what was inside, her eyes went as wide as saucers. She pulled the cardboard box out and looked inside it, releasing a sigh of relief as she did before quickly hiding it back under the house. She didn't know why it was there but it was better to leave it be.

Ava finished her round of the house and spotted Rick and Andrea by the truck, mapping out places to search for Sophia again. Hershel was heading towards them. She leaned against the porch and smiled as she watched him, then shook her head when she realised what she was doing. Ava turned to sit on the porch steps and froze.

Her eyes went wide, maybe even wider than when she saw what was in that bag, and her stomach flipped and roiled. She tried not to think about it, letting herself sink onto the step. Her hands were shaking and she looked up again at Rick who moved off towards the trees with Hershel and swallowed.

"You okay?"

Ava jumped and looked up at Maggie, who had come out from the house. She frowned at her.

"I'm fine." Ava said, though the cracking of her voice wasn't entirely convincing.

Maggie smiled and offered her a hand.

"Come on. I could use a hand with the chores."


	42. Pretty much dead already: Part 3

_Authors note: Sorry I missed an update yesterday. I spent the day packing, then on a train, then having some time with my family. I'm back from Uni for Christmas now so will have plenty of time for updates :). To make up for missing yesterday, I'm posting two chapters today. Enjoy!_

* * *

S2E7P3

After helping Maggie with the supplies, Ava returned to camp and tried not to smile too widely when she saw Glenn and Maggie kiss. Eventually they gathered around the porch and Ava helped Patricia and Beth teach Carl how to play checkers, turning grins towards Maggie and Glenn every so often.

"You look like you should be in line for the early bird special." Maggie said, gesturing to Dale's hat on Glenn. She pulled it off. "Go get your cap. I'll wash it for you, okay?"

"Do you know what's going on?" T-Dog said, heading over to them. Ava frowned.

"Where is everyone?" Andrea said.

"You haven't seen Rick?" Ava said, standing and making her way down from the porch.

"He went off with Hershel. We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago."

"Yeah you were." Daryl said, coming over with Carol. "What the hell?"

"Rick told us he was going out." Carol said.

"Damn it. Isn't anybody taking this seriously?" Daryl groaned, looking accusingly at them. "We got us a damn trail."

"Daryl, I'd be out there if I thought I'd do any good as opposed to becoming another liability." Ava said, shrugging. He waved her off, his attention dragged away by Shane. "Oh, here we go."

Ava frowned, wondering why Shane had the bag of guns.

"What's all this?" Daryl said, frowning.

"You with me, man?" Shane handed him a shotgun.

"Yeah."

"Time to grow up." Then to Andrea. "You already got yours?"

"Yeah. Where's Dale?"

"He's on his way."

"Thought we couldn't carry." T-Dog said, watching him carefully. Ava scowled and her hand instinctively went to her dagger.

"We can and we have to." Patricia and the others gathered at the top of the porch steps.

"Shane, what the hell are you doing?" Ava said, but he ignored her.

"Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe. But now we know it ain't. How about you, man? You gonna protect yours?" Glenn looked between Maggie and the shot gun, sighed and took the gun.

"That's it." Shane turned to Maggie. "Can you shoot?"

"Can you stop? You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight."

"We have to stay, Shane." Carl said.

"What is this?" Lori said, coming out on the porch. Shane knelt down and dug out a handgun, throwing it at Ava. She barely caught it.

"We ain't going anywhere, okay? Now look, Hershel, he's just gotta understand. Okay? He... Well, he's gonna have to. Now we need to find Sophia. Am I right? Huh?" Shane said, kneeling down before Carl and holding out a revolver to him. "Now I want you to take this."

"Shane." Ava said, again going unnoticed.

"You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes. You know how. Go on, take the gun and do it."

Lori, catching up with the situation, pushed Carl behind her and glared at Shane.

"Rick said no guns." She said.

"You really lecturing me about what Rick wants? I think that ship has sailed, Lori."

She stared at him in shock.

"Oh shit." T-Dog said, and they all turned to see Hershel, Jimmy and Rick wrestling walkers out of the forest.

"What is that?" Shane said, hurtling off towards them. Everyone else followed and Ava groaned, trying to keep up and wincing all the way.

Rick looked over and saw them coming, struggling with the walker he held on the end of a pole. The group barrelled through the gate.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shane yelled.

"Shane, just back off." Rick growled.

"Why do your people have guns?" Hershel said.

"Are you kidding me?" Shane continued to shout and Ava knew there was nothing to be done to stop him now, not with Rick focused on the walker. "You see? You see what they're holding onto?"

"I see who I'm holding onto." Hershel yelled.

"No, man, you don't."

"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk." Rick said.

"What you want to talk about, Rick? These things ain't sick. They're not people. They're dead. Ain't gonna feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis. They're gonna kill all of us."

"Shane, shut up!" Rick yelled, frantically trying to sort the situation before everything went to hell. Ava grabbed her head and shifted on the spot, trying not to stand on her injured leg. It burned after the run down.

"Hey, Hershel man, let me ask you something. Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?"

Shane drew his gun and shot the walker Hershel was holding several times. Ava jumped back, suddenly overwhelmed by the stench of the dead leaking from its body. Her stomach threatened to urge.

"No!" Rick shouted. "Stop it!"

But Shane would not be deterred. He looked insane.

"That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?! Why is it still coming?"

Shane shot again.

"That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?"

More gunshots. Ava shook with everyone else.

"Shane, enough." Rick said.

"Yeah, you're right, man. That is enough."

Shane shot the walker in the head and Hershel knelt down beside the body. Ava plastered her hands over her face, trying to block out the smell.

"Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!"

Carol gasped, close to tears at the back of the group.

"Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us. Enough. Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now."

Shane raced towards the barn.

"Take the snare pole." Rick yelled. "Hershel, take the snare pole. Hershel, listen to me, man, please. Take it now. Hershel! Take it!"

But Hershel was blank and did nothing. Ava went to help Rick but her leg seized and she almost fell over just moving. T-Dog grabbed her arm. Shane took a pickaxe and smashed at the locks on the barn.

"No, Shane. Do not do this, brother. Wait!" Rick screamed. Shane destroyed the padlock.

"Don't do it!" Glenn yelled.

"Stop!" Ava added, eyes wide with fear and adrenaline.

"Please!"

Shane broke the chains and pulled away the plank of wood keeping the barn looked up and Ava's hands quivered. She looked over at Maggie and Hershel, tears in her eyes as Glenn looked between the barn and Maggie.

"Come on. Come on, we're out here." Shane said, banging on the doors.

"This is not the way! Please!" Rick tried again.

Everyone stood in position, Shane at the head, as the doors creaked open.

The walkers piled out one after the other and everyone shot, taking down the hoard. Ava stumbled towards the back of the group, her hands shaking. Shane turned to Rick and shot the walker he was holding. Rick didn't even look, dropping the pole and staring at his friend. Could they even still be called that?

When it was over, Ava's whole body was shaking and she could hear nothing but the ringing of gunshots. She fought down the urge to retch, the sickness so overwhelming that she staggered. There was only silence and sobbing.

For a moment everything was still and Shane and Rick glared at one another. Dale turned up at Ava's side, making her realise just how far she had staggered away. He grabbed her arm and she clung to him, weak at the knees. He stared in shock at the scene.

There was the sound of growling coming from the barn, one more walker left. It pushed through the doors and stood there for a moment. Any strength Ava'd been holding onto left her body and only Dale kept her from falling.

The final walker was Sophia.

Carol ran towards her daughter, sobbing her name, but Daryl grabbed her around the waist and hugged her on the ground while she cried. The little girl stumbled over the bodies, tripping on limbs and over the rest of the dead. Everyone just stared at the poor girl. Even Shane had nothing to say or do. Of course he did nothing. He wasn't strong enough to take that. Only one person was. Rick stepped forward to deal with the situation. He drew his python and walked straight up to the little girl, holding the barrel to her forehead. Just as she got close, he pulled the trigger.

With the sound of the gunshot, Ava lost all control and everything went black.


	43. Pretty much dead already: Part 4

S2E7P4

When Ava woke up, everything was black. The only light was the fire in the middle of camp. Had she really slept for that long? Ava shifted, groaning as she sat up and turned to the fire. Rick was sat beside it, staring into the flames, and Ava remembered everything.

She went over to him, rubbing her stomach as she sat by his side.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"It wasn't your fault, Rick. If it's anyone's then its mine. I should have protected her better."

Rick turned to Ava, frowning.

"Better than with your own life? You nearly died for her. There was nothing more you could have done."

He sighed.

"I don't know what to do now."

Neither did Ava. Rick turned back to the fire, his expression blank. He didn't want to talk, not really. He needed to think and there was something else she desperately needed to do. Ava stood, moving behind him and hesitating. She then leaned down and wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin and his shoulder. He grabbed her arms, his thumbs rubbing circles into her skin.

"You'll think of something Rick. You always do."

Ava pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and pulled away, leaving him there and heading around to the back of the house. It was too dark to see anything, but Ava felt along the base of the house, feeling for the concrete slab and the paper bag.

Her hand found paper, crinkling in the almost total silence, and she followed her fingers as they reached in for the cardboard box and opened it. First she touched the smooth plastic of the used test, the negative one. Then she felt the crinkle of the plastic wrapping on the unused test. She swallowed, her stomach doing flips as she pulled it free and ripped open the plastic.

When she'd first seen the test, she'd just been relieved that whoever had used it hadn't ended up pregnant. It would have been such a strain on whoever it was and a problem for the group. The relief had blinded her until she'd returned to the porch. Then it had occurred to her that there was every possibility she was pregnant.

Sure, she'd been malnourished and suffering from an infection which could explain the lack of a period, but she couldn't ignore the fact that she had also slept with Rick – and she hadn't seen any sign of protection being used.

Ava unbuttoned her trousers and squatted, pressing her lips together as she took the test. If she was pregnant…

She didn't want to think about it. As if things couldn't get any more complicated.

When she was done she put the lid back on, tucked the test into her back pocket and stood. After redressing, she moved to the edge of the house and looked out to the camp. The fire still glowed, but Rick was gone – a thought that brought both pain and relief. Relief that she could be alone to find this out and pain because she needed to speak with him, not just about them, but about everything. Sophia was gone and he would be blaming himself hard.

Ava swallowed, walking as quietly as she could to the fire before taking the seat Rick had vacated. She didn't know how long it had been, but she doubted the test was done yet. Or was she putting it off? Probably both.

She thought of Sophia and how afraid she must have been, of Carol and how devastated she must be.

A tear fell down her cheek and she wiped it away, finally deciding enough was enough. She reached back and pulled the test free.

Ava stared down at the test, unblinking for as long as she could stand it. Then she nodded and tucked the test away, biting her lip before immediately bursting into tears. Ava dropped her head into her hands, curling into herself as she sobbed her heart out, alone in the world.

Well. Not entirely.


	44. Nebraska: Part 1

S2E8P1

The next day was bleak. The whole group moved as if the air was thick and heavy, dragged down by grief and regret. Ava drifted through it all, unable to figure out her own feelings, wrestling with having failed Sophia and with the fact the she was…

She didn't even want to think about it. A child? A baby in this? She'd failed Sophia, wouldn't she fail her own baby?

She shook her head, unsure whether the sickness in her stomach was the grief, the confusion or the morning sickness.

To take her mind off of things – and to feel less useless – Ava went with Andrea back down to the barn. It was perhaps not the best idea, her stomach doing somersaults the whole time.

"Are you sure about this? You don't have to come down here." Andrea said, seeing the nausea in her face.

"I owe Sophia this at least and…" Ava swallowed, rubbing her throat to try and alleviate the urge to retch. "And I have to say I'm sorry."

Andrea pressed her lips together but didn't argue. They walked down in silence, arms bundled with blankets, and began covering the corpses.

"That was Hershel's wife." Andrea said, looking to the corpse Ava was covering. "She didn't die with the rest. Beth was crying and went to her side…the walker almost got her."

Ava sighed.

"Christ. I knew Shane was volatile, but I didn't think he'd do something like this."

"He thought he was protecting the group."

"I'm sure he did. Thing with Shane is that he thinks everything from his perspective is right. Everyone else is making the wrong decision. Surely he must have considered Hershel would want us gone after this."

"You think Hershel's going to make us leave?"

Ava looked up, glancing briefly at the final walker: Sophia.

"From his perspective, we just murdered a lot of sick people – including his wife and step-son. Wouldn't you want us gone?"

Andrea said nothing and we both moved to Sophia's side. Ironically, she looked less dead than she had when she came out of the barn. It was the facial expression. As a walker she snarled like a beast. Now she just looked asleep. Ava brushed a hair from her face and tried not to think of her own child. Andrea pulled the blanket up.

"I'm sorry, Sophia. I should have fought harder." Ava said, blinking back tears. Andrea helped her up. Lori and Carl were sat nearby, Dale making sure the walkers were all gone.

"I thought I'd find her." Carl said.

"We all did." Lori murmured.

"I mean, me... That I'd be the one."Carl looked down. "Like maybe she was hiding somewhere in a cave or a tree. She'd be safe and I'd find her and bring her back."

Lori stared at Carl and so did Ava, swallowing hard. She couldn't begin to wonder what the poor boy was going through but he was taking it so well. Like a grown up. A grown up he shouldn't have to be. Lori looked around as Shane marched towards them

"He did the right thing," Carl said, nodding to himself. "Shooting her like that. I would've done it, too."

Ava nodded to herself. He was far too grown up for his age, but maybe that would be best for him, in this world. She nudged a walker at her feet but it didn't move and looked up to see Rick heading towards them as well. Her stomach plummeted.

It was the first time she'd seen Rick since finding out she was pregnant and there was only one person who could be the father. What did she tell him? How could she tell him? She rubbed her temples. The whole situation was giving her a migraine.

"Dale?" Lori said.

"Yeah?"

"Could you take Carl up to the house?" Then to Carl she said. "I want you to rest."

"Okay." The boy said, standing and turning towards to the house with Dale. Ava smiled at him when he caught her eye and he returned it sadly. Rick reached them as Carl turned to leave.

"Hey," He said, planting his hat on Carls' head. "You dropped that."

Ava hadn't had much chance to ask Rick why he stopped wearing his uniform. Part of her wondered if it was something that shouldn't be asked, just accepted. They'd all had things to cling onto that reminded them of the past. Riley was always careful in making sure she had a phone at first, even if it was dead and useless. The longer you live in this world, the more you realise there's no point in clinging to the materials of the past – especially when they were of no use in surviving.

Lori stood as Rick walked past her, staring at the array of bodies in shock.

"You want us to start burying?" T-Dog said, and Rick looked up at the group for the first time, catching Ava's eye. She fought the urge to look away, afraid he'd see the truth in her eyes, and instead smiled, trying to offer reassurance.

"We need a service." Andrea said. "Carol would want that."

"Yeah, we all want that." T-Dog said.

"We should bury them." Ava said, looking from Sophia's body to the others.

"Don't have the time to be burying all these corpses." Shane said, shaking his head. Ava glared at him.

"We wouldn't have corpses to bury if you'd left well enough alone."

Shane looked ready to fire back but Rick held his hand up.

"That's enough." He said. Ava shook her head.

"Sorry. But we should at least bury Sophia and Hershel's wife and stepson. Maybe over there." Ava pointed to an array of trees nearby, a pleasant peaceful place to be laid to rest."

"We'll need a truck to move the bodies." Lori said.

"I'll get the keys." Jimmy said, but as he moved off Shane put a hand out in front of him.

"No, no. I got the truck."

"And the others?"

"We bury the ones we love and burn the rest." Andrea said. They all nodded to that.

"Let's get to work." Lori said and they all moved off to start clearing the bodies. Lori took Rick aside.

"What did Hershel say?"

"He wants us off the farm, or Shane at least." Rick said and Ava sighed. She'd expected as much. She leaned down to recover a body the wind had uncovered and retched at the smell, spinning around and pressing the back of her hand to her mouth.

"Ava?"

"I'm fine."

But Rick was already moving towards her, offering her a hand and helping her up.

"You don't need to be here. You've done enough." He said.

"I've done nothing, Rick. Nothing but get in the way and fail."

"That's not true." Rick said, resolutely. "Don't you dare put this on yourself. There is nothing you could have done."

"Aren't you doing the same thing? I can see it in your eyes. You're blaming yourself as much as I am."

He swallowed and looked away, towards the bodies. Ava wanted to touch him to offer comfort, but she was very aware of Lori standing behind them.

"I'll stop blaming myself if you do the same, Rick." She said, quirking a brow at him when he turned to her. Eventually he nodded.

"Good." She said, nodding. She wobbled slightly as pain sliced through her leg and Rick grabbed her arm to steady her. "I'm alright. I think I've pushed it too far with all the crouching."

"Go. Rest." He said, nodding her off towards the farm and with a final look at Sophia, Ava obliged and Rick turned to Lori. She felt her glare on her back as she moved away.

As Ava returned to the farm, she heard Shane and turned to see Dale staring at him. Shane was in the truck, looking pissed. Dale looked furious. Ave had never seen him with that look on his face.

"Do you got something to say, Dale?" Shane had said. Then: "Well, go ahead, man. Mr. Moral Authority, huh? The voice of reason."

Dale said, nothing simply staring at him. After a few more moments of silence, Shane punched the roof of the truck, making Ava jump, and stormed towards Dale.

"Let me ask you something, man. What do you do? What do you do to keep this camp safe, huh? What do you do? What, you fix up an R.V.? You babysit some guns?" Shane stopped a few metres in front of Dale, staring at him with loathing. Ava stared in shock. "Man, you pointed one at my chest, right? But you just... you couldn't pull that trigger, could you?"

Dale shifted and Ava's jaw dropped. Just how much had she missed in that gorge?

"If I was such a danger, if I was such a threat, what did you do to stop me, huh? I smashed up on there, I saved Carl. That's me. That ain't you. That ain't Rick. That's me."

Ava all but rolled her eyes, gritting her teeth as Shane's self-righteous ego came out again, coupled with an insanity she was beginning to fear. He turned away from Dale, storming towards the truck.

"Tell you what, Dale... Next time I need a radiator hose... I'll give you a call, man."

Shane slammed the door and drove off. Ava looked up, catching eyes with Dale, both fearful and concerned. She swallowed and headed back towards the house, smirking bitterly at how much of an eavesdropper she was becoming. She thought to go into the house, then stopped, figuring she would not be welcomed, and sat on the porch steps.

Once again, Ava was useless to help, just like those relics of the past. In desperation and at a loss, she bowed her head and cried.


	45. Nebraska: Part 2

S2E8P2

After a while, Ava's butt went numb on those steps and she pushed away, moving towards the RV where she knew Carol would be. She hesitated in the doorway, but stepped in when Daryl turned to look at her. He nodded once and Ava smiled weakly. Carol stared out of the window.

Ava didn't know what to say. What could she say to a mother who had lost her child? After a few seconds standing in silence, Ava slid into the seat opposite her and took her hand, joining her in looking out of the window. Carol squeezed her hand hard.

A while later, Lori came to the door, her jaw clenching when she saw Ava but softening as she turned to Carol.

"They're ready." She said, but Carol didn't move. "Come on."

"Why?"

"'Cause that's your little girl." Daryl said, frowning.

"That's not my little girl." Carol said, looking down. "That's some other thing. My Sophia was alone in the woods. All this time I thought... She didn't cry herself to sleep. She didn't go hungry. She didn't try to find her way back. Sophia died a long time ago."

"It might help." Ava said. "To say goodbye."

But Carol shook her head. Lori moved away and Daryl looked at Carol in disbelief, almost angry that she wouldn't come.

"You coming?" He asked Ava and she turned to Carol, who let go of her hand as if to say it was alright. She felt terrible leaving Carol alone, but she didn't want to miss the funeral. She and Daryl exited the RV together and headed down.

They all stood by the trees, looking on the graves of loved ones. No one spoke and eventually, everyone moved off in opposite directions. Ava went back down to the barn with the others, offering to drive the truck since that at least was something she could do well. She sat in the drivers seat as Andrea and T-Dog loaded up the back.

"A few more trips." She heard Rick say, leaning out the door to see him walking down.

"We got lucky." Andrea panted, struggling with the body she was shifting. "If that barn had any more, we could've been overrun."

"Good thing Shane did what he did," T-Dog said.

"That's debateable." Ava muttered.

"When he did." T-Dog amended.

"You can't tell me this was right." Dale said, scoffing.

"It wasn't." Rick sighed. "It'll cost us with Hershel."

"He's grieving. He'll come around," Andrea said. "See we had no choice. Look, I shot too. This wasn't all Shane."

"But he started it. And like I said earlier, Hershel thought they were just sick people that we've murdered in cold blood." Ava said, shrugging when Andrea gave her a frustrated look.

"Look, I got no qualms about it. Walkers in my backyard?" T-Dog shook his head.

"I'm not saying that we shouldn't have taken care of the problem, but creating a panic?!" Dale said, his voice growing louder in anger.

"There's no point arguing about it. It's done." Lori said. Ava hadn't noticed she was even there and gritted her teeth. Getting the cold shoulder she could accept, but all these judgemental looks were really getting on her nerves – especially with everything Lori had done. "There's nothing we can do about it."

"Better get moving." T-Dog said, jumping into the passenger seat. Rick nodded to Ava as she pulled her legs into the truck and started the engine, waiting as Andrea got on the back. When she hit the truck, Ava started moving.

"Hey! Hey!" Andrea called after a few metres and Ava stopped, looking in the mirrors and watching as Andrea ran to grab and arm that had fallen off. Ava couldn't help it. She retched loudly and pressed a hand to her mouth.

"You alright?" T-Dog asked, looking at her. She was really getting tired of people asking that.

"Fine."

"Alright!" Andrea called, back on the truck and Ava started it up once more and they headed off. She wondered how long this sickness would last. Hailey's morning sickness had lasted months. Someone was bound to get suspicious after all that time.

What was she thinking? She couldn't hide this or make it go away. That's not how pregnancy worked. She'd have to tell Rick at least, and soon.

After returning from the burning, Ava found out that Beth had gone into a catatonic state of sorts, a state of shock. She joined the others in the house and found Rick, Lori and Shane in Hershel's bedroom. There were boxes everywhere, filled to the brim with ladies things.

"Your stepmother's things?" Shane said, looking at some of them.

"He was so sure she'd recover." Maggie said. "They'd just pick up where they left off."

Ava moved forward and touched a satin dress in one of the boxes. Pretty.

"Christ." She muttered, rubbing her head as she imagined the grief Hershel was going through.

"Looks like he found an old friend." Shane said. They all turned to see a flask in his hand. He chucked it to Rick.

"That belonged to my grandfather, gave it to dad when he died."

"I didn't take Hershel for a drinker." Rick said, handing the flask to Maggie who frowned.

"No, he gave it up on the day I was born. He didn't even allow liquor in the house."

"What's the bar in town?" Rick asked.

"Hatlin's." Maggie said, leaning against the dresser. "He practically lived there in his drinking days."

"Betting that's where I'll find him." Rick said.

"Yeah, I've seen the place." Glenn said, stepping forward. "I'll take you."

"Alright, I'll get the truck." Rick said, heading out of the room, but Maggie stopped him.

"No, no." She said, grabbing Glenns' arm.

"It's an easy run." He argued.

"Hey, Maggie?" Rick said, touching her arm briefly. "I'll bring him back."

"I'm going with you." Ava said, following him from the room.

"Hey, no. You're only just back on your feet."

"I'm fine. Besides, this is an easy run."

He sighed, watching Ava cock a defiant brow and chuckled.

"Alright, since there's no stopping you."

"There isn't."

"Rick?" Lori said, interrupting them with stony look on her face. "You want to have a conversation about this before you leave?"

She crossed her arms and Ava sighed, taking a step back and leaning against the wall.

"So you're seriously gonna go after this guy with everything that's going on, huh? What you gonna do?" Shane said. Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and Ava fought a bitter smirk as she realised this was the first time the couple had had a conversation with their adulterous partners there. Ava knew it was wrong, but this whole conversation was basically their life.

"He's right." Lori said, nodding to Shane. "This is not the time to head off, not today. You don't always have to-"

"I'm not arguing." Rick said sternly. "It's the least I can do for Hershel after we-"

"What?" Shane said, sidling forward. "After we what?"

"After we murdered his family in cold blood." Ava said.

"Oh, why don't you piss off back to England." Shane growled. Ava chuckled, shaking her head.

"Sure. I'll just pop to the airport and book a flight."

Shane pushed between Rick and Lori and Rick grabbed his arm as he glared at Ava. He shook him off and pushed on past.

"Carl said he would've shot Sophia himself. That's your son. He's getting cold. He's growing up in a world with..." Lori trailed off. Ava shook her head and left them too it, heading out of the house and into the camp. Maybe Carl was growing cold. Or maybe he was just getting used to the way the world works now. It's horrible and bitter, but it's true.

Ava spotted the boy by the fire and headed over to him, smiling when he looked up.

"Hey, Carl."

"Hey, Ava. Is Beth okay?"

Ava smiled and sat beside him.

"She will be. She just needs her dad."

"Where is he?" Carl said, frowning and pushing the brim of his hat up. Ava smirked and pushed it down again. He giggled, protesting.

"We think Hershel's gone off of the farm, but we're going to go and get him."

"We?"

Ava swallowed, certain she'd probably piss Lori off with this but decided she didn't care.

"Me, Glenn and your dad. Glenn says it's an easy run, so we'll be back in no time."

Carl nodded, a slight pout of his lips the only indicator that he was concerned. A few moments later Rick came out and smiled at them. Ava smiled back and patted Carl on the back before joining him by the truck.

"So," Ava said, nudging him with her arm. "You think something's going on between Glenn and Maggie?"

Rick snorted.

"Yes. Kinda obvious, don't you think?"

Ava smirked.

"Good. I'm glad he has someone. He's such a sweet guy, he deserves it."

"Yeah." Rick nodded, and Ava turned away from the house and found Rick staring at her. Her heart warmed, but the moment was ruined by her remembering the big secret between them, causing her to look away.

Luckily, the moment coincided with Maggie and Glenn coming out of the house. They kissed at the bottom of the porch stairs.

"Oh yeah. I'd say they're together." Ava said before getting into the car. Glenn got in the back seat and Rick in the drivers. As the engine started, Maggie stormed off of the porch and into the house.

"You're going to have to give me details on that later." Ava said, cocking a brow at Glenn. He blushed and they headed away from the Greene Farm.


	46. Nebraska: Part 3

S2E8P3

A little while down the road, Glenn spoke up.

"Maggie said she loves me."

Rick and Ava exchanged a look, then glanced at Glenn.

"She doesn't mean it. I mean she can't. I mean... well... She... she's upset or confused. She's probably feeling, like-"

"I think she's smart enough to know what she's feeling." Rick said, smirking at Glenn.

"Yeah." Ava agreed. "I mean why wouldn't she? You're a great guy."

"No. No. No, you know what? She wants to be in love, so she's... she needs something to... to, like... to hold onto-"

"Glenn, it's pretty obvious to everyone Maggie loves you, and not just because you're one of the last men standing." Rick interrupted. "So what's the problem?"

"I didn't say it back." He said, swallowing and looking glum. "I've never had a woman say that to me before except my mom, of course, and my sisters. But with Maggie, it's different. We barely know each other. What... what does she really know about me? Nothing. We're practically strangers. But I... I didn't know what to do with it. I just stood there like a jerk."

"Hey." Rick said. "Hey, this is a good thing, something we don't get enough of these days." Rick cast Ava a sideways glance and she smiled. "Enjoy it. And when we get back, return the favour. It's not like she's going anywhere."

They reached the bar and Rick parked outside, drawing his gun as they exited the vehicle. Ava drew her knife, just to be on the safe side, and winced at the stiffness in her leg.

"Wow." Ava said, looking around. "I haven't seen a city this deserted. Where do you think all the walkers are?"

"Maybe lots of them survived and fled?" Glenn said.

"I'd say this is more of a town than a city." Rick added as he looked around. Ava rolled her eyes.

"Alright, but let me just say: towns and cities are sometimes pretty much the same thing in England."

"Really?" Rick said, frowning at her. She moved to join him on the steps to the bar.

"Really, really. I grew up in a town, moved to a city for University and found it was half the size of my hometown."

Rick chuckled.

"Sounds weird."

Ava elbowed him in the side, fighting back a smile as the three of them headed into the bar.

The doors creaked loudly as they entered. It was an old style bar with dark wood furniture and a piano straight from a western saloon against the wall. The large windows offered enough light to see by and Hersel sat at the bar, his back to them.

"Hershel?" Rick said.

"Who's with you?"

"Ava and Glenn."

"Maggie sent him?"

"He volunteered." Rick said, heading towards Hershel. "He's good like that."

Rick came to his side at the dusty bar as Hershel downed a drink. Ava and Glenn hung back, Ava turning occasionally to keep an eye on the doors and the road.

"How many have you had?" Rick asked.

"Not enough." He said, looking into the cup. Rick leaned closer.

"Let's finish this up back at home. Beth collapsed, is in some sort of state. Must be in shock. I think you are too."

Hershel turned to Rick at the mention of his daughter.

"Maggie's with her?"

"Yeah, but Beth needs you." Rick pressed.

"What could I do? She needs her mother."

"She needs her father as well, Hershel." Ava said, moving to his other side. He glanced up at her briefly.

"She needs to mourn like she should've done weeks ago. I robbed her of that. I see that now."

"You thought there was a cure." Rick said.

"We all thought there was a cure at first." Ava added. "It's normal – human, even – to hope things will sort themselves out. We just gave up on the idea of a cure because we were out in the thick of it. And we only completely gave up at the CDC."

Rick shared a look with Ava, the two remembering those few hours and everything that happened in the span of them. It made her think of Hailey, Luke and Riley. Her heart twinged as she realised with everything that was going on, any thought of finding them had been pushed to the sidelines.

"Can't blame yourself for holding out for hope." Rick said.

"Hope? When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms, I had little hope he would survive." Hershel said.

"But he did."

"He did." Hershel nodded. "Even though we lost Otis. Your man Shane made it back and we saved your boy. That was the miracle that proved to me miracles do exist. Only it was a sham, a bait and switch."

Hershel stared across the bar, eyes misty with despair. Ava placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I was a fool, Rick, and you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that." He took another drink, opening the bottle and pouring yet another. Whisky. The smell of it turned Ava's stomach and she moved away from the bar, joining Glenn.

Rick eventually moved from Hershels' side and they stepped outside into the doorway to try and figure out what to do next.

"So what do we do? Just wait for him to pass out?"

Ava shrugged.

"Just go." Hershel said. They turned to him in shock. "Just go!"

"I promised Maggie I'd bring you home safe." Rick said. Hershel chuckled.

"Like you promised that little girl?"

"That's out of line." Ava snapped. Hershel didn't react or move from his seat. She turned to Rick and saw the pain in his eyes, reaching out to touch his arm. He turned to her and looked into her eyes for a moment, nodded to himself and marched towards Hershel.

"So what's your plan? Finish that bottle?" he said. "Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?"

Hershel stood, turning to face them.

"Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm. You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroy it all!" he yelled.

"The world was already in bad shape when we met." Rick said.

"And you take no responsibility! You're supposed to be their leader!"

"Well, I'm here now, aren't I?" Rick yelled back, losing his temper. Instinctively, I glanced back towards the doors but they were clear.

"Yes. Yes. Yes, you are." Hershel said, turning back to the bar. Rick followed.

"Now come on." Rick said softly. "Your girls need you now more than ever."

He tried grabbing Hershel's arm but the man shook him off.

"I didn't want to believe you. You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick. I chose not to believe that. But when Shane shot Lou in the chest and she just kept coming, that's when I knew what an ass I'd been, that Annette had been dead long ago and I was feeding a rotten corpse! That's when I knew there was no hope. And when that little girl came out of the barn, the look on your face... I knew you knew it too." Hershel swallowed, tears in his eyes. "Right? There is no hope. And you know it now, like I do. Don't you?"

Rick looked down, turning to Glenn and Ava. Ava shook her head.

"There is no hope for any of us." Hershel said, turning back to the bottle.

"That's not true." Ava said, marching to Hershel's side and grabbing the bottle from him. "You think you have no hope now? I spent weeks alone, fighting off walkers, struggling to find food and water, struggling to find my family. That, Hershel is when you feel truly hopeless."

Ava slammed the bottle onto the bar.

"I've been at the low point, lower than you are now, and do you know why I didn't give up? I met him." Ava looked up at Rick, who stared at her in shock. Hershel looked between them. "He found me and brought me to a group of wonderful people. People who survive together, who have fun together and treat each other like family. And sure, it's not always perfect but hell, what family is? They are why I have hope, Hershel. Because as long as we survive, the longer we survive, the more hope I have. For the future, for everything."

"You may have lost your wife and step-son but you still have your daughters." Rick added. "They need you. You know what the truth is? Nothing has changed. Death is death. It's always been there, whether it's from a heart attack, cancer, or a Walker. What's the difference? You didn't think it was hopeless before, did you? Now there are people back at home trying to hang on. They need us, even if it's just to give them a reason to go on, even if we don't believe it ourselves. You know what? This... this isn't about what we believe anymore. It's about them."

Hershel pursed his lips, eyes watering as he looked away from Rick. He downed the last of his drink and turned to stand. Ava felt a moment of relief at having done it, when the door behind them opened.


	47. Nebraska: Part 4

S2E8P4

Ava whirled, hand on her dagger as two men entered.

"Son of a bitch." One said, with dark hair. "They're alive."

They stared at them in shock as they came into the bar, Rick moving to Hershel's other side which was incidentally right beside Ava. Glenn sidled closer to them. After a brief moment of unease, things calmed a little and the two men sat. Glenn moved behind the bar, Hershel and Ava taking a seat at it, and Rick moved around filling drinks in an effort to remained amicable.

"I'm Dave." The dark-haired man said as Rick filled his glass. "That scrawny-looking douche bag there is Tony."

Dave pointed to his companion, who was by no means scrawny.

"Eat me, Dave."

"Hey, maybe someday I will." Dave said, nonchalantly. "We met on I-95 coming out of Philly. Damn shit-show that was."

"I'm Glenn. It's nice to meet some new people." Glenn said, smiling hesitantly at the newcomers.

"Rick Grimes." Rick said, returning the bottle to the bar. His hand brushed against Ava's arm, making her realise just how tense she was.

"How about you, pal? Have one?" Dave said, looking to Hershel.

"I just quit."

"You've got a unique sense of timing, my friend."

"His name's Hershel. He lost people today, a lot of them." Rick said. Dave's smile dropped from his face.

"I'm truly sorry to hear that." He raised his glass. "To better days and new friends. And to our dead... may they be in a better place."

They all rose a glass to that, Ava going along with it so far as to actually taste the liquor before she remembered that she couldn't. She tried to be subtle about spitting it back into the cup, but she wasn't so lucky.

"Not a fan of liquor, love?" Dave said, smirking at her.

"Not particularly." Ava said, ignoring the frown Rick sent her. Seems he remembered that this was the same stuff they'd downed that night in the basement.

"Do we get to know your name?" Dave said, leaning to put down his drink.

"Ava." She said, but Dave only nodded, having noticed Rick spotting his gun. He pulled it free, resting on the palm of his hand, the same way Rick had offered his gun to Ava when they'd first met.

"Not bad, huh? I got it off a cop."

"I'm a cop."

"This one was already dead." Dave said, smiling. He seemed to smile a lot. It put Ava on edge.

"You fellas are a long way from Philadelphia." Rick said after a few moments of silence.

"It feels like we're a long way from anywhere." Dave said.

"Well, what drove you South?"

"Well, I can tell you it wasn't the weather. I must've dropped 30 lbs in sweat alone down here." Dave said, rubbing his eyes.

"I wish." Tony muttered.

"No, first it was D.C. I heard there might be some kind of refugee camp, but the roads were so jammed, we never even got close. We decided to get off the highways, into the sticks, keep hauling ass. Every group we came across had a new rumour about a way out of this thing."

"One guy told us there was the coast guard sitting in the Gulf, sending ferries to the islands." Tony added.

"The latest was a rail yard in Montgomery running trains to the middle of the country... Kansas, Nebraska."

"Nebraska?" Glenn said, frowning.

"Low population, lots of guns." Tony said. Glenn shrugged.

"Kinda makes sense." He said, and Ava shrugged in agreement.

"Ever been to Nebraska, kid?" Dave asked Glenn. "A reason they call 'em flyover states."

He laughed at his own joke, Rick smirking as he finished his glass. Ava put hers down and slid it away so as not to tempt herself. She imagined lots of the American humour was going to go straight over her head. She didn't even know where Nebraska or Philadelphia were, though she had heard of them.

"How about you guys?" Dave asked Rick.

"Fort Benning, eventually." He said, sending Ava a look. She looked down at the dagger on her belt and Rick reached out again, taking her hand from it and holding it in his own. She said nothing, but felt her heart beat faster as they held hands like…well, like a couple. She wished she could drink that whisky.

"I hate to piss in your cornflakes, officer, but, um." Dave said, twiddling his thumbs. "We ran across a grunt who was stationed at Benning. He said the place was overrun by lamebrains."

"Wait," Glenn said. "Fort Benning is gone?"

Rick looked down and Ava squeezed his hand, feeling more than a little guilty at being relieved.

"Are you for real?" Glenn said.

"Sadly, I am." Dave said, looking genuinely sympathetic. Still, Ava felt there was something off about him. "Oddly, the truth is there is no way out of this mess. Just keep going from one pipe dream to the next, praying one of these mindless freaks doesn't grab a hold of you when you sleep."

"If you sleep." Tony added.

"Yeah, it doesn't look like you guys are hanging your hats here. You holed up somewhere else?" Dave asked. Ava tensed, the change in conversation felt to forcibly casual to actually be casual. Dave played a good act, but she wasn't fooled. She narrowed her eyes at him and Rick took a second before answering.

"Not really." He said, sensing the same thing Ava did. She squeezed his hand again.

There was a second of silence.

"Those your cars out front?"

"Yeah." Rick nodded.

"Why?" Glenn asked.

"We're living in ours. Those look kinda empty, clean. Where's all your gear?"

"We're with a larger group out scouting, thought we could use a drink." Hershel said, the old man using his slightly drunken brains and refraining from telling them too much. The mention of a larger group was a good idea, meaning we would have people come looking for us.

"A drink? Hershel, I thought you quit." Dave said, clearly suspicious.

"He quit just before you came in." Ava said, patting Hershel on the arm. "Decided one was enough, didn't want to restart old habits."

Dave stared at them a while longer, trying to suss them out. Ava was already certain that they'd be leaving as soon as the men gave them the chance.

"Well, we're thinking of setting up around here. Is it... is it safe?" He turned a hard stare onto Rick.

"It can be," Glenn said, and they all turned to look at him. Ava gave him a look and he backtracked. "Ah, well I've had killed a couple of walkers around here."

"Walkers?" Dave smirked. "That what you call them?"

"Yeah." Glenn said.

"That's good. I like that. I like that better than lamebrains." He itched his neck.

"More succinct." Tony added. Dave pointed at him with a grin.

"Okay, Tony went to college."

"Two years." Tony said.

There was another silence, filled with forced smiles. Ava knew the charade was fading. Her grip on Ricks' hand was growing sweaty, but Rick didn't let go.

"So what... so what, you guys set up on the outskirts or something? That new development? Trailer park or something?" Tony stood and moved across the bar. Ava watched him. "A farm?" Dave guessed, before singing. "Old McDonald had a farm."

Tony laughed to himself, an unnerving sound. Ava was torn between reaching for her knife and keeping a hold of Ricks' hand.

"You got a farm?" Dave asked. Rick just looked at him before turning to look at Tony, who'd moved across the bar to pee in one corner. The smell filled the room and Ava held back a gag. Even without pregnancy as an excuse, that was vile.

"Is it safe? It's gotta be. You got food, water?" Dave pressed, leaning forward.

"You got more cooze?" Tony said, glancing over his shoulder and it took Ava a moment to work out what he meant. "Ain't had a piece of ass in weeks. Wouldn't mind that one."

He nodded his head towards the bar, towards Ava, and it was only the hand in hers that stopped her from snapping back. Ricks' hand shook.

"Listen, pardon my friend. City kids... they got no tact." Dave said, rubbing his temples. "No disrespect. So listen, Glenn-"

"We've said enough." Rick said firmly.

"Well, hang on a second. This farm... it sounds pretty sweet. Don't it sound sweet, Tony?" Dave said.

"Yeah, real sweet." Tony said, moving away from the corner and sending Ava a wink. She resisted the urge to kick him in the balls.

"How about a little Southern hospitality?" Dave said. "We got some buddies back at camp, been having a real hard time. I don't see why you can't make room for a few more. We can pool our resources, our manpower."

"Look, I'm sorry. That's not an option." Rick said.

Tony looked at Dave, who looked down, biting his lip. The tension was palpable.

"Doesn't sound like it'd be a problem." Dave said.

"I'm sorry. We can't." Hershel said.

"We can't take in any more." Rick confirmed. Dave looked down, then laughed.

"You guys are something else. I thought... I thought we were friends." He looked at Rick. "We got people we gotta look out for too."

"We don't know anything about you." Rick pointed out, his body tense beside Ava.

"No, that's true." Dave said. "You don't know anything about us. You don't know what we've had to go through out there, the things we've had to do. I bet you've had to do some of those same things yourself. Am I right?" He cocked a brow at Rick. "'Cause ain't nobody's hands clean in what's left of this world. We're all the same. So come on, let's... let's take a nice friendly hayride to this farm and we'll get to know each other."

Rick looked down and shook his head.

"That's not gonna happen."

"Rick..." Dave said.

"This is bullshit." Tony said, growing angry.

"Calm down." Rick said.

"Don't tell me to calm down. Don't ever tell me to calm down." He yelled. Rick looked away.

"Whoa." Dave said.

"I'll shoot you four assholes in the head and take your damn farm!" Tony continued. Rick stood the moment he mentioned killing them and Ava drew her knife, standing at his side, heart racing.

"Whoa whoa, whoa, whoa. Relax." Dave said to Tony, trying to diffuse the situation. "Take it easy. Nobody's killing anybody." He patted Rick on the shoulder, then moved to the bar, jumping over it. Ava kept her dagger drawn and touched the handle of her handgun just in case. "Nobody's shooting anybody. Right, Rick?"

I heard the snap of something and turned to see Tony had undone the tie around his shoulder. I glared at him and turned back to Dave, who put his gun on the counter in a play of surrender.

"Look. We're just friends having a drink. That's all." Dave said, grinning again. "Now where's the good stuff, huh?"

Ava and Rick exchanged a tense glance before she saw Glenn, looking more than a little terrified.

"Good stuff, good stuff, good stuff. Let's see." Dave continued. Rick released the clasp on his gun. "Hey, look at that. That'll work." Dave said, holding a different bottle of whisky up. "You gotta understand... we can't stay out there. You know what it's like."

"Yeah." Rick said.

"I know very well what it's like out there." Ava said. "What people can be like."

"You mean the, uh, walkers?" Dave said.

"Yeah. Course."

"The farm is too crowded as is." Rick said. "I'm sorry. You'll have to keep looking."

"Keep looking." Dave said, sniffing. "Where do you suggest we do that?"

"I don't know. I hear Nebraska's nice."

"Nebraska." Dave chuckled. "This guy."

It took only a few seconds. Dave lunged for the gun on the bar but Rick got him first, shooting him in the head before turning and shooting Tony twice. The larger man went down, his own gun shooting a hole in the ceiling as he did. Rick marched towards him, cocking the gun and put a final shot in his head.

Ava sheathed her dagger, relieved to find her stomach much the same despite the smell of fresh blood in the air. Hershel stared at Rick as he moved back to the bar and Glenn looked between the bodies, shocked.

Rick returned to Tonys' body when it slumped over, landing fittingly in his own piss. He held the gun aloft, then, certain he was gone, put it back in its holster. Hershel and Ava moved to his side, Ava putting a hand on his shoulder and giving him the comfort she couldn't in front of the whole group. 


	48. Triggerfinger: Part 1

_Authors note: Sorry to have missed so many days but it is the holiday season and I've been busy spending time with my family and having fun :). I'll upload as much as I can over the holidays but either way once January comes, it'll be back to regular updates. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and enjoy this chapter! x_

* * *

S2E9P1

Ava stared at the body of Tony, Fat Tony, and fought the urge to giggle as she thought of the Simpsons character.

"Holy shit." Glenn said, edging around the bar to join her.

"You alright?" Rick said.

"Yeah."

He turned to Ava, who looked up at him and nodded. He nodded back.

"Hershel?"

The older man stared at Rick breathing hard, then nodded slowly.

"Let's head back." He said. It was only then that Ava noticed how dark it had gotten in the time the men had been there. It was well into evening if not night by this time and her stomach turned in knots at the thought of travelling back in the dark. She was almost tempted to suggest they stay the night, but the corpses and piss made her decide against it.

Rick knelt down and rifled through Tonys' pockets, finding some spare ammo before he stood and they headed towards the front of the bar. Ava rubbed her stomach gingerly. With the reminder of time came the reminder of how little she had eaten that day, and now it was catching up with her. She was starving.

Glenn edged around Dave's body to retrieve his gun, breathing heavily as they moved down the length of the bar. In the darkness, light flickered and strobed across the bar, a yellow light clearly made by headlights. Ava crouched down, an instinct Rick and Hershel also shared.

"Car." Rick said, the urgency in the whisper turning his words almost into a hiss. "Car. Get down."

They ducked and crouched under the windows of the doors, backs pressed against the wood. Ava swallowed, hoping to push her frantic heart back down into her chest and calm it, but she was having no such luck. It beat ferociously.

Seconds later, the sound of a car roared past the front of the bar. Ava looked at Rick, trying not to let the fear show on her face, and reached across the gap to gently touch her fingers to his: a sign of comfort, a silent promise that she would trust him.

They heard the car drive past and stop, doors opening and voices echoed through the palpable silence.

"Dave? Tony?" One man said.

"They said over here?" Said another.

"Yeah."

"I'm telling you, man, I heard shots." Said a third man. Three at least. They at least outnumbered them, but Ava still didn't like those odds and despite everything, despite the concentration she needed to keep, she couldn't stop thinking of her baby and how if they died there, Rick would have never known.

"I saw roamers two streets over. Might be more around here."The second man said.

"It's hot." Said the first. "We gotta get out of here."

"Dave! Tony!" The third again.

"Shut up, you idiot! You wanna attract 'em? Just stick close. We're gonna find 'em."

Ava took a deep breath and pushed away any thoughts of regrets, focusing on trying to stay alive. She stiffened when wood creaked far closer than she would have liked. A shadow formed against the glass of the doors. She and Rick looked up at the outline of a man carrying a shotgun or a rifle. It was hard to tell in shadow.

"Dude, he said to stay close." One of the men said, and the one at the door turned away from the bar and moved away from the door. Ava let loose a deep breath, wiping a hand over her face and steeling her nerves.

"Tony." The man whispered, walking off. Ava looked over at Glenn on the other side of the door and tried to smile. He offered a half-hearted one In return. Rick held his Python with a tight grip, ready to shoot should he need to. Ava reached over and took his free hand in hers, interlocking their fingers. He gave her a long, meaningful look and Ava wanted to lean in and kiss him, just for a moment before everything kicked off.

Then the moment was over and Rick shifted, letting go of her hand and standing enough to peak past the curtains. He waved Ava and Hershel across to the other side of the doors and they obliged, crouching below the windows and joining Glenn. Rick quickly followed, the four of them forming a huddle in the corner.

"Why won't they leave?" Glenn whispered, leaning on his gun with fear in his eyes.

"Would you?" Hershel whispered back. Ava patted Glenn's knee and watched the windows for shadows. Her mouth was as dry as an African dessert and she was beginning to wish she could have had that glass of whisky.

"We can't sit here any longer." Rick whispered, drawing her attention. "Let's head out the back and make a run to the car."

Ava nodded and the four started to rise, creeping towards the back until a gunshot echoed through the night. Glenn fell back against the wall and Hershel, Ava and Rick followed, Rick moving to the window to see what happened. More gunshots followed.

"What happened?" One of the men said.

"Roamers, I nailed 'em."

"They disappeared but their car's still there." Said another voice. "I cleared those buildings."

"You guys get this one?"

"No."

"Me neither."

Ava bit her lip, squeezing her eyes shut since she knew exactly what they were talking about. Rick pulled a frustrated face and slid down the door, pulling off to one side and cocking his gun.

"We're looking for Dave and Tony and no one checks the damn bar?"

Glenn started breathing hard and as the bar door opened, he jumped in front of it, leaning against it and keeping it shut.

"What?"

"Someone pushed it shut. There's someone in there."

"Yo, is someone in there?" One of the men said. Rick was breathing hard and Ava could practically see the cogs of his brain turning, trying to figure out what they should do. "Yo, if someone's in there, we don't want no trouble. We're just looking for our friends."

Hershel looked at Rick, Dave's gun in his hand. Glenn's chin quivered as he fought against his fear. Ava shifted, looking behind them as she tried to judge their chances of getting to the back before these men either got in or shot them.

"What do we do?" A man said, directing the hushed words to his friends.

"Bum rush the door?" One suggested.

"No, we don't know how many are there. Just relax." The voice got louder as he turned to them again. "We don't want any trouble. We're just looking for our friends. If something happened, tell us. This place is crawling with corpses. If you can help us not get killed, I'd appreciate it."

Rick's breathing was ragged and he used the back of his gun hand to wipe sweat from his brow. Ava wanted to move to his side to offer him strength, but she didn't want to risk the floor creaking and alerting the others.

"Dude, you're bugging. I'm telling you nobody's in there."

"Someone guard the door. If they're in there, they might know where Dave and Tony are."

Then there were footsteps heading away from them and Ava leased a breath. Silence permeated the room and she looked up, freezing when she saw Rick go to say something then stop. She begged him to stay silent in her head, but he wasn't looking in her direction. He couldn't see the look in her eyes.

"They drew on us!" He said, and Hershel sagged, putting a hand to his mouth. Clearly he had wanted Rick to be silent as much as Ava had. She closed her eyes, biting her lip as the footsteps returned.

"Dave and Tony in there? They alive?"

"No." Rick said.

"They killed Dave and Tony."

"Come on, man, let's go." Someone else said.

"No, I'm not leaving, I'm not telling Jane. I'm not gonna go back and tell them that Dave and Tony got shot by some assholes in a bar." The man said, his temper rising.

"Your friends drew on us!" Rick yelled. "They gave us no choice! I'm sure we've all lost enough people, done things we wish we didn't have to, but it's like that now. You know that! So let's just chalk this up to what it was... Wrong place, wrong-"

A shotgun blast shattered the window above Glenn, showering him and Ava in broken glass. She ducked down, covering her head to avoid the onslaught. Rick immediately stood and fired out the broken window.

"Get outta here!" He yelled to them, looking at Ava. "Go!"

She wouldn't have done it. She would have stayed with him, to protect him, but in that brief second – less than a second – all that came to mind was the life she was carrying and she raced towards the back with Glenn and Hershel, gun in hand, ducking as more gun fire barrelled through the windows. Glenn hid behind a piano and Ava slid behind an upturned table, panting hard while Hershel hid behind the bar. The bullets flying in made it impossible to go any further without the possibility of getting shot. They were trapped.


	49. Triggerfinger: Part 2

S2E9P2

In the brief reprieve, Rick emptied the ammo from his gun and reloaded.

"Hey!" He yelled to the others. "We all know this is not gonna end well! There's nothing in it for any of us! You guys just... Just back off, no one else gets hurt!"

Rick clicked the chamber back in and pulled back the hammer. Breathing hard, Ava looked away from the front of the store and checked the mag. It was full. She'd not had a chance to fire it since Atlanta. She pushed it back in and clicked off the safety.

Glenn looked over to Rick, who gestured for him to move. Ava subtly shifted to the edge of the table, nodding to him as she held the gun aloft to cover him. He took a deep breath and ran across the bar to the back door. It creaked as Glenn edged the barrel of the shotgun around it and they all waited in tense silence for the outcome.

Glenn slowly descended the stairs, wincing every time the wood creaked, and stared at the back room filled with shelves and bottles and old furniture. It was too dark to see a lot, but the rattling of bottles beyond the back door set his heart racing.

"Shit!" One of the men muttered. Glenn cocked the gun and fired at one of the windows.

"Glenn!" Rick and Ava yelled, Ava poised to race to the door should he need back up.

"I... I'm all right. I'm all right." He said, cocking the gun again and moving to the side of the door.

Rick looked around for a moment, then crouch-ran to the table Ava was behind.

"You alright?"

She nodded, still watching where Glenn had gone. Rick took her arm and cocked his head towards Hershel. They moved together to his side, Rick watching the front of the bar, Ava the door to the back.

"I'll hold 'em here." Rick said. "You two cover Glenn. See if you can make it to your car." He looked at Hershel. "Tell him... tell him to pull up back. We'll run for it, get the hell out of here."

"I'm not leaving you here alone." Ava hissed. "Besides, that makes no sense. I'll cover you, Hershel can cover Glenn."

"Ava…" Rick tried, but the look on her face stopped him from arguing. She may be worried about her child but she wasn't about to abandon Rick because of it. He was too good at putting himself in harms way for the sake of others.

"You want me to cover Glenn?" Hershel said.

"You missed all that gun training. It could've come in handy now." Rick said.

"Nah, I can shoot." Hershel said, surprising Rick. He checked the gun. "I just don't like to."

Hershel moved past to the back door, leaving Rick and Ava alone. They looked at each other and, as if the same thing occurred to both of them, they met in the middle for a kiss Ava had longed for. Rick cupped her cheek in his free hand and Ava traced her fingers along his jaw, his neck, the two moving as one, pouring every desire and wish they had into that moment. When they pulled apart, Rick pressed his forehead to hers.

Ava didn't know how long they stood like that, but nothing interrupted them until gunshots echoed from the back. They jumped, then immediately raced to the back door and through the cellar, finding Hershel at the doors.

"What happened?" Rick said as he and Ava looked on the man not far away who was groaning in agony.

"He fired." Hershel said, breathing hard. "He must've hit Glenn. He's behind the dumpster."

Ava peered past Rick, trying to get a look at Glenn, her heart once more jumping to her throat in fear.

"Doesn't look like he's moving." Hershel said.

Rick glanced both ways, eyes alert as he nudged the door open wider. He pointed his gun down towards where Glenn was and Ava stuck to his side, her gun trained in the opposite direction. They edged down the wall.

"You hit?" Rick hissed. They kept moving. "Are you hit?"

Glenn was leaning against the dumpster, face white, clutching the shotgun.

"No." He said, panting. "No."

Rick and Ava edged towards him, Hershel still in the doorway. They joined him hiding behind the dumpster and Ava put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

"It's alright." Rick said. Glenn nodded. "The car's right there."

"Okay." Glenn said, nodding to himself.

"We're almost home. You good?"

"I'm good." Glenn nodded again.

Rick took a moment, looking back towards Hershel who was still in the doorway. The man continued to groan on the floor and Ava winced, wishing him the mercy of death though whether that was a mercy for him or her she wasn't certain.

"Let's go." Rick said, standing with Glenn, trying not very subtly to keep Ava behind him. They'd barely taken a step before bullets were raining down on them.

"Get back." Rick said, pushing back as they all crouched back behind the dumpster. It was then that they noticed a man on top of the store across the road with a rifle. Ava gripped her gun, but before she could shoot a car roared between them.

"Let's get out of here!" One of the men was yelling. "Roamers all over the place! Hurry up! We gotta get out of here!"

"What about Sean?" The man on the roof said, leaning over the edge. Ava's stomach was doing flips at the mention of walkers.

"They shot him. We gotta go. Roamers are everywhere."

"We're leaving?"

"Jump!" The man on the roof moved to the edge. "Hurry up, jump already."

The man jumped, landing heavily on the roof opposite and rolling. He disappeared from sight but they heard his screams echo through the silence. Ava winced.

"Dude didn't make it." Glenn muttered. Ava swallowed, only then noticing that Rick had taken her hand.

"Help me!"

"I've gotta go." The man in the truck said. "I've gotta go. I'm sorry!"

"No, no, don't leave! Help me! No!"

The truck was gone, the poor man the only one left. Rick looked to Glenn.

"Get Hershel." He said before standing a turning towards the screaming man. He ran off and Ava was tempted to follow, to cover him, but Glenn's cry stopped her.

"Her... Hershel!" He yelled, raising his gun at a load of walkers. Ava raised her gun and fired as the walkers descended on the man Hershel had shot, the man Hershel was still staring at.

"Hershel!" She yelled, still firing, but eventually Hershel moved away from the door, still looking at the man in shock.

"The gunfire must've attracted the walkers." He said as the edged around the front of the building. "Where's Rick?"

"He ran across." Ava said.

"Well, hell, we can't go without him." Hershel growled. "Rick!"

Ava was fairly certain she knew where he was and they ran to where the man must have fallen, finding Rick looking at the man's leg. He was still groaning from the pain, but up close Ava could see how young he was. She could also see that the fence post had gone right through his leg.

"We have to go now." Hershel said.

"No!" The kid cried.

"Shh! I'm sorry, son." Hershel said to the boy. "We have to go."

"No, no, don't leave me please."

"We have to go."

"We can't." Rick said.

"He was just shooting at us!" Glenn yelled.

"He's a kid." Rick yelled back.

"Please help me."

Ava looked at the wound. The fence was one of those old Victorian Gothic-style fences with a metal fleur-de-lis on top, like an elaborate arrow head. She winced. From the design, she knew it would hurt a hell of a lot more coming off than going on. Best thing to do would be to cut the spike off and pull it the other way, but with the walkers descending there was little hope of that.

"This place is crawling with walkers!" Glenn yelled back. Ava moved to his side and put a hand on his shoulder.

"We can't leave him!"

"The fence went clean through." Hershel said, examining the wound. "There's no way we can get the leg off in one piece."

Rick shook the fence, testing how well it was attached, and the kid screamed louder.

"Shut up or I will shoot you!" He warned.

"That may be the answer." Hershel said, drawing Rick aside. "We're not gonna get that leg off without tearing the muscle to shreds. He certainly can't run. He may bleed out."

"Shut up." Glenn said, grabbing his leg. The kid screamed louder and Glenn let go. "I'm sorry. Sh-sh... shut up. Shut up."

"Maybe we should put him down. I don't wanna see any more killing, but this is cruel."

Ava sighed, moving away from the kid. The combination of that wound and an empty stomach was making her queasy.

"He might be right, Rick. I hate to say it but if we can't save him, there's no way in hell we're going to leave him here. Or…well could we take the leg off? Would he survive that?"

There was a moment of silence as Rick considered the plan.

"That hatchet still in the car?"

"No." Glenn said.

"No, don't... don't... Don't cut my leg off, please." The kid moaned. "Please, not my leg."

"It's either your leg or your life, kid." Ava said.

"Will this cut through the bone?" Rick held up his switchblade.

"I'll have to sever the ligaments below the kneecap, cut above the tibia." Hershel said, the two ignoring the boys cries and protestations. "He's going to lose his lower leg."

"No, don't. No."

"When we get clear of here," Hershel continued, removing his shirt. "We're gonna have to find some tinder, cauterize the wound so he doesn't bleed out."

"Alright, no choice." Rick said. "Hurry up."

"Oh God, oh God. No!" The kid yelled. Rick moved and held his body down against the dumpster. Ava did the same, reaching across to try and stabilise the leg. She swallowed the taste of bile in her throat and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Hand me that stick." Hershel said.

"Here." Glenn said. Ava looked to see Glenn pass Hershel the stick. He tied his shirt around the boys leg above the knee.

"No. Ah!" The boy continued to moan.

"Guys, walkers!" Glenn said. Ava swore under her breath, glancing back at Rick as Hershel twisted the stick in the shirt, creating a tourniquet.

"Hurry up!" Glenn said.

"Shut up!" Rick hissed, but the boy kept screaming. Rick slammed his palm over his mouth.

"Oh God." Ava said, and Rick followed her gaze to the other end of the alleyway.

"They're everywhere." Rick said, letting go of the boy. Ava did the same, quickly checking her ammo. 12 shots remaining. She used her gun so infrequently that she didn't carry spare ammo. Now she was regretting it.

They fired at the walkers coming down the alley.

"Hershel, how we doing over there?" Rick called.

"I need more hands!" He said. "Easy, easy."

"No, don't, don't cut my leg off please." The kid begged. Ava, seeing the walkers thinning, ran to the other side to see if Glenn needed back up, but most of his walkers were a way off so she returned to Ricks' side.

"Come on, we gotta go!" Glenn yelled. Ava knew he was right. She'd seen how many were stumbling out of the darkness. They were almost out of time.

"I'm almost out of ammo!" Rick shouted.

Ava fired at one nearby, but all she heard was an empty click. Luckily she was quick and switched her gun to her left hand, drawing the dagger and swinging it into the walkers head.

"I'm out of ammo." She said, staying back but also close enough to still be useful.

"We don't have much time! Come on, we've gotta go!" Glenn screamed.

"Can't hold 'em off!" Ava said through gritted teeth as she dodged some walkers to get a good angle at another, but slowly they were being pushed back.

"Hershel, do it now!" Rick yelled as they back up the alley, now squashed beside the bins. The smell of rotting flesh continued to bite at Ava's reserve. "Come on, Hershel!"

"There is no time!"

"Hershel, come on!" Rick said, now at his side. The bit beside the bin began to fill with walkers. Hershel stepped away from the boy, joining Glenn as they headed towards the car. Ava held her dagger aloft as Rick paused by the boy.

"Please don't leave me! Please! No! Please don't leave me!"

Rick looked down, sighed, then grabbed the boys leg and wrenched it off of the spike. The kid screamed in agony and they could do nothing else but run, the four of them struggling to carry the boy as the walkers descended.


	50. Triggerfinger: Part 3

S2E9P3

By the time they got back to camp, it was early morning and Ava had gone past the point of hungry. They all had. She watched their group run to greet them as the car swerved to a stop outside the house. Others piled out of the house and at the head of the group with Carl.

"Dad!" He sobbed, running straight to him. Rick held him tight to his side and Ava smiled at the sight, then at Maggie as she raced towards them.

"You're okay." She said, dodging her father and wrapping Glenn in her arms. Ava fought an even bigger grin, then frowned as he brushed her off, walking past. Maggie stared after him in shock. Ava put a hand on Maggie's shoulder. The woman looked heartbroken.

"Hey." She said, and Maggie turned to her. "Give him some time. We had complications in town. I think he's just shaken."

She swallowed, taking hope in her words.

"Patricia, prepare the shed for surgery." Hershel said.

"Are you hurt?" Lori asked Rick, stepping down from the porch steps.

"No, but it was a close call. We can talk about it later. All of us." He said, stilling holding Carl close.

"Who the hell is that?" T-Dog said, staring at the boy in the backseat. He'd passed out pretty quickly but was blindfolded just in case. Ava sighed.

"That's Randall." Glenn said.

Dale exchanged a look with Ava as he, Andrea, Shane and T-Dog moved to get a better look at the kid. There was clearly some dissonance, and as Hershel worked to save the boys life, everyone else gathered in the dining room to discuss the situation.

"We couldn't just leave him behind. He would've bled out, if he lived that long." Rick said.

"It's gotten bad in town." Glenn said, avoiding Maggie's eye.

"What do we do with him?" Andrea said. It was a question they'd all been wondering, but Ava wasn't sure she could come up with a suitable answer.

"I repaired his calf muscle as best I can," Hershel said as he entered the room. They all turned to him. "But he'll probably have nerve damage. Won't be on his feet for at least a week."

"When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way." Rick said.

"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Andrea pointed out, but Ava looked over, distracted as Daryl came in. She smiled at him though he took no notice unsurprisingly.

"He'll have a fighting chance."

"Just gonna let him go?" Shane said. "He knows where we are."

"He was blindfolded the whole way here." Rick said.

"He's an injured kid left to die." Ava added.

"He's not a threat."

"Not a threat." Shane echoed. "How many of them were there? You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage, but they just ain't gonna come looking?"

"They left him for dead." Rick said. "No one is looking."

"We should still post a guard." T-Dog suggested.

"He's out cold right now, will be for hours." Hershel said.

"You know what? I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy." Shane said, scoffing as he stormed off. "Look at this, folks... We back in fantasy land."

"You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet." Hershel said, staring at Shane with dark eyes. "Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all... This is my farm. Now I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us both a favour... Keep your mouth shut."

Shane sighed, anger tensing every muscle in his body and for a moment Ava feared he would hit Hershel, but then he turned and stormed off.

"We're not gonna do anything about it today." Rick said. "Let's just cool off."

With that, the impromptu meeting was adjourned and everyone went off to do their own thing. Ava didn't really know what to do, twiddling her thumbs as she thought of everything they did that night. The killing, the men and everything else. And of course the kiss.

Ava bit her lip, rubbing her chin as she stood. Glenn was going into the kitchen with Maggie and she thought they deserved some peace. She stepped outside and looked at Carl and Rick, together by the campfire: two people she loved very dearly.

She sighed, leaning against the railing as she wondered what they could do. She needed to talk to Rick, needed to find the time for them to figure things out, for her to tell him she was carrying his child. At the thought of her baby, her stomach growled once more and she sighed, turning away from Rick and Carl and heading back into the house.


	51. 18 miles out: Part 1

S2E10P1

The last week had been busy, filled with Hershel checking Ava's wound, Ava and the others checking on Randal, and everyone else taking watch of the prisoner. It had passed with little incident, though Ava was growing more and more aware of the burden she was about to put on the group.

But first she had to tell Rick.

She sat by the fire, cooking up some eggs for the others who were either off doing other jobs or still asleep.

"Ava?"

She looked up at the voice, seeing Carl exit his tent, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey kid. Sleep well?"

"Yeah." He said, but he sounded very sleepy. He came over to the fire and sat in front of it, looking greedily at the eggs. Ava smirked.

"They're almost done. Just give it a few minutes."

"Okay."

They sat in silence for a few moments and Ava frowned at the boy, sensing there was something he wanted to say but wasn't. With the eggs cooked, she shovelled some onto a plate for him and handed it over, holding on to the edge until he looked her in the eye.

"What's wrong?"

He looked down, taking the plate, and shrugged.

"Nothing."

"Well, I know that's not true. I've seen that look a hundred times on my niece's face. I know you want to say something."

"What did she want to say?" Carl asked before piling eggs into his mouth. Ava sighed.

"Usually she wanted to talk about her dad. He wasn't a good man. She couldn't understand why he didn't want to stick around for her."

Carl chewed thoughtfully.

"Did talking about it help her?"

"I think so." Ava said, smiling. "Talking about things generally makes things better. You can talk to me Carl. I won't tell anyone what you say unless it's okay with you." She promised. Carl thought for a moment, then nodded.

"I was just…You remember that time we went for a walk, before we found Sophia, and mum and Shane were in the woods?"

Ava blanched but nodded, nibbling some egg from her fork. She didn't eat too much in the mornings on account of the sickness.

"Well, I don't understand what happened. Mum and Dad haven't really talked since and I don't know why. What were they doing?"

"I think that's something you should ask your mother about, kid."

Carl huffed.

"I did. She said they were foraging, but I don't think that's true. And why did you stop me looking?"

Ava said nothing, chewing her lip as she tried to figure out what to say.

"I'm not stupid, you know."

"Oh, I know Carl. I'd never think you were stupid."

"They were doing something wrong, weren't they?"

Ava gave no confirmation, but the non-answer was enough. Carl looked down.

"Are my parents getting a divorce?"

Ava sighed and put aside her measly plate of eggs, moving to sit beside Carl.

"Honestly? I don't know, kid. The world is a lot more confusing than it ever was before – for adults as much as kids. I don't know your mum that well but I know your dad. He's a good man and he'll do what is right by you. I promise."

Carl nodded, but the way he avoided her gaze made it pretty obvious to her that he was trying not to cry. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and squeezed it tight.

"It's going to be okay, Carl."

"I don't want them to get a divorce. I want them to be happy and together like they used to be."

"I know, buddy. Believe me. But sometimes people fall out of love. It happens. But I want you to know that it is in no way your fault and they will never stop loving you."

"But you said people fall out of love." Carl said, looking up at her with red eyes. She wiped a tear from his cheek.

"Not with their children. A parent will always love their child no matter what." Ava felt herself tear up as Carl nodded, wiping his eyes and turning back to his eggs. She looked up at the sound of voices and saw Rick, Shane and Daryl heading towards the cars with Randal, who hobbled behind. Ava rubbed Carls' arm.

"Hey. Is it okay if I talk to your dad about what you said? Like I said, adults get confused too and I think he needs to know how you feel."

"He's dealing with a lot." Carl said, sniffing.

"He is, but he's still your father. He'll make time for you."

Carl looked up at her and nodded. She patted him on the back and stood.

"Go to the RV and tell Glenn the eggs are done. I'm sure he'll tell everyone else. Where's your mum?"

"It's laundry day."

Ava nodded and headed away from camp, looking back at the boy as he headed towards the RV. She sighed. The poor kid didn't deserve to be stuck in the middle of this, but what could they do?

Ava headed down towards the car and saw Daryl shove Randal into the boot. Shane and Rick stood in silence.

"Hey, Rick." Ava said as she approached. "Can I have a word?"

"Now's not the time sweetheart." Shane said, every word dripping with disdain. Ava glared at him.

"Give me a minute." Rick told him, heading towards Ava who moved out of Shane's earshot. Rick frowned.

"You alright? You look concerned?"

"I am concerned."

"It'll be alright." Rick said, his hand moving as if he wanted to touch her. "We're taking Randal 18 miles out. Should be far enough."

Ava shook her head.

"That's not what I'm concerned about. Rick, you've got to talk to your son."

Rick frowned, looking back to camp.

"Why? What's wrong? Is he okay?"

"He's confused, Rick, and stuck in the middle of whatever the hell is going on between us and Shane and Lori. He knows Lori lied about that time in the woods. He knows what they were really doing."

Rick sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"God dammit."

Ava put her hands on her hips and bit her lip, looking between the camp and Shane, who scowled at them every so often.

"He asked if you were getting a divorce."

Rick looked up.

"What did you say?"

"I said I don't know – partly because it's not my place to say that to him but mostly because I have no fricking idea. I've seen you and Lori this past week. She's been all over you and it hasn't made things any easier for any of us."

"You think I want to be with her? After everything?" Rick said, looking at her as if she were crazy.

"I don't know, Rick." Ava said, throwing her arms up. "I don't know what you want. One moment you're kissing me as if it were the last time we'd ever be able to, the next you're telling Lori you can make it work."

"Who told you I said that?" Rick said, his temper rising.

"Lori did. She told me to back off."

Rick stared at her, eyes dark with rage. Ava folded her arms and shrugged.

"I didn't want to turn it into a big deal, so I kept quiet about it. I'm not going to pretend that didn't break my heart to hear-"

"I never told her that." Rick cut her off, stepping forward so their bodies were almost pressed together and Ava saw the dark rage turn to intensity. Ava swallowed.

"Well, maybe she thought we'd stop if she made me think you wanted her back."

"Lori told me that Shane scares her, that he's unstable and dangerous, that she thinks he killed Otis. Sacrificed him so he could get back."

Ava's jaw dropped, but she wasn't entirely surprised at the thought of Shane having done that.

"She wants me back because she doesn't want him. But I don't want anything more to do with her. For Carls' sake, I've been civil, but there are only two people in this camp that I love: Carl and you."

Ava's jaw dropped again for an entirely different reason. She so desperately wanted to kiss him but Carl's conversation was fresh in her mind. She didn't need to confuse him anymore.

She reached across the gap between them and gently interweaved the tips of her fingers with his, a subtle touch that warmed with the connection.

"You need to talk to Carl about this." Ava said eventually, when the glow of joy in her chest had dissipated to a reasonable warmth. "Make it clear to him what's going on, because otherwise this will never work."

Rick nodded, staring deep into her eyes. He licked his lips but pulled away.

"I will talk to him as soon as we get back. That I can promise you."

Ava nodded.

"And Rick?" She said as he turned to head back to the car. He looked back and Ava smiled tenderly.

"I love you too."


	52. 18 miles out: Part 2

S2E10P2

Rick drove with hands tight on the wheel, his knuckles white from the pressure. Every now and then he had to flex them just to return some feeling to the muscles. He couldn't stop thinking about what Ava had said, about Carl and how he had been affected. He was a failure of a father. He'd been so caught up in dealing with Lori and Shane, Hershel and the walkers, and his feelings for Ava that he hadn't considered Carls' feelings much at all. The boy was too good at holding it together.

After a while the silence became too much and Rick stopped the car before stepping out. They were just before a crossroad, the surrounding grass silent and deserted. They were alone.

"I thought we were going further." Shane said, joining Rick outside the car with his shotgun in hand. They wandered up the road a bit.

"We are." Rick said. "18 miles out."

"So why are we stopping?"

"I wanted to talk. Been waiting a week till we were gonna do this, and with what Ava said earlier... I just wanna talk." Rick said.

"We don't need to." Shane shook his head.

"We do."

"No man, we don't. We're doing this. I get it. He was passed out when y'all brought him back, doesn't know where the farm is-"

"That isn't what I need to talk to you about." Rick said, cutting him off. Shane knew what he needed to talk to him about. It had been a long time coming, but Rick had put it off for the sake of keeping the group together. After everything Lori and Ava had told him though, he was beginning to think he'd left it too long.

"I heard what really happened at the school from Lori. Was it to survive?"

Shane looked away.

"Yeah. One of us wasn't gonna make it out. It had to be him. One shot to the leg, Carl lives. Reality is... He had no business being here – there. Whatever."

Rick nodded to himself, rubbing his chin.

"You don't think I would've done it?"

"No, man, I know you wouldn't have." Shane said, shaking his head.

"You don't think I can keep the group safe?" Rick said, narrowing his eyes.

"I didn't say that." Shane sighed.

"Or Carl? My son? A boy who is confused and messed up because of what he saw his mum and dad's best friend doing?"

"Shit, don't put that on me Rick. How's he gonna react when you and Ava stop beating around the damned bush?" Shane growled.

"Is it gonna have to be me too?"

"Rick, you can't just be the good guy and expect to live. Okay?" Shane said. "Not anymore."

Rick shifted, placing his hands on his hips and looking back to the car.

"I'm not the good guy anymore. To save Carl's life, I would've done anything. Anything." He moved closer to Shane, staring at him hard and with conviction. "Now Lori says you're dangerous, but you're not gonna be dangerous. Not to us, not to me, not anymore. How about you look at me?"

Shane looked up, his expression difficult to read but Rick could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Lori says she wants you back, huh?" Shane said.

"She says that. She doesn't mean it."

Shane scoffed, rubbing his head.

"Yeah, she don't want you. You're not strong enough for her, Rick, not able to do the things I can. She's only doing this cause of Ava."

"She's doing this because she didn't expect me to find someone else. The fact that I have, that I actually have feelings for Ava, is making her jealous, that's all. Quite frankly, man, if you love Lori and she loves you, go for it."

Shane blinked, surprised by Ricks' words. Rick shook his head and chuckled in disbelief at himself, at everything. He rubbed his face.

"When I first figured it out – and I figured it out pretty quickly – I wanted to break your jaw, let you choke on your teeth." Rick said, still chuckling lightly to himself. "But I didn't. Because I knew what me and Lori had was gone. So I'm telling you now that if she wants you, you can have her. When we get back, I'm talking to Carl and I'm going to explain everything with or without Lori. He deserves to know and he will."

He took a moment, watching Shane who stared at the tarmac at their feet, his expression unreadable.

"This has to stop, Shane. We can't keep dancing in this circle of love and hate. I'm clear on where I stand. I'm clear on where Ava stands. I'm pretty sure I'm clear on where you stand. We have to make this work because the only way you and me keep on... is that you accept everything I just said right here, right now, and we move forward with that understanding."

Shane looked up and out to the fields, licking his lips. After a few seconds of silence, Rick sighed and headed back towards the car.

"When it started it was just…it was a couple of weird stories on the news." Shane said. Rick slowed his pace and stopped. "Then it was so quick. Everything. It just happened. Two weeks later, I'm in the hospital and there were soldiers shooting people in the halls. They were shooting people, man, not walkers. Then the walkers came through. You know, I tried to get you out, I tried, but we weren't gonna make it. Man, there was no way and I knew it. But I couldn't live with it. I couldn't live, knowing…But I had to. I didn't keep Lori and Carl alive, man. They kept me alive."

Rick took a deep breath, his shoulders sagging with the weight of what had been left unsaid for so long finally coming out, but still he did not turn.

"I want you to know that I didn't look at her before that. Brother, if I could take it all back, I would."

Rick was surprised by the emotion in his voice as he said this and truly believed his friend. Shane may have gone off the rails, but he hoped beyond anything else that things would get better from here.

"I wanna check the ropes." Was all he said before heading back to the car.

Music blared from headphones in Randall's ears, leaking out when Rick opened the boot. He checked Randall's face, seeing he was coherent and well enough. As Shane joined him at the back of the car, he twisted Randall and tugged at the ropes on both his hands and his feet.

"It's all good." He said before pulling the blindfold back over the boys head.


	53. 18 miles out: Part 3

S2E10P3

They continued in silence, the conversation having done little to sort out their qualms though Rick felt things were better. There was an understanding between them now.

"We've gotta start using our knives more." Rick said, turning any conversation away from Lori or Ava. "If there's one walker, we use our knives. We keep things quiet. We save ammunition."

"Yeah." Was Shane's reply. He stared out of the window, his mind clearly elsewhere.

"We need dry goods ahead of the winter. Warm clothes... fuel. Maybe we get a break. You gotta think the cold affects them. If it doesn't kill 'em, it's gotta slow 'em down. The second week of January last year, we got all that snow and ice. My cousin got stuck on 85 for 24 hours. Sitting in his car with a birthday cake for his girlfriend at Georgia tech. He just sat and ate birthday cake and listened to the "Lord Of The Rings" book on tape. We get lucky, we get the same winter as last year. By December, it's a different world. Safer."

Still no word from Shane, though Rick pressed on.

"Maybe we find some snowmobiles to make runs."

"That sounds good." He said, though he still sounded like his mind was elsewhere. Rick gave up on conversation after that and tried to ignore the thought that their friendship would never be the same again. He preferred to think about how things could change, once everything had settled down.

A while down the road, Shane sighed and turned to Rick.

"It's more than 18." He said.

"Yeah, I'm looking for a place."

"A place for what?"

"Give him a fair shake." Rick said. "A shot."

Shane smiled to himself, clearly still certain Rick was making the wrong decision. They continued on past the train track and as they passed a fenced off area, Rick spotted a yellow school bus.

"There." He said, pulling in to an area labelled 'Mert County: Department of Public Works'. He stopped the car and stepped out with Shane, looking around the abandoned area. It had fences and a security gate.

"This'll do." Rick said. "We'll leave the boy here and scavenge some supplies."

Rick felt the involuntary tensing he always did when he saw a walker as one lumbered from behind a truck.

"Over there." He said, nodding to it. It wasn't until Rick heard the click of the safety that he noticed Shane raising his gun. Rick held his hand out. "Wait. Like I said."

Rick pulled his knife free and cut open the tip of his finger, rubbing the blood against the fence. The walker growled louder and made a bee line from them, banging into the chain-link. He then stabbed the knife into its head.

"Gun's quick, easy, but there are other ways to do this." Rick looked across the courtyard and saw another walker. "One more. Your turn."

Shane looked at Rick, but did as he said. With the two dispatched, they cut the chain on the gate and went inside, canvassing the area. The grounds were littered with supplies and rubbish. It wasn't until they neared the back that they saw a pile of burnt bodies. Shane went into the school bus, seeing a set up that suggested people had been living there.

While Rick siphoned the fuel from the truck, Shane looked at the bodies they'd taken out at the gates.

"Hey, Rick." He said, drawing his attention. "I don't see any bites."

"Gotta be scratches then." Rick said, joining him beside the bodies. "This one's hand, other one's cheek. They had walkers here, burned bodies down the hill."

"I guess it gotta be scratches then, huh?" Shane said, frowning.

With everything else dealt with, Rick drove the car into the area while Shane handled the gate and they dragged Randal from the boot. They took him to the centre of the courtyard and forced him to his knees, removing the blindfold, gag and headphones. The boy looked, confused.

"The hell is this?" he said. Rick wrapped up the headphones and he and Shane started heading away from him. "Oh, come on, don't be stupid. I owe you guys. I can help protect what you've got."

Rick looked down, still struggling with his decision.

"Why would you save my life just to kill me by leaving me here? One guy, one guy can't make it alone. That's why I was with those dudes, I was alone."

Randal was panting hard as Rick stopped, pulling free his penknife and flipping out the blade. He threw it to the ground, near enough for Randal to get eventually.

"Don't be stupid! I'm not like them!" He continued to yell, falling on his side as he protested further. "I'm just some guy! I used to watch football and screw around on the Internet. I lived with my mom! I lost her like you lost people. I went to school with Maggie for God's sake!"

Rick stopped when he said that, turning to Shane as they shared a look. Internally, Rick groaned. The boy couldn't have just kept his mouth shut and let it end like this.

"I went to church. I rode the bench on varsity baseball." He continued as if letting on that he knew Maggie had been nothing important. Rick started back towards him.

"You went to school with Maggie?"

"You go to school with Maggie?" Shane repeated. "Answer the question!"

"Did you go to school with Maggie?" Rick yelled as they got closer. The boy gaped up at them.

"I…she didn't know me. Didn't even know I existed. I mean, I knew her. I knew who her dad was."

Rick sighed, rubbing his face as he moved away from the kid again.

"There is no way I would ever do anything to hurt her or her family." Randal continued.

"Jesus." Rick said, running a hand through his hair.

"Or you or your people! I'm not like the guys I was with!"

Rick turned to stare at Randal, stranded on his belly like a fish out of water.

"He knows where the farm is, Rick." Shane said. "Where we are, he knows. Say he finds his way back to his people..."

Rick said nothing, sighing deeply as he tried to think of something to do. Shane sighed too, right before drawing his gun.

"Shane, no!" Rick yelled, barging him aside in time for the bullet to miss. The gunshot echoed. "Not now, just not now!"

Shane leaned against the car behind him, smacking its bodywork.

"Well, when, Rick? When?"

Rick kicked his gun aside.

"When I've had a chance to think about it." Rick said, looking down on Shane.

"Don't let him kill me." Randal begged. "Please don't."

"Shut up!" Rick yelled, walking away from Shane and planting his hands on his hips. "We're going back. It's a man's life." He said, turning back to Shane when he heard him scoff. "I need a night to think it through."

"You're gonna bring this piece of garbage – this piece of garbage who, he shot at you, Rick. He ran with men who tried to kill you. You gonna bring him back to where Lori sleeps? To where Carl sleeps?" Shane yelled, eyes wide with anger.

"He'll be locked up in the barn, unless you bust it open." Rick said, not evening bothering to hold back his contempt.

"Oh, don't start that shit." Shane growled.

"I'm taking the night." Rick said again.

"Man, you take that, you think on it, Rick." Shane goaded. "Keep struggling with it. It ain't hard, man. The right choice is the one that keeps us alive. It's always the same with you. It's like the first moment, it's whenever you're put to the test."

Shane pushed up from the ground, standing beside the car.

"Stop acting like you know the way ahead, like you know the rules." Rick said. "There are no rules, man. We're lost."

"No, no, no, man." Shane said, shaking his head and getting up in Ricks' face. "I know exactly where I am."

"You don't know shit anymore."

"I don't think you can do it, Rick."

"It's my call, man."

"I don't think you can keep them safe."

Rick turned back to Shane, fury burning through his veins.

"You couldn't keep Carl from getting shot. Couldn't save Sophia from the walkers. Hell, it was Daryl who found Ava half dead in a ditch. You couldn't protect any of them."

Rick shook his head, trying to hold onto his anger, but he couldn't. He threw a punch at Shane that Shane caught, head-butting him in response. Rick groaned and fell to the ground, his head pounding as Shane pulled free his Python.

Before Shane could draw it on Randal, Rick twisted and threw Shane into the bonnet of the car, punching him twice before Shane grabbed him in a bear hug and threw him into the bonnet. Rick groaned from the impact.

The fight continued, the two throwing punches fuelled by the pent-up rage and frustration they had towards each other. Rick pushed him into the fence, punching him in the gut before Shane got the upper hand and pressed him against the front of a truck. The punches flew from both sides until Shane threw Rick across the ground.

Rick rolled, groaning, and moved just enough out of the way that Shane only crushed his leg under the motorbike.

"Ah! Damn!" Rick growled, as Shane headed to where his gun had gone. Rick managed to get free of the bike and slammed into Shane again as he took aim on the boy. They fell to the ground, struggling with the gun.

"Get off me, man." Shane growled. Rick managed to get on top of the Shane, trying to avoid his fingers as they scratched at his face. He punched him hard three times before clamouring off of him, growling as he stood.

"You're not doing this!" Rick said, staggering on his feet. "You don't get to make these calls anymore. I won't let you."

Shane stood, moving to the side of the truck and grabbing a massive wrench. He looked at Rick once and all he saw in his friends' eyes was hatred. Shane let out a cry of rage and threw the wrench, only missing Rick because he fell to the side. It spun and crashed through the windows behind him.

Rick shifted in the pile of rubbish bags, panting heavily as he looked at Shane. He'd almost killed him. Not just a punch up, bruises and scrapes here and there. He'd actually tried to kill him.

This moment of realisation was ruined, however, when more glass shattered above and growls followed. Rick looked up to see a walker break through the last of the glass and tumble from the window. He moved aside, grabbing the walker as it lunged at him and managed to take it out with his pen knife.

Only a moment later, masses of walkers piled from the window in a frenzy. Rick grabbed the one he'd just killed and pulled it on top of him, trying to be as still as possible as they flooded from the building and raced after Shane.


	54. 18 miles out: Part 4

S2E10P4

Ava wandered back to camp and sighed as she returned to the tents. Andrea was on top of the RV and stood when she saw her.

"Where the hell have you been? We've been worried."

Ava blinked, moving to the RV and climbing up to join her on the roof.

"Sorry. I needed to go for a walk. My stomach was giving me issues."

"Well, let us know beforehand. What's the point in keeping watch if you wander off without saying?" Andrea sighed, tipping her hat. Ava smirked.

"I suppose so. Sorry for worrying you. Is there anything that needs doing around here? Since my leg healed I've felt kind of at a loss for what my purpose here is." She sighed. Andrea chuckled.

"Ava you can do whatever you want. You're one of the scavengers, a sharp-shooter and a mum to the group. I think you do enough."

Ava blinked.

"You think I'm a mum to the group?"

Andrea snorted, turning back to her chair and lounging in it, rifle braced across her lap.

"I saw you with Carl this morning. Don't think I've seen Lori like that with him since we left Atlanta camp."

Ava bit her lip, realising this was true and wondered if it wasn't just Rick who'd been distracted from Carl by everything else. She began to chew at her lip, wondering if she should bring this up to Lori. It wouldn't end well, she was sure.

"Andrea?" Dale said, coming over to the RV.

"What's up, Dale?"

"It's time for me to relieve you." He said, smiling when he saw Ava. She waved at him. Andrea stood, leaving the rifle in the chair as she and Ava both descended.

"How's Beth?" Andrea said.

"Maggie's in with her now." Dale sighed, patting Ava on the shoulder before moving to the RV.

"Beth took a knife." Andrea told Ava. "Lori thinks she was going to kill herself."

Ava pressed a hand to her mouth, eyes wide as her mind raced for anything that could help. She and Andrea headed towards the house as Dale took watch.

"How serious is she about this?"

"I don't know." Andrea said. "Why?"

"Because I'm not a psychologist. I don't think anyone here is and even if we were…" Ava ran a hand through her hair, wincing as her fingers caught in the knots. Yet again she found herself making a mental note to cut it short and snapped a hair band around the mess. "Issues of depression and suicide are very intricate and complicated. I just don't know if we have the resources to deal with this right."

They entered the house and paused as the sounds of Maggie and Beths' argument echoed down from above. Andrea and Ava exchanged a look before moving towards the kitchen where Lori sat on the sideboard, looking glum. Her jaw tensed when she saw Ava, but Ava forced herself to smile at Lori for the sake of group harmony. Lori's lip twitched before she looked away.

Andrea leaned against a counter as Ava pulled out one of the stools at the kitchen cabinet, her hand instantly reaching for the bowl of fruit in the centre. Her stomach was aching like crazy.

"Where's Hershel?" Andrea asked Lori.

"He doesn't want to find out yet." She said. "It's a family affair. We'll let them work it out."

Andrea cocked a brow.

"That's working it out?"

"When Beth stops fighting, that's when it's time to worry." Lori said, jumping down from the counter.

"You are being so selfish!" Echoed down. Ava looked up at the sound of Maggie's voice and sighed.

"This could've been handled better." Andrea said, pursing her lips.

"How so?"

"You shouldn't have taken the knife away."

Lori turned around from the sink and even Ava looked up at that, pausing mid-chew.

"Excuse me?"

"You were wrong, like Dale taking my gun. That wasn't your decision."

"We can't just let her…just let her die, it's…" Ava trailed off and bit her lip.

"She has to choose to live on her own." Andrea said to her. "She has to find her own reasons."

"Want me to tie a noose for her?" Lori said.

"She can't make that sort of decision in this mindset." Ava said, fiddling with a peach as she slowly devoured it. "Ask someone at their lowest point: grieving, lost and hopeless – they'll say yes to ending it all. Hell, if you'd asked me that back when I was alone, I probably would have considered it. Right now I'm glad I didn't have that choice because things got better."

Andrea sighed, shrugging.

"If she's serious, she'll figure out a way."

"Doesn't mean I can't stop her or let her know that I care." Lori said, moving around the kitchen, cleaning things up to avoid eye contact with either of them. Ava grabbed another piece of fruit and she wasn't stupid enough to think the gesture was absent-minded when Lori took the bowl and put it on the side-board, out of reach.

"That has nothing to do with it, Lori." Andrea said. "She only has so many choices in front of her, and she believes the best one is suicide."

"That's not an option."

"Of course it is. She doesn't need to be yelled at or treated like a child."

"She needs a loaded gun, right?" Lori said, sarcastically. "You'll understand if I don't send you in there."

Andrea gaped at Lori.

"I came through it." She said.

"And became such a productive member of the group. Let Maggie handle this her way."

"I contribute. I help keep this place safe." Andrea protested, frowning at Lori. Lori nodded before actually looking at Andrea.

"The men can handle this on their own. They don't need your help."

Andrea stepped away from the sideboard, hands on her hips as she took that in. She looked to Ava, who's mouth was filled with peach. Ava raised her brows in a 'don't look at me' way.

"I'm sorry. What would you have me do?" Andrea said, turning to Lori.

"Oh, there's plenty of work to go around."

"Are you serious?" Andrea said, scowling. "Everything falls apart and you're in my face over skipping laundry?"

"Puts a burden on the rest of us, on me and Carol, and Patricia and Maggie. Cooking, cleaning and caring for Beth. And you, you don't care about anyone but yourself. You sit up on that RV, working on your tan with a shotgun in your lap."

"No, I am on watch against walkers. That is what matters, not fresh mint leaves in the lemonade. What, is Ava the only woman allowed to go out there and fight?"

Ava swallowed her mouthful, looking between Andrea and Lori and cringing at the thought of being dragged into the argument. Just one day, she thought, one hour was all she wanted without any sort of conflict.

"We are providing stability." Lori said. "We are trying to create a life worth living. And Ava? Well…" Lori looked briefly at the brown-haired woman at the kitchen table, mouth stuffed with fruit. "She is the most qualified out of any of us to be out there fighting the walkers, whether I like it or not. And she does help. She been cooking and cleaning, helping Maggie with the chores. What were you doing?"

Ava blinked, surprised to be praised by the woman who clearly hates her.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Look, I went after Rick. I took down two walkers-"

"After crashing Maggie's car-"

"- don't act like you're the only one who can take care of herself-"

"-ever apologize for that?"

They spoke over one another as Ava sucked the last of the flesh from the peach stone.

"Crashing her… you're insane."

"No, you are." Andrea said. "And you're the one that's self-centred, the way you take it all for granted."

"My husband is out there for the hundredth time. My son was shot. Don't you dare tell me I take this for granted." Lori yelled, getting up in Andrea's face.

"You don't get it, do you?" Andrea said, frowning. "Your husband came back from the dead, your son too. The rest of us have piled up our losses, me, Carol, Beth, but you just keep on keeping on."

"We have all suffered." Lori said under her breath.

"Playing house, acting like the queen bee, laying down rules for everybody but yourself. You know what? Go ahead. Go in there and tell that little girl that everything's gonna be okay, just like it is for you. She'll get a husband, a son, a boyfriend."

Lori turned slowly to stare at Andrea in shock. Ava swallowed, not even shifting in her seat in case the wood creaked.

"She just has to look on the bright side." Andrea said mockingly, rolling her eyes as she left the kitchen. Lori stared at the space she vacated for the longest time, Ava sat there in silence so long her butt went numb. Finally she knew she couldn't keep quiet anymore.

"Lori-"

"Don't talk to me."

"Just listen." Ava said, standing and moving over to her. "Please?"

Lori stared at her.

"Why should I?"

"Because we've both done things that warrant hostility, but it can't go on like this. We need to stop clinging to the past and move on."

Lori scoffed.

"Oh, you would say that. Moving on means you get my husband."

Ava rubbed her head, scoffing.

"Yeah, sure, see it that way if you want, but Rick told me you lied about you two giving it another go. Shane loves you. Carl is already certain you guys are splitting up-"

"What did you say?" Lori said, stepping closer.

"What-"

"What did you say to Carl to make him think that?"

Ava gaped at her.

"He saw you and Shane in the woods! He's not stupid Lori. He knows you weren't foraging."

Lori looked away, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth.

"You need to talk to him about these things so he can understand-"

"You stay the hell away from my son, you hear me? You don't talk to him again." Lori warned. Ava scoffed again, but before she could say anything, she pushed past her and left the house. Ava rubbed her head and scoffed again.

"Unbelievable." She muttered, before heading outside in search of something to do that would keep her mind off of things.


	55. 18 miles out: Part 5

_HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!_

* * *

S2E10P5

As the walkers moved past, Rick threw the body off of him and crouched as he ran between the cars, getting onto his hands and knees beside the one his gun had gone under. He had to lie on his back to reach down and get it, the whole time he fumbled spent staring at an oncoming walker. If he died here…

He couldn't think that. He had too much left to do at camp, to make things right. Ava and Carl. It was all waiting. He was sure as shit not going to let Shane ruin everything yet again.

He got the gun and pulled it free, shooting the walker just in time. The head flew back and the body sagged, right on top of Rick. He groaned as the weight pushed air from his lungs, but didn't have time to shift it away before another walker was on top of him.

Rick aimed past the first walker, but it knocked the barrel aside, blowing the glass out of the passenger side window as it fell on top of him and the walker. Breathing hard, Rick managed to point the gun to the second walker and kill it. Another dead weight. Adrenaline and pressure was making it hard for him to breathe. How many bullets did he have left?

A third walker joined the pile and Rick craned his neck, trying to keep his head out of the walkers reaching grasp. He managed to get his free hand on its neck, enough to hold it back as it reached past the heads of the other two walkers. Rick tried to bring the gun up, but he couldn't get an angle, couldn't get a shot.

He took a deep breath, clenching his jaw as he forced the barrel of the gun into the first walkers mouth, pushing it as deep as it would go before firing multiple times, wearing away the back of the skull and taking out the walker. He didn't realise he'd been crying out until the gunshot faded. His stuttered breathing shifted to a normal pace as he calmed, though his finger continued to click the trigger, the hollow sound showing he was out of ammo. He looked either side and saw his knife beside him, grabbing it before straining and groaning as he shifted the three walkers off of him.

Rick wrenched the python free of the walkers mouth and clenched his jaw as he stood. Randal raced past, but Rick was quick and put the gun to his head.

"Oh! Holy shit." The boy said, trying to get away, but Rick grabbed the back of his top and dragged him down.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Rick growled.

"What did you expect me to do?" Randal exclaimed. "Please, just let me go, man. That's what you came here for. I'm not gonna tell anyone anything."

"Shut up." Rick said, looking around and spotting Shane's gun on the ground. He grabbed it.

"You wanna stay here?" Randal said. "Help the guy that just tried to bash your head in?"

Rick looked up over the car, taking in the walkers that had Shane trapped in the school bus.

"There's 10 roamers there." The kid said. "You think you can take them on? They don't see us. We can get out of here."

But Rick continued to stare at the school bus.

"Oh, come on." Randal muttered. "Fine! But let me have a gun. I'll help you. I'll show you. I can. I know it."

"Let's go." Rick said, swallowing hard.

"What?"

"He did this." Rick thought of the wrench spinning towards his face. "We're going."

"Oh, thank you. Thank you."

Rick dragged Randal down the courtyard and out through the gates, pausing to look at the bodies they'd taken out earlier. He pulled the guns from their belts and breathed deep, then he shook his head. Shane had tried to kill him, but he couldn't leave him behind. He just couldn't. He turned to Randal.

"Give me your hands."

"What?"

"Hands, now!" Rick yelled. The boy obliged and Rick cut him free. "Now, you're gonna drive the car and your gonna drive it up the courtyard and past the school bus. We're gonna get Shane out of there."

"He tried to kill you."

"I know that, now get in the car!"

The kid obeyed and revved the engine as they slammed through the fences. Rick leaned out the passenger window and fired at the walkers piled against the bus door.

"Shane! Run! Go for the back door!" He yelled, watching the shadow of his old friend running down the aisle. He kicked open the back of the bus seconds before the car rounded the corner and jumped onto the back door window, ducking inside.

"Go, man, go!" Rick yelled to Randal and the car reversed, squishing a walker head as it did. Rick continued to fire until the car hared away from the compound.

"Whoo! Yeah!" Randal yelled, grinning like a lunatic. "Hell yeah! You see that? You see what we did?"

"Just keep driving." Rick growled, pointing the barrel of the gun at him. The kid suppressed his smile and did as he was told. Not long after, they made him stop the car and re-bound him with the headphones in. Rick dragged him back to the boot and shut him inside. They leaned against the boot.

"If you wanna kill me, you're gonna have to do better than a wrench." Rick said, giving Shane a hard stare. Shane looked down. "Probably gonna have to kill that boy, but I am gonna think about it a night. It can't be that easy, killing someone, killing anyone. You know that. If you're gonna be with us, you gotta follow my lead, you gotta trust me."

Shane looked down again.

"It was fine before you turned up." He said eventually, sighing. "Lori, Carl, we were like a family. And you're right, man. About letting all this go. And if I have Lori I'm fine with that." He looked up at Rick. "But she don't want me. Not now Ava wants you. She ruined everything almost as badly as you did. But I don't want things to continue like this. I want things to move on."

Rick nodded, wiping some blood from his face with back of his hand.

"I'm making everything clear the moment we get back. Lori and I are done. I love Ava and I want to be with her."He turned to look at Shane and, despite everything, he smiled. "I hope things work out for you, brother. It's time for you to come back."

Rick held out a gun, offering it to Shane, who took it with little hesitation. They returned to the car and turned towards home.


	56. 18 miles out: Part 6

_It's about to go down..._

* * *

S2E10P6

Ava looked up as Andrea raced across the grounds, distracted from the laundry she was working on.

"What's going on?" Carl asked. He'd been sat with Ava for the last hour, the two exchanging stories of the past and (reluctantly on Carls' part) practicing times tables and other school-type things.

"I don't know, kid." She said. Maggie and Lori came out of the house as Andrea reached them. Ava blanched, dropping the laundry and racing to join them, Carl not far behind.

"Where were you?" Maggie said, her voice harsh.

"I heard. Is she all right?" Andrea said.

"She would be if you had stayed with her. Where were you?"

"How bad is she?"

"It wasn't deep." Lori said. Andrea sighed, smiling.

"She wants to live. She made her decision."

"She tried to kill herself." Maggie growled. Ava reached them and slowed, gathering the situation from what she heard.

"No, she didn't."

"My father is stitching her wrist right now."

"She'll live." Andrea said, moving to head into the house.

"Stay away from her." Maggie said, glaring. "From both of us. Don't you dare step foot inside this house again."

Andrea looked past her to Lori, who held her gaze but said nothing. By this point they'd gathered quite a crowd: T-Dog, Dale and Glenn among them. Ava swallowed.

"Look, I'm not saying what Andrea did was right, but at least we know now. Beth wants to live."

"And where the hell were you?"

Ava stuttered, taken off guard as everyone was by Lori's biting tone.

"Excuse me?"

"Why weren't you watching her? You're the one who wanders around with nothing better to do. You should have offered to help." Lori said. Ava almost laughed at how ridiculous her accusations were, but she knew she had made her mad with their last conversation. "And why are you with my son. I thought I told you to stay away from him?"

"Lori, I don't think that's-"

"Stay out of this Dale." Lori said, heading down the steps and taking Carls' arm. Ava stared at her. The rest of the group exchanged confused looks. Even Carol and Daryl were watching. Great. Pretty much the whole gang.

"I asked Ava to help with the laundry." Carol told Lori, having heard much of the conversation. "And why can't she be around Carl?"

"Yeah, seems to me she's been his mother more than you have." Andrea said, glaring at her. Ava winced, biting her tongue. There was no way that was going to go down well.

"How dare you? Lecturing me about anything after what you did!"

"Er, I think we need to calm down-" Glenn tried, but Lori ignored him, turning to Carl.

"Carl, baby, I want you to listen to me. I want you stay away from Ava, alright?"

Ava folded her arms and shook her head, seething.

"Why?" He said, frowning.

"Well, because…because she's not a good person, okay? She's done some very bad things and I don't want you hanging around her."

Ava lost it. She'd tried so hard to be civil, to put Carl and Rick and the rest of the group before her feelings but she couldn't do it anymore.

"Oh, that's rich coming from you." She said, her tone biting. She regretted it immediately, but they'd opened the can of worms. There was no turning back.

Lori pushed Carl behind her and stepped towards Ava, scowling.

"Is there something you want to say to me?" She said.

"Yes, as a matter of fact." Ava said, trying to keep as calm as possible. "I would appreciate it if you would stop treating me like I was a villain. I've tried to be civil, the least you could do is the same."

"You expect me to be civil after everything you've done?" Lori exclaimed.

"What have I done?" Ava said, throwing her arms wide in shock.

"You slept with my husband."

The silence after that was deafening. Ava didn't turn away from the woman who stared at her with such disdain, her spine prickling with the number of people who had heard what she had said. Not only the group, but she'd said it in front of Carl.

Ava didn't care then. She didn't care what anyone heard. She was done being polite.

"Oh, you're throwing that in my face?" She said, marching up to Lori, jaw taught with rage. "I love how that makes me a villain, yet you can mess around with Shane for weeks, can sleep with him even with Rick back, even after all the times you begged him to give you another chance." Ava glared into Lori's eyes. Everyone watched in silence. "What Rick and I did was the result of way too much whisky, so get off your high horse. You are just as guilty as me, if not more so."

Lori drew back her hand and slapped Ava across the face, the sting of it making her eyes water. Her head snapped to the side, but her balance was top notch. She barely swayed, turning her head back to glare at Lori. She wanted to hit her, she ached to. But Carl was behind her. Everyone was watching. She had to be the better person.

"What the hell is going on?"

Everyone turned to see Rick, Shane and Randal, bloodied and bruised and staring at the exchange. Ava shared a look with Rick and sighed.


	57. Judge, jury, executioner: Part 1

S2E11P1

Ava winced as another scream echoed from the barn. Once again it was home to the enemy, though for Ava it wasn't so easily black and white. Sure, with the walkers there was no doubt. Now there was a human being in there, a kid.

Ava poked the fire with a stick, stoking the low flames that were boiling water for tea. Her mind was elsewhere, distracted by the argument that had happened hours before. As soon as the fight broke up, Rick, Shane and Daryl got to securing Randall in the barn and Lori took Carl and went into the house. No one had really said anything since, not a word on the argument or what it had revealed. Everything was out in the air. Well, almost everything. There was one secret yet to be revealed and Ava was determined to tell Rick that day. He'd want to know about the argument anyway.

Ava looked up as Dale exited the RV, he met her eye, smiled reassuringly, then climbed the RV to switch with Andrea. The water was boiling and Ava ladled some into her mug. Andrea came over, sighing as she sat opposite Ava.

"Tea?"

"Sure, thanks." Andrea said, and Ava poured her a cup. They blowed on the beverage for a while.

"So…"

Ava sighed, rubbing her head.

"I know. That was intense."

"Well overdue, though." Andrea said, and Ava looked up in surprise. Andrea smirked. "Someone needed to knock that woman off of her high horse. I'm glad it was you."

Ava grinned and shook her head, looking up as Glenn came to join them with a basket of eggs. He sat it beside the fire and looked awkwardly between the fire and Ava.

"Tea?"

He nodded and sat beside her, accepting the mug when she handed it to him. He took a mouthful and immediately spat it out.

"Ah, hot!"

"Well, duh." Ava giggled. "It's just boiled."

Glenn nodded, pressing a hand to his mouth. Andrea cupped her mug and looked to Glenn.

"I was just saying it was about time someone called Lori out on her bullshit."

Glenn's lips twitched.

"Uh, yeah. I guess so." He paused, and Ava tried to smile, tried not to feel that their relationship was forever damaged. She turned away and took a sip of tea before Glenn spoke again. "I told you whisky was the devil."

"What?"

Glenn turned to her.

"When you got back that day? You were really hung-over and told me it was whisky. I told you it made you do stupid things – not that I'm saying what you and Rick…I mean that wasn't…"

"Relax, Glenn." Ava said, laughing. "It was pretty stupid."

With that, the three of them laughed harder than was perhaps necessary for such a stupid joke – was it even a joke? – but it was a relief to hear it, to know she hadn't ruined her friendship with the people in camp. Well, most of them anyway.

"I'm pretty sure we all knew about Shane and Lori." Andrea said when the giggles subsided. She looked to Glenn, who nodded solemnly.

"Didn't know it was still going on though." He muttered.

"Rick and I found them together not that long ago. Carl was with us."

Andrea tutted.

"I have to say," Glenn said, nudging Ava with his elbow. "I've been thinking for a while that there was something between you and Rick."

"You guys would be great together." Andrea said, smiling.

"Yeah. And maybe with everything out in the open, Lori and Shane will just get on with it and you and Rick can be together." Glenn smiled hopefully. Ava smiled back, nodding, though she doubted it would be that easy.

She looked up as Lori, Carol and Carl came out of the house. Ava swallowed, watching them, but while Lori ignored her, Carol smiled as they approached the campsite. Carl briefly looked at Ava, but tried to keep his eyes off of her. Her heart sank. She shouldn't have let Lori get to her like that and now Carl was hurt because of it. She'd try to talk to him at some point – if Lori allowed her the chance, which she doubted.

As she knelt down to get some water for tea, the sound of the barn doors banging drew their attention. Rick and Shane walked out, bruised from whatever had happened on their trip. They headed over to the camp.

"So, what you gonna do?" Lori asked, refusing to look up at either of them. "We'd all feel better if we knew the plan."

"Is there a plan?" Andrea said, standing.

"We gonna keep him here?" Glenn asked.

Rick turned to Shane, sighing. He'd changed since getting back, now wearing a jacket Ava hadn't seen before.

"We'll know soon enough." He said, then nodded behind the group who turned to see Daryl heading over. Ava stood as he approached the fire, folding her arms.

"Boy there's got a gang, 30 men. They have heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead. And our women, they're gonna – they're gonna wish they were." He said and Ava swallowed. It didn't take much of the imagination to figure what he meant and almost immediately she was back in that truck with the soldiers, trembling under their gazes, her mind racing to all the places she knew they wanted to take her. She shivered.

"What did you do?" Carol asked Daryl.

"Had a little chat." He said before walking off.

"No one goes near this guy." Rick said resolutely.

"What are you gonna do?" Lori asked, standing and fixing him with a stony look. He frowned.

"We have no choice. He's a threat. We have to eliminate the threat."

Ava blanched and looked down, missing his gaze as he turned to her. He didn't miss the look on her face though as she chewed her lip and sighed.

"You're just gonna kill him?" Dale said, shocked.

"It's settled." Rick said, clenching his jaw as he turned away from Ava. "I'll do it today."

He swallowed again, and Ava looked up as he turned back towards the house. Lori watched him, expression unreadable for a moment, then stormed off in the direction Shane went. Carl looked between his parents but didn't move.

"Hey, bud." Ava said, touching his shoulder, but he shook off her hand and ran into the RV. Hurt, Ava stood alone for a moment before turning back to Rick, who was being pursued by Dale. She gritted her teeth and ran after them.

"You can't do this." She heard Dale say as she got closer. "You don't wanna do this. I know you don't."

"I thought about it all night. Knowing what we know now, I don't see a way out of it." Rick said, rubbing his face.

"But you can't just decide on your own to take someone's life."

"The group seemed supportive." Rick argued.

"What, because they didn't speak back? You didn't let 'em."

Rick stopped, sighing, and rubbed his face again. As he turned to Dale he spotted Ava coming to join them.

"There's gotta be a process."

"And what would that be?" Rick said, turning back to Dale. "We can't call witnesses, go before a judge."

"So he's automatically guilty by association and sentenced to death?" Dale said, staring at Rick with wide eyes. "He's just a kid. Give me some time to talk to everyone...try to figure out another way-"

"No, we can't drag this out!" Rick said, getting closer to Dale. Ava rubbed her neck, twisting a strand of loose hair between her fingers. "People are scared."

"Which is why they need time to discuss this." Dale argued.

"No, no, no, they need to be safe. I owe 'em that." Rick growled, heading off towards the house again. Ava followed.

"You think about your son!" Dale growled, stopping Rick. Ava didn't stop this time until she was beside the two men. "The message that you're giving him. Shoot first, think later. I'm asking for one day to talk to everybody."

Dale looked between Rick and Ava, Rick between Ava and Dale. She said nothing, her expression saying well enough what she thought of the situation.

"You can give me that." Dale said. "Think about Carl."

"I am." Rick said, breathing hard as he thought about what Dale had said. Then he sighed. "We reconvene at sunset, then what happens, happens."

Rick looked past Dale to Ava, who nodded and followed him as he headed towards the house.


	58. Judge, jury, executioner: Part 2

S2E11P2

The sky rumbled, clouds darkening ominously as if a rain were coming as the two moved towards a tree near the back of the Greene farm.

There they stopped and stared at one another. Ava smiled weakly.

"Long day, huh."

Rick snorted.

"Yeah. Yeah, long day." He rubbed his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. "What do you think about all this? About Randall?"

"I didn't see him today on the run, but from what I've seen of him he's a scared kid. On the other hand, he could just be a good actor trying not to get killed." She sighed, folding her arms. "I don't know. I need to think about it."

Rick chuckled.

"Sounds like I was right to give Dale that time."

"He's a good man." Ava said, smiling. "Perhaps too good for this world. But anyway. As much as this situation is pertinent, I think there's something else we need to talk about."

"Like what happened in camp while we were gone?" Rick said.

"Among other things."

Ava moved to the tree, leaning against the trunk and sighed as Rick moved to stand in front of her. He put his hands on his hips and waited.

"What happened on the road?" She said after a while, eying the split lip and bruises he was sporting.

"Shane and I had a…disagreement."

"Did it involve Randall?"

Rick shrugged.

"Sort of."

"Ah," Ava said, nodding with a false smile on her lips. "Let me guess. The disagreement was because of Randall but not because of anything he did? Shane wanted to kill him?"

"Turns out Randall knew Maggie. They went to school together, so he could know where the farm is."

Ava nodded, sighing. She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked past the house and down to the farm. It was hard to imagine that boy and Maggie in a classroom together. Innocent times long lost.

"It was resolved, anyway." Rick said, drawing her attention back to him. "Now you gonna tell me what happened here?"

Ava expelled the air from her lungs in a long raspberry and looked Rick dead in the eye.

"I let Lori get to me." She said, shrugging. "She'd been treating me like shit, telling Carl I was a bad person. I'd had enough. Then she blurted out to everyone here that we'd slept together."

Rick's jaw fell, his face going slack as he stepped back and rubbed his face harshly. Ava swallowed.

"I'm sorry Rick. I wasn't exactly the mature one, but I also may have confirmed to the group that she and Shane were sleeping together as well."

Rick looked at her in shock.

"I'm not proud of it, but at least it's all out there now. No more secrets…" She trailed off, almost saying 'almost'. Rick moved to her side and cupped the back of her arm with his hand.

"Heat of the moment, right?"

Ava nodded. His jaw clenched as he looked past her to the camp.

"I don't blame you, Ava. This is my fault. This should have all been made clear weeks ago."

"Rick-"

"I have to go." He moved past her, storming towards the camp.

"Rick, where are you going?" Ava said, following his long-legged gait with an awkward slow jog.

"Making things clear. Lori needs to know the truth and so does Carl. He deserves that and more."

"Rick, stop." Ava said, biting her lip as her stomach twinged from the awkward speed.

"Ava, I have to."

"And I have to talk to you, Rick."

He stopped, turning at her harsh tone and frowning. She massaged her stomach, grabbing her hip and rolling her fingers into her flesh near the pelvis.

"I've needed to talk to you for a while but there's never time, so I'm telling you now and you're going to listen." She said, cocking a brow at him and waiting as he slowly returned to her side. His brows were furrowed as he looked down at her, confused and more than a little wary, though it was by far nothing compared to what Ava was feeling. Her heart jumped to the base of her throat, her stomach clenched and jumped all about and her blood seemed to have pooled in her boots. She swallowed.

"Ava, what's going on?"

She bit her lip.

"I found something behind the house last week. Something that I'm assuming Glenn picked up for someone else."

"What was it?"

"A pregnancy test."

Rick's confusion melted into disbelief and shock, his bright blue eyes wide as they stared at her.

"Someone's pregnant?" He said, putting his hands over his mouth.

"No. Well…" Ava sighed again, swallowing to wet her incredibly dry mouth. "There were two tests. The used one was negative but there was also an unused one…"

Rick continued to stare at her. She could already see the cogs turning, the realisation dawning.

"Unused?" Rick said.

"Well, not anymore. I took that test, Rick."

She swallowed again, blinking back tears.

"It was positive."


	59. Judge, jury, executioner: Part 3

S2E11P3

Rick stared at her, blinking rapidly as he stumbled backwards. She reached forward and took his arm, steadying him as he swayed and stared blankly into the distance.

"Rick?"

He lowered his head to look at her.

"You're pregnant?" He mumbled, brow crinkling in disbelief. Ava fought back tears and nodded, not trusting her voice not to crack. Rick swallowed, running his fingers through his hair and cradling his head. She moved back a bit, giving him space and silence as he composed himself. Eventually he looked up and she saw him in his eyes, instead of the blank slate he became out of shock.

"How long have you known?"

"About a week." Ava shrugged. "I kept meaning to tell you but…I guess I was being a coward. I didn't know what to do."

Rick looked at her.

"What do you want to do?"

Ava looked up in shock.

"Keep it, of course. Though I don't know how we'll manage or what's going to happen with Carl and Lori. And the walkers? What if they hear it and it puts us all in danger?"

Realising that she was spouting out reasons not to have the baby, she snapped her mouth shut and hugged herself tight. Rick moved to her side and grasped her shoulders, his thumbs rubbing comforting circles above her collar bone.

"Hey, enough of that." He said, managing to sound soothing despite everything. "We'll figure it out. I promise."

Ava looked up at him, blinking back tears, and found she no longer cared who saw them together. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him close, pressing her lips to his for a single, short kiss.

Rick lowered his arms, his hands finding her hips before grazing across her stomach.

"How far gone are you?" He said, staring at the flat expanse of her dirty shirt. Ava smiled.

"Well, there's only one option for conception date, not that I remember how long ago that was."

"We've been on this farm for about a month and it was a few weeks before that…" Rick murmured, looking back up at her. His eyes were warm and glowed the way they had that night in the basement. She'd thought it was the alcohol that had done that, but now she wondered if it was the look of pure happiness and wondered if he saw a similar glow in her.

"About six weeks?"

"Sounds about right." Rick said, his brow twitching into a slight frown. "Is that where the sickness was coming from?"

Ava nodded and Rick chuckled.

"How did I miss that?"

"I'd had an infection to explain that away. Besides, you had other things to worry about."

"Like Carl nearly dying." Rick said, nodding.

"And finding Sophia."

"The walkers in the barn."

"And what Shane did to it – basically just Shane, really."

Rick snorted and Ava chuckled, the two standing as one for a while. Eventually, wind tugging at her clothes, Ava shivered and Rick stepped away.

"You should get inside or back to camp." He said, lightly touching the small of her back. "I need to have a word with my ex."

Ava couldn't help grinning at the term, though as Rick moved away she thought of Carl and instantly regretted the situation he had been put into. She headed towards the house as Rick has suggested, turning back once to see him heading towards the barn. As she reached the porch steps she noticed Carl kneeling in front of the graves dug for Sophia and Hershel's family.

Thinking of that little girl made her eyes hurt and she blinked back tears as she headed over to him, noticing Carol joining him as she did.

"You know, we'll see Sophia again in heaven some day." She heard Carol say. Carl was silent, staring down at his hands. "She's in a better place."

"No, she's not." Carl said, standing and looking Carol with narrowed eyes. "Heaven is just another lie, and if you believe it, you're an idiot."

"Carl!" Ava yelled, running over to them as he ran off. She scowled after the little boy and stopped at Carol's side, touching her arm gently. "You okay?"

She shook Ava off and turned, seeing Rick and Lori heading down from the barn. As she marched off towards them Ava turned back to Carl, deciding she'd rather go after him than face Lori right now.

"Carl!"

He ignored her, but he was walking through the trees now and she quickly caught up.

"Hey, what the hell was that back there?" She said, moving to stand in front of him.

"You're not my mum. Stop pretending to be." He grumbled, looking at the ground. Ava grabbed his hat and pulled it off, forcing him to look up at her.

"I may not be your mother but that doesn't mean I'm going to stand by while you talk to people like that."

Carl pouted.

"Carl," Ava looked up as Rick headed towards them, frowning at his son. "Come over here."

The boy turned to his father, who stopped beside Ava.

"Did you talk back to Carol?"

"No." Carl said and even though Ava knew that was a lie, she said nothing.

"She says you did." Rick said, looking sternly at Carl. "You can't talk back to people like that."

"I said it's stupid to believe in heaven." Carl said. "'Cause it is."

Rick nodded, looking up at Ava for a moment.

"Well, just think about that for a minute." Rick said. "She just lost her daughter. She wants to believe she's still alive in some way."

"But she-"

"Don't…don't talk. Think. It's a good rule of thumb for life."

"Mum always wants you to talk more." Carl retorted.

"Don't change the subject. You and I are going to talk about your mum soon enough, but for now you owe Carol an apology. You made a mistake. Fix it."

Rick started to walk off, followed by Ava after she plonked the hat back on Carls' head.

"Is that why you're gonna kill that guy? Fixing your mistake?" Carl said.

Rick turned back and looked upon his son, swallowing.

"That's different."

"How are you gonna do it?" Carl pressed. "Are you gonna hang him in the barn?"

"You just think about how you're gonna make things right with Carol. Don't talk. Think." Rick said, putting a hand on Carls' shoulder. "You got it?"

"Yeah." The boy said, nodding.

"Good."

Then Rick turned to walk away, squeezing Ava's shoulder as he did. Carl looked at her and said the same thing he had not so long ago.

"I'm not stupid, you know."

Ava nodded sadly.

"I know, kid. I know."


	60. Judge, jury, executioner: Part 4

S2E11P4

Ava returned to the house, her mood dampened by the possibly irrevocable damage done to the relationship between her and Carl. She rubbed her stomach as it growled and went to the kitchen, grabbing a few things to eat before sitting at the table and chowing down. She wondered about Randall, about the fate Rick had in store for him, and she wondered if it was right.

At the moment she could ignore it, but once it was done there was nothing she could do to bring him back. Should they try to save him? Was Dale right? Was she only not arguing for the sake of easing Ricks' conscience? If that was so, then it was wrong. He'd want her true opinion and she should give it.

She startled when footsteps sounded behind her, turning to see Glenn heading into the next room. Ava heard murmured voices before he and Hershel came back out again.

"Where's your family from?" Hershel asked. Glenn turned, scratching his shoulder.

"Michigan. But, uh, before that, Korea."

Hershel nodded.

"Immigrants built this country. Never forget that. Our family came from Ireland."

Glenn chuckled, looking down.

"Maggie Greene." He said. "I kinda figured."

Hershel reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver pocket watch. Ava stared at it, marvelling at the trinket and smiling as Hershel noticed her in the next room. He smiled and nodded, before turning back to Glenn.

"My grandfather brought this over from the old country. He passed it on to my father, who passed it on to me. I pawned it to pay for a night of drinking I no longer remember."

"You bought it back." Glenn said, smiling.

"My late wife did: Josephine, Maggie's mother. She gave it back years later when I sobered up." Hershel smiled sadly at the watch. "She was a good woman, my Jo. Maggie's a lot like her."

There was silence as Hershel teared up, and Glenn nodded solemnly.

"When we were in that bar and afterwards, I thought about a lot of things. You become a father someday, you'll understand. No man is good enough for your little girl... until one is."

Hershel stared at Glenn for a moment longer, then held out the pocket watch.

"Go on now," Hershel said as Glenn stared at him, mouth parting in disbelief. "Before I change my mind about you."

Glenn took the watch and Hershel dropped the chain.

"Thanks." Glenn said softly, looking up at Hershel, who smiled back. Ava smiled as Glenn noticed her sitting there. He came over and grinned, surprised but gleeful as he sat opposite her at the table.

"Congrats, lover-boy."

Glenn rolled his eyes at her.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Glenn looked up at Ava and seemed to take a moment to consider his words.

"I wish it could be that easy for you."

"What do you mean?" Ava said, frowning.

"Well, there aren't exactly divorce lawyers around here."

Ava snorted.

"I don't think it's going to be anything that formal. If life is kind, Lori will accept it and be with Shane. Not that life's ever that kind." She sighed.

They looked up as footsteps began to file into the house. It was then that Ava noticed how dark it had gotten and that now was the time to make a decision. Glenn and Ave stood, moving towards the living room. Dale spotted Ava as they entered and made a bee-line for her.

"Ava." He said, smiling hopefully. "You can't agree with this, not you."

Ava sighed.

"Of course I don't Dale, but… but what else can we do?"

Dale stared at her in such disbelief and shock that it physically hurt her to have upset him so, but before she could say anything else, others filed in. Dale leaned against the doorway beside the piano and Glenn and Ava sat down on the bench.

Rick and Lori looked at Carl, who stood behind them defiantly before giving up and running further into the house.

"So how do we do this?" Glenn said. "Just take a vote?"

"Does it have to be unanimous?" Andrea sighed.

"How about majority rules?" Lori suggested.

"Well, let's," Rick pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let's just see where everybody stands, then we can talk through the options."

"Well, where I sit, there's only one way to move forward." Shane said from his position by the fireplace. Ava wasn't surprised by his position and leant her elbows on her thighs, her chin in her hands as she frowned over the situation.

"Killing him, right?" Dale said, accusingly. "I mean, why even bother to take a vote? It's clear which way the wind's blowing."

"Well, if people believe we should spare him, I wanna know." Rick said

"Well, I can tell you it's a small group. Maybe just me and Glenn."

Ava sighed, rubbing her hands together. Glenn looked sheepishly at Dale, who eventually caught his eye, his expression dropping.

"Look, I…I think you're pretty much right about everything, all the time, but this-"

"They've got you scared." Dale exclaimed.

"He's not one of us." Glenn pointed out. Ava said nothing, though she considered that she hadn't been one of them until they'd accepted her in. "And we've lost too many people already."

Dale was breathing hard, shocked by these turn of events and turned to Maggie, who stood at the other end of the room. "How about you? Do you agree with this?"

"Couldn't we continue keeping him prisoner?" Maggie suggested.

"Just another mouth to feed." Daryl murmured.

"It may be a lean winter." Hershel warned.

"We could ration better." Lori said.

"Well, he could be an asset." Dale said. "Give him a chance to prove himself."

"Put him to work?" Glenn said.

"We're not letting him walk around." Rick said firmly. Remembering what Daryl had said about his people, Ava was liable to agree with him there.

"We could put an escort on him." Maggie suggested.

"Who wants to volunteer for that duty?" Shane snorted.

"I will." Dale growled.

Rick stepped forward.

"I don't think any of us should be walking around with this guy."

"He's right." Lori said. "I wouldn't feel safe unless he was tied up."

"We can't exactly put chains around his ankles, sentence him to hard labour." Andrea pointed out.

"Look, say we let him join us, right?" Shane started. "Maybe he's helpful, maybe he's nice. We let our guard down and maybe he runs off, brings back his 30 men."

"So the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt?" Dale said, incredulous. Ava sighed and rubbed her head. Her stomach churned and she was beginning to regret eating before this discussion. "If we do this, we're saying there's no hope. Rule of law is dead. There is no civilization."

Shane rolled his eyes.

"Oh, my God."

"Could you drive him further out?" Hershel said. "Leave him like you planned?"

"You barely came back this time." Lori warned Rick. "There are walkers. You could break down. You could get lost. Or get ambushed."

"That's always been a possibility, every time we've been out there. Hell, I've had to kill in self-defence before." Ava said, realising moments afterwards that that was the first time she'd admitted to the group that she'd killed someone.

"So you know it's necessary to do this?" Shane said. Ava struggled to find the words and ran a hand through her hair.

"I don't know, okay? It's different when you've got a gun or a knife to your head, or someone's chasing you. It's spur of the moment." She looked up at Rick. "But this? I honestly don't know. If we'd made this decision fuelled by adrenaline, walkers closing in on us, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. But now…this is pre-meditated."

"You think we should have left him there?" Rick said, staring at her.

"Of course not, but…" She trailed off, throwing her hands in the air. "I just don't know."

"Yes you do." Dale said. "It's wrong. You just said it. When it's kill or be killed, you can act in self-defence. That's always been the law."

"It's kill or be killed now." Shane argued.

"If you go through with it, how would you do it?" Patricia said, changing the subject. "Would he suffer?"

Rick swallowed.

"We could hang him, right?" Shane said. "Just snap his neck."

Ava swallowed thinking of all those hanging scenes in films and tv, or on the news happening in other countries. What would it be like to see it for real? She shivered.

"I thought about that." Rick said. "Shooting may be more humane."

"And what about the body?" T-Dog said, rubbing his chin. "Do we bury him?"

"Hold on, hold on!" Dale yelled across them. "You're talking about this like it's already decided."

"You've been talking all day," Daryl said, stepping forward. "Going around in circles. You just wanna go around in circles again?"

"He's got a point." Ava muttered. God knows how many times she and Rick had gone in circles talking about their own feelings.

"This is a young man's life, and it is worth more than a five-minute conversation!" Ava jumped when Dale yelled. "Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him?" Dale turned to Rick. "You saved him and now look at us. He's been tortured. He's gonna be executed."

Rick pursed his lips and looked down.

"How are we any better than those people that we're so afraid of?"

Silence followed, pregnant with grief and despair.

"We all know what needs to be done." Shane said.

"No, Dale is right." Rick said. "We can't leave any stone unturned here. We have a responsibility-"

"So what's the other solution?" Andrea said. "We haven't come up with a single viable option yet. I wish we could-"

"So let's work on it!" Dale said, frustrated.

"We are." Rick said.

"Stop it." Carol said from the doorway. "Just stop it. I'm sick of everybody arguing and fighting. I didn't ask for this. You can't ask us to decide something like this. Please decide – either of you, both of you – but leave me out."

"Not speaking out or killing him yourself: there's no difference." Dale said.

"Alright, that's enough." Rick said, holding his hand up as silence fell. "Anybody who wants the floor before we make a final decision has the chance."

Ava swallowed, trying to think of anything, then stood. Rick turned to her as well as every other pair of eyes in the room.

"When you found me, I was ready to kill you." She said, rubbing her neck. "I would have, if you hadn't taken me off guard dressed like you were on your way to work. If you hadn't disarmed yourself and shown me kindness. I knew you were a good man. It made me trust you and eventually you trusted me. I wouldn't be a part of this group if you hadn't given me that chance. Now tell me, would you do the same thing now?"

Rick frowned, shifting so he faced her completely.

"If you had seen someone like me on the road on your way back to the farm today, would you have stopped to offer me help? Would you have done what you did before?"

Rick said nothing, clenching his jaw and looking away.

"That's different." Shane said.

"It's only different because when we met, you'd only had a few days exposure to the new world. You were still the Sheriff, the good man who didn't leave people behind, who gave guns to good people despite needing them yourself."

Ava swallowed, seeing the tears well up in Ricks' eyes.

"There are two options here: one is easy, one is right. Neither is both. All day I've been trying to convince myself that the easy option is the safest one, and maybe it is. But it isn't the Human one. It isn't what good people do. Now we have to decide which path to take: the easy one or the right one."

Ava swallowed hard, blinking as a tear fell down her cheek.

"You once said that we don't kill the living." Dale said after a few seconds of silence.

"Well, that was before the living tried to kill us."

"But don't you see? If we do this, the people that we were, the world that we knew is dead. And this new world is ugly. It's... harsh. It's survival of the fittest. And that's a world I don't wanna live in, and I don't believe that any of you do. I can't. Please." Dale said, his voice trembling. "Like Ava said, what's easy here is wrong. Let's just do what's right. Isn't there anybody else who's gonna stand with me?"

Carol started crying, covering her face with her hands and Ava fell against the wall and tried not to cry. She couldn't meet Ricks' eye, not now.

"He's right." Andrea said. Ava and Dale turned to her. "We should try to find another way."

"Anybody else?" Rick said, looking around the room but nobody spoke up. Rick turned to Dale and sighed, shrugging. Ava closed her eyes, tears falling down her face and she covered her mouth with a trembling hand.

"Are y'all gonna watch, too?" Dale said, trying not to cry. "No, you'll go hide your heads in your tents and try to forget that we're slaughtering a human being." He sighed, shaking his head. "I won't be a party to it."

He walked through the room and ignored Rick as he tried to stop him. He stopped instead beside Daryl and put a hand on his shoulder.

"This group is broken." He said to him before moving off.

Ava wiped her eyes and pushed away from the wall.

"Dale." She said, heading after him. She didn't look at Rick. She couldn't in that moment, though she accepted his decision and it changed nothing about them. They'd talk later. For now she needed to comfort Dale.


	61. Judge, jury, executioner: Part 5

S2E11P5

Rick, Daryl and Shane took Randall back to the barn. The sky had turned black and Ava and Dale were nowhere to be seen. Rick tried not to dwell on it. He also tried not to think about what she had said and how she was right. If he had seen Ava today on the side of the road, he would have driven straight past her. If he'd done that on day one, he never would have fallen in love with her and he wouldn't have a child on the way.

That in itself still struck him dumb whenever he thought of it, like he couldn't quite place it as reality. He swallowed as they entered the barn, Randall whimpering and protesting the whole time.

"Put him there." Rick said, gesturing to the middle of the barn.

"Oh, hey!" The kid said, breathing hard.

"It's all gonna be over soon." Shane said as he pulled a blindfold over his face.

"What? What's gonna be over soon?"

"Relax."

"Hey. No, no, no, no." Randall continued to weep and Shane shushed him but it was no good. Rick looked on the man who had tried to kill them and forced away any thought of regret or grief, trying not to hear the boys' sobs.

"Would you like to stand or kneel?" he said, shivering at his own emotionless voice. He was glad Ava wasn't here to see this.

"Oh, no, please. Ple-" Shane kicked his leg and he fell to his knees, panting.

Rick looked up, struggling to hold his reserve as Randall cried piteously. He met Shane's eye and he nodded in encouragement.

"Do you have any final words?" Rick said.

"No, please. Please don't." Randall said. "Don't."

Rick raised the gun and put the barrel to his head, cocking back the hammer. The sound it made set Randall off more, his breathing close to hyperventilating. Rick told himself it was necessary to protect Carl, to protect Ava and their unborn child. He told himself he had to do it. Do it.

"Do it, dad."

Rick looked towards the doorway, seeing Carl standing there, staring unfeelingly at Randall. "Do it."

Rick looked back at Randall, following Shane in his periphery as he stormed around to the barn door.

"Are you kidding me?" He said. "What'd I say to you? What did I say to you?"

Rick struggled, looking between Carl and Randall and realising Randall could so easily be Carl in a few years time. He was going to kill someones' son. He couldn't do it.

"Take him away." Rick said, looking over at Shane and Carl. "Take him away."

"Get up." Daryl said, obliging Rick and dragging the kid away. Rick stared at his son, who looked back, confused by these turn of events. Shane shook his head and stormed out.

Rick and Carl headed back to camp, where Andrea, Carol, Glenn and Maggie waited. Lori looked between Carl and Rick in shock and Rick felt a wave of anger towards his ex-wife for letting Carl out of her sight.

"We're keeping him in custody, for now." Rick said.

"I'm gonna find Dale and Ava." Andrea said, standing with a smile on her face. Rick wanted to do the same, but he didn't know if Ava would want to see him right now.

"Dale?"

Dale turned to look at Ava as they wandered in the dark. Ava kept her hand on her dagger just to be safe and stumbled as they past the burnt bodies. Dale reached out to steady her.

"You backed me up." He said once she was upright. He patted her on the shoulder. "I knew you wouldn't sit by and let that happen. You're a good person."

"Didn't you hear what I said?" Ava said, folding her arms against the cold. "I've killed before."

"In self-defence. Even before the dead walked that was understandable."

Ava smiled shortly, looking back at the house and wondering if Randall was already dead. The thought turned her blood cold.

She looked back when distressed mooing echoed across the field. Dale glanced at her, the two exchanging a look as best they could in the darkness, and Dale pulled his rifle free as they moved through the grass.

Soon they came across a cow in the grass, bleeding and half-dead, Ava fell to its side and frowned at the wounds, eyes growing wide when she realised what it was.

She turned in time to hear Dale scream and screamed herself as the two – Dale and a walker – fell on top of her. She screamed as the wound in her leg was twisted an unnatural way, her knees burning in agony. Dale screamed above her as he tried to hold the walker off and Ava tried to help with her one free hand, but her knife was on the wrong side and she didn't carry her gun unless they she left camp. She tried to reach under Dale for the dagger but couldn't reach it.

"Dale!" Ava yelled, trying to do anything but able to do nothing. She was completely pinned beneath them. He screamed in agony and Ava felt warm, wet blood pooling across her chest and neck, so hot after the biting cold wind.

Seconds later, the weight was lessened as Daryl grabbed the walker and pulled it from Dale, stabbing it clean in the head. Ava cried out as she tried to pull herself from beneath Dale, sobbing as blood pooled in the hollow of her throat.

"Ava!" Daryl said, moving to her side and gently lifting Dale so he could help slide her out from beneath him. She collapsed against his side, legs aching, hearth hammering, and looked down on Dale.

"Help! Over here!" Daryl yelled, having sat Ava up he was now jumping to attract the attention of the others.

"Hang in there, buddy." Daryl said to Dale. Ava took the older man's hand and sobbed, unable to do anything, helpless yet again.

"Who is it?" Andrea yelled as they all came closer.

"Oh, my God." Rick said, falling to his knees beside Ava and Dale. He looked at her and she nodded dumbly. Assessing that she wasn't injured, he turned to Dale.

"Alright, just listen to my voice." He said. "Listen to me, all right? Just listen to me. Okay, hold on now."

Andrea knelt down on the other side, staring in shock at Dales' stomach. It was a crater, ripped apart by the walker.

"Get Hershel!" Rick yelled. "He needs blood. We gotta operate now."

"Hang on, Dale." Andrea said. "Hang on."

Glenn and Lori joined them on the scene, but Ava paid them no attention, just holding Dales hand and squeezing it gently.

"I'm sorry." She said, sobbing. "I should have done something, I should have saved you."

"Hershel! We need Hershel!" Rick yelled again. Everyone was sobbing and begging Dale to hold on. Ava cried and blinked at the blood soaking through her clothes.

"What happened?"

Ava looked up at the sound of Hershels' voice and Rick moved aside as he knelt down.

"What can we do?" Rick said, his voice thick with tears. "Can we move him?"

"He won't make the trip."

"You have to do the operation here. Glenn, get back to the house." Rick yelled, standing, but Hershel grabbed his arm and shook his head.

"No!" Rick yelled, spinning and rubbing his face. Andrea sobbed on Dale's other side and Ava was struggling to breathe.

"Oh, God." Andrea sobbed. Rick knelt down beside him, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Dale writhed in agony from the wound.

"He's suffering." Andrea said and Rick stood once more. "Do something!"

Rick pulled his gun free and sniffed, pointing the barrel at Dale's head.

"Come on." He muttered to himself, his hand shaking.

"Oh, God." Andrea said, looking away. Rick shook, sniffing, fighting back tears, but Daryl reached out and took the gun. Rick sighed and moved back, shaking. He moved to Ava's side and pulled her back against him, wrapping his arms around her chest and pulling her a little away from Dale, but not enough that her hand let go of his.

Daryl crouched where Andrea had been and put the barrel to Dale's head. He moved ever so slightly towards it, accepting this mercy.

"Sorry, brother." Daryl said, then he pulled the trigger. 


	62. Better angels: Part 1

S2E12P1

Ava stared at the fire, tears streaming down her face in silent beads, salty water mixing with the blood staining her skin. She could still hear Dale's screams, the agony in his voice as that walker had ripped him apart. She'd done nothing. She'd been trapped and useless. It was beginning to sound like the story of her life.

Fuming, she balled her hands into fists, itching to throw something, hit something, anything. Rick came over to her and stood for a moment at her side. They both stared at the fire for a while, then he sighed and sat beside her. He put a bowl on the ground between them and wrung out a flannel.

"I couldn't save him."

"I know you couldn't. There was nothing you could have done." Rick said, pulling the edges of her blanket aside to reveal the extent of her bloodied skin. He didn't comment on the state of her clothes or the need to replace them. He simply began gently sponging the blood from her neck and chest.

"I don't know what we do now." Ava said, sniffing. "Or what I do now. I'm useless. Anyone I've needed to save I've failed. First Sophia, now Dale-"

"Hey." Rick dropped the flannel into the bowl and pinched her chin, moving her head so she had to look at him. His eyes were red with grief and weary, but they glowed with the intensity she loved to see: the power of his hope and trust. "None of this is your fault. You're bound to be in shock. Hershel said to give you time but I know you, Ava. I give you time to wallow in these guilty thoughts you'll never get rid of them. So I'm telling you now: this is not your fault."

Ava swallowed, blinking back tears, and nodded. Rick picked up the flannel.

"We'll get you cleaned up but then you need to eat. You need to keep your strength up for the baby."

She nodded again, sighing as she raked a trembling hand through her hair. She watched Rick at his work for a while and only spoke again as he was finishing up.

"It doesn't change anything, you know. What you did to Randall, I mean."

Rick looked up.

"I know I sided with Dale and spoke against your decision and I know you decided to kill him anyway, but it doesn't change anything about us. I just want you to know that."

Rick lightly scoffed, a subdued smile curling his lips though it quickly faltered.

"I didn't kill Randall."

Ava's eyes widened.

"Carl was there. He told me to do it, wanted to watch." Rick swallowed and Ava took his hand. "I couldn't do it. I realised you were right: we were doing the easy thing. I can't be teaching Carl to do that too. He needs to learn to do what's right no matter how hard it is."

"That's a good lesson, Rick. Carl's a good kid, he's just got to adjust to all this. It'll take time."

Rick nodded, kissing the back of her hand and smiling.

"Come on. Let's go get you cleaned up."

Ava nodded and stood, leaning on Rick for support as her legs shook after the ordeal. The fresh scar tissue on her leg burned with each step, but there was no blood to indicate she had re-opened the wound. It was just sore.

"Rick?" Ava said as they approached the house. "How would you feel about telling people I'm pregnant?"

They stopped and he turned to her.

"You want to tell everyone?"

"Well, maybe not everyone, but certainly some people. I don't like keeping secrets and this is something that is going to affect everyone."

Rick nodded, rubbing his chin and frowning at the ground the way people do when they're really looking within.

"Who were you planning on telling?"

Ava shrugged.

"Glenn. Andrea. Maybe Maggie and I suppose Hershel as well, since he's the closest thing we have to a doctor?"

Rick nodded.

"Alright. You do that. Maybe in a few days we can tell the rest of the group too."

Ava nodded as they resumed their pace towards the house.

"Sounds like a plan."

The next day, Ava slept in either from the stress of the ordeal or the fact that sleep was something she needed more of as a pregnant woman. She'd fallen asleep on the sofa in Hershel's home and someone had put a blanket over her, which she put over the back of the sofa when she stood.

Maggie had given her some clothes that night – a lilac vest top and white linen button-up she was certain wouldn't stay white for long. She tied her hair back, raking some of the tangles out as she did, and left the house to join the others.

No one had wasted any time in digging a grave for Dale. It wouldn't have been right to make him lie uneasy any longer than necessary. Everyone gathered beside the graves, beside Sophia and Dale and Hershel's family. Everyone gathered to say goodbye.

It was Rick who stepped forward to give a eulogy, to speak of their fallen friend. It had been a while since Ava had lost anyone she'd considered a friend. She'd hardly known Sophia, though her death was tragic for a whole different reason, and anyone else lost she hadn't really known. Dale she had known and called a friend and in this time of grief she was beginning to miss her days roaming alone. At least then she didn't have to fear this pain.

"Dale could get under your skin." Rick said, looking down at the grave. "He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave."

Rick's voice broke when he said the word brave. Silent tears fell from almost every eye and Ava saw Carl crying as he looked down. She wished for him to look up so she could give him some comfort, but he didn't.

"Whenever I'd make a decision," Rick continued. "I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us. The truth... who we really are. In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honour him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives, our safety... our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honour Dale."

Ava looked down, knowing Dale would have been happy about this, that he'd have been glad something good came from his demise. She wiped the tears from her eyes and sighed as the funeral ended, sharing a look with Rick as they slowly trickled away from the graveyard.


	63. Better angels: Part 2

S2E12P2

"It'll be tight, 14 people in one house." Rick said as the group gathered around at camp. What with the break-in of walkers, Hershel had decided that they needed to move into the house – a break-through in their relationship. Ava was glad to see Hershel had warmed to them all.

"Don't worry about that." Hershel said. "With the swamp hardening, the creek drying up..."

"With 50 head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing a damn dinner bell." Maggie interrupted.

"She's right." Hershel said. "We should've moved you in a while ago."

Ava smiled at the old man, though any smile she gave was pinched by the fresh grief of losing Dale.

"Alright, let's move the vehicles near each of the doors facing out toward the road." Rick said, his tone turning authoritative. "We'll build a lookout in the windmill, another in the barn loft. That should give us sightlines on both sides of the property."

"Can I have my gun back?" Ava said, looking between Hershel and Rick. "It'll need a fresh mag. I used the last one up saving Randall."

Shane tutted at that but Ava ignored him. She'd seen the look on his face when Rick said they would honour Dale. He knew that meant not killing Randall. How could someone Rick knew as a friend become so bloodthirsty? She worried about him. Lori has ignored practically everyone in the four-way situation since Rick had made things clear. Ava couldn't understand her. If she didn't want Rick or Shane then what did she want? To make everyone's life a misery?

"Sure, you can have your gun back." Rick said, pulling her handgun from the bag along with a fresh mag and a spare. "I thought you didn't like to use guns?"

"I don't. But if I'd had my gun yesterday Dale wouldn't have died." She said stiffly. Rick didn't push her further on the topic.

"T-Dog," he said. "You take the perimeter around the house. Keep track of everyone coming and going."

"What about standing guard?"

"I need you and Daryl on double duty."

"Gotcha." T-Dog said before heading off, Shane watching with a frustrated look on his face. Ava discarded the empty mag and snapped the fresh one in, catching Shane's eye as she place it into her holster.

"I'll stock the basement with food and water," Hershel said, walking past with a large armful of boxes. "Enough that we can all survive there a few days If need be."

Ava thought to offer him help with the boxes then hesitated, wondering what weight allowance was alright for a pregnant woman to carry? Before she could fully realise she was being paranoid, Hershel was already gone.

"What about patrols?" Andrea said.

"Let's get this area locked down first." Rick said. "After that, Shane'll assign shifts while me and Daryl take Randall offsite and cut him loose."

Shane stared at him as he said it.

"We're back to that now?" He said.

"It was the right plan first time around. Poor execution."

"That's a slight understatement." Shane muttered.

"You don't agree," Rick said, stepping forward. "But this is what's happening. Swallow it. Move on."

"You know that Dale's death and the prisoner, that's two separate things, right? You wanna take Daryl as your wingman, be my guest."

"Thank you." Rick said, his tone verging on sarcastic as he turned and walked away.

They all grabbed bags, packing up the camp and trudged up towards the house. Ava walked between Rick and Hershel, trying to convince Rick she could carry one bag without fainting.

"I see why you're not taking Shane with you." Hershel said, cutting off the small argument. "Just know I've got no more patience where he's concerned."

"He's turning over a new leaf." Rick said. Ava didn't comment, wanting to allow Rick that hope of him getting better, but she doubted it herself. "Andrea." Rick called, stopping the blonde woman who was a little in front of them. "When I'm out with Daryl, help Hershel keep an eye on things around here."

"Me?" She said.

"You sound so surprised." Ava said, smirking. Andrea smiled back.

"Shane's got a way of letting things get out of hand, especially when he's all torqued up."

"I think we're all a bit torqued up at this point." Andrea muttered.

"If you're staying here permanently, he's got to understand that it's what Rick and I say, not whatever he wants." Hershel warned.

"You've become close." Rick said.

"We talk." Andrea said, stopping and looking between them.

" Then you know he's not a bad guy." Rick said. "He's just his own worst enemy."

"You want me to babysit Shane?" She said incredulously.

"I need to make sure every time I leave the farm all hell doesn't break loose."

"Then maybe you should stop leaving." She said before heading off. Rick looked down for a moment.

"Will you keep an eye on things?" He called after her.

"Of course."

They continued moving towards the house and yet again, Rick was determined to take the bag from Ava.

"Seriously Rick, if you keep up like this I may hit you."

He chuckled.

"I'm only trying to be a gentleman."

"No, you're being overprotective as always. I'm going to tell you right now I'm not spending the next nine months wrapped in cotton wool."

Rick stuttered, his eyes finding Hershel still walking beside them. The older man looked between them, shock barely showing on his face.

"I take it you're pregnant."

Ava swallowed and nodded.

"And you were planning on telling me this when?"

"Well, right now." Ava said, the three stopping a few metres from the house. "We haven't told anyone else yet and I thought since you're the closest thing to a doctor and our home-owner, I should tell you soon. I hope that's not a problem."

"Oh, it's a problem." Hershel said and Ava's blood ran cold. She felt Rick stiffen beside her. "But it's a problem we'll have to make do with."

Ava sagged and leaned back against Rick in relief.

"You didn't honestly think I'd force a pregnant woman out into the cold, did you?"

Ava shrugged.

"I have to admit it crossed my mind."

Hershel shook his head, turning towards the house again.

"We'll discuss this further when you've told the others." He said, a clear hint that he wanted everyone to know.

Rick and Ava watched him disappear into the house.

"You let that slip on purpose." He accused.

"Course I did. I figured it was most important he know since he's invited us to live in his home now. It went a lot better than I expected, though his isn't the worst reaction I'm anticipating."

Rick hummed in agreement, the two thinking of the same people who would cause the most issues. They looked at each other, apprehensive of what would come, and headed into the house.


	64. Better angels: Part 3

S2E12P3

With setting up the house and trying to find places for everyone, it had become obvious to Ava that she and Rick were officially a couple. He had already claimed an area for them. Well, he'd claimed an area for her and when she's ask where he'd be, he'd smirked like a school boy and asked if he had to be very far.

Of course she was thrilled with this confirmation of everything, but it had set a resolve in her mind: she had to talk to Carl. Standing on the porch of the house, she scanned the area for the boy. Rick had already given his permission and Ava no longer cared what Lori wanted. If she wasn't going to talk to her son, then Ava would. Eventually she spotted him heading towards the trucks.

"Hey, Carl?" She said, stopping the boy in his tracks. He looked up at her as she headed towards him, his expression unreadable. "Can I talk to you?"

"About what?"

"About everything, kid. It's time you got to hear the truth."

He frowned for a moment, then nodded and followed her as they went to the porch and sat on the steps. He hunched over himself, refusing to look at her at first. Ava swallowed and rubbed her hands.

"I get that you're angry with me and I can understand that. Your mum got me mad and I'm sorry I let her, okay?"

Still he said nothing.

"Tell me." She said after a moment of thinking. "Tell me exactly what it is you're angry about or confused about and I'll explain as best I can, okay?"

Again he was silent, but he looked up at her. Ava waited.

"You were shouting at my mum. You made her angry and she said you'd…" Carl swallowed, his anger growing. "You let me think mum and Shane were the bad guys for doing what they did, you made me trust you but then you were doing the same thing the whole time!"

"No!" Ava said, holding out a hand to calm him. "No, Carl calm down and let me explain, okay?"

He pouted but nodded, turning his gaze to his feet.

"Now. There was a night on the road when your father and I got very drunk, like everyone did at the CDC, remember?"

Carl nodded.

"What we did that night was stupid and we decided never to do it again because your father loves you very much and wanted him and your mother to be together for your sake. He wanted you to be happy. The thing is…"

Ava trailed off, biting her lip.

"You remember when I told you people sometimes fall out of love?"

He nodded again.

"Well, people also fall in love."

"I know that." He said.

"I fell in love, Carl. With your father. And he with me." Carl looked up at her. "No one wanted to hurt you Carl and I never meant to deceive you about your mum's relationship or mine. Things were – are – very complicated and I didn't want you stuck in the middle."

"I think it's too late for that."

Ava scoffed lightly.

"Yeah kid, it is. But you're parents should have been the ones to talk to you about all this. I'd hoped your mum would once Rick had made it clear that they're no longer a couple."

She looked down as she said this and reached out to rub Carls' shoulder. He jerked away.

"I'm sorry, kid. I wish it could be easy and that life was a fairytale where everyone lives happily ever after, but that's not real life. Things don't always work out that way."

Carl began scuffing the dirt around the porch steps with the toe of his shoe.

"Was there anything else you're confused about?"

"Yeah." He said after a moment, looking up at her. "But I don't think I want you to tell me."

"Why not?"

"Because like you said, you're not my mum. She should be the one to tell me these things."

Ava nodded, smiling solemnly and this time when she reached out for him, he didn't fight her, instead falling into her side for a hug.

"Take him out to Senoia, hour there, hour back, give or take." Rick said, looking over a map with Daryl. Ava stood to the side, looking down with them. "We may lose the light, but we'll be halfway home by then."

"This little pain in the ass will be a distant memory." Daryl said and Ava snorted. "Good riddance."

"Carol's putting together some provisions for him, enough to last a few days."

They all looked up as Shane's car came down the drive.

"That thing you did last night…" Rick said, looking to Daryl.

"Ain't no reason you should do all the heavy lifting." He said.

Rick nodded his appreciation as Shane stopped the car.

"Thanks, Daryl." Ava said, patting him on the arm. He waved her off.

"S'nothing."

Ava smirked and shook her head, knowing he'd never accept any form of thanks.

"So are you good with all this?" Rick asked him.

"I don't see you and I trading haymakers on the side of the road." Daryl said. "Nobody'd win that fight."

He folded the map and looked over as Shane approached them.

"I'm gonna take a piss." He said before heading off.

"Hey, man, you seen Carl lately?" Shane said, stopping beneath them.

"He's inside with his mother." Rick said.

"Look, he came to me. Okay, I wasn't supposed to say anything, but he was out in the swamps yesterday and he came across a walker stuck in the mud. He got scared, ran off."

Ava's chest tightened at the thought of him being out there alone.

"The same walker that killed Dale?" Rick said.

"That's the one."

Ava closed her eyes and shook her head. That poor kid. She could only imagine how much he was blaming himself for what happened. She wondered why he didn't mention it on the porch steps, then realised that she had almost died in that attack as well. Was he afraid of telling her he almost got her killed?

"I'll have Lori talk to him." Rick said.

"Look, man, I think he wants to talk to his father." Shane said.

"Well, I need this Randall thing done already."

"Man, that needs to wait, okay?" Shane argued. Ava sighed.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Shane's right." She said. Rick turned to her in shock. "I want this Randall thing cleared up as much as you do but Carl is your son. You need to look after your child. I spoke to him earlier about what came out when you first took Randall away and things are better, but he is definitely angry that his parents aren't telling him things."

Rick looked down, rubbing his head.

"It's my call." He said. Ava pursed her lips.

"How about I ride out with Daryl?" Shane suggested. "Good for us to spend a little time together."

"Nah, I need you here."

Shane stared at him long and hard.

"Don't think I'll handle it right, huh?"

"Didn't say that."

"What did you say?"

Rick didn't answer.

"You know, your son? He gave me this."

Shane held out a gun and Rick took it.

"You should get that back to Daryl, huh? Freeing that prisoner…" Shane shook his head. "More important to you than Carl."

Shane stormed off and Rick seethed, watching him go and planting his hands on his hips.

"Once Randall is gone I'll have all the time in the world to talk with Carl." He said, not even looking at Ava, simply knowing the look she was giving him.

"No there won't. After Carl was shot we had the barn to deal with. Once that was sorted we had Hershel and Beth to deal with. Once we got Hershel back we had Randall to deal with. There will always be something more, Rick. I know you're under pressure as our leader, making all the difficult choices, but you still have to be a father. You'll have two children to care for soon enough."

Rick looked down, bracing his hands on the porch railing.

"Talk to your son, Rick. While he still cares enough to listen."

Rick looked up at that, but Ava had already turned away and headed back into the house.


	65. Better angels: Part 4

S2E12P4

Ava found Glenn in the house, preparing his stuff in the dining room.

"I would've thought Maggie would let you be in her room?" She said. Glenn blushed.

"She did, but…"

Ava bopped him on the head. He turned and frowned at her.

"What did you do that for?"

"You're being an idiot. Maggie loves you, you love Maggie. Just go for it."

Glenn rolled his eyes and stormed past her, heading out of the house and moving to where their camp used to be. The RV still sat there, juddering every now and then.

"Oh, this doesn't look good." Ava muttered as the two approached.

"Andrea." Glenn said, capturing her attention from behind the wheel. "Hey, did you try pumping the gas pedal?"

"I think it's been parked too long." She called back.

"You gotta tap it three times-"

"And give her a twist. I know, I know."

Ava moved towards the front of the RV.

"Let me see." She said and Andrea left the engine dead. She exited the RV with the bag of tools and the three of them set about working on the engine.

"Uh, Dale told me that in these old vehicles the points-"

"Get corroded." Ava finished, turning to Glenn and smirking. "I know."

He smirked back, shaking his head.

"I forgot you were a mechanic."

"Screwdriver?" Andrea said, holding one out.

"Flathead." Glenn immediately corrected. He joined Ava as they worked on repairing it.

They worked in silence for a while, Andrea standing beside them ready to hand them whatever they needed. After a few minutes of silence, Glenn stopped. Ava looked at him and frowned.

"I let him down." He said, swallowing thickly.

"He was proud of you." Andrea said. "Maybe not in that moment, but overall."

"He loved you, Glenn." Ava said.

"Oh, that's easy for you to say." Glenn said, fighting back tears. "You had his back, both of you."

"I have my share of regrets," Andrea said. "But I think that he knew how much we cared for him."

Glenn sobbed, wiping his eyes and backing away from the RV. He sniffed.

"That might do it."

"Yeah." Ava said sadly, pushing the grating back. Andrea threw Glenn the keys and the three of them headed into the RV. Glenn sat behind the wheel and started the engine. It roared to life, if a little sickly, and Glenn raised his arms at the success. Andrea chuckled. Ava leaned between the seats, her throat thick with tears at the thought of Dale.

"He would have been so proud that you actually listened to what he taught you." Ava said, grinning as Glenn smirked. They all laughed, fond memories of Dale playing through their heads as they drove towards the house. Only when Glenn put the RV into park once more did Ava speak again.

"Losing Dale…" She swallowed. "It's made me realise tomorrow is too late. Because it was. Everyday I've been thinking 'Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll tell everyone.' But tomorrow has come and Dale is gone and now he'll never know."

She blinked back tears, wiping her cheeks as she fought back her grief. Glenn and Andrea looked up at her, frowning.

"Know what?" Andrea said.

"That I'm pregnant."

They both stared at her in shock, Glenn's eyes growing wide and Andrea's jaw dropping.

"Are you serious?" Glenn said, inadvertently staring at her stomach. Ava chuckled.

"If you could see anything, someone would have noticed by now." She said. Glenn started laughing and stood from the drivers' seat, pulling Ava into a tight hug.

"I don't understand." Andrea said, standing. "How…?"

Glenn pulled back suddenly.

"Rick."

Andrea's eyes bulged.

"Oh my God." She said. Ava shrugged sheepishly.

"I found those pregnancy tests. I'm assuming you brought them back, Glenn?"

"Yeah." He said. "Lori asked me for them, but it was negative."

Ava sighed.

"Well, mine wasn't."

Andrea let out a laugh and pushed Glenn aside so she could hug Ava.

"Oh god, what are we going to do?" She said when they pulled away.

"No idea, but Hershel knows and he isn't kicking us out so that's good news."

"It doesn't matter." Glenn said. "We'll work it out. We always do."

Ava smiled and wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders.

"You know, I consider you guy's family. I really do. It's so nice to finally tell you this."

Andrea and Glenn grinned.

"But it's still a secret for now."

"Not more secrets." Glenn groaned.

"Relax. It's only for today. Rick and I are going to tell everyone tomorrow."

"That'll be interesting." Andrea said drily. Ava hummed in agreement and after one final hug from each of them, they exited the RV and headed into the house without giving any inclination that anything had happened.


	66. Better angels: Part 5

S2E12P5

"I talked to Carl."

Ava looked up as Rick came into the kitchen. She was just finishing on chopping the carrots and put the knife down as he approached her.

"What did you say?"

"I told him the truth: that it wasn't his fault, but that people are going to die. I made him keep that gun with him too, so he can protect himself."

Ava nodded.

"Good."

There was a moment of silence that lasted only a few seconds before Ava sighed and moved to stand in front of Rick.

"It's never going to be easy, is it?" She said.

"Never is, but we try and we survive."

She smiled and nodded, straightening the sides of his jacket and feeling the warmth of his body under her hands.

"I told Glenn and Andrea about the baby." She said. Rick hummed, moving his hands to her sides. She shivered from the touch and let herself fall into him, leaning her head on his shoulder as he held her close. Ava realised she'd never felt so content.

"What do you want?"

"What do you mean?" Ava asked, leaning her head back so she could look up at him.

"Boy or girl?"

Ava grinned, her heart overflowing with joy at the thought.

"Honestly? I'd be happy with either. You?"

"Girl." He said almost immediately, smiling down at her. "Then I'd have one of each."

She smiled and reached up, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. He groaned and kissed her deeper, but she pulled away before it could go very far.

"Tease." He murmured. Ava chuckled.

"God I love you, Rick Grimes."

Rick reached up and cupped Ava's face, staring deep into her eyes.

"And I love you, Ava Sallow."

He leaned down to kiss her again when T-Dog burst into the room. Ava whelped, pressing a hand to her heart as it pounded furiously.

"Christ alive." She muttered.

"Sorry." T-Dog said, the shock on his face more akin to why he had burst in than what he had seen. "But Randall's gone."

Rick and Ava exchanged a look before running after T-Dog, all the way down to the barn. Others were beginning to notice and rally around them as they ran into the barn. As T-Dog had said, there was no Randall but there was a pair of bloodied handcuffs. Daryl burst in a second later.

"You've gotta be kidding me." He said before immediately bounding out.

Rick shared a look with Ava, remembering all the things Daryl had said about how the men would be dead and the women…

He shook his head, forcing those thoughts from his head as he left the barn.

"The cuffs are still hooked." He said, Ava following him out into the light.

"He must've slipped them." Ava finished.

"Is that possible?" Andrea said and Ava shrugged.

"It is if you've got nothing to lose." Maggie said.

"The door was secured from the outside." Hershel added. Ava frowned, wondering how he could have gotten out.

"Rick!"

They all turned at the sound of Shane's voice, the man heading towards them with a bloodied nose.

"Rick!"

"What happened?" Lori called, showing the first bit of concern for her lover that Ava had seen.

"He's armed!" Shane yelled. "He's got my gun!"

"Are you okay?" Andrea said.

"I'm fine. Little bastard just snuck up on me. He clocked me in the face."

Ava stared at him. This didn't feel right. Everything about the situation was wrong. She could feel it in her bones.

"Alright, Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house." Rick said. "Glenn, Daryl, come with us."

"T, I'm gonna need that gun." Shane said.

"I'm coming too."

"The hell you are." Rick said, turning to Ava. She scowled and put her hand on her hips.

"Just let him go." Carol said. "That was the plan, wasn't it, to just let him go?"

"The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun." Shane growled.

"Don't go out there. Ya'll know what can happen." Carol begged them.

"Rick." Ava said in a warning tone. Rick stepped up to her.

"He's armed and dangerous and you need to stay safe."

"He's right Ava." Andrea said, looking between the two. "You need to stay here."

Ava sighed, shaking her head. Being pregnant made her fragile and she didn't like being fragile. She rubbed her head.

"Alright fine." She growled. She'd relent but she didn't have to be happy about it. Rick nodded and squeezed her hand before moving off but she went after him, grabbing his arm. "Be careful, Rick. Something about this doesn't add up. Keep an eye on Shane. Please."

He nodded.

"I know, Ava. I'll be careful." He leaned down and kissed her quick and deep. "I love you. Be safe."

As he marched off with the rest of the group, he turned back only once, catching Ava's eye before addressing everyone else.

"Get everybody back in the house. Lock all the doors and stay put!" He said.

"Let's go, back in the house." Maggie said and Andrea took Ava's arm when she didn't move, leading her back with the others.


	67. Better angels: Part 6

S2E12P6

Rick, Glenn, Shane and Daryl marched into the trees, Rick drawing his mind away from Ava and focusing on the mission at hand. She would be safe at the house and she could handle herself.

"I saw him head up through the trees that way before I blacked out." Shane said as they moved through the trees. "I'm not sure how long."

"He couldn't have gotten far." Rick said. The sky was darkening above them, making conditions less than ideal, but that couldn't be helped. "He's hobbled, exhausted."

"And armed." Said Glenn.

"So are we." Rick turned to Daryl. "Can you track him?"

"No, I don't see nothing." Daryl said, scouring the ground with his eyes. It wasn't a good sign. Rick swallowed. Daryl had managed to track Sophia for miles, yet he couldn't even get a grown mans tracks.

"Hey, look, there ain't no use in tracking him, okay?" Shane said. "He went that way. We need to pair up. We spread out, we just chase him down. That's it."

Rick closed his eyes and sighed.

"Kid weighs a buck-25 soaking wet. You trying to tell us he got the jump on you?" Daryl said, picking up on the implausibility of his story.

"I say a rock pretty much evens those odds, wouldn't you?" Shane snapped.

"Alright, knock it off." Rick said, stepping between them. "You and Glenn start heading up the right flank. Me and Shane'll take the left. Remember, Randall's not the only threat out there. Keep an eye out for each other."

The two nodded to Rick before heading off as instructed, he and Shane going it alone. Rick was glad Ava hadn't joined them. She never would have let him go off with Shane alone – especially when he could figure out what was going on. She would have seen it in a heartbeat. She pretty much did.

Rick and Shane kept moving, though Rick didn't bother spending much time looking for Randall. He was pretty certain the kid was already dead. The sun set rapidly as they moved and it was almost completely black by the time Rick decided to speak with Shane.

"Looks like it's busted pretty bad."

"It's fine, man." Shane said. "Don't worry about me."

They kept moving, deep into woods. Rick was careful to put himself behind Shane, something his friend noticed. He turned and they shared a tense look. Rick swallowed. It was all coming to a head and all he could do was hope he survived, for Carl and Ava, for his unborn child.

"Does this way feel right?" he asked.

"As right as any."

"Snatched your gun, huh?" Rick pressed.

"Yeah. It's my favourite piece too. Gonna wish he'd killed me when I find his sorry ass."

Shane stopped, looking back at Rick he stopped too. Shane nodded forward.

"Go on."

Rick clenched his jaw but obliged. He would not die here. He just would not.

"You say he got you with a rock?" Rick said as they walked onto a hill, leaving the trees behind, the wide open sky stretching far and dark before them.

"That's what I said."

"Inside the shed?" Shane said nothing. "'Cause that door was shut when T-Dog rolled up."

"I saw that too. Must've slipped through the rafters in the roof."

Rick kept moving, but he heard the footsteps behind him stop. He slowed and looked up, sighing. Shane's breathing grew heavy behind him and Rick looked down at his gun before putting it back in its holster.

"So this is where you planned to do it?"

"It's as good place as any." Shane said, his tone low and level. He didn't care in the slightest that he was about to kill Rick and that – ironically – killed him. Rick ignored the pain he felt, knowing what was about to come, and turned.

"At least have the balls to call this what it is." He said, turning and looking Shane dead in the eye as his friend un-holstered his gun. "Murder."

Rick turned on Shane and shook his head, pacing.

"You really believe if you walk back onto that farm alone, no me, no Randall-"

"I want you to hush up." Shane said.

"You really believe they're gonna buy whatever bullshit story you cook up?" Rick spat.

"That's just it. It ain't no story." Shane said, calm as ever, staring at Rick. "I saw that prisoner shoot you down. I ran after him. I snapped his neck. It ain't gonna be easy, but Lori and Carl? They'll get over you. They done it before. They just gonna have to. Even Ava will. That, or she'll bugger off after her real family."

Shane raised his gun and Rick breathed deep.

"Why?" He growled. "Why now? I thought we worked this all out."

"We tried to kill each other man." Shane chuckled. "What you think? We just gonna forget about it all? We gonna ride off into the sunset together?"

"You're gonna kill me in cold blood?" Rick threw back. "Screw my ex? Have my son – my son call you daddy? Is that what you want? That life won't be worth a damn. I know you. You won't be able to live with this." Rick rubbed his face and rounded on Shane. "Ava's pregnant."

Shane hesitated, his eyes widening ever so slightly. He swallowed.

"What you know about what I can live with?" he said, riling himself up. "You got no idea what I can live with, what I live with! You wanna talk about what I can do, Rick? How about what you can do?"

He put his gun in his belt and threw his arms wide, giving Rick the chance to kill him if he so desired, but Rick didn't want that. He shook his head.

"Here I am. Come on, man. Raise your gun."

"No." Rick said, planting his hands on his hips. "No, I will not."

"What happened, Rick?" Shane growled. "I thought you weren't the good guy anymore. Ain't that what you said? Even right here, right now, you ain't gonna fight for 'em? I'm a better father than you, Rick. I'm better for Lori than you, man."

"That's fine by me, Shane." Rick hissed. "But Carl is my son. Ava is having my child. You really gonna take a father from an unborn child."

"I'm a better man than you, Rick." Shane continued. "'Cause I can be here and I'll fight for it. You come back here and you just destroy everything! You got a bitchy woman. You got a weak boy."

Rick seethed.

"You ain't got the first clue on how to fix it." Shane pulled his gun free once more. "Raise your gun."

"You're gonna have to kill an unarmed man." Rick said, lifting his arms high. "Watch my hand. Nice and easy."

Rick slowly reached across his body and pulled free his gun.

"Easy does it."

He pulled it free and held it out to him.

"Now listen to me, Shane." He said, slowly moving towards his former friend. "There is still a way back from this. Nothing has happened here. We're gonna lay down our guns and we're gonna walk back to the farm. Together." He moved closer still. "Back to Lori. Back to Carl. Put this all behind us."

He was right in front of him then, the barrel of Shane's gun practically pressed to his forehead. Rick reached his free hand back, Shane's attention fixed on Rick. His heart hammered in his throat and he felt sick as he fought to keep himself focused. With Rick's gun in reach, Shane looked down as he grabbed it and Rick moved.

Quick as a flash, he pulled free his penknife and drove it into Shane's chest, his gun going off over Ricks' shoulder. Rick panted into his friends' shoulder as Shane groaned and went weak at the knees. Rick followed him down, driving the knife in further as he lay him down. Tears were streaming down his face as he saw what he had done.

"Damn you for making me do this, Shane." Rick sobbed. "This was you, not me! You did this to us! This was you, not me! Not me!"

Rick pulled the blade free and blood pooled from Shane's chest. The man stared at it in shock and Rick leaned away.

"Not me!" he sobbed. Shane's bloodied hand grasped at his throat and Rick, fighting back tears, took his hand and held it tight as he died.

When Shane fell still, Rick didn't know what to do. He fell back on his heels and looked out to the dark sky, distraught and crying helplessly. He screamed in anger and agony before standing and moving away from the body. He sobbed away his grief, worked himself up until it was all gone. Then he returned to Shane's body and stared down at it, running a hand through his hair.

Rick wondered what he was waiting for, but at the same time he knew. It was what Jenner had told him, what he hadn't wanted to believe. He'd almost told Ava about it when she'd told him she'd had enough of secrets, but he'd chickened out.

"Dad?"

Rick looked up, struggling to comprehend what he was seeing. Carl stood staring at him and Shane, his bottom lip trembling as he realised Shane was dead. Rick swallowed.

"Carl." He said, his voice cracking as he pushed to his feet. "You know...you should be back home with mum."

Carls' eyes glittered with tears and he raised the gun Rick had given him, so large in his hands. Rick struggled to hold back his tears, taking slow and steady steps towards his son.

"Just…just put the gun down." He said, but Carl just sobbed as he held it. "It's not what it seems. Please."

Carl fired, but instead of hitting Rick, he killed the walker behind them. Rick spun and saw Shane go down and Carl panted and lowered the gun. Rick fell to his knees and wrapped Carl in a hug, the boy sobbing into his shoulder as he held him. When Rick stood, he carried Carl with him and went to look at Shane. It was true. What Jenner had said was right.


	68. Beside the dying fire: Part 1

S2E13P1

The house stayed silent well into the night, until a gunshot echoed across the lands. Ava hadn't been able to sit still since, her legs moving her backwards and forward before the porch-side window.

"I'm going after them." Andrea said, standing from the sofa.

"Don't, they could be anywhere." Lori said.

"I love how you don't seem the least bit concerned about this whole situation." Ava said, turning on Lori.

"Excuse me?"

"Seriously? It's…" Ava trailed off, running a hand through her hair. She shook her head. "Nothing. I'm sorry."

She sank into a chair nearby and tried to calm her breathing. She'd be no help to anyone if she was this worked up. Andrea patted her on the shoulder and Lori pursed her lips, turning back to the blonde woman.

"If Randall comes back, we're gonna need you here."

The front door creaked and Ava jumped to her feet, her neck craning to get a look at Daryl and Glenn as they walked in. Her blood turned to ice when she saw Rick and Shane were missing.

"Rick and Shane ain't back?" Daryl said.

"No." Lori said.

"We heard a shot." Daryl said.

"So did we." Ava said, folding her arms.

"Maybe they found Randall."

"We found him." Daryl told Lori.

"Is he back in the shed?" Andrea asked.

"He's a walker."

There was silence for a moment.

"Did you find the walker that bit him?" Hershel asked and even before Daryl answered Ava knew there was something more to this. She knew Randall hadn't just gotten attacked and died.

"No, the weird thing is he wasn't bit." Glenn said, sharing a look with Maggie.

"His neck was broke." Daryl finished.

"So he fought back."

"The thing is, Shane and Randall's tracks were right on top of each other." Daryl said. Ava gritted her teeth, knowing where this was going. "And Shane ain't no tracker, so he didn't come up behind him. They were together."

"Would you please get back out there, find Rick and Shane and find out what on earth is going on?" Lori said, standing.

"I think it's pretty obvious what's happened." Ava said, drawing her gun and checking it was loaded. "I knew something was wrong about this whole thing. If you're going out Daryl, I'm coming too."

"Ava…" Glenn trailed off.

"You got it." Daryl said, and Ava nodded her thanks.

"I'm coming too." Andrea said, and the three of them exited the house and stopped on the porch. Ava's breath hitched, caught in between a scream and a sigh as she and the others looked out into the darkness and saw walkers ambling towards them.

Across the farm, Rick and Carl walked back towards the house. Crickets chirped all around them and Rick struggled to come to terms with what he had just done. Carl was still sniffing at his side.

"You bit too?" he asked. Rick swallowed.

"No."

"Shane was." Carl spoke with a quiver to his voice, but his bravery held out.

"That wasn't Shane." Rick said softly. "You know that."

"Used to be."

They continued on in silence once more, moving across the field at a measured pace.

"What happened?" Carl asked eventually. "You guys attacked? I mean, I... I heard a gunshot, but I didn't see any walkers nearby."

Rick was silent.

"How did Shane die?"

Rick stopped and turned to Carl, breathing deep as he tried to think of a way to tell him the truth, a way that wouldn't scare or hurt Carl. Was there a way to do that? Ava would know what to say.

Rick frowned, distracted from trying to think of words by a strange sound that was all too familiar. He spun around, eyes wide as he spotted in the gloom the stumbling bodies of the dead.

"Oh my God!" He whispered, turning to Carl. "Go, go, go."

They ran to the edge of the tree-line, the barn in sight, and Rick knelt down before his son.

"We... we gotta get to the house, tell the others." Carl said, panicking.

"We'll never get through that." Rick told him, though he was as desperate to get in there as Carl was. He'd asked Ava to stay behind so she could be safe. Instead she was the opposite. "Can't go around. Carl, stay close. Go!"

He took Carl's hand and they ran towards the barn, Carl whimpering as a walker came close. They moved fast and reached the barn, Rick pulling the door shut behind him as the dead began pounding on the walls. He dragged a steel pipe through the handles on the inside, holding it well enough though he knew it wouldn't last. He turned back to his son and the barn, wondering what the hell he could do to save them now.


	69. Beside the dying fire: Part 2

S2E13P2

Ava stood staring at the herd as the other occupants of the house poured onto the deck to see what they had seen. Hershel took one look at what was coming before turning away.

"Patricia, kill the lights." He whispered.

"I'll get the guns." Andrea said, the two heading back into the house.

"Maybe they're just passing, like the herd on the highway." Glenn suggested. "Should we just go inside?"

"Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about." Daryl said. "A herd that size would rip the house down."

"Herd like this passed when Rick and I went for the water hose. We hid in the basement but the herd was smaller than this and even they broke into the house, tore right through." Ava said, swallowing. Footsteps hammered on the porch and they all turned as Lori came down.

"Carl's gone."

Ava blanched, jaw dropping.

"What?" Daryl said.

"He... he was upstairs. I can't find him anymore." She panted. Ava seethed.

"For Christ's sake Lori." She growled, rubbing her head.

"Watch your mouth." Lori snapped back, eyes glistening with anger and desperation. Ava gritted her teeth and rounded on Lori, the woman taking a step back as Ava planted herself in her face.

"No. You should watch your son. Go back inside and look for him like any mother should."

Lori looked ready to retaliate but Carol came forward and grabbed her arm.

"There's no time. We're gonna look again. We're gonna find him." She said and the two turned back to the house. Andrea and Maggie returned with the bag of guns and opened it up on the floor, handing them out as she did.

"Maggie." Glenn said, looking between her and guns.

"You grow up country, you pick up a thing or two." She said, loading her shotgun. She handed another to Ava before Daryl took it away.

"No, give her the rifle. She's a better shot."

Ava's lips twitched into a small smile as she took the rifle, checking it was loaded and slinging the strap over her shoulder. She put her handgun back in its holster.

"I got the numbers." Daryl said a moment later. "It's no use."

It certainly appeared that way. There were hundreds of the dead bearing down on the farm.

"You can go if you want." Hershel said.

"You gonna take 'em all on?"

"We have guns." Hershel said. "We have cars."

"Kill as many as we can," Andrea suggested, cocking her gun. "And we'll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm."

"Are you serious?" Daryl said.

"This is my farm. I'll die here."

"Alright."Daryl shrugged. "It's as good a night as any."

"I for one don't intend to die tonight." Ava said, patting him on the shoulder. "But if I do I will do it fighting to protect my family."

Daryl looked a little uncomfortable, giving her a sideways glance but never letting on that he was actually touched. Ava fought back a smirk.

Rick and Carl ran deeper into the barn, the wood panelling beginning to give way.

"Alright, here we go." Rick said as he picked up a canister of petrol and began sloshing it across the barn floor. "Come on. Hurry."

Wood splintered and he turned to see the side of the barn beginning to give way.

"Oh shit. Alright." He dropped the empty canister. "Okay. Up there."

Rick pushed Carl towards the ladder.

"Hurry."

"Well, what about you?" Carl said, turning to his father.

"I'll be right there." Rick promised, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Drop the lighter when I say. We'll stop some of them from reaching the house and distract the others, so at least we'll have a chance."

Carl looked down, crying.

"Hey, hey, look at me." He said, cradling his sons' cheek in his hand. "You can do this. Carl... I love you."

Carl stared at him, struggling to hold back tears. A walkers cry drew Ricks' attention back to the barn.

"Alright, go, go, go." He said and Carl turned and jumped up the ladder.

"Hey!" Rick yelled, running and kicking and banging against the doors. "Hey! You want some?!"

Rick pulled the pipe from the handles and threw the doors wide.

"Come and get it!" He backed away quickly as the hoard followed him in. "Come on! Come on! Come on!"

He reached the ladder and jumped up a few rungs.

"Over here!" He moved up a bit further. "Come on, over here."

He moved to the very top of the ladder and turned to Carl, panting hard, adrenaline through the roof.

"Carl, now!"

Carl lit the lighter and dropped it over the edge, the fuel lighting immediately and setting the night ablaze. Rick climbed off of the ladder and moved to Carls' side, cocking his gun as they looked down on the burning bodies.


	70. Beside the dying fire: Part 3

S2E13P3

Every vehicle was occupied and Ava stood in the back of the blue truck, holding onto the roof as she stared at the burning barn. There were only two people who could have done that: Shane or Rick. She was certain it wasn't both. She knew Shane had taken Rick out there to kill him. She swallowed hard, praying it was the man she loved still alive in that barn.

The cars drew close to the barn which was surrounded by walkers and they all began to fire, Andrea from the window of the truck and Ava from the back. She stumbled after the first shot.

"Keep it steady!" She yelled to T-Dog.

Glenn yelled the same to Maggie as he shot out of the passenger window.

"I'm trying!"

"Damn it." Glen said.

T-Dog skidded on the wet grass, the truck careening from one side to the other and Ava was thrown to the back of the truck and from side to side. Eventually he got it up and turned again.

"Ava?"

"I'm alright, Andrea." She said, staggering back to her feet and resuming firing. There were so many. When she thought they'd taken down a good chunk they only seemed to be replaced with others.

The RV stopped and Jimmy leaned out the window, shooting at the dead. Gunfire echoed and hammered against Ava's ear drums so badly that she didn't hear what Daryl said to the boy, but she gathered his intentions as the RV headed towards the back of the barn.

Rick and Carl, meanwhile, had moved them the interior platform above the burning walkers as the fire began to blaze. He looked down but there were walkers everywhere and nothing they could do. Then Rick heard the rumbling of a familiar engine and turned to see the RV ambling towards them.

"Hey! Here!" he yelled, waving his arms. "Get in here! Put it right there! Come on!"

The RV came to a rocky stop next to where they were and Rick jumped onto the roof before turning and helping Carl onto it. Gunfire echoed and Rick turned to it instinctively, seeing the blue truck haring backwards and forwards along the line of the dead. His heart jumped when he saw it. He'd recognise the woman in the back anywhere, though his joy was instantly crushed by a deep fear of anything happening to her.

Screams echoed from the RV below and Rick knew whoever it was was gone. He climbed down the ladder on the back, firing at any walkers who came close.

"Carl, now!" Rick yelled as his son came down the ladder. He just managed to avoid the hands of the dead and they ran, coming around the front of the RV in time for blood to spurt across the inside of the windscreen. Rick quickly pulled Carl away.

"This way!"

The cars kept circling and guns kept firing, but Ava was beginning to lose hope that their plan would actually work. Ava fell to one knee so she could reload.

"They're all over the place." Andrea said to T-Dog. "There's no corralling them. We're gonna run out of ammo before we even make a dent."

"Agreed." Ava said.

"We need a new game plan." T-Dog said, grunting as the front of the truck got blocked by a load of the dead. Ava stood to shoot them.

Rick and Carl ran through the dead, Carl whimpering as they did. Rick looked both ways and all around, making sure they were a good distance from the walkers.

"There." He said, pointing forwards. "Head for the woods now, as fast as you can. Come on."

They ran into the trees.

"There!" Ava yelled, pointing to Lori, Beth and some others that were trying to escape the house. T-Dog pulled the truck up to them, Ava jolting as they stopped.

"Get in!" Andrea yelled, jumping from the truck. Ava followed, swinging her gun around and shooting at the others.

"Dad!" Beth screamed. Ava couldn't see Hershel anywhere.

"Get Carol." Lori said, pointing. "She ran that way."

Andrea and Ava ran for Carol, shooting the dead as they did. Ava struggled to breathe past the adrenaline flowing through her veins but they saw Carol and shot the walkers heading her way just before they got her. Carol screamed and Ava turned just as a walker fell on top of Andrea. She ran to her side, seeing she had shot the walker in time and tried to help pull it off of her.

She rolled the walker off of her friend and, panting, turned to see Carol was gone. The screeching of tires brought her attention back to the truck but it too was gone, disappearing into the herd of walkers. Ava swallowed hard, whimpering despite herself and she helped Andrea to her feet.

They both looked around.

"Where the hell did they go!" She said.

"They left us." Ava swallowed, checking the ammo in her rifle and slinging it back when she saw it was empty. She wished she had that damned spear…

"Andrea, we need to get to the house."

"Are you crazy?"

"Trust me! I'm nearly out of ammo and so are you. We need weapons that won't run out and if we move fast we can get there."

Andrea looked to the woods, shooting a walker, and then back to the house.

"Then we'd better hurry."

They raced towards the porch steps, shooting the walkers with what was left of their ammo. Andrea clicked empty before Ava did and only as they reached the front doors. They disappeared inside.

"Come on." She said, racing up the stairs and to the place she and Rick had never gotten the chance to sleep. She dug through the blankets and pulled out her spear before throwing her gun and the last mag to Andrea.

They turned back to the stairs, but the dead were breaking through. Ava turned to the window and threw it open, not even thinking as she climbed out onto the porch roof. Andrea followed and she shot the walkers beneath them before they jumped down.

Ava sprawled as she fell, her stomach twinging from the effort it took to stand back up again. Andrea took her hand and they ran.


	71. Beside the dying fire: Part 4

S2E13P4

Rick and Carl had edged their way back to the house and saw it practically overrun. He thought at first that everyone was gone, but then he spotted Hershel still shooting at the onslaught. The man stopped to reload and Rick raced forward as a walker approached him, shooting it before it could get him.

"Where's Ava?" He said as Hershel turned to him. "Did you see her?"

"I don't know what happened, Rick. They just keep coming." Hershel said. "It's like a plague. They're everywhere."

"Ava! Did you see her?"

"No!" Hershel yelled back.

Rick took a deep breath, trying to hold back the fear.

"We have to go." He said, turning to Carl. "Find Ava, your mum and the others." The boy nodded. He grabbed Hershels' arm.

"It's my farm!"

"Not anymore!" Rick growled, dragging him away.

They reached a red truck and Rick got Carl inside as Hershel shot off some more rounds.

"Come on!" he yelled and Hershel reluctantly obliged, jumping in with them.

"Go." He said, and Rick did, not looking back once because if he did he'd see the destruction of their home and what they'd now lost.

But he should have, because if he'd just glanced in the rear-view mirror, he would have seen Ava and Andrea screaming for him to come back.

Rick drove all the way out to the highway where they'd first lost Sophia before stopping. There were still some supplies on the car they'd left for her and the sun was up. A new day.

"Wait, where's mum?" Carl said as they got out. "You said she'd be here. W... we gotta go back for her."

Rick turned to Carl, reaching out for him.

"Carl..."

"No. Why are we running?" He yelled. "What are you doing? It's... It is mum. We need to get her and not be safe a mile away."

"Shh." Rick said, leaning in. "You need to be quiet, all right?"

"Please." Carl begged. "It's mum. And Ava."

Rick turned away, then crouched down and touched his arm.

"You think I don't want to go back? Look, Carl, listen-"

"No." The boy said, shaking off his hand and heading back to the truck. Rick stayed crouching a moment, jaw taught as he let himself wonder if they were all dead. He couldn't bare it. He just couldn't.

He stood, going after Carl when Hershel stopped him.

"Rick." He turned to Hershel. "You've got to get your boy to safety. I'll wait here for my girls and the others. I know a few places. We'll meet up at one of them later."

"Where?" Rick said, running a hand through his hair. "Where is safe? We're not splitting up."

"Please," Hershel said. "Keep your boy safe. I'll hide in one of the cars. If a walker gets me, so be it. I've lost my farm. I've lost my wife and maybe my daughters."

"You don't know that." Rick said, knowing he could think the same of anyone back there. "They'll be here."

"And you don't know that?"

"You're a man of God." Rick spat. "Have some faith."

"I can't profess to understand God's plan, but Christ promised the resurrection of the dead. I just thought he had something a little different in mind." Hershel started tearing up as he finished, breathing heavily as he did. Rick sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We stick together." He said resolutely, turning back and heading after Carl.

A while later, a walker ambled past and they hid behind the car waiting for it to pass.

"Okay." Rick said as it moved past the truck and they edge to the back bumper, Rick craning his neck to watch it move on.

"I don't know how much longer we can stay here." Hershel whispered.

"I... I'm not leaving without mum." Carl said.

"So we're just gonna walk away?" Rick seethed, glaring at Hershel. "Not knowing if Ava or Lori, or your girls are still out there? How do we live with that?"

"You've only got one concern now." Hershel nodded Carl."Just one...keeping him alive. Nature may be throwing us a curveball, but that law is still true."

Rick looked at Hershel, hearing the truth in her words and closed his eyes tight. He saw Ava's face in his mind and knew she would want him to keep Car safe. So would Lori. Rick knelt down in front of his son.

"Carl. It's not safe here." He started and Carl looked down. "I'm sorry. We'll-"

He stopped, cocking his head to one side as a sound slowly developed into an engine. He turned and stood as Daryl and Carol turned up on the bike, as well as the silver car and the blue truck. The three ran through the cars to stop into front of the others as they all got out. Rick took Daryls' hand as a form of solidarity, grinning.

"Oh thank God!" Lori cried as she and Carl embraced. Rick smiled at the two and at Maggie as she ran to embrace her father, Beth joining not long after.

"Where'd you find everyone?" Rick asked Daryl.

"Well, those guys' tail lights zigzagging all over the road... figured he had to be Asian, driving like that."

"Good one." Glenn said, too happy to sound offended.

"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked.

"We're the only ones who made it so far…" Rick said, trailing off as he noticed Ava was no longer in the blue car. In fact, she wasn't in any of them. He staggered back.

"Shane?" Lori asked, Rick shook his head, breathing hard as he looked down.

"Where's Ava?" He eventually managed to say, his head spinning.

"She and Andrea saved me." Carol said. "But I lost them."

"We saw them go down." T-Dog said, leaning over the door of the truck.

Rick fell against the side of one of the cars. People were talking, but all he heard was white noise. Ava was gone. Ava was gone.

No. She couldn't be she just couldn't.

"You definitely saw her?" Rick said, interrupting whatever was being said. "You definitely saw them go down?"

"There were walkers everywhere." Lori said.

"Yeah, but did you see her go down!" Rick yelled, getting in her face.

"Dad!" Carl said, scared. Rick swallowed, rubbing his eyes.

"Did you see her?" He repeated, looking Lori dead in the eye.

"Yes." She said eventually. "I saw her go down."

Rick turned away from her, shaking his head.

"I'm gonna go back." Daryl said.

"No." Hershel said.

"We can't just leave them." He protested. Rick was inclined to agree, or he would have been if he could grasp any aspect of what was happening. All he knew right then was that Ava was dead. Their child was dead. He'd lost almost everything he cared about.

"We don't even know if she's there." Maggie said.

"She isn't there." Glenn said resolutely, tears in his eyes. "Ava and Andrea won't be there. I don't care what you saw Lori, but they're alive."

"If they're alive we have to go back for them." Daryl protested.

"Glenn's right." Rick said, turning to look blankly at the group. "They're either dead or gone. There's no way to find them."

"So we're not even gonna look for them?" Carol said, shocked, but Rick said nothing more, turning away from all of them and falling to his knees. He stayed there, staring back the way they'd come and praying that they'd both turn up, walking along like nothing had happened and it'd all be fine.

But they didn't come and Rick cried and screamed and yelled until Hershel dragged him away.


	72. Beside the dying fire: Part 5

S2E13P5

Ava doubled up, leaning against a tree as she did. She bit back a cry from the pain and begged and pleaded that nothing was going wrong, that her baby was okay.

"Ava?"

"I'm alright." She said as Andrea helped her move. They'd been running all night and Ava was exhausted, but they couldn't stop moving. She used the spear as a crutch as they moved, the gun bag slapping against Andrea's side. The heard was still following them, too many to deal with alone and they wouldn't let up. After a while Andrea stopped and went through the bag, emptying the ammo out and seeing there wasn't much left.

"Dammit." She said, and Ava turned, stabbing the spear into a walker who was closing in on them. They kept moving.

Eventually walkers were closing in on all sides and Andrea fired, taking out three before her gun was out.

"Shit." She said.

They both ran, Ava pushing herself as far as she could though her legs felt like jelly and she could hardly make them move. She felt like she was running in a dream.

"Ah!" She screamed, grabbing her side as her leg spasmed, sending shooting pain to the base of her spine. Andrea ran to her side and tried to keep her moving. "I don't think I can go much further."

"Yes you can." Andrea said, dragging her up.

Night began to fall again as they ran and Ava was barely conscious. She couldn't focus, swinging blindly at the dead that came her way. She fell as Andrea was floored by a walker and tried to go to her aid, but she could barely move. Ava curled over herself, trying to edge closer, to help, but she couldn't. She stayed conscious just long enough to see the walker decapitated, but then she was gone.

Rick looked out into the darkness. He didn't turn back to the group because he knew what they thought of him. He'd told them about Jenner, about how they were all infected, and now they didn't trust him.

Did it make a difference? Not to him. Not at that moment. All he could think about was Ava and she would want him to keep the group alive. So that's what he'd do. He couldn't lose anyone else.

Rick looked up when a twig snapped.

"What was that?" Beth said.

"Could be anything." Daryl drawled. "Could be a raccoon, could be a possum."

"Walker." Glenn said.

"We need to leave."Carol said. Rick stood and looked down at them. "I mean what are we waiting for?"

They looked on him with caution. He couldn't blame them after what had happened on the road – not that he remembered much of it. He knew he had screamed and cried, his grief almost driving him to madness. He couldn't let that happen. The group would die if he lost it, so he would wait to grieve. He just wouldn't think about it, not until they were safe.

"Which way?" Glenn said.

"It came from over there." Beth told him.

"Back from where we came."

"The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark." Rick said, everyone turning to look at him. He hadn't exactly been calm in telling them about the virus and what happened to Shane, so he couldn't say their distrust was unwarranted. "We don't have the vehicles. No one's travelling on foot."

"Don't panic." Hershel said.

"I'm not..." Maggie swallowed. "I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move, now."

"No one is going anywhere." Rick growled. They all stared at him.

"Do something." Carol snapped, and Rick snapped too. He lost it but not out of grief, out of anger.

"I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this." He spat. "I killed my best friend for you people, I abandoned the woman I love and our unborn child, for Christ's sake!"

They stared at him and Rick rubbed the tears from his eyes. He couldn't think about it. Forget it, don't think about her. Don't.

"Ava was pregnant?" Lori said, eyes blurred with tears. Rick looked down at the meagre fire and tried to pull himself back, to stay away from the grief. Lori looked down too, gaping blankly at the fire.

"You saw what Shane was like," he said, changing the subject. "How he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean."

He looked around the group, staring at every single one of their faces.

"Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead." He turned to the forest, pointing. "I say there's a place for us, but maybe... maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe... maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you... Why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get."

No one moved. Everyone look down in shame and confusion.

"No takers?" he said, wiping his eyes. "Fine. But get one thing straight... you're staying. This isn't a democracy anymore."

No one spoke up or moved, so Rick nodded, accepting, and moved away from the group. He moved just far enough away to be out of sight and fell against a tree, falling to his knees and cradling his head in his hands. Here he cried, mourning Ava and the child that would never be, and promised himself that after that moment he would be strong and brave and protect the group she had considered family. He would not think of her death. It would be how he honoured her. 


	73. Seed: Part 1

_Authors note: SEASON 3! So excited to have got this far. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It really makes my day :) Hope you enjoy the next season!_

* * *

S3E1P1

Months had passed. Rick didn't really notice them go by. Each day was marked only by the need to survive, to keep the group going and to fight against the dead. He thought of nothing else. If he did, his mind would drift to thoughts of Ava and he just couldn't deal with that. So he thought of nothing but survival.

Occasionally it struck him that he had become her, in the days before they met. Only she had been alone. He understood now how horrible her life had been.

He drew his gun as he, Daryl, T-Dog and Carl approached a house. It was just another place on the road. Another trap or possible gold-mine of food and supplies. He listened at the doors, picking up the faint sounds of shuffling.

Rick nodded to those behind him and kicked the door down, shooting the first walker in the head, T-Dog taking the second one with a crowbar. The shots made no sound. One of the first things he'd done was find silencers for their weapons. Staying quiet was of the upmost importance.

They moved through the house, separating to search the area. Rick breathed deep and slow, calm but alert as he edged down a dark hallway, torch and gun raised. There was a door at the end and he reached out for the handle, his heart quickening as he turned the handle and pulled the door open.

His torch illuminated Daryl's face, both men pointing their weapons at one another. Daryl smirked as their heart-rate's lowered and they continued through the house. Once he was certain it was clear he joined Carl in the kitchen. The boy was searching for anything to eat and Glenn and Maggie came in. He nodded to them.

They moved about the house, T-Dog and Daryl returning with an all-clear. Maggie and Glenn went about moving the bodies and with the house safe, Rick went to the doors and nodded for the others to enter.

Carol, Beth, Lori and Hershel came in with their meagre possessions. Lori tried to catch Rick's eye as she entered, but he stared dead ahead, out across the trees and the driveway leading to the house. When everything was inside, he shut the doors.

They congregated in a room together and silence filled the air. No sooner had they started to settle in did T-Dog alert them to the walkers heading their way. Rick looked out at them and wanted to scream and shout and curse them, but instead he gestured for everyone to move. They ran out the back of the house, back to the cars, and raced from the area.

It wasn't long before they stopped to try and figure out a plan. Maggie and Hershel unfurled a map on the hood of the car.

"We got no place left to go." T-Dog said as Rick joined them.

"When this herd meets up with this one, we'll be cut off." Maggie said. "We'll never make it south."

"What would you say?" Daryl said, looking to Glenn. "That was about 150 head?"

"That was last week. It could be twice that by now."

"This river could have delayed them." Hershel said. "If we move fast, we might have a shot to tear right through there."

"Yeah, but if this group joins with that one, they could spill out this way." T-Dog pointed out.

"So we're blocked." Maggie said.

Rick leaned forward and pointed to the map.

"Only thing to do is double back at 27 and swing towards Greenville."

"Yeah, we picked through that already." T-Dog said. "It's like we spent the winter going in circles."

"Yeah, I know." Rick said, nodding. "I know. At Newnan we'll push west. Haven't been through there yet. We can't keep going house to house. Need to find someplace to hole up for a few weeks."

"Alright." T-Dog said, "Is it cool if we get to the creek before we head out? Won't take long. We got to fill up on water. We can boil it later."

"Knock yourself out." Rick said, turning towards the trees lining the road.

"You can't keep on like this Rick."

Rick turned to Hershel and frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Ava." Rick clenched his teeth and turned away. "You haven't let yourself grieve for her. You're repressing those feelings and it's going to drive you mad. You haven't had a conversation with anyone since the farm, haven't spoken to your boy. I can't see Ava being happy with that."

Rick turned on Hershel.

"Do you want this group to survive?"

"Of course." He said, his expression neutral as always.

"Then be thankful I am the way I am. Because otherwise we'd all be dead."

Hershel stared at him for a while before patting him on the shoulder and moving away. Rick took a deep breath, pushing away the grief Hershel had raised and forcing himself to be strong.

"Hey," Daryl said, offering a welcomed distraction. "While the others wash their panties, let's go hunt. That owl didn't exactly hit the spot."

Rick agreed to that and they left the group, heading out along he railway lines that were long-since overgrown. They walked in silence until the trees on one side cleared and they saw what was hidden beyond.

Past a stream at the base of the railway lines edge was a prison, the fences encompassing a large area of grass.

"That's a shame." Daryl said, referring to the walkers inside the perimeter of the fence. Rick stared at it, observing it and slowly but surely began to smile for the first time in months.

After returning to the camp with the good news, they went back to the prison with a plan. Rick cut the wire of the fence with the group gathered behind him, some taking out walkers milling about outside.

"Watch the backside." Rick said.

"Got it." Lori answered.

With the fence cut, Rick held it open as the group climbed through.

"Hurry. Hurry!" Rick said to T-Dog, the last one, and he went through quickly followed by Rick. Daryl and Glenn were quick about tying the opening back together while the rest of the group looked out at the prison.

They stood in a gravelled walkway between the outside and the field full of walkers. They ran down the walkway as walkers began piling against the fence, but they couldn't get to them. At the end of the walkway was a gate that they went through, leading to the front area of the prison. Rick looked up at the guard tower and the prison itself, separated from the rest of the world by three fences.

"It's perfect." He said. "If we can shut that gate, prevent more from filling the yard, we can pick off these walkers. We'll take the field by tonight."

"So how do we shut the gate?" Hershel asked.

"I'll do it." Glenn offered. "You guys cover me."

"No. It's a suicide run." Maggie said.

"I'm the fastest." He argued.

"No," Rick said. "You, Maggie, and Beth draw as many as you can over there." He said, pointing to the walkway they'd just come from. "Pop 'em through the fence. Daryl, go back to the other tower." He nodded and headed off. "Carol, you've become a pretty good shot. Take your time. We don't have a lot of ammo to waste." She nodded. "Hershel, you and Carl take this tower."

"Alright." Carl said, heading to the doors.

"I'll run for the gate." Rick said, turning to the field of the dead. He swallowed but was surprised to find he wasn't overly worried about the prospect of being alone in there. Glenn handed him a chain to hold the gate with.

"Come on!"

"Hey, come here!"

Rick heard the cries echo from Beth and Maggie, from T-Dog and Glenn. They made more noise than Rick had heard in a long time and it was hard not to feel anxious about it. Instead, he hitched the strap of his rifle higher and headed towards his gate into the field.

Lori looked at him as he drew his Python and prepared. He didn't look at her.

"Be careful." She said as she pulled the gate open. There was an upturned bus right in front of it, giving him some cover as he edged slowly into the field. Once he'd seen there were no walkers hiding behind it, he started running up the path, taking out walkers who strayed in his direction. An arrow killed a walker not that far behind him and he nodded towards the guard tower Daryl was in before continuing.

Gunfire began to fill the air and Rick skidded to a halt as a bullet cut into the ground right in front of him. He looked, wide-eyed to the guard tower before continuing and took out another walker as he reached the gate. A walker noticed him just before he reached it and was in the divide as Rick grabbed the fence. He kicked the walker back through and pulled the gate shut, securing it with the chain before turning and shooting the walkers converging on him.

There were too many of them, so he turned to the guard tower and threw the door open, killing the walkers inside and shutting the door behind him. He went right up to the top.

"Light it up!" he heard Daryl yell and they all began killing the walkers left in the field. Rick couldn't help grinning as he did it, finally having something go right since the farm. He chuckled, but immediately his mood was soured as he realised Ava would have loved to see this.

Soon the field was clear and he just stared out across it. He wanted to smile, but he couldn't.


	74. Seed: Part 2

S3E1P2

They set up camp in the field, the group feasting on the meagre animals Daryl had caught.

"Mmm." Glenn said, having picked a bone clean. "Just like mum used to make."

They chuckled.

"Tomorrow we'll put all the bodies together." T-Dog said. "Want to keep them away from that water. Now, if we can dig a canal under the fence, we'll have plenty of fresh water."

"The soil is good." Hershel said. "We could plant some seed. Grow some tomatoes, cucumbers, soybeans." He smiled, then looked up at Rick who was circling the fences, checking the perimeter. "That's his third time around. If there was any part of it compromised, he'd have found it by now."

No one spoke on this. Glenn blinked and looked down and Maggie rubbed his back, knowing what it was he was thinking about, what they were all thinking about. When they'd lost Dale, they mourned and moved on, still missing him but living their lives. With Rick constantly bereaved, constantly broken, it was difficult to find any closure over the death of Ava and, by association, Andrea.

"Bethy," Hershel said. "Sing Paddy Reilly for me. I haven't heard that, I think, since your mother was alive."

"Daddy, not that one," Maggie said. "Please."

"How about "Parting Glass"?"

"No one wants to hear." Beth said.

"Why not?" Glenn pushed.

Beth shrugged.

"Okay."

She started singing and the group listened intently, finding a moment of calm in all the unstable. Daryl and Carol rejoined the group and as Maggie joined in with Beth, Rick finally came to them too. Carl smiled at his father and handed him a bowl of food, which Rick took as he sat beside him.

"Beautiful." Hershel said when they finished.

"Better all turn in." Rick said. "I'll take watch over there. Got a big day tomorrow."

"What do you mean?" Glenn said.

Rick looked to Carl, then back up at the group.

"Look, I know we're all exhausted. This was a great win. But we've got to push just a little bit more. Most of the walkers are dressed as guards and prisoners. Looks like this place fell pretty early. It could mean the supplies may be intact. They'd have an infirmary, a commissary."

"An armoury?" Daryl asked.

"That would be outside the prison itself, but not too far away. Warden's offices would have info on the location. Weapons, food, medicine. This place could be a gold mine."

"We're dangerously low on ammo." Hershel said. "We'd run out before we make a dent."

"That's why we have to go in there. Hand to hand." He looked around at them all. "After all we've been through, we can handle it, I know it. These assholes don't stand a chance."

No one said anything and after a few moments, Rick stood and headed off to keep watch.

"Psst."

Rick slowed to a stop, turning to see Lori heading over to him.

"I appreciate everything you're doing. And we all do, but it's been a death march and they're exhausted. Can we just enjoy this for a few days?"

"Anything could happen in a few days. There's no time for a picnic."

"No, but it's time to get the house in order."

"What do you think I'm doing?" Rick said, putting his hands on his hips.

"Your absolute best."

"Don't patronize me." He growled, moving away in the hopes that she would leave him be but she didn't. She followed.

"I'm not. I'm just saying we've been non-stop for months and we haven't…we need to talk."

"About what?"

"Things we've been avoiding. Things I want to say."

"You want to talk?" Rick interrupted. "Talk to Hershel. I'm doing stuff, Lori. 'Things'?" he scoffed. "Isn't that enough?"

Lori looked down, clearly hurt, but nodded.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

He stared at her a moment longer, swallowed and walked away.

A few miles from them, a woman with a samari sword and a very pregnant woman with a spear went into a corner shop for supplies. The samari impaled two walkers through the chest and the pregnant woman spun her spear and stabbed it through both heads. After finding little, they left.


	75. Seed: Part 3

S3E1P3

"Ready?" Hershel said. The group was gathered around the gate Rick had closed the day before and he was about to open them again.

He unclipped the chain and Hershel pulled the door open, T-Dog and Daryl heading first into the courtyard and killing some walkers. Maggie and Glenn ducked in with them as they took out the walkers heading their way.

They moved back to back, circling as they made their way towards the prison block. Shouts and rattling sounded from the gate as Lori, Carl, Beth and Carol shook the fences to distract the walkers from the others.

T-Dog ran out at one point and grabbed a riot shield from the ground before quickly rejoining them, holding the dirtied plastic before him

"Almost there." Rick said, as they rounded a corner. They had to stop, however, when more started crowding in. Rick swallowed as he took in at least four walkers in riot gear. Daryl shot at one but the arrow deflected off of the visor. Rick groaned but raised his machete and started attacking one of them. It seemed to be of no use though. Everything bounced off of the riot gear.

"Daryl!" Rick yelled, seeing a massive group of walkers heading towards the unsealed gateway. Rick threw himself at the armoured walker, flooring it, before standing and launching himself at the gate. He and Daryl just managed to get it shut in time, the dead piling against it fruitlessly.

Maggie and Glenn were still struggling with the riot walkers, but as one grabbed Maggie and she was held up close to it, she managed to get a knife up under its chin. Glenn and T-Dog stared at her as she grinned.

"See that?" She said.

Immediately, Glenn pulled the walkers head back and T-Dog shoved the crow-bar up under its jaw. Daryl got another in the back of the head and Rick took down the one in the gas mask. It was on the ground when he pulled its mask off, most of its face going with it before he jammed the blade into its eye.

He swallowed hard, standing and joining the others, fighting back the images he was all-too familiar with. The ones that plagued his dreams.

With the courtyard cleared, Glenn headed towards the gate to let the others in.

"Stop." Rick said.

"Why?" Glenn said, confused. "It looks secure."

"Nothing will lead to that courtyard over there." Daryl said. "And that's a civilian."

"So the interior could be over-run by walkers from outside the prison." T-Dog said, glumly.

"Well, if there's walls down, then what are we gonna do?" Glenn said. "We can't rebuild this whole place."

"We can't risk a blind spot." Rick said. "We have to push in."

They headed into the cell block, Daryl opening the door while Rick stood ready to attack. They moved slowly into the building, the various gates and doors echoing loudly in the silence. The cell block was a mess, but there were no walkers. They moved around, searching the area. Rick went up to the monitoring station, but the guard there was dead. He took the keys from his belt.

Using the keys, they moved further into the prison, unlocking C Block and finding it again empty, though some bodies lay in the cells. On the top levels they did find walkers, but it seemed those men had been left to starve as they were locked in the cells. Daryl and Rick took them down.

As they were clearing the bodies, the rest of the group came in.

"What do you think?" Rick said.

"Home, sweet, home." Glenn said.

"For the time being."

"It's secure?" Lori said.

"This cell block is."

"What about the rest of the prison?" Hershel asked.

"In the morning, we'll find the cafeteria and infirmary."

"We'll sleep in the cells?" Beth said, sounding uneasy.

"I found keys on some guards. Daryl has a set too."

"I ain't sleeping in no cage." Daryl said. "I'll take the perch."

As they all filed off to find rooms, Lori moved over to Rick.

"Thank you." She said, but Rick just walked off.

A few more miles away, the samari and the pregnant woman headed into a deer cooler. They walked past two armless, jawless walkers chained to a post – the pregnant woman wrinkling her nose as they did – and headed into the cooler.

Immediately their attention caught on the floor.

"Andrea?" Ava said, stepping forward but Michonne raised her hand, stepping forward as she started drawing her sword. She hesitated above Andrea, then let the sword go.

"What're you doing out here?" She said.

"I needed some light." Andrea slurred, slick with sickly sweat and exhausted. Michonne reached down to help her sit up and Ava went to join them, resting her spear against the wall. Again, Michonne made Ava stay a good distance back and though she scowled about it, she didn't argue. She rubbed her swollen belly, much bigger than she had ever expected it to get, and thought of Rick.

Ava often found her mind wandering to him, wondering what it was he thought had happened. She knew he'd think they were dead.

"Ava?"

Ava blinked and looked up, looking between Michonne and her outstretched hand before reaching into her coat pocket for the pills they'd found. She handed them to Michonne, who turned to Andrea.

"Take this." She said, and Andrea obliged. Ava shifted from her knees, groaning as the joints cracked.

"How is it out there?" Andrea asked.

"Same."

"It's quiet." Ava said.

"You're lying."

Ava chuckled to herself, knowing they wouldn't be able to coddle Andrea with false hope or a sense of security.

"We should go in a few days." Michonne said, looking briefly back at Ava, her glance falling on her belly. Michonne hadn't exactly been thrilled with the prospect of having to keep a baby alive as well as Ava and Andrea, but she was a good person. She wouldn't have left her to die.

"They're coming." Andrea said, sighing. "You should go."

"No." Michonne said before Ava herself could protest.

"I'll hold you back. Go. I can take care of myself. I saved your ass all winter, didn't I?"

"I'd say it was mutual, Andrea." Ava said. "Besides, I need you. I'm not losing anyone else."

Andrea looked blearily at Ava and sighed.

"I won't have you dying for me. Good soldier won't leave your post. Screw you."

Michonne shook her head.

"We'll go in a few days." She said before standing, reaching out both hands to help Ava stand as well.

"If we stay I'll die here." Andrea said.

With that, Ava and Michone made the mutual decision to keep going. They left the cooler, Michonne guiding the chained walkers and Ava walking at Andrea's side with a scarf over her face. It was the only way either of them would accept the plan. Ava used the spear for support and gritted her teeth as another Braxton-Hicks contraction hit. She knew it wasn't labour, not yet, but it certainly couldn't be long.


	76. Seed: Part 4

S3E1P4

The next day, Rick, Hershel, T-Dog and Daryl gathered around a table of the supplies they'd found.

"Not bad." Daryl said.

"Flashbangs, CS Triple-Chasers." Rick said. "Not sure how they'd work on walkers, but we'll take it."

Daryl picked up the helmet of one of the riot suits, sticky and gross from the dead who'd been wearing them.

"I ain't wearing this shit."

"We could boil 'em." T-Dog said, holding a glove up that was dripping some decomposing liquid.

"Ain't enough firewood in the whole forest. No." Daryl said. "Besides, we made it this far without 'em, right?"

After cleaning up as much gear as they could, they started getting ready to push into the rest of the prison. Rick looked over at Carl as he put on a riot gear helmet and chuckled at how big it was. Rick headed over to him and took it off.

"You won't need that." He said, smiling softly. "I need you to stay put."

"You're kidding." Carl said, looking upset.

"We don't know what's in there." Rick said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Something goes wrong, you could be the last man standing. I need you to handle things here."

Carl still looked annoyed, but there was also fear in his eyes as he looked up at Rick.

"Sure." He said, trying to be brave.

"Great." Rick said, clapping him on the shoulder and handing him the keys. "Let's go."

Carl locked the gates behind them as the group headed into the darkness. Rick was up front, holding a torch out in front of them. Others did the same and they moved carefully through the maze of corridors. There were bodies on the ground, eaten to the bone, some just lying there as if they'd died yesterday. Glenn shook a can of spray paint and marked an arrow on the wall so they'd know which way to go to get back.

Maggie and Glenn shrieked as she turned around right into him.

"Sorry." She whispered.

They kept going, Glenn marking the way every time, but all they found were dead bodies that were staying dead. Rick's breathing was short and shallow, his heart hammering from the tension.

It seemed the tension was warranted as they turned a corner and found a group of walkers heading their way.

"Go back." Rick urged. "Go back! Move!"

They turned back and ran, the walkers growling and snarling right behind them. The panic led to chaos and the walkers were everywhere, but Rick skidded to a halt as he came across a door.

"This way." Rick yelled, pulling it open. "Come on, this way!"

They poured inside, crouching down in a huddle. Rick looked around and noticed it was only Hershel, T-Dog and Daryl who were with them.

"Where's Glenn and Maggie?"

"We have to go back." Hershel said.

"But which way?" Daryl said.

They stood slowly and left the storage room, moving quietly through the corridors.

"Maggie? Glenn?" Hershel whisper-called.

Rick, Daryl and T-Dog kept moving, but they turned when they heard Hershel scream and raced back to an adjoining corridor. Hershel was on the ground, a walker ripping a chunk from the back of his leg. Rick shot the walker immediately.

"No!" Maggie yelled as she and Glenn rounded the opposite corner. Glenn and Rick helped get Hershel up as more walkers filled the area.

"Daryl!" Rick yelled, seeing the walkers coming. Daryl moved past them and started shooting. They started down the corridors, finding a set of double doors bolted shut that they broke through and ran into.

"Shut the door!" Rick yelled as he and Glenn lowered Hershel to the ground. T-Dog and Daryl pressed against the doors, T-Dog jamming them shut with the crowbar. Hershel groaned and whimpered on the ground as Rick exposed the wound.

Panting for breath, Rick could think of only one thing to do.

"Hold him down." He said, shaking as he undid his belt and tied it around Hershel's leg above the knee.

"Alright." Rick said, turning to Hershel. "Only one way to keep you alive."

Rick grabbed the small axe from beside him and began hacking at Hershel's leg, trying not to think of anything in that moment, only succeeding and keeping him alive. Hershel passed out just before Rick had finished and as the leg came away Rick stood, dropping the axe and breathing hard.

"Oh." He said, taking a moment before kneeling back beside him. "He's bleeding out."

"Duck." Daryl said and Rick looked up, taking a moment to understand what he was saying. Rick did duck and Daryl raised his crossbow and torch, illuminating the five men also in the room dressed in prison overalls.

"Holy shit." One of the men said.


	77. Sick: Part 1

S3E2P1

Rick turned in shock to the people behind them as Daryl approached them, crossbow raised.

"Who the hell are you?" he growled.

"Who the hell are you?" One of the prisoners retorted.

Rick turned away from the men and squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't be dealing with them right now, not with Hershel in the condition he was.

"He's bleeding out. We gotta go back." He said, turning to Glenn and Maggie. "Come around here. Put pressure on the knee. Hard, hard!"

Maggie whimpered as she did as Rick said, taking his place at her fathers' knee. Her hands trembled as they fixed around the joint.

"Why don't you come on out of there?" Daryl said to the men. "Slow and steady."

They did as Daryl said, one of the men staring at Hershel and the others.

"What happened to him?"

"He got bit." Daryl said.

"Bit?" The man looked confused and reached to his waistband, pulling free a gun.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Daryl said, T-Dog immediately pulling his gun on the men. "Easy now. Nobody needs to get hurt."

The man moved the gun between Daryl and T-Dog, looking a little concerned. The four other men stood mute behind him.

"I need you to hold this." Rick said to Maggie.

"Okay." She grabbed a load of material from Glenn and pressed it to the wound.

"As hard as you can." Rick continued.

She nodded stiffly, managing to get out the word 'yes'.

Glenn stood from Hershel and marched past the men, ignoring the gun waved at him as he marched into the back area.

"You have medical supplies?" he said.

"Woah. Where do you think you're going?" One of the other men said, who was holding what looked like a broom handle or maybe a baseball bat. They all turned back to the double doors, blocked by the crowbar, as they shuddered under the weight of the dead.

"Who the hell are you people, anyway?" The man with the gun said.

"Don't look like no rescue team." A man with a large moustache said.

Rick had moved behind Hershel and was pushing him upright.

"If a rescue team is what you're waiting for," he said to the men. "Don't."

A large clatter was heard from the other room and Glenn started wheeling out a large metal table.

"Come on," Rick said. "We gotta go! Now! Come on!"

Glenn stopped the table beside them and Rick struggled to hold all of Hershel's weight.

"I need a hand here." He said, and Glenn moved to Hershels' other side, both men wrapping an arm around their shoulders and preparing to lift.

"One, two, three, go!" Rick said, rushing the words as they hoisted Hershel onto the make-shift gurney.

"Holy Jesus!" The moustached man said, seeing the severed wound fully for the first time.

"T, the door." Rick ordered.

"Are you crazy?" Glenn said. "Don't open that!"

"We got this."

T-Dog pulled the crowbar free and an armoured walker came in, but he pushed the end of the crowbar up under its chin.

"Daryl." Rick called, the archer still watching the prisoners. "Daryl!"

They wheeled the gurney out into the corridor, which was thankfully not too crowded.

"Let's go." Rick said. "This way."

They all left the room, leaving the prisoners to do as they pleased. Rick's only thought was for Hershel as they moved through the corridors.

"This way, this way." He said again, then when they turned a corner and found some of the dead he halted. "No, no, no. Back, back! Daryl."

Daryl turned and got the walker sneaking up on him and they turned a different way.

"Come on!" Daryl said, taking the lead and ushering the others along. "Go, go, go."

They moved as quietly as they could in an effort not to attract any more of the dead, but Rick stopped them at the sound of a voice.

"Follow the flashlight." They heard one of the prisoners say. They saw their shadows closing in and Rick turned back urgently.

"Come on, let's go." He said and they pushed forwards.

Finally they reached the gate and Daryl unlocked the door, holding it open as they wheeled the gurney through.

"He's losing too much blood." Maggie said, panicked.

"Open the door!" Rick yelled. "It's Hershel! Carl! Come on."

They reached the doors just as Carl was unlocking them and rolled straight through.

"Oh, my God." Lori said.

"Daddy!" Beth cried.

They moved through the cell block and pushed the gurney into one of the cells.

"Get him on the bed." Rick said and they stopped the table beside the beds. "He got bit."

"Oh, my God, he's gonna turn." Beth sobbed.

"Did you cut it off?" Carol said, running forward with an array of towels.

"Yeah." Rick said.

"Maybe you got it in time."

"Ready?"

They all reached under Hershel, Carol taking his legs, Glenn, Rick and Lori his torso.

"Okay. One, two, three."

They struggled, but managed to get him onto the bed.

"Oh! Oh, I need bandages." Carol said, her voice shaking as she unwrapped the wound.

"We used everything we had." Glenn said, his own voice breaking from the stress and fear.

"Well, get more. Anything." Carol said.

"Carl, go get the towels from the back, right next to my bed." Lori said and the boy obliged, racing from the cell.

"Is he gonna die?" Beth said.

"No, no, no. He's gonna be okay." Lori promised her. "He's gonna be okay."

"You think you can stabilize him?" Rick said, rubbing his head.

"I need to keep his leg elevated." She said. "Get some pillows!"

"He's already bled through the sheets." Maggie said, as Rick raced from the cell to retrieve said pillows.

"We can burn the wound to clot the blood." Glenn said desperately. "I can start a fire."

"No," Beth said, shaking her head. "Please don't do this."

"No," Carol echoed. "The shock could kill him. It's not gonna stop the arteries from bleeding. We need to just keep it dressed and let it heal on its own."

Carl returned with the towels and they pressed them to the wound, Glenn checking his pulse as they did. His face was pale and the pulse weak, but he was hanging in there. Just.


	78. Sick: Part 2

S3E2P2

Daryl stood waiting for the prisoners to catch up with them in the area between the two locked gates. Their cell block was locked and safe from the men, but that wasn't good enough for him.

"That's far enough." He said as they started coming through the doorway.

"Cell block C. Cell 4." The man with the gun said. "That's mine, gringo. Let me in."

"Today's your lucky day, fellas." Daryl said, holding the crossbow steady on them. "You've been pardoned by the State of Georgia. You're free to go."

"What you got going on in there?"

"It ain't none of your concern."

"Don't be telling me what's my concern." The man said angrily, pulling the gun free again.

"Chill, man." Another of the men said. A tall, black man. "Dude's leg is messed up. Besides, we're free now. Why are we still in here?"

"The man's got a point." Daryl drawled.

"Yeah, and I gotta check on my old lady."

"A group of civilians breaking in to a prison you got no business being in?" The gunman said. "Got me thinking there ain't no place for us to go."

"Why don't you go find out?"

"Maybe we'll just be going now." The moustached man said, turning away.

"Hey, we ain't leaving."

T-Dog came around the corner, cocking his gun and holding it on the men.

"You aren't coming in either." He said.

"Hey, this is my house, my rules. I go where I damn well please." The gunman said, pointing his gun between T-Dog and Daryl.

The words echoed, and in the Cell Block they all looked up at the sound.

"What was that?" Carl said.

"Prisoners, survivors. It's all right." He said when he saw the looks on everyone's faces. "Everybody stay put."

He moved out of the cell, gesturing for Glenn to follow. Rick stopped him a little way from the others.

"Do not leave his side." Rick told him quietly. "If he dies, you need to be there for that. You think you can do this? Maggie will be there."

Glenn looked down and swallowed, nodding resolutely.

"I got it."

"I can bring T in-"

"I got it." Glenn repeated.

Rick nodded.

"Good."

Then he ran to the locked gate and went through, Carl locking it behind him.

"There ain't nothing for you here." Rick heard Daryl growling. "Why don't you go back to your own sandbox?"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Rick said, coming around the corner. "Everyone relax. There's no need for this."

The man with the gun looked towards the cell block.

"How many of you are in there?"

"Too many for you to handle." Rick said. The man looked between them all.

"You guys rob a bank or something?" He said. "Why don't you take him to a hospital?"

That caught Rick by surprise and he, T-Dog and Daryl all exchanged a look.

"How long have you been locked in that cafeteria?" Rick said eventually.

"Going on like 10 months." The man held the gun steady, but his face was a picture of confusion as he looked between them all. Rick looked down and nodded.

"A riot broke out." The larger man said. "Never seen anything like it."

"Attica on speed, man." The moustached one said.

"Ever heard about dudes going cannibal, dying, coming back to life?" Another said. "Crazy."

"One guard looked out for us, locked us up in the cafeteria." The gunman said. "Told us sit tight, threw me this piece, said he'd be right back."

"Yeah," The larger man said. "And that was 292 days ago. We were thinking that the army or the national guard should be showing up any day now."

"There is no army." Rick said bluntly.

"What do you mean?"

"There's no government, no hospitals, no police. It's all gone."

"For real?" The moustached man said after a beat of stunned silence.

"I'm serious."

"What about our mum's?" One of the men said.

"My kids?" Said another. "And my old lady? Yo, you got a cell phone or something that we can call our families?"

"You just don't get it, do you?" Daryl growled. Rick looked down again, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No phones, no computers." He said. "As far as we can see, at least half the population has been wiped out. Probably more."

There was more stunned silence and the gun man lowered his gun.

"Ain't no way." He said.

"See for yourself." Rick said, gesturing to the gate.

They led them to the courtyard they'd cleared and followed them outside.

"Damn, the sun feels good." One of the men said.

"Good lord. They're all dead." The moustached man said, looking at the bodies that littered the ground.

"Never thought I'd be so happy to see these fences." Said the gunman.

"You never said," a shorter black man said. "How the hell did you get in here in the first place?"

"Cut a hole in that fence over there by that guard tower." Daryl said.

"That easy, huh?"

"Where there's a will there's a way."

"Easy for you to say."

The large man poked one of the bodies with his stick.

"So what is this, like a disease?" he asked.

"Yeah, and we're all infected." Rick said.

"What do you mean infected?" The moustached man asked. "Like AIDS or something?"

"If I was to kill you, shoot an arrow in your chest, you'd come back as one of these things." Daryl said, pointing to the body. "It's gonna happen to all of us."

"Ain't no way this Robinhood cast's responsible for killing all these freaks." The gunman said. "Must be 50 bodies out here. Where'd you come from?"

"Atlanta." Rick said.

"Where are you headed?"

"For now, nowhere."

The gunman looked around, surveying the area with the look of a man who thought he was in charge.

"I guess you can take that area down there near the water. Should be comfortable."

Rick nodded to himself, more than happy to knock this man down him his imagined position of authority.

"We're using that field for crops."

"We'll help you move your gear out." The man said.

"That won't be necessary." Rick said. "We took out these walkers. This prison is ours."

The man scoffed.

"Slow down, cowboy."

"You snatched the locks off our doors." The shorter black man said.

"We'll give you new locks, if that's how you want it." Rick said.

"This is our prison. We were here first."

"Locked in a broom closet?" Rick said, scoffing. "We took it, set you free. It's ours. We spilled blood."

"We're moving back into our cell block." The man said stubbornly. Rick wanted to punch him in his stupid, smug face, but he refrained.

"You'll have to get your own."

"It is mine. I've still got personal artefacts in there." The gunman pulled his gun out once more. "That's about as mine as it gets."

Daryl raised his crossbow on the man again and T-Dog pulled his handgun free, stepping forwards. But so did the moustached man. He raised his hands and tried to calm both sides.

"Maybe let's try to make this work out so everybody wins." He said.

"I don't see that happening." The gunman said.

"Neither do I." Rick said, staring hard at the man.

"I ain't going back in that cafeteria for one more minute."

"There are other cell blocks." The moustached man said.

"You could leave." Daryl spat. "Try your luck out on the road."

The gunman looked around, assessing the situation. Part of Rick hoped he would attack and that scared him. He wanted an excuse to fight, to do something to work out his anger. He swallowed.

"If these three pussies can do all this, the least we can do is take out another cell block." The gunman said eventually and Rick swallowed, both glad and disappointed.

"With what?" Another said.

"Atlanta here will spot us some real weapons. Won't you, boss?"

Rick stared at him long and hard.

"How stocked is that cafeteria?" He said. "It must have plenty of food. Five guys lasting almost a year?"

"It sure as hell don't look like anybody's been starving." Daryl said.

"There's only a little left."

"We'll take half." Rick said. "In exchange, we'll help clear out a cell block."

"Didn't you hear him?" The shorter man said. "There's only a little left."

"Bet you got more food than you got choices." Rick said. He didn't point out that they likely had a lot more food than their group did. "You pay, we'll play. We'll clear out a block for you, then you keep to it."

"Alright." The gunman said, nodding.

"Well, let's be clear. If we see you out here anywhere near our people, if I so much as even catch a whiff of your scent, I will kill you."

The man's lip twitched like he wanted to punch Rick, but he didn't.

"Deal." He said.


	79. Sick: Part 3

S3E2P3

With the deal struck, the men led Rick, Daryl and T-Dog back to the room where they removed Hershel's leg.

"Pantry's back here." The gunman said.

"You never tried to break out of here?" T-Dog said, looking around the room.

"Yeah," One of them said. "We tried to take the doors off. But if you make one peep in here, then those freaks'll be lined up outside the door growling, trying to get in. Windows got bars on there that he-man couldn't get through."

"Bigger than a 5x8." The moustached man said.

"You won't find me complaining. Doing 15. My left leg can barely fit on one of those bunks."

"Yeah, they don't call him Big Tiny for nothing."

"You done jerking each other off?" The gunman said, leaning on the door frame. "Sick of waiting back here."

Rick rested his hand on the barrel of his gun and followed them into the back. When they reached the area with all the food, Rick's jaw dropped at the amount there was. Daryl took one look and turned to glare at the gunman.

"This what you call a little bit of food?"

"Goes fast."

"Mm-hmm."

"You can have a bag of corn, some tuna fish-"

"We said half." Rick said, cutting him off. "That's the deal."

"What's in there?" Rick said, gesturing to another room. He opened the door and immediately gagged, staggering back and slamming the door shut again.

"He wanted to know." The gunman chuckled.

"Can't wait for my own pot to piss in." The moustached man said.

Rick, Daryl and T-Dog started grabbing supplies immediately and ferried them back to the cell block.

"Food's here." He called as they approached the gate.

"What you got?" Carl asked excitedly as he unlocked the gate to let them in.

"Canned beef, canned corn, canned cans." T-Dog said. "There's a lot more where this came from."

"Any change?" Rick asked as he passed Hershel's room.

"Bleeding is under control and no fever, but his breath is laboured and his pulse is way down and he hasn't opened his eyes yet." Lori said.

"Take my cuffs, put them on him." Rick said, turning as Glenn could grab them from his belt. "I'm not taking any chances."

Once Glenn took them Rick handed the bags of corn to T-Dog.

"So what about those prisoners?" Lori asked. Rick looked to her briefly.

"We're gonna help them clear out their own cell block, and then they'll be there and we'll be here."

"Living beside each other."

"I'm not giving up this prison." Rick said resolutely. He couldn't imagine losing this place after everything they'd done to get, after having that feeling of happiness for the first time in months that he had found a place to keep the group alive. He shook his head before his thoughts could wander to Ava again.

"Do they have guns?" Lori asked, distracting him.

"I only saw one." The look on her face said it all. "Yeah, I don't know if it's gonna work."

"Well, what are your options?"

"Kill them." He said honestly.

"If that's what you think is best."

"You say this now…" Rick scoffed, rubbing his head.

"Look, I know that I'm a shitty wife and I'm not winning any mother of the year awards, but I need you to know that not for one second do I think there is malice in your heart. You're not a killer, and I know that. I know that, so do whatever you gotta do to keep this group safe. And do it with a clear conscience. Although…"

Rick looked up at her.

"Although what?"

Lori stared at him for a moment, then shook her head and sighed.

"Would killing them be doing what's right or what's easy?"

Rick blanched, his jaw tightening at the reminder of Ava's words. The memory of her saying them at that meeting filled his head and he squeezed his eyes shut to try and force it away.

"Why're you quoting her?" He growled. Lori swallowed.

"I've been thinking about her a lot since the farm. How I was shitty to her because she was perfect and I wasn't. I felt like she was replacing me, but she was a good person and I wish-"

"Stop." Rick said, shaking his head. "I don't want to hear it. I can't."

"Rick, you can't keep pretending it didn't happen. Everyone knows you haven't dealt with this. You don't sleep and when you do you have nightmares. You think of nothing but the job of keeping us alive. It's not healthy and it's certainly not what Ava would have wanted-"

"Don't say her name." Rick said, his hands shaking with anger and despair. "Don't you ever say her name again."

Lori pursed her lips and Rick moved away, slowly calming his breathing as he forced everything away. Tears fell unwelcomed down his cheeks and he brushed them away, turning and seeing the forced avoided stares. He didn't want to admit that Lori was right. The pain was still there, the wound so fresh it felt like the blade was still in it, twisting and carving his heart to pieces. He rubbed his chin and stormed away, pushing his grief aside as he had done so many times before.


	80. Sick: Part 4

S3E2P4

Rick, T-Dog and Daryl went into the adjoining area of the cell block and the prison, a number of weapons on the table that the prisoners helped themselves to. The gunman picked up a crowbar.

"Why do I need this when I got this?" he said, holding the gun up.

"You don't fire guns," Daryl said. "Not unless your back's up against a wall. Noise attracts them. It really riles them up."

"We'll go in two by two." Rick said. "Daryl will run point with T. I'll bring up the rear with you." He pointed to the shorter black man. "Stay tight, hold formation no matter how close the walkers get anyone breaks ranks, we could all go down. Anyone runs off, they could get mistaken for a walker, end up with an axe to the head."

"And that's where you aim." Daryl continued. "These things only go down with a head shot."

"Ain't gotta tell us how to take out a man." The gunman said, exchanging a look with Rick's new partner.

"They ain't men." Rick said. "They're something else. Just remember to go for the brain."

He grabbed his own weapon – his machete – and they headed out into the corridors, taking it slow.

"Man, it's too damn dark in here." One of the men said.

"Gotta hold it up high out in front of you." Daryl said, regarding their torches. "You're gonna hear them before you see them."

"It's coming!" The moustached man said loudly.

"Shh!" Rick growled.

They heard the growls of the walkers first, then saw their shadows ambling towards them and around the corner. Daryl started doing a slow and steady count, but the men raced forward, yelling, before they could do anything else. Rick, T-Dog and Daryl watched as the five men tore into the walkers, beating and kicking them and doing nothing particularly useful in terms of killing them. Rick couldn't hide the disgust he felt as he watched them and the three exchanged a look.

Once the prisoners had finished, having almost exhausted themselves in the process, they kept moving down the corridors.

"It's gotta be the brain. Not the stomach, not the heart." Daryl leased an arrow as a walker rounded the corner and it went down. "The brain."

"I hear you. The brain." The moustached man said.

Another walker came round and one of the prisoners bashed an axe into its head. "Like that?"

"Uh-huh." Daryl said.

The moustached man stepped forward and stabbed another one in the head with a stick. Rick stepped forward to get the final one and stabbed his machete through its eyes.

"Stay in tight formation. No more prison riot crap." He said as more of the dead flooded towards them. Most of the prisoners did as Rick said, stepping forward and standing close together as they killed the walkers. Another – Big Tiny – backed away from the whole thing. He got cornered by a few walkers and one of them, having scraped the skin from its hands getting it out of handcuffs, stabbed its bony implement into his back.

Big Tiny screamed and Rick ran forward, killing one of the walkers. The gunman fired three shots at the other one before Rick could take it and he stared at him, mad. When he looked back at Big Tiny he saw the blood on his hand from the wound and knew it couldn't be good.

He got the man to turn around and held a flashlight to the wound. His should was torn to shreds by the raw bone and his wound was filled with walker blood. Rick breathed deep.

"I'm telling you, I don't feel anything." He said. "It's just a scratch."

"I'm sorry, man." Rick said.

"I can keep fighting!" He pressed.

"You cut that old guy's leg off to save his life." The shorter man said as if suggesting they could do the same again.

"Look at where the bite is." Rick pointed out.

"Guys, I'm fine!" Big Tiny yelled. "Just…I'm fine." He quietened. "Look at me. I'm not changing into one of those things."

"Look, man, there has to be something we can do." Another prisoner said. "We could just lock him up."

"Quarantine him." The moustached man suggested.

"We gotta do something. Why you just standing there? We gotta save him."

"There's nothing we can do." Rick said.

"You son of a bitch." The shorter man said, shaking his head.

"I'm all ri-" Big Tiny started to say, but he was cut off by the gunman hitting him over the head with a crowbar. He looked once at Rick before bending over the downed man and hitting him over and over again, blood flying everywhere, coating the man. Big Tiny's head became nothing but a pile of mush. The gunman walked off and Rick watched him go, swallowing hard.

The group kept moving through the corridors, slower and more cautious now with the loss of Big Tiny. Daryl and Rick lingered at the back of the group, watching the gunman,

"You see the look on his face?" Daryl said.

"He makes one move…" Rick said.

"Just give me a signal." Daryl finished.

They reached another room with the windows to let light in. It was a laundry room and was mercifully clear of the dead. They could hear them though. The groans and moans echoed from behind a pair of double doors. Rick threw the keys to the gunman's feet.

"I ain't opening that." He said.

"Yes, you are." Rick said. "If you want this cell block, you're gonna open that door. Just the one, not both of them. Because we need to control this."

The gunman huffed and picked up the keys, sharing a look with the shorter black man.

"You bitches ready?" he said, as he unlocked the door. Rick didn't miss the man he shared a look with backing away. The gunman tugged the door twice but it didn't move.

"I got this." He said before throwing both doors wide open.

"I said one door!" Rick yelled.

"Shit happens."

As they were fighting, the gunman swung his blade and missed a walker, the blade continued to almost hit Rick. He ducked to the side, barely missing the blade. The gunman was forced to find a new plan and got behind a walker, throwing it at Rick. The momentum caused him to fall under its weight and he struggled to hold it off of him as the gunman watched.

"T, mind the gap." Daryl yelled, pushing past the gunman and stabbing the walker in the head, pulling it off of Rick. Daryl took his hand and pulled him up, the group coming to a standstill as the dead all fell.

Rick stared at the gunman, who shrugged nonchalantly.

"It was coming at me, bro." he said.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Rick said, sniffing and staring at him. "I get it. Shit happens."

Rick stared at the man for a long time, the two of them holding a tense silence. He knew what he had to do though. He swung his machete.

"No!" the shorter prisoner said, running at Rick with a baseball bat, but Rick had already buried the machete blade into the gunman's skull. He watched in shock as his leader fell to the ground then cried out as he continued to charge. Rick kicked him in the leg and he fell.

"Easy, now." Daryl said, raising his crossbow. The man looked afraid and raced down the corridor they'd just cleared.

"I got him." Rick said, racing after him as T-Dog and Daryl dealt with the other prisoners.

Rick followed him relentlessly and nearly lost him in one area, but then he heard a door slam open and sunlight flooded from one direction. Rick ran to the door and saw the man had run out into a courtyard full of walkers. Rick saw the situation from the doorway and as the man turned back, Rick slammed the gate shut.

"Let me back in, man." He said. "Let me back in!"

Rick stared at him, seeing how afraid he was, but he didn't want to help him, not after what had just happened.

"You'd better run." He said.

The man turned, panting in fear, and Rick shut the main door with his screams echoing, hammering in his ears.

Doing what is right or what is easy. Would Ava approve?

Rick shook his head, dislodging the words, and returned to the others.


	81. Sick: Part 5

S3E2P5

The final two prisoners were on their knees and Rick seethed as he held a gun on one of them

"We didn't have nothing to do with that." He said.

"You didn't know? You knew. Daryl, let's end this now." Rick turned to the other man.

"Sir," he said, sobbing. "Please, please, listen to me! It was them that was bad. It wasn't us."

"Oh, that's convenient." Rick growled.

"You saw what he did to Tiny. He was my friend. Please, we ain't like that. I like my pharmaceuticals, but I'm no killer. Oscar here, he's a B and E, and he ain't very good at it neither. We ain't the violent kind, they were! Please, I swear to God!" The moustached man sniffed. "I wanna live!"

Rick turned, putting the gun back on Oscar.

"What about you?" Rick said.

"I ain't never pleaded for my life. And I ain't about to start now. So you do what you gotta do."

Rick stared at him, but again Ava's words echoed in his head. He didn't believe these men were evil and he couldn't kill them just because it was the easy thing to do. He lowered his gun and they did as they said they would: they took the last two men to the cell block they had promised them.

"Oh, man." The moustached man said as the entered, looking around at the dead on the floor. "I knew these guys. They were good men."

"Let's go." Rick said, turning away.

"So you're just gonna leave us in here? Man, this is sick." Oscar said.

"We're locking down this cell block." Rick said. "From now on, this part of the prison is yours. Take it or leave it. That was the deal."

He headed back to the corridors.

"You think this is sick?" Daryl said. "You don't wanna know what's outside."

"Consider yourselves the lucky ones." Rick added.

"Sorry about your friends, man." Daryl said before following Rick out of the block.

"A word of advice." T-Dog said. "Take those bodies outside and burn them."

When they returned to the cell block, Rick found Glenn and Carl stood outside Hershel's cell.

"Hershel stopped breathing." Carl said. "Mum saved him."

"It's true." Glenn said. Rick walked over to Carl and gave him a brief hug before heading into the cell.

"Still no fever." Lori said.

Rick looked down at the man on the bed and thought he looked better than he had before. He shifted and Maggie sat on the bed beside him, watching intently as he opened his eyes.

"Daddy?" Maggie said. Beth knelt down beside them.

"Daddy. Daddy." She sobbed, taking his hand. Rick leaned down and uncuffed his hand. He reached up to Rick, much to his surprise, and he took the old mans' hand, kneeling down beside him. He smiled at Maggie and Beth, feeling a hint of that joy from the day before return.

"Come here." Rick said to Beth, giving her Hershel's hand before he left the cell, heading up to the walkway above the courtyard. He looked down on their new home and let himself think of Ava.

He did this sometimes. When he was alone and things had been particularly trying, he'd let himself think of her and smile. When the tears started to flow, he'd push them away again. His eyes had just started to water when he noticed Lori coming across to see him. He wiped his eyes and sniffed.

"We'll start cleaning tomorrow." He said.

"Yeah. It'll give Carl a safe place to do whatever he does these days." She said, smiling a little.

"For the record, I – I don't think you're a bad mother."

"Well, wife is a different story." Lori said, laughing weakly. Rick stared at her for a moment then looked away.

"I know, Rick. I…I know we're not married anymore. It's like a cruel joke for me to call myself your wife. I should try to stop, but it's hard…"

Rick stared out across the fields.

"For better or worse, right?" He said. Lori chuckled.

"I mean, what are we gonna do?" She said. "Hire lawyers and get divorced and split our assets?"

Rick snorted.

"We got food. Hershel's alive. Today was a good day."

"He'd be dead if it weren't for you." Rick said.

"You're the one that acted fast." Lori said, shaking her head. "If you hadn't done what you did…"

They fell into silence once more and Lori turned to look at him, even as he refused to look at her.

"I know you don't want to hear it, Rick, but you need to grieve. Everyone's worried about you. Carl is worried about you and you and Daryl have become close because he knows how you feel."

"Who would have thought he cared so much about her." Rick said, trying to chuckle but not quite managing it.

"I think he saw her as a sister. And it's Daryl we're talking about. Of course he didn't show how much he cared."

This time he did chuckle.

"I'm serious Rick. This isn't good for you. I'm not expecting you to move on, but you have to say goodbye."

Rick said nothing, his fingers laced between the loops of the fence. After few seconds he let go of the fence and reached out to Lori, putting a hand on her shoulder whilst keeping as much distance between them as he could. He didn't look at her.

"We're awful grateful for what you did." He said, patting her gently before letting go and leaving her on the walkway. 


	82. Walk with me: Part 1

S3E3P1

Ava watched with wide eyes as a helicopter plunged into the trees nearby. She, Andrea and Michonne had been on the move for days without any signs of the living, but now they had a helicopter. It reminded her of when she and Rick had arrived in Atlanta and seen a helicopter. For all she knew, it was the same one.

Her heart twisted at the thought of Rick, but she swallowed her grief as Michonne came to their side. Andrea was the first to start moving towards the crash, a decision made without saying a word. Michonne didn't look sure about it, but Ava followed and so she had to.

The smoke made it easy enough to find though they nearly lost it in the trees, but eventually they came to the crash site, both Andrea and Ava breathing deep from the trek. Ava had taken to holding her stomach the way a person might cradle a very heavy and large watermelon. It made the weight less painful, but not by much.

Andrea bent forwards and threw up and Michonne took her arms, helping her stand as she coughed.

"Don't push yourself." She said. "You'd better sit."

Andrea was too weak to protest and Michonne led her to the edge of some bushes so she could sit. Then she chained the walkers to a tree and beckoned for Ava to join them.

Ava waddled over to the bushes and, with Michonne's help, sat down beside Andrea.

"Scarf." Michonne said, and Ava pulled the scarf back over her face, giving Andrea an apologetic look. She shrugged it off. Then Michonne pressed a gun into Ava's hand.

"I'll check it out." She said.

Ava wanted to protest, but nodded anyway. Being pregnant had forced her to accept that sometimes she had limitations and that it was okay to admit them. Andrea coughed again and Ava rubbed her back. They both watched Michonne edge towards the crash, her hand always on her sword.

Ava stiffened when she heard engines rumble and Michonne ran back over to them.

"Someone's coming." She whispered, crouching down beside them.

"Any survivors?" Andrea said.

"Two dead, not sure about the other."

They watched as a group of cars pulled up around the crash and a large number of people exited the vehicles. Ava felt her heart jump, hoping for a moment that Rick or any of the group would be among them, but she saw no one she recognised and knew it was silly to hope.

"Fan out." A voice said. Ava watched the man who spoke wonder around. He had dark hair and pale but tanned skin. From this distance that was all she could tell about him. One of the other men raised his weapon on a walker nearby.

"Save those rounds until you need 'em." The other man said, clearly the leader of the group. Another man took out the walker, using a bow and arrow instead. Ava swallowed, thinking of Daryl. She missed him and pretty much everyone else in the group terribly.

Andrea folded over herself, trying to subdue a cough and Michonne rubbed her back. Ava watched anxiously but although the dark-haired man came closer, he didn't appear to see them.

Another man with a baseball bat went about killing the other walkers who came over and Ava watched him carefully.

"Got a breather." The leader said and they all turned to the helicopter again. He was beside the open door. "Tim!"

The man known as Tim came around the front of the helicopter.

"Help me out here." The leader said and they reached inside to aid with the survivor.

Ava turned as a growl echoed, one different to Michonne's walkers. Michonne grabbed her sword but Andrea grabbed her arm.

"No." She said, looking to a man with a machine gun walking nearby. She was right. If any of them moved they would be seen. Ava moved closer to the others and the walker ambled past.

"Over here, Shumpert." One of the men said, and the man with the bow and arrow shot it.

"Drag him out." The leader said, and he and Tim lifted the survivor from the helicopter and moved him to the grass.

"He's saving them." Andrea said, struggling to breathe. "We should show ourselves."

"Not yet." Michonne said.

"I'm not one to trust strangers," Ava said. "But I don't think we have much of a choice here."

Michonne looked at her and knew she was referring to Andrea's illness and Ava's condition. They didn't have a lot of choice if it came to continue struggling alone or have help.

After laying down the survivor, the leader looked up and turned towards one of the dead men. He pulled free a knife as he looked down on the man, sighed, then knelt down and stabbed him in the head. Ava frowned. He turned to the helicopter to do the same to the others.

Michonne's walkers began to growl and writhe, agitated by something. Andrea suppressed another cough and Ava rubbed her back again. One of the men turned to look at the sound, raising his weapon, and his stance got the others looking the same way. Ava took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

Michonne pulled her sword free and Ava stared at her as she crouch-ran to her walkers and decapitated them. The men continued to stare, but apparently saw nothing. Michonne returned to their side and Ava swallowed. She knew those walkers meant something to Michonne, but what was a mystery, as with most things regarding Michonne.

The men continued to stare for a little longer, but the leader calmed his stance and turned to the others.

"Let's roll out." He said, and Ava sighed in relief, lowering her stance. She flicked the safety back on to her gun. Then a twig snapped behind them. Michonne went to attack, but a voice stopped her.

"Uh-uh-uh." A man said. A man with a very familiar tone. "Easy does it, girl. Mine's a whole lot bigger than yours."

Andrea looked around, catching Ava's eye. She knew who it was too. She would, considering she'd spent more time knowing him than Ava had.

"Now put down your weapons."

Ava cursed under her breath but put the gun aside, Michonne reluctantly lowering her sword to the ground.

"That's it. Nice and easy." Michone let go of the sword. "And let me see your hands."

Andrea raised her hands, as did Ava.

"Now spin around. That's it. Nice little twirl around."

Andrea turned and looked up at Merle.

"Oh, holy shit. Blondie!" he said, staring down at her. He hadn't changed much since Atlanta, though he had less of a white trash look about him.

"Damn," he said. "You're looking good."

A walker came up beside him and he skewered it on a blade that was strapped to his hand. Well, his stump. Ava swallowed as she remembered what they'd found when they went back for him.

"Now, how's about a big hug for your old pal Merle?" he said, standing up.

Andrea sighed and fainted, Michonne hovering over her as she checked she was okay. That was when Merle's attention turned to Ava. His eyes widened.

"Posh? Well fancy this."

Ava glowered up at him.

"Something's different about you. Did you change your hair? Change your clothes? Eat a planet?"

Ava glowered some more.

"Oh, something tells me it's a long story." He grinned.


	83. Walk with me: Part 2

S3E3P2

Andrea didn't stir again until they were well on their way to wherever they were going. Merle had called his friends back and though the men weren't hostile, they also weren't going to let them go. Ava couldn't tell if this was a bad sign or if they were genuinely concerned about Andrea dying or Ava having to give birth on the road. Either way, they'd been in a car for hours.

"Have Stevens prep the infirmary." The leader said into a radio.

"How many?" Was the returning answer. Andrea stirred beside them. Ava could feel it, but she couldn't see it. They were all blindfolded, something that made her feel even more uncomfortable.

"Four. One with multiple fractures and severe burns. Another in and out of consciousness, probably shock and dehydration. Another heavily pregnant."

"A female? What about the third?"

"She's fine."

"Another female?"

Ava didn't like this apparent focus on their genders. It made her uneasy.

"Three. Found them hiding in the woods. Bringing a homework assignment for you, so open the lab."

"Do tell."

"At the gates in five minutes. Get off the radio." The leader said.

"Well, what is it?"

"Now, Milton."

Ava saw nothing as they were brought in. Was it a camp, a settlement? She couldn't tell.

"Ava?"

Ava turned in the direction of Andrea's voice.

"I'm here. You alright?"

"Michonne?" Andrea said, ignoring Ava's question.

"Right here."

They didn't speak again as the car was stopped. Hands pulled them from the cars, though not rough ones, and they were marched into a building and through it into a room. When the blindfolds were finally taken off, they appeared to be in some makeshift hospital.

The nurse focused on Andrea, who looked the most sick, but she made it clear that they wouldn't be leaving the settlement until Ava was seen to.

"Hold that." The nurse said after taking some blood. Andrea held the cotton bud in the crook of her arm and the nurse took the thermometer.

"Why are we being held here?" Andrea said. "We wanna leave."

"You're not well enough. And your friend is heavily pregnant." The nurse said. "And it's dark. You should stay the night."

"Where is it we'll be staying the night?" Ava said. "Where are we?"

"That's not for me to say." She said, looking between the three of them. "He'll talk to you."

"Who?" Michonne demanded.

Before she could answer, Merle came in.

"Go check on your patient, Doc." He said.

As the nurse left, Ava moved from her place leaning against the wall and sat on the bed beside Andrea, sighing in relief to be off her feet. She rubbed her belly as her child kicked vigorously, bruising her liver.

"Bet you was wondering if I was real." Merle said, moving to grab a chair and put it in front of them. "Probably hoping I wasn't."

Ava looked between Merle and the two men guarding their door, watchful and alert. Their weapons were gone and Ava found herself wishing the dagger was still at her side. It's the first time she'd been away from it since her fall down the gorge.

"Well, here I am." Merle said, grinning. "I guess this old world gets a little smaller toward the end, huh? Ain't so many of us left to share the air, right?"

Ava thought of Hailey and Luke and Riley and knew he was wrong, but she didn't say anything.

"You know," Merle continued, sitting in his chair. "When they found me, I was near bled out. Starving. Thinking to myself a bullet might make a good last meal. Take myself a nice long nap after. Wait for Daryl on the other side. You seen my brother?"

"Not for a long time." Andrea said.

"Makes two of us."

"We went back for you." Ava said, folding her arms over her belly. "Me, Rick and Daryl. And Glenn and T-Dog. We all went back to get you but you were already gone."

Merle smirked.

"Well not all of me." He said, pulling the metal cover off of his arm and showing the heeled stump.

"That was your own fault." Ava said. "All you had to do was wait a day."

Merle glared.

"Rick, huh?" Ava stiffened. It had been months since she'd heard anyone speak of him. It made her chest ache. "He's that prick that cuffed me to the rooftop."

"With good reason." Ava said, glowering at him. "He's a good man. He tried to save you. Daryl saw that."

"He's always been the sweet one, my baby brother." Merle said, nodding to himself.

"He wanted to keep looking," Andrea said. "And things happened, people died. A lot of them. Jim, Dale, Jacqui, Sophia." Ava blinked back tears at the thought of Sophia. "Amy."

"Your sister?" Merle said after a second.

"Yes."

Merle nodded to himself, looking less smug and more human than Ava had ever seen him.

"She was a good kid." He said. "I'm sorry to hear it."

"There were more. A lot more. We had to leave Atlanta. We wound up on a farm. And Daryl stepped up. Became a valued member of the group." Andrea said, smiling.

"Now he's dead." Merle said.

"He's not dead." Ava said resolutely. "A herd attacked the farm and we were separated from the group, but they survived. I know it. We saw at least half of them get off the farm."

"How long ago?" Merle asked.

"Seven, eight months." Andrea said, looking to Michonne for confirmation. She nodded. Ava was surprised to find it had been that long and even more distressed at the realisation that she had to be almost nine months gone.

"Was the baby daddy in the group?" Merle asked Ava. She rubbed her belly instinctively.

"Yes."

Merle frowned, regarding her carefully.

"It isn't Daryl, is it?"

Ava chuckled for the first time in a while.

"No it wasn't." She chuckled again. "I can only imagine what his face would have been like had he heard you say that."

Merle smiled and Ava shook her head.

"Who is the daddy then?"

Ava pursed her lips, her amusement dying.

"Why do you care?"

"I don't, but I want to know."

Ava said nothing, looking down at her belly and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Was it Rick?"

Ava looked up at him, shocked. Merle burst out laughing.

"Good old Officer Friendly." He snorted. "I thought he had a family. What did he say? 'All I am is a man looking for his wife and son.' Guess that didn't work out so well."

"Carl and Lori were his family." Andrea said. "And Shane was his best friend."

Merle stared at her for a moment, then started laughing again.

"Then I can't say I blame him for finding ass elsewhere."

Ava rolled her eyes but said nothing. She didn't want to talk about Rick anymore. It only brought her pain.

"What do you want from us?" Andrea asked.

"Damn." Merle said, standing and looking at Michonne. "There she sits, four walls around her, roof over her head, medicine in her veins, and she wants to know what I want from her." He turned to Andrea. "I plucked you two and your mute here out of the dirt, blondie. Saved your asses. How about a thank you?"

"You had a gun on us." Michonne said, scowling at Merle.

"Ooh, she speaks." He chuckled. "Who ain't had a gun on 'em in the past year, huh? Show of hands, y'all. Anybody? Hmm? Shumpert, Crowley. Y'all had a gun on y'all?" He looked around the room. "Hell I think I'd piss my pants if some stranger come walking up with his mitts in his pockets. That'd be the son of a bitch you'd really want to be scared of."

"Thank you." Andrea said, cutting him off. Michonne stared at her.

Seconds later, a door at the back of the room opened and the leader stepped out.


	84. Walk with me: Part 3

S3E3P3

The leader went to Merle first, whispering something in his ear that they couldn't make out. Merle nodded.

"Sure thing." He said.

"How you feeling?" The leader said to the group.

"We want our weapons." Michonne said, rounding on him.

"Sure." The leader said. "On your way out the front gates."

"Show us the way." Andrea said, standing behind Michonne. Ava turned so she was sat on the end of the bed but she didn't feel like standing until she absolutely had to. "You've kept us locked up in this room."

"You see any bars on the windows?" the leader said. "You're being cared for."

"Under guard." Andrea said.

"To protect our people. We don't know you." He said.

"We know enough about you to want out of this place." Andrea said. "We watched you drive a knife into the skulls of two dead men. What the hell was that all about?"

The leader frowned.

"They turned."

"They weren't bitten." Michonne said. Ava had a feeling she knew what was coming as he shared a look with Merle.

"Doesn't matter." He said, sighing. "However we die, we all turn."

Ava looked away from him, trying to process this new information. Her first thought was of Rick and the others? Did they know? Had they figured this out yet or were they in danger because they didn't know?

"I put them out of their misery." He continued. "It's not easy news to swallow at first, but there it is. You're not prisoners here, you're guests."

He moved past the others, past Ava at the end of the bed and stood near her.

"But if you wanna leave, as I said, you're free to do so. But we don't open the gates past dusk. Draws too much attention." He turned to Andrea. "And you especially, you need a solid night's sleep. You wouldn't last another day out there in your condition."

He turned to Ava.

"I have to recommend you stay here with us. You won't last much longer out there in your condition, and once you've given birth you need a safe place for your child. You won't find it out there."

Ava swallowed but said nothing. She didn't know what to do. She distrusted them as much as Michonne and Andrea did, but he was right. Could they risk trying to find another place in the short time she had left?

"I'll have you brought over to my place in the morning." He continued. "Return your weapons. Extra ammo, food for the road, some meds, keys to a vehicle if you want one."

Ava looked to Michonne, as did Andrea. If they were going to leave, a car would be vital and would greatly improve their chances of finding someplace to have the baby.

"Send you on your way." The leader said as he headed out of the door. "No hard feelings."

Ava jumped down from the bed as they were ushered to move and groaned at the pain that shot through her back. Merle looked at her but she ignored him, walking stiffly after the others.

"Welcome to Woodbury." He said, and they looked out across a dark street lit by torches. It was very empty, but it was also clear of walkers or dead bodies.

"Come with me." The leader said, heading down the steps. They followed, Ava cupping her belly as she was used to doing. Merle and the other men followed them. She noticed Merle hovering at her side but gave no inclination that she had noticed. She looked up as they passed a massive gate lined with guards on either side.

Ava hung back with Michonne, exchanging a glance with her. Merle ran forward and up onto the guard platform.

"Go relieve Pete at the back gate." He said to someone up there. "I'll take the spotlight."

"Are you military?" Andrea asked.

"Hardly." The leader said. "Couple of vets, but by and large we're self-trained."

"That's heavy artillery they're packing."

"Some men arrive with guns, but most of the weapons are scavenged over time."

"And the other side of town? The rest of the streets?" Andrea said, turning to him. "They're all guarded like this?"

He nodded.

"It can't be."

He turned to her.

"It can and it is."

Ava moved closer to the gates, eyeing them. They were secure and it seemed a good place. She could see herself having her child there, but then she thought of Rick and him not being there and realised why she was so desperate to keep moving. She wasn't looking for a safe place. She was looking for Rick.

She rubbed her arms, looking down and fighting back tears as she tried to make herself realise she would not see him again, at least not before the baby came.

"Got us a creeper, Governor." Merle said, drawing their attention to a growling behind the wall. "May I?"

Merle took a gun from one of the other guards and thanked him as he angled up the shot.

"Governor?" Andrea said. "They call you that?"

"Some nicknames stick whether you want them to or not."

"That's not a nickname." Ava said, looking at him. "That's a title. There's a difference."

Merle shot.

"Got him. He brought his buddies."

Two more shots fired.

"Clear." He said.

"We'll get them in the morning." The Governor said. "Can't leave them to rot. Creates an odour. Makes people uneasy."

"What people?" Andrea said. "There's nobody here. It's a ghost town."

The Governor smirked.

"This way."

The Governor led them to a room with a large bed inside. Ava stared at it as if she were looking upon heaven.

"You'll be more comfortable here." He said. "Not the Four Seasons, but there's a hot shower. Water's limited, so keep it short. We've got food, water, fresh clothes. Hope this works."

There were three piles of clothing on the bed. Ava stepped forward to look at them.

"Took a while to find some clothes that might fit you." The Governor said to Ava. "But these should do."

"Thanks." Ava said, glad at the thought of being out of the clothes she was in. She'd been wearing the same oversized mans' shirt for months and even that was beginning to strain.

"I know you'd feel better with your sword, more secure, but you're safe here."

"We appreciate it." Andrea said as she sat on the bed. "What about the pilot? Will he make it?"

"Well, Dr. Stevens is doing all she can." The Governor said. "Now, I know you got a lot more questions, but I got work to do. My man will be outside the door if you need anything else. I'll see you tomorrow."

He left and Michonne stared out the door at the man standing guard until the Governor was gone. Then she slammed it shut.


	85. Walk with me: Part 4

S3E3P4

"It's real." Andrea said as they were led through the busy streets. Woodbury by day was a lot more alive than by night and Ava thought it was wonderful to see these people surviving. She felt better than she had in months: clean and safe – to a degree. She was also in new clothes that comprised of a pair of actual maternity trousers and an oversized knitted jumper. She wasn't too hot in it though, the material thin and loose, and she wore a tank top underneath as the shoulder had a habit of falling down.

"You two were out there for a long time." Their guide said. "While you were, the Governor was doing this."

"How many people do you have here?" Andrea asked. Ava's eyes caught on a pregnant woman who walked by, her stomach not quite as swollen as Ava's.

"73." Their guide said. "Eileen's about to pop, so her kid will make it 74. And if you stay, I suppose you and your kid will make it 76."

She smiled at Ava, but Ava found she couldn't smile back. This place was wonderful, but she didn't want to stay here. She wanted to find Rick. Again she tried to tell herself to be sensible and stay for the sake of her child, but the idea of never finding Rick felt like it would break her heart.

"It's still a work in progress, but Rome wasn't built in a day." The guide said.

"That's a bold comparison." Andrea said.

"I think we've earned it. Walls haven't been breached in well over a month. We haven't suffered a casualty on the inside since early winter."

"How's that possible?"

"Our Governor set a strict curfew. Nobody out after dark. Noise and light are kept to the bare minimum. Armed guards on the fence and patrolling the perimeter to keep the biters away."

"I saw what your patrols do on the way in last night." Andrea said, intriguing Ava since she'd seen nothing. "They had a dead one strung up like an ornament."

The guide sighed. Ava couldn't remember her name and didn't want to ask again.

"I won't make excuses, but those men put their lives at risk every day to protect this town. They've lost more than a few friends out there. Everybody copes in their own way. But I'll raise it with the Governor."

Andrea exchanged a look with Michonne, who clearly wasn't happy about the situation. She didn't trust it. Ava trusted her friend more than these people and kept her guard up.

The woman led them to the Governor's home and took them inside. The table was set for five, one seat already taken by a man with glasses. He smiled at the newcomers and Ava smiled back. She didn't get any hostile feelings from his man. The Governor welcomed them and gestured for them to take their seats. Ava didn't hesitated in sitting down, Michonne moving a lot more cautiously.

"Seven months?" The Governor said, bringing eggs over to the table. "Hard to believe you ladies lasted so long out there."

"Because we're women?" Andrea said as he scooped eggs onto her plate.

"Because you were alone."

"We had each other."

He chuckled.

"Three against the world, one pregnant. It's long odds."

"We managed." Andrea said firmly.

"Oh, we're impressed."

"Very." The other man said, smiling again. Ava was distracted by Michonne though, who was staring behind her. Ava turned subtly and saw she was staring at a glass cabinet inside which were their weapons. Her spear was propped beside it.

"Survival in the wild is tough sledding." The Governor said. "Wake up every morning on the ground wondering if today is the day. Will it be quick and final or slow and, well, without end? If someone had the good sense to kill my brain or will I come back as one of them?"

"Do you think they remember anything?" The other man asked as the Governor sat down. "The person they once were?"

"I don't think about it." Andrea said. The man nodded to himself.

"Milton believes there might be a trace of the person they were still trapped inside." The Governor explained as they ate. Ava wolfed down her food, starving as always.

"Like an echo." Milton said, handing out tea. "Surely it must have crossed your mind."

"At one time, yeah." Andrea said, thinking back to Amy. "Right before it tried to bite me."

"And then you killed it?" Milton pressed. "I say "it" only because no one here likes to refer to them as him or her."

Andrea stared at him and he seemed to sense the sensitive issue. He turned to Michonne.

"The two you had in chains, who were they?"

She said nothing staring hard at her food.

"The way you controlled them, used them to your benefit. You did know them, didn't you?"

She turned to him when he said that, staring at him with fury in her eyes. Ava put down her cutlery.

"I don't think you're going to have any luck finding people in the dead." She said, drawing Milton's attention. He frowned.

"Why's that?"

Ava cleared her throat, washing down her food with some tea.

"We went to the CDC not long after the outbreak. A month or so in?"

She looked to Andrea, who nodded.

"There was only one doctor left there. He showed us what he knew about the infection. He said it feeds on the brain like meningitis, slowly killing it. The reanimation process only brings back part of the brain. I don't remember which bits – the brain stem, I think – the rest of the brain, the bit with us in it, is dead."

They mulled over this for a moment.

"Wouldn't this doctor have known about everyone being infected?" The Governor asked, frowning at Ava. "Maybe he got some things wrong?"

"He didn't." Ava said, firmly. "He might have known, but there wouldn't have been much point in telling us." Ava continued when she got questioning looks. "The CDC ran out of power. He locked us in, thought it would be better if we died in that quick, painless second when the building exploded. We managed to convince him to let us go…"

Ava trailed off, remembering that Doctor Jenner had whispered something to Rick before they escaped, that had shocked him. Was it that they were all infected? Had he known all along?

There was silence as everyone processed this.

"So what you have here, you expect it to hold?" Andrea said, changing the subject. "What if a herd comes through?"

"It'll hold." The Governor said.

"What's your secret?" Andrea pressed.

"Really big walls."

They all chuckled weakly.

"That soldier had walls too and we all know how that turned out, so…"

"I guess we do." The Governor said. "The real secret is what goes on within these walls. It's about getting back to who we were. Who we really are. They're just waiting to be saved. And people here have homes, medical care, kids go to school, adults have jobs to do. There's a sense of purpose. We're a community."

"With a lot of guns and ammunition." Milton added.

"Never hurts." The Governor said.

"And really big walls." Andrea finished.

"And men willing to risk everything to defend them. Compromise our safety, destroy our community, I'll die before I'll let that happen." The Governor said. Andrea stared at him.

"Looks like you're sitting pretty at the end of the world." Andrea said.

The Governor gave her an amused look.

"Do I strike you as the kind of man that sits pretty? You reap what you sow. We're the seed. Now winter has passed, it's time to harvest."

"Time to hope?"

"We're going out there and we're taking back what's ours. Civilization. We will rise again. Only this time we won't be eating each other."

Andrea looked around the table, slowly smiling, then raised her cup.

"To civilization, then."

The Governor raised his cup with her, but a knock at the door distracted him from the conversation.

"Excuse me." He said.

"How's the tea?" Milton asked.

"It's great." Ava said, smiling. In truth, she was too hungry to truly appreciate the tea. The food they'd had was much more than she was used to, but she was still starving. She guessed eating for two meant hunger was a given.

The man who knocked whispered to the Governor before he shut the door.

"Sorry to cut breakfast short, but this can't wait."

Immediately Michonne stood.

"We want our weapons." She said, staring hard at him.

"Well, we can make these meals to go and your weapons will be waiting outside but you should take time to relax. Get your strength back. Have a look around. Who knows? You might like what you see."

Ava stood, the last one to get up, and the Governor looked at her.

"You should at least get a scan. We've got the equipment here to do it. Wouldn't you want to know that everything's okay?"

Ava swallowed and nodded. Even if they were to leave, if she had the chance to know everything was okay, she would take it. The Governor nodded.

"I'll have someone come fetch you for the scan when there's time. For now, just take things easy."


	86. Walk with me: Part 5

S3E3P5

They walked down the streets of Woodbury and back towards their room. There were people everywhere and the normality of it was simultaneously distressing and relieving.

"I don't trust him." Michonne said.

"Why not?" Andrea said. "Have you ever trusted anybody?"

"Yeah."

"Then give this a day or two, that's all I'm asking." Andrea said, turning to Ava. "You must at least be considering staying here?"

Ava rubbed her belly.

"Considering it, yeah." She said, though her tone was distrusting. Andrea sighed.

"At least it'll give us some time to get our shit together."

"My shit never stopped being together." Michonne said.

"I don't think mine ever has been." Ava said, chuckling to herself.

"Didn't look that way when Milton asked about your walkers. I'm surprised he didn't get a fork in his eye."

"It was none of his damn business."

"I guess it's none of mine, either." Andrea stopped and turned to Michonne. Ava stopped beside her. "Seven months together, all we've been through, I still feel like I hardly know you."

Michonne stared at Andrea.

"I'm sorry, it's the truth. Come on. You know everything about me – about us. Ava, back me up."

Ava sighed.

"She's not wrong Michonne."

"You know enough."

Andrea sighed, as did Ava. Michonne's lack of information didn't bother Ava as much as it did Andrea, but she was curious still.

"Those walkers were with us all winter long, protecting us, and you took them out without any hesitation. And that had-"

"It was easier than you think." She said, but her tone quivered and she looked momentarily like she was about to cry. She didn't though. She just kept moving.

A little while later, Ava was escorted to the lady who'd tended to Andrea the first time.

"I wondered how long it would be until I saw you." She said as Ava sat on the bed. "If I were you, there wouldn't be a chance in hell of me leaving this place."

"You're not me." Ava said. "So you can't know what I've been through, what I've lost or why I would be considering leaving."

The woman gave her a look and tutted, but said nothing more. Woodbury did indeed have a scanner and seeing it gave Ava a strange sense of déjà vu. She'd never had the chance to be scanned like this and somehow it was this moment, as the woman squirted cold gel on her stomach, that made her pregnancy real. Whether she liked it or not, she would be having a baby soon. Very soon.

The doctor put the wand on her stomach and the screen flickered to life.

A while later Ava left the appointment with photo's of the scan, dazed. She swallowed her shock when she heard trucks haring into Woodbury and went to see what the commotion was.

"Ava!"

Ava turned to see Andrea pushing her way through to her.

"How was the appointment?"

"Er…" She trailed off, looking up as the Governor climbed onto a truck clearly to say something. "I-I'll tell you later."

"We brought in four new people yesterday." The Governor said, cutting off any further questioning from Andrea. Ava folded her arms over her bump. "One was a helicopter pilot with a National Guard outfit. Even though he's clinging to life, he told us about his convoy on the highway, his men. I promised I'd bring them back here alive. But they didn't have our walls or our fences. Biters got there before we did."

Ava looked down, then frowned at the Governor.

"Now, the men had trucks, the trucks had weapons, food, medicines, things we need. Now, we didn't know them, but we'll honour their sacrifice by not taking what we have here for granted. Won't be long before dark, so go on home. Be thankful for what you have. Watch out for each other."

Ava bit her lip, still frowning. There was something about him that struck her as off. She turned to Andrea to see if she saw it too, but she saw smiling genuinely, sucked in to it all and Ava began to fear they wouldn't get away from this place anytime soon.

As the Governor climbed down, Ava went over to Michonne who stood and headed towards them.

"What did you think of that?" Ava said.

"I still don't trust him."

Ava sighed.

"I hate to say it, but neither do I." She rubbed her eyes as she struggled not to cry, tears dribbling down her cheeks regardless. "I really wish it wasn't true. I wish this place was as perfect as it seemed…"

She rubbed her eyes again.

"Ava, what is it? Is it the baby?" Michonne asked, gathering her fear was more pronounced than ever. She put a hand on her shoulder and Ava sighed, shaking her head and fighting back the tears. "Is something wrong?"

"No." Ava said, smiling. "They're absolutely fine. But I do mean 'they'."

Michonne's eyes widened then fell shut as she realised what Ava meant.

"I'm having twins."


	87. Killer within: Part 1

_Authors note: Hi guys! I'm so grateful for your support and suggestions for my story and I'm really glad you like it! I'm just writing to let you know that from this episode on, I'm going to be changing the plot just a little :) be ready for knew characters and altered plots, though I intend to stick to the general progression shown in the TV show. I hope you enjoy it! :)_

S3E4P1

Living in the prison had been a strange adjustment, but a welcomed one. They'd begun to make it their home and for the first time in months, Rick had something else to occupy his mind. He did wonder, when nightmares broke his sleep and he woke remembering Ava was gone, what would occupy his time once the prison was set up. Mostly he tried not to think about it.

For now, they were arranging the cars.

"Okay, let's get the other car in." Rick said, standing behind the upturned bus. Daryl, T-Dog and Carol had already brought in two of the cars. "We'll park 'em in the west entry of the yard."

"Good," Daryl said. "Our vehicles camped out there look like a giant "vacancy" sign."

The three started following Rick back up the path to the prison. He looked out over the field.

"After that, we need to load up these corpses so we can burn 'em."

"Gonna be a long day." T-Dog said.

"Where's Glenn and Maggie?" Carol asked. "We could use some help."

"Up in the guard tower." Daryl said.

Rick turned and looked up at said guard tower, frowning.

"Guard tower? They were just up there last night."

"Glenn!" Daryl yelled. "Maggie!"

Someone stood up inside the tower, followed by movement that led to Glenn opening the door. He edged around it, shirtless, putting his trousers back on.

"Hey, what's up, guys?" He said innocently. They all chuckled at him.

"You coming?" Daryl said.

"What?"

Rick laughed again, a wheezy chuckle.

"You comin'? Come on, we could use a hand."

"Yeah, we'll be right down."

They turned away, heading back towards the cars and laughing to themselves.

"Hey, Rick." T-Dog said, drawing his attention to the other side of the prison. Rick's good humour instantly melted away. The prisoners were stood by the fence looking down on them.

"Come with me." Rick said to T-Dog, he and Daryl following him as he headed towards them.

The prisoners moved past the fence, to the opening were they were exposed and could get in to the rest of the prison. Rick gritted his teeth.

"That's close enough." He said. "We had an agreement."

"Please, mister." The moustached man – whose name was Axel – said, just as Glenn and Maggie came out of the guard tower behind them. "We know that. We made a deal. But you've gotta understand we can't live in that place another minute. You follow me? All the bodies, people we knew. Blood, brains everywhere. There's ghosts."

"Why don't you move the bodies out?" Daryl said.

"You should be burning them." T-Dog added.

"We tried. We did."

"The fence is down on the far side of the prison." The other man – Oscar – said. "Every time we drag a body out, those things just line up. So dumping a body and just running back inside."

"Look," Axel said, approaching Rick. "We had nothing to do with Tomas and Andrew. Nothing. You trying to prove a point? You proved it, bro. We'll do whatever it takes to be part of your group. Just, please, please. Don't make us live in that place."

"Our deal is not negotiable." Rick said stiffly. "You either live in your cell block, or you leave."

"I told you this was a waste of time." Oscar said bitterly. "They ain't no different than the pricks who shot up our boys. You know how many friends' corpses we had to drag out this week? Just threw 'em out, like. Humph. These were good guys. Good guys who had our backs against the really bad dudes in the joint, like Tomas and Andrew. We've all made mistakes to get in here, chief. And I'm not gonna pretend to be a saint, but believe me we've paid our due, enough that we would rather hit that road than to go back into that shithole."

Rick stared at them for a moment, then turned to Daryl, who shook his head. The deal was not negotiable, like Rick had said. Daryl chained the gate shut again once the prisoners were on the other side.

"C'mon, dude." Axel said as Daryl walked away to the others.

"Are you serious?" Rick said to T-Dog, who'd expressed concerns with the situation. "You want them living in a cell next to you? They'll just be waiting for a chance to grab our weapons. You want to go back to sleeping with one eye open?"

"I never stopped." T-Dog said, shaking his head. "Bring them into the fold. If we send them off packing, we might as well execute them ourselves."

"I don't know." Glenn said. "Axel seems a little unstable."

"After all we've been through?" Carol said. "We fought so hard for all this, what if they decide to take it?"

"It's just been us for so long." Maggie added. "They're strangers. I don't…It feels weird all of a sudden to have these other people around."

"You brought us in." T-Dog said to her.

"Yeah, but you turned up with a shot boy in your arms. Didn't give us a choice."

"They can't even kill walkers." Glenn said.

"They're convicts," Carol pointed out. "Bottom line."

"Those two might actually have less blood on their hands than we do." T-Dog countered.

Rick looked down, acknowledging that that was probably true.

"I get guys like this." Daryl said. "Hell, I grew up with them. They're degenerates, but they ain't psychos. I could have been with them just as easy as I am out here with you guys."

"So are you with me?" T-Dog said.

"Hell, no." T-Dog turned to him. "Let 'em take their chances out on the road just like we did."

"What I'm saying, Daryl-"

"When I was a rookie," Rick said, cutting of T-Dog. "I arrested this kid. 19 years old. Wanted for stabbing his girlfriend. The kid blubbered like a baby during the interrogation, during the trial. Suckered the jury. He was acquitted due to insufficient evidence, and 2 weeks later shot another girl. We've been through too much. Our deal with them stands."

With his point made, Rick marched away from the group, followed by Daryl, Glenn and the others, leaving T-Dog alone in his beliefs.


	88. Killer within: Part 2

S3E4P2

In Woodbury, Ava stuck by Michonne's side. Andrea seemed all too happy to mingle with the other survivors and while that would be good for her and her babies, she still felt uneasy. She didn't trust the place and therefore couldn't know who to trust.

Andrea had been shocked when she'd told her about the twins, but she hadn't been surprised considering how large she was. Telling her, however, had only cemented Andrea's desire to make her stay at Woodbury. Ava knew they had few options. It might be that she'd have to stay despite everything.

They walked past the trucks that had gone out the day before and Michonne ran her fingers along holes in the bodywork. Ava frowned at them as she climbed onto it, testing the mounted gun and checking it for ammo. It was clear that truck had bullet holes in it and they looked pretty fresh. Ava swallowed her discomfort.

Michonne looked down and touched something, showing Ava a smear of fresh blood before she jumped down.

"Pretty amazing." The Governor said, startling them as they moved from behind the truck. "If we had more ammo we could cut down a whole pack of biters."

Michonne just stared at him.

"That's the thing isn't it?" Ava said. "Ammo's worth more than gold used to be."

He nodded.

"I hear you two and Andrea are leaving today. That's a shame. We could use a soldier like you. Both of you, despite the pregnancy you've been doing well. I hear everything's healthy?"

Ava nodded.

"Thank God for that." He said, grinning. "Twins, right? You know, it would be so much better if you stayed, not just for us but for your babies."

So much of doctor-patient confidentiality, Ava thought.

"Seems like you're holding your own." Michonne said. "Even the National Guard was overrun."

"No amount of training can prepare you for the world today." The Governor said.

"You'd think one soldier would drive away, especially against something so slow." Michonne pointed out.

"Those men were heroes." The Governor said smoothly. "Not the kind to leave anyone behind. If only we'd gotten there sooner and you were with us."

He moved around them, behind them, and Ava's spine prickled uneasily.

"Lots of bullet holes." Michonne said, turning to him. "You think biters figured out how to use weapons?"

The Governor scoffed.

"They must have encountered bandits weeks ago. It's ugly out there, but then you know that better than anyone."

"It's too bad what happened to Wells." Michonne said. Ava swallowed. They'd heard that morning that the soldier had passed away from his injuries.

"It is." The Governor nodded. "Dr. Stevens couldn't revive him. Merle put a bullet in his brain."

"No funeral?"

"We cremated him, quietly. These people have been through so much, I figured, thank God, at least no one knew him."

"Thank God." Michonne said darkly, touching Ava's arm as she moved away. Ava followed, her heart hammering in her chest.

"We can't stay here." She said once they were out of earshot. "Andrea can pressure me all she wants, but this place isn't safe."

"No it isn't." Michonne said. "The sooner we leave the better. With you having twins, you're probably going to give birth prematurely."

Ava nodded.

"When Hailey was pregnant she thought she might have been having twins. Our mother was a twin. It seemed to skip a generation in our family. She read up on it before she even had her first scan, so I learnt a bit."

"It never occurred to you that you'd have twins?" Michonne said, frowning at her.

"Maybe it did and it was just too much to comprehend. It's bad enough trying to keep one baby alive in this world, let alone two."

Michonne rubbed her shoulder.

"We'll make it. All of us."

She nodded, smiling at her friend, and rubbed her unusually still stomach and tried not to think about all the signs of impending labour that she was mounting up.

Later that afternoon, Andrea joined them in the bedroom. Ava spent most of her time sitting or lying down, though it felt incredibly foreign and wrong to do so. She was making the most of being able to rest while she still could.

"If we leave soon, we'll get a few hours on the road before dusk." Michonne said, looking over the few maps they'd found.

"Where are we heading?" Andrea said. Ava didn't miss how unenthusiastic she sounded.

"I'm thinking the coast." Michonne said. "We have the water completely on one side, maybe we find a boat. Best thing we can do is find an island."

"And if the coast isn't safe?" Andrea said.

"Keep moving."

"We can't really do that, can we?" Andrea said, looking to Ava. She narrowed her eyes at her friend, unwilling to be dragged into this.

"We'll make it work." Michonne said. "There're three of us. We can look after two babies just fine."

"None of us have any experience looking after babies." Andrea argued.

"I do." Michonne said, staring hard at Andrea. Her mouth gaped a little, but she didn't say anything. Neither did Ava. She'd guessed as much from the way Michonne had acted towards her: at first distant and pained, eventually protective. Andrea cleared her throat.

"Suppose the coast is safe. Then what do we do? Just grow old, live off the sea by ourselves?"

"I'd rather take my chances out there than stay here." Michonne said.

"Because your gut tells you there's something off about this place." Andrea sighed. "About the Governor?"

Michonne looked up at her.

"It's kept us alive this long."

"That's true." Andrea said, nodding.

"It's not just Michonne, Andrea." Ava said. "I don't trust this place. And if I want to leave heavily pregnant with twins, surely you can see how deep that concern goes?"

Andrea said nothing, clearly thinking, but Ava was beginning to think there wouldn't be much that would convince her friend. She turned to look at the maps regardless.


	89. Killer within: Part 3

S3E4P3

"Move the cars to the upper yard." Rick said, he, Glenn, Daryl, T-Dog, Carol and Maggie heading back down to the main gates. "Point them facing out. They'll be out of the way but ready to go if we ever need to bail."

Glenn ran ahead with the keys for the gates. Rick turned to T-Dog.

"We'll get the prisoners. A week's worth of supplies for the road."

"It might not last a week."

"It's their choice." Rick said.

"Did they really have one?" T-Dog muttered.

"Hey, hey." Rick stopped him. "Whose blood would you rather have on your hands? Maggie's, Glenn's, or theirs?"

"Neither." T-Dog said before moving past Rick. He sighed and rubbed his neck. Whose side would Ava be on here? She had a nack at seeing the truth in people. If she'd been there and said they should give the prisoners a shot, he might have been convinced to do so. But she wasn't here.

"Twin cylinder." Axel said, looking at Daryl's bike as he climbed onto it. "Is that a Triumph?"

"Don't even look at it."

"Didn't want it bored out?" Axel continued as Daryl started the engine and pulled away. "Sounds like it could use a tune-up. I'm pretty handy with the grind. Heads are leakin'. I know my bikes!"

After giving the prisoners some food and supplies, Glenn rejoined Rick and Daryl by the hole in the fence. Glenn went through the first, followed by the others. There was a walker across the river and Glenn raised his gun.

"Should I take her out?" he asked Rick.

"No. If that armoury hadn't been picked clean, we could spare the ammo."

"I'll start making runs." Daryl said as they headed down the line. "The sooner the better."

"We'll throw as much wood as we can in the dog run."

"Won't the fire attract more walkers?" Glenn said. "Maybe we should bury them."

"We're behind the fence." Rick said. "It's worth the one-time risk to get rid of the bodies for good. I don't want to be planting crops in walker-rotted soil."

Daryl kept an eye on the hole while Rick and Glenn piled their arms high with wood, carrying it back to the fence. Daryl held the hole open as they ducked through.

"Looky here." He said, and they looked back up to the prison to see Hershel and the others. He was walking on the crutches they'd found. Glenn chuckled, dropping the wood in the walkway.

"He is one tough son of a bitch." He said, grinning. Rick smiled and dropped his wood as well

"Alright, Hershel!" Glenn yelled.

"Shh!" Daryl said. "Keep your cheers down."

"Oh, man. Can't we just have one good day?" Glenn groaned.

Rick went to the edge of the fence and looked up at the old man, smiling. Carl was at his side grinning as well and it warmed Rick's heart. Hershel was right. He hadn't been spending enough time with his son. He'd been selfish. He was determined not to be again.

Carl smiled down at him, but then he turned and Rick saw what he was looking at. Walkers in the cell block.

"No!" he yelled, immediately racing down the walkway.

"Get out! Get out of there!" Rick yelled. "No! Carl!"

Gunfire echoed as those in that area shot the walkers, but there were too many of them. The group scattered. Rick and Daryl ran as fast as they could but they couldn't make the short cut straight across. They had to follow the walkway. It was too long, too much. Carl was shooting at the dead.

"Come in here!" Rick yelled, be he doubted anyone heard.

They reached the end of the walkway, but the gate was locked. Rick skidded to a halt.

"The lock!" He yelled.

"Hurry up!" Daryl called, not far behind. "The lock! Keys!"

Glenn threw the keys to Daryl, who then threw them the distance to Rick. They got to the gate, gunfire still echoing all around, and Rick fumbled with the bunch.

"Come on!" He yelled at no one in particular. Finally he got the gate unchained and they ran through, leaving Glenn to lock it behind them. The prisoners were stood there, staring dumbly at what was going on.

"Get out of my way!" Rick growled as he went for the lock. "Come on, come on!"

Rick managed to calm his nervous enough to stop his hands from shaking and undid the second lock, pushing the gate away.

"Hey, bro, what about us?" Axel yelled after them. They didn't bother locking this gate, too preoccupied by the walkers attacking their people. Rick's people. He had promised to protect them, but he was failing. He had failed, not only them, but Ava too.

He couldn't lose Carl, not after everything. He was the only thing he had left in this world.

Andrea held a map out to Merle and Ava watched with narrowed eyes. She hadn't been overly happy with Andrea's decision to give this to Merle, but knew it was the right thing to do. Besides, she was certain Daryl would stop him from killing Rick if he tried. Hell, she would too.

"I circled where you can find that farm we were staying at with Daryl."

Merle took the map and looked at it.

"Ah, you were right off Route 9 right before it becomes Dahlonega Highway." He turned back to Andrea and Ava. "And you're saying that the farm is only about a day's walk from there?"

"Give or take." Andrea said.

"This is where we looked for Sophia." Ava said. "Or they looked for Sophia. I was at the bottom of a gorge at the time."

Merle looked at her with a cocked brow.

"How come we never hooked up?" he said. Ava scoffed.

"I met you on that roof, remember? Didn't have must time for such things."

"'Such things'? God, Posh, you're so posh. Shame about that little mishap on the roof. We could have made quite the team."

Ava raised her brows.

"Sure. I'll let you dream, but it sure as hell ain't gonna happen now."

He cocked a brow at her again.

"Now you're sounding like my baby brother."

Ava fought back a smirk.

"What about you blondie? Why'd we never hook up?"

"You called me a whore and a rub muncher."

Merle chuckled.

"Got a way with words, don't I?"

"Yeah."

He looked at the two of them.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked.

"I'd want the same thing if it was my family out there." Andrea said. "And it's not just your family. It's Ava's too."

He turned to her.

"You're coming with me, are you?"

"I sure as hell hope so. I want to find my family, my friends. I want my babies to be surrounded by people I trust."

Merle noticed her emphasis on the word trust, but he was more caught up by a different word.

"Babies? Is in more than one?"

"The Governor didn't tell you? I'm having twins."

"Well, I'll be Goddamned." He stared at her a moment longer, then looked to Andrea. "Sure you don't wanna come too? You ain't curious about the old gang?"

Andrea shook her head, pulling out a water bottle. Ava gritted her teeth. This was something else they'd often disagreed about: Andrea, subconsciously or not, held a grudge against the others for not finding them. Ava knew damn well that they wouldn't have abandoned them without good reason.

"Oh yeah," Merle said, chuckling. "You really was cut loose, weren't you?"

"I'm sure they came back." She said, unconvincingly. "We didn't stick around to find out."

"Ain't that a big ol' pig sack?" Merle grinned. "We got something in common. We got left behind by the same people and saved by another."

Ava gritted her teeth against speaking up. It was unnecessary. She didn't have to defend Rick to this asshole.

"Have you ever thought about leaving this place?" Andrea said. Merle sighed.

"Never had a reason to."

"So the Governor is a good man?" Andrea pressed.

"Let me just put it this way. I wasn't in the best of shape when he found me. He should have just kept on going. Yeah, he's a good man." Merle said, nodding to himself as he moved down the alleyway. He stopped at the end and turned. "I'll talk to the Governor about going to find Daryl. If he gives the say-so, I'll take you with me."

Ava nodded her thanks, then frowned.

"Would you really not go if he said no?"

Merle stared at her for a moment, then turned and left them.


	90. Killer within: Part 4

S3E4P4

Rick, Glenn and Daryl finally made it to the courtyard and raced in, shooting the walkers that were left.

"What the hell happened?" Rick yelled. Hershel and Beth were stood behind fences nearby.

"The gate was open!" Beth said.

"Where's Carl, everyone else?" Rick pressed.

"Maggie led Lori and Carl into C block." Hershel said.

"And T was bit!" Beth added.

"Anyone else?"

"I couldn't tell."

"Stay put." Rick said, turning to join the others as they took out the final walkers. The gate was re-locked by a belt now, but the remains of the chain were on the floor.

"Those chains didn't break on their own." Glenn said. "Someone took an axe or cutters to 'em."

Rick turned, looking at the prisoners who'd followed them up there.

"You think they did it?" Glenn said.

"Who else?" Rick growled.

Before he could do anything else, a loud siren began droning from the walls of the prison. Glenn went to cover his ears.

"What's that?" he said.

"Oh," Daryl groaned. "You gotta be kidding me!"

Rick looked out across the field and saw the walkers stumbling out of the trees, heading for the fences.

"Daryl!" Rick yelled, shooting one of the speakers. Glenn shot another, but the sound didn't stop.

"How the hell could this be happening?" Rick spun, turning his gun on the prisoners.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa!" Oscar said. "It has to be the backup generators."

"Well, how do you turn those on?"

"There're three that are connected to a diesel tank, okay?" Oscar continued, ignoring the weapons trained on him. "Each one controls a certain part of the prison. The hatch shut them all off when the prison was overrun."

"Can someone open up the main gates electronically with full power?" Rick demanded.

"I only worked in a few days. I guess it might be possible."

Rick grabbed the front of his jumpsuit.

"Come with us!" he yelled, and the five of them raced off towards the prison.

They ran into the cell block, which had a few walkers in it but not many. Rick shot them and when he was certain there were no more, he looked around.

"Carl!" he yelled. "Lori!"

Daryl and the others ran in behind him as he struggled to breathe. He couldn't stop thinking about Carl and wondering if he was still alive, his son, the only thing he had left in this world.

"We just took down five of 'em in there." Daryl said.

"There were four in here, but no sign of Carl or anyone." Rick said, joining them.

"They must have been pushed back into the prison." Glenn said. Rick panted.

"Somebody is playing games!" he growled. "We'll split up and look for the others. Whoever gets to the generators first, shut 'em down!"

"Let's go!" Glenn said, the five raced out of the Cell Block once more. They ran towards the corridors where they'd first found the prisoners, splitting into two groups before they did. Rick, Daryl and the prisoner Oscar eventually reached the maintenance room. They were closely followed by walkers and Rick spun, shooting one as he barged through the door.

"Daryl, Get the door!" he yelled.

Daryl and Oscar held the doors shut and Rick looked around. The hum of electricity sounded from the machines in the middle of the room. Rick held his gun high as he scanned the machines, the walls. He went to a panel of dials and levers but hadn't the faintest idea what to do with them.

"How do you shut these down?!" Rick yelled.

"Go help him." Daryl said. "I got it."

Oscar ran across, pointing to a barrel above a cabinet marked diesel fuel.

"Right here." He said and Rick reached up, twisting the lever on the hose. The machinery immediately hummed down and stopped, but the sirens continued. He went to another panel but movement caught his eye.

It was Andrew, the other prisoner Rick thought dead. He managed to duck aside just before an axe landed on his head. The axe hit the machine and sparks shot out of it. He kicked Oscar aside and went for Rick again, but Rick grabbed the handle of the axe, wrestling over it.

Rick was pinned to a generator, fighting of the other man as he tried to force the handle against his throat. Daryl couldn't help, too busy trying to keep the walkers out. Rick managed to twist the handle and nut Andrew in the head with the end of it. He pushed him into a wall, then threw him into some lockers, pushing against him with all his might.

Unfortunately, Andrew managed to nut his as well and Rick fell back. He grabbed his gun but Andrew knocked it aside before he could fire, the gun skittering away. Rick went for it but the other man jumped on top of him, wrestling him.

Daryl lost control of the door and skidded back, grabbing his crossbow and shooting one walker, then stabbing another in the head before shutting the door again.

Rick was almost done for, Andrew raising the axe at his back, but Oscar threw an empty barrel at him, knocking him off balance. Rick watched as Oscar grabbed Rick's gun and held it on him. Rick stood and held his hand out, trying to convince the man not to kill him.

"Shoot him!" Andrew said behind him. Rick didn't turn. He kept his attention on Oscar. "We can take back this prison."

Oscar stared, wide eyed at the two men before him.

"What you waiting for? Do it! It's our house. Shoot him!"

Oscar changed his aim and shot. Rick flinched as the bullet passed him and hit Andrew, but he immediately held his hand out again.

Oscar stared hard at Rick, gun still raised, but as Daryl inched over to him with his knife in hand, Oscar released the gun and handed it back to Rick. He took it, nodding to the man. He then turned and switched two levers off which stopped the rest of the machines and cut off the sirens.

"Let's go." He said.


	91. Killer within: Part 5

S3E4P5

Ava sighed as she looked at Michonne. The woman wasn't entirely happy with Ava's plan.

"Look, I'm not saying it's going to happen, but if Merle is going to find Daryl and therefore Rick and the others, I have to go with him."

Michonne pursed her lips.

"Nothing is set in stone. I doubt the Governor will even let him go and we'll just head to the coast like you said."

Michonne sighed. Ava came to the bed and sat beside her, nudging her arm.

"I'd really like it if you came with us though. I'd like some company that isn't a dick." She chuckled. "Besides, I know you don't trust people easily, but I know the people in my group. They're good people and you'll come to love them just as much as I do."

She snorted, smiling slightly at Ava.

"I doubt that."

Ava fought a smirk and they both looked up as Andrea came in. She looked at the two and forced a smile.

"Can we talk?" She said.

"What now?" Michonne said, sending a sideways look at Ava.

"I was hoping we could stay here." Andrea said and when she got no reply she added. "For a little while – maybe even until the babies are born."

"I thought we had an agreement." Michonne said, standing and frowning at Andrea.

"We can always leave tomorrow or the following day."

"The following day?"

"We don't want to walk into trouble that we can't get out of."

"Tell me about it." Michonne growled.

"Michonne," Andrea sighed. "It is just a day or two."

"I heard you the first time." Michonne said, walking past her. Andrea sighed and looked down at Ava.

"I don't get why you want to leave."

"I've already told you." Ava said, folding her arms over her bump. "I don't trust these people. Something about this place is off."

"Merle says the Governor is a good guy."

"He also said it'd be a cold day in hell before he was bossed around by a nigger. I'd take what he says with a pinch of salt."

"That's rich considering you were going to look for Daryl and the others with him."

Ava quirked a brow.

"Were?"

Andrea sighed.

"The Governor didn't want him to go with so little information. It was too dangerous."

"You mean he wanted him here to be his bulldog." Ava snapped.

"Ava, you have to stop this." Andrea said, folding her arms and staring down at her like she was a child. "You don't want to stay here because it means giving up on Rick, but you're about to be a mother. You need to think about the babies."

Ava stood, staring at Andrea with hard eyes.

"I am thinking about my babies. I don't want to be anywhere near this place when I bring them into the world. That's why we need to leave."

With that, she followed Michonne out of the room, trying to calm her anger and her nerves. Andrea was getting sucked in to the false perfection of this place and Ava was afraid more and more each day that that day would be when the babies came and she would be chained to Woodbury. She couldn't let that happen. She just couldn't.

Rick, Daryl and Oscar heading back out of the prison, moving through the dark corridors with their torches held out before them. Eventually they turned a corner and found Glenn and Axel. Rick leased a sigh of relief.

They kept moving down the corridor, turning a corner to find two walkers feasting on a corpse. Rick shot them both and they marched forward, stopping at the remains of the fallen friend. They couldn't even really tell who it was, but from what was left Rick knew it was T-Dog. Rick closed his eyes and shook his head, fighting back tears.

Daryl reached down and picked up a scarf near the doorway – Carol's headscarf. He looked at it for a moment then dropped it, grimacing, frustrated. Rick knew how he felt.

Eventually they got out of the prison and ran down the courtyard.

"Hershel!" Rick said,

"You didn't find them?" he said as he and Beth came out of the fenced area.

"We thought maybe they came back out here." Glenn said.

"What about T?" Hershel said. "Carol?"

"They didn't make it." Daryl said.

"That doesn't mean the others didn't." Rick said. "We're going back. Daryl and Glenn, you come with-"

"Dad!"

Rick turned and saw Carl, Lori and Maggie come out of the cell block, tears streaming down their faces. Lori was leaning heavily on Maggie, her face pale and slick with sweat. They were both covered in blood.

"Maggie?" Glenn ran to her, but she shook her head.

"I'm okay." She said, fighting back tears. "I'm okay. But Lori was bit. I…I had to…to cut it off…"

"Get her into the Cell Block." Hershel demanded.

Rick raced forwards and wrapped Lori's arm around his shoulder. Now he saw her arm, missing a hand, cradled against her chest and wrapped in Carls' jacket.

"Quickly!" He yelled as they all rushed inside. "Move! Move!"

He and Maggie took Lori to the same cell Hershel had recovered in, which had sort of been designated the hospital area, and lay her on the bed. Beth helped lower Hershel beside her.

"I need bandages and painkillers now." Hershel said and Beth raced off. Rick fell against the wall behind them, staring at his ex-wife and her fragile condition. No one looked at him. Everyone had more important things to worry about and he couldn't…He just couldn't think.

He wandered out of the cell, numb to everything that was happening. Maggie was sobbing into Glenn's shoulder and Carl was standing nearby, staring into the cell.

Carl just stared at Rick, eyes red and glistening with tears. Rick's grip on the axe loosened and he dropped it, stumbling towards his son and falling to his knees before Carl. Rick grabbed his arms and pulled him forward, wrapping him in a big hug as the boy let himself cry.

They cried together, Carl for his mother, Rick for Carl and for Lori and for Ava. For T-Dog and Carol. He'd failed them all. He couldn't protect anyone, not enough. All he could do in that moment was hold his son as they cried together.


	92. Say the word: Part 1

S3E5P1

Ava was hot and she hated it. Today was particularly roasting and she was sweating like crazy thanks to the weather and pregnancy. Woodbury was in high spirits due to the fine weather and the fact that they had refrigerated drinks. Ava would have preferred to be in the refrigerator, but the cold drinks were good enough.

She hadn't seen much of Michonne that day, getting what little enjoyment she could from spending time with Andrea in a relatively normal setting. The world outside felt a lifetime away and that scared her. There was nothing worse than losing your edge in a world like this.

"Alright!" The Governor called, taking his place on the porch with everyone gathered outside. "First time we gathered, there was nine of us holed up in an apartment with spam and saltine crackers."

Laughter murmured throughout the audience.

"Well, look at us now." He chuckled. "We've built a place we can call home. May be held together with duct tape and string, but it works."

More chuckles. Ava watched him with guarded eyes, swilling the cold drink inside her glass. Andrea was smiling.

"It's ours. I'll take it. So today we celebrate how far we've come. We remember those we've lost. We raise a glass to us."

"Hear, hear!" The crowd cried, applauding their leader. Andrea raised her glass with the others though Ava merely put hers to her lips and downed the last of it.

"You could at least pretend to be yourself." Andrea sighed.

"What do you mean?" Ava said, frowning.

"I mean you're a nice, funny person yet your acting really cold to these people. Couldn't you just pretend to be nice?"

Ava sighed and shrugged.

"Maybe. I'll give it a go when I've stopped growing two humans who keep bruising my kidneys." She said, putting her cup down and moving away from the group. She found Michonne loitering at the edge of the group and followed her when she nodded for them to move.

"Where are we going?"

"We're getting out weapons back." She said resolutely, leading them into the Governors' house. Ava swallowed her concern and followed Michonne upstairs to where they'd had their breakfast not so long ago.

The apartment was empty, the Governor still out with his people, and Michonne headed straight for the glass cabinet and pulled out her sword. The moment it was on her back and visibly relaxed and Ava smiled.

"I knew one of the main reasons you've been so agitated was because you didn't have your sword."

Michonne cocked a brow at her and tossed Ava her belt (which had had to be replaced by the largest men's belt they could find as her stomach grew). Her tri-bladed dagger was still on it and she looped the belt through her trousers, removing the knife and smiling at it despite herself and its origins. She'd come to treasure that blade.

Michonne then went to grab her spear, but got distracted by a ledger on the table. She flipped through it began to frown more. Ava moved over to see what she was looking at and saw a list of names, the final one being 'Penny' which was underlined a lot. After that the pages were filled with hundreds and hundreds of forward slash-like lines, the hand denting the paper heavily.

Ava worried her lip between her teeth and shared a look with Michonne.

"-suggesting we delay a couple of days."

The two women looked at one another and immediately bolted to the other side of the room as voices echoed up the stairs.

"We can't wait. Everything's ready." The Governor said as he burst into the room followed by Milton and Merle. They hid behind the edge of the wall in the kitchen and Ava tried not to breathe too hard. Fortunately, they seemed engrossed in their own conversation.

"I love a party as much as the next fella." Milton said. "Trust me, I love a party. But we're using a lot of resources."

"Yeah." The Governor said.

"For instance, the generators." Milton continued, sounding distressed. The thought had occurred to Ava and she thought, as nice as it was, that the entire event with a frivolity they couldn't afford to do anymore.

"I thought you love a party." The Governor said, grinning.

"Come on, Milty, lighten up, for Christ's sake." Merle said. "Let your hair down, man. Have some fun for once."

"I like fun." Milton retorted.

"Then there's no problem." The Governor said.

"If I might." Milton pressed. "You know, I've been working on an experiment all week. It's been a challenge getting the level of power I need. And with everything going on tonight…"

"What are you asking?" The Governor said.

"Postpone tonight."

"No way."

"Hang on." The Governor said to Merle. "Let's hear him out. "How long do you need?"

"I don't need long."

"How long?"

"10 days."

"No." The Governor scoffed.

"Six?"

"No."

"How about-"

"How about you enjoy yourself tonight and then begin the experiment over in the morning, huh?" The Governor said. The sound of rattling bottles echoed towards them as the men moved around.

"Uh, yeah." Milton said. "That could work."

They listened a while longer until they heard the door shut, then Michonne moved to the window and carefully pushed it open. They both got out, Ava grabbing her spear just before she did.


	93. Say the word: Part 2

S3E5P2

Michonne wasn't done with just getting their stuff back. She also had to take a look around, much to Ava's frustration. She could understand the need to know what was going on, but she didn't want to poke the bear, so to speak. Or maybe she was just too tired to really care. She seemed to be more exhausted than usual since they got to Woodbury. All this comfort and safety – false or not – was making her weak.

They moved around the back of some buildings that were completely empty. Guts hung from what looked like a trash chute and Ava wrinkled her nose at the foul stench. Flies buzzed around them.

They both looked up when they heard the familiar growls of walkers and they moved further along to find the dead chained behind rusted gates. Ava couldn't understand what the Governor wanted them for or why they were chained up like that, but it was clear Michonne was not happy. She pulled her sword free and looked at Ava.

"Ready?"

Ava nodded, grabbing her spear firmly as Michonne broke the lock on the gates and let the walkers out. They both backed away as the walkers filled the area and prepared to fight.

Ava stabbed her spear up under the chin of one walker, then twisted and sliced another's head in half with the blade. She drew back and twisted it again, spinning the staff on the palm of her hand – a trick she had learned a while back – and burying it into the eye socket of another walker. She then spun it again, this time above her head as she crouched, and used the blunt end to knock a walker down. When the bladed end came back around she stood and jammed it into the downed walkers' skull.

Then there was silence and she looked around at the downed walkers. Ava shook the blood from the end of her spear and looked up as a door opened. A man came through holding a bucket of more guts by the looks of things, but once he saw her and Michonne, he dropped the bucket.

It didn't take long for them to end up back in the Governors home. The Governor took Michonne's sword again and Ava sighed as she handed her bloodied spear to Merle. He eyed the blood then cocked a brow at her. She shrugged.

"Dagger too, please." He said, gesturing to her belt. She moaned as she took it off, biting her lip as Merle put it to the side. He looked like he wanted to laugh at her, but instead he shook he head and left the room.

"You get off on that?" The Governor said, staring at Michonne. "Poking around other people's things?"

She said nothing, unsurprisingly. Ava sighed and took a seat next to her while the Governor stood before them.

"We got nothing to hide here."

"People with nothing to hide don't usually feel the need to say so." Michonne said.

"That's fair." He nodded. "We all have our secrets, huh?"

"Like Penny?"

Ava's jaw tensed and she looked down, watching the rise and fall of her bump as she took deep, even breaths. She didn't need to be involved in Michonne's feud and she wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect of pissing the Governor off.

"You know about Penny?" He said, his voice a harsh whisper. "Then you know I loved her."

"Bet you say that about all the girls."

Ava shook her head and silence followed. The Governor stood and walked towards them.

"You got the wrong idea about me." He said, sitting in front of them. "I'm just a guy trying to do right by the people I care about. Now, you want to leave, Andrea wants to stay. So you want me to take choice out of the equation. You want me to kick you out." He chuckled at that and Ava frowned, wondering if that was what Michonne was trying to do.

"Actually, I was about to give your sword back." He continued, looking over at the sword. "'cause you fit in. We've enjoyed having you."

He picked up the sword and walked around them. Ava stared at the sheathed blade in his hands.

"This is a real problem for me. People follow the rules. And whether or not it's true, they believe it's what keeps them alive. You've turned that upside down. You've broken the rules. And if I don't do anything, I invite anarchy. How about this? I keep a lid on your little outburst, you two join the research team. You obviously have skills and you're not afraid of biters. Merle will take care of you and then-"

Ava jumped as Michonne jerked up, quick as a flash, and unsheathed her sword, drawing it and putting the point beneath his chin. She stared up mutely as her friend considered the kill and Ava wondered whether that'd be a good thing or a bad thing. She was already trying to figure out how they'd escape Woodbury if she did make the blow.

But she didn't. She backed away, nodding for Ava to follow. Ava did, grabbing her dagger and spear from where Merle had put them and they went to the doors and left.

Merle saw them as they came out the doors and looked between the weapons in Ava's hands and Ava herself, making the customary stop on her belly before looking her in the eyes. She smiled.

"Something tells me we would've been good friends in that camp, Posh."

Ava scoffed before following Michonne.

"In your dreams."


	94. Say the word: Part 3

S3E5P3

Ava opened her eyes when the door opened, looking up from her position on the bed to see Andrea come in. Ava smiled at her and tried to sit up, couldn't, then flopped back. Michonne stood and grabbed her hands, pulling her upright so she could sit on the edge of the bed. Andrea struggled to hold back her laughter.

"Shut up." Ava groaned, trying not to smile. "I'm like a beached whale."

This time Andrea did laugh, but it was muted and her excitement quickly drained.

"We've got to talk." Andrea said, shutting the door behind her.

"We got to go." Michonne said, moving around to the other side of the bed where all their supplies were laid out.

After what had happened that day, Ava couldn't hold back her concerns anymore. She had weighed the pros and cons – the lives of her children and their chances both ways – and knew the best thing to do was to get out quickly and find somewhere else.

"The Governor told me what happened." Andrea said. "Michonne, you can't do things like this. You're freaking people out. You're freaking me out. And Ava, I'm surprised you let her."

"Let her?" Ava snorted. "When does anyone let Michonne do anything?"

"Why did you join in?" Andrea pressed.

"Because they needed to be put out of their misery and, honestly?" She shrugged. "Being in here's made me feel soft and weak. I had to be sure I could still take care of myself when we leave."

"The northeast wall is guarded by some girl." Michonne said, continuing her war-path with the supplies and pushing Ava back down again when she tried to get up to help. Michonne was determined to make her rest as much as possible before they left, it seemed. "We can escape there after dark."

She shoved a duffle bag into Andrea's arms but she immediately put it back on the bed.

"We are not prisoners here."

"No one who comes here leaves." Michonne said.

"What are you talking about? It's safe. There's food, there's shelter. There's people, for God's sake." Andrea sighed, rubbing her head.

"That's what they show you." Michonne pressed. "But you can't leave unless they make you."

"You are not making any sense. Mich, maybe you need to sit for a minute."

Ava sighed, rubbing her belly and closed her eyes. She hadn't expected Andrea to be okay with this and, frankly, she didn't think she'd want to come. She didn't have the same instincts she and Michonne had. She grasped on to power and used it as a sign of safety even if that wasn't the case. She'd seen it before with Shane.

"You need to trust me." Michonne said. "Trust us."

"And you need to give me more to go on." Andrea retorted. Michonne's face fell into a look of confusion. "We got a good thing going here."

"I thought this was temporary." Michonne said.

"And I think we need this. Ava, you of all people need this."

"I need a place where my children will be safe and I don't think that's here." Ava said, resolutely.

"I want to give this place a real shot."

"I tried." Michonne said.

"Breaking into houses? That is not trying. That is sabotaging."

Michonne looked away and sighed, then turned back to Andrea.

"This place is not what they say it is."

Ava looked around at Woodbruy as they headed towards the gates, taking one final look and feeling anxious to leave. Surprisingly, Andrea had decided to come with them and Ava was glad she had. She was also glad Michonne had forced her to rest as her back was already aching from the bag hitched over her shoulders. People eyed them as they passed, probably because of the blood encrusted spear Ava was carrying.

"Hey, hey, hey, girls." Merle yelled as they neared the gates. Ava rolled her eyes. "Where y'all off to in such a hurry? Huh?"

He stood and headed over to them as Michonne turned Andrea away, making them keep moving towards the gates.

"Hey, come on, now. Come on. Hey, hey, hey." He said as he came to stop in front of them. "Y'all are breaking my heart running away like that."

"I'm sure you'd find a way to survive, Merle." Ava said, swinging the spear over her shoulder using the strap she'd added a while ago and folding her arms.

"We're leaving." Michonne said.

Merle looked between them, looking last at Ava and seeming almost disappointed.

"It's almost curfew." He said. "I'd have to arrange an escort. I mean, the party's still going on."

They stared at him as he munched on a piece of bread, seeing they weren't in the mood for bargaining.

"Alright." He said. "Wait here a second."

He moved away and called to someone on top of the wall. Michonne gave Andrea a pointed look and she marched over to Merle.

"The Governor told us we were free to come and go whenever we liked." She said.

"Sweetheart, nothing personal here, but you're gonna have to step back." Merle said. Andrea turned back and came over to them. Ava bit her lip.

"See?" Michonne said. "There's always a reason why we can't leave yet."

"Clear." The man yelled. They all turned to see Merle stood by the gates.

"Now if I was y'all, I'd find some shelter before nightfall." He said, unhooking the gates and pulling it open. Andrea sighed, shaking her head and turned to Michonne.

"They knew we were coming." She said. "This was all for show."

"Do you hear yourself?" Andrea said and Ava sighed. "How can you know that? And why would they bother?"

"Ladies." Merle called.

"Close the gates." Andrea said.

"No." Michonne said. Andrea stared at her.

"I practically begged The Governor to let you stay, to let both of you stay."

"We didn't ask for that." Michonne growled.

"You didn't have to. That's what friends do for each other."

"It goes both ways."

"So you want to run around out there with walkers on chains eating twigs?" Andrea said, then turned to Ava. "And you want to be out there with no food, no walls, no safety when you have twins? I mean…you realise you seem insane, don't you?"

Ava gritted her teeth.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't trust this place so much so that I'm risking my babies out there. Why can't you trust us?"

Andrea looked away.

"You hate this place that bad?"

Ava sighed, looking down.

"I don't hate this place. I just don't trust and neither should you. When have my instincts ever been wrong? I knew Shane was unstable and dangerous before it even occurred to you. Please, Andrea." Ava took her hands. "Trust me."

Andrea stared at her, torn.

"Are you coming or not?" Michonne said.

"Don't do this." Andrea said, shaking her head. "Don't give me an ultimatum. Not after everything."

"Are you coming or not?" She said again.

"Please, Andrea." Ava said. Andrea was her last connection to Rick and the others, apart from her babies, that is, and she didn't want to lose her. They were family.

Andrea said noting, clearly wanting to stay a Woodbury but also wanting to stay with them. Ava closed her eyes and pushed a tear down her cheek.

"So be it." Michonne said, walking past her. Ava squeezed Andrea's hands before moving past her, heading towards the gates.

"Ava! Michonne!" Andrea called, but only Ava looked back. She looked at Merle as well, smiling despite her sadness. She hesitated for a moment and he looked at her.

"I hope you find Daryl." She said. "If I find him, I'll tell him where you are. And if you find them, I'd appreciate it if you didn't kill Rick."

Her voice cracked on his name and she fought back tears. Merle nodded and they moved on past and out into the street.

"Okay, wait! Ava!" Ava turned as Andrea ran towards them and past Merle. "Wait."

"You're not going to convince us to stay, Andrea." Ava sighed, looking back at Michonne who looked back at Andrea over her shoulder.

"I know that." Andrea said, shifting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "I trust you. Both of you. And as much as I want to stay here, I want to stay with you more. I'm not letting my best friend…"

Andrea stepped forward and took Ava's hand.

"My sister…go out into danger without me. You think there's somewhere else out there then so be it." She sniffed, clearly distressed by the thought of leaving Woodbury.

"But." She amended as Ava grinned. "If the babies come and we have nowhere, promise me we'll come back."

Ava's grin faded slightly at the thought of them being trapped with nothing and two babies. She wanted to say no, but even if Andrea wasn't coming with them, Ava had to admit the thought had crossed her mind. If it came down to living rough with infants or returning to Woodbury, she'd do the latter.

"I promise." She said, then turned to Michonne. "Though you won't have to join us if you don't want to."

Michonne smiled at Andrea, then Ava.

"Someone would have to protect you." She said.

They smiled at one another and Ava squeezed Andrea's hand.

"Decision made, blondie?"

They turned to Merle, who was still leaning against the gate. She nodded.

"Tell Philip I'm sorry, but I can't abandon my friends."

Merle nodded and waved his blade at them before shutting the gates and locking them out of Woodbury. Andrea sighed, her shoulders shaking, as the three turned to the open road.


	95. Say the word: Part 4

S3E5P4

Rick didn't know how long he sat on the ground, but eventually the sobs stopped coming from both him and Carl. He let his son go, let him stand and walk away, a comforting arm put around his shoulders by Maggie. He continued to stare at nothing.

Glenn knealt before him.

"Rick? You okay?"

Lori may not have been his wife anymore, but she had been counting on him and she could die. T-Dog and Carol trusted him and he'd let them die. Ava had been counting on him. He'd failed again, failed them all, and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Rick?"

Rick blinked, frowning.

"Rick, you with me?" Daryl's face swam into focus and he waved a hand in front of his face. "Rick?"

"I…" he swallowed, shaking his head. "I'm fine. I'm fine."

He tried to stand, but his legs didn't seem as fine as the rest of him. Daryl grabbed his shoulder as he stood, steadying him. Rick swallowed again, trying to dislodge the stone he felt at the back of his throat.

"I'm fine." He said again.

"Are you sure?" Glenn asked, eying him. He nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"Maggie." Hershel called from the cell. "I could use a hand."

He looked around, turning in time to see Maggie disappear into the cell. Carl was leaning on the doorframe staring intently at what was going on. His cheeks glistened with tears. Tears he had caused.

"We…we need supplies."

Daryl frowned.

"What?"

"We need supplies." Rick repeated, nodding to himself and rubbing his head with a shaking hand. "Bandages, medicine…everything. We…have to do a run. Daryl, head out and see what you can find. Just…go."

They stared at him and Rick clenched his jaw. He couldn't take all these eyes, all these people staring at him, knowing how he failed them. He turned back to the cell and saw Beth looking at him, but she quickly turned away. He glared at Glenn and Daryl.

"Just go!" He yelled. Glenn flinched but he no longer cared. He had to get out from under their stares, had to find something else to think about before he went insane.

He turned away from the group and grabbed the axe from the ground, marching out of the cell block.

"Rick!" Daryl said, following him but he didn't stop. He marched into the area in which Lori had been bitten, ignoring the calls of his friends, his people, his group.

Rick walked into the dark halls of the prison without any concern for his own safety. He reached a gate and stared through it. There were walkers inside, a fair few of them too, but he didn't hesitate. He wrenched the gate open and marched forwards, slicing the dead with the axe as he passed. He gave them no time to pile up on him and kept moving, turning corners and killing more of the dead without ever fearing what could become of him. Nothing mattered anymore. He no longer cared whether he lived or died. He forgot about those outside who cared for him, he forgot what anyone would think or feel should he die. He just focused on killing the dead who had taken practically everything away from him.

Rick didn't pay much attention to time. He measured only by how many of the dead he'd taken out but once they were all dead he had nothing to do but stare into space, wondering where he should go next to destroy the fuckers.

"Rick?"

He startled at the voice but didn't move, didn't look to see Glenn. He saw the torch light shine over him and realised he was breathing heavily. The axe in his hands was slick with blood.

"Everybody's worried about you." Glenn continued. "You shouldn't be in here. Come on out."

Rick turned and stared at Glenn, blinking. Glenn. A member of his group, his people, his family. A friend.

"Rick." Glenn edged forward, coming to stand in front of him. "You don't have to do this all by yourself. Okay? Our cell block is cleared. We'll just close off all the doors again."

"No." Rick said, shaking his head. "No. No."

"Rick, why don't you just come with me? Okay?" Glenn pressed, touching his shoulder. Rick jerked away, smacking the back of his head on the wall behind him. He winced as he went to touch it.

"No." He said again. "I have to clear it. Have to clear everything. Every walker has to die, they have to die so they can't kill again. So they can't hurt anyone."

"Okay…" Glenn said, edging towards him again. "But you don't have to do it alone. Come back to the cell block, see Carl, see Lori. She's stable now. Hershels' hopeful. Then we can organise a group to take out the walkers when everyone's rested and better, yeah?"

"No. They'll get you. They'll kill you all."

"Rick, you should come back and see Carl. He needs you-"

"He needs his mother!" Rick yelled, slamming Glenn against the wall. "But I didn't clear this place and she almost died! She could still die! I didn't clear this place and T and Carol died! I didn't clear the farm and Ava died!"

He panted, staring into Glenn's wide eyes. Then he pulled away and twisted the axe in his hands.

"Rick…."

But Rick didn't listen. He turned away from Glenn without another word, tears streaming down his face as he went further into the darkness.

Rick didn't stop moving through the tombs of the prison until he came across one room and faltered. This room was filled with fresh blood and there were remnants of flesh on the ground and he knew. He just knew this was where Lori had been bitten, where the hand had been removed.

And eaten. Devoured. Mutilated by the walkers.

He had to kill them all.

Then he saw it. Or rather, he heard it. The stunted groans of a walker. He moved over to it as it stretched and shifted to its feet, fresh blood smeared across its face.

Rick didn't move. He let it stumble towards him and stared at its gaping maw that would bite and tear and rip if he didn't clear it. He raised the python and buried the muzzle into its mouth, staring into its dead eyes and screaming as he fired the shot. Then he fell to his knees and cradled his head, shaking, sobbing.

Had Ava become that? Had she been devoured into nothingness like Lori's hand had been? Nothing left but smears of blood. Or had she become one of these things? He should have made sure. He should have helped her. He should have saved her.

Rick fell to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably, his back falling against some pipes. He put his head in his hands and cried, screamed, sobbed, wailed for everything he'd lost. It wasn't fair. Ava hadn't deserved to die. Their child hadn't deserved to die. It should have been him and she should be surviving with the group around her to keep her safe and help her with the baby. He should have done more. He should have died.

Eventually the sobs faded to silence and his eyes simply stared instead of cried. He didn't know how long he sat like that, but his rumination was interrupted by the loud, sharp pealing of a telephone.

He looked up, confused, and forced himself to stand. He stepped over the walkers body and stared at the phone, wondering how it could ring, but slowly he put his bloodied hand on the receiver and lifted it to his ear.

"Hello?"


	96. Hounded: Part 1

S3E6P1

Rick held the phone to his ear and swallowed.

"Hello? Is someone there?"

"Yes." A voice answered, a girl. "Yes! Oh, my God, I can't believe someone picked up. We've been calling since…well, since it all started."

"Where are you?"

"I can't say."

"You could be a 1000 miles away."

"I'm not going to say where we are."

"Are you someplace safe?"

"Yeah," The girl said. "And part of it is because we're careful. I can't tell you where we are. I'm sorry."

Rick rubbed his face, frowning when his hand came back bloodier than before. He rubbed some more at the film of sweat and blood covering his skin and tried not to think about where it had come from.

"What makes your place so safe?" He asked.

"It's just away from them."

"I have a son." He said, his heart beginning to quicken at the thought of finding them a safe place – a real safe place where he could protect them like he'd promised Ava he would. "His mother is hurt. She might die. And I have others who need safety. We're not…They're not safe here. Would you be willing…could you take others in?"

A beat of silence.

"We can pull our weight. We can help you."

"I'd have to talk to the group."

Rick closed his eyes and clutched at the receiver.

"Well, put them on. Let me make a case."

"Let me talk to them first." She said.

"Please," Rick said, fighting back desperate tears. "Please don't go. Just, please we're good people here, we just need some help and we can help-"

"I'll call back in two hours."

"Please!" He begged, falling back against the wall. "You don't understand, you don't know…" He rubbed his head again, clearing away the tears. "They're all going to die. I made a promise to protect them but I can't and they're all going to die unless I can get them somewhere safe. Please!"

"You made a promise?"

"Yes." He said, nodding.

"To Ava?"

He looked up, frowning, and his grip on the receiver tightened.

"How do you know her name?"

"It's me Rick." A new voice said, one he knew only too well. His legs fell out from under him and he slid to the ground. "It's Ava."

"Ava?" He sobbed. "You're alive?"

"Maybe."

He frowned again.

"How…How can that be a maybe?"

"I think you already know the answer to that, Rick.

He swallowed, shaking his head.

"This isn't real." She said, sighing. "This is all in your head."

"No." he said, fighting back tears.

"I'm afraid so. But real or not, we've got to talk."

"Why should I listen to this when it's my own head playing cruel tricks on me?" He growled, forcing himself to stand.

"Because I'm still Ava and I have to talk to you."

"No, I-"

"Rick Grimes if you hang up that phone there'll be hell to pay!"

His hand hesitated over the phone and he chuckled, perhaps a little manically, before putting the receiver to his ear again.

"I'm here."

"Good." The fake Ava said. "Now. I hear some things have gone wrong?"

"Everything's gone wrong."

"Is Carl dead?"

"No."

"What about the group? Are they dead?"

"Not all of them, but Carol and T…"

"Tragic. Truly. I wish it wasn't so but Rick, we learned a long time ago to accept losses in this life. The fact that Carl and most of the group is still alive, over a year into this shit, means you're doing something right."

"Ava, I…" he stumbled, failing to find the words. "I'm so sorry that I didn't save you."

"Oh, Rick…I know you. I know you didn't abandon me or leave me to die. You chose to save your son and the others which is exactly what you should have done."

"I should have gone back for you. You would have come back for me."

"Well, yes, I would have, but the difference here is that we wouldn't have found one another if I had and I might have gotten myself killed. I'm irrational that way. Don't beat yourself up over this. I won't hold a grudge or hate you for it. Besides, I would have been long gone by the time you got to the farm."

His heart beat fast against his sternum.

"You escaped?"

"I don't know, Rick. I'm a figment of your imagination, remember?" She chuckled and breath shuddered through his chest at the sound. "All I know is you would have returned to that farm to find me dead or long gone. But I wouldn't lose hope, if I were you…which I sort of am."

She laughed again and it was the most delicious sound Rick had ever heard and he found himself smiling genuinely despite everything that had happened.

"Do you see now, Rick?"

"See what?"

"Giving yourself the chance to mourn me wouldn't kill you. It'd just make you able to think of me without that gaping maw of agony ripping through your heart. I don't want you to be tormented by my death – or disappearance – for the rest of your life. I want you to raise your son and love him. I want you to keep the group alive and happy. I want you to stop blaming yourself for everything and I want you to remember me, not ignore me at every possible moment."

Rick swallowed, blinking back tears as her words sunk in. He chuckled to himself. It was almost like his brain knew he wouldn't accept the words if they hadn't been spoken by her.

"Please, Rick." Ava said softly. "Make me another promise. Promise me you will cherish what you have – including your memories of me – and promise me you'll grieve."

Rick sniffed, no longer caring about the tears that flowed down his face. He nodded, and despite not saying a word, she knew he had agreed.

"Good." She said, her voice crackling and fading from the receiver. "I love you, Rick."

"I love you, too." He whispered, letting the dead receiver drop to his shoulder as he sank to the ground once more. Here he laughed and cried and thanked his tortured brain for giving him exactly what he had needed.


	97. Hounded: Part 2

S3E6P2

"Is this really necessary?" Andrea said, watching as Michonne dragged the severed limbs of a few walkers into a message on the ground.

"Yes."

Andrea sighed and folded her arms.

"Look," Ava said. "Even if it isn't, it's better to be safe than sorry. I for one don't want mercenaries trailing after us."

"Alright then." Andrea said, though she eyed the message sceptically. "What's it even say?"

"Go back." Michonne said, standing and wiping her hands on her trousers.

"The arms are a G, the legs an O and then there's a back." Ava explained, grabbing her bag as she leant against the tree to get up. Andrea raced forward to help her up. "Thanks." Ava sighed.

"Shush."

They both looked at Michonne, instantly quieting as they saw the perked intensity in her eyes.

"Someone's coming."

Now they were silent, Ava could hear it too. The occasional shift of leaves, the rumble of hushed chatter.

"What do we do?" Andrea said, looking a little like she didn't believe what was happening. Maybe she hoped it was a group of strangers heading there way, not the Governor.

"You and Ava go on ahead. I'll stay here, take out as many as I can."

"How will we find you?" Ava said. Despite her unease at leaving Michonne alone, she'd long ago figured there was little she could do to dissuade her.

"Go to the verge." She said, pointing ahead to an area of trees that looked like bushes, but actually were hiding a ditch of sorts. "I'll meet you there."

Andrea and Ava did as she said, crouching low as they softly ran to the dip. They threw the bags in first, then slid through the dry leaves and peered out from below the bushes. Ava tutted when she had to shift onto her side. She was really looking forward to not being pregnant anymore. Though not too soon, she thought, as if the children would hear.

They waited a while, trying to hear what was going on in the clearing beyond. Andrea took Ava's hand when they started to hear screams but neither of them moved. Then gunshots echoed and Ava jumped. Seconds later, Michonne limped into view and dove into the ditch with them.

Andrea was immediately at her side, looking at the wound on her leg. Ava took a quick look but turned back as a man ran out. It was Merle. Her heart skipped a beat as he stared around, gun flailing.

Luckily, he didn't see them.

"We having fun yet?!" He yelled. Ava pursed her lips and turned to Michonne. Andrea looked uneasy about the wound on her leg but Michonne gave no indication that she cared besides heavy breathing.

They waited there until Merle had gone, but as they got up to move they knew he would be back. They had to hurry.

Ava was beginning to tire, but she didn't let on, not when Michonne was powering along with a bullet wound in her leg. Andrea supported her as much as possible, but it was difficult with all the bags. They'd ditched one a while ago, cramming the necessities into the other two.

"They're catching up." Andrea said, looking over her shoulder. Ava too could see the occasional blur of people in the distance. "We have to hide."

"You too go ahead."

"No." Ava said firmly. "We're not doing that again. Besides, there're less of them now."

They crowded into a clearing and hide behind some trees, waiting as Merle and some other kid approached. They stopped in the clearing and looked around. Ava wondered if they could simply wait until they moved on, but then Michonne swung out and sliced at them.

Ava watched, waiting for the best moment. Andrea had already pounced on the kid she'd sliced, trying to get a knife through his head and Michonne was fighting with Merle. Ava gripped her spear tight and prepared, but turned just as a walker came upon her.

Reflexively, she stabbed the spear up through its skull and turned back to the fight to find more walkers had filled the clearing. One was bearing down on Andrea, who was still on top of the boy, and Ava drew back her arm and threw the spear.

Her eyes widened in surprise when the blade actually went through its head. She'd only been hoping to impale it. Her surprise was short-lived, however, as she had to dive after another that was trying to get Michonne. She had gutted it, covering herself in the entrails, but Ava got in the kill by stabbing the dagger through its head.

Andrea had knocked the boy out and they both helped Michonne up, getting a fair amount of walker innards on them as they did. They went to run but Ava hesitated, seeing Merle struggle with the walker. Her hesitation ended as the boy stumbled up, blade in hand.

She turned away from the clearing and they ran. Eventually they came across a load of walkers and Michonne, stumbling all the worse from the fight, went to take them out with her sword.

"No." Ava said, as Andrea handed her back her spear. "Wait."

Michonne stared at her like she was crazy, but sure enough the walkers moved right on by.

"The hell?" She said.

"Something we did in Atlanta." Andrea said, grinning at Ava.

"If you cover yourself in walker guts, you blend right in. We watched Rick and Glenn walk right through at least 50 walkers unnoticed."

"Until it started to rain." Andrea added.

"Well, let's hope it doesn't start to rain, then."


	98. Hounded: Part 3

S3E6P3

Eventually Rick returned to the Cell Block. It was quiet in there and he looked through the gate a moment first, seeing his group surrounding the table and scattered about as they ate.

"Everybody okay?" he said and everyone turned round to look at him in shock, Carl's eyes rimmed red from tears.

"Yeah," Maggie said. "We are."

Everyone watched him like he was a caged animal about to strike and he could understand why. He remembered what he'd said to Glenn, though he knew in that moment that he hadn't been totally in control.

"What about you?" Hershel said.

"I'm good. I'm very good." He said, smiling tentatively. The older man seemed to relax a little and, sensing the change in his demeanour, so did everyone else. "I cleared out the boiler block."

"How many were there?" Daryl asked.

"I don't know. A dozen, two dozen. How's Lori?"

Rick stepped forward as he spoke, putting a hand on Carl's shoulder and squeezing it gently.

"She's stable." Maggie said.

"We managed to stop the bleeding and Daryl went on a run, found some antibiotics that we can use should infection set in." Hershel explained. Rick nodded.

"Good. That's good." He sighed. "I have to get back. Gotta clear out the bodies before anything else can be done."

"Rick." Glenn said, standing. "We can handle taking out the bodies. You don't have to."

Rick was about to protest, but Hershel cut him off.

"Spend some time with your son." He said. "He needs his father."

Rick sighed and nodded, something that appeared to surprise a lot of the people in the room. Rick knelt down beside Carl.

"I'm sorry, Carl. Sorry that I couldn't protect your mother, or T-Dog, or Carol. Or Ava and Andrea and Patricia and Jimmy." He looked out across the group. "I'm sorry to all of you."

Rick took his sons' hands and smiled at him.

"I know I haven't been the best dad since we left the farm, but I'm going to do better. And I'm sorry I left you after what happened to your mother but I…I think whatever happened, I needed it." He smiled when he saw tears in Carls' eyes and wiped them away. "Come here."

Carl wrapped his arms around his neck and Rick held him tight, rubbing his back and sighing deeply.

"The hell happened to you in there?" Daryl said, breaking the surprised silence. Rick chuckled and stood.

"I'll tell you later. For now I want to know the situation. Did you find anything else on the run?"

Daryl shrugged.

"Caught a possum. We're running low on ammo, though."

"Maggie and I were planning on making a run this afternoon."Glenn said. "Found a phone book with some places we can hit, look for bullets and food. Maybe even some entertainment."

"Entertainment?" Rick said, frowning.

"I found some comics when looking through supplies." Beth said, smiling at Carl.

"They're really cool, Dad."

Rick nodded.

"Yeah, entertainment. I guess we haven't had the presence of mind to think about that sort of thing for a while. We should get some books, too."

"I was thinking the other day." Hershel said. "We get some solar panels, we could rig up some power. Jimmy's father used to do that sort of thing. I picked up enough to know the basics. It wouldn't be much, but it'd be enough to provide some lighting, maybe even warm showers."

"Sounds good." Rick said, grinning and patting his son on the shoulder. "This place is gonna be amazing."

Rick stood in the doorway and stared down at Lori. Her breathing was shallow, her face pasty, but she wasn't as sweaty as before and the mounds of bandages around her wrist were mostly white. The bleeding had stopped.

Rick stepped into the cell and sat down beside her, feeling her forehead which was cool to the touch. No infection. He sighed.

"Rick?"

He looked down in shock, seeing Lori's brow crease as she frowned, blinking weakly.

"Hey." He said, taking her hand and giving it a light squeeze. "How're you feeling?"

She blinked again and looked up at him in confusion. Her eyes widened.

"Carl-"

"Is fine." He said. "I'll send him in in a minute. I've just got to make sure you're okay. Do you remember what happened?"

She thought for a minute, then her gaze shifted to the bandaged arm. She began to panic. Rick leaned forward and held her shoulders down as she shifted, repeating her name until her wild eyes met his.

"Lori." He said again, calm and soothing. "Calm down. I know it's a shock but you're okay. You've got no fever. You're not going to die, okay?"

She swallowed hard, then nodded, tears falling down her temples. Rick wiped them away.

"Maggie." Lori said hoarsely. "She saved me."

"She did. So did Carl."

Lori nodded, tearing up at the thought of her son.

"Is he okay? What about everyone else?"

"Carl's just worried about you, but we did lose T-Dog and Carol."

Lori went to press her hand to her mouth but had to stop when she remembered she didn't have the limb. She started crying, desperate tears of someone in distress, and Rick gently pulled her up, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder as he hugged her while she cried.

Eventually the tears stopped coming and they just sat in silence. Only when she tried to move did he lay her back down. She frowned at him, looking a lot more herself than she had before.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" He said.

"You barely look at me for months and now you're… I don't know." She swallowed, taking his hand again. "I mean, I'm not complaining-"

"Stop, Lori." He sighed, shaking his head and pulling his hand from under hers, patting it instead. "I've been avoiding you for…hell, a lot of reasons. But one is that I can tell you're trying to reconcile our relationship."

Lori swallowed and looked away.

"What happened today? – Or yesterday, I'm not actually sure how long it's been – but that has made me face everything that's happened to me, to us. I don't hate you, Lori, but I don't love you either. Not in the way I used to. I will always care about you because of the years we spent together and the son we have, but even now all I can think about is Ava."

Lori blinked back tears but nodded, smiling as she stroked his cheek.

"I understand, Rick. Just please, please don't shut me out again."

He took her hand and squeezed it.

"I won't." he said, putting her hand on her chest and standing.

"Carl?" he called from the doorway and the boy popped up, looking at him with hopeful eyes, Rick grinned. "Someone wants to see you."

Carl immediately raced across the prison and into the cell, stopping when he saw his mother looking at him.

"Mum?"

"I'm here, baby." She said, sobbing as he raced into her arms. Rick smiled at the two before leaving them in peace, the look on his face telling Glenn and Maggie all they needed to know.


	99. Hounded: Part 4

_Authors note: You guys are gonna hate me for this...:/_

S3E6P4

They kept moving, Michonne supported between them as they headed through the woods. Eventually they came across a building from behind and edged along the wall. Michonne went to the front, peering out into the street. She looked back and nodded, the three of them edging towards the abandoned cars strewn outside the shop but they all froze when they heard people moving outside the building, quickly ducking down.

They listened as people shifted around outside, footsteps and doors. Ava looked at Michonne, concerned, but her attention shifted when she heard the people talk.

"We just hit the comic book jackpot." A man said.

"No way. Carl's gonna be thrilled."

Ava looked to Andrea, eyes wide. She knew those voices and she knew Carl, only too well.

"Oh, my god." She said.

"I also got batteries, cocktail wieners, mustard. It's a straight shot to the prison from here. Might make it back in time for dinner-"

Glenn cut himself short when he saw Ava, who had stood on instinct despite Michonne's hissings. She ran out from behind the car and towards Glenn and Maggie, who stared at her in shock. Glenn opened his arms when she reached them and wrapped them around her, her own arms locked around his neck. She sobbed and laughed, the sounds echoed by Glenn, and when she pulled away she had to wipe her eyes so she could see anything.

They both turned and saw Andrea hugging Maggie. The four looked at each other and swapped, Ava reaching out to hug Maggie.

"I can't-I can't believe you're alive." Glenn said, sniffing, wrapping and arm around Ava's shoulders.

"I never thought I'd see any of you again." She sobbed. "Are you still with the others? Did you all get off of the farm? What about Rick?"

"Yes, yes, we're fine, Ava." Glenn said. "We got off the farm but it was hours before we reconnected and noticed you two were gone. Rick wanted to go back, but we knew you wouldn't be there anymore."

"Rick's missed you." Maggie said to Ava, then she turned to Andrea. "We've all missed you."

Ava put her hands over her mouth and let her head fall back, her heart hammering and warming every part of her. When she looked back down she saw Michonne was still at the car, smiling at them.

"Looks like we found you just in time." Glenn said, looking down at Ava's stomach.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

They all froze, heads snapping at the sound of Merle's voice.

"Merle?" Glenn said, staring at him in shock.

"Well, I'll be damned! It's a big ol' family reunion here today, ain't it? My brother? Is he here?"

"No." Glenn said, reaching for his gun.

"Hey, woah. None of that or the pretty brunette gets her head blown off."

Glenn tensed, clenching his jaw as they stared at Merle. Ava's spear was with Michonne and she had no ammo left in her gun. Neither did Andrea.

"Is my bother alive?"

"Yes." Glenn said. Merle beamed.

"Okay." He said. "Well, you take me to him and I'll call it even on everything that happened in Atlanta. No hard feelings, huh?"

Ava thought it best not to point out it had been his own fault and swallowed.

"We'll tell Daryl that you're here and he'll come out to meet you." Glenn said after thinking for a minute.

"Woah, hold up. What's the issue here? Seems it's a win-win. I get my brother and the two bundles of joy get to meet their daddy when they come into the world."

Glenn looked at Ava then back at Merle, clearly unwilling to do what he said.

"You trust us." Glenn said. "You stay here."

Merle stared at them. Ava looked over her shoulder as Glenn moved a little in front of her and saw Michonne ducked behind the car. She shook her head at her, subtly pointing at the basket of supplies Maggie and Glenn had gathered. Michonne nodded and Ava turned back just as Merle shot at them.

They split, Andrea and Maggie dodging to one side, Ava and Glenn to the other. Glass exploded from the back windscreen and by the time Ava and Glenn were stood and armed, they found Andrea knocked out and Maggie in Merle's arms, a gun to her head.

"Let go of her!" Glenn yelled.

"Not gonna happen, kid. Put the gun in the car. And the knife."

Glenn obliged and, cussing, Ava did the same.

"Now be a good boy and put blondie in the back seat. Ava, you're gonna make sure you've taken all her weapons and your own."

"Merle, don't do this-"

"Put her in the damn car!"

Ava jumped, but began stripping herself and Andrea of weapons before Glenn put her in the car.

"Tie her hands."

Again, Ava reluctantly obliged.

"Now, get in the car. You're driving, Glenn. Ava, you're in the passenger seat. I'll ride in the back with the girl."

"If you hurt her-"

"Get in the car, Glenn!" Merle yelled, forcing Maggie into the car, then following.

"Alright. Alright, dammit!" Glenn cursed, slamming the back door shut before getting in the front. Ava got into the passenger side and looked back at Merle, Maggie and Andrea, her blood simmering with rage.

"I'm not taking you back to our camp."

"Oh no, we're going somewhere else, aren't we Posh?"

Ava closed her eyes and fought back tears. After everything – everything! – they were going back to Woodbury.


	100. Hounded: Part 5

_Authors note: Sorry this is a short one but OMG! 100 chapters! I'm super glad this story is doing so well. Thank you so much for the support. You guys really keep this going :) hope you continue to enjoy this story! Here's to another 100 chapters..._

S3E6P5

"What happened to you, Rick?" Hershel said, distracting him on his way out of the prison. He was sat at the same table where everyone had enjoyed a meal, only alone this time.

"In the boiler block?"

He nodded. Rick rubbed his face and joined Hershel at the table.

"I got a call."

"A what?"

"A phone call. There's a phone in there and I got a call from a girl who was talking about somewhere safe where there were no walkers. Basically, she was saying everything I wanted to hear. And then I spoke to Ava."

Hershel's eyes widened, then narrowed cautiously.

"You spoke to Ava on the phone in the boiler room?"

"Relax, Hershel." Rick said, chuckling. "I know it wasn't real. Some hallucination born out of grief or madness. I don't know. But she set me straight the way only Ava could. She made me promise to stop blaming myself and to mourn for her, whether she's alive or not. She made me remember how I felt when I was with her."

He took a deep, shuddering breath and picked at the dried blood on his hands.

"Everything was great when I was with her, even if it wasn't." he said. "And I'd forgotten that. I'd forgotten all the good and could only think of the bad. She helped me remember. Gave me perspective."

Hershel smiled sadly.

"Even from beyond she's keeping us alive." He said. Rick nodded.

"I like that." He said, and they sat for a moment, simply thinking before Rick realised there were still things to do and shook his head. "Anyway, I should probably go clean up."

"A sensible plan." Hershel said as Rick stood. "Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"You're not still hearing voices, are you?"

Rick chuckled.

"No, but you'll be the first to know if they come back."

It was a joke, but Hershel still looked a little uneasy. Rick headed back into the cell block and down towards the showers, peering in at Lori and Carl, who were now joined by Beth, and smiling.

Rick felt refreshed after cleaning up, more than just physically but emotionally too. He felt better than he had in a long time and drifted back into the cell block with a small smile on his face. He looked in on Lori and Carl. Lori was asleep and Carl was watching her. He stood up when he saw his dad.

"How is she?"

"She's great. Better than I've seen her in a long time." He said. Rick nodded. "You are too."

Rick cocked a brow at Carl, who stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around his waist. Rick rubbed his back.

"It's tough these days, Carl. But we're strong, you especially so. We're gonna beat this world, kid. I promise you that."

Carl nodded into his stomach.

"How about we get some fresh air?"

"Sounds like a good idea." Hershel said, surprising him from where he'd been watching. "We've all been stuffed up in here too long."

Rick smiled and took Carl's hand, but the boy hesitated.

"Come on. She'll be there when you come back."

Carl relented, and he, Rick, Hershel and Beth headed out into the courtyard for the first time since the attack. Rick saw the bodies had been cleared in his absence. The day was mild, almost nice. It didn't smell of rot for once, but warm grass. It was a good day.

He looked along the fences and frowned. There was a walker at the fence among others, but it was carrying something, odd for a walker.

"Hey, stay here a sec, alright?"

"Alright." Carl said, and Rick headed down through the field and drew his gun just in case, frowning at the woman limping towards him. She stared hard at Rick, but his attention focused on the basket, which along with food was filled with the comics Carl liked.

That alone was enough to make him curious, but then he saw what was slung across her back. A spear. A spear identical to the one Ava had. It couldn't be the same one. No, that had been in the farm house, hadn't it? Unless she'd gotten it when the walkers started heading towards them?

But it couldn't be. Because if it was Ava's spear…

Well. He didn't know how to finish that sentence.


	101. When the dead come knocking: Part 1

S3E7P1

Ava groaned, shifting as her backed spasmed. Sleeping on the hard ground was even worse than sleeping rough in the woods. At least there had been soil and leaves to lie on. Here all she had was stone.

"Hey!" Andrea yelled, hammering on the door for the billionth time since the three women had been locked in there. "Hey! Let me talk to Philip! Let me talk to the Governor!"

"Give it up Andrea." Ava sighed, trying to sit up. Maggie took her arms and helped her lean against the wall. "He's not coming and even if he is, he won't do anything to help us. You really think he has no idea we're here?"

Andrea pursed her lips but said nothing. She'd still hoped this place was good, even after leaving. Now she was seeing the truth.

"At least Michonne got away." She said, coming to sit on Ava's other side.

"Michonne?" Maggie said. She'd been mostly silent since they'd been locked up, clearly worried about Glenn.

"A friend of ours. She's the only reason Andrea and I didn't die that night at the farm. She was there when we found you, but she's more cautious. She stayed hidden and Merle didn't see her. I gestured for her to take the supplies back to the others. Hopefully she got the message. She'll tell Rick and others what happened."

Maggie sighed, relieved.

"I hope so."

The three looked up, staring at the sheet metal separating them from Glenn and Merle as groans echoed through. Maggie's breathing became ragged and Ava took her hand.

"I wanna know where my brother is." Merle yelled, following by more grunts of pain from Glenn. Ava gritted her teeth, fighting back tears as she held Maggie close.

"I wanna know where the sheriff is." Ava stiffened and a tear fell down her cheek.

"I wanna know where they're hiding, where your camp is, and I wanna know now. I wanna know now! Where the hell are they?"

Rick stared at the woman, trying to figure out how she could have Ava's spear. No, she didn't have Ava's spear. It was just a spear. Rick closed his eyes and fought back the pain. She had a hard look in her eyes but was clearly suffering from an injury. She put her hand to the wound, then back on the fence and almost immediately the walker at her side turned, intrigued. She groaned and stared to move away.

Carl raced up to his side as they watched the woman pull her sword free and kill a walker, hobbling as she did.

"Should we help her?" Carl asked, and Rick nodded. He ran around from the field, coming up to the main gate just as Carl killed two walkers. The woman was on the ground.

"Carl!" Rick said, holding out his hand for the keys. Carl threw them to him and he unlocked the gate, killing more of the dead as they descended on the fallen woman. Carl ran across to get the basket of the supplies and with the area mostly clear, Rick knelt down beside the woman.

"Is she bit?" Hershel asked, having joined them at the gate. Rick scanned her body, taking a look at the wound before answering.

"Gunshot." He said before picking her up and carrying her back up to the prison. Those inside looked up in shock as Rick limped in with a stranger.

"Carl, get a blanket." He said, ignoring the bemused looks. "Beth, water and a towel."

"Here?" Carl said as he pulled a blanket across the floor. Rick nodded.

"She's not coming in the cell blocks. Not until we know who she is." He said. "Hey, Whoa, whoa, whoa. Steady now." He added as he lay her down on the blanket. She was panting heavily and barely conscious.

"Alright. Alright." He said, taking a bottle of water that was handed to him. "Thank you. Shh. It's all right."

He poured some of the water over her chest and neck and she became a bit more alert. "It's all right. Hey, hey, look at me. Look at me."

She looked at him, frowning hard.

"Who are you?" He said. Her eyes grew wider as she took in her surroundings and she looked to the side, seeing her sword and lunged for it. Rick held her down and kicked it away. "Hey. No. We're not going to hurt you unless you try something stupid first, alright?"

She glared at him, seemingly eyeing him up, trying to figure him out. She didn't look good and he wondered how long ago she'd been injured. The wound could be infected.

"Rick." Daryl said, walking in from the Cell Block. "Who the hell is this?"

Rick turned back to the woman, who was dragging herself upright, and noticed she was staring at him more intently now.

"You wanna tell us your name?" he said gently.

"Rick." She said. Rick sighed, figuring that that wasn't her name.

"Y'all come on in here." Daryl said, drawing his attention from the woman.

"Everything alright?" He asked as he stood.

"You're gonna wanna see this."

"Go ahead." Rick said to the others, eyeing the woman. "Carl, get the bag."

He then looked down at the woman, holding her sword up.

"We'll keep this safe and sound. The doors are all locked. You'll be safe here. And we can treat that."

She seethed.

"I didn't ask for your help."

"Doesn't matter." Rick said, sighing. "We can't let you leave, not until we know you won't bring back an army to take our home."

She glared at him as they left the area, Daryl locking the door behind them, and Rick wondered what was going on as he saw Lori leaning against the door of one of the cells.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" He said to her as he reached the cell, but his attention was immediately fixed on the occupant instead.

Carol sat up, leaning out from under the bed and smiling up at Rick. He grinned back, reaching out for her as she stood and wrapping her in a tight hug. He laughed as he realised he hadn't failed her, he hadn't lost as much as he'd thought he had.

"How?" Hershel said, taking Rick's place and hugging her.

"Solitary." She said, sniffing happily.

"Poor thing fought her way into a cell. Must have passed out. Dehydrated." Daryl said, smiling.

Carol turned to Lori, who grinned and hugged her awkwardly what with her bandaged arm. Carol looked at the injury and pressed a hand to her mouth.

"I'm sorry." She said. Lori fought back tears and shook her head.

"It's fine. I'm just glad you're okay."

"Dad."

Rick looked up, seeing Carl looking at the gate where the woman was watching them, her expression unreadable. Everyone stared at her.

"Who's that?" Lori asked.

"We don't know yet." Was all Rick said, turning back to Carol and giving her a warm smile.


	102. When the dead come knocking: Part 2

S3E7P2

Not long after the reunion, Rick, Daryl and Hershel returned to the area with the woman, who was sitting at the table and appeared fully herself again. She watched the men with careful eyes.

"We can tend to that wound for you, give you a little food and water, and then send you on your way. But you're gonna have to tell us how you found us."

The woman stared a while longer and Rick sighed, wondering if this would have to get ugly. He greatly hoped it wouldn't.

"You're Rick Grimes." She said eventually and Rick clenched his jaw, sharing a look with the others, who were looking at her with the same hint of wariness. He turned back to her.

"How do you know my name?"

The womans' lips twitched into the tiniest of smiles, ruined by her overall defensiveness.

"Ava's alive."

Rick froze, staring at her, unable to comprehend the words.

"What?" Daryl said.

The woman continued to stare at Rick. He stumbled back a few feet, physically knocked by the weight of her words.

"That's not possible." He said, his voice barely a whisper.

"She told me your name." The woman continued. "She and Andrea escaped the farm. I've been with them ever since."

Everything was a blur. After the last few days, Rick had finally thought he'd come to grips with losing Ava, but now fresh wounds were being reopened and he hated it. He forced himself to breathe and tried to quiet his frantic heart. He rubbed his eyes and found them wet with tears.

"If that's true, where are they?"

"With the other two from your group."

"Glenn and Maggie?" Hershel said. The woman nodded.

"Where are they now?" Daryl asked.

"They were taken."

Every muscle in Rick's body was rebelling, simultaneously taught like a bow string and powerless like jelly. He wanted to hit something and fall to the ground. He didn't know what to think.

"Taken? By who?" Hershel pressed.

"By the same son of a bitch who shot me." She growled. "I'll kill him."

"Where were they taken?" Daryl added.

"There's a town. Woodbury. About 75 survivors. Andrea, Ava and I were there for a few days but the place was off. Ava knew it straight away. Andrea took some convincing."

"Stop." Rick said, shaking his head. "Stop. I can't…I can't deal with this right now. How do I know you're telling the truth? How can I trust that Ava's alive?"

The woman frowned at him.

"Why is it so hard to believe? She's tough. Nothing breaks her."

"Sure as hell sounds like Ava." Daryl said, looking hopeful. "And how else would she know your name or Andrea and Ava?"

"I don't…" Rick blinked, rubbing more tears from his eyes. "I don't know but I just can't accept it. I can't."

"Why not?" The woman pressed.

"Because I lost her once and it almost destroyed me. I lose her again and it will."

The woman pursed her lips.

"She's pregnant."

Rick froze again. He'd known this, of course, but now knowing she was alive…That meant she was damned near ready to give birth. So if she really was alive, she was a prisoner and about to have his baby.

All the blood rushed from his body and Rick swayed. Daryl grabbed his shoulder.

"Are you alright?"

He looked Daryl right in the eye and stared for a moment. Was he alright? No he bloody wasn't, but if there was even a chance of what she was saying being true, then he knew he had to focus. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"This place?" He said, turning to the woman. "It's a whole town?"

She nodded.

"It's run by this guy who calls himself the Governor. Pretty boy, charming, Jim Jones type."

"He got muscle?" Daryl asked.

"Paramilitary wannabes. They have armed sentries on every wall."

"You know a way in?" Rick asked.

"The place is secure from walkers, but we could slip our way through."

Rick nodded, already thinking through a plan, working on how to save them.

"How'd you know how to get here?" Hershel asked.

"Heard them mention a prison, said which direction it was in, said it was a straight shot."

Rick nodded again and rubbed his face.

"This is Hershel." he said, pointing to the older man. "He's the father of the girl who was taken. He'll take care of that."

The woman nodded, her hostility wearing away ever so slightly.

"Michonne." She said.

"Nice to meet you." Rick said absentmindedly, already heading into the Cell Block with Daryl.


	103. When the dead come knocking: Part 3

S3E7P3

When Rick returned to the others, he found Daryl had told them Maggie and Glenn had been caught, but he hadn't mentioned Ava or Andrea yet. He patted him on the shoulder and thanked him as he joined the conversation.

"How do you know we can trust her?" Oscar said.

"This is Maggie and Glenn." Beth argued. "Why are we even debating?"

"We're not." Rick said, stepping up and looking at each and every one of them, his gaze sitting on Lori a moment longer than the others. She frowned.

"There's more to this than Daryl has said, but it's not just Maggie and Glenn these people have and she's not just a stranger." He swallowed, looking up as Hershel and Carl joined them. "Her name is Michonne and she knows Ava and Andrea."

A collective gasp went around the room. Carl's jaw dropped and Lori stared at Rick wide eyed.

"They're alive?" Carol said, pressing a hand to her chest. Rick nodded.

"They're also being held captive with Glenn and Maggie. But they're very much alive."

No one said anything for a moment, Carol grinning to herself and Oscar looking confused.

"I'm guessing these are people you know?"

"They used to be in the group, but we got separated." Daryl said. "Now we're gonna get them back."

"Well, this place sounds pretty secure." He said.

"I can't make people go." Rick said. "And I can't make them fight what is gonna be a dangerous battle. But I have to go and I'd appreciate any help."

"You ain't leaving me behind." Daryl said. Rick nodded his thanks.

"I'll go." Beth said.

"Me, too." Axel said as he stepped forward. Oscar shared a look with him.

"I'm in."

Rick nodded, taking a deep, steadying breath and trying not to think of what awaited him at Woodbury. He was only keeping it together because he was thinking about the mission, not the outcome.

They started packing things, preparing to go when Lori stopped Rick.

"I haven't got time for this, Lori."

"I know, and I don't want to distract you or anything. I've just got to know how do you know she's telling the truth? She could be playing you. This man – the Governor – could have sent her on purpose. This could be a trap."

"Even if it is, I'm going."

Lori sighed.

"Rick-"

"Ava's still pregnant."

Lori stared at him with wide eyes, face a shade paler than it had been a second ago.

"She's still carrying my child and given how long it's been, she'll be giving birth any day now. I can't…I can't just leave her there. I need to be there for her. I need to help her like I didn't at the farm.

"I'm sorry, Rick." Lori said, wiping away tears. "I'm so sorry."

He looked at her one final time and walked out of the prison.

Rick exited the prison, moving across the courtyard as people started preparing the gates so they could leave.

"Wasn't this place overrun?" he heard Michonne say.

"It was." Beth said.

"And you cleared it out all by yourselves? Just the few of you?"

"My daddy got bit, but yeah..."

He kept moving, spotting Carl and putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Come on." He said, leading him aside while the others kept working. He knelt down in front of him.

"You know everything's going to be okay, right?"

Carl nodded.

"You're going to get Ava and Andrea back. And Glenn and Maggie."

Rick nodded, smiling.

"Yeah. Guess you'll have to brush up on your card games."

Carl chuckled. He'd been carrying around the pack of cards she had given him ever since but hadn't played them once. Rick had known the reason why. He was trying not to think of her just like he had done.

"And Carl…" Rick swallowed, trying to think of the best way to tell him this. "You remember that Ava was pregnant at the farm?"

Carl nodded.

"Well, Michonne says she still is and that she's close to giving birth. And the baby…"He swallowed, still struggling to comprehend the feelings himself. "The baby is mine. Which means it'll be your baby brother or sister. I just thought you should know that before we come back."

Carl frowned but nodded.

"Okay." He said. "I'll see if I can find anything the baby might like while you're gone."

Rick smiled at his son and pulled him into a hug.

"I love you Carl."

"Love you too, Dad."

They separated and headed back to the others, Carl running over to his mum and everyone gathered to say goodbye to the rescue party. Rick headed towards the car.

"Bring them back." Hershel said, struggling to hold back tears. Rick nodded and got in.

Rick stopped the car when Michonne said to, the four of them exiting the vehicle and looking around.

"They have patrols." Michonne said. "We're better off on foot."

"How far?" Rick said, looking up at the sky. "Night's coming."

"It's a mile, maybe two." She said, and the group went to the boot for their supplies, loading up before heading into the forests. They walked through the woods for a bit until Daryl caught Rick's attention, looking to the dead in the trees.

"Down." Rick said, and the four of them crouched low, watching the walkers amble closer.

"Get in formation. No gunfire." He said, already moving forward and swinging a machete into a walkers' head.

They took a fair few of them down, Rick noticing Michonne watching, impressed, but they couldn't fight them all off.

"There's too many of them." Daryl said.

"This way." Rick said, pointing to a clear patch that they started running through. Eventually they came to a barn of some sorts and Rick pointed the machete towards it.

"Through there. Come on."

They burst inside, looking around for danger but finding mostly darkness.

"Get the door."

With the room sealed, the four looked around for any help in their situation. Rick pressed the back of his hand to his nose.

"That smell, it's loud." Daryl said, moving deeper into the blacked out house and waving his torch around.

"What the hell is that?" Oscar said.

Eventually Daryl found the source of the decay. It was a dog.

"I guess Lassie went home." He said. Rick looked to the doors, the walkers banging and scratching against it in a desperate bid for food. He continued to survey the area and stopped when he heard movement. He looked to Daryl and nodded.

Daryl got into position as Rick moved towards the bed where something was moving below the covers. He grabbed the covers and pulled.


	104. When the dead come knocking: Part 4

S3E7P4

A man jumped up from the bed, staring in shock at the newcomers.

"Who the hell are you?" he said, drawing a shotgun on them. Rick dodged back and held his arms out, trying to calm the guy.

"We don't mean any harm." He said.

"Get outta my house!" The man yelled.

"Okay, okay. We will, but we can't right now."

"Now!" The man insisted.

"Shut him up." Michonne hissed, looking back at the doors.

"Get out right now!"

"There are walkers outside." Rick said, trying to get through to man.

It didn't work though. The man looked at them all, breathing heavily.

"I'll call the cops!" he said eventually.

"I am a cop." Rick growled. "Now I need you to lower the gun. Don't do anything rash. Everything's fine."

Rick crouched down and put his gun and machete on the ground, standing once more with outstretched arms.

"Let's just…let's just take this nice and slow, okay? Look at me. Hey, hey."

The man looked up and cocked the gun. Rick held his calm, panic only a brief flash through his head, a flash of never seeing Ava, of dying so close to when they would have been reunited, of never seeing his child.

"Show me your badge." The man said.

"All right." Rick swallowed. "It's in my pocket. It's in my pocket. Now, I'm just gonna reach down nice and slow."

Rick did as he said, but spun quickly, reaching up and grabbing the gun from the mans hands before grabbing him.

"Let go! Let go of me! I'll kill you!" The man continued to scream and shout despite warnings from the others to be quiet. Eventually he bit Rick and raced for the door.

"Don't open that door." Rick warned, but right as he got to it, Michonne stabbed him in the chest.

They all stared at her for a second, but they didn't have time to dawdle. Daryl ran past the body and looked out the window, seeing the wooden planks beginning to fail.

"Remember the Alamo?" he said.

Rick looked down at the body and knelt down beside the man, Daryl running to join him.

"Help me with the door." Rick said.

"You've gotta be kidding." Oscar groaned.

"He's dead. Check the back."

Oscar ran to the back of the house and peered out of the door.

"It's clear!"

Rick nodded to Michonne.

"One, two, three."

She opened the door and Daryl and Rick pushed the body out, the walkers immediately falling on it as they made their escape out the back. They looped back around to the front, but the walkers were far too interest in the fresh body to care about them.

Ava was unimaginably bored, but the fear the three of them felt was palpable and kept the hours from dragging. They'd tried to distract themselves by talking about what had happened over the past seven months. Ava knew about T-Dog and Carol, about how Hershel and Lori had been bit, their limbs amputated. She also knew about Rick and how he had been in those months. It broke her heart to hear how haunted he was, but relieved to hear he finally seemed to have gotten better. She wanted more than anything to see him, so much so that it physically hurt.

A little while later, their door opened and the Governor came in with one of his guards. Ava couldn't remember his name.

"Philip." Andrea said, but stopped when she saw the look in his eyes, the look that had been masked by charm and charisma. This was the real man, the real Governor.

"Put Andrea in with the other one." He said, prompting his guard to come around and grab Andrea, forcing her to stand. Ava tried to help her but with her hands tied she could do very little. The Governor came forward and grabbed Ava's arms, dragging her roughly to her feet.

"Showing your true colours now aren't you?" She growled. He ignored her and dragged her into another room where Glenn stood ready to attack, but froze when he saw Ava. She gaped at him.

"Where is Michonne?" The Governor asked, pushing Ava against the wall.

"I don't know." She said. "And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

The Governor smiled to himself, then lashed out. The punch came too fast for Ava to react, not that she could have done much in her condition. With her arms tied she could do nothing to stop her fall and landed heavily on her side, dazed.

"You would have been a great member of this community. Shame you had to ruin it."

"Bastard!" Glenn yelled, immediately at her side. Ava looked up at him and tried to glare at the Governor, but her head hurt too much and she lost consciousness.

When she opened her eyes again, it appeared a lot of time had passed. Glenn stared at her as she blinked, reaching to help her as she struggled to sit.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, but that on its own sent throbbing pain through her brain. She tried not to move her head.

Glenn startled as they heard noises outside and lunged for a piece of chair leg, raising it as he prepared to attack whoever came through. Merle and the other guard came in with guns held high, as well as Andrea.

"Hey!" Merle said as Glenn lunged at him. "Drop it."

Glenn did, sagging.

"God, Ava. What did he do to you?"

Ava blinked, looking up at them, a little too dazed to fully comprehend what was happening. Merle looked over at her for the first time and his expression stiffened. The other guard threw Andrea at Ava and Andrea went to touch her face. Ava yelped and batted her away.

Not long after that, the Governor came waltzing in with Maggie, who wasn't wearing a top. She stared at Glenn, fighting back tears. Ava stared in shock and felt a rage she hadn't felt since the soldiers roll through her.

"We're through with games." The Governor said, pulling out his gun. "Now one of you is gonna give up your camp."

No one said anything and Ava was glad that she didn't know, because she didn't know if she could hold out if her friend or – god forbid – her children were at stake. The Governor stalked towards Glenn and put the gun to his head.

"The prison." Maggie whimpered, stepping forward but she was stopped by Merle's outstretched arm.

"The one near Nunez?" Merle said. "That place is overrun."

"We took it." Maggie said.

"How many are you?" The Governor said, holding the gun to Glenn's forehead.

"10. We have 10 now."

"10 people cleared that whole prison of biters? Huh?" the Governor said. Maggie nodded. "And they know Andrea and Ava?"

Maggie nodded again. The Governor took the gun away from Glenn and crouched down in front of Ava.

"Is the daddy with them?"

Ava said nothing but Philip raised the gun and put it to Andrea's head.

"Yes, godammit." She said, seething. The Governor chuckled and stood. Ava looked to Andrea, who was staring at Philip with murderous rage.

He moved to the door where Maggie still stood, tears streaming down her face.

"Hey, hey." He said, wiping a tear from her cheek. "Shh, shh, shh. It's all right. It's all right."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him while she sobbed and kissing her on the forehead. Ava was clenching her fists so tightly that she left little cuts along her palm. Merle didn't look at him or the display, his eyes unwillingly finding Ava's. All he saw in those eyes was disgust and hatred.

"Shh. It's all right." The Governor continued before looking smugly at Glenn. He turned her around and pushed Maggie at Glenn, the two immediately embracing. Maggie cried as Glenn scowled at them. The Governor didn't linger, but Merle did, looking at Maggie and Glenn with something akin to guilt, then looking at Ava and Andrea.

"I hope you never find Daryl." Ava said. "For his sake. Because he'd be disgusted by what you've done."

Merle stared at her for a moment, the anger leeching from his expression as tears poured down her face.

"Sorry, Posh." He said, before leaving them alone.


	105. Made to suffer: Part 1

S3E8P1

The four prisoners sat in silence.

Andrea and Ava leaned against the wall opposite Glenn and Maggie. She was now wearing Glenns' shirt and stared at nothing, as most of them did. The despair of the situation was sinking in and Ava had begun to wonder if she would ever leave Woodbury. Would the Governor keep her alive long enough to have the babies? It seemed likely. He was a bastard but Ava imagined he'd tell the town she died in childbirth – a believable story given the lack of medical care and the fact she had twins. He'd give them to someone else, maybe women who'd lost their children in the outbreak.

They'd be raised there. They'd never even know her name.

Grief and terror became friends in her. Even Andreas' hand in hers was icy. Whenever her friend looked over, her face would tighten and the glare would be refreshed when she turned it back on the wall. Given the ache in her face, she imagined it was the black eye that was renewing her anger.

"Maggie," Glenn said, when the silence grew too much. "Did he-"

"No." Maggie said, turning to him with glistening eyes. "No. He barely touched me."

Ava closed her eyes, silent tears falling down her face. She didn't realise she had any left. Tears seemed to fall non-stop for her. She could blame it on the pregnancy, but maybe she was just tired of trying to be hopeful.

Maggie and Glenn stared deep into each others' eyes. Words were not needed to express the pain and love shared between them. Ava wished she had something to give Glenn. His face was a mess of cuts and bruises, swelling closing up most of his vision. He didn't complain though.

"All this time," Maggie said. "Running from walkers, you forget what people do, have always done."

Ava blinked. She'd never forgotten, but she'd had the courtesy of being in almost the same position Maggie had been in. To walk in fear whenever men were near, to cringe at every brush of foliage on your body, certain it was a stray hand. She shivered at the reminder. Bloodlust had never been something she'd experienced, not until the soldiers and not at all since. She felt it again now, writhing in her stomach. The burning desire to kill that man.

"Look at what they did to you." Maggie said to Glenn.

"Doesn't matter." He said, seething. "As long as he didn't."

"No. I promise."

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her, soft sobs echoing through the room as they held one another.

Andrea stood. Ava frowned at her as she marched around her legs and moved over to the walkers body. She turned it over. Grabbing its arm, she planted her boot on the join and groaned as she ripped the limb from its socket.

"What are you doing?" Ava asked, trying to stand, failing, and turning so she could use the wall for support.

"I'll be damned if we're gonna just sit here until he comes back to kill us." Andrea said, ripping the flesh of the arm open. She dragged the bones of the forearm free and held one out to Glenn, who had also come to see what she was doing.

"Do we have a plan beyond attack?" Ava said, taking another bone from Andrea. She went to work on the other arm.

"Can you think of another plan?"

Ava frowned.

"Guess not."

Outside the gates of Woodbury, Rick, Oscar, Michonne and Daryl crouched behind and derelict car and watched the patrols' lazy pacing of the wall. His blood itched. Rick didn't know that was something that could happen, but it did. His blood was filled with fizzy bubbles all floating in the same direction: towards Ava, wherever she was.

Inside that wall, supposedly.

He was still trying not to get his hopes up, to remind himself periodically that she might not be there.

It was getting harder.

Rick turned at the sound of a huff and saw Michonne moving away from the car and into the bushes.

"Hey." Rick whisper-yelled. "Hey!"

She ignored him.

"Damn it." He growled, pushing the group away from the car and back into the bushes. Down to three already and they hadn't even started. "Alright, we need to downsize."

Rick unhooked his shotgun and handed it to Oscar, the bag of supplies put between them as they worked out what they needed and what they didn't.

"Ain't no way we're gonna check in all them buildings," Daryl said. "Not with all them guards there."

Rick looked up again at the wall and knew he was right, but the three snapped around at the break of a twig, guns raised, only to see Michonne. She gestured for them to follow her without so much as flinching.

The men looked at each other, Michonne already moving.

"All right, let's go." Daryl muttered and they crouch-ran after Ava's supposed friend.

She managed to get them inside the Woodbury walls, sneaking them through a boarded up door with some of the boards missing. Rick ducked under but quickly straightened, taught as a bow string as anticipation and nerves kept his body alive.

Michonne crept forward with her hand on her sword, edging into the darkness. The room was clearly used, but currently empty.

"This is where you were held?" Rick said, looking around at the desks and chairs. It looked a little like a small school room.

"I was questioned. So was Ava."

Rick looked up, a shiver running through him. Ava had been in this room. Recently.

"Why?"

"We took out some walkers locked in a cage."

Ricks' lips twitched at that, trying to imagine a heavily pregnant Ava taking out a load of walkers. His heart glowed. The thought almost stymied him but he managed to remember that she could still be gone.

"Any idea where else they could be?" Rick asked, shaking away such distracting thoughts. Hearing a faint noise, Daryl moved to the curtained door and twitched the fabric aside a sliver, peering out into the street.

"I thought you said there was a curfew." Daryl said as Rick moved to his side and saw the people milling about.

"The street is packed during the day." Michonne said. "Those are stragglers."

"If anyone comes in here, we're sitting ducks. We gotta move." Rick said.

"They could be in his apartment." Michonne said.

Rick and Daryl turned to her, moving away from the door.

"Yeah?" Daryl said. "What if they ain't?"

"Then we'll look somewhere else."

"You said you could help us." Rick said.

"I'm doing what I can." She growled.

"Then where in the hell are they?" Oscar said.

Michonne round on Rick, eyes burning with rage.

"I want to find them as much as you do. Andrea and Ava are my friends. You may have guessed I don't have many."

Rick swallowed and rubbed his head.

"Alright." He said, holding back his doubts and distrust. "But we still need a plan."

"Right now it's the blind leading the blind." Daryl said, earning a glare from Michonne. "Let's split up."

Rick went to agree with that plan when there was a knock at the door.


	106. Made to suffer: Part 2

S3E8P2

The four froze, instantly moving to hide as the door was unlocked. The darkness gave them protection as the man walked in.

"I know you're in here." He said. "I saw you moving from outside."

Rick held his breath, steeling his nerves as he watched the man. Whatever he had to do to get to his people, he'd do it.

"Alright, now. You're not supposed to be in here and you know it. Who's in here?"

The footsteps reached Ricks' side. He jumped from behind the curtain and shoved the man against the wall, making sure he saw the gun in his face.

"Shut up." Rick growled. "Get on your knees. Hands behind your back."

The man did as he said.

"Zip tie him."

Daryl obeyed and Rick kneeled down to look the man in the eye.

"Where are our people?"

The man looked at him, wide-eyed.

"I don't know."

"You are holding some of our people. Where the hell are they?"

"I don't know." The man said again. Shock seemed to be wearing away, fear replacing it. Rick grabbed a rag from his pocket, but then he thought of something.

"Some women came here not so long ago. Less than a week. You remember them?"

"I…I…"

"One of them was very pregnant."

"Oh." The man said, frowning. "Yeah, I think I remember that. I mean, I don't really pay much attention to newcomers, but I heard a rumour that a pregnant lady decided to leave. Everyone thought she was crazy."

Rick looked up at Michonne, who gave him a look that suggested she was done with his scepticism. Rick swallowed, his hope ballooning once more.

"Open your mouth."

The man did and Rick shoved the cloth inside, then Daryl knocked him out with the butt of his gun.

The prisoners stood to attention as footsteps came through. Andrea stood near the front of the doors with Maggie and Glenn behind. It agitated Ava to be hiding at the back, but she knew it was necessary. She held her bone in one hand and patted her stomach with the other, making a silent promise to keep them safe from this place.

The door opened and Andrea rushed at Merle, Glenn following, holding his sword arm aside. Maggie slammed the other man into the wall and Ava jabbed her bone into his throat. She ripped it out and the man fell, firing his gun as he did. Ava dove aside to avoid being shot, all but falling back into the cell. She managed to grab the doorframe, but dropped her weapon.

As Rick and the others moved to the door, gunshots echoed through the streets, providing chaos and fear in the people outside, who ran to see what was happening. With the street cleared, the group moved out.

When Ava looked back at the room, she found Maggie trapped beneath the body, slowly pushing him aside. She went to help as Andrea and Glenn wrestled with Merle. It would have been no contest, but Glenns' weakened state made it difficult for him to help. Andrea jabbed the bone at Merle, but it caught the metal stump, cracking and falling to pieces.

Merle threw Andrea aside and twisted Glenn, flipping him onto his back and holding his blade to his throat. In the same moment, Maggie was freed and grabbed the gun, holding it at Merle.

"Let him go!" She yelled.

Merle looked at Glenn, then back up at the others. Ava had moved to Andrea's side and helped her stand.

"Okay." Merle said with a cocky smile on his face. In that moment, more guards come in behind Maggie, their guns raised. Ava groaned.

"I really thought you weren't the dick I met in Atlanta, but I was wrong." She spat, glaring at Merle.

His face hardened and he looked away with – could it be? – shame. He jumped to his feet and yanked the gun from Maggie.

"Give me the gun!" He growled, then kicked Glenn. "Get up!"

Glenn was groaning on the ground, unable to do much. Ava glared at every single one of them as the men moved them, forcing them to their knees.

Ava took Glenn and Andreas' hands as they were either side of her. Merle knelt down and she made a point of not looking at him. He sighed.

"Come on, Posh. It doesn't have to be this way. I could convince the Governor to keep you alive till the babies are born. Wouldn't you prefer that?"

Ava thought for a moment, but the answer already seemed clear to her and it broke her heart. She met his gaze.

"No."

He looked at her in shock and she fought back sobs, unable to keep the tears from streaming down her face. Merle stood, shaking his head, and paced before them.

"Glad we could catch up." He said.

Glenn turned to Maggie.

"Just keep looking at me." He said, taking her hand. Tears streaked through the grime and blood on her face.

"I love you." She said just as a bag was put over her head. Glenn turned to look at Ava just as the bag was put over his head. She did the same and turned to Andrea, the two sharing a teary-eyed look before the bag was on her head too.

Ava sucked in a breath. This was real. She was going to die. Her babies were going to die. Would they turn inside her, even if she was shot in the head? What would happen then? They'd crawl from her dead stomach or eat their way out? Ava heaved just at the thought, but they weren't given much time to dwell on it.

"On your feet, move." One of them said, hands grabbing at her arms and taping them before her. They rested comfortably on her stomach and she tried to caress the bump, but couldn't get the angle right.

They were moved, shuffling in blindness, but hadn't gotten far when something clattered across the ground. Ava frowned, but it took very little time for whatever it was to blow. Everyone screamed, thrown back as something filled the space. They were coughing, spluttering. Ava could taste something bitter in the air, but the bag was actually protecting her.

She stumbled backwards, shoved by unseeing eyes, and eventually found herself pressed against a wall. Hope flooded through her. Were they being saved? Was this the time to get free?

She grabbed the bag over her face and dragged it off. Immediately her world filled with smoke and her eyes stung, her throat burned. She stumbled away from the wall and someone grabbed her, a tight grip on her forearm dragging her away. She tried to hit at it but they were relentless. She ducked as bullets ricocheted above.

They kept running, Ava blinded by tears and struggling to breathe. Whoever had her arm now wrapped it around her shoulders, cutting the tape with a familiar sword.

"Michonne?"

The name was lost in a coughing fit.

As the tear-gas wore off, Ava blinked at the world around her. They were in the streets of Woodbury, a group of them running in the dark. She recognised Andrea and Maggie before her. And there was Glenn, supported by…

Ava almost stopped dead in her tracks. She did stumble, someone else – a black man she didn't know – coming to her other side as they ducked into the building she'd been interrogated in not so long ago.

Her throat, so sore before, was thick with tears and disbelief.

As they got inside, Michonne unhooked Ava's arm and shut the door behind them, trapped outside. Ava moved away from the stranger. Glenn had collapsed to the floor and Maggie was beside him, but Ava had eyes for only one person.

Rick.


	107. Made to suffer: Part 3

S3E8P3

He hadn't thought about it. When he threw the tear-gas and grabbed Glenn from the fog, he hadn't thought about Ava being among them, that she was in the group hustling along in the dark.

Now they were inside, safe for a second, and she was there.

Her hair was shorter, wild brown curls framing a dirt-smeared face that looked up at him in shock and her globe of a belly made her impossible to miss.

Rick dropped his gun, all strength leaving his body. It was true. She was alive. She was alive and right in front of him.

He surged forward as the tears came, wrapping his arms around her as she did the same to him. The belly – his child – pressed into his stomach but he didn't care. He held her tighter and heard her sobbing in his ear. She could probably hear him doing the same. Nothing else mattered. They needed to escape but nothing else mattered. Glenn was hurt but nothing else mattered. Nothing but her.

When he finally let go, only doing so to see her face once more, he grinned so wide his cheeks hurt. She smiled back, laughing and crying. The material of his shirt was fisted in her hands. He cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers.

The kiss wasn't tender and loving. It was desperate and euphoric. A single kiss describing in a second all the pain they had felt in the months of separation.

"Ain't no way out back here." Daryl said softly. Rick turned and they saw the whole group watching them with smiles on their faces. Glenn was beaming through the pain and even Oscar was smiling. Rick turned back to Ava and moved his hands to her stomach, feeling the swell of his child for the first time.

"How bad are you hurt?" Daryl asked Glenn, kneeling down beside him.

"I'll be all right." He groaned.

Rick felt the solid lump of his child and knew there was so much to say, so much to ask, but they didn't have the time. He looked back up at Ava, who smiled ruefully.

"No rest for the wicked."

Rick laughed, not just at her words but at the sound of her voice. He brushed a thumb along her cheek, moving aside a strand of hair.

"We'll have time." Was his answer, before he pulled his arms away from her. That was arguably the most painful thing he'd ever had to do.

"Where's Michonne?" Andrea asked, looking around.

"She let go of me just as we got inside. I think she'd out there." Ava said. Andrea groaned, then smiled at Rick as he patted her on the shoulder.

"Should we go after her?" Daryl asked. Ava shook her head.

"As much as I want to, I know Michonne. She'll have a plan and we don't have the time to be searching for her."

Andrea nodded. Daryl reached out and patted Ava on the arm.

"Good to see you, crazy."

Ava chuckled, remembering how he'd called her Crazy Bones when they staggered, injured, back to the farm. She grabbed Daryl and pulled him into a hug. He was tense for a moment, then relaxed and hugged her back. Rick watched, his heart a swell of joy in his chest. Taking his eyes away from her was difficult, watching the way she moved, the way their child had changed her body. It was mesmerising. Only the others, still firmly in the urgent situation, allowed him to pull back his focus.

"Daryl," Glenn said, panting as Maggie wrapped a shirt around him. "This was Merle."

Daryl perked, looking at him in shock.

"It was." Ava said. "He did this."

Daryl looked between them.

"You saw him?" Rick said, glancing at Ava.

"Face to face." Glenn said. "Threw a walker at me. He was gonna execute us."

"S-So my brother's this governor?" Daryl said.

"No, the Governor's somebody else." Andrea said. "His name's Philip. Real charismatic bastard."

"Your brother's his lieutenant or something." Maggie said.

"Does he know I'm still with you?" Daryl said, his voice growing in pitch.

"He does now." Glenn said. "Rick, I'm sorry. We told him where the prison was. We couldn't hold out."

Rick moved to Glenn's side, patting his arm.

"Don't. No need to apologize."

He stood again, his fingers brushing Ava's arm as he moved to the window and peered out.

"They're gonna be looking for us." Andrea said.

Rick nodded.

"We have to get back." He said, standing. "Can you walk? We got a car a few miles out."

Glenn nodded.

"I'm good."

Rick turned to Ava and stopped, noticing for the first time the angry purple bruise around her eye. A rage he hadn't felt in a long time exploded like a volcano inside him, but he took a deep breath and allowed himself to seethe. They had more important things to worry about and he couldn't just run off to kill whoever did that to her. He moved to her side, taking her hand.

"What about you? You okay to move?"

She nodded.

"I'll be fine, Rick."

His name from her lips. It was a delight to the senses. He moved back to help Glenn stand.

"Hey, if Merle's around, I need to see him." Daryl said.

"Not now." Rick said. "We're in hostile territory."

"He's my brother. I ain't-"

"Look at what he did!" Rick argued, gesturing to the former prisoners, each of whom had some form of bruise or cut from the ordeal. "He was going to kill them. He was going to kill a pregnant woman. Look, we gotta get out of here now."

Daryl looked at Ava and the others.

"Maybe I can talk to him." Daryl argued. "Maybe I can work something out."

"No, no, no. You're not thinking straight. Look, no matter what they say, they're hurt. Glenn can barely walk. Ava's hurt and pregnant and exhausted. How are we gonna make it out if we get overrun by walkers and this Governor catches up to us? I need you. Are you with me?"

It took a moment, but Daryl nodded, his shock fading away.

"Yeah."


	108. Made to suffer: Part 4

S3E8P4

The group prepared. Rick handed Andrea and Ava a gun as Daryl grabbed another smoke bomb. Ava couldn't stop staring at Rick. After all this time, he was right there, same as always. In moments, it felt like nothing had happened. The group was the same as always, strong and resolute and Rick was in charge. She kept studying his face, the lines of his jaw, the sweat on his brow, committing it to memory as if it would soon be gone.

Ava checked the mag of her gun, then that the safety was off, and tried to focus on getting out alive. They moved to the door, ready to run. Daryl nodded to Rick.

"On three." He said. "Stay tight. One, two, three."

Rick opened the door and Daryl tossed the bomb out into the night. It clattered, then smoke began to billow. Daryl threw another and it did the same. Rick waited a second longer

"Let's go!"

They ran out into the street, trying to stay low, to stay together.

"There they are!" People shouted.

Gunshots began to echo around them. Ava shot when she could see, trying to wound as opposed to kill. These weren't all bad people, just misguided. Rick and Daryl fired back too and they ran through the fog, focusing their attack on the men on patrol.

Ava's breath was laboured running with the extra weight, but she persisted, and Rick was constantly looking back, making sure she was still there.

"Behind you!" Daryl yelled, turning back as more men shot at them.

"Go!" Rick yelled to them. "Get cover! Get there. Go, go, go!"

They raced out of the street, running for cover. They all crowded into a doorway. Ava panted heavily, trying to hold her weight of her stomach to alleviate some of the pain. Rick gave her a concerned look but she waved him off.

"How many?" he said, turning to the others.

"I didn't see." Daryl said. "Don't matter. There's gonna be more of them. We need to move."

"Any grenades left?" Rick asked, searching through the bag for more supplies. He held a fresh mag to Ava without having to look, then another to Andrea. Both women replaced them.

"Uh-huh." Daryl said, finding the grenades.

"Get 'em ready." Rick said. "We gotta gun it to the wall."

Andrea leaned out around their shelter and fired at whoever was shooting.

"You guys go ahead." Daryl said, slapping ammo into a rifle. "I'm gonna lay down some cover fire."

"No, we gotta stay together." Maggie said.

"Too hairy. I'll be right behind you."

Rick didn't argue. Ava knew they had little choice left. Maggie joined Andrea and shot past the wall.

"Ready?" Daryl said, ducking out of cover and tossing another grenade.

"Move!" Rick yelled. He, Daryl and the other man ran between the gunmen and the others. Ava move to Glenns' other side as Maggie struggled, pulling his arm around her shoulders and trying to ignore how much her knees hurt.

"Keep going!" Rick yelled, his voice the only inspiration Ava needed. She panted her way through the rest of the run. They got to the front of a bus that was used for the fence, crowding into the small space and using it as mild cover. The black man jumped onto the hood and helped Glenn up, but just as Glenn got into the roof, the man was shot in the gut.

He fell, Rick getting the man who killed him right in the face.

"Rick!" Maggie yelled. Ava turned the man over and saw that he was dead. Andrea jumped onto the hood of the truck and grabbed Avas' hand, pulling her up.

"Rick!" She yelled, looking out into the fog as Andrea pushed her up onto the bus.

Maggie, sobbing, shot the man in the head to stop him from turning and turned to the bus. Andrea helped her up, then everyone helped Andrea up just as Rick arrived.

He climbed up, looking back only once.

"Daryl!" he shouted, but the man was nowhere to be seen.

"Rick!" Ava sobbed. "We've got to go."

He turned to her with wild eyes, panting, but climbed up with her, sheltering her from any possible bullets as they climbed down the other side.

Finally free of Woodbury, they raced past the walls and stopped behind a gutted car looking up at the walls.

"Get down." Rick said, looking back at them. Glenn groaned as he was sat down and Ava crouched, but found she couldn't stay like that. She fell to one said side, landing on her butt and allowing herself a moment to rest. Rick looked at her and she nodded, smiling breathlessly. He turned back to the fences.

"Come on, Daryl." He muttered.

They all turned as they heard something coming. Rick stood, putting his gun to whoever it was. He lowered it as Michonne staggered from beneath the box car.

"Where the hell were you?" Rick said. Ava struggled to her feet and Michonne hugged her tight. When they pulled back Ava smacked her on the arm.

"Where the hell were you? You can't just wander off like that."

Michonne pursed her lips, fighting back a smile.

"Doesn't matter." She said. "I'll tell you later."

Andrea pushed forward and embraced Michonne.

"What do we do now?" Maggie said.

Rick shared a look with Ava.

"We get Daryl back."


	109. The suicide king: Part 1

S3E9P1

Ava sat in the back of the car, trying to ignore the frantic nerves wriggling in her stomach. Rick, Andrea, Maggie and Michonne had taken them to the car and left a while ago to get back Daryl. The four of them were taking on Woodbury and Ava was terrified.

Rick was back, after so long, and now he was gone again and she couldn't be sure he would return. She rubbed her belly, trying not to think about how still her children were or the fact that she'd had two contractions since they'd stopped.

They had stopped too – more Braxton Hicks – but she knew it was coming soon. She just hoped they'd get back to the prison beforehand. Hershel was there. He could help. The thought of delivering twins on that road terrified her.

"Ava?" Glenn said. They were both in the back of the car, deemed unfit to go back. When Ava turned she realised she was crying. "Are you alright?"

Ava wiped away her tears and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm just…I suppose so much has happened in the last few days. Last week Andrea was really sick, I was worried about giving birth in a forest. I thought I was never going to see any of you again."

More tears fell and Glenn took her hand. Ava chuckled.

"I'm gonna blame the hormones for all this blubbering."

He smiled.

"Don't worry. I believe you."

Ava sighed and leaned back in the seat, resting her eyes for a moment. A moment stretched into an hour or two as when she woke the sun was coming out. Glenn was sat outside, rubbing his face and looking generally as concerned as she felt. She opened the door moments before they heard a voice.

"Glenn?"

"Rick?" Glenn said, standing. Ava got out of the car and looked past it, seeing the group heading back to them. Her heart warmed when she saw Rick and his face split into a smile. She grinned back, both of them moving into the trees to meet them.

"Rick. Thank God." Glenn said.

Ricks' smile faded a little and he held his hand out to Glenn.

"Now we got a problem here. I need you to back up."

Ava frowned, then looked past them, glad to see Daryl was back. But so was Merle.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Glenn yelled, trying to get at him. Ava clenched her jaw. Rick held him back, trying to calm Glenn down. Daryl did the same, defending his brother, who watched the ordeal with careful eyes.

"He tried to kill us!" Glenn yelled. "If it wasn't for him, me and Maggie would've got back. We would have brought Ava and Andrea back."

Rick swallowed, sending a glare to the other Dixon.

"He helped us get out of there." Daryl said.

"Yeah, right." Rick said. "After he beat the shit out of you."

"Hey, we both got our licks, man." Merle drawled.

"Jackass." Daryl said at the same time Ava said 'Asshole'.

"Hey, shut up." Merle said, scowling at his little brother.

"Enough!" Rick yelled. Glenn tried again to get past Rick, pulling his gun. Daryl stepped between them.

"Get that thing out of my face." Daryl growled.

"Man," Merle chuckled. "Looks like you've gone native, brother."

"No more than you hanging out with that psycho back there."

"Hey!" Ava yelled, stepping into the middle of the mess and scowling at everyone. "This has got to stop! We've got bigger things to worry about than how much of a dick Merle is. I'm pretty sure we can all agree it's a massive one."

Merle cocked a brow at her.

"Oh, it's massive all right, Posh."

Ava rolled her eyes, cursing the way that came out. Rick glared daggers at him.

"What I'm trying to say is that we all know Merle is a perverted, racist asshole. But he's also Daryl's brother."

"You want to let him go?" Glenn said, staring at her with wide eyes – or as wide as the swelling would allow. "After what he did? He almost killed you and your babies!"

"Oh, believe me, I owe him more than a kick in the balls for that – though I'd happily start there." Merles' brows rose. "But I think we owe it to Daryl to talk about this without weapons. We are capable of that, aren't we?"

Ava looked from Glenn to Michonne, who was glaring at Merle with one hand on her sword. Ava cocked a brow and she slowly relinquished. Glenn did the same, holding Maggie and glaring at the older Dixon. Even Andrea lowered her gun though she looked perfectly happy at the thought of ditching Merle. Daryl met her gaze and nodded in appreciation.

"Did you say babies?" Rick said, drawing her attention. He was staring at her in shock and Ava swallowed. She'd wanted to tell him when they had a proper moment. Glenn looked sheepish.

"Oh, yeah. You've got some powerful stuff in your boxers, Officer Friendly." Both Ava and Rick scowled at Merle. "Posh here's carrying twins."

Rick turned back to her, his shoulders rising and falling as deep breaths wracked his body. For a moment it looked like he was about to cry, to smile and laugh and hold her, but he couldn't. He swallowed, closing his eyes, and turned back to Merle.

"So what're you going to do now, Sheriff? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs and cowards."

"Shut up."

"Oh, man, look at this. Pathetic. All these guns and no bullets in them."

Rick seethed and Glenn went to lift his gun. Ava grabbed it and pushed it back down. Daryl, pissed, rounded on his brother.

"Shut up!"

"Shut up yourself!" Merle yelled, glaring at each of them. "Bunch of pussies you roll-"

Ava'd had enough. She was tired, fed-up, heavily pregnant and desperate to get to the prison. And Merle was seriously pissing her off. She moved forward and swung her fist, punching him hard in the face. The back of his head hit a tree and he went down.

"You read my mind." Rick said, looking down at the unconscious idiot. Ava bit her lip and shook her hand. She'd never really punched anyone before. Sure, she'd kicked and punched at the soldiers, but this was different. She turned to Daryl and shrugged.

"Sorry." She said. He shrugged back.

"Doesn't matter. He deserved it."

"Asshole." Rick said again, taking Ava's hand and having a quick look at it. Deciding there was no damage, he gave it gentle kiss and they moved back to the car to discuss their options.


	110. The suicide king: Part 2

_Authors note: There may be a hint in here. A hint about the future..._

S3E9P2

Rick sighed, his hand rubbing the small of Ava's back. He was doing it out of affection, but the immense relief of pain Ava felt from it almost made her groan.

"It won't work." He said.

"It's gotta." Daryl retorted.

Ava pursed her lips, trying to think of a way things could work, but honestly, they wouldn't. Not with Merle being the way he is. He'd make trouble. He wouldn't even try to make things easier, not even for Daryl.

"It'll stir things up." Rick said.

"Look," Daryl said. "The Governor is probably on the way to the prison right now. Merle knows how he thinks and we could use the muscle."

"I'm not having him at the prison." Maggie said.

"He had a gun to our heads." Andrea pointed out.

"Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol or Beth?" Glenn said.

Daryl frowned.

"He ain't a rapist."

"Well, his buddy is."

Maggie stared at Glenn with wide eyes but no one said anything.

"They ain't buddies no more." Daryl argued. "Not after last night."

"There's no way Merle's gonna live there without putting everybody at each others' throats." Rick said, giving Daryl a sad look. "I know you don't want to hear it. Giving up you brother? I don't…" Rick trailed off and sighed. "I couldn't do that. But I really don't see another option."

Daryl looked to Ava, who bit her lip.

"Daryl…" She said, trying to think of the best way to phrase this. "Sometimes your brother isn't a complete ass. But the only redeeming feature I can think of right now is that he offered to convince the Governor to let me have my babies before he killed me. Quite frankly, that's not enough to make me want to risk it."

Daryl swallowed, clearly hurt by her words but as much as it pained her to upset Daryl, she couldn't risk the lives of her children anymore.

"So you're gonna cut Merle loose but bring the last samurai home with us?"

"Michonne saved our lives." Andrea said, Michonne glaring at Daryl. "She kept me and Ava safe for seven months. Merle managed to almost kill us in a few days."

"And she led us to Woodbury. If she hadn't, Merle would have killed them." Rick finished.

"Michonne is family now." Ava said. "Just like you are."

"Merle's blood." Daryl said.

"No," Glenn argued. "Merle is your blood. Like Ava said, my blood, my family is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison."

"You're part of that family, Daryl." Rick continued. "You always will be. But he's not. He's just…he's just not."

They stood in silence, Daryl looking at each of them. A groan caught Ava's attention and she looked into the trees to see Merle swaying by a tree. She smirked, amused by the disorientated her punch had made him.

"Man, y'all don't know." Daryl said, getting that defensive way he did when they first reached Atlanta camp and told him Merle was on the roof. "Fine. We'll fend for ourselves."

"Daryl-" Ava started.

"That's not what I was saying." Glenn said.

"No him, no me."

"Daryl, you don't have to do that." Maggie said.

"Yeah," Andrea added. "Especially not for him. You think he'll appreciate what you've given up for him?"

"Don't matter." He said, trying to sound like he was fine with leaving the group. "It was always Merle and I before this."

"Please Daryl." Ava said. "Don't."

"You serious?" Glenn said. "You're just gonna leave like that?"

"You'd do the same thing."

"What do you want us to tell Carol?"

Daryl looked at Glenn and shrugged.

"She'll understand."

Ava swallowed. On the way back to the car, Rick had told them that Carol was still alive, a fact Ava was grateful for. She would get to see her again, but she would miss T-Dog.

They all stared at Daryl as he shared a final look with each of them.

"Say goodbye to your pop for me." He said to Maggie as he pushed past them all.

"Daryl, are you serious?" Glenn said.

"Daryl!" Rick yelled jogging to catch up with him. "Hey. There's gotta be another way."

"Don't ask me to leave him." Daryl said. "I already did that once."

"We started something last night. You realise that, huh?"

Daryl stopped by the car and reached into the boot. Merle looked up at the two.

"No him, no me. That's all I can say."

Rick looked at Daryl, breathing hard. He glanced up at Merle, then down to his side as Ava joined them. She saw the hopelessness in his eyes and took his hand, fighting back tears herself. She'd only just found them again and she was losing Daryl already.

"Take care of yourself." Daryl said, looking between him and Ava. "Take care of those babies. Carl. He's one tough kid."

Daryl looked at Ava and Rick one last time, swinging his supplies onto his back and heading into the forest after Merle. Rick watched, unsure of what to do, and squeezed Ava's hand.

"Daryl!" Glenn yelled, seeing him disappear. Merle was infuriatingly smug as he wrapped an arm around Daryls' shoulders and the two disappeared into the trees. Ava turned and wrapped her arms around Rick, holding back tears as he held her.


	111. The suicide king: Part 3

S3E9P3

They prepared the car, getting their supplies and guns stored in the boot. Ava took her spear off and put it in, feeling an ache as she realised her dagger was still at Woodbury somewhere. Probably back in that display cabinet.

"Hey." Rick said, coming over to her as they packed the boot.

"Hey." She said, smiling gently. His hand sat on her bump as he looked into her eyes. Tears began to burn in them, making his blue eyes glisten.

"I really thought I'd lost you." He said, tears falling down his cheeks. Ava wiped them away.

"So did I." She sniffed. "Every night I prayed to whoever's listening, begging that I'd find you before I had the babies. I wanted you to be there."

"Now I will be. Always." He said, caressing her belly. His hands moved up and cupped her face as he kissed her. Ava ran her fingers through his hair, circling an arm around the back of his neck and holding him to her as they kissed with desperation and love. She never wanted to leave the cocoon of his arms, but the sound of the boot slamming shut reminded them for where they were.

"Later." Rick said, pressing chaste kiss to her lips as they piled into the car – a tight fit with Maggie, Glenn, Michonne and Andrea as well. Maggie had to sit on Glenns' lap in the front while the three women who'd survived seven months together sat cramped in the back. Rick glanced at Ava in the rear-view mirror – making sure she was still there?– and started the engine, finally taking her home.

They had to stop a while down the line, a downed tree and a truck blocking the road. Ava got out to stretch her legs, as did Andrea, Maggie and Glenn. Michonne stayed in the car.

"Get the brakes." Rick said to Glenn, who opened the car door. A walker fell out, almost on top of him, and all four of them raised their guns.

"I got it." Glenn said, stomping on the walkers head, over and over again until it was nothing but mulch. Glenn panted heavily, rage simmering through every pour of his being. Ava stood by Maggies' side as Rick went over to him.

"You didn't kill him." Glenn said.

Rick frowned.

"That's not why we went back."

"No. That's right. You went back for Daryl and now he's gone again and the Governor is still alive."

"We didn't have the manpower or the plan to go about killing him, Glenn." Ava said, folding her arms. "He'd have won."

"Ava's right." Andrea added. "The Governor's smart. All those people trust him and he'd throw them at us to protect himself."

"I should have been there with you." Glenn said.

"You were in no condition." Rick argued.

"But my girlfriend was?"

Maggie stepped forward, frowning at him.

"Glenn, this isn't about us."

Glenn looked to the sky, rubbing his face.

"I should have been there!" He yelled.

"Hey, hey." Rick said, his voice rising. "You didn't come back with us cause you could barely walk."

"You think I didn't want to be there too?" Ava said. "Being an invalid sucks. Welcome to the club, Glenn."

"What about her?" Glenn said, looking at Maggie.

"What about me?"

"Do you know what he did to her?!" Glenn yelled, near-screaming by that point.

"Leave it alone!" Maggie screamed. "Let's go."

Rick looked at the two, Maggie avoiding everyone's eyes, Glenn looking out to the forest, seething.

"After all that effort, all the risk we took, Daryl just takes off with Merle?" Glenn said.

"Well, he had his reasons." Rick said.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Rick. Doesn't change the fact that we're up to our necks in shit."

"Hey!" Ava snapped, folding her arms over her bump. "I get that you're angry Glenn, and believe me, no one wants the Governor dead more than me. But yelling at each other isn't going to help. Get your shit together. It's been tough on all of us, you know."

Glenn looked at Ava, his expression still marred with anger.

"You want me to turn the car around?" Rick added. "Throw down the welcome mat for Merle? This is the hand we've been dealt!"

Glenn swallowed, staring hard at Rick.

"Let's just get this thing out of the way." Andrea said. "Once we get back we can shout at each other some more. Or talk, like adults."

"No, you guys do all the talking you want." Glenn said, shaking his head. "I'm done."

Rick shared a look with Ava as he went to the back of the truck with Maggie and Andrea. She returned to the truck and looked at Glenn in the mirror. He ignored her. She shook her head and sighed.


	112. The suicide king: Part 4

S3E9P4

The car bounced along as they came upon the prison and Ava's heart leapt to her throat. She leaned forward and saw Carol and Carl at the gate. A smile split her face. They raced to open the gates and Rick stopped the car, getting out and running to Carl. Ava got out as well, smiling at Rick as he held his son.

"Ava?" Carol said. She put a hand over her mouth, holding back tears as she raced forward and hugged her tight. Ava sighed, content, as she held Carol. The smile wouldn't leave her face.

"Drive them up. We'll meet you up there." Rick said to Maggie as he passed the car. Ava and Carol stood back, Carol beaming at her stomach and touching her cheeks. Then Ava turned to Carl and grinned.

"Hey, kid."

Carl laughed and ran at her, getting his arms around her as best he could. She had to bend over so that the stomach wasn't in the way. Ava rubbed his back as tears fell down her cheeks, her heart glowing with joy. Rick was watching them with a tender smile on his face.

When they let go Carl was at head height with the belly, so he could hardly not see it.

"Wow." He said. "You're huge."

Ava laughed, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Kid, you have no idea."

"Where's Daryl?" Carol said, looking panicked as the car drove off.

"It's alright. He's alive." Rick said, moving to her side as relief flooded her face. "We ran into his brother. They went off."

Carol blinked, shocked.

"He left? Daryl left? He's gone?" Carol struggled to hold back tears, and the four of them headed through the second gate, taking a moment to lock it before walking up to the prison. Rick hugged Carol and Ava put an arm around Carl.

"So," She said. "You going to give me the tour?"

"Sure." Carl said.

"Alright." Rick chuckled, rubbing Ava's back. "You can do that once we've all got some rest. It's been a busy few days for us all."

Ava nodded and soon they reached the main courtyard. Hershel and Beth were with Maggie, the older man looking at her bruises.

"Take your sister inside." He said as they arrived, giving her a hug. Beth moved past them both, beaming, and gave Ava a hug.

"It's good to see you alive." She said.

"You too."

Beth took Maggie's hand and the two of them went back into the prison, followed by Carol and Carl. Ava got another hug from Hershel, who stood back and looked her up and down with fatherly eyes.

"Seeing you alive?" he said, shaking his head. "It's more than a miracle."

"Thanks, Hershel. I've missed all of you so much."

"Andrea said as much." He said with a fond smile. He turned to Rick, a hand resting on Ava's shoulder.

"You came through, like always." He said, his expression knowing. Rick nodded. "Sounds like we have a new problem on our hands."

"Yeah." Rick said.

"You get a good look at him?"

Rick shook his head.

"He had Daryl and Merle pitted against each other. A crowd cheering for them to fight to the death. What kind of sick mind does that?"

"The kind this world creates." Hershel said, looking defeated. Rick, sensing something was wrong, frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"We've got visitors."

Rick frowned, looking at Ava, and the three headed into the prison. As soon as they were in they could see the newcomers. A black man and woman, a man who looked a bit like Rick and a boy. Rick gave them a long hard look, eyeing each of them up. Ava smiled, then looked at the prison itself.

"Nice place." She said, drawing Ricks' attention back to her. "Do we get different shades of grey or is it all prison issue?"

Rick chuckled, shaking his head. He and Ava turned to the newcomers.

"Hi." One of them said, a larger man with a kind face. "I'm Tyreese."

He held his hand out and Rick looked at him suspiciously, then down at Ava. Then he took the hand.

"Rick." He said. "I get that you've been here a while and I hear you want to stay, but you're gonna have to wait for now."

"We've been waiting all day." The lady said.

"Sasha." Tyreese said warningly.

"No, it's alright." Rick said. "But our group's in need of a reunion. And we need some rest. I'll get you sorted out with blankets, you can sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we'll deal with things."

Tyreese nodded, though the other man didn't look impressed.

"We can give you that." He said, looking between Rick and Ava, who smiled again.

"Thank you." She said, taking Ricks' hand as they went into the main cell block. Hershel followed and Carl locked the door behind them.


	113. The suicide king: Part 5

S3E9P5

In the cell block, the group was fully reunited and Ava found herself happy and safe for the first time in a long time. Glenn was in a cell being tended to by Hershel, and there was a brief mingling of old friends which quickly dissipated as everyone went to do their own thing.

Ava saw Lori hugging Andrea, the woman avoiding her gaze, and though Ava stiffened at the sight of her, a lot had changed. She went over to Lori and stood by her side, the two of them looking out across the cell block at the others.

"Long time." Ava said eventually. Lori chuckled.

"Very long." Silence, then. "God, I feel so stupid."

Ava turned to her and frowned.

"Why?"

"You know why." Lori said, finally meeting her gaze. "I did some pretty stupid things. I was selfish and petty and a…a horrible mother and wife. I was cruel to you but you'd done nothing to deserve that."

Lori turned to her, hesitating as her gaze fell on her belly, then taking her hand.

"I know sorry isn't enough, but I am sorry. Rick and I have worked things out. I don't want to get between what you have, I really don't."

Ava was shocked, but pleasantly so. She blinked and squeezed Lori's hand.

"I appreciate that." She said, the two women smiling at one another. Lori dropped her hand and they stood again in awkward silence. Ava smiled.

"I could use a hand." She said. Lori chuckled.

"So could I."

"Oh, no." Ava said, biting her lip as Lori laughed at her. "Sorry, but what I meant was… Well, I don't know if Rick said but…I'm having twins. I'll have my hands full with two babies. I know Carol will be there but it'd make me feel better to know you'll help too."

Lori looked at her in disbelief but nodded.

"Of course."

"You're having twins?" Carl said, looking excited from where he'd been eavesdropping. Ava cocked a brow at him as he emerged from where he'd been hiding.

"Yep." She said. "Two babies."

"You'll be a big brother to two siblings." Lori said. Carl grinned, looking up as Rick came down the steps and saw the three of them. Ava smiled at him and he looked relieved, clearly worried about what would have happened between the two of them.

To say the prison was heaven to Ava was an understatement. She had Rick, Carl and all her family, as well as Lori, who seemed genuinely sorry. It seemed things were really shaping up.

Ricks' attention shifted to Carol and the other prisoner, a man called Axel. He was grieving for Oscar, the man Ava knew had helped save her back at Woodbury. She moved over to them. They all did.

"Whenever Tomas went off, Oscar always stood up for me, you know? He was my friend."

"He saved my life." Ava said. "And my babies."

"I'll be eternally grateful to him." Rick said, slipping an arm around her waist.

"So what now?" Beth asked Rick. "You think the Governor will retaliate?"

"Yes." Andrea said, coming out of the cell where Michonne was resting.

"Let him try." Glenn said.

"It sounds like he's got a whole town." Carol said. "We're outnumbered and outgunned."

"We could use some reinforcements." Hershel said, looking pointedly at where the newcomers were. Rick nodded.

"So much for a nights' rest." He sighed. Ava smiled and they all moved towards their end of the prison, unlocking the gate and filing in. Rick moved to the front with Ava not far behind. Everyone else watched them with mingling degrees of kindness and apprehension.

"Tyreese." Rick said. The man nodded, clearly the leader of their small group.

"This is Sasha. That's Allen and Ben." He said, gesturing to the rest of the group. Rick nodded.

"How'd you get in?"

"Fire damage to the administrative part of the prison. Wall's down."

"That side's completely overrun with walkers. How'd you get this far?"

"We didn't." Tyreese said. "We lost our friend Donna."

"They were lost in the tombs." Carl said. Rick nodded, rubbing his face as he regarded each of them.

"Look, I'm sorry about your friend. We know what that's like-"

"Hershel said you could use some extra hands." Tyreese added, quickly sensing where this was going. Rick held up his hand.

"That's not the issue here." He said, sharing a look with Ava. "Look, I've gotta be completely honest with you. Our home is threatened. There's another man, another group, who will be coming for us."

"Why?" Sasha said.

"Because we attacked them, broke in to get our people back, people they'd kidnapped. Their leader won't give up easy and he knows where we are. It could be more dangerous staying here than leaving."

Tyreese shared a look with his sister.

"We appreciate your honesty." Tyreese said, taking a step closer to Rick. "But this is a good place. We've been out on the road pretty much from the start. All we want is a place to be safe."

"You might not be safe here-"

"This place is worth fighting for." He cut across Rick, holding his gaze with respect. "You got a problem with another group, we'll help with that. Anything to contribute. We're good people. Just give us a chance."

Rich sighed and looked back at the rest of his group, gauging an opinion from the looks on their faces. Then he looked to Ava, who nodded. He nodded back.

"Okay." Rick said. "We'll give you a shot. For now though, you'll make camp in here."

"Are you kidding me?" The other man said.

"Allen." Sasha said, shaking her head at the man.

"It's just a precaution." Rick said. "And only for the night. We'll start getting to know one another in the day. When I trust you, you'll be a part of this group."

Tyreese nodded, holding out his hand. Rick shook it.

"I appreciate this. More than you can know."

Rick took his gratitude with grace and gestured to Ava.

"This is Ava." She nodded, smiling at them. "Andrea, Glenn, Maggie. The rest you already know."

They all nodded at the newcomers, and the newcomers nodded at them. Ava looked around at her family, new friends she had yet to know but was sure would one day be just as close, and smiled.


	114. The suicide king: Part 6

S3E9P6

The day passed in no time after that. They ate. They talked about the months they'd been apart. They talked with the newcomers about their past and who they were. Ava already liked Tyreese and Sasha. The boy Ben was nice but sad – understandable since he'd lost his mother. Allen seemed off, but again, understandable.

Ava told the others that she was carrying twins and Carl asked to feel her stomach. Of course, she'd obliged and he had felt her stomach, even putting his ear to it. He'd giggled, saying he could hear them moving. Ava hadn't had the heart to tell him it was probably her.

She'd shared a look with Rick after that and excused herself for some fresh air, heading out into the courtyard and looking up at the night sky. Rick didn't waste much time before joining her.

"It's funny." She said, folding her arms over her bump. "It's a bit of a cliché to say look up at the stars and know wherever I am, I'm looking at the same ones. But it really helped."

Rick chuckled.

"Not sure I did much star-gazing while you were gone."

Ava looked at him and saw the pain on his face. She took his hand and he turned to her.

"You thought I was dead Rick. I knew you were alive."

He frowned.

"How? The last time we saw each other I was headed off with Shane and you knew, you just knew he was going to kill me."

Ava looked away, biting her lip.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just had faith Rick, that's all."

He frowned, watching her as she stared across the field and down to the walkers by the gates.

"No you didn't. What aren't you telling me?" Ava sighed. "You can trust me, you know."

"Of course I know that." Ava said, giving him an annoyed frown before giving in. She turned to him and put her hands on his chest. "We saw you drive away from the farm."

Rick blinked, frowning. Then he closed his eyes and turned away from her.

"You were right there."

"Rick, it wasn't your fault-"

"If I'd waited a moment longer you would have been with us, you wouldn't have been alone-"

"Hey!" Ava took his face in her hands, seeing tears of guilt glistening in his eyes. Her heart swelled with love for him and she wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment as he put his hands on her waist. "It is not your fault. And I wasn't alone. I had Andrea and then we met Michonne. Without what happened, we never would have met her, so in a way I'm glad we were separated. Might have preferred it not to take so long but still."

Rick smiled, nodding as he took in her words. He lifted a hand and traced her black eye with a delicate touch.

"Who did this to you?" He murmured.

"The Governor. It's not that bad, though. Doesn't hurt anymore."

"Anymore." Rick repeated, eyes flashing with anger. Ava smirked and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"My valiant hero." She said, grinning playfully. "You rescued the damsel in distress."

Rick grinned back, still cradling her face in one hand. He rubbed circles into her side with the other.

"Damsel in distress, huh? I don't think there's any situation where I can call you that. Maybe reluctantly fragile warrior in distress."

Ava laughed, throwing her head back as she did. It was a delicious sound she didn't know she could still make.

"Yeah," She giggled. "I like that. Though this warrior seems to have a habit of misplacing her weapons."

"You've still got you're spear."

"Thanks to Michonne. I might have to put my dagger on a bungee when I get it back so it can't keep getting away from me."

Rick chuckled and leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers in a light kiss. It didn't end quickly, the two moving as one, bodies alive with electricity and a delectably warm and gooey feeling. Ava was alive in his arms, Rick alive in hers. Things had never been this good.

When the kiss stopped, Ava kept her forehead pressed to his and enjoyed the feeling of him touching her. His arms around her waist, in her hair and on her neck. His stomach pressed to hers, his breath on her face. If she wasn't hot before, she was after that.

"Come with me." Rick said, taking her hand and leading her towards the Guard tower. They climbed the stairs and went out of the compartment and onto the balcony-type area. The wind was colder and Ava shivered. Rick put his jacket over her shoulders and wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close to him as they looked out across the black trees and the deep indigo night. The moon was a sliver in the sky, stars twinkling above.

"It won't be long, you know."

"Long?" Rick said, looking down at her. She rubbed her belly.

"Twins usually come early and I'm pretty sure I'm almost nine months. I've also been having some contractions over the past week – don't worry, they weren't real ones."

"Braxton Hicks." He said, nodding, hooded eyes drifting between her stomach and her. "You thought about names?"

She bit her lip, grinning as she looked up at him.

"A few. Certainly didn't have any picked though. I want to hear suggestions from you before I decide. Maybe even Carl. I was wondering if we should let him choose a name."

Rick raised a brow at her.

"You sure you want to give him that power?"

Ava chuckled.

"Well we can ask for suggestions. If he says one we like then we're set."

Ava stopped, looking out at nothing as her attention drifted.

"What is it?" Rick said, urgency entering his voice. Ava laughed and took his hand, pressing it to the top of her bump. He understood and immediately his attention was on the belly. One of the babies kicked again and he gasped, smiling wistfully as his eyes shined.

"Hey, the other one's kicking too." She said, pressing his other hand to the other side. He laughed.

"Feels like they're beating you up."

Ava rolled her eyes.

"If one starts kicking, they always wake the other and then it's a competition to see who can kick the longest."

Rick laughed again, kneeling down in front of her and pressing a kiss to her stomach. Again, Ava's heart felt swollen with joy, so much so that she worried it might burst. Rick took her hands and pulled her to her knees before him, holding her gaze with hooded eyes before leaning over to capture her in a hungry kiss.

She groaned at the desire behind it, deepening the kiss, allowing their tongues to dance across one another.

She'd loved Rick for almost a year, their intimate connection more than physical. It was like their souls were one, always together. It sounded sappy, but Ava felt it was true. Seven months apart and all she'd thought of was him. The love had never weakened. If anything, it had grown stronger, a yearning she could not satisfy.

Now they were together, alone, and there was no guilt tainting their love. Ava felt his hands run up and down her back, hungry, desperate to have her like she was desperate to have him. She pulled away only to remove her shirt and Ricks' hands found the bare flesh of her stomach. Ava moaned, pulling him back into a deep kiss as he removed his own shirt. Her hands explored his chest, his stomach, then up his back as he lay her down. The last time they'd lain together, they'd been too drunk to appreciate each moment, to cherish the touch. They would not make that mistake again.


	115. Home: Part 1

S3E10P1

Ava woke in Ricks' arms. She smiled, remembering the night they'd spent together, but couldn't keep the shiver from creeping over her skin. Rick chuckled and tightened his grip.

"Surprised the cold didn't wake us last night." He mumbled into her ear, kissing the delicate flesh of her neck. She giggled.

"I for one was very worn out."

"Oh, really?" he said, shifting onto one elbow and giving her a suggestive look. Ava arched her brows.

"Of course I was." She said, shifting so she could pull his jacket further over her bare arms. "I'd been imprisoned, attacked and I'm heavily pregnant. I didn't exactly sleep well in that cell."

Rick pursed his lips, gently touching her black eye with his own losing that sleepy glow they'd had moments before. She almost regretted teasing him.

"And, you know, there was the sex."

That worked. Rick chuckled again, his chest shaking against her back. He tilted her head and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

"I'd be happy to wear you out any time you like. Just say the word."

"Will do, Sheriff." She said, winking, but the day couldn't stay like that. She sighed as she struggled to sit, helped by Rick. They were still on the balcony of the guard tower, hence the cold. A young sun was peeking over the cement railings. "We should probably get back to the others. They'll be waking soon."

Rick sighed, stretching out across the ground – something Ava watched with a coy eye – before he sat and started dressing. Once they were back in their clothes, Rick helped Ava stand and took her hand, the two of them walking down into the courtyard and back into the prison.

They passed the newcomers as they did. Only Tyreese was awake, seemingly on watch, and he smiled as they passed.

"Have you had any sleep?" Ava asked him, pausing as Rick unlocked the interior gate.

"Sasha claimed first watch."

"You know you're safe here, right?" Rick said, the gate clanging aside. Tyreese smiled ruefully.

"I could say the same to you, that we're safe to be around. You'd still keep us here for safety." He shrugged. "You seem like good people, but I gotta protect my own. Until we trust one another."

Rick nodded, offering him a smile before taking Ava's hand again, the two heading back into the cell block.

It seemed a few people were awake. They could hear voices chittering from closed cells, people getting ready for the day. Carl was the only one out of his cell and he looked up as they approached.

"Where were you?"

"We slept in the guard tower." Rick said. Carl frowned, closing the comic he was thumbing through.

"Why?"

"Because I like the views, kid." Ava said, ruffling his hair. The hat was beside him on the table and she picked it up, smiling fondly at it. Rick watched her. "Still keeping a hold of this old thing, then?"

"Never getting rid of it." Carl said as she plopped it back on his head.

"Good." Ava said. "We've got to hold on to what matters."

A while later, after breakfast and a wash and the rest of the group had woken, people gathered in the newcomers area as Glenn drew out a map of the tunnels.

"Right." He said, the chalk scraping in a final line. "You said you guys came through here?"

"Yeah." Tyreese said, studying the map. Allen and his boy stayed at their table, still mulling over breakfast, but Sasha stood beside them. She kept glancing at Ava, looking away whenever she noticed. She supposed it had been a long time since they'd seen a pregnant woman.

"But we secured this." Glenn said. Tyreese shrugged.

"Means there's another breach." Rick said, rubbing his hands as he came back into the prison. He'd gone out not long after they'd returned to put shielding up along the walkways.

"The whole front of the prison is unsecure. If walkers just strolled in, then it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men." Glenn said.

"Why are we even so sure he's going to attack?" Beth said. "Maybe you scared him off."

"Not this guy." Andrea said.

"He had fish tanks full of heads." Michonne added. "Walkers and humans. Trophies. He's coming."

"We should hit him now." Glenn said. Rick moved over to Ava and took her hand. Carl was stood beside Lori, her remaining hand on his shoulder. "He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head."

"We're not assassins." Carol said, frowning.

"And we're not cold-blooded killers." Lori added. "When we've killed in the past, it's been necessary – self defence."

"This is self defence." Andrea said.

"You know where his apartment is." Glenn continued, standing and turning to Michonne. "You and I could end this tonight. I'll do it myself."

Michonne looked from Glenn to Ava and Andrea, like she wanted to agree but didn't know if she should. Ava shook her head.

"He didn't know you were coming last time and look what happened." Hershel said, stepping forward. "You were almost killed. Daryl was captured. And you, Maggie, Ava and Andrea were almost executed."

"You can't stop me." Glenn retorted.

"But I can." Rick said, stepping forward. Glenn stared at Rick and Rick stared back, taking the weight of his anger. "You're angry. You want to kill this guy. I get it. He was gonna kill my friends, the woman I love and my children. That is reason enough for me to want to put a bullet in his skull."

He looked around at the group, strangers and old friends, all one today.

"But we can't act without thinking."

"I have thought." Glenn argued. "I've been doing nothing but thinking all night!"

"What Rick means," Ava said, folding her arms. "Is that we have to have a more concrete plan than waltzing in and shooting him in the head. Did you have a plan for how you'd get out again? We barely got out the last time. Oscar didn't."

Axel looked down at the mention of his friend and Carol squeezed his arm.

"Ava's right." Rick said. "Woodbury is secure. It had walls, manpower and heavy artillery. We're out-gunned, out-numbered and, if we go to Woodbury, we're playing on their turf. They have the advantage."

"So you want us to just wait for him to attack us?" Glenn argued.

"He has a point." Maggie said, staring hard at Glenn. "This place could be our weapon against the Governor."

"He said this place was overrun." Andrea continued. "That it hadn't been a viable option. He doesn't know anything about the prison."

Rick nodded.

"We let him come to us, we have the home advantage."

Glenn shook his head, running a hand through his hair. Rick walked over to him.

"You need to get a grip."

Glenn snorted.

"That's rich coming from you."

Rick tensed, swallowing hard.

"I lost it when I thought Ava and my babies were dead. Maggie's alive. We're all alive here. I want to keep it that way. I need you to sort out whatever it is that's eating you. Talk to Maggie, talk to Hershel, talk to whoever you need to. If we're gonna get through this, I need you to be on the same page. You got it?"

Glenn swallowed, jaw tense as he looked up at Rick. He nodded.

"Yeah, I got it."

Rick nodded.

"Good. Now, we're gonna have to have a look at that breach, figure out what's going on over there. I can go, but I'll need a hand."

"I'll cover you." Glenn said. Rick stared at him and Glenn nodded. "I'll be fine."

"I'm happy to back you up." Tyreese said after sharing a look with Sasha. Rick thanked him.

"Alright. Let's suit up."


	116. Home: Part 2

S3E10P2

Later, Rick, Glenn and Tyreese returned in their riot gear. Rick began unstrapping the vest as Carol locked the gate behind them.

"What happened?" Lori asked.

"The tombs outside the boiler room are overrun again." Glenn said.

"That whole section had been cleared." Beth said, shocked.

"It's a steady stream of walkers." Rick added, clear of the armour. He smiled at Ava, who was fidgeting beside Hershel. He felt bad for her, knowing she wished to help, but at the same time he was grateful she had her own excuse not to throw herself into danger. After losing her for so long… he didn't know if he could ever let her go again.

"We're wasting time." Hershel said. "The Governor is supposedly on the way and we're stuck in here with walkers."

"Trapped between a rock and a hard place." Carol said.

"What's this?" Rick said, looking at Hershel.

"I thought to bring up the possibility of leaving, especially after everything the Governor did. Why are we still here, Rick?"

Rick frowned.

"Because this is our home."

"We can find another one. We've survived on the road for long enough, we can do it again."

"No we can't." Ava said. "I'm sorry Hershel, but I've spent the last seven months terrified of having to look after a baby on the road. Now I'm having two. I am not throwing away a safe place just to give birth in a ditch."

"Running is not an option." Glenn said.

"If the tombs have filled up again, it may just be a matter of time before they push in here." Carol said.

"Or until some fence gives way." Beth added.

"You'd give up on this place so easily?" Andrea said, frowning at them.

"Andrea's right." Lori said. "We fought for this place. T-Dog died trying to keep this place safe. This is our home, we can't just run."

"We might die here." Hershel said.

"What's the alternative?" Rick said, looking around at them. "Starving on the road, our babies freezing to death? We run and that's…that's just surviving. That's not living. People used to think surviving in the wild was difficult but no, it's finding a way to live that's hard."

"Rick's right." Sasha said, surprising them as the first of the newcomers to speak up in a group debate. "We've been out there since the very beginning. Being in here, not having to worry about the dead creeping up on us, it's been really weird. We're not used to just living anymore. And I for one don't want to give it up."

Tyreese smiled at his sister.

"I've said it before. We'll fight for this place, the chance to have safety."

Rick nodded at them.

"It's decided then." Rick said, looking around at them. "We stay. We fight." He turned to Ava. "We live."

She smiled warmly at him.

"Now," he said, turning to Tyreese. "We need to scout the far side of the prison, see what's going on there. If there's a large breach it should be easy enough to spot. Once we know it, we can work on blocking it."

"You're going out there?" Hershel said.

"We'll take a car and make it quick."

"I'll drive." Glenn said.

"No," Rick said. "You stay here. Help with the fortifications. And talk to Maggie."

Glenn pursed his lips but nodded. Ava stood and kissed Rick as they moved to head out, Andrea heading over to them.

"I'll come with you guys. I need to do something useful."

Rick squeezed her shoulder in thanks and they left.

Ava was in the field when Rick returned. He spotted her and switched places with Andrea, letting them drive the car back up while he walked through the grass to join her.

"What're you doing out here?" he asked when he reached her. She smiled.

"Enjoying the fact that I can stand in an open field and not be worried about Walkers. It's a nice day."

"It is." He said, rubbing the small of her back.

"Did you find the breach?" She asked, turning to look at him.

Before he could answer, a shot rang out and they both jumped, turning to see a truck near the fence. Ava gasped when she saw the man who'd shot.

"It's him." She breathed, seconds before Rick took Ava down into the grass as bullets erupted from all over. Rick swung his gun from his back and shot at the others. Ava pulled her gun free and clicked off the safety. She lay flat on the ground, unsure of what to do. There was no cover to hide behind.

Then she saw Michonne and Tyreese behind the upturned bus. Shelter. It was only about five metres away. Could she run that in time?

Rick paused his shooting.

"We have to get to cover now!" He yelled before shooting again.

"The bus!" She said, getting into a crouch, prepared to run. He nodded to her, catching Tyreese's eye. He and Michonne fired cover and Rick and Ava raced from their place in the grass and, firing at the men, and ducked behind the school bus.

"You guys alright?" Tyreese said.

The shooting ended, leaving everything unnervingly quiet. Gunshots echoed through Ava's head and she struggled to breathe, taking deep breaths as her body shook. Rick cradled her face in one hand, silently asking if she was alright. She nodded and Michonne touched her shoulder, her own gun ready to fire.

Then they frowned, hearing an engine through the silence. A truck was haring towards them, towards the gates, with no sign of stopping. Rick grabbed Ava and they rolled to the other side of the bus just as the truck ripped the gates from their hinges, almost hitting them.

It growled into the field before sidling to a halt. Ava's face drained of blood as a sharp pain shot through her stomach, back and legs. She sagged against the side of the bus, cradling her stomach as she winced. Rick didn't see, his and all other eyes trained on the truck.

Its back fell down into a ramp and out poured the walkers. Rick growled in anger and went to shoot at the driver, but he was out of bullets.

"Shit!"

The driver shot at them, Michonne pushing Ava aside so she wouldn't get hit. To Ava, everything was a blur. The pain ripping through her made sure of that. It was so bad that her knees buckled and she bent over herself, groaning. Rick turned at the sound and stared at her, wide eyed, as blood gushed down her legs.


	117. Home: Part 3

S3E10P3

The Governors men started shooting again and Ava took the opportunity to fall to the floor, landing on her knees and bowing over herself as the pain grew stronger and stronger. She felt Rick by her side, his hands on her back as she cried out in pain. It felt like her pelvis was being ripped from the base of her spine.

"Hershel!" Rick yelled. Gunfire was still echoing but Ava couldn't tell who was firing. She felt more hands on her, lifting her, and turned to see Tyreese on one side, Rick on the other. She tried to move her legs but couldn't, crying out again as another wave of pain washed over her.

They stumbled, Ava landing on her knees as Tyreese fell to the side. He groaned and blood pooled around his shoulder, but Michonne helped him up. Someone else replaced him at her side as Rick struggled to get her up. She moaned at the weight of her own limp legs on her pelvis, crying out again as pain lanced through her. Someone had warmed a scalpel till it glowed and was slashing viciously at her privates.

"Come on, Crazy. Don't give up on me now."

Daryl. He was supporting her on the other side. Or was she hallucinating? He was gone wasn't he?

"You're gone." She managed to say, the words a pitiful wail.

"Not anymore. I came back."

"Keep moving! Come on, what's the hold up? Move, move, move you pussies!"

Merle, of course. Ava gritted her teeth.

"You call us pussies one more time I'm gonna rip your balls off!" Ava growled, the end of the sentence morphing into a scream.

By the time they got back to the courtyard, Ava saw faces swimming before her, blended by the pain. Carl was crying. There were bodies in the courtyard.

They led her inside and Sasha and Carol were rushing about, covered in blood themselves. They startled when the saw Ava and rushed them into a cell, grabbing towels and medical supplies.

Ava stared at the bunk above her, writhing, panting, struggling to understand what was happening, what she should do. Should she be pushing yet? Then Hershel was above her, telling her it would be okay. Rick was beside her, saying the same. The desire to give up entered her head, but she didn't. She had to embrace the pain, stay strong and survive. For her children.

That night was the most hectic night the group had ever had, more so than the fleeing from the farm, especially for Hershel. He had to turn his attention between Ava as she went through labour, and Lori, who'd been shot in the stomach. Rick was always at her side and Sasha and Carol helped out where they could.

She didn't know how long it took. All she knew was that after the initial flood of pain, there came contractions. She'd had practice with those and if anything, they hurt less than the initial pain.

She breathed and she pushed and she pushed and she breathed. She smacked a hand at anyone who told her to do those things with a 'just' before them as if it were that easy. _Just breathe, just push – you try it!_

The girl came first.

After much screaming, she came into the world with a keening wail that pierced through Ava's own. Hershel assessed her quickly, then put her on Ava's chest. She was a tiny thing. Ava's first thought was how could something so small have made her so huge?

The tiny, squealing body writhed on her chest, sticky as Ava wrapped her arms around her. Her daughter. Their daughter. Rick cupped the newborns' head in his hand, seemingly unaware of the tears streaming down his face. Carol wiped away the fluids while she lay on Ava, then picked her up so Hershel could tend to the cord. There was no asking the dad to do it. Given the circumstances, there were bigger things to worry about.

Rick took their daughter as the contractions started again. This time was easier. When she could open her eyes past the pain, she saw Rick looking down at her, awed, overjoyed. And she saw the infant who had settled into a quiet grumble against her fathers' chest.

The boy came eight minutes later.

He was no bigger or smaller than his sister and again, Ava wondered how they'd made her so large. He too was put on her chest, his shocked cries fading into grunts and groans as she held him close, his face pressed to her chest. Carol again cleaned him off and took him so Hershel could deal with the umbilical cord.

Ava, propped on perhaps all the cushions in the cell block, took her son in her arms and stared down at his perfect face.

Hershel disappeared to see to Lori again, Sasha helping him move while Carol took to prodding Ava's stomach. She remembered this too, from Hailey's birth. She'd been there when Riley was born and had cried with equal parts joy and envy to see her sisters' child brought into the world.

That feeling felt so far away now, as she looked on her twins. Rick sat on the edge of the bed, leaning beside her.

"You did it." He said, awed. "They're beautiful."

"Did you doubt it?" Ava said, the words slurred by exhaustion. Rick laughed.

"Never."

The twins fussed and moaned, unsure what to do in this new world. Ava grinned at them.

"Don't worry, darlings." She said, looking between the boy and the girl. "The world will never make sense, but it'll get easier to deal with. I promise."

They squirmed as if they understood and that wasn't the answer they'd been looking for.

"They're probably hungry." Carol said, smiling down at them.

"They will be." Hershel said as he returned. He sat at the end of the bed again and turned to Ava. "Two more deliveries and it will all be over."

She groaned, but gritted her teeth through the removal of the placenta. The twins had one each. Twice the babies, twice the pain.

Once that was over, Hershel looked her over and decided she would be fine.

"The blood…" Rick said, trailing off.

"Pregnant women have something called a mucus plug in place that seals the uterus. It can be quite alarming when it comes out as a gush of blood, but it's fine, I assure you."

Rick nodded, shifting aside as Carol leaned over and covered Ava up. She then helped her figure out how to feed two babies.

Ava tucked the boy into one arm, head on the crook of her elbow. Carol then took the girl from Rick and set her up in Ava's other arm in the same position as her brother. It was then a bit of a juggle to get them suckling, but once they were latched they guzzled the way one would if they hadn't eaten in nine months.

Rick watched and smiled and Ava looked down on her children, so perfect and tiny. She didn't know anyone could love this much. Even her love for Rick paled in comparison to the adoration she had for them. She studied their faces. The girls' nose turned up a little at the end: a button nose, like hers. The boys' was straighter and Ava saw the making of Ricks' face on him. Both had a fine head of wispy brown hair and while it was difficult to tell whose brown they had, Ava thought she saw Ricks' slightly darker shade in both of them.

"I never thought I'd see something so perfect." She said as they slipped away from feeding and drifted into sleep. Rick helped cover her up.

"They are." Rick said, smiling at her. "And so are you. You did a great job, Mummy."

Ava chuckled and the girl squirmed, frowning.

"Oh, I reckon we'll be getting a lot of scowls from her." Ava said with a teasing grin. Rick nodded.

"At least I have experience with a son. A daughter…" he puffed his cheeks and looked at her as if he were very afraid. Ava suppressed a giggle.

"Speaking of your son, where is he? Is he okay? And Lori?"

Rick sighed, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Carl's with his mother. Hershel's stabilised her but he says there are no guarantees, not for a while anyway."

Ava nodded. That poor boy. He'd almost lost her not so long ago to a bite, and now he may lose her again.

"You should go to him." Ava said, adding: "We'll be okay." When he gave her a look. He stared at her for a moment, then kissed her gently.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you, too." Ava grinned as he stood and left the cell. Ava blinked when she saw Daryl leaning against the doorway.

"You did come back." She said. "I was wondering if I'd hallucinated that."

"Sorry I left."

Ava shook her head, realising for the first time that she was rocking slightly, instinctively.

"Merle's here too, isn't he?"

He nodded.

"You said you'd rip his balls off if he kept calling you pussies."

Ava snorted, vaguely remembering that.

"Well, that's still true. I'd like to see him push two babies from his sex organs." Ava sighed.

Daryl grimaced and Ava chuckled, earning a small cry from her daughter and a grunt from her son. She rolled her eyes and smiled, beginning to hum and sing Hotel California. Daryl didn't move from his place by her door.


	118. I ain't a judas: Part 1

S3E11P1

The twins slept soundly. They'd had a busy day, after all. Carol and Sasha returned not long later with cardboard boxes that had once been filled with cans of beans. They were filled with blankets now and someone had gone through the trouble of drawing blue on one box, pink on another.

"Thank you." Ava said, grinning.

"I already had the one prepared." Carol said, sitting on the bed beside her. "Carl was looking for things for the baby. He was a little upset that there wasn't anything in the prison, but he was happy to make a bed with me."

Ava's eyes stung thinking of Carl doing that. She couldn't wait for him to meet his brother and sister. Carol took the boy from her and lay him in his new bed. He snuffled at first, as if searching for her, then settled.

"Now's the real test of a good bed." Ava said, shifting to the edge of the bed and standing with Carol's help. She felt a little sick, her insides feeling like suction was all that was keeping them inside her, but she ignored the feeling and knelt before the second box.

As she'd expected, the girl made more of a fuss and started like she was going to cry. Ava rubbed her belly and hummed again. She turned her head to the side and quietened.

"Impressive." Ava whispered, accepting Carols' arm as she stood. They then quietly helped her into a pair of pants and jogging bottoms before they left the cell.

Ava swallowed, feeling very much like she was abandoning her children, and she looked back with a tight throat.

"It's okay." Carol said. "We'll hear them if they cry. But you need to eat something."

Ava was indeed very hungry and very tired, but she ignored the exhaustion as the group began to fill the area. Glenn hugged her and Maggie cried. It was clear most of them were excited to see the babies, but let them be while they slept.

Rick joined them last, Carl at his side. The boys' eyes were rimmed with red and Ava's heart broke for him. He raced over to her and sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Ava held him tight against her side and rubbed his arms.

"I thought you were both going to die." He mumbled.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere. And your mum is strong. She'll make it."

He fell silent then and Rick, having watched them with a small smile, turned to the rest of the group.

"We're not leaving." He said.

"We can't stay here." Hershel argued.

"What if there's another sniper?" Maggie added. "A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds."

"We can't even go outside." Beth said.

"Not in the daylight." Carol added. Ava turned to her, looking wearily at the group once again at odds over what to do. She held Carl as the boy went silent.

"We can't leave." Ava said. Every eye that met hers bore a modicum of guilt as if they could see on her face the ordeal she had just been through. They probably could. She hadn't seen herself since the birth.

"If Rick says we're not running, we're not running." Glenn said.

"No," A voice echoed from one of the cells. "Better to live like rats."

Ava turned a saw Merle locked in a cell. He winked at her when she caught his eye and she scowled, turning away.

"You got a better idea?" Rick said, moving to Ava's side.

"Yeah, we should have slid out of here last night and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window didn't we?"

"Ava was in labour and Lori's been shot. Neither of them would've been able to move."

"Didn't say they had to come with us."

"Shut up, Merle." Daryl growled from the walkway. Rick looked ready to kill the redneck, but out his hand on Ava's shoulder and squeezed.

"I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now." Merle said, refraining from insulting anyone for a sentence.

"We ain't scared of that prick." Daryl retorted.

"We should be." Andrea said, folding her arms and leaning against the wall.

"Blondie's right. That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

Ava chewed her lip, looking across to the cell where her babies were sleeping.

"Put him in the other cell block." Maggie said, avoiding looking at him.

"No." Daryl said. "He's got a point."

"This is all you! You started this." Maggie said, glaring at Merle.

"What's the difference whose fault it is?" Beth argued. "What do we do?"

"I said we should leave." Hershel said, sitting on the steps of the walkway and giving Rick a solemn look. "Now Axels' dead and Lori's hurt. We can't just sit here."

"If we'd left when you said to I would've given birth on the road." Ava said, turning to Hershel. "My babies – would they have survived that? Would we have had the ability to look after newborns out there?"

Hershel said nothing and Ava tightened her grip on Carl, fighting the urge to go grab her babies.

"We've been skirting around the obvious with these arguments." Andrea said, stepping forward. "Some of us want to leave because we're scared of the Governor, scared of the danger. But Lori can't move. Neither can Ava. And she's right, we can't keep two newborns safe out there, not as safe as they would be in here."

She looked around at the members of the group, including Tyreese and Sasha, who stood amongst them. Ben and Allen stood by their area, staring at the proceedings.

"So what, are you gonna leave them behind like Merle said?"

"That's not what I was suggesting." Hershel said.

"Then stop going on about leaving." Andrea said to them all. "It's obvious we won't be able to."

Ava smiled at Andrea as she joined her at the table and Rick nodded his thanks. He stepped away from Ava and looked around.

"Yesterday was tough. I get it, tempers are riled, everyone's afraid. We've lost people, and the sense of safety we had here. But we've gained more than the Governor has. And I'm not just referring to my children."

Ava smiled softly.

"He thinks he's the one in control. He thinks he can torment us. Today wasn't about killing us, it was about showing his power, his control. You know what this tells us?" He braced his arms on the table beside Carl. "It says he'll underestimate us. He knows our numbers – or thinks he does – and he knows where we live. But if he thinks the next battle will be in his favour he's wrong. We're stronger than he ever will be because we're family. He's hurt our family. Today he wanted to scare us. All he's done is piss us off. He's going to regret ever crossing our paths."

Rick stared again into every pair of eyes, including Ava and Carls'. Everyone stared up at him with reverence, a tightness in their faces betraying the anger they felt towards the Governor and the comfort they felt at his words. If there was ever a leader born for this world, it was Rick.

"Today the Governor kicked the hornet's nest. Now he's gonna get stung."


	119. I ain't a judas: Part 2

S3E11P2

After the brief discussion, Ava was ordered to go back to bed by Hershel. She didn't need much encouragement to do so. She checked on the sleeping infants before she climbed back onto the bed she'd given birth in, now stripped and given new bed-sheets.

"Thank you, Sasha." Ava said, sinking onto the bunk. "For everything."

The woman smiled, looking down at the babies.

"It's been so long since I've seen a baby. I forgot how tiny they were."

Ava smiled. Now that she was lying down, the exhaustion was creeping over her.

"I'd like to thank you too." Rick said from the door way. Sasha turned and smiled. "Tell your brother you've both earned your place with us. We could have suffered worse yesterday if you hadn't been here."

"What about Allen and Ben?"

Rick frowned.

"I don't know yet. But we'll see."

She nodded her thanks and left them alone. Rick pulled some blankets over Ava and brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"Did Tyreese get shot?" Ava said, vaguely remembering the events of the shooting. Rick nodded.

"Yeah. Through and through to the shoulder. Hershel sewed him up. It'll leave a scar but no harm done."

Ava nodded. She felt sleep trying to take her, but with Rick by her side and she wanted to stay awake as long as possible. As if he knew, Rick took her hand.

"Sleep, Ava." He said. "I'll watch over you."

"No, Rick." Ava said, trying to sit up a little to keep herself awake. "You need to rest too."

He shook his head.

"I'm fi-"

"If you say you're fine I'm going to hit you."

Rick chuckled.

"Rick." Ava said, her voice softening. "You've been awake as long as I have and yes, I did give birth, but you have to be alert for what comes next. You made a great speech, but the others will want to see something happening. Get some rest. Let Daryl and Hershel take care of things. They can keep the group running for a few hours."

Rick stared at her like he wanted to argue but could find no valid argument.

"She's right, Dad." Carl said as he came into the cell. He looked down at the babies for the first time and grinned before turning to the parents. "You should rest. I'll keep watch."

"Carl-"

"I slept last night."

Rick sighed, looking between his son and the woman he loved, and eventually gave in. He pressed a kiss to Ava's lips and squeezed her hand once before leaving, patting his son on her shoulder as he did. Carl sat at the foot of her bed and watched the babies sleeping. Ava wanted to talk to him about them, but it wasn't long before exhaustion took over.

When Ava woke, the light had changed. Carl was still sat at the end of the bed, but he was leaning on one of the posts and looked half asleep.

"Carl?"

He perked up, turning at her as she pushed herself upright. What had woken her caught her attention as the girl cried once more. Despite being woken up, Ava beamed to see her awake. The boy started grumbling as his sister woke him and Ava moved over to them, picking up the girl first, then, with a little struggle, managing to pick up the boy as well.

Carol was the door of the cell as she sat on the bed, rocking them.

"They're probably hungry again." Ava said. Carol nodded and shooed Carl from the cell, helping her set up with feeding the babies.

Once they were fed, they were content to sleep in any arms available. Ava took them out of the cell and sat at the table as the others in the group moved around, preparing weapons and working on whatever they could. Occasionally they'd stop to come and see the babies, a brief moment of reprieve in their hectic and scared lives. Ava wished she could help, but she literally had her hands full.

"How's your mum doing?" Ava asked Carl, as he started reloading his gun once they'd sat down. He shrugged.

"Hasn't changed much." He was trying to be nonchalant, but Ava could see he was afraid. She rocked the babies and looked around.

"Which one's the noisy one?" Daryl asked, coming up behind her and looking down at them.

"The girl." Ava said, nodding to the baby in her left arm. "I reckon she was the one who'd start the kicking fights in my stomach, too."

Daryl chuckled.

"Hey there, lil' ass kicker."

Ava snorted and even Carl was grinning.

"Great name." She said. "Though we need to give them actual ones." She turned to Carl. "I was saying to your dad that I thought you could suggest some names?"

Carl looked up in surprise, a small smile playing at his lips.

"Really?"

"Absolutely." Ava said, smiling back. He looked between the boy and the girl with a thoughtful frown.

"Well…" He said. "I like Judith for a girl. One of my teachers was called Judith. And my best friend was Aidan."

"Aidan or Judith." Ava said, looking at the infants. "I'll talk to your father about it."

Carl smiled and as if on cue, Rick came back into the prison with Tyreese at his back.

"Take watch." He said, handing a rifle to Maggie. "Eye's open, head down."

She nodded and headed out. Ava cocked a brow at him as he caught her eye and he gave her a sheepish smile.

"What happened to resting?" She said.

"I did rest." He said, pressing a kiss to her head. Ava shifted her arms, a silent offer to give him one of the babies, and he took the boy carefully in his arms, smiled at him, then turned to the rest of the group.

"Field's filled with walkers. I didn't see any snipers out there, but we'll keep Maggie and Andrea on watch."

"I'll get up in the guard tower." Daryl said. "Take out half them walkers, give these guys a chance to fix the fence."

"Or we use some of the cars to put the bus in place." Michonne suggested.

"We can't access the field without burning through our bullets." Hershel warned.

Rick nodded, rocking slightly as the boy grumbled. Ava stood.

"So we're trapped in here. There's barely any food or ammo." Glenn said.

"Been here before." Daryl said. "We'll be alright."

"That's when it was just us. Before there was a snake in the nest."

Ava rolled her eyes.

"Man, we gonna go through this again? Look, Merle's staying here. He's with us now. Get used to it. All of y'all."

"Hey." Rick said, but Daryl was already heading up the stairs to the walkway. Ava rolled her eyes and sighed.

"I know you've got beef with him, Glenn." Ava said. "And trust me, I hate the fucker as much as you. But he's just an asshole. We can put up with an asshole for the sake of survival, can't we?"

Glenn looked like he wanted to say no, but looked at the babies and said nothing. Ava nodded.

"Now, we have to find a way to get rid of those walkers without burning through our ammo." She said.

"I don't see how that's possible." Glenn said.

"I do." Ava said, looking between them. "Well, sort of."

"Sort of?" Rick said, frowning at her.

"The Governor said this place was overrun when you came in. I'm assuming that included the field?"

They nodded.

"Then we take out the walkers in there the same way you did it the first time. I'm assuming you were low on ammo then?"

"We burned through almost all of it." Glenn said.

Rick looked thoughtful.

"But before the guns, you guys called the walkers to the fences to take them out while I ran for the gate." He said.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Hershel warned. "The fences won't take the weight of all those walkers."

"Then we spread out." Glenn said. "Make a run one at a time through the field and draw small clumps of the walkers all round the perimeter."

"We'd have to block the gates somehow first." Michonne added.

"The cars." Rick said. "We drive to the gates in the cars, block them, then call the walkers to different areas."

"Someone would have to be watching the trees though." Glenn added.

"Good thing we've got more people this time." Rick said, grinning. He frowned when he noticed Ava's expression.

"What is it?"

She shook her head.

"Nothing, I just…I was wondering if we could use what the Governor did to our advantage? If we clear the field and he attacks again, it won't take much for him to fill it again, will it? And we're not exactly trapped in the prison."

"What do you mean?" Glenn said.

"Well, Tyreese's group got in through the tombs. We must be able to get out."

"We can't go that way. It's filled with walkers." Glenn said. She shrugged.

"It was only a suggestion. But if we're going to use this place against him, we should consider every angle."


	120. I ain't a judas: Part 3

S3E11P3

No one had anything more to say to that, though Glenn seemed enthused by the makings of a plan to regain the field. Ava left Rick with their son, seeing Carl was no longer at the table, and went to visit the cell she assumed he was in.

Lori was much paler than Ava had ever seen her, her stomach wrapped in bandages. In a short time, it appeared that she had lost so much weight. Her face was gaunt and hollow and Ava had the horrible feeling that she wouldn't make it.

Carl was sat beside her.

Ava said nothing. She joined him at his mothers' side and used her spare hand to rub his shoulder. They sat like that for a while, Ava looking on Lori with sorrow. Had she seen the woman like this when returning from Woodbury, she'd have been sad for her and for Carl, but now with what had seemed like a fresh start happening between them, Ava mourned for what could have been.

A small cry brought her attention to the door as Rick came in. He looked at Lori and Carl, then nodded for Ava to follow him. They went back into Ava's cell. They boy continued to grumble.

"Hershel says it doesn't look good, that her body's keeping her alive for now, but chances are she won't wake up."

"Oh God Rick, I'm so sorry."

Rick shook his head, looking down at their babies. Ava thought of Carl sitting diligently at his mothers' bed and her heart almost broke.

"I hear Daryl's been calling her little ass kicker."

Ava smiled.

"Yeah. I asked Carl what he thought about names. He offered up Judith and Aidan."

Rick nodded, looking between them and mouthing the names as if he were seeing which one fit better.

"I did think of a name earlier." Ava said. "One to honour someone we've lost."

Rick nodded, looking at her.

"What were you thinking?"

"Hey. Hey!" Rick said, rushing from the cell as a commotion and shouts echoed towards them. "What the hell is going on?"

Ava followed Rick, half-expecting to see Merle and Glenn at each others' throats, but it was Tyreese and Allen.

"What's going on?" Rick repeated, handing their son to Carol. Ava came to stand beside her.

"This isn't our fight." Allen spat, but not so much at Rick as I was to Tyreese, who was glaring at Allen, shoulders heaving.

"There is always a fight!" Tyreese yelled back. "Whether it's killing the dead to survive on the road or fighting the living to protect a safe place. What did you think would happen? You think survivors will come across this place and not want to take it? Survivors are desperate!"

"Survivors don't have an army. This Governor guy does." Allen looked at Rick for the first time since the argument broke out. "We didn't ask to be a part of your massacre."

"I told you, straight and upfront, that we were in trouble with some other survivors." Rick said calmly, though his face betrayed rage.

"You didn't tell us these survivors outnumbered you massively or that they had loads of guns!"

Rick stepped forwards and looked between the men.

"Do you want to leave?"

"I've said it before, I'll say it again." Tyreese said. "We will fight for this place. Well," He turned a frown to Allen. "Me and my sister will."

Rick turned to Allen.

"You don't want to fight, you don't have to. But you can't stay here if that's the case."

Allen swallowed, looking at his son.

"Just give the Governor what he wants!"

"He doesn't want anything." Ava said, stepping closer. "He's a psychopath. We jilted him in escaping, he won't just want Merle or us prisoners back, he'll want to kill us all."

Allen looked at them all, shaking with anger.

"Then we'll leave."

"Dad-"

"Shut up!"

The boy went quiet.

"We're leaving."

Rick looked at Allens' son.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to."

Ben looked between Rick and his father, but said nothing as Allen's angry gaze lingered on him. He followed his dad without a word.

"They won't be able to get through the field." Andrea warned.

"I've got it." Tyreese said. "They were our people. We'll make sure they leave safe."

"We both will." Sasha said, picking up her gun.

Rick nodded to them and the siblings followed the rest of their group. He turned back to Ava and gave her a smile before continuing on with his duties.


	121. I ain't a judas: Part 4

S3E11P4

Ava swapped the girl for the boy so she could have some time holding her son, Carol taking the girl as she went to speak to Daryl. She sat at the table as Michonne did some exercises, Andrea sitting beside them and cooing at the baby, who was only half awake.

"Smart to stay fit."

The three looked up as Merle came in, glaring. He ignored the looks and sat opposite them at the table.

"Don't leave out the cardio." Michonne merely glared. Merle looked over at Ava and Andrea.

"Cute baby." He said. "That the boy or girl?"

"What's the difference?" Ava said. "You were going to kill them either way."

Merle pursed his lips.

"How do you know?"

Ava frowned. Merle shrugged.

"Guess we'll never know now whether I'd actually have been able to do that. I didn't want to, you know. Why'd you think I offered you that chance?"

Ava said nothing to this, but she didn't think he was lying. She also hadn't thought he'd wanted to kill them in the first place.

"What does it matter whether you wanted to or not?" Andrea said. "You were going to kill us, hunted us through the forest."

Merle sighed and looked back at Michonne, who was still working out.

"You know, if we're gonna live under the same roof, we should clear the air. This whole hunting you down thing, that was just business. Carrying out orders."

"Like the Gestapo." Michonne said.

"Exactly." Merle said, turning back to the table. "I've done a lot of things I ain't proud of. Before and after."

Ava could see he was thinking of those times, but he shook his head and stood.

"Anyway, hope we can get past it. Let bygones be bygones."

Then he was gone, leaving the three alone – well, four, counting the sleeping boy who'd heard none of what had been said.

"Does he really think we can get over what he did?" Andrea said, scoffing.

"I think we can."

Both women looked at her in shock. Ava sighed.

"It'll take time, and a part of me will always hate him, but I think he really is sorry, even though he didn't expressly say it. He's just muscle. He does as he's told when he respects who's saying it."

"Or fears them." Andrea added.

By the days' end, the group was in a sombre kind of mood. They sat at their tables and ate dinner. Conversation was sparse. By the time the meal was ending, no one had said very much. Ava looked across all of them, Merle, Tyreese and Sasha included for the first time, and sighed.

"I have something I want to say." She said, drawing their attention. Rick looked up from his food. He was now holding their daughter and they shared a look. He nodded. Ava smiled ruefully. "We'll survive. I know we'll survive. Because we've survived this far. He survived group dissent and hoards of the dead and separation that lasted months. But here we all are. We made it. We'll survive because we have to. Not just for us, but for the human race."

She looked down at her son and smiled.

"You might think having children in this world is stupid and, hell, it sort of is." Small chuckles came from around the room. "But it's shown me that we will continue. The human race doesn't end with us, with the dead. It'll continue. And honestly? I think it'll be better for the reset. We'll do things right this time around. We'll teach the next generation to be better."

When she finished no one was eating their food anymore. They were either smiling at her or looking thoughtfully at their plates. Ava smiled at each and every one of them.

"With that said, I think it's time to introduce you all to the twins. Our son…" She looked at Carl. "Is Aidan Jeffery Grimes."

Carl was beaming as he looked on his little brother.

"And our daughter…" Ava looked at Andrea. "Is Amelia Dale Grimes. Or Amy, for short."

Andrea's eyes welled with tears and she got up from the table, moving around it. Ava stood and hugged Andrea as she reached her, holding her tight.

"Thank you." Andrea said through tears. Ava smiled, tearing up herself.

"You're like a sister to me. All that time we've been together, everything you've done. I had to honour you. I thought you'd prefer I honour you with Amy's name rather than your own."

Andrea nodded.

"You thought right."

They hugged again and Rick stood, bring Amy over for Andrea to hold. No sooner had he stood, Hershel started clapping. Soon the whole group was clapping and cheering, disturbing the twins and making them squirm.

Glenn stood, holding his glass of water and beaming past the bruising on his face.

"To Aidan and Amelia Grimes: the first of the new Human race."

More cheers followed and everyone toasted the children. As the voices quietened down, Beth began to sing. The cell block fell silent as they listened to her. Rick, now holding Amelia again, tapped Carl on the shoulder and took his seat, getting the boy to sit on his knee. Carl looked down at his sister and took hand, her tiny fingers wrapping around his own. He looked up at his dad, grinning.

Rick smiled back and rocked her, reaching his spare hand across and taking Ava's. He looked deep into her eyes and for the first time in a long time, Ava felt completely safe and surrounded by family.

There was only one thing missing, but in that moment she knew one day she would find them: Luke, Hailey and Riley. She'd find them and she'd show them her new family. And that would be the greatest day of her life.


	122. Clear: Part 1

S3E12P1

Ava was exhausted but, strangely enough, no more than usual. It seemed the sleepless nights that had come with the worlds end had given her the preparation for sleepless night as a mother.

The twins were generally good. Aidan slept peacefully and Ava suspected he'd sleep all night through if it wasn't for his sister. She could pretty much guarantee after one night that if a baby cried and woke the other, it was Amelia who cried first.

Rick helped her with them, but Ava was reluctant to let him that night. He'd told her about his plan for the next day before they'd gone to bed.

"I'm going back home."

"Why?"

"A supply run, mostly. The man I met there, Morgan, I gave him half the guns from the locker at the precinct. If he's still there, I'm hoping he can help us."

"Let me guess. I can't come."

Rick had chuckled and kissed her then.

"I'll take Michonne and Carl. I can look after myself, Ava. Our babies can't. They need you to stay here."

Of course, she'd known that. She'd been coming to terms with the reality of her new life throughout her pregnancy. God…being pregnant felt so long ago now. In reality it had only been two days.

When she woke the next morning and looked on her still sleeping children, she felt a pang of guilt as she realised she had no idea what their birthday was. She couldn't even definitively say what the month was. It almost brought her to tears.

Leaving the cell, the first thing she'd done was track down some paper and a pencil. She could only find one scrap that had once been some form for the prison. On the back of the paper she used a stub of a pencil to draw two lines. She then folded the paper and rolled it around the pencil, slipping it into her trouser pocket.

Each day she'd add another line, a tally, counting up to 365. Then she'd know it was their birthday – or there abouts.

After that, the twins had woken. She'd fed them and watched Rick, Michonne and Carl prepare for their trip. In the light of early dawn, Ava stood in the courtyard with Aidan and Amelia in both arms. Rick was packing the boot and Carl stopped at her side on the way to the car.

"I'll find Amy and Aidan some toys." He said, then he frowned. "How long will it be until they can play with toys?"

Ava smiled, swaying from side to side.

"It'll be a few months before they play themselves, but babies love other people playing with them. And remind your father to get them clothes as well as toys. And more nappies."

The twins had been in nothing but blankets made of other peoples' shirts and nappies since their birth. Carl frowned.

"What are nappies?"

Ava chuckled.

"They're diapers, but British people call them nappies." Rick said, coming over to them.

"And I always will." Ava said, giving him a kiss. Carl made a disgusted sound and Rick put his hand on his back, chuckling.

"You be safe, alright?" Rick said. Ava nodded.

"You too."

"If my mum wakes up, can you tell her I love her?" Carl said.

"Of course, Carl." Ava said, forcing herself to smile at him. Michonne gave her a smile as she passed and the three got into the car. Glenn and Maggie were at the fences and opened them for Rick as the car went past. Ava rocked her children and watched Rick disappear once again.

"Are you alright?"

Ava looked up. Maggie was at her side, frowning in concern. Ava blinked and a tear fell down her cheek. She chuckled and shook her head.

"I'm fine. Just an emotional wreck, I suppose. And this is the first time we've been properly separated since the farm."

Maggie pursed her lips and rubbed her back. Glenn came over to them and Ava smiled.

"You haven't had a chance to hold them yet. Either of you." She said, looking between her friends. "Do you want to?"

They both nodded. Maggie took Aidan and Glenn took Amelia, both of them looking at the infants with giddy grins on their faces. Ava smiled.

"I'm sorry, Ava."

Ava frowned at Glenn.

"For what?"

"For being a dick these last few days. Maggie and I have talked." He looked at his girlfriend, who smiled back at him. "I was just so angry after everything the Governor did – and Merle. I was…I'm just sorry for being like that. I know Rick didn't deserve my anger and neither did you."

Ava smiled, wrapping her arms around his middle and giving him a side hug, swiftly planting a kiss on Amelia's head as she did.

"It's alright, Glenn. I get it, I really do. And while we have a moment, I wanted to talk to both of you about being Godparents."

Maggie gaped at Ava and Glenn stared, shocked.

"Are you serious?"

"Absolutely. Rick agreed with me when I suggested it. You're both good people and you're a great couple. If anything happens to Rick and I, it'd make me feel so much better knowing you were looking after them."

Maggie was struggling not to cry and shifted Aidan into one arm, wrapping her other around Ava and giving her a tight hug. Glenn then did the same.

"It would be an honour to be their Godparents." Glenn said, sniffing. Ava grinned, wiping tears from her eyes as Glenn handed Amelia back to her. He then kissed Maggie and went off to work, the two women returning to the Cell Block.


	123. Update

Hey guys. Before I say anything else I want to thank you for your continued support of this story. Don't worry, this isn't an update to say I'm stopping :). I've decided to change the way I update this story. From now on, I will post the entirety of an episode once every week. I know in the long run this is updating less but I've been struggling to write two episodes a week with everything else I need to do. I'll post the rest of 'Clear' tomorrow in one full chapter and then the next episode will be next Monday. Sorry if this upsets anyone, but I think of quality of the story will improve if I take more time on each episode and in the end, the story is more important than how fast I update. I may in the future return to regular updates, but it depends on life, which of course is always unpredictable :) Thank you for your understanding xx 


	124. Clear: Part 2

_Authors note: Hey guys. So here's why I had to change things up. I struggled time wise with this episode and only wrote what I needed to add for the plot. I'm afraid Morgan isn't in this but like I said, I can focus on making the content better in the future now. Hope you still enjoy the rest of this episode!_

* * *

S3E12P2

Ava spent most of the morning playing with her children. There was a brief time when they were awake and not crying for something and Ava took advantage of that. She talked to them about her brother and sister and life before the dead started walking. She talked to them about all the animals she had seen in zoos and she told them about the beautiful archaeology and sights all around the world. Places she'd been like Peru and India, places she would never go again.

Eventually they got tired of stories and cried for food. She fed them and sang the house of the rising sun until they were finished and asleep. She lay them down in their box-beds and asked Beth to keep an eye on them.

Being inside was making her stir crazy, so she took her spear and her gun, missing her dagger, and walked out into the courtyard. She looked out across the field and wished she could walk in it once more. She contemplated the risk of going out there to assess the damage to the gates, but decided against it. No matter how large or small, it was an unnecessary risk she didn't need to take. For the first time in this new life, she had to protect herself for the sake of her children.

"What're you doing out here?"

Ava turned to Daryl, cocking a brow at his suspicious look.

"I'm not going anywhere, Daryl. I don't have my dagger anymore so I have to carry my spear pretty much everywhere."

He nodded, moving past her to the gates.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Going hunting."

"Need a hand?"

"No."

Ava rolled her eyes and shook her head, wondering whether she should go up to the guard tower with Andrea for a bit, as Daryl opened the gates.

As the grating sound ended, they caught the tail end of a scream.

Ava and Daryl froze, looking out to the tree line. Everything was silent, then-

"Oh God! Oh God, oh God, oh God!"

"Shut up!"

Ava exchanged a look with Daryl. Someone – a man – was crying out in pain and someone else – a woman – was telling him to shut up.

"Andrea!" Ava yelled, looking up at the guard tower. Andrea looked through the rifle along the tree line, then stopped and pointed.

"Over there! Two people, one injured."

"Keep them in your sights." Daryl said, going to shut the gate. Ava slipped through and he growled. "Ava-"

"We don't have time to argue, Daryl. I'm not an invalid. I can handle myself and I'm not going to let people die because I'm a mum now."

With that, Ava stepped past Daryl and stabbed a walker that was ambling towards them. Daryl cursed and locked the gates, the two of them running through the field towards the gates. One of the two people was trying to cut a hole in the fence. Ava could see why. Even with walkers inside, they were being followed by one hell of a hoard.

"Hey!" Ava yelled, gritting her teeth from the uncomfortable feeling of running days after giving birth. "Get to the gate!"

The woman was blonde and dressed in some kind of armour, while the man was too heavily slumped over the woman to be seen. She did as Ava said and dragged him around the fence. Daryl shot some of the closest walkers to them, the arrows flying through the chain-linked fence.

They got to the gate and Ava raced past the newcomers, making short work of the three walkers at their back. More were following.

"Shit." Ava said. There were at least twenty walkers following them and they'd flood into the field unless they took them down.

She turned to the newcomers and saw Daryl taking the man from the woman. She turned and drew a knife of her own, joining Ava as they picked off the herd. It was a tense process. Ava's heart was in her throat. Andrea shot the dead sneaking up behind them. Ava and the woman would kill a few, take a few steps back, then kill the dead that came forward.

Halfway up the field, the herd was down, littering the path to the prison. Ava turned back to the courtyard and told the woman to run. They did. Daryl held the gate open and Ava and the woman raced inside. He locked it behind them.

Tyreese and Hershel were at the man's side. He was on the ground, shivering and pale as anything. Maggie and Glenn had their guns and held them on the woman, who glared and looked ready to fight. Ava held a hand out to her.

"It's alright." She said. "This is just a precaution. You do nothing to harm us, we'll do nothing to harm you."

"Besides." Daryl said, moving away from the gates. "We just saved your lives."

"I would have been all right." The woman growled.

"You're friend wouldn't have been." Hershel said. The man was panting hard, staring in shock at the strangers. Hershel pulled away shirt and saw a wound on his shoulder.

"Is he bit?" Daryl said.

"Shot. Some pricks on the road. The kind you need to be cautious about." The woman said, looking pointedly at Ava. She shrugged.

"Can't be too careful either way. Hershel, can you help him?"

"The wound is non-lethal, but it looks infected. Could clear us out of antibiotics." He warned.

"Ricks' on a run. He could come back with some. Do what you must to save him."

"You sure about that?" Daryl said, eyeing the newcomers suspiciously.

"What kind of people would we be if we just let him die?" Ava said. By now, more people from the group were beginning to come out of the cell block, wondering what was going on. "Take, um, what's his name?"

"Jeff. And I'm Claudia." The woman said.

"Ava. Pleased to meet you. Take Jeff into the atrium where we kept Tyreese and the others. Claudia, you too. We'll talk inside."

Hershel tended to Jeff with the help of Carol while Daryl, Glenn, Tyreese and Sasha went to scout where they'd come from, looking for others or any sign of what had happened. Maggie replaced Andrea on watch and Andrea was with Ava, the two of them sat opposite Claudia, who eyed them harshly.

"Are we prisoners?" She asked. Ava frowned.

"You seem to have an issue with people being cautious. Have you not come across people who wanted to kill you or take what you have?"

Claudia said nothing.

"What about the men who shot Jeff? Who were they?"

She shrugged.

"Some assholes. We've been travelling for months, hoped to find some refugee camp in America at first. Became fairly obvious that wasn't going to happen."

"And the men?" Andrea pressed.

"Some sort of convoy. Heavily armed dicks. They wanted our stuff, not that we had very much. I declined. They didn't like that."

"So you ran?"

Claudia nodded.

"Did they follow you?" Ava asked.

"No, we ran into the forest. One followed for a while and got a shot in, but eventually turned back. We weren't worth the effort. After that, we were pretty much hounded by the dead. Only managed to find a few places to rest. It seemed pretty dire until we saw the prison."

Ava nodded at that. The gates clattered and Daryl returned with the others.

"Didn't find anything." Was all he said before he ducked back into the prison.

"How's he looking?" Maggie asked her dad.

"He's stabilised. The antibiotics should be doing their job by now but won't know if he'll make it until he wakes up."

Ava looked over at Hershel and Jeff. She frowned. There was something familiar about that man. He had dark brown hair and a thin face. From the front he had the sort of face that looked like a teenagers whilst being over thirty, but in profile he looked…well, he looked a little like Rick.

Ava frowned some more. Then her eyes widened.

Then a scream echoed from the cell block.

Ava's heart stopped in her chest. Her muscles seized, her blood turned cold and in that split-second she had never felt so afraid. She was at the gate before anyone else, shoving it aside and racing to her cell.

She fell to her knees over her babies, but they were fine. Amelia was awake and looked about to cry, probably woken by the scream, but they were unharmed. They were fine.

Ava pressed a hand to her chest and realised she was breathing hard, almost hyperventilating. With shaking hands, she picked up Amelia before she could cry properly and wake her brother.

She stumbled out of the cell, a hand on her gun as she turned to where everyone else was gathering. Beth was sobbing, cradled in the arms of her sister, and everyone else was looking into a cell two doors down. Ava's stomach plummeted.

She stepped closer to the cell, the sounds of growls echoing out of it. Amelia snuffled in her mothers' arms and tucked her face against her body, already searching for food. Ava reached the doorway and looked into the cell.

Lori's hand was cuffed to the side of the bed, a precaution in case she died. Because of this, the walker could only reach out for them with a stump. Ava swallowed, looking into the woman's dead eyes. She hadn't seen this before, seen someone she'd known become a walker. The change was jarring and she wanted to throw up. Daryl stepped forward, raising his crossbow.

"Sorry." He said, releasing the arrow that killed her corpse. Ava closed her eyes and moved away, cradling her daughter and trying not to cry. She saw Claudia and Andrea at the doorway and went over to them. Claudia stared in shock at her daughter.

"Lori?" Andrea said.

"She's gone."

Andrea looked down and sighed. Ava moved past them and Hershel looked up from Jeff.

"What happened?" She asked, seeing the understanding in his eyes.

"She lost a lot of blood and I couldn't be sure that I'd patched every artery. She would have slipped away in her sleep. No pain."

Ava nodded.

"Oh God, poor Carl." She said, rubbing her head. "How can I tell him?"

"You'll find a way." Maggie said. The others were filing back in now, tears in their eyes.

"We should bury her." Carol said.

"No." Ava said, shaking her head. "No, we can't do that, not without Carl and Rick here."

"Well, we can't leave her like that." Beth said, sniffing.

"I'll wrap the body." Daryl said. "Clean the cell a bit. We'll bury her tomorrow."

"I'll help you." Glenn said. The two disappeared back into the cell and the group fell into silence. They'd lost Lori. The Governor had taken not only Axel but Lori as well. Ava sighed.

"I didn't know people still had babies." Claudia said, breaking the silence. Ava turned to her.

"We didn't exactly choose to have children, but we made it work."

As if on cue, Aidan started crying from their cell and Ava turned to go to him.

"How many babies do you have?" She heard Claudia ask as she went to tend to her son. She picked him up and brought the twins back to the rest of the group, looking over at Jeff again.

"What's his full name?" Ava asked. Claudia frowned, slightly distracted by the babies.

"Why?"

"Because I think I know him – indirectly, at least."

"What're you talking about?" Andrea said, frowning. Ava just looked at Claudia, waiting.

"Jeffrey Grimes. Why?"

Everyone looked at the man in shock.

"Grimes?" Glenn said, looking to Ava for answers.

"Why do you think Aidans' middle name is Jeffrey? He's Ricks' little brother."

Ava sat outside with Andrea and her babies. Andrea held Amelia, cooing at her and calling her Amy. Ava had realised she called her Amelia more than Amy, but it made no difference to her. Carl called her Amy as well.

The sun was setting. Ava didn't know how long they'd sat out there, but she would stay until Rick got back.

Carol had changed the sheets in Lori's cell and cleaned up the blood. Glenn and Daryl had wrapped her body in sheets and tied them up. Carl shouldn't have to see his mother like that.

"When I'd imagined how this day was going to go, this was not what I'd expected." Andrea said, her finger caught in Amelia's fist. Ava chuckled.

"Same. I thought I'd spend it tending to the twins, worrying about Rick and Carl and Michonne…Instead we lost Lori and found Ricks' brother."

Andrea nodded.

"I didn't know Rick had any siblings? I mean, you talk about your brother and sister from time to time. He said nothing."

"I think he felt bad. He and Jeff didn't exactly part on good terms. He didn't give me the details, but I got the impression Rick thought he'd done wrong by him." Ava said, pressing a kiss to Aidan's head and looking out across at the setting sun.

"What do you think about Claudia?" Andrea asked.

"I think she's a hard-ass, but I don't think she'll kill us. She risked her life to keep Jeff alive, after all."

Andrea nodded. A whistle sounded and Ava looked up at the guard tower. Daryl pointed out to the road and she looked down. The car was coming back.

They stood. Maggie went to unlock the gate and Ava turned to Andrea, putting Aidan in her other arm. Ava stood and waited, swallowing hard. She couldn't let either of them go in, not until she'd talked to them both.

When the car stopped Rick got out and Ava blanched. There was blood on his shirt and his left arm hung limp at his side. Bandages were strapped across his body.

"What happened?" Ava said, running to him. She went to look at the wound but Rick pulled her close to him, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I got stabbed, but it's fine. What happened here? Saw the walkers."

Ava stared at him, ignoring the question.

"Fine? How did you get stabbed?"

"It's a long story." He sighed, looking over at Andrea and smiling at his babies. Maggie locked the gate behind them. "Now what happened with the walkers?"

"It's a long story." Ava echoed, swallowing hard as she searched for the words.

"We found baby stuff, Ava." Carl said, running over and grinning. "And I got some toys."

Ava said nothing as Carl hugged her, holding him close to her as she looked up at Rick. He frowned at the look on her face and she shook her head.

"Lori?" He mouthed the word. Ava nodded. Rick rubbed his face.

"We even found cribs. They have to be assembled but we got two of them." Carl said, pulling back. He saw the sorrowful look on her face and frowned. "What is it?"

"That all sounds wonderful Carl, really." She said.

"Carl." Rick said, drawing his attention. He knelt down before him. "Carl, I'm so sorry…"

Ava stepped away, pressing a hand to her mouth. Michonne had moved over to Andrea and looked down at the babies with a tight smile. She'd noticed she hadn't spent much time with the babies, but as a mother herself, she was certain she knew why that was…

Carl started sobbing behind her and Ava turned, trying to fight tears as Rick held his son.

She stayed like that, waiting in silence for them to separate. Eventually, Rick stood, rubbing Carl on the back. The boy ran off towards the prison. Ava went to call him back, but doubted he'd notice the unconscious man in the atrium, let alone that it was his uncle.

Ava swallowed, turning to Rick. His eyes were red and he rubbed them as he moved to her side.

"How did it happen?" he asked.

"Beth went to check on her but…she had already turned." She swallowed, remembering her tugging against her restraints. If she hadn't been handcuffed, she could have easily got into Ava's cell… She shuddered, trying not to think about that. "Hershel said she probably passed in her sleep so it was painless, at least. Will Carl be okay?"

It was a stupid question and she knew it, but she felt obliged to say it.

"He's strong, but it'll take time. For now, I think he just needs to cry. I should go to him."

"Rick, wait." Ava said, putting a hand on his chest.

He frowned at her, clearly confused as to why she'd stop him from comforting his grieving son.

"Today's been a busy day." Andrea said, when words seemed to fail Ava. "We had some newcomers."

Rick's frown deepened and he turned back to Ava for answers.

"A woman and a man. The man was injured, but Hershels' seen to him, but, Rick…The man is your brother."

Rick blinked, stumbling back a step.

"What?"

"His name's Jeff Grimes. He was shot but he should be okay but it is him, Rick."

Rick swallowed, looking like he was trying to figure out what she really meant with those words, as if he couldn't believe that his brother was here. After a moment, he moved past Ava and headed for the cell block. Ava exchanged a look with Andrea and Michonne and the three followed, Andrea still cradling the twins.

When they got inside, Rick was knelt beside the man, staring at him in shock. Ava moved to his side and wrapped and arm around his shoulders.

"I can't believe it." Rick muttered. "He was so far away."

"Claudia said they came to America looking for refuge. Were they in Mexico?"

Rick nodded.

"That's where he went after we argued. Then I got shot."

They stayed like that for a while longer, Ava allowing him a moment with his brother, who was breathing steadily and oblivious to Rick's presence. Eventually, Ava pressed a kiss to his cheek and tilted his head so he looked at her.

"Go to your son, Rick." Ava said, smiling weakly. "He needs you."

Rick swallowed and nodded, the two of them standing. He rubbed her arm lovingly before heading into the Cell Block. Ava sighed and looked to Andrea.

"Hell of a day." She said.


	125. Arrow in the doorpost: Part 1

_Authors note: So sorry, but this episode ended up being super long and I had a busy weekend. This post is about the length of recent episodes but only half of the actual episode, so there'll be the second half of this episode to come. Hope you enjoy it!_

* * *

S3E13P1

Carl sat beside Ava as she changed Jeffs' bandages. He hadn't woken up yet, but any fever from the infection had gone down and Hershel was hopeful he'd be okay. Carl was obsessed. When he wasn't talking about the babies or playing with them, he was talking about Jeff.

Ava thought it had something to do with the loss of his mother. He's taken it hard, but immediately latched on to Jeff, one of his only living relatives from before the outbreak.

When she finished changing the bandages, she touched the back of her hand to his head. Warm, but not alarmingly so. He snorted in his sleep and Carl chuckled.

"When will he wake up?" Carl asked as they left the cell Rick had moved his brother into. Claudia looked up as they did, a question in her eyes. Ava shook her head.

"Soon. Hershel says he'll be okay."

"You said that about my mum and she wasn't."

Ava's heart clenched painfully at that and she wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"She was hurt worse than your uncle. The infections gone, now all we have to do is wait."

They moved over to Beth, who was holding Amelia. Aidan was sleeping soundly as he often did. She took her daughter and thanked her as she went to help the others.

Carl looked at his sister with a small smile on his face, then frowned.

"When will dad be back?"

Ava's heart clenched again, this time much more painfully, and it left her with a feeling of cold dread. She shook herself, trying to ignore her fears.

"Soon. And you can trust me on that. Your father always comes back."

This one Carl didn't doubt, and as Ava took Amelia into her cell to join her brother, she couldn't help but wish she could believe her own words.

Saying goodbye to Ava had been one of the hardest things Rick had ever done – only marginally harder than saying goodbye to Carl. He felt bad that he worried for Ava more, but he chalked it up to the fact that he'd lost her for so long. Carl he wouldn't lose. Not now, not ever. Same with Aidan and Amelia, though again with them he feared they would disappear as they had when she was gone.

He pushed these thoughts aside, forgetting the strained smile she'd given him with terror in her eyes, as they pulled up at the agreed meeting place.

It was abandoned of course, large silo's littering the area. Hershel rolled down the window and looked around before turning to Rick. They shared a look as he got out of the car.

Bringing Hershel was Ava's idea. She thought it better to have a man known for his logical and unbiased opinions present. Rick had argued at first, what with his brother in medical need, but Hershel assured him what Jeff needed now was rest and someone to change the bandages. Plenty of the group were qualified for that.

So Hershel had come, along with Andrea, who was determined to see the Governor again, and Daryl, who was the muscle.

Rick told Hershel to stay in the car and joined Daryl and Andrea as they jogged around the silo's, Daryl with his crossbow raised. They scanned the area, watching for walkers and men alike. Rick didn't know what he'd do if he found someone. Would he shoot them on sight? What if they were nothing to do with the Governor? Rick already knew he wouldn't take the chance, especially with some mystery group out there. The group who shot his brother.

Finding Jeff alive was the biggest surprise Rick could have imagined waiting for him after that disastrous meeting with Morgan. His brother, alive after all this time. It had been what, a year and a half? Two years? Hard to tell, but he'd known Jeff was in Mexico and that chances were slim they'd ever find one another.

It made Rick feel guilty. He hadn't spoken to Ava much and she'd given him that time, thinking it was him getting used to having found his brother and lost his ex-wife, but it wasn't all that. He found himself unable to look her in the eye for long, knowing that she had been searching for her family for all this time and yet he found both his wife and son, and then his brother before she found anyone. It wasn't fair. He hoped for her sake that fate would show her her family soon enough.

There wasn't time to think about that, though. They kept moving, coming across a building behind the silo's. They stopped when they saw a downed walker. Rick marched straight past it as Daryl knelt down to check it. Andrea kept her eye on the trees around them. At the corner of the building, Rick turned, pointing Daryl and Andrea towards the back as he headed towards the front. They nodded and did as he said.

He approached with caution, his Python held against his thigh, and ducked carefully into the dark building. His steps were steady, and as he reaching the end of the hallway, he pulled the hammer back.

Inside was a raised platform, a table and chairs set out on top in line with the sunlight. He walked the ramp up to it and looked around, seeing nothing. A noise behind him and he turned, watching steadily as the Governor approached. The man who'd kidnapped Ava and Andrea, Maggie and Glenn. The man who'd assaulted Maggie and tried to have them executed. Rick's hand shook on the grip of his gun.

The Governor stopped on the other side of the table, looking him up and down. Then he raised his hands and let out a breathy chuckle. Rick was not amused and simply stared at him. The Governors' smile quickly soured and he shrugged, dropping his hands.

"We have a lot to talk about." He said.

"You attacked us." Rick said, relaxing his stance but never letting go of the gun. "Makes things pretty clear."

"I was trying to make things clear. I could have killed you all. I didn't."

"Nah, you just almost got a pregnant lady and her children killed."

The Governor chuckled again and Rick wanted to throttle him.

"They're still alive then." He said, almost sounding pleased. "How are they? Has she had the babies yet?"

Rick said nothing, but the look on his face must have given him the answer. The Governor nodded.

"I presume you're the father? You're a lucky man. To still have your children. I'm glad I didn't kill her."

Rick looked around, fighting back all the ugly things he wanted to say to the man who hurt Ava. Her eye was still bruised from where he'd hit her.

"So here we are." Rick said, looking the Governor dead in the eye. A second later and the Python was raised, barrel held steady on the Governor. He didn't even flinch, raising his arms again, but not in any fearful sense.

"I'm gonna remove my weapon. Show that I mean to negotiate in good faith. I'd like you to do the same."

Rick said and did nothing, waiting to see what this Governor would do next. He lowered one hand and looked at Rick questioningly.

"May I?"

Rick made a subtle gesture, shrugging to indicate he didn't care what he did. The Governor proceeded to remove his belt and placed it on a hook.

"See? No trouble." He smiled again, and Rick saw what Andrea meant when she told them he was charismatic. That smile could easily make people trust him. "Now you."

Rick was never going to remove his weapon, but he did holster it, keeping a hand on the grip as he moved behind one of the chairs at the table. The Governor shrugged.

"Well, suit yourself." He said, sitting in the other one.

Rick stared at him. They both looked up when the gate screeched open and Rick frowned at the man who entered, who was joined by Andrea.

"What do you want, Milton?"

Milton pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at Andrea, swallowing.

"I didn't realise you'd start this without me."

"And why wouldn't I?"

"Because I set this up. I want this fight to end. There's no reason for us to all kill each other."

Rick frowned. So this was the man Andrea had been approached by. She'd almost shot him when he turned up at the prison gates and went down alone, asking him what he wanted. He wouldn't come in. The car he'd driven had been idling behind him. He'd just wanted to convince her to talk things through. So here they were.

"That's why I asked you here." Milton finished. "To talk things through."

Andrea scoffed.

"I know what you've done." Rick said, staring at the Governor. "I heard about the raids, the heads…Maggie."

The Governor gave him a cool look.

"Merle did that."

"No." Rick interrupted. Andrea glared at the man and Milton frowned at them all, at the piece of information he was not privy to. "You know what I'm talking about."

Milton looked confused and turned to the Governor for an explanation, who didn't once look away from Rick.

"You know all about me and I know all about you. I don't care about any of that. We're here to move forward."

And he gave Rick a charming grin. Rick tried to smile back, but he felt it was a grim one because in that moment, all he wanted to do was shoot the fucker in the head.

The day was young, but Ava was still anxious about Rick and the others being gone. The twins had fed an hour ago and, for lack of anything else to do, she'd turned to Michonne for a workout.

"You shouldn't push yourself. You only gave birth a few days ago."

"I know, but I need to build my strength up. Even if you only work me over a little, it'll be better than nothing."

Michonne was reluctant, but agreed to do as she said. She talked Ava through crunches and squats (which she watched very carefully), then push-ups and other routines Ava didn't know the names of. By the end, she was sweating and achy, but in the best way.

"Not bad." Michonne said with a wry grin. Ava smiled. As her breathing grew more relaxed though, she found her mind drifting back to the others.

"Do you think they'll do it? That they'll come to an agreement with the Governor?"

Michonne pursed her lips.

"No."

Ava looked at her again.

"You told Rick about the heads in his home, but you never told me what happened in there? Why not?"

Michonne stared at her and for a moment Ava thought she wouldn't reply, then-

"I didn't know what you'd think about what I did. If you'd think I was wrong."

Ava frowned, then chuckled.

"Would you care? If that were the case."

Michonne smiled.

"A little."

Ava frowned again and stood, the muscles in her legs pleasantly burning.

"Well, tell me. I'm sure it can't be that bad."

Again, she stared, but Ava didn't give in, cocking a brow until Michonne spoke.

"He had a walker in his apartment, chained with a bag over its head. At first, I thought he had a little girl in a cage, but it was a walker. It was his daughter."

Ava sucked in a breath.

"He thought she was still alive, or at least he still saw her as his daughter. He was insane. I killed her, put her out of her misery. But to the Governor, I murdered his daughter."

Ava swallowed, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"I can see why that would upset him, yes." She swallowed and thought, her mind going to Rick and the others now meeting this man. "Did you tell Rick that?"

"No."

"Why not? They've gone there to negotiate peace but there's no way he'll agree to anything like that if you killed his daughter!"

Michonne gave her a hard look.

"I did not kill his daughter. She was already dead."

Ava sighed.

"I know, but the way he sees it…" Ava shook her head. "Rick will be careful. It'll be fine."

She didn't know if she was reassuring Michonne or herself.

They joined the others. Glenn, Maggie and Carl were looking through their guns and Michonne and Ava quickly followed suit. Ava checked her own handgun at first, seeing it was fully loaded, and returned it to the holster she'd borrowed from Rick.

"Carl, come here." Glenn said. Ava looked up as the boy moved to Glenn and took the box of ammo he gave him. "You stash these at the loading dock, alright?"

He nodded and walked off, looking back at Ava. Their shared a quick smile before he left. Ava's heart broke for him. He was being so brave about everything, but Ava knew he needed comfort. She wished she could give him more, but with two newborns and a war on the way, it was difficult to find time.

"Beth," Glenn said, drawing Ava's attention from the boy. "Put more up on the catwalk. If anyone gets pinned down we need to make sure that they have plenty of ammo." He picked up a blowtorch. "I'll go work on the cage outside."

"What we should be doing," Ava looked up, surprised to find Merle watching them work. He'd been pretty much nonexistent since his awkward apology. "Is loading some of this firepower in a truck and paying a visit to the Governor. We know where he is right now."

"Are you suggesting that we just go in and kill him?" Glenn said.

"Yeah, I am."

Ava rolled her eyes.

"And how would you plan on doing that whilst also making sure none of our people already there are killed? I know you have no love for Rick, but even you can't want Daryl killed in the crossfire."

Merle glowered at her but there was little fire behind it. Ava was beginning to understand the small relationship between them. She liked him when he wasn't an asshole, and he liked her when she wasn't making points that contradicted him and were also right.

"We told Rick and Daryl that we'd stay put." Michonne added.

"I've changed my mind, sweetheart. Being on the sideline with my brother out there," Merle shook his head. "ain't sitting right with me."

Michonne turned her back on him, shaking her head.

"Like Ava said, the four of them are right in the middle of it. No idea we're coming. They could get taken hostage or killed. A thousand things could go wrong." Glenn said.

"And they will."

Ava glared at Merle.

"Rick can take care of himself."

"Sorry Posh, but your boyfriends' head could be on a spike real soon."

Ava bristled, trying not to let the words sink in. Through the pile of guns, Michonne took her hand.

"Don't say that to her." Maggie growled, refusing to look him in the eye. Merle shrugged. Glenn looked around at them before turning to Merle.

"It's not the right move. Not now. Can't take the risk of putting them in the crossfire. That's my decision. It's final."

Glenn marched off and Merle shook his head, laughing.

"What's so funny?" Ava seethed.

"You're all acting like you know what you're doing, but you don't."

Ava slammed her gun down and marched up to him.

"Maybe you should stop pretending you know everything. How long have you been in Woodbury again? Since you cut your hand off? So pretty much since the beginning?" Ava took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. "You and your Governor may know a thing or two about war but everyone here knows about survival. And in the end, survival is all that matters."

He had nothing to say to that and Ava marched off, leaving him to his thoughts.

Milton pushed his glasses up his nose again, a habit he seemed to do when he was nervous. Rick looked questioningly at Andrea and she shrugged.

"Look, I know this will be difficult." Milton said. "But we're all good people." Rick highly doubted that. "and we all stood up to help others when everything went to hell. There's no reason-"

"Get to it." The Governor said, snapping his fingers at Rick. Rick pulled the map from his pocket, the one he and all the others had agonised over all night, and placed it on the table. Milton looked at Andrea, who just shook her head.

"Woodbury takes west of the river." Rick said. "The prison takes east. No one crosses, no one trades."

"He's right." Milton said, looking hopeful. "We should hammer out boundaries, then leave each other-"

"I'm sorry, what is this?" The Governor interrupted.

"It's a solution." Milton said.

"Absolutely not." He said, laughing. Rick rounded on Milton.

"What the hell am I doing here, talking to the man who nearly murdered my unborn children. You told me he was willing to talk!"

Milton stuttered for a second, looking at Andrea.

"Don't look at me." She said, folding her arms. "You told me exactly that."

"I hoped talking would change-"

"I am willing to talk." The Governor interrupted. "But the truth is, Rick, he's in no position to make any such offer anyway. I'm here for one thing only: your surrender."

"Oh, you want surrender? Come get it." Rick said, pulling a face akin to a snarl at the man. "You think we hit Woodbury heavy last time?"

"Please!" Milton said, gaining a little authority in his tone. "Just take it easy."

"I don't think the Governor wants to listen to you, Milton." Andrea said, her voice quiet enough for only him to hear. As if to illustrate her point:

"Would you step outside?" The Governor said.

Milton stared at him.

"What?"

"Rick and I, we've got a lot to talk about. You too, Andrea."

"I'm not leaving." She said, folding her arms, though she relented when Rick gave her a look. Then he turned to Milton.

"I came to talk to him."

Milton looked between them both, flushed, then left. Andrea glared at the Governor before following.

Rick sat in the chair opposite the Governor. They sat for a while, in complete silence and all alone.

"So you're the Governor." Rick said.

"That's their term, not mine." He said with another coy smile.

"But still, you're beholden to your people."

"Well, of course."

"You have responsibility to them." The Governor hummed in agreement. "Wasn't Merle your lieutenant?"

The Governor shrugged.

"He was helpful, yeah."

"But you knew he was erratic." Rick pressed. "You blame him for scooping up Glenn and Maggie in the first place?"

"Exactly." Rick nodded along with this, not believing a word he said. "I was trying to sort it out when you attacked."

Rick looked at the Governor, unconvinced.

"So, it was his fault?"

"He's a wild card, but he's effective. He gets the dirty jobs done."

Rick shook his head.

"I thought you'd take responsibility."

The Governor breathed a chuckle, then held up a finger at Rick as if scolding a child.

"I thought you were a cop, not a lawyer."

"Either way," Rick said. "I don't pretend to be a Governor."

The Governor smiled.

"I told you, I'm their leader."

"You're the town drunk you knocked over my fence and ripped up my yard, nothing more." Rick growled.

The Governor stared at him hard for a moment, then clapped his hands hard on the table. Rick instinctively tightened his grip on the gun, but he didn't draw it.

"I brought whiskey." The Governor said, grinning. He chuckled and stood to retrieve it and Rick stared at the table-top, knowing in his bones that no matter how this went, he'd do whatever it took to get back to Ava and his family. No matter what.


	126. Arrow in the doorpost: Part 2

_Authors note: Okay, so this episode is EXTREMELY long! I'm going to try and finish it off sometime in the week so I can start episode 14 next Monday, but it depends on time since I have assignments due next week. Hopefully you'll enjoy this update though! Thank you so much for reading!_

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S3E13P2

Ava managed to get quite a bit done around the prison before the babies woke. She'd been outside when they had and Michonne had come to get her, Beth with them when she arrived. After a feed and a change, Ava sat on her and Ricks' bed, the babies laid out before her and wriggling as she cooed at them.

"I think Amy's going to look like you." Carl said as he came in, looking down at them. He grumbled as Ava wrapped an arm around him and pulled him onto the bed. "Getoff."

Ava chuckled, tickling Aidan's belly as Carl settled next to her. The twins were dressed in dinosaur onesie's, one dark blue, one light blue, and they looked adorable. Ava felt the unexplainable urge to dress them up in all manner of outfits and only refrained from doing so because they didn't have many. Despite everything, the excitement of being a mum and all the joys that came with it, were settling in.

She had both expected and not expected to feel so different after the birth. It was strange. Part of her thought the change would be insurmountable while the other wondered why she felt different to how she had when they'd been in her stomach. She supposed seeing them as a separate entity to herself made the fact that she had children all the more real.

"How are you feeling?" Ava said, turning to Carl. He tore his eyes from the babies and looked glum.

"Okay, I guess." He shrugged.

"You know, it's okay not to be alright. You lost your mother and you've been so brave about it, but you can let go. No one would blame you or think any less of you for it."

"I know that." Carl said, almost indignantly.

"Then why…I suppose you can grieve in your own way. Maybe I've just seen you and assumed you've been hiding it. You could have been dealing with it in your own way?"

Carl didn't say anything, looking down at the babies again. Aidan was looking at Carl, blinking sleepily.

"Well, either way, I just wanted you to know that I'm here if you need me. Everyone here will be there for you. Your father is there, even though he has a lot to deal with. If you need to talk or cry or just want company, you can do that with me and I'll be happy to help you."

Carl continued to stare at the twins, but he nodded slightly. Ava rubbed his arm and gave him a tight side-hug. They sat like that for a while, but Ava was drawn from cooing at her children by the heavy footfalls that came towards them. Carol ducked into the cell.

"What is it?" Ava said, already alert, hand hovering near her gun.

"It's Jeff. He's awake."

Ava left Carol to watch the babies and headed towards Jeff's cell. She made Carl wait with Carol. He argued, but Ava insisted that she needed to make sure he was okay before he got bombarded with long lost family. Carl was reluctant, but he could wait a few more minutes, so he stayed with Carol, Aidan and Amelia.

Michonne was leaning in the doorway of Jeffs' cell and looked up as Ava approached.

"How is he?"

"Carol checked him over. He seems okay, no fever and heart-rate is strong."

Ava nodded.

"Good. What does he know?"

Michonne shrugged.

"Not much. Claudia is with him, but I don't think she's said anything."

Ava nodded again and ducked into the cell. The early afternoon light dimly lit the cell but Ava could make out Ricks' brother on the bottom bunk. He was on his back, blinking blearily as he looked around. Claudia was crouched beside him and looked up when Ava came in. She'd removed a good amount of her armour, revealing a heavily stained tank-top and dirt smeared arms. They both looked at Ava as she came in.

"You can wash up, if you want." She said to Claudia. "It's a little rudimentary, but we have a basin in the shower room. Cold, but what's new there." She chuckled lightly.

Claudia exchanged a look with Jeff, who eyed Ava warily. God, his eyes were just like Ricks', just like the twins. Ava was beginning to think they'd both have his bright blues.

"Claudia, do you really think we're going to hurt him after using most of our antibiotics saving him?" Not to mention the fact that he's related to the leader of our group. Ava didn't say it out loud, but the look she gave Claudia said enough. The woman shrugged and patted Jeff on his sore arm. He winced and watched her incredulously as she moved past Ava and Michonne. Ava heard her say she'd show Claudia the way to the washroom.

Jeff watched Ava as she came to his side. She sat on the side of his bed and he shifted an inch away from her. She rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't lying when I said we used nearly all our antibiotics on you. Relax. You're safe here."

"You'll understand if I don't believe you."

Ava met his distrusting gaze and found herself looking for more hints of Rick in his face. He was there in the way his lips pinched when he was wary, there in the confused lines of his forehead. Ava felt a thrill of love as she thought of doing the same with her children some day. Ava smiled.

"How are you feeling?"

Jeff wriggled experimentally under the covers.

"Groggy."

Ava chuckled.

"I meant more your injury, but groggy is better than in pain, I suppose."

Jeff smiled wryly, still watching her with wary eyes.

"Yeah, no pain. My shoulder aches like I've had a million injections, but it doesn't…hurt."

"Good." Ava said, pressing her hand to his head. "And no fever. Hershel said so long as you didn't get an infection, you'd be fine."

"Hershel?"

"He's the closest thing with have to a doctor, and father to two of our group."

Jeff cringed away from Ava's hands as she went to lift up his bandage. His eyes flickered to the door of the cell.

"Where's he? Shouldn't he be doing this?"

Ava smiled, trying to be reassuring.

"I've changed your bandages twice already, you can trust me. Besides, Hershel isn't here right now."

"Where is he?"

Ava didn't answer, lifting the bandages again and peering underneath.

"I think you're okay for now. Good news for you, he might be back by the time you do need them changed."

There was a knock on the door frame and Ava turned to see Beth smiling tentatively at them. Jeff looked past Ava and perked a little at the sight of her – or it could have been the sight of food.

"This is Beth, one of Hershels' daughters."

"Jeff." Jeff said, watching her as she put the tray on the floor beside him.

"Though you could do with some food." She said, smiling shyly. "Daddy said to go easy, so it's only watered-down soup."

Ava nodded and the two of them helped Jeff sit, propping him up with pillows. When he was settled Beth put the tray on his lap and went to leave the cell.

"Bye." Jeff said, and Beth gave him a small smile as she left. He then started eating, watching Ava as he did as if he didn't know why she was still there. Ava sighed, shaking her head.

"I suppose I could wait until they're back to tell you this, but maybe it's better I let it sink in than spring on the surprise when you're in a delicate state."

Jeff looked confused as he paused mid-swallow, and seemed to drift between asking what she was on about and being affronted at her description of him being in a 'delicate state'. She waited for him to choose.

"What are you talking about?" He said, still shovelling in food. Ava sighed.

"Well, I guess there's no way of beating around the bush here." She said, waiting until he'd swallowed a mouthful before saying anything else. "You've found your brother."

Ava was glad she waited until his mouth was empty, because the face he made suggested he would have spit everything out if not.

"Rick? Rick's here?" he said, his voice soft and incredulous.

"Yes. Well, not right now. He left with Hershel and some others in our group."

Jeff blinked, eyes wide and staring past her as he took in the information. Then his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"How do I know you're telling me the truth?"

Ava rolled her eyes.

"God, you're just like Rick."

He frowned, but she didn't elaborate.

"How would we know his name if it wasn't true?"

"I told Claudia. She could have told you."

"Why would she?" Ava countered, but knowing he was as suspicious as Rick, she sighed and started listing facts. "Rick was the Sheriff in Kings' County, he was shot in the line of duty and ended up in a coma. His best friend was Shane, who was also a police officer. He had a wife called Lori and a son called Carl. He's protective of those he loves and will do anything to protect his family. He's a good man. He's too hard on himself about most things and I know he feels guilty about whatever you two argued about even though he won't talk about it."

"Okay, I get it." Jeff said, still looking shocked as the words sunk in. "Ricks' really here?"

Ava nodded.

"At least, he will be when the others get back."

Jeff smiled, the first genuine smile she'd seen from him and the only facial expression that didn't resemble Rick. They both smiled with their whole faces, but Jeff's was more boyish. Ricks' was dazzling. Or maybe she was biased.

"What about Lori? And Carl?"

Ava's smile fell a little and Jeff noticed, his grin dribbling away. Ava took his hand.

"Carl's okay." She quickly said. "Shane got Lori and Carl to safety at the start. Rick woke up from the coma a month into the apocalypse – he actually found me before he found them – but they were all together for a while."

She swallowed before diving into the hard stuff. She erred between thinking Rick would rather she told Jeff, and thinking Rick would rather tell Jeff himself. She'd stick to the basics and let Rick fill in the details later.

"Things happened from there. Shane, well… Everyone had to change with the end of the world. I did, Rick did, I'm sure you have, too."

Jeff nodded, looking down.

"Shane didn't change well. He became volatile and… well, long story short, Rick had to kill him."

Jeff's eyes widened when she said that and Ava shrugged.

"Like I said, we've all had to change for the apocalypse. There's more to it than that, but I feel I should talk to Rick about it before I say anything. He might want to tell you himself. I don't know."

Ava sighed.

"Anyway, Lori…Well, he and Lori weren't together for a long time but unfortunately she died a few days ago from a gunshot."

"A few days?" Jeff said, looking distraught. Ava squeezed his hand.

"I'm sorry. Our group's had some trouble with outsiders. That's what Rick's dealing with right now. Hopefully they'll come to an arrangement."

Jeff eyed her face and pursed his lips.

"You don't think they will, do you?"

Ava rolled her eyes.

"I really need to work on hiding my emotions – or maybe it's just Grimes' who can always tell what I'm thinking."

Jeff cracked a smile, but he seemed to be eyeing her more intensely, as if he suspected there was something more between her and his brother. She wasn't exactly trying to hide it.

Ava heard the snuffles of her children before there was another knock at the door. Carol had both of them in her arms, but it was Carl who knocked. He stared at Jeff in shock.

"They were fussing, and I figured you'd had enough time." Carol said, looking down at Carl as he beamed at his Uncle and ran over to him.

"Carl?" Jeff said, wrapping his uninjured arm around the boy as he started sobbing. Jeff laughed incredulously, eyes glistening with tears as he cradled his nephew. Ava beamed at the two, reaching up as Carol slid first Amelia and then Aidan into her arms. They immediately settled from their discontented snuffling and fell asleep with their faces pressed against her chest. Ava rocked them gently as Carl pulled back from the hug, perching on the bed beside Jeff and wiping his eyes. He smiled at Ava.

"Damn." Jeff said, also wiping tears from his eyes, but now looking at the babies. "I didn't think I'd ever see one baby again, let alone two."

Ava smiled.

"This is Aidan," She said, gesturing to the baby in the darker blue onesie. "And this is Amelia, or Amy." She finished, gesturing to the other. Jeff smiled at them.

"Look at their little faces. They're so cute." He said, giggling in the way people did when they saw something incredibly adorable. Carl smiled too, his attention drawn to the twins again.

"Can you believe it Uncle Jeff? Now you have a niece as well as another nephew."

"Huh?" Jeff said, distracted. Then he frowned, seeming to register what Carl had said. He turned to his nephew. "Wait, what?"

"Amy and Aidan are my brother and sister. Half brother and sister, but…" He shrugged.

"But we don't really count that." Ava said, looking at Jeff and shrugging. He stared at her in shock. "Guess there's no need for Rick to tell you now, but Rick and I, well, we're together. And the twins are our children."

Jeff stared at Ava, blinked, swallowed, and blinked some more. He then turned to Carl as if he could explain further.

"Mum didn't mind." Was what he came up with. "She told me she was looking forward to helping with the babies."

Carl looked down, eyes tearing up again, and Ava's heart clenched in sadness at that. It truly seemed Lori had changed in the months they were apart. Ava wished they'd had the chance to become friends, but there was no point dwelling on the past they couldn't change. Jeff continued to look bemused. Ava said nothing, knowing there was little to be said that would make the situation less surprising. They just sat there and let the information sink in.

Rick slouched in his chair, giving an air of nonchalance whilst keenly watching the Governor and his every move. The Governor seemed totally at ease.

"I care about my people," He said. "And I don't take their deaths lightly, and I know you don't either. In a way, this fight, it's a failure of leadership."

"Then leave us alone." Rick said. The Governor pulled a face.

"Well, now, that would be an even bigger failure." Rick watched in silence as he took a swig of his whiskey. Rick hadn't touched his. "You've moved into our backyard. You shot up Main Street. If I let that threat persist, I look weak and, well, the whole thing crumbles."

Rick shrugged.

"Well, that's your problem. A good leader would have anticipated someone coming for the people you'd kidnapped."

The Governor leaned back, his expression amused.

"Is that what you did when you told Ben and Allen to go? It doesn't seem to me that you anticipated much in regards to them."

Rick froze. At first, the names confused him, niggled in his memory. So much had happened in the last few days that he had almost forgotten the two who had joined Tyreese and Sasha. And as the Governor spoke, Rick knew he had been stupid to let them go. An easy fix, get them to leave and everything would run smoothly in the prison – or smooth enough. He was so wrapped up in sorting out other problems that he hadn't considered what the outsiders might tell whoever they came across.

"They didn't want to fight." Rick said stiffly.

"No," The Governor said, pointing at him. "They didn't want to fight with you. The losing side. They were smart to make the switch. Shame their friends didn't have the same idea. What were their names? Tyreese and Sasha?"

Rick clenched his jaw but said nothing. He was so stupid for letting them go. He should have tied them up somewhere until all this was dealt with. What had they told him? How much did they know?

The Governor stared and stared, but still Rick said nothing.

"If we choose to destroy everything we've fought for over the past year," The Governor said. "We're gonna kill everyone we know."

Rick felt the muscles in his neck and jaw tighten as he glared at the Governor, a man so willing to destroy everyone he loved. Ava and the twins, Carl, everyone in the group – even now his brother.

"At your prison," He continued. "Back in Woodbury. People we love, Rick."

Rick looked away, contemplating killing the Governor right there and then. But what would happen to Daryl, Hershel and Andrea outside. Then the Governor started talking again.

"I was at work one day taking shit from a boss half my age and an IQ even lower." He said, swilling his glass. "And the phone rang. My wife had been in an accident. 'Sorry, Mr. Blake, we did everything we could.' I sat there holding that phone, knowing that I would never see her again. Gone. It was just an accident. No one's fault. She left a voicemail asking me to call her, but I hadn't had the chance yet. I sat there clutching that phone thinking, 'What did she want?' Just to check in? Ask me to pick up something for dinner?"

He braced his elbows on the table and shook his head.

"What did she want?"

Rick took a deep breath as he looked away from the Governor. He had no doubt that this was some ploy designed to make Rick feel sorry for him, but the pain in his eyes had been real. He hadn't made that up. So Rick leaned forward and picked up the glass, not because he believed him or felt sorry for him, but because everyone – good and bad – had been through shit that made the world seem worthless, life seem meaningless.

Neither man looked at each other as Rick downed his pour of whiskey.

After the initial shock of finding out Ava was now with Rick and that they'd had twins together, Jeff was overjoyed at the prospect of being an uncle twice more. The four of them – Carl, Amy, Aidan and Jeff – sat in that cell for almost an hour. That hour was interrupted not by the twins fussing for food – on the contrary, they seemed entirely content with shifting between sleep and half-wakefulness – but by a commotion where Tyreese's group had been held.

Ava exchanged a glance with Carl, Jeff looking up, confused, before stepping to the doorway and looking out. It sounded like Glenn. And Merle, of course. Ava rolled her eyes.

"Beth, Sasha." Ava said, catching their eyes as they too looked in the direction of the shouting. "Can one of you keep an eye on the babies? They're on the bed with Jeff."

"Sure." Beth said, ducking inside as Carl came out. Sasha was at her side as they stepped out of the cell block.

Ava seethed as she saw Glenn on the ground, Merle on top of him with his blade to his head. Maggie had jumped on Merle's back and Michonne ran forward, pulling back Merle's knife hand.

"What the holy hell is going on in here!" Ava yelled, glaring at Merle. Her gun was already in her hand as she stalked around the table towards them. Sasha and Carl followed, also with their weapons drawn.

Merle glared at her and shook.

"Let me go!" He said, eventually getting Michonne and Maggie to back off. Glenn was panting beneath him, or seething, more like. "What are you gonna do, Posh? Gonna shoot me?"

"I just might." Ava said, gritting her teeth. "You're a stupid, reckless sonovabitch and a bullet to the leg might just keep you in line."

Ava kicked at his bladed hand and he jerked back, still glaring. She crouched in front of him and grabbed his chin. It took a few tries but eventually he stopped jerking away, probably because she dug her nails in.

"I get that you're worried about Daryl, but he can look after himself. You think I'm not worried about them too? For fucks sake, the last time Rick went to deal with an enemy it took us seven months to find each other again. I'm fucking terrified!" Ava took a deep breath and sighed, letting go of his chin. "If you really want to help Daryl, stop trying to take control. I know that's not easy for you, but it's your only option. Otherwise, you're going to get us all killed."

Merle stared at her for a moment, then jerked to his feet. Ava stood and sighed as he stormed off, then looked to Glenn and the others.

"You guys okay?"

They all nodded.

"Thanks, Ava." Glenn said, giving her a sheepish smile. She smiled back and returned to the cell with the others.

"What was that about?" Jeff asked, turning away from a conversation with Beth.

"You don't want to know." Ava sighed.

There was a moment of silence between the two leaders, one in which Rick tried to figure out the best plan of action. Again, his mind wandered to killing the Governor there and then, but always there was the thought of the others outside and what might happen to them. He'd never forgive himself if he did something that got them killed.

"You know," The Governor said, standing and wandering away from the table. "The truth is I didn't want any of this. They chose me because there was nobody else around. And they still think I'm the man to keep them safe. They still think I know what I'm doing."

The Governor turned, moving to his hung-up gun belt and returning it to his waist. Rick watched the action carefully, but didn't move.

"I know you got guns." The Governor said. "That was quite a stash you brought back the other day. Now, my people are not combat tested like yours are, but I've got more of them. So this fight, it will go down to the last man."

Rick shook his head, knowing it had been delusional to think they'd ever come to an arrangement. He glared at the Governor.

"So let's end it." The Governor said. "Today. Let's not do this. We can walk away."

Rick shifted, trying to hide his surprise.

"You have something that I want." He said. "One thing that makes this all alright."

Please God don't let it be Ava or the babies.

"I'm not giving up the prison." Rick said, swallowing hard. The Governor chuckled and returned to his seat.

"No. No, I don't want your prison. That doesn't sound safe at all. I mean, you how many people there?"

Rick swallowed again.

"We're not moving on."

"What good would that do me?" The Governor said. "Best you stay where I can keep my one good eye on you."

Rick stared, waiting, and watched in confusion as the Governor removed his eye patch. The wound was an ugly one, but Rick had seen so much gore and gross stuff over the past year and a half that he didn't even flinch.

"I want Michonne."

Rick felt ashamed by the overwhelming relief he felt knowing the Governor didn't want Ava, but knew there was no chance in hell that she would go along with giving up Michonne. And Rick didn't want to either, not after she had saved Ava and Andrea right from the start. So what did he do? What could he do?

"Turn her over and this all goes away." The Governor continued. "Is she worth it? One woman worth all those lives at the prison? Worth Ava? Worth your son and the twins?" He leaned forward, staring deep into Ricks' eyes. "Is she?"


	127. Arrow in the doorpost: Part 3

_Finally got this episode done!_

S3E13P3

Rick sat in silence for a few moments, considering his reply to such an offer. He already knew it wasn't an option, but the Governors' clear disdain of the woman intrigued him. He supposed it was because she took his eye, but the storm in the remaining eye said there was more to the vendetta.

"Yeah, I don't get it." He said, turning to the Governor. "You've obviously got big plans. Like you're the guy who's gonna lick this thing. Bring us back from the brink. So why waste your time on a two-bit vendetta?"

The Governor just started at Rick.

"Why risk it all? You could have a statue of yourself in the town square, Governor. Killing Michonne is sort of beneath you, don't you think?"

He didn't rise to the condescending tone with which Rick had spoken. In fact, he barely moved an inch as he answered.

"You could save your son, your twins. Save your girl. Everyone you know. It's your choice."

Rick took a moment, avoiding his gaze. Giving up Michonne? He knew it wasn't even an option, but hearing him say they'd be safe…It made it difficult not to consider, like the temptation of something too good to be true. He swallowed hard.

"If I give you Michonne, how do I know you'll keep your word, that you'll stop?"

The Governor put Ricks map on the table.

"I told you, I don't care about you. You can have everything you want. You think about it."

Rick swallowed, hard.

"Two days." The Governor said, and gone was his charm and charismatic smile. Rick could see the emotionless monster beneath. "I'll be here at noon."

Then he stood and strode out of the barn. After a moment, in which Rick rubbed his head, he followed. They all wordlessly got into their vehicles. Andrea waved at Milton and glared at the Governor as they went their separate ways.

There'd never been a more heavenly sound than that of the engines rolling up to the prison. Maggie and Glenn had been on watch and told her they were coming. She ran, leaving the twins to sleep in their cots, and waited in the courtyard as they rumbled on up.

Carl and Carol opened the gates to let them into the courtyard and as soon as the car stopped, Rick got out. Ava's heart skipped a beat and a wave of relief crashed over her. He stood at the door for a moment, looking out across the prison with a distant expression, before he spotted her.

They met halfway, leisurely steps ending with a tight hug. Ava didn't ever want to let go, to ever see him leave again, but she knew she'd have to. For now, she'd relish in having him back.

They said nothing for a moment, pulling away as Carl came running over.

"Are you okay?" Ava had time to ask before the boy crashed into his fathers' side. Rick nodded stiffly, which told her the truth, and they headed towards the prison. Ava gave Andrea, Hershel and Daryl a hug (the latter reluctantly) before they all filed into the cell block.

"How did it go? Did you come to an arrangement?" Carol asked.

"I don't know. We weren't allowed in." Andrea said, going over to stand by Michonne's side. Michonne looked like she already knew the answer to the question. Rick sighed.

"Rick?"

It was Jeff. He leaned on his doorway and stared in shock at his brother. Ricks' weary expression softened as he saw his brother awake and well. He moved towards him and crushed him into a hug, careful not to squeeze too hard where the bullet wound was. There was silence as they two brothers' reunited and Ava smiled at the sight, ignoring the twinge of pain she felt upon seeing it. She thought of Luke and Hailey again and wondered where they were, if they were even alive. Before she could go too far down that path, she moved to Carls' side and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I thought you were dead." Jeff said as they pulled apart. "When I heard you'd been shot I wanted to come back but then I'd have failed the course and Lori said she'd keep me updated and I…"

"Jeff, relax." Rick said, patting his brother on the uninjured shoulder. "I'm just glad you're okay."

Jeff smiled in relief and still looked at Rick as if he couldn't believe he'd found him.

"I bet you've got questions for me." Rick said.

"Yeah," Jeff said, eyes flickering to Ava. "A few."

"And I've got questions for you. We'll talk later, but for now I gotta tell everyone what happened today."

Jeff frowned.

"With the bad guy, right?"

Rick chuckled but nodded, turning back to the room. Ava frowned when he quickly pulled his eyes from her, focusing instead on those who had amassed in the cell block. Ava noticed even Claudia was there, in new clothes someone must have given her. She looked simultaneously alert and intrigued.

"So," Rick started. "I met this Governor. Sat with him for quite a while."

"Just the two of you?" Merle asked.

Ava frowned at Rick, seeing the distant look in his eyes again. Alone with the Governor. She guessed he had seen what she, Michonne and Andrea had: that he was psychotic.

"Yeah." Rick said.

Merle turned away, moving to the back of the group but passing Ava, Glenn and Maggie as he did.

"Should have gone when we had the chance, bro." he said to Glenn. Ava glared at him over her shoulder and he met her eye, giving her a steely look. She swallowed hard, seeing Michonne and Andrea as they headed over to Ava, almost appearing to flank her.

"He wants the prison." Rick said, ignoring the exchange. "He wants us gone. Dead. He wants us dead for what we did to Woodbury."

He met Ava's gaze for a moment and she tried not to let the fear show. Her grip on Carls' shoulders tightened, and when Ricks' gaze moved on she glanced at their cell, where the twins slept oblivious.

There was silence for a moment more as Rick seemed to struggle to get out the words, then:

"We're going to war."

Ava wasn't as struck by the words as she had thought she'd be. She turned to Andrea and Michonne, the three sharing a mutually determined look, and Rick marched past the group, patting his wide-eyed brother on the shoulder before disappearing into the coming night.

They all looked at one another, the whole group scared by the prospect of war, but Ava found in the eyes of her family strength and resilience. They wouldn't shy away from war. They were survivors. It's what they did best.

When Hershel went to see Rick, Ava went with him. They found him on the walkway overlooking the courtyard. He smiled at her, if a little sadly, and they both came to his side. In the brief silence, Ava took his hand and he squeezed it back in thanks.

"The group's taking it as well as can be expected." Hershel said. "Merle and Michonne are convinced we should hit first. Carol and I think we should take our chances on the road."

Rick sighed at that, as did Ava. Even if it was for selfish reasons, she was not going to abandon the prison with her young children in tow.

"We're in this together." Hershel said before either of them could interrupt. "So if we stay and fight, so be it."

Rick nodded at the old man, then turned back to the courtyard. They waited, and eventually he turned back, sighing.

"He gave me a choice. A way out."

"What does he want?" Hershel said.

"Michonne."

Ava closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Bastard." She muttered.

"He'd kill her." Hershel said.

"I know." Rick said.

"And then kill us anyway."

Ava looked up at Rick and frowned, squeezing his hand sharply.

"You're not considering this are you?"

"Of course not." Rick said, turning his back on the courtyard and leaning on the fence. He dropped her hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Cause of course he isn't going to let us live. He's a sick, psychotic man who knows where we live and for some reason or another he's obsessed with having Michonne."

Ava bit her lip and folded her arms.

"Michonne told me earlier what happened that day. The Governor had a daughter, but she was a walker. Michonne put her out of her misery, but…"

"The Governor doesn't see it that way." Hershel finished. Ava nodded and Rick shook his head.

"He thinks she killed his daughter."

"She did." They both stared at Hershel, who shrugged. "In a way."

There was a moment of silence as they let this information sink in, then Ava joined Rick in leaning against the fence, her shoulder pressed to his.

"So what do we do now?" She asked.

"What I said in the cell block stands." Rick said, looking down at her. "We're going to war The logistics of that can be worked on tomorrow. No one can know about Michonne. There are…some people here I don't trust not to take matters into their own hands."

Hershel nodded, and smiled at Ava as he moved to leave, knowing they needed some privacy. She helped him with the door and as it closed she turned back to Rick, who looked at her with a genuine smile and warmth in his eyes. There was her Rick. She grinned back as she moved over to him and he wrapped his arms around her middle as she buried her head in the crook of his neck.

"God," She said, pulling back enough to look him in the eye. "Having you gone again was so much harder than I'd thought it would be. I know you went away before, but knowing it was to go and see someone so…" She shivered. "I was just so scared."

Rick cupped her cheek and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Nothing is going to keep me from you again." He said, his warm breath tickling her face. "I'd do whatever it takes to get back to you."

Ava smiled and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

"Same." She said, and when he leaned in for another kiss, she pressed a finger to them instead, cocking a brow at his confusion. "First things first. What was with the shiftiness earlier?"

His frown deepened.

"What?"

"After hugging Jeff, you immediately avoided my eye. I just want to know what's up?"

Rick sighed and looked away, but Ava cupped his cheek and drew him back, waiting. Eventually he rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"I think you're the most stubborn woman I've ever met."

"And you're the most stubborn man I've ever met." Then she frowned. "Except, perhaps, Merle."

Rick chuckled again.

"Oh, so you two'd be perfect for each other?"

Ava snorted.

"Not a chance in hell. He's stubbornly for everything I'm stubbornly against."

Rick laughed and managed to get in a few kisses before Ava pulled away, reprimanding him with her cocked brow.

"You still didn't answer my question."

His smile was subdued, but it didn't fade away as he ran a hand down her arm. Then he nodded.

"You're gonna think I'm stupid."

"I doubt that. You are anything but stupid, Rick Grimes."

He snorted again.

"Tell that to Allen and Ben. They ended up with the Governor, probably told them everything they knew about us. It was stupid to let them go. I should have kept them locked up somewhere."

Ava took that in, then laughed as she shook her head.

"Okay, yeah, that's a problem. But you're not stupid for not thinking of imprisoning people who wanted nothing to do with our fight."

Rick didn't look convinced, but nodded.

"Now tell me what earlier was about." Ava said.

"Seeing Jeff back there, alive and well, it was one of the happiest moments of my life." Rick said, his thumb gently massaging circles into her arm.

"Why'd you avoid my eye because of that?" Ava said, frowning.

"Because another one of my happiest moments was when I found Carl and Lori. And when I found you, of course."

Ava was beginning to see where this was going and rested her hands on his chest.

"Anyone I've set out to find, I've found. My wife and son, then you, then Jeff. And I wasn't even trying to find Jeff. He just turned up. But you haven't found any of your family. I avoided your eye because I saw in that split second the pain you felt. You were thinking of Luke and Hailey, weren't you?"

Ava nodded.

"I could see that. And seeing you pained by what made me happy?...I just couldn't look at you for the guilt I felt."

"But it's not your fault I haven't found them." Ava protested.

"Isn't it? If you'd never found me, you'd have never got tied into this group. You could have kept searching-"

Rick stopped when she whacked a hand on his arm, staring up at the infuriating man with frustration and love.

"If I had the chance to go back to that day, to remember to duck behind that car in time, do you honestly think I'd do it?"

Rick smiled.

"No, I don't. But you might have found your family."

"Instead I found a new family and started one of my own. I will always miss them and always search for them, but I have never regretted a moment of the time we've had together. Yes, seeing you and Jeff reminded me of them, but for all the sadness your saw on my face, there was also joy. I don't think about them unless prompted to, and they're happy memories."

Ava cupped Ricks' face in both hands.

"You are my family. This group is my family. And one day, maybe my brother and sister will join this family."

This time when Rick pressed his lips to hers, she didn't pull away. They kissed against the fence of the walkway and by the time they were breathless and red-faced, Ava felt like hours must have passed, but the sun had barely budged in its nightly descent.

"We should go back inside." Ava said, smiling contentedly. "You need to say hello to your babies and Jeff will have some questions."

"Does he know about Amy and Aidan?" Rick asked, taking her hand as they headed for the door. Ava chuckled.

"One of the first things Carl told him was that he was an Uncle again. He did look rather surprised."

Rick groaned.

"That'll be fun to explain."

Ava nodded.

"I did tell him a few things, but stayed pretty vague. I didn't know how much you'd want to tell him yourself." She didn't elaborate on what things, but Rick knew what she was talking about.

"Thank you." Rick said, squeezing her hand. "For everything."

They stopped just before the cell block, in their final moment of solitude. Ava kissed him deeply and ran her fingers through his hair as she pulled away, smiling.

"You're welcome."


	128. Prey

_Authors note: Sorry this one is short guys but this episode was pretty much null and void considering where I've taken the story :) now it's basically just filler, but I thought you'd appreciate some Rick and Ava time. And of course, Ava getting to know Jeff a bit. Only 2 episodes left of this season :0 hope you enjoy x_

* * *

S3E14

Ava didn't know how long Rick spoke with his brother. She fell asleep almost as soon as she lay in bed and when the twins woke her hours later, Rick was still not there. By the time they woke a second time, he was the one who got up for them.

The lack of sleep was beginning to get to Ava. Her energy levels were up and down all day and there were times when she completely zoned out, almost falling asleep on the spot. It meant people had to tell her things twice, as she only barely heard it.

The day was spent on edge, tense as people began to work on the siege that was sure to come. Ava tried to ward off the questions people had, about whether they would attack first or wait. Personally, she felt there was a great advantage in staying put, using the maze of the prison to their advantage, but then there was always the possibility of the Governor bringing more weaponry than they could handle. What would he plan? He was a sadistic bastard, so God – or, she supposed, the Devil – only knew what he was thinking.

"Ava?"

She blinked.

"What?"

Andrea shook her head, a smile playing at her lips.

"I was asking about the field, about what our plan was regarding it? Should we leave it filled or try and empty it?"

"Oh," Ava rubbed her head, trying to dislodge the funk of exhaustion. "We should leave it as is. The Governor would only crash it in again anyway and it gives a layer of defence. Sort of."

Andrea nodded.

"That's what I was thinking." She put a hand on Ava's shoulder. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just tired. And obviously there's a lot going on right now."

"Amen to that." Andrea muttered, giving her shoulder a squeeze before returning to the cell block. Ava looked out across the field, eyeing the tree line and the dead milling about. She raked her fingers through her hair and found herself wondering what life would be like for Aidan and Amelia. If they survived the Governor, they could reclaim the field, reinforce the fences and grow crops inside. Having fresh fruit and veg would be great, especially when the twins started on solids. They'd need all the nutrients and vitamins they could get.

One thing she'd thought of in the early days at the prison was painting the walls. There was little you could do it hide the fact that they were living in a prison, but the cold grey walls could at least be brightened with a little paint – especially in the cells themselves. She'd had images of a sunny yellow for the twins, when they went to their own room. Remove the bunks and liven things up a bit with cushions and throws.

Ava chuckled to herself.

"What's so funny?"

Ava looked up as Jeff exited the guard tower, the one Rick was currently patrolling from. He was wearing one of Ricks' shirts now and looked a lot better than he had when they'd first met. Ava smiled.

"Nothing. Just my mind somehow going to home décor as we're days away from a war."

Jeff snorted.

"Yeah, not exactly the priority."

Ava turned to him.

"How are you doing?"

"Good." He said, smiling awkwardly. "My arm barely hurts now."

"Good, but I meant more with the situation here, with being drawn into our fight."

"Rick's my brother. His fight is my fight."

Ava nodded.

"Trust me, I get that. But it can't be easy for you. This psycho wants to kill us all."

Jeff teetered for a minute, as if considering ending the conversation and going inside, but instead he came over to Ava and joined her at the fence.

"Rick told me everything. About Lori and Shane, what happened between you two. More importantly, he told me what happened between you and the Governor." He looked down at her. "At least, as much as he knows."

Ava met his gaze.

"He wants to know more?"

"I get the feeling he wants to know every little thing that happened when you two were apart, but he doesn't want to bring up bad memories."

Ava sighed, smiling softly as her eyes found Rick on the balcony above. He wasn't looking at them, but she was sure he knew they were talking.

"That sounds like him." She said, then she blinked and turned back to Jeff. "Look, I get this can be awkward, what with Rick only ever having been with Lori before me, but I hope you don't think I broke them up or anything."

"I don't think that." Jeff said, shrugging. "Shit happens in life. Lori was my best friend at college. It's how they met. I was thrilled when they got together cause it meant she'd always be in my life."

Ava looked down, swallowing as the sadness crept into his voice.

"But when Rick was talking about you last night I could tell he loves you more than anything. I never really believed in soul mates, but I thought there was one person out there who was your ultimate partner. You could end up happily married to someone else, like Rick did with Lori, but that love petered out. When I see you two together I just know you'll be together forever."

Ava smiled at that, chuckling lightly.

"You're a sappy one, aren't you?"

Jeff chuckled.

"I suppose I am."

Ava looked at him a moment, then pulled him into a tight hug which he awkwardly returned. When they pulled away, she squeezed his shoulder.

"I'm glad you found us."

Jeff smiled.

"So am I."

With that, Ava started heading towards the guard tower and as she reached its door, Jeff called to her.

"What?" She said, turning.

"You know, if I can find Rick all the way from Mexico, there's gotta be a chance that your family can find you too."

Ava's heart clenched.

"I hope so." She said, heading into the guard tower and making the climb to the balcony. Rick smiled at her as she came in.

"Good talk?"

Ava rolled her eyes.

"I knew you were watching."

Rick shrugged.

"I'm surveying the area. You just happened to be in it."

Ava shook her head, fighting a smile as she came to his side. She sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder. He leaned down a planted a kiss on her head.

"Do you ever wonder if life will be normal again?" She asked.

"Honestly? If life's ever gonna be like it was before, it won't be in our lifetime." Rick said.

Ava knew he was right. Even if they did manage to set up some kind of civilisation, getting things back to the way they were would take much longer than they had left on earth – and that was assuming old age would be their cause of death.

"Okay, so not that normal." Ava said. "But some kind of normal. A day to day that doesn't involve fighting for our lives. One where we can enjoy the company of our friends, appreciate a sunny day and play with our children for more than half an hour at a time."

Rick thought for a moment, his steady breathing a comfort that almost lulled Ava to sleep.

"I think it's possible." He said eventually, looking down at her. "We're survivors, now and always, but we're people too. With the Governor gone, we can make this place a home."

Ava hesitated in voicing her further concerns, decided against it, and turned to wrap her arms around his middle. He lowered his gun and held her back. He didn't need to hear what she'd told him once before: that there was always something else, some problem getting in the way of life. She just had to hope things would get better.

"Sometimes it just feels hopeless, you know?" Ava said. "Like it's an uphill struggle and the hill never ends."

"I know how you feel, but you can't let it get you down. Think of our group, our family. They're counting on us to protect them and we do the same with them. We survive because giving up is not an option. Because there's always hope."

Ava smiled and kissed him, enjoying the sensation of being in his arms for that brief moment before she pulled away.

"I should check on the twins." She said, walking backwards, their hands staying together as long as they possibly could. When she reached the door, they dropped.

"You do that. I'll be in soon enough."

Ava smiled as she leaned on the door.

"I love you." She said, by way of goodbye.

"I love you too." Was Ricks' farewell as she descended the steps of the guard tower.


	129. This sorrowful life: Part 1

_Authors note: I'm SO SORRY it's been ages since I posted! I finished uni, moved out, stressed over final assignments and had a medical situation that made it difficult for me to get this episode done. This is the first half of the episode and I will try and finish it within the week. Sorry guys. Hope you like this chapter :)_

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S3E15

Ava rocked Amelia back and forth as the dead growled at them. She felt uneasy under their hungry eyes, which was an odd feeling to come to terms with. Standing with only a chain-link fence and some palettes between her daughter and the dead was nerve-wracking to say the least. She'd have to get over this soon – especially if they were forced out of the prison by the Governor.

"I thought you should know." Rick was saying, his voice hushed. Daryl frowned at Rick and Hershel, then gave Ava a questioning glance.

"Have you told Michonne?"

Ava shook her head.

"I will do when I can find her, but the less people who know about this the better."

"Then why're you telling me?" Daryl frowned at Rick.

"You're my second." Rick said. "You deserve to know. Keeping too many secrets will only cause friction among the group."

"With Tyreeses' group and now Claudia and Jeff…we need to be unified at all costs. The group will take some time to adjust to the newcomers. We haven't really had time to get to know these people because of everything that happened. We're clinging on out of necessity. People find out Ricks' holding onto things, they might get mad." Ava said. Amelia sniffed and Ava looked down, but her soft face was slack with sleep.

"Remember when Rick told us he'd always known we were infected?" Hershel said, giving Daryl a pointed look. The archer shrugged at that.

"So what do we do now?" He asked. Rick rubbed his head.

"We prepare for a fight. That's all we can do."

"I've been thinking about sectioning off an area of the prison." Ava said, an idea she'd already shared with Rick the night before. "Somewhere out of the way where we can put those more vulnerable." Like the twins, she didn't bother saying. Daryl nodded.

"Sounds like a plan. When the bullets start flying, them babies ain't gonna be anywhere near it."

Ava nodded to that. Amelia started fussing in her arms. Rick put his hand on her shoulder as she rocked the baby, but she didn't stop, working up more and more to a scream. Ava sighed.

"She's probably hungry." She said, giving Rick a quick kiss before heading inside to feed her children.

After eating, the twins dozed off again and Ava found herself restless. Beth offered to watch them and finding herself momentarily free of babies, she went outside to see if she could help the others. She got out in time to see Rick running to the gate, letting the truck back into the courtyard with Glenn, Michonne, Andrea and Daryl in the car.

"They try to drive up to the gate again, maybe some blown tires will stop them." Glenn said, and peering into the field beyond Ava could see the barbed wire from the fence tops glinting in the hot sun.

"That's a good idea." Rick said.

"It was Michonne's" Daryl added.

Ava smiled at her friend, who came to stand by her side.

"We don't have to win. We just have to make their getting at us more trouble than it's worth." She said.

"I for one love the idea of making it as damned difficult as I can." Andrea said, grinning at the prospect. Ava chuckled. Maggie and Carl came up from the walkway and Rick patted his son on the shoulder.

"You guys seen Jeff?" The boy asked.

"He was talking to Claudia last I saw." Ava said, gesturing back to the prison. Carl darted past and Ava ruffled his hair as he did. He stuck to his Uncle like glue these days. According to Rick, they'd gotten on like a house on fire before the end. This was also partly why they'd argued. Jeff was 30 now. He'd acted like a teenager his entire 20's. Rick thought giving him a hard time – a kick up the ass, so to speak – would make him grow up. Now he was glad he hadn't succeeded. Jeffs' goofy nature was a breath of fresh air in this bleak and sullen time. And he was great with the kids. And Beth.

"How're we doing for supplies?" Ava asked once Carl had gone inside.

Daryl shrugged.

"Could be better, but it ain't the priority."

"Maybe it should be."

"What do you mean?" Rick said, frowning.

"I mean if the Governor decides to starve us out do we want to have more or less time to plan a counter-attack?"

Andrea crossed her arms.

"She's got a point. Prisons' a fortress but it's also a prison. It'd be easy enough to trap us inside."

"Trapped like rats." Daryl growled. "Ain't no way I'm going out like that."

"We could use the hole Tyreeses' group got through as a way out." Glenn suggested.

"Where are Tyreese and Sasha, anyway?" Ava said.

"On watch." Maggie pointed to the guard towers, where Ava looked up and nodded to them. Sasha noticed and nodded back.

"Ava's right, though." Daryl said, tugging at the strap of his cross-bow. "Governor could easily find that hole if he circled the Prisons' perimeter. We should do a run."

"I'll go." Ava said, fixing her eyes on Rick as she said it. He stared at her for a minute.

"Are you sure?" He said.

"I can still be useful." Ava said. "I'll ask Carol to take over from Beth when she wants some time and I know Jeff will be with them. I can express milk for when they get hungry and, frankly, I'm going a little stir-crazy staying behind this walls."

He continued to stare at her but nodded, if a little reluctantly. Ava was glad he hadn't argued. There would have been stern words if he had.

"Michonne and I can go with her." Andrea said, as if sensing Ricks' discomfort.

"And me." Daryl said. "I could do with some time out of here."

Rick nodded at the group, knowing together they would be absolutely fine.

It only took them about half an hour to be ready. They didn't need much, just a few bottles of water and a modest arsenal. Ava was checking the truck, making sure they wouldn't get trapped with a dead engine, when Daryl came out with Merle in toe. She cocked a brow.

"Oh, hell no." Andrea groaned, leaning against the passenger side door.

"Relax, Blondie." He drawled. "We all just wanna get out of this place."

Michonne glared at him as they stopped by the car and Ava sighed. She wiped her greasy hands on a rag and pushed the hood down.

"What's going on?" She asked Daryl.

"Told Merle where I was going. He wanted to come with."

He didn't ask her if that was okay, but she could see the question in his face, his hope that she would make the decision that might start them all on the path to forgiveness. Ava narrowed her eyes at Merle, the man who'd almost executed her and her babies. He gave her a cheesy grin. She rolled her eyes.

"You sit in the front. By me. With Andrea and Michonne behind you so you can't be leaning forward to put a blade to anyones' necks."

"Come on, Posh. I would never."

"You did exactly that literally weeks ago." Ava said, putting her hands on her hips as she moved to look him dead in the eye. "You do as I say. You don't go happy-go-lucky like you did on the roof in Atlanta. You don't waste ammo or put anyone in danger. You stick with your brother, since he's pretty much the only one who can stand you."

"Pretty much, huh? That mean you can stand me a little bit?"

Ava resisted the urge to slap him on the back of the head and rolled her eyes instead. As she did, she noticed Rick coming out of a conversation with Tyreese and heading towards them.

"Just get in the car." She sighed, giving Andrea and Michonne a frustrated look before heading over to Rick. He frowned over her shoulder as Merle got into the car.

"You okay going with him?" Rick asked as they reached each other.

"He's an ass, but I don't think he's going to do anything now. Besides, I think Andreas' been spoiling for the chance to punch him."

Rick chuckled.

"Guess I shouldn't worry. You guys can handle yourselves."

"Yes we can." Ava said, smiling. She reached up and kissed him, a short but loving one, and tightly wrapped her arms around his neck. His arms squeezed her middle and she stroked his hair, grinning. When they pulled away she pressed a kiss to his cheek, then turned to the truck.

He watched them go, Daryl on his motorbike and Ava driving the truck, while Maggie and Carl banged their pots and pans in the walkway, moving the Walkers out of their path.

The plan was simple. The department store Maggie and Glenn had gone to had partially collapsed within. Shelving units had blocked their path to the back of the shop and with only two of them, it had been impossible to get past. With the five of them, Glenn thought they should be able to lift the shelves again and reach what they'd had to leave behind.

It felt weird being back there, remembering that the last time, Merle had captured Ava and dragged her back to Woodbury. It would have been even more surreal if Maggie and Glenn had come.

"Where was you the last time?" Merle asked. Clearly his mind was on their last visit as well. Ava rolled up her window and climbed out of the car in time to see Michonne glare at him. Merle rolled his eyes and caught Avas'.

"Maybe stop talking about the past, Merle. No one's going to get over it if it keeps getting mentioned."

He rolled his eyes again but there was less of the frustration behind it.

"Merle," Daryl said, approaching the group. "You're with me. We'll check round back."

Ava nodded.

"We'll head in and see about that blockage." She said, and the group split.

Michonne stood ready to attack as Andrea and Ava opened the doors. She went ahead, looking both ways and the others followed, flanking. Ava gripped her spear, one hand resting on her gun in case she needed it.

The store was dimly lit, the windows boarded up long ago. Sunlight filtered through the cracks but it was nowhere near enough to see by. Andrea pulled out a flashlight and clicked it on, Ava following. Michonne kept both hands on the sword and Ava wondered – as she had done many times in the past – whether Michonna could see in the dark. She certainly acted like she could.

They moved through the open space Maggie and Glenn had already cleared and found no one and none of the dead. Relaxing a little, Ava took her hand from the gun.

"Let's take a look at those shelves. Michonne, can you watch the front?"

Michonne nodded and Andrea followed her. The collapse was like a domino effect and produce now littered the ground around them, more so on the side trapped from them.

"Andrea, can you climb up a little, see what's behind?" Ava asked. She would have done it herself, but straining herself barely a week after giving birth seemed risky.

"Sure." Andrea said, placing her foot in the gap between the standing shelf and the fallen one. Ava braced herself against the standing one as Andrea put her weight on it and straightened. She scanned the torchlight over the aisle beyond.

"They're not fully stocked, but it's about half full. A good amount of supplies. If all the shelves are like this we should have plenty for weeks, maybe even months."

"You sound optimistic." Ava said, grinning as Andrea stepped down. She shrugged.

"Gotta be with everything else going on. You seem to have optimism in buckets. The rest of us have to work for it."

Ava smiled bleakly.

"I think it's more denial than optimism. Failing just isn't an option now." Now that she had children. Now that they had a family. Now that they had a home. Andrea smiled reassuringly and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Like you said, we're survivors. We'll make it through."

"Ooh, it's getting cosy in here."

They both turned and gave Merle a look: Andrea a scowl, Ava one of frustration.

"Two walkers coming from the forest round back but other than that it's quiet." Daryl said, stepping up behind him. Ava caught Michonnes' eye past Daryls' shoulder and she could see her scowling at Merle. Ava fought back a smirk.

"Alright, let's get to the first aisle. It'll be easier to lift a shelf that isn't weighed down by loads of other ones."

The five of them went to the first aisle, Ava leaving Michonne on watch again, and with a critical eye she examined the shelving unit.

"Are we gonna do this or what?"

"Shut up, Merle." Daryl grunted.

"Right." Ava straightened, turning to them. "Might be easier if someone went to the next aisle and pushed it up while we pull the sides."

"I'll do it." Merle said, then frowned when they all looked at him. "What? I got the guns, I can handle it."

"That isn't why we're looking at you." Andrea said. Merle cocked a brow at her.

"Ah, so you've noticed how strong I am?"

Andrea gave him a look of disbelief.

"Wow, you can literally turn anything into a flirt, can't you?"

Merle quirked his brow. Ava rolled her eyes so hard she was even compelled to face-palm, but resulted in shaking her head.

"Fine. Merle, go. Daryl, you grab the top. Andrea and I will go beneath you."

"No, _I'll_ go below. There won't be room for both of us, anyway." Andrea said. Ava went to argue, but closed her mouth and pushed away the antsy, uncomfortable feeling she got from not doing anything to help. She tried to tell herself she was helping without taking part, but it still irritated her.

"Okay," Merle said, just visible through the gap. "Let's go."

The three of them heaved at the shelf, trying to counter-balance the weight of the other side, and managed to form a gap about half a metre wide before they hit a dead end.

"It's not gonna go any further. Something's blocking it." Daryl groaned. Ava moved past them and saw that there was indeed something blocking it. One of the shelving supports from the shelf next to it was stuck between the two. And it was on the blocked side.

"There's no way I can reach that." Ava said, biting her lip. "Maybe if we put it down again we can try and squeeze someone over the top."

"No one's gonna fit through that gap." Andrea said.

"Just go under." Merle grunted. "Squeeze under it!"

Ava looked at Andrea and Daryl, who nodded, and went to duck under Andreas' arms. The gap between both sides was narrow and quivering thanks to the others holding it above her. Ava pressed her back to the second downed unit and shimmied across, staring warily at the unit above.

Once she slipped out onto the other side – nearly skidding on a can of soup – she grabbed at the support and tried to wrench it away. It didn't budge.

"Anytime now, Posh." Merle growled.

"I'm trying!" Ava said through gritted teeth. She tried one final yank and yelped, slicing her palm open on the shredded metal edge. Her palm filled with blood and Ava seethed against the pain.

"What's going on?" Andrea called.

"I can't budge the support. We're gonna have to all go under it."

"Oh, great." Merle grunted again.

"Shut up, Merle. Andrea, you go first. We're not all gonna get through. Not when we're holding this." Daryl said.

"Just get under!" Merle said. Ava could see him straining with the top of the shelf, face red with the effort. "I'll wait!"

Further discussion was cut off when the shelving unit slipped an inch. Andrea shuffled across and Ava grabbed her hand, pulling her out into the aisle. A look of relief spread over her face, then she caught sight of Ava's hand.

"How'd you do that?"

"The blockage."

Both woman rushed forwards as Daryl struggled beneath the shelf. With the four of them trying to balance the weight, Daryl finally fell out on the other side and the shelf clanked down. Daryl huffed, standing and wiping the dust and sweat from his hands.

Andrea whipped a handkerchief from her pocket and started biding Ava's wound with it. She cocked a brow and Andrea smirked.

"My gran always carried a handkerchief. Never thought they'd be so useful."

Ava snorted a chuckle.

"Merle? Where the hell are you going?"

Ava and Andrea turned to Daryl and frowned. Merle was no longer at the head of the shelving unit. She strained to look over the blockage.

"Out." Came the call.

"What do you mean out?" Andrea said, glaring in the direction of the voice. "We can't get out without you."

"Bollocks." Ava said, feeling stupid for letting him be in control of their fate. She thought they could trust him. "Merle, you swore you'd do what I said."

Merle came down the aisle, avoiding Daryls' eyes and looking straight into Avas'. They were solemn and – worse still – guilty.

"I heard you telling Daryl."

Ava blanched, eyes growing wide as she turned to Daryl, who shared an equally fearful look with her.

"Merle, don't you dare, man. Come on!" Daryl yelled, kicking the unit.

"This is probably the only way the Governor will leave us alone. Officer Friendly won't do it. He's too weak."

"Rick made the right choice and even if he hadn't there's no way I would have let him." Ava seethed.

"Exactly." Merle said, smiling sadly. "Your virtue will get you all killed."

"Where's Michonne?"

"Knocked her out before helping with the shelf. I'll get her to the Governor all gift-wrapped, and your babies will be safe."

Ava felt her eyes sting with tears, shoving Daryl aside as she tried to lift the shelf. The three of them tried.

"I'm sorry." Merle said, backing away,

"No. Merle!" Daryl yelled, but he was gone.


	130. This sorrowful life: Part 2

**_Authors note:_**

 _WOW! It's been sooo long since I updated this story! Sorry for that guys but Its been a difficult year and beyond that, I've been working on my own novel and uni work. But I'm back now! Don't know how frequent my updates will be, but I will do my best to get up a few chapters a week :) thanks so much for the support over the year and I hope you'll continue to read :)_

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S3E15P2

"Shit, shit, shit." Ava muttered. The unit was not going to budge. "Daryl go round the other side to push from the top. We've got to stop Merle!"

"Is anyone going to tell me what's going on?" Andrea said, giving up on the unit. Ava sighed.

"The Governor gave Rick a way out: hand over Michonne." Andrea stared at her, stunned. "I was going to tell you and her later on, but we didn't get the time."

"He's gonna kill her." Andrea said, blanching.

"I know."

"Grab it!" Daryl grunted, already trying to shove the top up. Andrea and Ava tugged at the sides, Ava gritting her teeth against the pain in her hand, but it barely lifted enough to stick a hand in the gap.

"It's no use." Andrea said, the three dropping it. "We needed Merle, the git."

"We've got to think this through." Ava said, trying not to panic, to not blame herself for leaving the situation perfect for Merles' plans. "Is there any other way out of the building?"

Daryl grunted and stormed from the aisle, haring around the back of the store. They all did. There were no other doors, no windows to bust through it seemed they were stuck.

"Shit!" Daryl yelled, kicking a unit. Ava didn't say anything, but from the way he hobbled afterwards she figured he was already regretting it. Andrea ran her fingers through her hair.

"We're screwed. We can't get out of here – not until Rick gets worried and sends someone after us."

"He won't do that for another few hours at least and by that time it may be too late." Ava said. The three of them exchanged glances, none of them wanting to think about what would happen if the Governor got a hold of Michonne.

Ava growled and started pacing. It barely lasted a minute before she was back down the aisles, searching for one they could get over or around or-

Under.

Ava stopped at the last aisle, the aisle with no more units to knock down that left a triangular gap between the floor, wall unit, and tipped unit. She fell to her knees and lay flat on the ground, scooping tins and food products out from the gap. The sound of food spiralling across the linoleum floor caught Daryl and Andrea's attention and they raced to join her in the aisle. Now cleared, she turned to face them.

"I think we can fit under here."

Neither of them said anything. Daryl moving to the side of the unit and trying to raise it a little more, giving her about an inch more space.

"Be careful." Andrea said, folding her arms anxiously. Ava gave them a shaky smirk.

"Don't drop it on me." She said, before dragging herself under the unit. It was slow going, what with the inability to bend her knees, but using the toes of her boots and her palms, she managed to drag herself to the other side. "I'm clear!"

Daryl dropped the unit with a groan. Ava didn't waste much time before sprinting to the front of the store and out into the road. The truck was gone, Michonne and Merle with it.

"God damnit!" Ava growled, throwing her knife to the ground and raking her hands through her hair. She took a deep breath and steeled herself, trying to get a grip. She couldn't afford to lose it. Michonne was counting on her.

Three deep breaths later, Ava felt control return and bent to retrieve her knife. A walker growled as it ambled from the trees, drawn by her shouts, but she paid it no attention. Merle would be taking Michonne to Woodbury, which means he would have headed away from the prison.

She looked down the road, seeing no hint of a vehicle, before turning back to the store.

"Any sign of them?" Andrea said. Ava shook her head and Daryl swore.

"We'll get them, Daryl. We just have to hurry." Ava said, darting forward to start shifting the shelf. Daryl followed suit and Andrea shimmied beneath, joining Ava in lifting the other side. Daryl had the tightest fit, but shoved his crossbow under the first and scooted after it. It wasn't long before they were all on the right side, but by that point they were all out of breath. Still, they raced from the store and took stock. The walker was closer by now and Ava drew her knife.

"Right," she said, slamming it through the eye socket. "From here to Woodbury is pretty much a straight shot. Merle'll follow this road for sure. Daryl, go after them on the bike. We can't afford to waste any more time. If you divert from this road, leave clues that we can follow. Andrea and I will follow and that car-" She pointed to an abandoned Volvo that clearly hadn't been driven for a long time. "-once I've got it working."

"It's a plan, boss." Daryl said, chucking the crossbow over his shoulder and jogging to the bike.

"What do we do when we find them?" Andrea asked as the engine roared to life. Ava nodded at Daryl as he moved away and raced to the bonnet of the car. Andrea moved to pop it without a word.

"I don't know, but Merle isn't stupid – or at least, not completely. That's why he waited until we couldn't stop him. If we reach him, it won't take much to make him back down."

"Something tells me he won't let us hear the end of it," Andrea muttered. Ava scoffed.

"Not a chance."

It took over half an hour to get the engine into passable working order. Well, it would start and potter along. Andrea managed to scavenge enough gas for the tank to be a quarter full, so by the time Ava slammed the bonnet shut, they were ready to go.

As they followed the road after Daryl and Merle, Eve struggled not to floor the gas for fear of burning what little fuel they had. Andrea kept an eye out for any signs of Daryl changing direction, but there was nothing. In fact, they were so engrossed in searching that when Michonne darted out of the forest, Ava almost ran her over.

The breaks squealed as she did an emergency stop, she and Andrea staring through the windshield at a relieved but pissed-looking Michonne. Ava jumped out of the drivers' seat and raced over to her friend, catching her in a tight hung.

"Thank Christ," she said, laughing with relief. When she pulled away, Andrea took her place, the two laughing together. "How did you get away?"

"Merle let me go."

Ava blinked, sharing a look with Andrea.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that," Andrea said. Michonne shook her head.

"Neither was I."

"Where's Daryl? Did you see him on the road?"

Michonne nodded.

"He said you guys would be following, but he's gone after Merle. He thinks he's gonna face the Governor alone."

Ava's heart clenched at the thought, knowing he wouldn't stand a chance. She looked back down the road as if she expected Daryl to appear and rid her of the conflicted feeling roiling in her stomach. But he didn't. She looked between Andrea and Michonne, who waited for her decision, and pursed her lips.

"Let's go. Daryl can handle himself, but we don't have the gas or the man-power to help him right now."

"And if he's in trouble?" Andrea pressed.

"If he's not back an hour after we are, Rick and I will get a team together to go after him. There's not much we can do for now, though. Besides, we get delayed much longer, Rick will probably send a search party after us."

"You've got a point there." Andrea said, clapping Michonne on the back before climbing into the car.

Ava stared down the road for a moment longer, her heart aching at the thought of leaving Daryl, but he'd understand. Going back was best for all of them. So she put the car into reverse and did a three-point-turn, putting them back on the path to the prison.


	131. This sorrowful life: Part 3

S3E15P3

On the way back to the prison the car broke down not once, but twice. Thankfully it was by sheer will and Avas' DIY's that it kept together long enough to get them to the prison gates. Ava didn't bother trying to drive it up to the courtyard. The engine sounded especially ill if the ground was anything but perfectly flat.

It was almost dark as they got out of the car, Maggie and Glenn running to open the gates for them through the gloom. Ava and Michonne took out the two walkers ambling towards them before they slipped inside and Glenn wrapped Ava in a hug.

"Thank God you guys are back. We were beginning to get worried!"

"We're fine, Glenn. But things didn't exactly go as planned." Ava sighed, pulling away and patting him on the shoulder. It was then that he looked around and frowned.

"Where's Daryl?"

"And Merle?" Maggie said, both of them turning to Ava. She sighed again, but before she could answer, Rick and Carl came running down the road. He slowed as he approached them, but didn't stop until he collided with Ava and wrapped her tight in his warm arms. She hugged him back, savouring the smell of him and the feeling that she was home.

"What happened?" Rick said as he pulled back, Carl taking his place. Ava rubbed the boys back as she replied.

"Merle overheard what we said about the Governor and Michonne. He waited until me, Daryl and Andrea were trapped behind the shelves, then knocked her out and took the truck. God, I feel so stupid for making it so easy for him."

"Hey," Rick squeezed her shoulder. "You did nothing wrong, alright? I should have told everyone sooner. Maybe that would have stopped him from taking things into his own hands."

He pressed a kiss to her head.

"How did you get Michonne back?" Carl asked. "And where's Daryl gone?"

"Merle let me go," Michonne said.

"Much to my surprise," Andrea muttered.

"Daryl went after him," Ava continued. "I would have followed, but if Merle was already with the Governor, we wouldn't have had the weapons or manpower to do anything about it."

"No, you were right to come back. We can regroup and decide what to do now. When was the last time you saw Daryl?" Rick asked.

"I told him to go after Merle while I got that Volvo working so we wouldn't lose them. That was about four hours ago."

Rick nodded, rubbing the scruff on his chin as he looked about the group. Eventually, he nodded.

"Alright. Glenn, get everyone gathered in the Cell Block. We need to have a chat. Ava, come with me."

He threaded his fingers through hers, heading back towards the prison and patting Carl on the back as he did. They returned to the Cell Block and to their own room, Ava moving to the twins when she saw them sleeping. She knelt beside them, her heart aching with love as she stroked their soft cheeks.

"What do you think we should do?" Rick said. Ava turned and saw him sat on the edge of their bed, watching her.

"About what? Merle and Daryl?"

"That, and the Governor."

Ava blinked.

"I've been thinking about it all day. How we're going to fight him. How can I keep everyone safe?"

"I honestly don't know, Rick." She said softly. "But I don't think leaving is an option. This prison…we need it, now more than ever. If we had to leave with two newborns…"

She trailed off. She didn't need to tell him how hopeless it was, how desperate they were. He already knew. It was unspoken but there: if they had to leave the prison, their babies could die.

"So we stay," he said. "No matter what."

Ava sighed, scrunching her eyes tight and shaking her head. She turned to face him, taking his hands in hers and resting beside his legs, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

"I don't know, Rick. Cause as much as I don't want to leave, that decision affects everyone here. Our group isn't just friends, they're family, and I couldn't bear it if any of them died because I couldn't leave."

Rick frowned.

"But if we leave, Amy and Aidan could die."

Ava swallowed hard.

"Yes, they could. But they could also die in here. If the Governor attacks, or lets the Walkers in, or decides to starve us out – they'd be in danger anyway. I'd give anything to find them a place where their lives weren't hanging in the balance, but that's not going to happen. Not for a very long time, at least."

"So what should we do?"

Ava dropped her head against his knee and sighed.

"I think I'm biased when comes to making decisions, because as a mother every choice I make will be to keep them safe."

"In that case, I'm just as biased as you."

Ava said nothing, merely nodding her agreement. He nodded back, squeezing her hands.

"I hope Daryl finds Merle." Ava added, still staring at her sleeping babies. "He may have betrayed our trust, but he did it with good intentions."

Rick snorted.

"Merle? Good intentions?"

Ava chuckled.

"He said he was doing it because he knew you wouldn't, and he wanted to keep our babies safe."

She felt Rick stiffen beside her. She pushed up and landed beside him on the bed, still holding his hand.

"He may be an asshole, but he's not evil. He does what's right when it comes down to it and he is Daryls' brother."

Rick nodded.

"I'll trust your opinion cause it's rarely wrong." He smiled down at her, tipping her chin to give her a quick kiss before standing. By now, most of the group were gathered below them. "Time to talk to the masses."

Ava chuckled.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure they don't rip you apart."

He smiled as they went to join the others. Everyone was there, including Tyresse, Sasha and Jeff.

"Alright," Rick started, hands on his hips as he faced the group. "There's something I've been wanting to tell you. Something I waited to say because, well, the matter was sensitive and I honestly didn't know what to do. But the Governor gave us a way out of this."

Collective gasps rippled through the crowd, shock and something akin to hope in their eyes.

"But it would mean giving Michonne to him, and we all know that ain't an option." The hope deflated. "But Merle found out about the deal and tried to take things into his own hands. He changed his mind. Now Daryl is going after him, to stop him from doing something that could get him killed. I don't know if it's too late, but I sure as hell hope not."

He looked to Ava who stood beside him, arms folded, and nodded encouragingly. He turned back to the others.

"And I'm sorry." He said, his eyes fixing on Carl before spreading to the rest of the group. Jeff, Carol, Tyresse, Beth… they all looked at him not as the man who had lied, but as the man who was leading them and doing his best. "What I said last year, that first night after the farm, it can't be like that. It can't. What we do, what we're willing to do, who we are, it's not my call. It can't be."

Rick reached out and took Avas' hand, squeezing it gently.

"I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good because we are the greater good." He continued, looking to Michonne, who was smiling for the first time as if she actually believed they could do it, that Rick was someone worth following.

"We're the reason we're still here, not me. This is life and death. How you live, how you die – it isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor. We choose to go. We choose to stay. We stick together. We vote. We can stay and we can fight or we can go."

For a moment, everyone was quiet, exchanging glances, gathering other peoples' thoughts. There seemed to be a consensus.

"Like I said," Tyreese said, folding his arms. "I'll fight to defend this place no matter what."

"Count me in, then." Sasha said, smiling at Ava.

"This place is our home," Maggie said, looking across the group. "And that man doesn't deserve our fear, or what we've fought and lost so much for."

Agreeable nods echoed around the room.

"Rick?" Jeff said, eyeing his brother as he wrapped an arm around Carls' shoulders. "All I care about is surviving, so if you think this is our best bet of surviving – and I think it is – then I vote stay."

Rick nodded.

"Well then, let's put it to the vote." Rick exchanged a look with Ava and, despite what everyone had said, she felt a shiver of terror at the thought of leaving. "Those in favour of staying?"

It seemed her fear was unfounded. Nearly every hand shot up immediately, the only one taking a hesitant moment being Claudia, who had snuck in the back. Ava smiled and Rick nodded.

"Guess that's it then. We stay. We fight. And we will win."

Less than an hour after the vote, Daryl returned with a disgruntled Merle on the back of his bike. As soon as it stopped Merle jumped off.

"Was it you who sent my stupid ass brother after me? I ain't no stray pup!"

Ava stared at Merle for a moment, then slapped him. Glenn chuckled. Rick snorted as he patted Daryl on the back.

"That's for being a stupid asshole and leaving us trapped in that store," she said, folding her arms. Merle rubbed his cheek.

"It's not for kidnapping Michonne then?"

"No. I'll let Michonne figure out a suitable punishment for that," she smiled sweetly and patted his other cheek before turning to give Daryl a hug. "We were just thinking of going after you two."

"S'nothing. Found him shooting up the Governors' meet point. Almost didn't make it out."

"Well, I'm glad you did," Rick said. "Both of you."

Merle rolled his eyes.

"You're not going all soppy on me, Officer Friendly? Should have stayed and got shot."

"Don't even joke about that, man!" Daryl snapped, glaring at his brother before storming into the prison.

"Take it Samuri made it back?" Merle said, ignoring Daryl.

"Yes. So did Andrea, by the way. I think she may also want to hit you. Or maybe knee you somewhere sensitive…"

"We will be having a talk about this later," Rick said, giving Merle a stern look. "But for now we've got bigger things to deal with."

"Like what?"

"While you and Daryl were MIA, the group decided. We're staying to fight. Now I get that you didn't get to vote, but majority rules, so either you stay with us, or you can leave. But I think it'd be better for everyone if you stayed."

Merle cocked a disbelieving brow.

"Really?"

Ava snorted.

"Yes," Rick said, fighting a smile. "Hard as it is to believe. So what do you say?"

He stared at Rick for a moment as if wondering whether this was a trick question. He glanced between him and Ava before nodding.

"Alright Officer Friendly. Let's take this crazy sonovabitch down."


	132. Welcome to the Tombs: Part 1

S3E16P1

When Ava woke she immediately turned to the twins. It was habit now, to find herself woken in the night by their cries, but for once they were quiet. She took a deep breath, raking her fingers through her hair. Another nightmare. It had been a long time since she'd been plagued by such dreams. In the very early days, before Rick, she'd dreamed of Hailey, Luke and Riley constantly. Back then the dreams had been unpleasant.

She was running, chasing the sound of their voices, their screams, but she never caught up. She only found the dead, scattered in her path, too mutilated for her to tell if it was her family she saw. Those dreams always woke her in a cold sweat.

More recently, the dreams were of the days before the outbreak, hanging out together for the first time in years, finally happy, finally together. It seemed a cruel joke that they were ripped apart only weeks after reconciling.

"Ava?"

Ava looked over her shoulder as Rick sat up. Sleep had tousled his hair, but his eyes were alert, wary. His expression relaxed a little when he saw there was no immediate danger.

"Are you alright?"

Ava smiled and nodded, giving the twins one final look before curling into his arms. They lay back down, forced close together by the confines of the single bed. There hadn't been time to rearrange cells and make room for double beds. The Governor took priority. Thinking about him made Ava shudder and Ricks' grip on her tightened. He gently ran his fingers up and down her back.

"We'll survive this," Ava said, though she didn't know if she was reassuring Rick or herself. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I know we will," he sighed. "After everything we've been through, we're owed a win,"

Ava smiled. Listening to the sound of Rick breathing, his heart beating steadily beneath her, made her feel safe and warm, but she knew she wouldn't be sleeping again anytime soon.

"Do you ever wonder what life might have been like if the outbreak hadn't occurred?"

Rick was silent for a moment.

"Not really," he chuckled. "I mean, what would be the point? At this point my life before is unrecognisable. I have no idea how it would have gone."

Ava sighed, shifting so their faces were inches apart. His eyes bored into hers, blue to blue.

"Why do you ask?"

Ava shrugged.

"Just one of the many questions that I feel deserves more attention, but always gets forgotten about,"

Rick smirked.

"In our defence, we've had a lot on our minds,"

Ava laughed but quickly smothered it, glancing at the twins long enough to see they weren't disturbed. She turned back.

"We definitely have. I gave it some thought in the months with Michonne and Andrea, though. The winter was long and difficult. Not much else to do then but think."

"And survive."

Ava hummed in agreement. Rick looked down, jaw tense as he swallowed. They hadn't talked much about the time they had spent apart, both preferring to stay in the present and not remember the past. Ava got the feeling that Rick had struggled in those months – perhaps more than she had.

She had always taken solace in the fact that Rick was alive, even if she didn't know where he was. Rick hadn't had that. He'd believed her and their unborn child dead. Ava couldn't even begin to imagine what that was like, yet somehow he'd managed to get through it and keep the group alive. Ava knew she was strong, but she didn't think she could ever be as strong as Rick.

"What did you imagine?" he said, drawing her gaze from the past. She blinked and tried to recall the hypothetical's she'd imagined.

"Well, first of all, Luke and I were planning to stay with Hailey and Riley for at least another month, maybe longer. Luke worked from home so him staying had no effect on his work and I'd quit my job because everything around that time reminded me of Bradley and, well, yeah…"

Ava swallowed, pushing away the thoughts of that terrible time.

"But I like to think I would have chosen to stay in America with Hailey, regardless of what Luke chose. She needed help. So did I. It would have been good for us to get through it together." Ava frowned. "Shit. I just realised Riley is probably thirteen now. She turned twelve a month before the outbreak and it must have been a year since by now. Christ… it's crazy the things you forget."

Rick nodded.

"Carls' birthday was in the winter you were gone. I don't know when exactly. There just came a time when we realised it must have come and gone. Birthdays' aren't what they used to be."

Ava snorted.

"Especially when you can't tell when they are,"

Rick sighed. His fingers had begun to trace a looped pattern into the small of her back.

"So, you would have stayed in America?" he pressed. Ava smiled.

"If I was brave enough. Like you said, our lives are unrecognisable and as such, so are we. I don't know if the old me would have made that move, but now, if I could go back, I'd stay. I'd get a new job, help Hailey look after Riley, convince her her ex was an ass-hat-" Rick snorted. "Then I'd probably… well. I don't know. God only knows what life would have had in store for me then."

"I don't think anyone predicted the outbreak when they considered the future before."

"It certainly wasn't what I had in mind when I came to America. Have a nice family reunion then get struck unawares by the dead rising."

Rick grinned, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers. Ava closed her eyes, content, and let thoughts of what could have been fall away. That future was gone and she'd never know what it would have been. She didn't care, either. This was the life she'd been given and she wouldn't give it up – wouldn't give her family up – for anything.

* * *

 _Yes! I'm back! I'm sorry it's been so long. My motivation petered out a bit but I've still got so many ideas for how this story is going to go so I'm going to keep at it :) this chapter was just to help me get back into it and hopefully you enjoyed the Rick and Ava time. The season finale gets started next ;)..._


	133. Welcome to the Tombs: Part 2

S3E16P2

The prison was a hub of activity, everyone moving backwards and forwards, packing up belongings and supplies. Ava didn't have much to call her own, but the twins had accumulated a number of items they were attached to. Beth and Jeff had managed to sew some vaguely bear-shaped teddies that they liked to sleep with and Carl had found a rattle when he went home with Rick. Unfortunately, Amy and Aidan loved it equally and squabbled over it if they saw the other had it. Ava already had a mental checklist of things to get them when she could. She added another rattle to the list.

"Need a hand?"

Ava looked up and saw Carl in the doorway, already weighed down by a large duffel bag. Ava smiled, stuffing the last of the baby clothes into her own duffel. Her usual bag, whilst deceptively spacious, was made for light travelling and wouldn't take much more – especially with all the nappies they had to carry around.

"I'm alright, kid. You got everything?"

He nodded.

"Jeffs' stuff is in here, too. He didn't have much to start with. Apparently he and Claudia lost their bags crossing a river a few weeks back,"

"Bad luck," Ava sighed. "Where is your uncle, anyway? He's getting off easy with his shoulder the way it is. Least he can do is help you pack,"

Carl shrugged.

"Think he's helping Beth,"

Ava rolled her eyes as she zipped the duffel, throwing it over her shoulder.

"Now there's a surprise,"

As they left the prison Ava saw Carol and Andrea wandering the courtyard, Amy and Aidan in their arms. She smiled and waved as they passed them, trying to untangle the familiar knot of dread that had formed overnight. Anytime now, she knew. The Governor wouldn't wait any longer than he had to.

Glenn, Tyreese, Jeff and Beth were huddled around two of the cars, cramming the many bags into the boots and back seats, if necessary. Ava didn't see Rick at first, but then he stood, leaning against the opened car bonnet as we passed. He ruffled Carls' hair as the boy went by.

"All good?"

Ava nodded.

"We're pretty much cleared out. Ready to run if we need to,"

Rick glanced back at Carl and Ava bit her lip, worrying it gently so she took a deep breath.

"Hey," Rick cupped her arm. "We're gonna survive this."

"I know," Ava sighed. "But it doesn't make it any easier."

He squeezed her shoulder and let her pass, Beth reaching out for the duffel as Carl darted back off to the prison. Michonne chucked a bag to Jeff, who grunted when he caught it, and immediately ducked back inside the prison.

"I don't think she likes me," he chuckled nervously. Ava smiled.

"Don't worry. So long as you don't piss her off, you won't have a problem."

That didn't seem to ease his mind as he glanced, pale-faced, at Beth. They both laughed at him.

"Thought you weren't scared of anything," Rick said, a smile pulling at his lips. Jeff cocked a brow at him.

"I'm not, but she's fucking terrifying,"

Ava laughed and turned back to Rick, her hand on his shoulder as she looked down into the engine.

"Anything I need to do?"

He shook his head.

"Just checking the oil levels and stuff. Everything seems fine," He slammed the bonnet down.

"Hey," Glenn said, drawing their attention. He was glancing back up towards the cell block, towards Carls' retreating form. "Is Carl okay?"

Rick frowned.

"Have you noticed he's not?"

"Not exactly," Glenn shook his head. "Just… I don't know. He seems closed off. Maybe not with you guys, but with the rest of group he's gotten real quiet. I just tried to talk to him but he brushed it off, barely said a word."

Ava frowned, trying to recall any oddities in Carls' behaviour, but she couldn't find any beyond what was expected since his mothers' death. That being said, she couldn't remember the last time he'd sought out someone who wasn't herself, Rick or Jeff.

"He's still a kid," Rick said, sharing a look with Ava. "It's easy to forget."

"What's happened must have shaken him." She said. "Maybe this is his way of dealing?"

Glenn nodded.

"Would make sense,"

"What would?"

"That he would cling on to what's left of his family after losing his mother."

Ava contemplated this and made another mental note to talk to him about it when this was over.

"Hey, Posh!"

Ava jumped, turning to see Merle scowling at them, hands on his hips – or hand and stump on his hips.

"You finished flirting? Threesome can wait for later. Daryl needs a hand with his bike."

Ava gritted her teeth and sighed aggressively. Rick barely gave him a second look but Glenn still seemed ready to punch him.

"Guess duty calls," she said, reaching up for a quick kiss before turning off towards the Dixons.

"If that duty involves punching Merle, can you pawn it off on me?" Glenn yelled after her. Ava snickered.

"No promises."

It didn't take long for Ava to fix the problem, just an issue caused by one of the Governors' bullets. It seemed Daryl and Merles' escape was a close call.

"Thank you."

Ava looked up, cleaning the grease from her hands.

"What for?"

"For not giving up on Merle. I know he's a piece of work and I thought, after what he did, he'd be out."

Ava stood and clapped Daryl on the shoulder, keeping the touch quick since he never seemed to like prolonged contact.

"Merle has a habit of digging his own grave, but he isn't actively trying to kill us." She rolled her eyes. "At the moment, anyway. Besides, he cares about you. I'd even go so far as to say he cares a bit about this group," Ava held her hand up, fingers millimetres apart. "Only a tiny bit though,"

Daryl snorted.

"He did the right thing. He let Michonne go. Rick and I discussed it and thought it better to let it be water under the bridge – but don't be expecting Michonne to get over it so quickly. She's promised not to kill him, but she may choose to maim him at some point. Just fair warning."

Daryl snorted again, this time surprising Ava when he patted her on the back.

"I'll be sure to warn him," he said.

Back in the prison, Rick looked around the space that was their home, now empty, and felt his own fear grow. He took a deep breath and pushed it away, reminding himself that they were strong enough to survive this. The plan would work.

"We're ready."

Rick looked down and saw Michonne standing at the bottom of the stairs. He nodded and went down to meet her.

"The deal the Governor offered about me..."

Rick faltered, frowning at her as she stared carefully back.

"You had to think about it. You had to." Rick looked away. Michonne nodded. "I get it."

"Yeah." Rick sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't consider it for long – Ava would never have allowed it – but the thought crossed my mind."

"You'd only just got her back. I can't say I blame you for being willing to sacrifice me in the hopes of protecting your family."

Rick nodded and they headed out of the cell block.

"I never thanked you."

"For what?"

"For getting me out there that day, taking me in," Michonne said. It took Rick a moment to recall what she was talking about. So much had changed since then that it felt like ages ago.

"Well, if you didn't have that baby formula, I wouldn't have. And it would have been the biggest mistake of my life."

"You could have just taken the formula." Michonne pointed out.

"Well..." Rick shrugged. "Must have been something else, then."

"It's because Ava was right," Michonne smiled. "You are a good person."

Rick smiled, trying to reconcile her image of him with the one he had of himself. He didn't feel like a good person, not that is bothered him as much as it should. He was fine with doing terrible things if it meant his family survived. He'd give up being a good person for their sake.

But Carl… Rick was beginning to see a pattern with him, one Rick had been through himself. He wondered if things would need to change for the sake of his son. He'd give up himself, gladly, but not Carl.

"I never thanked you, either,"

"For what?" Michonne echoed.

"For keeping Ava and Andrea alive. You didn't have to, but you stayed with them all that time. Ava said they would have died without you."

Michonne looked away.

"It was my pleasure. I'd forgotten what it was like,"

"What what was like?"

She smiled sadly.

"To have friends. To have a family."


	134. Welcome to the Tombs: Part 3

S3E16P3

Ava pressed a kiss to Amy and Aidans' fuzzy heads before handing them to Jeff and Beth. They, along with Hershel and Carl, would be staying out of the way and far from the fight. Merle was itching for some action and Tyreese and Sasha were ready and raring. It was all about to go down. Ava felt every breath press against the riot gear and she gasped as Rick dropped the helmet onto her head. He caught her eye.

"You alright?"

Taking a deep breath, Ava nodded.

"It's silly," she chuckled. "After everything we've been through, why does this feel so much harder?"

He smiled, pushing the visor up and wiping a tear from her eye.

"Because this isn't just survival, this is war. But just remember: they're basically the same thing. We've been at war against the walkers, the elements, always planning and strategising about where our next meal will come from, where we can stay to be safe. Now, this is about surviving."

"Because the Governor won't let us live," Ava finished. "He's worse than the walkers. But it's still the same principle."

She sighed, rubbing her eyes and giving Rick a tentative smile.

"You be careful down there," she warned.

"Only if you be careful up there,"

She smiled as he leaned in, just managing to reach her lips despite the gear. She laughed when he pulled away and flipped the visor down. Andrea, having just finished dressing Maggie in riot gear, grabbed two rifles from the table and handed them one each. Ava checked the mags and that nothing was jammed before swinging it over her shoulder.

Andrea gave her a quick hug before heading after Michonne, who had helped Glenn dress. She tipped a salute to the riot squad. Tyreese hugged his sister one last time before he headed in the same direction. He clapped Rick on the back as he went.

Ava nodded and watched Rick go, holding his gaze as long as she could before he disappeared into the tombs. Ava turned to Maggie, Glenn and Sasha and fought back her fear, giving them the cocky smile she knew they'd recognise from her.

"Right then," she said. "Let's give these bastards a lesson they'll never forget."

Ava shared a look with Sasha when they heard the trucks approaching. She didn't dare look up over the barricade, not when everything relied so heavily on them not being seen. Maggie and Glenn were in the walkway opposite thankfully keeping as low as she was.

Sasha didn't appear that nervous and Ava hoped she was keeping her fear controlled as well. She was in charge of this. She couldn't mess it up, not when Rick and the others were lying in wait in the tombs.

Something blew the guard tower, the impact loud enough that the shockwave shook the ground beneath them. Ava guessed it was a rocket-launcher. Her grip on the rifle tightened, her fingers aching from the strain.

More bazooka fire. A hell of a lot more bullets. It felt wrong not to shoot back, but for once staying hidden and letting it happen was the plan.

Then everything fell silent – except the residual ringing in her ears. If there hadn't been a helmet in the way, she might have stuck her finger in there to try and shake the sound.

Sasha got her attention with a hand gesture and pointed downwards. Ava nodded. She could hear them too, now. They were heading into the Cell Block.

Ava could only thank God that Merle was confined to the tombs with Rick and the others. If he'd been out here, he would have been firing already.

The silence that followed was deafening. Now it wasn't apprehension but fear that gripped at Ava. Now it was Rick and the others in the line of danger. They'd lay in silence while the others waltzed inside. From the look on Sasha's face, Ava guessed she was just as uncomfortable.

After what felt like a lifetime, another more subdued bang went off inside the prison. Screams followed.

Ava shifted to a crouch on her side of the walkway, glancing over the barricade just enough to meet Glenns' eye. As people began spewing back towards the trucks, she nodded.

As one, the four of them stood and began firing on the ones that ran.

Ava had never had much practice with guns, especially not a fire-powered rifle like this, but her aim was true enough and with four of them chasing already scared fighters, it was easy to send them running.

"Get the hell out of here!" Maggie yelled, barely audible above the gunfire. Some began to shoot back, but Ava ducked behind the concrete doorway and so did the others. Bullets chipped at the barricade, but didn't get through. They weren't trying to kill them now, just get out alive.

They kept firing, watching as the Governor was dragged back to the cars and they all bombed out as quickly as they'd bombed in. Ava lowered her gun, swallowing the metallic taste in her mouth, and unclipped her helmet.

"We did it?" Maggie said, looking between them all. Ava heaved a sigh of relief.

"We did it!" she said, pumping her fist in the air and catching Sasha in a hug.

By the time Rick and the others had emerged from the prison, Ava, Sasha, Glenn and Maggie stood at the inner gates, helmets swinging at their sides. Ava tried to push sweaty strands of hair from her face, but the gloves made it difficult.

She turned at the sound of footsteps, reaching out as Rick came to her, his arms holding her tight. He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips before turning towards the road. Andrea grinned at Ava, who couldn't seem to keep a smile from her face.

"We did it." Rick said. "We drove them out."

"We should go after them." Michonne said as Tyreese pushed past and wrapped Sasha in a sideways hug.

"We should finish it." Daryl echoed.

"Hell yeah to that," Merle said. "Sooner we finish that prick, sooner these ladies can get into some more flattering clothes,"

"Shut up, Merle," Ava said, not even looking at him as she stepped forward and took Ricks' hand. Sasha gave Merle the middle finger.

"It is finished." Maggie said, looking between them. "Didn't you see them hightail it out of here?"

"They could regroup." Michonne pointed out.

"We can't take the chance."Glenn said. "He's not gonna stop."

"They're right." Carol added. "We can't keep living like this."

Ava bit her lip as she looked down at where the trucks had been, at the damage already done. She shook her head. Moments ago it had felt like they'd won, but it wouldn't stop until one or both of them was dead. The Governor would always come back.

"So we take the fight back to Woodbury?" Maggie said, incredulous. "We barely made it back last time."

"I don't care." Daryl said.

Rick wasn't paying attention anymore. Ava could see his mind whirring through the possibilities. He started to nod.

"Let's check on the others." He said, turning back towards the prison.

Once inside, Ava split off from Rick and began removing the clunkiest parts of her gear. She left the vest strapped on for now, not certain as to whether she was going to need it again in a minute.

Hershel and Carl came in from another exit, returning from the woods where they'd been hiding. Jeff and Beth followed, each holding one of the twins. Ava felt the tension drop from her and fell in behind Rick as he pressed a kiss to each of their heads. Ava did the same, taking Aidan from Jeff and stroking Amy's cheek.

Rick knelt down to hug Carl, but the boy pulled away sooner than he would have liked.

"Dad, I'm coming to Woodbury."

"Carl." Rick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Dad, I did my job out there. Just like all of you." Carl looked between Rick and Ava. "Took out one of the Governor's soldiers."

Ava froze, staring at Carl in shock. The boy kept his gaze on Rick, who looked equally disturbed by the revelation.

"One of his soldiers?" Hershel said. "A kid running away? He stumbled across us."

"No," Carl insisted. "No, he drew on us. I know he did."

Carls' hands were shaking. He didn't look so sure. He looked like he was struggling to tell himself he did the right thing. Ava swallowed.

"I'm sorry you had to do that." Rick said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Carl shied away.

"I did what I had to do, just like you did. And I'm going with you." He insisted before walking off. Ava shared a look with Rick.

"That kid was scared." Hershel sighed. "He was handing his gun over."

Rick shook his head.

"He said he drew. Carl said it was in defence."

"I was there. He didn't have to shoot. He had every reason not to."

Rick swallowed, his own hands shaking.

"Maybe it looked like that to you, Hershel-"

"Rick!" Hershel said sternly. "I'm telling you he gunned that kid down, whether he meant to or not."

Hershel hobbled off and Rick stared at Ava, seemingly at a loss for words.

"I don't believe he did it on purpose," Ava said, swallowing hard. Aidan huffed in her arms, seemingly irritated by the barrier of a bullet-proof vest.

"Of course he didn't," Rick insisted. Ava took his hand.

"But that doesn't mean what Hershel says is wrong. Carl looked freaked out. He probably thought he was doing the right thing and now isn't sure." Ava sighed, looking across at Carl, who was resolutely avoiding everyone and going through his stuff, face flushed and close to tears. "Poor kid. He's had to deal with so much lately. He's trying to grow too fast."

Rick sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Aren't we all?"

* * *

 _Hey guys! :) Hope you're still loving this story. Tomorrow will be the final part of Season 3! There're a lot of things I'm looking forward to writing in Season 4 and I can't wait for you to read it :)_


	135. Welcome to the Tombs: Part 4

S3E16P4

Ava gave herself a few minutes with each of the twins before joining the others in preparing for the Woodbury raid. Beth smiled as she took Amy. Ava sighed, looking between her and Jeff.

"I am sorry that you seem to be looking after them all the time lately,"

Jeff shrugged and Beth smiled.

"It's fine, really. You're keeping us safe in a way I can't," Beth said. "I'm glad I can do something to help."

Ava smiled.

"Still, thank you for doing it,"

They nodded. Ava grabbed her spear, pulling a jacket on over the bullet-proof vest, and headed out. Daryl was ready on his bike, Merle impatiently drumming on the roof of the car while Michonne glared at him.

Ava looked over as Rick approached, leaving Carl to storm off back towards the Cell Block. She frowned.

"What was all that about?"

"I talked to him about the boy. Seems to think he had to do it, that he didn't have a choice,"

"Why?" Ava asked, bemused as to how that little boy could think he needed to – for lack of a better term – murder someone. Rick sighed.

"He says he can't stop thinking about how if he'd killed that walker, Dale would be alive. And how if we'd killed the Governor when we first went to Woodbury, Lori would be alive,"

"Christ," Ava rubbed her face, her heart aching for the boy. "What did you tell him?"

Rick shrugged.

"He walked off before I could say anything, but I'll definitely talk to him about it later. He needs to be reminded of what you taught me,"

Ava looked up, surprised.

"What do you mean?"

He smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You stood up for Randall, for Dale. You told us that killing him was a choice between doing what is right and what is easy. Carl needs to see that, too."

Ava smiled sadly, remembering that night and how it was the last time they'd seen Dale. She shuddered at the memory of his death. Rick squeezed her shoulder and handed her his sheriffs' badge.

"Look after this for me. You deserve it more than I do,"

Ava went to protest, but Rick was already heading over to Glenn and Maggie. She stroked the cold metal, thinking back to the day she and Rick had met.

"Rick," Glenn said, as Ava approached. "We're staying."

Ava blinked, surprised.

"We don't know where the Governor is. If he comes back, we'll hold him off."

"Just the five of us?" Daryl said.

"Six," Andrea said, walking to Michonnes' side with a shotgun resting on her shoulder.

Rick looked between Glenn and Maggie before nodding. Ava didn't blame Maggie for wanting to stay out of this, not after what the Governor had done.

"I appreciate you staying," Rick said.

Glenn nodded.

"Sure." Maggie said.

They piled into the car, Merle perched in the bed of the truck and Daryl on his bike whilst Ava, Michonne and Andrea rode with Rick. Nobody said much, all too pent up with thoughts of what was to come. Ava fiddled with Ricks' badge absentmindedly. As they pulled up behind an array of abandoned vehicles, she shoved it into her pocket.

"Hold on," she frowned. "Aren't those the trucks that attacked us?"

Without Sasha, Maggie or Glenn there, she got no confirmation, but she was sure of it. They climbed out of the truck and saw fresh walkers feasting on bodies. Merle wasted no time in taking out a walker, Michonne and Andrea getting another two.

Ava glanced towards the forests, but as she'd suspected, no walkers came from there. These walkers were all a part of the convoy.

Rick stabbed a walker in the head and shared a look with her. She shrugged, then jumped as someone banged against the truck behind her. She whirled and everyone instinctively turned their guns on the truck. Within the cabin, a woman stared down at them.

Rick drew and cocked his python, coming to Avas' side as Daryl opened the truck. The woman didn't fight. She held her hands up and came out slowly.

"Ooh, Karen. Got yourself in a shit-show now-"

"Bite me, Merle," the woman – Karen – said. Her lip trembled as she looked at the bodies around her.

"What happened here?" Ava asked, stepping forward despite Ricks' uncertainty.

"The Governor, he…" she shook her head, fighting back tears. Ava gritted her teeth.

"That bastard," she muttered, turning to Rick. "He did this. He killed them all."

"Why the hell would he kill his own people?" Andrea said.

"Because he's a Goddamned psycho, blondie. Thought that was obvious."

"Will he go back to Woodbury?" Michonne said. "Finish the job?"

Karen paled.

"Christ, I hope not,"

Rick shared a look with Ava, who nodded, and put his gun away.

"Look, I get that the Governor has told your people that we're the enemy-"

"You attacked us! Killed our people."

"We didn't try to attack you." Rick argued. "The plan was to sneak in, get back our people."

Karen frowned.

"Your people?"

"Yeah," Merle stepped forward, doing a valiant impression of guilt. "The Governor didn't want those three-" He gestured to Ava, Michonne and Andrea. "-to leave, so he sent me after them. I brought them back and he had me torture them."

"He was going to execute us, would have done if not for Rick and the others," Ava said, taking Ricks' hand.

"Hang on, weren't you pregnant?"

Ava nodded.

"Gave birth a few weeks ago,"

Karen stared at her, aghast. Andrea stepped forward.

"The people in Woodbury aren't evil," she said. "And the Governor is now either gonna go and kill them, or run for it. He's gonna leave them. They don't deserve that,"

Karen nodded.

"Take me back. Take us back and I'll convince everyone that you're not who he said you were."

Rick nodded, squeezing Avas' hand as they turned towards the truck.

They didn't exactly receive a warm welcome. It was dark by the time they got to Woodbury and Ava shuddered to be back there. They edged around a car and were met by a volley of gunfire. Rick grabbed the back of her jacket, yanking her behind the car as they sheltered from attack. Michonne, Andrea and Merle fired back at the barricade. Ava gripped her rifle. In a brief moment of silence, Karen pushed away from them and stood.

"Chad!" She yelled. "It's me!"

"Get down!" Rick hissed, grabbing her arm.

"Karen!" A voice called. "Karen, are you okay?"

She ripped away from Ricks' grasp and stood, arms raised. Ava squinted and could just make out a figure on top of the wall.

"I'm fine!" She said.

"Where's the Governor?"

"He fired on everyone. He killed them all."

The silence that followed was a heavy one and Ava held her breath, wondering if they'd believe their friend or think this was some kind of trick.

"Why are you with them?" Chad said, confused.

"They saved me."

More silence. With a sigh, Rick lowered his gun.

"We're coming out!" He yelled, giving Daryl a look as Merle rolled his eyes. Ava holstered her gun reluctantly. Her jaw ached, tense as anything, as they approached the gates with their arms held high.

The gates groaned as they were opened, revealing a blond-haired man and another woman with plaited brown hair. They didn't immediately shoot them, which Ava took as a good sign.

"What are you doing here?" Chad said, staring at Rick.

"We were coming to finish this until we saw what the Governor did." He said, lowering his arms. Ava followed suit, resting her hand gently on her gun, a move that wasn't missed.

"He ... he killed them?" Chad said, looking between Rick and Karen.

"Yeah," Rick said.

Chad, after exchanging a look with other woman, nodded and gestured for them to enter.

After what seemed like hours of explaining and negotiations, it became clear that the Governor wasn't coming back, and even if he did, no one wanted to stay with him. No one wanted to be there when he came back.

There was little discussion between Ricks' group. The choice seemed obvious and while some of those within Woodbury chose to go off on their own, most of them wanted to come to the prison. Ava made a point of talking to as many of them as possible as they gathered their belongings and packed into the school bus. It felt strange to have so many people after a year of a small group. It was like a proper community, a village of sorts. As they climbed back into their truck, Ava looked at Rick and he looked at her. For the first time in a while, she wasn't just happy. She was hopeful. Rick smiled and her and she saw he felt the same. He held something out.

"I think this belongs to you,"

There, dangling from a familiar belt, was a tri-bladed dagger. A grin split Avas' face as she unsheathed the dagger that had served her so well.

"I didn't think I'd ever see this thing again," she said, laughing at herself. "And I can't believe I'm so fucking happy to see it. When did I become so weird?"

Rick failed to fight a smile.

"Are sure you weren't always weird?"

Ava elbowed him, unable to keep her scowl in please as he chuckled.

"Well, if I'm weird, so are you," she countered, sticking her tongue out mockingly.

"That's fine by me," he said, reaching out to take her hand. He pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "We can be weird together."

It was morning by the time they arrived back at the prison and those left behind stared in shock as people piled into the courtyard. They looked around, a little scared and more confused. Hershel, ever the good man, wasted no time in introducing himself to the people and welcoming them into the cell block. Carl frowned at the procession.

"What's going on?"

Rick put a hand on his shoulder.

"They're going to join us,"

He looked between us, incredulous.

"Why?" he said. "They were trying to kill us!"

"Were they?" Ava said. "I don't remember seeing that old lady pointing a gun at us. Besides, it doesn't matter if they did. The Governor told them lies about us and then killed a lot of their people."

"I still don't understand. They could be lying. They could be planning to kill us!"

"Yes, they could be," Rick said, putting emphasis on 'could'. He knelt down in front of Carl. "When I found Ava, she could easily have killed me. I could have easily left her behind. That would have been the easy thing to do. Instead I took a chance on her, and she on me. And if not for her, I never would have found you."

"And if not for you," Ava said. "I never would have found my new family."

Rick smiled.

"You see, Carl, we have a choice now. Between doing what is right and what is easy. And we should always try and do what is right, because there aren't many people left in this world who are."

Carl looked past his father, to the crowds of strangers filtering into their home, and nodded.

"Okay," he said. Ava smiled as she saw a number of people fawning over Aidan and Amelia, snug in Beth and Jeffs' arms. "If that's what you think is right."

"It is," Rick said, patting his son on the shoulder.

"I'm glad that's sorted," Ava said, leaning up to kiss Rick. "Now I think I'm going to go see my babies before they're stolen away by the newcomers."

* * *

 _Here we are! At the end of Season 3 and the end of Between the Living and the Dead! Don't worry, this is in no way the end of the story, but at 135 chapters I'm thinking it's time to move on to the sequel :) This will be up soon starting with Season 4 and will be called **In the Dying Light**! I've loved every moment of writing this book and hope you've enjoyed reading it just as much. I want to thank everyone for the reviews and support - I loved it all! I promise family reunions will be happening in the next book :) and look forward to reaching Alexandria and, of course, Negan... see you in the next one! Xx_


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